But Now I Smell Like a Corpse

But now I smell like a corpse. Well you should have thought of that first. It's one more thing.

I'm strong, and one more thing. Yeah, it's a smell like a corpse.

We actually had a little bit of this on the Armstrong and Getty radio show yesterday when Joe was telling us about the Brazilian butt lift, which is what is that.

You like, take fat from one part of your body and inject it into your butt to make it like bigger and puffier and higher and stuff. Katie making a my god, humanity. Yeah, yeah, is have I interpreted your facial You nailed it.

You nailed it. And then sometimes the the stuff dies on you and you smell like, well, you smell like a dead body because you're declaying, decaying flesh you're carrying. If you will, you will have you will have buzzards circling your head.

I think I think my algorithm is listening to us too, by the way, because I logged into Instagram yesterday and was horrified at a bbl oozing video that just designed to the Yeah, it was right, it was.

The last thing ever.

But on that sort of topic, I know, I'm sorry.

Before we get to that sort of topic, I just quick mention we barely scratch the surface of that New York Times report. I was talking about your smart devices are always listening to you and watching you, and I mean your doorbell is collecting data on you.

But so it's not at all crazy to think that her phone or computer or something hurt us. Talking about this, and the Instagram feed then had information about m correct. Yeah, so that that actually is happening as far as you can tell, Yeah, in one way or another. Yeah, sure seems to be happening.

I mean, there was zero reason for that to show up on my feed yesterday.

And we've all had that experience where like, why did I just get an ad for a vacation to someplace I mentioned to a friend but have never googled in my wife? Yeah, yeah, that sort of thing. So this is I'm a plastic surgeon. I'm one of the top plastic surgeons, and I'd never get these five procedures. And it lists five of your changing the way you look

So in your entire staff. See, they would mock you.

Now I would look better, I know, I would look better.

They'd mock you until they're of the age where they're considering getting a check.

Yeah, we get a little of the turkey neck going yeah, yeah, all right, here are things you don't want to do, according to this doctor. Liquid and I'd never heard of many of these liquid nose jobs. This is when they inject various liquid in your nose to like give you more symmetry, like if your nose is not perfectly symmetrical, or if you got a bump or downturned tip or various things, they can even out your nose by injecting

That's that ought to be at the top of the list.

There, doctor.

I was thinking diarrhea, but I thought that makes.

Diarrhea and blindness, Joe, those are possible. As you say, diarrhea, no matter what I figured.

Yeah, I can't see my way to the toilet and I need to go right now.

Oh my, how unfortunate. Perhaps you shouldn't have gotten a I repigmented.

And this doctor says, I'd suggest just sticking with colored contacts. Who has blue eyes and wants to change him as a blue eyed guy person? I mean, you want You're willing to get needles in the eyes because you wish you didn't have whatever, Katie.

When I was a kid, I had beautiful hazel eyes. They were green and brown. Oh, but just turned brown as I aged. Imagine my disappointment.

I'm sure what age do you think that you noticed they were no longer hazel?

Oh gosh, I don't remember. I think somebody may have pointed it out to me.

And think of how it's affected your life.

Oh, I could have been all sorts of better things than I am right now. Stuff. My wife won't hear it, so I won't make the inevitable joke. But I could have been married to a supermodel, which clearly would have made your life better. Oh, absolutely, judging by what I've seen. Oh yeah, that's the way to be happy. Marry some crazy hot chick who lives for her looks.

Yes, yes, who probably has had bucle fat removal. That's a procedure in which they the fat pads, because we all have them. The fat pads are removed from your cheeks to create a slimmer appearance and accentuate your cheekbone. So these right here on your cheeks, everybody. It's part of the way we're structured.

I need to get rid of mine. Yeah, I got chubby cheeks. I always have since I was a kid.

Well, they can come in different sizes, but we all have them. It's just, you know, for.

Whatever reason, I'm getting mine yank this afternoon. Wait a minute, this guy says, don't yeah, can lead to diarrhea and cheeklessness.

Uh, it just can make you look funny and there's no fixing it. So it goes wrong a lot, as basically as.

All of these things can make you look funny.

Yeah.

True.

I guess the new trend I was reading about this un till I thought, what the hell are you reading about this? The new trend in the Kardashians are blazing away is being honest about plastic surgery, saying yeah, I got the such and such lyft from this doctor and it's great. Don't I look fantastic. It's the era of full disclosure.

They're doing that because they've been lying about it for years and taking all the hell for it.

Ah.

Okay, it's an interesting thing. So I doubt that I would actually do this, but if I got a chintok, I would look better. And if you can make yourself look better with very little risk, why wouldn't you do it because vanity is a sin of some sort or but we do all kinds of other things. I mean, I'm wearing a suit right now to look better. I work out every day to work better to look better. There's all kinds of thing things we do to look better that we accept societally, but getting carved on, which

I'm doing it. Yeah, Well, I can't say you're necessarily wrong.

Well we're old, Katie. I don't know if you've noticed this, but so we've seen this change in our lifetime. Are you actually blonde? Oh yeah, you are actually bond Okay, Well it's a bad example, but it used to be culturally not cool to dye your hair. You'd get mocked. Oh, she's a bottle blonde. Nobody would say that at now,

Uh.

But I wonder if, like you know, the chintuk will go that direction too, where it goes from being looked down upon, mock to just course you did I don't know, maybe a couple of the other ones you shouldn't get done. To wrap this up, browlifts said, it's perfectly fine in the hands of an expert surgeon, an extremely skilled surgeon. Otherwise you don't want to get it done. I'm not you'll have that permanently surprised look. Hey, hey, is this place on fire?

Oh?

Could you imagine you having a brow lift and fixing your RBF in the same week.

You'd be watching everybody.

That is the concern with some of these I don't know, could a chin talks have been around for so long, there's gotta be tons of surgeons that can do them, and you're like almost guaranteed you're gonna be perfectly fine. But some of these you'd really hate to have to come into work with a big giant lump on the side of your nose that never existed before and you can't get rid of now because you went all vanity.

Well, then you got to go jacko. You gotta have surgery to fix that surgery, then some to fix that surgery, and before you know it looking like a freak.

Absolute freak. And cool sculpting, which is fairly popular. It's a designed to target fat. It just says here it does it with acid. They use acid to break down the fat. That's what's whoever came up with the name cool sculpting good idea, because that sounds fantastic. Then when you tell me what it is, We're gonna inject acid into you that's gonna eat away the fat, it doesn't sound as well cool.

But I never heard of that, kittie. Are you familiar with cool sculpting or yeah?

I am, And I actually have a friend that did it and said it hurt like hell, but you know, you saw some results.

I've heard about it a lot. I just didn't know what it was. And now that I've read about it, well, I wasn't gonna do it anyway. But it can go wrong too, And they said, save your money and do LiPo suction if you're going to do one of those LiPo sections smarter than.

Which is reputed to be, you know, one of the more dangerous procedures itself because the danger of infection, but also incredibly common.

LiPo section is incredibly common.

Yeah. Yeah, that's the most common cosmetic procedure. Number two, breast enhancement. It was just reading, since I read all day long about everything that much smaller, more athletic breasts are in the big old boobs. No longer hot plastic. Surgeon's going for the nice mid size models. That's a Corolla, not an escalade. That's another one that's gone Corollas. That's

I think, yeah, yeah, and you're not gonna get mocked. I don't think no, no, no, I don't.

I don't think so, not at all. No. I mean if you go with like giant porn boobs or something.

Like that, then well that makes you a weird I think twice well that makes the thing would be, can you stop at one of these? Because I I know, I mean, I can use my fingers, I can hold back my chin and look in the mirror like that, I look, I look younger and better.

Thought about this a good deal, But do it? Just do it?

I know it'd be good for the show. That's another thing. I thought it'd be a good thing to talk about leading up to it. I could almost certainly get it paid for by some doctor and you know, talk about it there or whatever. Yeah, it'd be great. You got to go for it. But can you stop at one or that's what I wonder, if you just don't open the floodgates of well this could be tweaked a little bit or five years later you want to get it again, because that's what happens.

We didn't.

None of us notice Kenny Rodgers or Dolly Parton or any of those people the first one or two times have got anything done. They just look good for their age, I think. And then usually you start to look like very Manlow or any of these freaks. I mean, you look like a freak, like a circle, like, hey charge a dollar to look at this guy?

Freak right right, although maybe you think about it. Like we're in the middle of a remodel in the house and we've had friends say, look, if you're considering doing anything, do it now. While the house is chaotic and torn up and there's dust and noise. You might as well you get your chin, do your cheeks, get plugs, and you show up after a week's vacation skinny face and the one chin and the flowing hair.

That's funny.

Is count on everybody not to comment on it?

Yeah, I know, kiddie, count on everybody not saying anything about it, right, I can get your glasses.

Well, it's nice, so it looks good on you. There's something I don't know an different that's.

Funny though if you did, if you're just gonna glance at me and say what I was going to get done, you would assume it'd be some sort of hair thing. But that never even crosses my mind. Really.

Yeah, I happen to be watching the news. There's a cutie on the news, because it's all cuties on the news. She had the like super thin, hollowed out cheek thing. That's absolutely obligatory.

That would be the taking the pad.

That's what the pads out does Yeah, Oh, you gotta have that that super skeletal look that although you know, honestly seventy five years ago everybody.

Had that look true because they were hungry.

Well, that was part of it. Gotta stay hungry jack. Huh.

Well, I guess that's it.