#6 Anneke Lucas with Kaya John

Hello and welcome to this podcast episode. I'm Annika Lucas and I um We are here on location in Pennsylvania and obviously once again as you can see the quality of this film is very beautiful and I want to thank Abita for being here with us. Obviously this is um w very well done, professional and At this point this is still coming out of my own pocket. Although I do wanna thank you um profoundly for all the support that has been uh coming my way.

Every little bit helps. So if you can just give a little bit or if you feel very inspired, give generously. It's very important. I want to keep doing this. I want to keep interviewing people who have things to say. That are maybe They may be unconventional, but they speak truths, and I want to bring that in this way where we have both the space. there's nothing sensational about anything that I do, but at the same time, um, there's room for

everything that needs to be said. So um without further ado, uh we are

I am here with uh someone I know and and love very much. This is Kaya and um Kaya is doing her first interview today. speaking about things, uh very difficult things, very courageously for the first time. Now she did a little shoot for fifty voices, which is a project that you should absolut absolutely check out. It is uh fifty voices of ritual abuse and you can find it on fiftyvoices.org. Um Kaya as well as myself are two of the fifty voices that are being featured there. So

Well I'm going to turn to you, Kayf. Uh thank you, thank you, thank you for being here. Thank you, Honor. It's my pleasure, it's my honor. I'm so glad to be here to see your home, to have you have this conver have this opportunity to have our time together. So of course we know each other. We've also met before, uh in person. And I want to just

To start, I just want to begin by just you know, anything you'd like to say about, you know, m your story. First I just wanted to thank you as as I have for an opportunity to speak about what I kept secret from myself for so long. And what the world has kept secret and now what we are starting to speak about. And also for the other experiences of abuse I had as a child that no one ever wanted to hear about.

So it's quite a journey for me to come from there to here to where I actually get to share publicly and be part of the healing for all of us that have been through this. And ultimately for the planet, because the planet has to heal this before we can all move on to a kinder world.

It's beautifully said. So actually I wanted the touchstone for me to start this is actually becoming aware of you. Which changed my life. And I was fortunate um my friend Martha sent me the collective evolution interview with you which was quite thorough and quite lengthy and quite beautiful. I think it was like four to five hours and I watched it four to five times. And at that time Consciously I didn't really know much about SRA. But I was riveted by your story.

And I had to keep watching it again and again. At the time, consciously, I was very impressed by your knowledge. of the world as we know it. and how things weren't as they seem. And how so much of the misinformation and corruptness It's connected the educational system, the medical system, politics, religion, entertainment, all of it. Is keeping us asleep, keeping us sick. keeping us from our true inner self, and keeping us from each other so that we can heal.

And when I saw you, I knew I had to get to you. It was one of the strongest feelings I ever experienced in my life. So when I finished watching it I went on the internet and I remember when I put your name in and your website came up, of course it's Work With Me. And it was such an instant relief. 'Cause it was like this woman has to talk to me. I have to talk to this woman. And that even in your title of your website you were telling me that I could. Mm-hmm I didn't have to worry anymore.

And I think there were very deep parts of me that knew I didn't have to worry anymore. So thank you.

I just kind of want to go through a little bit of my personal history. This will eventually lead us to the SRA. I completely broke down when I was twenty one years old. I couldn't function. I at that time had actually married for the first time and I had left home. And I think leaving home where I was finally away from everything and safer, I just broke down. And I started to see a wonderful woman by the name of Jacqueline. Who really helped me save my life.

And at that time, what I knew was that I had grown up with a schizophrenic and psychotic mother. And an extremely hard and angry and cold father. My father stopped speaking to me at a pretty young age, wouldn't even acknowledge when I walked through the room. Whereas my mother Scream at me. sometimes completely incoherently for up to five hours at a time. And I watched her Her eyes when completely So she became pretty terrifying to live with.

And my father worked at nights, so I hardly ever saw my father. I only saw him on the weekends. So it was my mom and I in this house. And she also was in a state of complete breakdown. She needed me to even go into the bathroom with her. I had to help her cross the road. She couldn't function at all. How old are you then? Twenty one? This was all happening when you were twenty one? No, as a teenager. Wow. As a teenager. Um, she would sit in the kitchen and just talk to herself for hours.

Um it was bad. So that's all I knew at that point when I broke down, but that was enough.

Um, unfortunately, um, even though the therapy I was getting was really cutting edge at the time, I actually did have my first rape memory come up of my father raping me. But my therapist dismissed it as fantasy.

Um, but I did have memories starting to come up at that point. And then also I had a memory, and this actually wasn't in a session, it was at home where I had the first memory of my brother standing above me in the crib and I saw that he was holding something, something that seemed shiny. And before long it was up me. So at that point I actually told my therapist that I had this memory. And for me this was mind-blowing that I would have this memory.

But at the time she basically said to me, Well, you can let this upset you, or you can get on with your life. So I decided to get on with my life, which seemed like the correct answer in the way that you put it.

So basically at that point I stopped therapy and um I'd already had addiction issues with alcohol and Mostly marijuana. Luckily there wasn't too much of anything, much harder. But those two things I was dependent on. But at that point I could say I embraced them more than ever. But at that point I was at least functioning some. At that point I could work again. I put myself through college. I started to counsel other people, lead growth groups. So enough of me had come back.

that I could start to have a life. Um I eventually moved into an ashram. Where I joined an incest group. So started to get myself some more support. And doing the yoga was very important because it started to put me back in my body. And I was pretty far out of my body. And I also had a few more memories come up.

in the yoga. You used to have a hard time um being able to take deep breaths, which of course we're always telling you to do. And I had a memory of once again being in the crib and my brother coming by and just punching me as hard as he could in the stomach. And just to be clear, your brother was ten years older than you. Yes. He was ten years older than me and he was also very large. He was obese.

there was although eventually other memories come up with my brother where there was a lot more abuse, um, spinning me around so I spinned in the walls and so He was kind of taking out a lot of stuff on me throughout the years. Um When I was living at the ashram I transferred ashrams quickly, which shook me up.

I think it shook up my defenses. So how old were you when you went to live in the ashram, just to be clear? I just turned thirty one. Okay, so'cause you were talking yoga and so so this is where you went to the incest group is at at the ashram. Okay. Yeah.

So when I moved back About a day later I came to visit my father, because I was now living near my father again before I had moved away. And when I came back I still remember I went into the twist. And I just had a very clear knowing come over me of your father incested you too. And at this point there was no doubt. It was a knowing. And actually some years later I actually was writing in a journal and I basically just said to God, Why am I like this? 'Cause at this point, I had a good life.

But there were still parts of me that were seriously dysfunctional and I knew it. I used to say it was like a car with three wheels and one flat. Mm. One was going. And I knew there was something still really wrong. So I came down and I wrote that in my journal and then it took about three or four hours. I just laid and I started to remember my father raping me. And I was very young. And I remember my head banging against the floor.

And it was very painful within my body, like so much nausea to remember that and so much body ache and so much body pain. And it took hours for all the feelings to emerge.

And my father was still alive at that point. And I actually did Confront him about it. And it was a very funny thing that happened because. One of the things that did happen is my father transferred this house to us. But it took me about ten years for him to finally agree to do it. And you can imagine how many conversations and So somehow within the same conversation where I confronted my father about the rape, he said I never touched you.

And then in the same conversation he said to me, I signed the house over to you the first time you asked me. So I knew that he could not tell the truth. So it's kind of like it was so obvious that he lied about the house. I'm sure he's lying about that also.

So, my brother and I always had a very strained relationship. Basically, we didn't have any relationship. And he left the house. at eighteen, so I was only eight. He moved to actually another country to go to college and then moved to the other side of the country. So there was very little contact with him for many years. Amen. Okay. And then my mom died. And I remember sitting on the sofa.

at the luncheon, you know, people came here after she died. And I tuned in and I realized that my brother and I vibrated very similarly, which was very surprising. Cause he was very much a very serious born-again Christian. And I was not. But I found that we actually started to like each other. And we started to have a relationship. We started to spend time together. But yet there was always A discomfort, an uneasiness, and I always used to see something in his eyes.

That told me that there was something more. And I think he was almost always wondering if I would ever remember. Yeah. I think he did because he was much older. So when I started to work with you, I knew that I needed to work with you, but at that time I only had incest memories. So we worked with that for a while. That was certainly enough to keep us busy. was also quite extreme. Yeah. Violence. No. So then my brother passed on. Remember. Um Maybe four to six months within our therapy?

And then within about a month or two After he passed on. Much more serious memories started to, as if, you know, but much more serious memories started to rise. And I feel that it was just too hard to remember with my brother here. There is too much humiliation between he and I. And sometimes I just feel that it was S was just safer. Mm-hmm. So at this point they were all gone. It was just me. Exactly. And I could start to tell my story.

So for me, the first memory came up. Most of my memories came up as I was waking up. So I was awake. But it was kind of before you started to put the defenses on for the day. It's an amazing process'cause it is, it's just like a floating up, and all of a sudden it's just like a quiet presenting of like oh And sometimes they would come up in meditation or after meditation, whenever there would be a chance for the normal egoic mind to quiet, and I would be in stillness. And the first Memory.

My family used to have pizza parties. My father used to make a great pizza. And we would go over to my aunts who lived nearby, and their neighborhood friends would come and my father would make pizza for everyone. And I was taken over and I was put to bed upstairs. Well, the first memory that floated up was was a man standing by the door of the bedroom. And then the full weight. of what it implied. And wanted then I knew. Yeah. Is that men were being sent to my room? How old were you then?

Somewhere around then. A child. And it felt as if there was A number of men throughout the night And it was very painful and it was very terrifying.

And one of the things that we talked about is that Lucky for me I was always able to Touch the spirit world? So as much as part of me knew what was happening to my body, there are parts of me that could seek solace and Shall we say higher light worlds? Mm-hmm. So that some of the impact of what was happening to my body was at least Reduced. And some of the turn. It could be... The word that's coming to me is control, but maybe that's not the best word.

Comforted. You were receiving help. I was receiving help.

Which I'm very grateful for. So we got you received I mean I got the same and and um and we've talked about this quite a bit because we just get You know, there's our karma, whatever what we come in with, you know, what needs to happen. And I found that If sometimes an experience I was completely helped.

And so there's really not much of that experience that I needed to heal from because I was i it w never really affected me very deeply because I was I had to witness it obviously and but I but I got so much spiritual help that most of it was tak most of the suffering was taken away and that um it was just as an adult to cognize it and to f have the feelings for the child. Then other times though,

I wouldn't ha get any understanding at all. So then because then it was meant for me to go through the experience of the healing and the searching. to learn something. Um so, you know, whatever is needed and and and this sounds can sound really like a bypass for a lot of people that, you know, you get what you need. Um, if you heal, you're in um that space where you meet these tests.

and you get the opportunity at least to meet those tests and to not bypass in fact, but to go exactly through what you need to go through to h to grow and to to expand, which i I I Although I felt that when you when you speak and when you spoke when you were a little child, you were so pure. Thank you. Thank you. The pictures I have of myself when I was a child. Surprised me. Because there is such a spiritual light in my eyes. And the purity and a beauty. Which I felt shut down in a lot of ways.

And that my face became a little contorted. Of course. How could it not? How could it not? Yeah. But I I would like to say that I really feel that the spiritual help that I received Contributed a lot. to my not completely Breaking down. Of course. And that enough of me. was able to Well, two things. Psychologically 'I could have been In a lot worse shape.

to the point where I might not have survived psychologically or even physically. For sure. And that also I feel I have been able to retain a capacity for joy and love. that I'm extremely grateful for. and that even with all of the pain I have been able to celebrate life and create really good things for myself. Yeah. And I really do feel that's because I always was able to stay

Connected to God. Absolutely. And as much as whatever my own karma was that I needed to go through this, and also just to experience what's happening here on the planet so that I could eventually be part of its healing is an important part of my story.

Absolutely. Yes. And you know, we're already speaking about karma of course and I brought it up but you know, again, uh For a long time I karma was difficult for me to th think about because I used it to to to to feed my guilt complex, you could say. Which is not what it is. You know, and then on the other hand it's just the reality, it's just cause and effect and there you are. But it doesn't mean that you've been so bad in the past because of course, you know, our

Um indoctrination is that we're evil, right? Yes. As the victims. We're the evil ones that deserve everything that's coming to us. So that was the The guild complex really did a number on me in terms of the concept of karma, which even though it was said over and over again, it it's like really it's who knows how yes, ex when this was accumulated or but I I'm glad that you added this

um being part of the solution is also um you know coming at this time and witnessing and then speaking out that that is also your your role part of your role and that is also a really beautiful and positive thing and thank you. It requires a lot of strength also. Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, so that was your first memory. That was my first memory. And um Was it basically the sex trafficking that happened at your aunt's, you say? Yeah. It was really shocking. Um the second big memory came up. I was in my parents' bed in the place that we lived before we moved here. So I had to be no older than three. And I became aware that I was being held by my mother and my father.

And that my mother was saying things to me like, It's okay, you'll be alright. Everything's gonna be alright. It's gonna be okay. You can do this. Everything's okay. I feel that there is other people in the room. I feel as if I can see some of my family. I can see bright lights. This is years ago. Where people hold lights above. I see those lights. And then I see someone come in the room. So I was being used in child pornography.

Your parents are literally holding you down? Yes. In kind of a nice way. Well, I wouldn't call it nice, but yeah. I'm not moving, but I'm being comforted. So by the way, something a lot of survivors speak about, not usually by the father, but the mother having that role, um, you know, of both

Pushing the children into this but then at the same time being there when it's hard and comforting them. Quite a few women in the network seem to have such a role. I've heard other people speak of it in your interview. Yeah. Yeah. So but there's both your parents doing that. Yeah. Though I feel my energy is with my mother. But she's the one speaking. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So once again I'm very young. So there's tremendous amount of pain and terror and overwhelm. Just overwhelm.

I mean, at such a young age and then this impossible, confusing situation where you're being extremely ver extremely physically hurt. Yes. Um but having your mother comforting you but also whispering that it's gonna be okay when it's uh in the moment that it's that you're being violated. I mean it's so how could you not be overwhelmed is completely Nothing's real anymore. Yeah. And three years old, not even. Yeah. Very young. Very um.

So I th I think there's a part of me that really started split off. Of course. At that point. Really went into hiding. Really couldn't I don't know why this is coming up, but my mother actually took me to doctors because I was bow legged. My little body was harmed so much.

Now one thing I wanted to say, I did say earlier is that I really wasn't familiar with SRA on the conscious level. It's not like I was someone who had read books. So when these memories started to come up I would present them to you. And you would help me understand. 'Cause at least on the conscious mind I really didn't know such things existed. And you would help fill me in. And you would explain to me that this was SRA.

The first memory Was being inside a Pentagon? Is that the right shape? Um a pentagon. Yeah. Yeah. With my father. And his eyes turned red. And then his whole body did. I watched him turn into a devil. And he was having sex with me. Do you know where that was? I do. In the lower levels. Church. Gotcha. So when you say that you saw your father's eyes and then his whole body turned red and him transforming into a devil, do you feel that you were in touch with the

with the other realm and that he was being taken over by a demon or something like that and that you were seeing the energy? Yes, I do. Yes, I do. And at this point I truly had never read any other accounts of this. So I was pretty blown away. And how scary. It's terrifying. Your father. Yeah. Yes. Were there other people there? Yes. Most definitely. Definitely a public experience. And do you know about how old you are then?

Once again young young once again maybe the same age s somewhere eight, so around eight, nine, seven, aware of these things.

I have a lot of experiences being on an altar. big marble white altar. Um a lot of sexual experiences. A lot of people. A lot of different people. I have one uh where I'm kind of at the end of the altar and I'm naked and I'm straddled and it just feels as if one person after another comes and has oral sex with me. Again. I didn't know such things existed, that such things were even done. Very organized, lots of people you say. Like how many people were there? Twenty to thirty?

And were there you know, so it wa was it a ritual? Was it were there other things happening that you may know you were very young, I'm just I had one memory that took me a while to Let all the way in. where I was aware that there was a group of people surrounding an animal. And that the animal was being hurt? Amen. And eventually after a few times of returning to it I was able to see that there was a dog So I know that there were Other beings being hurt?

The worst for me? But that explains so much to me about myself? was that I eventually became aware that I had been Impregnated. several times and that the child was taken from me early. Did you know that you were pregnant? I don't know, to tell you the truth. I know that I was kept out of school for up to eighty days a year. Thank you. And I was always sick. I used to just um gag. And wretch all day. Mm, that's what happens when you get pregnant sometimes.

And I was made to take my own child's life. And I went through this twice. And then worst of all, I was made to Eat some of the flesh. Which I also think added to the gagging and the retching. I believe I went through this process twice and the third time I beg the child to miscarriage. And it feels like that's what happened.

I also feel like this became the breaking point. A breaking point for my mother. I also feel that there may have been threats against my own mother's life. to make me do what I had to do. And that this is where my mother's Broke down. Where she lost her mind. She lost her mind. I knew the beautiful and loving part of my mother. It existed. And my father too, not as much. There is a very, very beautiful part of my mother.

And I loved her deeply. And I know that she loved me. And I know that my father loved me too. There was love. It was palpable. But was completely covered by the insanity. Although you do have a feeling that it their let's say weakness, quote, you know, as the perpetrators call it, of loving you may have had something to do with your escape eventually. I think so.

they paid terrifically. I remember being taken out of school and being taken to my uncle's house, who was our doctor, who I feel was very involved in all of it. 'Cause that's one of the points. My uncle was my doctor, so no one outside of the family ever saw me. And I was told that my mother wasn't doing too well. And that she was going to be going on Tranquilizers.

And that's where it all began. And then my mother being my mother, throughout the years would suddenly decide I'm not taking these anymore. And I can understand not wanting to do that but that would cause an instant psychotic break. Which would then be taken out on me. And then we were completely shunned by the family, we were completely shunned by the family. No one wanted anything to do with us, so I think that we were just completely exiled. And you too. And me too. Oh yes, me too.

But at this point the two of them went in a complete breakdown. My father became a complete cripple. Amen. He was diagnosed with MS. And there I was. You have these memories from what you say is a castle church, so there's these other people that are involved, so there's a group. that your parents or your uncle was very involved and then your parents tangentially but with you in the bargain and then your parents somehow losing touch and then getting ejected. But meanwhile

Um were you taken other places? Like, you know, did it stay on the local level or were you also? I've had recall Of being um with uh entertainers. Uh famous entertainers. Where I Had sex with Remember I used with you the word I was a spectacle. That's the way it felt. But you were a child? I was very young. Yes. This is all before.

So when you say very young, how old were you? Once again, it all feels like it's this um eight. Yeah, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. Okay, so you're a young child. Yeah. And this is happening It's not really in public public but it is there are other people around that don't care. Well, they're being entertained by it. They're being entertained by it. Yeah. And I feel there's a lot maybe around eleven, twelve. I think that we pretty much were out by the time I was about thirteen.

At the time I was thirteen and I feel like I have memories of being fourteen and feeling like I had a whole new life. Wow, that's a lot to go through before you reach the age of fourteen. True. So there is this Do you have an idea of the country that this happened with the famous entertainer? And it might be worth noting at this point that Part of I think my connection with all this is that I have um British royal blood. And my father was a baron and Um, I'm pretty high up on the hierarchy.

When you say your father was a baron, but he was not rich at all. No, he was not. It was uh just a hereditary. I see. Okay. So he had inherited the the the title? Yes. Yes. Yes. So that was part of the connection and I believe part of why I was singled out for so much. Yes. You've remembered a lot of things. And even those you know, those those those people, no mind control particularly, right?

Not that I remember. I feel that I was scared within an inch of my life to never tell, but I don't feel like I was trained to do anything or anything like that where some people have gone through that.

Well, one thing that you had shared with me that you had remembered Seemed like there was a very important person, you know, very famous, very important, very important in the network as well, that you were to greet, and then something happened there. It's almost like this person decided Like first took an interest and then re you know, do you do you want to talk about that?

Just that someone else came in and helped me Yes, but first there was an in this very important person took an interest in you, correct? That's this network. Giant, what's it let's say with a lot of say over what happens to children. I'm pulling a blank right now, I'm sorry. Okay.

Well, I'm assuming that you don't really want to name anyone, so it's okay, you know. But I think you what I remember you sharing was that you were about maybe four years old. It was in England. You were being introduced. Are we when I was brought into the room? Yeah. I was brought into the room. I was kicked in the face. Yes. That was about as high as you could get.

Right. But you weren't just immediately kicked in the face. First there was an interaction, correct? Yes there was. Yes there was. That's what I'm Okay. Yes there was. I feel as if I was being shown around. I was being Shown off? And certainly being Gotten to know? And that the other person was showing off a bit, shall we say? Letting me know how important he was and how lucky I was. And then I was eventually Taken into a darkened room where someone was sitting on a throne.

And I was brought up And then I was kicked. Quite a few times. And you had no idea why? What happened? Yeah. No, you're too young. Yeah. Why would that ever happen? Yeah. And that other person that felt that you were so lucky, w was there anything there that to get any clues? That would what? That would give you any clues to what had just happened? See, this is why I wanted you um to interview you is because you're so honest, you know.

We have these memories and it's like going to investigate our own mind and our own subconscious and our memories and if it's true then you know, it'll come about. You know, we either have this knowing, like you called it, or um, it explains so much, you know, because none of these memories live in the same part of the brain than regular memories do, so it's all

So intangential, you know. Yeah. And of course there's no proof, physical proof. There's enough proof though. But in that process proof comes

One of the things that I did want to talk about is that the defense systems that came out of what I went through. First off growing up I always said I hated dogs. Dogs are stupid. I don't want a dog. Keep dogs away from me. I don't want a dog. I hate dogs. I hate babies. You can ask anyone from high school on. I'm never having a baby. I hate babies. No, I don't want to hold a baby. No, I don't want anything to do with baby. More sorry.

Which by the way, I had these reactions too when I was much younger. I thought I didn't like cats, even we'd had them when I was young, but when I thought And the same with um babies. I felt uncomfortable around babies, let's say. I was kind of known For I'm never having a child. I do not like babies. Having babies is stupid.

So I know that you don't hate babies at all and that you don't think that we had to so can you talk a little bit about that process of Yeah, sure. Well, first I'll talk about dogs. Yeah. I have a dog. Yeah. And I'm very grateful that I was able to heal enough to have a dog'cause I love dogs. I really love dogs. And I'm so glad that I didn't have to give that up. Dogs have such beautiful love and they're so exuberant and enthusiastic and fun and gorgeous.

And babies. Babies is still a process. Babies, I feel a strong longing. It's still a great grief. And almost as if there's still deep emotion to be felt. And the strong dislike is long gone. Long gone. So now it's kind of at this kind of poignant stage. I feel like It's something I really missed. And like I feel like I'm a person who has a lot of love to give. Yeah. And I probably would have been a really good mum.

So I'm glad that it is at least in the healing process and that those parts of me are no longer in reaction and shut down. And I can at least have a dog. Well, what you described is so beyond um, you know, the capacity for most people to comprehend. Again, thank you for being so honest, you know, that this is still in process. It's not all over, you still can sense where you were at, that there's still some deep grief that hasn't been felt over this and then of course. Yeah. Um

Yeah. And then and good for you, you know, for then not having children and um and healing all the same and going there, daring to go there. Yeah.

Yeah. Because um okay, so you brought up the fact that you were forced to eat that flesh and um you know, this is something I was also forced to do. And um I was also extremely drugged. I don't know if you were. I feel as if I was. I feel as if I was. I feel I have a lot of memories of being very out of it and a lot of feelings of nausea. Headaches. It just feels like that was just

typical. Yeah, so the state a drug its drug state, um I was given up burst because this was um an orgy the frenzy. Frenzy um context. But when I had when I went to finally the the the nausea of the pret specific memory of uh taking the flesh which was warm, it was not cold, and how tender the flesh was when I had that memory specifically and um all the the the wretching, um, the sickness connected to mem r remembering that

it actually resolved a lot of my f my eating disorder s things. Like I could never really fully diagnosed like this is that. But I had a lot of issues with food and I still do. But th it just changed very dramatically once I came to that memory.

Well, I certainly have had food issues. Um Which for a while seemed pretty resolved. Um But then I had another experience. as an adult I had a medical procedure. And I don't want to go into too many details, just what's extremely relevant. And once again Kinda goes under the category of why and how would I ever make this up? Exactly. Of actually being Awakened, brought out of the anesthesia, And actually I should mention that I'd actually recalled some of the procedure years back when I was

under anesthesia, but in meditation. Because of course there's other parts of the the conscious mind is quieted, but Oh the body certainly knows what's going on. So I had recalled the operation itself. But this was actually being brought out of the anesthesia. and made to eat my own flesh. So the doctor? Yes. Like I I remember that you told me there was a lot that was very strange with how this came to be this particular doctor

That did the procedure, correct? Yes. Well, I had actually canceled the operation. I was going to go with a different doctor. And he kept me on the phone for over an hour telling me I needed to do it with him. Sh and then I actually found out that he was even away, but came up just to do this operation. Right. And I even had a nurse say to me after the operation, so who are you?

That he would do this. Yeah. So I was made to do this and my body was also extremely compromised so that I was left lame. Yeah. And very bloated. And I eventually started to get uh physical therapy. by someone who knew the doctor. And when she examined me for the first time, she looked at me and she goes, He killed you. So there is a lot of strangeness around the operation.

And since that time, I haven't been able to stop eating. I'm gonna talk about this now because I Amen. When I had that memory I started to understand Yes. And You know, this may sound strange, but um s certain famous people Uh some I'm thinking of one person in particular was named by a friend of mine, Survivor um, that had been at a ritual

where this had also happened. Okay. So then I know that this person, yes, has been famous for decades and, you know, and so overweight And it's like it's almost like I see in his like extreme obesity and still famous, still getting lead roles, um this same um reaction like if you're not a s complete psychopath, is I know I have heard also again through other survivors

um who were very uh telling me this from the state of the th l little girl that's extremely attached to these perpetrators. Um the the that it is uh almost a religious experience for the perpetrators. The closest they get to feeling connected to others in this And uh o everyone is high also on drugs, but it d that frenzy that is created becomes like um And all all in this id with the idea of course of the exclusivity.

Phew. And that includes of course that the the the the child, a human being, is not as worthy, but at the same time with a belief that the soul will transmute anyway, so it doesn't matter, like justifying killing b uh through the belief that it's a soul.

Just could be okay. And I guess they will be, you know. I really learned because from this survivor who was speaking from a part that's completely loving of the perpetrator and with the perpetrator and speaking from that par from that attachment place um explaining what goes on in the perpetrators' minds in that moment. Um which makes sense. Um it it it makes sense, I mean it makes no sense at all to anyone who has any kind of feeling in their their body.

But not everyone in these groups are psychopaths and I think when you have to work so hard to cut off your feelings and then have to participate in these things and it's always this choice, you know. Am I gonna be killed or my f loved ones are gonna be killed and and I and I and I stop. It's like you can't stop anymore and for many it must be a they're so far in and then they there's their f there's their fame or whatever, but there's also not like you can just go and leave. No.

that I don't think they really want maybe do this either, but then these are reactions their reactions. I mean some of these people that I know are involved. They look I mean some look really good. Like they're probably completely psychopathic that, you know, that they feel better by it. They have these beliefs around it and everything. I don't know. But then there's these people who just seem to have that same compulsion to just keep eating to forget what they've been eating. Yes, exactly.

That's what it was for me. Yeah. Yeah. So obviously thank you for, you know, telling that and um broaching this, you know, extremely difficult subject. You know, and so unbelievable to many cannibalism, but it is a reality of our experience, so we can't just ignore it and, you know. It's again in my experience being interviewed, people are either

so sensitive that I feel I can barely say anything or they're sensationalist, which means that they wanna hear everything, especially those things. Um, so so just wanna have this container where we can where we can speak and say these difficult truths, but with not insensitively and not um sensational, that's all. And um So the experience the last experience that you related

you know, i it it made it clear you were an adult. So now we're seeing that even though at fourteen years old you had this feeling that now you're starting a new life However, it seemed that there was you were being controlled on some level, that there were people from the network around you.

Um, that and that obviously this was a very strange thing to happen, but you know, strange things do happen in a network in terms of making sure that You know, giving messages in in in in however grotesque manner, but it's a message. you know, were you starting to remember things or is there anything that you can think of that might have led up to this to make sure that you would

Because you said you would actually resolve things, you didn't have food issues, and then that happened. And then that happened. Um Well I hadn't lived in this particular area for quite a while. And I met my husband in the ashram and then we moved back to my this area to help take care of my dad. And at that point I met A new group of people. And one of the people It's from the family of the network. And that person um became very close to me for quite a number of years.

And I feel at that point I karmically Stumbled? a little bit into the It seemed so I f feel that what happened to me with the medical procedure could be part of all that, once again in the same area. But when when you say that you stumbled into the network again, it wasn't anything like before. Oh no no, just h having people around me again from it. But aside from the medical procedure

nothing else being done to me. So you were not being invited as a perpetrator? No. But were they watching you? I feel like they were watching me. And the person who became close to me, I feel every so often would present something to me that I think she was trying to jog my memory or see if I remembered anything. Which at the time I didn't, but I remembered every time she said

Or showed me something. Once you had the memory, then you remembered her saying that and you realize that she was trying to see if you remembered. Yes. So they were making sure you were not remembering. Yes. That's what it feels like. Which is very interesting because I've been infiltrated in the last years. um by the family of a prominent perpetrator.

and who apparently I found out have their own secret service. Um and um so the people that were approaching me they did um similar things. They would bring up things And I could just sense there was something strange about it. Yes. And then it was to see if I remembered or not. Except that they had similar training than me, so I kind of also rem

that, you know, I f fell for it. Ah. Yeah, I did. I sure did. Because then no my blind spots better than I do because and I also learned from that that they have extremely clear, extremely precise records of everything that was ever done to me. More than fifty years ago. Wow. Yeah. I learned that from these experiences of these people that, you know, suddenly came into my life and um you know, try to think find things out from me. Yeah. Yeah. While I was already public, of course, just it just

try to do damage control. So um or to threaten me, that was also part of it. So you're saying that similar tactics were deployed on you from this local group you could say. Yeah. And anything about That experience that you could think of why that was done to you. In the pr No? From what happened in the in in uh after the procedure. Just that they decided to this is what they do. They decide to have another go at me. Yeah, make sure that I That you know? I kept quiet. That you kept quiet?

And yes, here we are. Yeah, here we are. So again, thank you for your courage. Thank you. And you are still in the same area, so great courage. Thank you. It's all about healing. For everyone.

Yes. And there's one thing that I would like you to speak about if you don't mind. Has having to do with healing. Um that and that has to do with um John Lennon. Um the Beatles. In particular, John Lennon. Thank you. Became a really important part of my survival and healing and spiritual awareness. Um, I was very young when the famous Ed Sulvan show came on and I kinda had a um connection to John.

Um The lyrics to their songs John George John'cause he was so willing to share and reveal his own pain. Whereas no one else was telling me who they really were. He was willing to reveal who he really was. And he always had such a um Connection. To everyone. Shh. And as he matured And was willing to face his own psychological pain. I really found a lot of strength to face my own. The lyrics also to a lot of George's songs are very spiritual. And I felt that they really were my

awakening to spirituality. And of course, you know, they they brought in the whole Eastern religion and yoga, and that's where I found out about it. And that became such an important part of my life and my healing. And unfortunately, um a lot of my mother's abuse was done in the name of Jesus. So there was quite a few years there where I really couldn't connect with Jesus. Um that's healed now. That's fine.

When I was able to separate the abuse, realize it was just what my mother was going through. But um And also just the incredible amount of energy and joy within the Beatle music. Especially when I was really young, offset so much of the pain that I was going through. And just let me know that life could be good, life could be joyful, and that I could have that too. 哇

Yeah, music and their music particularly. And it I went through the same I mean, I I went through a very difficult time in my healing where I was only listening to Beatles because it was the only the only thing that could That just what you described, you know, the I could relate especially to John also. And then of course same also to George. But but then at the same time there are these questions, right? Because there's some very questionable I mean, anyone who has been

Propped up so big and so there's there's the questions but really there's some very questionable photos. Yes there is. So it seems very possible that ultimately they were part of it. But I think that... Their souls were also bigger than it. And that within their framework They did as much good as they possibly could.

That's beautiful. Yes, and you started to talk about spirituality and I wanted to ask you, um You know, if there's anything you'd really like to say, you know, about that more than what we have. Well, just that the work that we're doing and the work that you're doing. I really I really came here to this planet. I had a very strong kundalini experience within the ashram.

Once again, having only been there a few days, so once again I didn't even know what the word kundalini meant. But I was actually doing a little bit of therapy work with someone in front of our entire group of about thirty people. And suddenly I started to feel a bit of sensation in my back. Um, like a s very serious elect electric current. And um my arms were lifted up like this, and I embraced the entire group.

And basically just started to talk about how that we were souls that incarnated on this planet at this time to bring love and to make a better world. And the energy very much affected um the group. Before long I looked out and everybody was hugging each other and in puppy piles and just this beautiful energy attacking. What a great word. And uh before long they actually picked me up. And carried me around the room. Like this. So I feel that my incarnation, my mission.

But that revealing the horrors that are happening and still very much happening and in some ways getting a lot more blatant. It's pretty much taken over the entertainment business in my opinion. We have to face and heal. And that the work we did today and that the work that you're doing. is very prominent and I really feel you're leading the way. And I love you very much. And I thank you so much. Oh. I love you too. And we'll make this world a better place. It's coming.

But there's some nasty stuff that has to be dealt with. Real nasty. Yes, what's blatant is That there seems to be zero decency in the entertainment industry anymore. Yeah. Um or w and that we are being ridiculed. Yes. It's part of what we have to go through. And there's a big campaign right now. Means that we must have um reached some people because there's a big campaign before we were ignored.

But now we're in a phase where we're being ridiculed. But thank you for being there, for us being there together, you know, I feel from as soon as we started speaking, which was I guess in twenty eighteen, five years ago. I just, you know, feel like I recognize you as a sister, you know, in spirit. And so you feel the same way. Very happy to be walking this journey together with you. Thank you so much. Okay. Thank you so much. Yeah, very beautiful. Thank you, Kaya. Thank you, Annika.