But Doc, It Hurts When I Do This!

But Doc, it hurts when I do that. It's one more thing. I'm strong and getty. One more thing. First, I wanted to mention this.

We ran out of time on the radio show to get this news story on the Colorado cake baker one again. Maybe you know his name, if you've been following this story for the past dozen years, Jack Phillips. He's a cake decorator in Lakewood, Colorado. You decide to do that, you like to bake, and you're a little artistic, and you think, you know, I'm not going to change the world here, but it's what I like to do, and I'll be happy with my own little niche in life.

How annoying.

We've spent an entire career poking the bear jabbing the powerful courting controversy and this guy gets, you know, five hundred times more attention because he didn't want to have two dudes on the cake. Because he's a Christian. He he's not down with.

That, right, going back to twenty twelve, twelve years ago, dozen years ago, he wouldn't bake a custom wedding cake for a gay couple, and it became a thing, and it went all the way up to the Supreme Court, and finally, in twenty twenty eighteen, six years later, the Supreme Court ruled narrowly for mister Phillips, finding that they had acted with particular animus toward his faith. So anyway, Katie, at the.

Time we referred to the cake as a gake, a gig.

But he had to think at that time, finally, this nightmare is over. As a guy who just wanted to bake cakes and as a Christian, I don't want to make your cake. And obviously the answer from people like us was go get your kick baked something somewhere else. Why are you gonna make such a big point out of this, He doesn't want to make your cake. Plenty of people, will you know, give him a bad Ye'll preview if you want, and uh, but only pretending to

He says, Hey, I'm Palestinian American. I'm kind of an activist on you know, Israel's being too cruel to my people. I'm gonna say, okay, I can respect that. Thanks anyway, I'm not going to pretend that he's done me some sort of horrific crime.

A joke, Yes, kidny, this.

From the Babylon be millions of gay people die of hunger. Is one bakery in Colorado no longer forced to bake them wedding cakes?

Yeah?

Right, So he thought he was out of the woods, his long national nightmare was over. But no, an attorney, of course it was an attorney called him. Didn't even go into the store a couple of years ago to request another custom cake. This one's celebrating a gender transition. Were not same, Poor baker, I couldn't put into you know, gay had gotten settled, gay marriage's law of the land, everybody, poles had moved whatever. Now you gotta do gender transition.

You think they just remembered that this baker had gone through this once before and said, hey, let's try this guy again.

Well, I think you know, why did they choose the same guy just because they.

Knew he would re publicity.

Yeah, Phillips declined again on religious free exercise grounds. The attorney sued. This is the lawsuit that the Colorado Colorado Supreme Court dismissed this week on grounds that it wasn't filed correctly. So it was really a technicality. But at least for now it is, he's out of the woods.

I assume somebody's picking up his legal costs. God, I hope so, I certainly hope.

So I want that lawyer to be found, taken into custody, perhaps bound, perhaps a force fed cake until he explodes.

And so what if they had won, what would their big victory be? What's your story forcing.

Creative people to exercise their creativity for.

Any cause that you make them.

I mean, it's not It was always used as an example, but it's not exactly like having to sit in the back of the bus, or not allowed to stay in the hotel because you're black, or a variety of other things that you can you don't think of. It's not the same thing. Go over there and get a cake with somebody who doesn't care.

And what bothers me is a free speech advocate of First Amendment advocate is compelled speeches. Every bit is odious as forbidden speech in its own way. And again, you can't force me to write a song saying we should exterminate the Jews.

You can't make me do that. I find it abhorrent.

Now, maybe what this guy finds abhorrent is different than what I find abhorrent. Nonetheless, I'm picturing one of those icing piping things. You stick it down the guy's throat and you just squeezing, squeeze and squeeze. I don't I should be quiet.

Now, That's what I was thinking. If I'm forced to make a cake, I make it taste like foot. That's just the worst tasting cake you've ever had.

Joe's on punishing the lawyer. So you put a funnel in his mouth with sprinkles. So many sprinkles, you're gonna choke on these sprinkles. You on icing, you on custom izing. Here you go. So that lawyer, who again called, wouldn't even bother to go into the store because he knew what he was gonna get out of it, wanted one cake celebrating a gender transition, and also requested a second cake depicting Satan smoking marijuana. Oh, come, on. They were

But this is but they were right. He's wrong, He's completely wrong. Oh God, So there's that.

Got that out of the way, and then, uh, do you know the joke, okatie, It's one of my favorite old timey jokes. Doctor it hurts when I do this, and the doctor says, then don't do that. Okay, fair, it's an easy out.

Then you go home. It's classic.

I'm getting a I'm getting something done today that is going to involve pain, and I'm I've been deciding to I want to talk about it on the air or not. It's one of your more funny things you can get done.

You'll feel better if you do talk about it.

Are you finally transitioning?

Always, always, Michael's role is to say, sure, go ahead and talk about it. I'm not going to for a variety of reasons involving my personal life and kids, but it'd be a funny procedure to talk about it's it's a common procedure. It's it's it's it's it's ripe with humor possibilities.

You could you probably guess getting a third arm.

You could probably guess, if you took like three guesses, you would get I'm not letting I guess, because I'm gonna you're you're gonna guess.

Fair.

We'll respect it.

We'll stick with breast implants.

Yeah, stick with that.

Anyway, it's going to involve pain and uh and some pain management at least for a little while. And I came across this. Almost ninety percent of health care providers surveyed reported that their patients prefer to manage pain without a prescribed opioid. Yeah, but that wasn't true. I don't know however many years ago. Really, this is a testament to just you know, the word getting out. This is a bad idea. It's easy to get hooked. Don't do it.

Yeah, yeah, well, good good.

I'm glad to hear that, you know, speaking of pain, and I I have hesitated to even talk about this because I don't want it to sound like complaining or some sort of request for sympathy. But I'm in pain all the time, and it's sometimes it's pretty bad, but I've learned to deal with it mentally. And I read something who was it, Oh, somebody writing about chronic pain. But there's counseling you can do to change your mindset

This is life. Now I'm going to go about my business. And it works. It's not like you enjoy it or anything, but it's, uh, it's interesting what you can get used to. Yeah, I don't. I'm not afraid of it.

There's no fear because one of the main components of pain is fear, which is the reason it hurts me to get a shot. Everybody every bit as much as it hurts six year old. But the six year old is terrified. Yeah, and I'm just thinking how soon is this over?

And then like if you get a procedure done, the pain usually what's frightening about is like am I about to rip this open or something right, as opposed to if it's it's okay, it's just gonna be here, which isn't pleasant. But I remember there's somebody I knew who had I forget what their pain was, but that like really bad, horrifying pain that they had, and they talked about the psychological thing that they had learned of being able to walk inside the pain like it was a

Okay, so not under or not overrated.

Enough sense, but I'm not gonna talk about but yet. So I need to get frozen piece. I don't have any yet. I don't want to forget, because I'd be a bad thing to forget. Don't forget, I've often wondered, though, not you, because you have actual pain, but even for like people that feel good like me. I'll bet though I've gotten used to certain things that if I could, like go back to being eighteen for a day, I.

Think, oh wow, I didn't realize how bad I felt.

Yeah, I have this fantasy of playing one round of golf as a thirty five year old again, just to get a time machine. I don't want to meet Jesus. I don't want to have lunch with Abraham Lincoln. I just want to play one round of golf as a thirty five year old again.

Not even like a twenty five have lunch with Abraham Lincoln.

I'm gonna hit the links as a young man instead. Also the eating situation, to be younger and eat again. We just eat whatever the.

Hell you want.

What happens you already do? Jack? What are you talking about?

But I pay the price of being not twenty years old. I do eat whatever I want, but just.

To eat and then you're fine. Here you're two minutes later, you still feel great.

I used to be an hour later, sit down and eat a large pizza to myself, Oh yeah, crush that thing, or do you know what?

You know? The inevitable part of every guy's golf trip is you go out for steaks, you know, three out of four of them, that is what you do, or, in the case of the one I'm going to do next week, you cook him at home.

But I used to be.

Able to hammer down a hunk of meat the size of a house cat.

I mean it was. I enjoyed the last bite as much as the first. Now I feel like a little lady. I'll take the petit philet. Oh, go ahead and get the New York strip, and I take half.

Of it home.

Do you get mocked by your friends? I don't know, because they're old.

Who lady, Lady, Lady's like a very mockable thing. You get the tiny little does your husband order steak?

I mean, come on, So I was rooming with another guy in this last trip. I took it, and I was putting a steak in the fridge in the hotel room. I said, what percentage of the time do hotel room fridge steaks actually get consumed? The next morning?

He said zero? Yeah, fair enough.

I forgot it was even in there, very sellable. There's the forgetting. Then there's a realizing I don't have any of you utensils necessary to eat a steak, even though I've got this really great, expensive steak here. So sometimes I have been in my hotel room holding the steak in my hand like an apple eating holes.

That's going to say, it's just.

Wasted forks at the end of your arms. They're called hands.

Oh that needs to be on a T shirt.

That may be the greatest saying ever. Katie, Well, I guess that's it.

That's pretty funny, ah,