Get Your Weeds Off My Lawn!

Get your weeds off my lawn. It's one more thing.

I'm strong and geddy, very exciting, Katie Green driven. One more thing before we get to that. Two things I just came across, both of them barely interesting and inconsequential. One. Salma Hayek is going to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue at age fifty eight. So there you go.

I who do they think they're pleasing with their activisty. It's not just hot young chicks make it hot young chicks.

Or don't or you know, airbrushing or whatever they used to call it has always been a thing. But now when I can make myself look hot in like two minutes with an app, what is the point of any picture of anybody? I mean, what does it reveal?

I don't know. You can do it in video if you want, if you pay nineteen ninety nine for the advanced version of whatever AI.

And here's one other interesting nugget. Two of the biggest stories of the news cycle yesterday, the Menendez Brothers and Pete Rose an eighties throwback. Somebody looked it up. Dig this. The Menendez Brothers murders were August twentieth nineteen eighty nine. Pete Rose Band August twenty fourth, nineteen eighty nine. Four days part the same week within four days of each other. Resolve August eighty nine, Throwback eighties. Oh damned, Okay, back to you. What was OJ up up to that week?

Right?

Good question?

All right?

Well, I feel like such like a I don't know if a bad neighbor is the right word, but I care a.

Lot about the judge of that.

Okay, That's that's why I'm bringing it to you, guys.

I'm on your side.

Thanks.

So I take really really good care of our yard. That's kind of my job. I hang all the little lights, I take care of all the weeds, I do all of that stuff.

Okay, So this weekend, I'm out in my front yard and.

My neighbor's house. Her front yard looks like that of a trap house. She just let it go. It looks like absolute garbage. And we do have a homeowner's association around here. But I go over and I'm pulling the weeds, and I've noticed one of her weeds grew out of her yard into my front yard and wrapped itself around.

The base of this tree that I have.

Mmm.

I was talking to my parents about this.

My mom was like, gung ho, call the h O way, see if you can do it anonymously.

And my dad was like, don't be that dick.

So I don't know your dad the judge with I was like, don't do that. Not judgmental here.

Well, he was coming at the angle of like if somehow the woman next door was informed that it was me, it could cause a neighbor rift.

Had you considered going in, like cutting it off and whatever?

No, I did.

I pulled it out. I actually did her a favor by pulling it. I went over the property line and pulled it out of her yard. But also side note, have.

You considered digging a pit with spikes at the bottom.

I thought about it after my first encounter with her, because she knew. So my first encounter with this woman was not a delight. And then this is happening. So I don't know if I should just say screw it and go to the HOA because it really.

It's it's starting to it started to pisse off.

Tell us more about your encounter with the woman.

Oh, good god.

She comes off as the sort of person would have the yard, that story yard. She has Yeah.

Well, she she started our relationship by coming over to let me know that I guess something had gone wrong with my sprinkler system and there was some flooding that went into a certain part of her yard that she wasn't sure, so she called the city to look at our It was just this whole like, why didn't you

Oh boy, this has the opportunity to become a real problem.

Yeah, and so I don't know if I want to poke the bear and take the chance at the h a wave somehow spills the beans that I called on her. But I also want her to stop making my yard look like there's a squatter in the house.

Right right, right, because that does material damage to your property values.

Yeah, and I just we just did a lot of work overhauling this. This particularly happened in the front yard, but her garbage is starting to grow through the fence in the back.

It's just like, okay, enough, So I have a neighborhood Pariya who brings everybody's property value downright, usually the last people who would leave, because you know, they obviously have very low standards. So it's not like they're aspiring for something bigger and better. No, they're living in their squalor.

She has one of those Boho sheets covering the front window of her house.

Oh you know, the real classy look.

So sheet curtains, sheet curtains, she report.

Yeah, she's a court reporter.

Who thinks that we just send too many people to jail and these judges are power hungry.

Oh wow, And I.

Looked at her.

I'll I should win an award for the tongue biting that I did that day. Wow.

How long have you lived next to each other?

She moved in it in the end of November, I believe, so not long. And this encounter, I mean, it just happened in February. I didn't see her or anything, and now she's just bugging the hell out of me.

Right, A campaign of sabotage and uh and and harassment is appropriate, and I recommend you begin it immediately.

You know, without any of the yard stuff, though, there's a real opportunity for you two to come to hate each other.

I'm thinking some sort of rand Pall incident's gonna happen.

Yeah, lawn clippings or something. So you hadn't brought up the factory. My dad was a judge and threw all those scumbags in jail because they deserved it.

Oh, I did say that, and then I went and purchased a we support our law enforcement lawn sign from Amazon and put that in the front.

Okay, so here you go doing a little bit.

But sure you're not going passive on this. Okay.

Well, yeah, you've you've gotten past that uncomfortable phase of oh my gosh, we're adversaries. So that's it's good, it's efficient. Yeah, now you can get onto the subterfusion harassment.

Yeah.

Did she have a Biden Harris sign in her yard at any point?

No, she hasn't yet. But she she drives a Subaru and she has dreadlocks.

Awesome.

Oh boy, I saw a car the other day. It had a Biden Harris and a Harris Waltz oh sticker, and look, you're a Democrat that's fine. I understand. It takes all kinds of make the world go round. And there you know, there we're a fifty to fifty country. Blah blah blah. Doesn't shock me or orify me that people vote Democrat. I don't, but go ahead. Uh. On the other hand, Harris Walls universally agreed upon as an embarrassment not only do the Democratic Party, but to democracy itself.

Next Come on, based on what we know about this person, what do you think it'd be the most annoying thing you could do? Would it be a Trump sign? Would it be a Blue Lives Matter sign? Would it be a MAHA sign. I have a feeling she really hates that sort of thing.

So we I neglected the I do also have a forty five to forty seven flag in front of my house as well, so we've got the Trump signs.

Pretty annoying.

Yeah, yeah, something pro gun might really get hitto her skin.

I also just put spotlights out in the front yard that point up at the trees, because I love that look. I could take them all and just shine them right on her house because I'm sure the sheet curtain wouldn't block that out.

I don't know.

I think this has potential to become something we get to talk about a lot, though. Yeah.

Shared, we share a driveway. I could line it with spikes.

You share away, awesome.

Let's let's stay on the high road, all right.

I have a dog. I can collect the droppings leave them.

So you you share a driveway? Is she ever smeared? I don't know. Mashed potatoes on your car and say you drive in, you drive out.

The driveway.

That's why people go in their driveways.

That sort of thing is coming with you and her, which is I'm very excited about.

Well, the good news for that is there is a ring camera that points at the front of my house, so it will all be recorded if anything does take place.

Yes, with a nice A and G logo when it goes.

Viral shirt wearing my shirt.

This is a good setup, Katie for future episodes. I'm sure.

I'm good.

Hey, I'm excited. I'm back here, really enjoying this.

Well, I guess that's it.