Episode 79: Ft. Kreesha Turner

who has kids, how and you break up? How do you break up with the kids? Do you still keep in touch or do you have to cut off contact? What's your tip your advice for that. That's a hard one. I've actually experienced that, And just because the kid was young enough that I didn't necessarily think that they remember me if I kind of detached immediately, low and behold.

Like two years later, this girl, a little girl was that my autograph signing, and she was so excited to see me from my from an ex relationship, and she came with her grandparents and they came to see me. So it doesn't always actually work out the wa that you planed. She wasn't mad. She wasn't mad at all. She was so excited to see me. I didn't think she would remember me because at the time she was four.

But I cold turkey did. It's hard to break up with somebody who has a kid because then you kind of missed the kids. It kind of sometimes makes you stay longer. It's true, It's very true. It's a hard thing. I personally, like I said, I call I cut it cold, just because I felt like, how do you even explain

that now? If the kid was older, if it's older, if they're older, I feel like you would have to sit down and have a conversation, um, because they're gonna you know, they might even have your number by that point, and they might text you and I ask you, like, yo, where you at? Like we ain't going to the to the ball game this weekend or whatever else it is.

But that's a hard one. I think once at a certain age, you kind of have to talk them through it right, explained to them like, you know, me and your dad aren't cool anymore like that, So I'm going to have to be at a more of a distance. But if there's something important that you want to let me know, you know, let me know if you got an amazing graint on your exam or whatever else. It is like, what if they're like, what about on their birthday? Do you send a message? Do you call say happy birthday?

Do you get a gift? Do you get it? I think that would also have to have a conversation with the former significant other, ask them if they'd be cool with that, like do you still mind that, yeah, they're still the parent. Have that conversation with them, and then have it with the kid as well and feel it out, like you can't. Every situation is going to be different, and every child is going to be different. But that is definitely a hard one to do, especially you like,

I hate my dad? Can I come stay with you? I calm down and discuss this through. That not good at all. I don't think I would be able to break up with the kids, right what if they are young like for I mean, I don't know, it's it's it's a hard even thought. But older children, I would leave the line of communication open, but I would definitely let the parents no, Like, you know, I'm not just gonna walk away from this person. I've created this bomb

with this child, you know, even on walking away from you. So, well, you have a daughter. Now, what if you had a boyfriend and she would say when she was eight or when she was younger, and if you guys broke up, would you still let him talk to her, take her

out by her presence? Yes, so that did have if she was if she was attached to him, or if they had that kind of relationship already and then me and him broke up, I would still allow them to have that same relationship because I don't I wouldn't want to take him out of her life if she really, you know, was attached to him or care for him like that. Okay, that's fair enough, all right. Now let's get into some questions. If someone you didn't like or if it to buy you a press, it would you

accept it? And it's something you want, like something really nice? Like all right, I want to get you this ship now bag no strings attached, but you really don't like him, metal accept the present? Or do you say no, I can't take it because I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I would ask you, is that is there any criteria? Because normally they'll come with something like I'll buy you this if you go on a date

with me. And if you think that, if you got no, I just want to get you something nice because you're beautiful. You need a beautiful bag to go with that beautiful face. Ship. I might take it. I'm definitely taking it. I like you. You're like like I would ask I like, hey, listen me too. I would definitely ask all kinds of questions, like so I don't have to go on a date with you. I don't have to this not alright business?

But I would take it. And even if he tried to go on the day, I would spend his ass every time one But what if you got to meet him family give it to you? Well that to be the only time. Thanks, thanks baby. What if you have a boyfriend, and that is different if you're single, ingle, Yeah, you have to be single to do that. If you have a boyfriend, you can't take it. You can't take a gift. You can't take a gift like um like that? What did you want to see you in the mail?

Do you send it back or do you keep it? What did he send a return addressed? Though? No, he just sends it in the mail. But you have his number. You could call him and be like, you know, I appreciate it, but I can't take it. Or do you just thank you? You know, one time I actually got a gift that I couldn't accept and I gave it to good Will. Why couldn't you accept it? Because it just wasn't appropriate in the situation. Really like it was somebody like you know, you could they were offering a

business relationship, but you could tell it. You know, it'd always start. You could just play like you said business. I'm thinking this you could, But I gave it a good will. It was like this gorgeous like winter jacket. You gave it to good You couldn't give it to one of your friends at least good Come on, it's the same some one of your home girls, my friend. Oh this is true, This is true. I could have given it to one of friends. I give it a

good willow. Okay, well, somebody got a nice coat. Somebody got a nice gass coat. Now here's another debate that I've had. Um, do you make somebody your boyfriend after you're in love with them? Or are you making somebody your boyfriend and then you fall in love? I have made somebody my boyfriend before I fell in love with them. But at the same time, I'm starting to think as to reference of how old I was when you're young. When you're young, you definitely engage in a relationship far

before you're ever in love. Like it's just a serious like like, oh my god, I like that. Yeah, it's definitely infatuation. I feel like the older you get, you definitely most of my relationships have become official after you fall in love when you're older. Yeah, because why I'm gonna making my boyfriend if I don't see a future with you. Absolutely, especially because we have more of an understanding of time and the wasting of time, especially as

the woman. Once you went to like you, I'm in my thirties, I'm ashamed to say it, so once you enter your thirties, like, I'm not trying to waste my time on any dust, frivel frillleness like Sultan. You know. So you say, Gi, have you made people your boyfriend before you were in love? Not and forget when you were younger as an adult? No, mm hmm um. I need that security. I need that that bond. I needed to be real before I make it into something right,

So I would have to. Yeah, I would have to hold off on the real relationship until it gets to that, like, it has to get to that has to grow to that point. You just can't be like, oh, that's my boyfriend. Now, Christian, you've been married. What made you decide he was the one? When he was the one? When he was the one he was, Yeah, because he ain't the one no more. But at the time, you know, I'm able to look

back and remember how I felt. I definitely felt like he was an individual that regardless of any of the problems that we might encounter, that we could overcome them. I felt we had a certain kind of connection, a certain kind of bond that you know, lifetime was a very logical option, you know, between me and him. That's how I felt at the time. Um, but yeah, I don't know. I was twenty five at the time that

I got married, and uh, he was twenty nine. Um. The evolution of a person is very different, depending from person to person. I thought we were definitely at a very settled place, but you know, people still kind of end up being different than then they started out being. That was what it was in my case. So, M well, it's okay, all right, and so so you felt like, Okay, we're in love, we should get married. And then when

did you realize it wasn't gonna work? Um, and I realized it wasn't gonna work when ship hit the fan and a whole bunch of how would you say? Situations that I did not ever imagine we're going on kind of presented themselves to reality cheaters. Yeah, oh that sucks. How long do you stay? Because we were talking about this now, we have a lot of questions that people have been hitting the email helped me at gmail dot com.

But when do you Because I know a lot of times we get ourselves situations, a guy cheats on us, crazy things happen, and we end up staying. It's true for me, I've always said that I can. I don't know from TARLT, but I can deal with normal nigga ship. Like if you're doing some normal nigga ship, then there's a there's a certain allowance like, yes, we're adults, we grow,

we go through different things. There's periods of time within our relationship, especially if you're looking at a lifetime, that we might be disconnected, but it is always our goal to come back closer. But during those disconnections. I can understand how you could possibly confide in somebody else and gain an emotional connection and might slip up one or two times. But when you just stay parting some extra business mineral, I don't it's I have to take it

a completely different way when you want some extra ship. Uh, it just it doesn't. It no longer falls within the lines of like I said, yeah, it becomes it becomes very disrespectful. And um, so you're saying you could excuse a couple of indiscretions when you're all going through your

ups and downs. Yeah, this is this in modern day society with the ax sense that we have, you have to allow room for I think on both sides, like you never know and like I said, especially with the you're now taking in the span of a lifetime, Like yeah, talk sixty years, Like I don't know what you're taking. My grandparents just celebrated the sixties anniversary. My parents just celebrated their thirty first anniversary. Probably here we'll have a

sixtieth anniversary. That it doesn't exist anymore. It doesn't exist anymore. But to me, if you're trying to take in that amount of time, there is going to be slip ups. It just depends on who you who, who your partner is, and how hard you're going to be willing to come back around full circle. You think women are weak for leaving a man for cheating. We absolutely not, because it was a big topic when Tammy said that about Waka,

she was like, you know that's my husband. We took our vows and women who leave are weak, and it was a big respect controversy than you, like you said, to a certain level, you know, like it goes to a certain level. Why don't you cross that line where the disrespect is just like lat right and crazy? Then it's a rap? What's that line? Like, what are some things that's crossing that line? Don't get me to run it down the list. Not in my house right, not

in our house? And then I'm not with the friends, not people that you know, like probably like I know, like there's there, there's definitely don't be messy. Don't mean nobody's kids getting caught. Can you imagine, don't don't be meeting the kids, don't be I don't know, don't yet, don't get caught, don't but don't don't have me out here looking crazy, like if you're gonna do something, do it on on the slide like you're intelligent. I like very intelligent men like that is what draws me in.

So because I now you are of a certain intellectual capacity and you want some bullshit like right, you're smart. You don't have you don't have an excuse? Yeah, you know what I mean? What if it's just a fetish thing, like there's something that you won't do and this chick will do it, and it's something like that's normally good ship, Like if I ain't gonna do it, that I can you. You have to equate as a human being. Logically, if I am not sufficing your vice, you are inevitable with

this strap on. And and then you find me like baby hired somebody else to do? What if he hires someone would that bother? You know, if we had that kind of relationship, you didn't know because he's a shame, he's embarrassed. He doesn't want to tell you he's paying for pussy. He ain't paying for pussy, paying for dick, all right, forget the strap on. Okay, I just say he hires somebody and you know he just pays for it, and that's it is that worse than having an emotional connection.

I'm going to say it lacks the most emotional connections, So it's a little bit different. I would just be a little bit more concerned about his mental health and be like, maybe do we need to go to maryor counseling, Like what's happening, what's really happening? You know, I'll be more thinking about the underlying what you call it. Like first, girls, some men just want to be tricks. You can't help. They can't help you. They can't help Some men just

want to be tricks. They just want to trill. In that case, now you're Jamaican, so tell us the truth about these Jamaican men because it was all this controversy Jamaican ze pussy, right. It depends on the one. I know some that are very they stick to their guns. But then at the same time, you know who I've been in those relationships and I would not in Jamaica we say bow. So for me, I have been in

a relationship where there was no oral sex. Girl, I don't know if I can do that because I'm like, yo, if you're not gonna give it to me, then I'm not gonna give it to you. He didn't complain, because how can you complain if you're not going to give it to me? That's amazing when you should do that. Oral sex needs to be reciprocated or not done at all, not or not done at all. But Jamaican man, you

have had a Jamaican man. They were Americanized though, but straight No, Nope, because sometimes they might do it and I tell nobody to if it's between them and troll. But I haven't had that straight yad like that talks like that. They would kill you if you tell anyone. But some that have been Americanized, like they've lived in America for a number of years. Why rule that should be? Like, come on, what is it? I think it's ridiculous. Why is it that they don't like? What is it? Why

does it make it? Yeah, they call it like manabo bowing, Like that's essentially a form of worship in a sense. So if you all want to look upon like Rastafarianism,

you should not bow to anybody other than God. So like you can take it back to so many roots, like it could be associated with religion of bowing like you, It's it's interesting where they get there basically, But yeah, they just you know, to me, I could I was in a relationship to and I'm like, yo, if we get married, like you got to make an exception to this ship. You can't go out of each other. Yeah, like I am now you're you're my king and I'm queen.

Like a touchy subject, man. I really like it, really, especially with Jamaican's Oh my god, we got Sean Paulin is so much trouble really breakfast Club because he said he did it and then he tried to take it back. It was too late. He's he's he's a world traveler. He should have had his mind expanded by now. And he's married. Yeah, and he's married absolutely, all right. Now.

We were also talking about Candy Burrows from Real Housebands of Atlanta, and recently there was this whole big controversy about her daughter Riley, and did you see this and the mom, the baby's mom, saying, well the daughters the daughter's mother waiting now the wife, the wife of the baby daddy, saying that Candy was aside, she was a side chick. And why would you expect your daughter to be taken care of like that? If you decide chick? Now let's just say you had a man, you were married,

and he got the side chick pregnant. How do you treat that child? The child is never at fault as a woman. Child is never at fault you are. If you are a mother yourself or an auntie or whatever, you understand, the child entering the world is of complete innocence. They didn't ask to be there. They didn't tell them

to carry bout their adult business. So at the end of the day, UM, I am definitely the type that I would say, you know, you need to take care of your pickney, right, needs to keep care of your seed. And are you right there taking care of the baby too? Um? I don't know if I'm right there taking care of the baby. But does the baby got to come to the house. I don't have to. I mean, that's that's sticky,

that's that's touchy, that's super touchy. But I have heard of instances where there are some women in that kind of situation that you know, they have gotten along and they've created a loving environment for this for the sake of for the sake of the child. So on a personal level, I am that child. My father was married, my mother was one of many side bitches, and he had me and my sister Nicki sixteen days apart. Neither one of us were by his wife, so and we

were all raised one big, happy family. Now, our mothers didn't always get along when we were younger. They get along now, but when we were younger, they were always at war. But my father kept his children together. My father made sure all his children knew each other. We were all at you know, Christmas in my grandma's house and at the beach house and Wildwood every summer together, you know, like we were all the moms. Were the other moms nice to you? Like? Did they treat you well?

Or were they a little whoa the one the one who had the daughter that sixteen days apart from me, she was the one who was bitter and she wasn't mean to me. But she wasn't the one that was like happy, go lucky family time. You know. She kind of kept her distance. My mother and his wife over the years created an amazing bond to this day, they still have that amazing bond. Oh, I'm glad you hear.

Stephanie was very strong about this topic. We were talking about the side check with the baby baby like it's your own if you stay with the man. So anyway, I became you know, I was that baby. But I um have an amazing relationship with my stepmother, who they're still married, even that they're not together. Have an amazing relationship with her, like I love her as if she's my mom. I call her mom. She's really my other other.

Just a few months ago, my brother's I'm sorry, my father's brother, my uncle passed away, I said at his general with both of our other inside of me, and that was an amazing feeling to have both of them with me at that time. It's amazing that women can do that. I feel like men can't handle it, and men can't handle that. That's a woman thing, like just because we understand the importance of nurturing and that the child is not it's not that fault. Yeah, yeah, that's

amazing though, Steph, what's your take on it? Your man has a baby by somebody else, you stay with him, What happens with that child in your house? I mean, it depends. I don't think that it's during our relationship. I don't I'm not going to deal with the child. I don't have anything to do with that child. I think you should take care of the child and join and on, you know, the things, the milestones of raising a child, you know what I mean. But that's that's

your business. You you played yourself like take care of it. To do that is not a part of my family. So what if you can can that kid? Then you know your son, your son together, well you have it again? Well, I um, I think yeah, I think that I think you should let the kids know each other. You know, I think if I have a lot of brothers and sisters that I didn't get to know until my adult years, you know what I mean, And I think that was foul of my parents, you know. So I think that

the kids should be involved in each other's lives. But I don't see why I would have to be involved in that. But because your kid is there too, don't you want to know this child that's hanging around your kids and they can. I have to come over your house sometimes if you live with this man and the kid went to sleep over, I mean I could take

the kids before me. I could take the kids before me, but the kids during and during because part of you decided to stay with her body after that happened, mean that you have to accept that this happened. You know, he has to accept that this happened. I have the business. I don't have nothing to doing that. No, I couldn't, I know, and I wouldn't. I mean, as a woman, if I was the mother of the side child, I

wouldn't want my my it around the other woman. No, No, I don't like my kids around other Me and my son's father haven't been together for four years almost, and you know, I'm not very comfortable still with him being around other women. You know, I haven't brought one man around my son. You know, my son's father was in a serious relationship, so he did bring a girl around my kids. And so what if he says, Stephanie, I really want my illegitimate child to come over. I don't know.

I don't know. I guess I would have to be and and in the situation, you know what I mean, it's hope it doesn't happen. Yeah, as a baby, especially if I don't have any small children. Hell to the know, because I don't blue babies. I'm not changing his baby's papa. I'm not burping, no baby, I'm not wiping up, no spit up. I'm not riding. I'm making sure he stay

out the toilet. I'm not doing it. If he liked four or five years old, and he can talk and potty train and you know, and going about his business and all of that, then maybe he can come over and take the kid. I'll take the baby too. If if I'm married to a man and he has a side baby and we take custody of the kid, also take custody, take kids away, they kid come over at all. I feel like the moment I saw that child, I would be like, no matter how I feel like, I

want to see the babe like the sooner. The moment I see that change in mind, I feel like I would change my mind because the baby the mother and he would be like, oh but the baby it's not as fault like I feel like it's not. That's why I don't think that you should just bring child, bring a little right around where he about five guys, wholehearted. I'm just saying, all right now, A lot of people ask some email questions, so I'm glad we're gonna get to some of these today for you guys to get

some advice. Okay, how are you doing? I want to say his name I've been married for two years. I've been with my wife for five. I've had a few problems with cheating in the past, and I haven't cheated since before marriage. My wife recently explained that she has always been into women and one to threesome with the random. Of course, I'm down, but I'm afraid it start me cheating again. I love my family. I don't want to put us in this position for us to fail with

my past. I'm more concerned with why my wife wants to open the door for me to sleep with other women. I've explained this, but she trust me. I don't want to not have less than passion to cause me to relapse. Another reason I don't want to it's because she has rules for certain things she won't do, so it won't be spontaneous and fun. And I've never had a threason I don't want rules involved. What do you think, don't

do it? It's too much, it's too complicated if it's that complicated, because three sums are complicated in themselves, even when it is fun and random and no crazy rules, So it's it's a complicated situation anyway because there's so much going on. So if it has to be that complicated. Just say no, especially if you never did it before and you don't want to cheat on your wife and you relapse. He's like he was addicted to the pussy, to the outside pussy. He was chating. He's addicted to straight.

But it's good that he can identify that he has an issue and scared that he's wi him good. However, my advice to that to that young man is just stay with your wife. And it's probably not time. Like if he still feel if he's that worried about because you know what mine said, I'm always say the only thing better than amazing pussy is new pussy. You know I say that all the time. It's so true. That's what they say, so in that even if it ain't good just because it's new, because just because it's new.

Like if he feels so strongly, if he's reflecting that like strongly about the whole situation bus money, you're already stay away, Like give it a couple more years, maybe you'll be a little bit stronger what you say, step no. I think he's overthinking it. Man. You shouldn't do anything that you have to overthink like that. If you're thinking about something once or twice or three times. It's not

meant for you to complicated. Has that ever happened? Stuff like you've been the third person and the guy I've been hitting you up and love what do you mean? I mean that step? I keep doing that. I'm talking to her. I know you're talking to me right way. I keep doing this as we're always together on group chats. Have I have you ever been the third person and that guy has been like hitting you up trying to holler aside from absolutely would you do it? Or you

did it? I was like twenty two though they were married, and in the middle of our three she spassed out no, no, and then the initial three something that we had we only had one threesome, and in the middle of that she spassed out like I guess he was doing too much and she just couldn't take this, like he hadn't wait too much fun over here. It's like why are

you fucking her like that? Or why can you imagine you have a threesome and the guy seems like he's more into it kind of got cut short because she likes freaked out like that's not fun, and then um, I don't know, maybe two days later, he was on my phone like, yeah, so what's up. I'm gonna leave my wife at home. But I still have lou balls from that night. Yeah. I mean, I was really young, So I'll continue to see him. He was really nice to me financially, he was really really nice to guy.

So I continue to see him because you know, Christie, you ever had a threesome when I was married? Yeah? Okay, so did that lead to cheating or do he do you know if he hit up the other girl? Like after, Uh, he definitely hit up the other girl after I did find that out. That's why things really opened the door for that. I feel like, was that your idea or his idea? Um, it was a mutual kind of idea.

And who picked the girl? He did? They always say the woman is supposed to pick I I actually expressed that, but I understood that he had a slight reservation about it, and at the time I didn't quite know why. But that kind of that's another story. That's an evolution of understanding everything else that happened or four from the marriage. But it was a control thing, very much a control thing because he was it was he was just because he was doing other things that makes them, you know,

uncomfortable about allowing. Yeah, yeah, that's it tapped into so many other subconscious things. But yeah, he who do you pick as a woman If you're like I want to, do you pick a stranger or do you pick a friend um or just an acquaintance? Like, what's the top pick? Would you say out of those three friends, an acquaintance or a stranger? Not a stranger? I would, I would. I would go to more of a friend or acquaintance.

But it's very specific with who it is though. In my opinion, my first pick would be an acquaintance, My second pick would be a stranger stranger okay, and last my last pick would be a friend. My first pick would be a strange I knew you were going to see from the while my man watches, and the second pick would be what second pick? That's it? There is no I can't like no, I went and I went in with one of my friends, one of my home girls, and my man like, no, it's apprentished. What kind of

strange do you pick? Do you pick a girl that looks beautiful or do you not want her to look too good? And I would prefer her ask not to speak no English. Were go on the Dominican Republic. That's good, that's really no. But you don't need to speak no English. Open your mouth all right. Now, here's another question. A family member lost custody of her four year old daughter, and my husband and I assume legal custody of her. To make a long story shirt, she's not allowed to

have contact with her mother. She's been our daughter for a year now. When she refers to her mother, she calls her by her first name. When she refers to me, she calls me mommy. While I'm blessed she sees me in this manner. I'm uncomfortable with her calling her mother by her first name. Should I be encouraging her to refer to her mother there as mom or mommy? No, yrsel, of course, she needs to teach the little girl. You can't have her court, especially if you feel uncomfortable with it.

She's in her life right away, I guess. So, Yeah, it's a family member. So yes, she needs to This is your mommy. I'm your thief, I'm your I'm your auntie, I'm your you know, I'm your sister. Just make something something. Yeah, if you get married, it's your child, call your husband dad my child. Yeah, Like if you get married and that's the stepfather, is that daddy crazy? No? No, no, I think you have a father. You know who your father is? You can't don't father will fuck you up myself, period,

I think yourself. I think if the child is really really young and that person raises that child and the father isn't in their life, it's perfectly okay, right, it depends on how old it is, and it depends on if the father is in the life. I don't talk about me right right personal if the father, but if the father is like in and out, he's around, and if the kid, what if your kid is just like daddy, And do you say no, no, no, no, no, that's not your dad. Yeah, that's exactly you say, no, that's

not your daddy. But he's he's with us every night. But that's why, I, honestly, back to the subject, I feel really uncomfortable bringing my kid around other men. Like my son is ten though my son, my son is already he knows too much. Yeah, he knows what's going on. Like I don't ever have to worry about like my son will will laugh out of guy. That's asked him to call him daddy, like what like his father's his

best friend. So but even still, like I I wouldn't want like if I had a man, even even in a situation side baby shit, I wouldn't want that kid calling me momm your mother not your mother? Correctly, kids yourself like or do you tell me? But you don't have to be rude about it. You don't have to be mean. You know, say no, no, I'm not your Mamah. I love you, you know, I love you so much, but I'm not your mom. You said, maybe no, call me exactly exactly, like really nicely. All right, Now here's

a good one. Um. I've been married to my husband for many years, but it's really a merite of convenience. I stayed with him all these years, kind of like a financial safety net. I have someone I'm terribly in love with and would like to take steps to try and get closer. To the issue is I did a prenup with my husband, but it's invalid because I didn't have my own lawyer to represent me. I could easily divorce him now and get a great deal of money from him, but this could drag out for a long time.

Keeping me away from my lover longer. And you know, basically she's wondering should she just give up getting this money to be with the person that she loves or stay for financial reasons. No, I mean she needs to get what's old to her. You know, calm down, everything is a process. Don't calm down. It's don't be so quick, and you can continue to build your relationship with whoever you're with. And what if things don't work out with that person and you just sucked yourself over. You have

to take care of yourself first. Always put yourself first, creation, financial security, financially, I mean, you already did it. You already been in the marriage, then the marriage for convenience. You already put yourself there. So take the time to take yourself out and get what's yours. So don't she's just trying to dip out and just say bye to she's with him because financially she's secure. Their prenup is invalid. So she found somebody else she loves, but he don't

have no money. Well, it sounds like to me this is inevitably like soon to be ended marriage, reguardless if she's in love with another man, or she finds the next one or something like, if she's just there for convenience, you to divorce regardless, just by law, she will get whatever it is that she's allotted to in theory. Um to me, then why you even staying, Like, just start the process. Start regardless of exact man, you start the process the sooner it will be yeah, yeah, regardless of this,

do you're in love with? Is stays the one you're in love with? Like, this is a process that needs the problem is that she doesn't have a job and she has no money, and neither do the new guys to stay with the hell she had, Yeah, they married and learn how to cheat and confidence. I don't get that broken dick on the side. She could you know,

she can get her divorce. I'm saying if she, I mean she could, she can get she can start the divorce while you know, staying financially secure, and then still go ahead and get that broke Niga vacation dick on the side. You know, I mean not that long of a process. It'll take a we don't know how much her husband is worth. If her husband is worth enough, it might be a long ass process. If he were thirty thousand dollars. How long do you think how long

do you think that would take? If that motherfucker's worth more than like email, it could take up to five years. Oh god, that is a long like easy to stay in a marriage and so okay, so you're saying stay, but she don't appreciate you're saying I think that to me, the way that she speaks of them. It's in the

level process. So started now, right, regardless of this other man? Right, because you're yeah, you're gonna be revisiting this question every time you find a new money and right, if it's gonna take five years, might as well, might as well at the process. Now, do y'all want a prenup when you get married? I wouldn't mind signing a prenup if I'm in love with the person i'm married. It's not matter if you love it don't matter. What would you playing your pup? What would you want it to be

like if you had? Because you know you can make anything you want, any rules you want. I would be petty. Listen, I want Madonna's Mariah Carey's inconvenience feed. That's right, right? If they never got married, so it don't matter, right, millions yours. You didn't get it right, I didn't get married, but she was trying to get it for me, trying to get guess for being a girlfriends for being the girl. We just added inconveniency with that. Well, we don't know.

She might get it. That's probably a process because you can put anything in the prenup. You can say if you cheat on me, I get this. I would be just because I can't. Like what kind of things could you see yourself putting in it? I don't know that would say you think it is there half half? No, I mean, what's the point of Like, that's the whole point of signing a prenum, So you can't take calf Well, no, no, you put whatever you want in the prenup. The prenup

because they you get half. It's just whatever you want to put in it. It's just a contract that you make up. But depending on the state, like it might it might already be ou to half. I don't think I'm ever gonna cath. Onlything I'm gonna have to Arizona isn't be single with my whole life. If I'm not gonna get married. What if you have more money than him? Would you be willing to give up half? No? No, no, she said that hurt. I don't want to take half of I don't. I'm not one of those women. I

wouldn't be enough. Marriage of convenience. I like to make my own money. I like to have my own ship. I like to be able to spend my money how I want to spend, and I have to let somebody know what I'm doing, you know, so, I don't ever. I think if I were to get married, it would be a prenum where it would make sense for both of us. You know what, if he doesn't want you to work anymore, he's like, Okay, we're gonna get me, but I don't want you to work anymore. I'm gonna

handle all of that. Don't do a girl up. I can't. I mean, I don't think I want to work my whole life. It just depends on what I have going on. If if if work is over, if it's if it's like okay, stuff, it's time to hang it up. They say he's worth fifty million. He like, I don't want you to work. Fifty million is not enough. I don't think so. There's got a lot of money that you can invest. Yeah, but you know what, there's there's guys that make fifty million in a year even Atlanta a lot,

but but million. He should be able to flip that and make it. So let's say he doesn't want you to work, where'd you start working? Like I said, it depends on what I'm doing for work. If what I'm doing for work is something that matters and it's something that's making a change in my life and in the people's lives around me, I'm not gonna stop working. But if I'm not really doing anything, if I'm just doing regular ship, and I feel like it's to hang it up. Okay, Yeah,

you're right, baby, I don't. Let's work on us. If you were getting married, he said, Look, you ain't gotta work no more. I got us. It depends Listen. I agree. It's the same thing like if because for me, music is something that I love. Job, right, if you want me to give up that, like, no, We're gonna have to talk this out. That's what I'm saying. Just working

at the post office. But now though you are doing what you love, let's say he I don't like you doing all that, and like we can have discussions because if you reason you're saying that you don't want me to work is because you want me to have babies. We can talk this through, like, Okay, we have a certain period of time. Yes, I will make sure that I will have the babies, take care of them, all this other kind of stuff, But then we're gonna reach a certain point where this is something that I want

to be able to incorporate again at some point. You can't just expect me to just go cold turkey on. It's so hurt that once you do give it up to try to get back to it because they miss you're not doing it. So there's a whole bunch of factors. But I just feel like if I'm creating, I'm not gonna stop working. But if I'm not creating anything amazing, let's create. I mean, not stop being a stripper for

my man. Okay, we didn't get married though, and you feel like that was a good decision though, Yeah, definitely it was a good decision because you didn't want to do it anymore or well, you know, I know I still help up when I could have still got that good Well come on, yeah, you know, However, I'm in in hindsight I'm glad that I did stop when I did, and um, but if I had some other type of job that wasn't you know, not that stripping is bad.

But I don't want you to do in live service no more, you know, because you like, I'm not one day. I mean, I understand, I understand why he didn't want me to dance anymore. And you know that was you know that some people say that's how I met you, and and you people here gonna say I don't want you in that environment. Like I don't know, like if a guy told me we're gonna get married, but you have to, you know, give up everything that you started.

No more, no no, no more. Stephanie Santiago, you're just stuff. I don't know what if he's delete your Instagram, I need to get married. If I'm in love with somebody, it's gonna be like, all right, yeah, I'm gonna delete my Instagram for my husband, not for a boyfriend. Though that's weird. If he the prenup saying that I ain't getting shipped, then no, I'm not deleting my ship. It depends on what the prenup says, because if you want me to completely erase any of my potential, like structures

that makes money. You make me sign a prenup to not get no money if we break up? Okay, you know what I mean. Like to me, I'm looking at it. There. I need to ensure like if we if this doesn't work out, allow me to have my resources to make money once we no longer exist. So unless our prenups says that we didn't say, why are you acting like it's not gonna work out anything? Did you have a prenup when you were married? No? No, I was a financial superior. Actually did get you. He lucky. That's all

I can say. I'm the type of person I left. I just left. All I took was my clothing up because I didn't want any of it, Like I didn't want any carm I didn't want the couch, I didn't want the I don't want nothing. So I left him with everything. Some people say that once you love somebody, you never stopped loving them. Is that you mm hmm? It depends There's always some right, but I think it depends also on how you ended. It depends on how

you ended. Like I've been in a relationship where I felt the person that I was with I found out was a completely different motherfucker than the person I thought I was dealing with. I do not love that man, because the man I was in love with does. It's not you. I feel like, um, it doesn't matter how it ended, because sometimes you end and you're ready, and sometimes you and and you're just not, you know. So

I feel like time matters. Like with time, you you forget everything, you know, all things here with time, you know what I mean. So I just feel like, after a while, it doesn't even matter. So like I feel like Derek I was with, Can we added his name out please? Because I keep saying anyway, right, I feel like with my son's father, you know what, Like I was so in love with him when we broke up, but you know, after a couple of months then a

couple of years, you know, I love him. I love him a lot, but I can't see myself being in a romantic relationship with him, you know, Like I can't see myself being I can't say that I was never in love with him, because I definitely would. You still love him. I still love him, but it's not the same kind of because you guys have a child together.

If there's somebody that you don't have to have. That's another thing, Like there's there's guys that I swore I would die for, Like I would give up my life for these men that's today. I look at them and I'm like, oh, I can't even believe I would give you my pussy, let alone my life if I give him my life. Did you see that guy's people so where he did the fake with the cops like pull the guns on him. I heard of I read about it. I didn't see it though, and she like jumped in

front of the police. He wasn't sure if he was going to propose, so he set up this whole thing with the cops like pull up on him, drew their guns, and I just want to know what he was gonna do. She didn't jump in front of them. She'd be like, not want what they're here because she jumped in front of the police and the gun like he then knelt on his knee and proposed, I wouldn't want to marry

you after you put me through that. That's a hard that's like traumatizing, especially with everything that's going on, Like, give me a break. Would he have jumped in front of those guns too? He wasn't even sure if you wanted to marry him. Yeah, listen, you don't even know if you want to propose to me. I'm supposed to jump in front of a bullet For what is the perfect proposal? I think I would like somebody proposing me like alone. I don't want to in front of like alone,

like somewhere really private and just us. That's one, right. I mean we've seen things like we said how Gucci just proposed to Kesha R at the game. That was cute, that that was cut. I don't even like embarrassed because I don't like that attention. I didn't think, oh my god, why did you do that? Yes, yeah, I think the perfect proposal for me would be like on a vacation.

But what do you know, It's really cute when Beyonce's dancing choreographer when they were doing single Ladies and then she had the choreographer, I guess the two of them both were like work with Beyonce and then he proposed her during the dance and that was cute. And I just think for me, I don't have a specific perfect proposal. All I know is what will make it perfect is the fact that he thought about it, right, It's all about the thought. What if the ring is completely not you? Oh,

what about the same my style. Let's go, let's go go swap that bang out. Where is this for the rest of my life? Let's go figure this out. But you can't learn to love the ring. No, I mean I wouldn't be, Like it depends on what I like. Like what were we talking about? Is the ring too cheap? Or is it just not your style? Not your sty It looks like financial just not your style. It looks like the Queenie I mean personally, and I like that goal. I wouldn't want it to I wouldn't want it to

be I would want it yellow gold. I wouldn't want it white gold, like everybody likes white gold for engagement rings like yellow. Yeah, I would want to yellow. And I would want it to be a square. Yeah, everybody like that halo. I don't like that halo. So I don't want my diamond. They have no halo. I just want my Would you want him to ask you, like, what kind of ring you want? No? But I want

him to figure it out. Yeah, I want him to figure out this a woman thing, figure it out, just to figure this ship out and I want like a really nice band with diamonds in it and square one diamond to the amount of car big one? How many carries you would I don't know. I'm not sure. I haven't really researched that, crea. What was your proposal? Like?

But I wanted to be big and so bad, even though I'm noxious ob noxious, but even though I even though I don't like you saw that that post running through social media with the girl her husband bought her. I had rings from from the but she they didn't even have any money, and she just told him I don't care, I don't want anything, and to get her something like. I think that was she got that my proposal. I didn't even get a ring. You didn't, I didn't.

You didn't do that paper ring like Apollo with him no paper I didn't even get a paper ring. So how was that proposal? It was listen, it was completely off guard and I wasn't even in that. Did he just say it on a whim? Let's ask in Hennessey girl, let's get married. Yes. I don't think he was prepared at least running down. How did this happen? All the whole the whole time though he was super He was actually acting the entire evening super weird out of it,

super weird. Like we went for like a like a dinner and a movie or whatever was in the movie. Kept kissing my head like really loud, and I was like, I kept like it was a it was the movie? Was it for us? It was? It was Avatar Avatar? Okay. I think it was like it was like almost close to Christmas or something like that, but it was super. It was just, you know, it wasn't anything like what did you say? I don't even remember, you know, how

long it going? Oh my god. But still I would think that's like a momentous occasion that you never forget. I was trying to block it out of my memory. And I'm my happy divorces. You've been divorced too, I mean the divorce you've been proposed to. I've been engaged twice two times. I was engaged to my son's father and I was engaged to my boyfriend before my son's father was engaged. Since though those um the first one he proposed to me, it was he brought me a

ring and all of that. He got down on one me, but he did it because he gave me a fucking black eye. So he felt bad and he asked me to marry him after that. That's the only way for me to get back with him. I said, yes. I was like, I was like seventy, I was a kid. So and then you know, I was Me and my son's father. We wanted to get married. We wanted to get married for a little while and then I'll changed my mind. How did he proposed? It was just a conversation.

It was just he never brought me a ring either. We weren't even worried about getting the rings. We just we wanted to um he wanted, We wanted to. He wanted to give me his name so we could all be Rodriguez, all three of us. You think you're gonna keep Santiago to when you get in. No, I'm gonna take my husband's last name because my name is really long. Guys like, hopefully why name man? Like, do y'all know my middle name, Stephanie Florence Santiago. We're talking about six

fucking letters. Break. My mother's name is Florence. My father wanted my name to be Florence. That was his first choice. He was so in love with my mom, the most beautiful woman in the world, the second most beautiful Florence, the Florence junior women are not junior. I know, I kidding, but anyway, my mom's alright, I start talking my middle names because my sound like a whole different league. What is it? My name is Calthini. Oh my god, that's way worse than mine. So let me say that. Where

did that come from? My My mama was a hippie. It's like a Hindu or something. You know what it means? Yes, it means quiet water child, definitely not quiet choir trying to be quiet sometimes depending on you. Sometimes you'd be quiet, depending on your mood. Yeah, depending on the mood. Cretia, would you did you change your last name? Would you now? Because you've got a brand? We all you know you have a brand too. That's why I didn't think he

would change it depends. I would probably change it legally, but still gold by it. Depending where his last name is too. Yeah, yeah, exactly. My stage name would still be the same, but legally changed. Changed you know what I mean? Right? What if his last name is like gay Lord? No, I'm not changing just kidding. It all depends on how it just sounds together. Yeah, Stephanie Florence Santiago gay Lord gay Lord like a funked up last name. Though, what if it's like Zimmerman. No, I'm not trying to

do zimmer Man either. Man. Like my sister's last name is Bomb, but I don't think I want bombed either. Her last name, No, that gotta flow. Stephanie Bomb was her last name. Her last name was her last name. That's Italian, It's like real, authentic Italian. Her last name is gian Bastiani. I like that, Stephanie Santiago John That's fancy, right, it sounds I want to say, that sounds rich, and so I will take a name like that, even though it's super domb. Long is longer than mind? Yeah, that's

definitely longer than all. Right, here's that last question before you go catch your flight, Creatia. I'm a twenty two year old guy. I have two girls to choose from. One has to other looks. I could win, but she's not as ambitious your mature as I am when it comes to working money. The second is perfect when it comes to maturity ambition, but she's not the best looking. Who should I pick? Young man? This you are only

asking this question because of your age. Um. If you want to look at it like a business proposition, if you're buying something that depreciates with age, or you buy something that that increases its value with time. The only thing that does that is a woman that's going give you more than just her looks, because looks alone depreciates. So if you're a businessman and you're own business mind, yeah,

go up, yeah, go after the y'all. Let you know like that, it sounds like, you know, she's a good investment, she's a good investment at that age. You know, he's probably not ready for that. He's not. He's only thinking, you know, so he needs to he needs to he needs to be with the pretty girl. So you know, that doesn't get a lot of mind. Just gonna be with that girl and cheat with the pretty girl, That's

what I'm saying. That doesn't have the mind, you know, so you can see how trash that and get it out, Just get it out. So he said, go see how trash that is. Go be with some trash experience. Let's not have more asked them be And what a dumb if he if he if he gets with him, he will quickly realize how valuable be you. That's what I'm saying, you know, with the idiot it's twenty two, give yourself

a couple a couple of years. How I'm playing a liks to you guys, like for a man for me business, it's important, yes, Like I like my guys to be bomb bomb face bomb body bomb bomb. Like I feel like, here's the thing. I feel like. You know, you get what is offered to you, you know what I mean. And I am fortunate enough to be able to be with some fine acid niggas, you know what I'm saying.

So for me, for me, you know, like I was in a relationship with somebody who wasn't very good looking, you know, and I didn't people, not not my I mean, I'm not gonna speak specific, but people used to look at me like like what is she doing with that? You know, like, and I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that again. It's important. I

feel like you could get somebody. Yeah, I feel like you could get somebody who you're I just want to be really attractive and imagine ugly dude on Instagram with you have. It's not fun even like that bad. It was a good angle, you know, you gotta do that. No, But but my thing is, um, you know, what I'm attracted to isn't what everybody else is attracted, you know what I mean? So I could think my man is fine as fun and everybody could be like, what is

she like? You know, I just need to have that, you know, I just need to for me to be with somebody, even just not even in a serious relationship, just for me to be with somebody sexually, I need to be like fifty percent attracted to them. It looks still matter to you that much. No, I for me, Once I'm like mentally attracted to somebody, magically, they just look so much better than like I'm gonna. I understand

that about myself. Like if I need to mentally attracted to you, you are so fine to me, and even that about so fine to me, but attractive, but attractive, But there's something different that I see. We all look good in the duck. I feel like I gotta get that physical attraction before I could even try to get to know the mind. But then sometimes that's to me that happens more in a situation of like you fall for the friend like this niked just your friend the

best Those are usually the most long last thing. You're not even kicking it with him because of the way he looks like you just this is your friend, and then you fall in love and then he just looked way better than exactly. I agree, and that's true. That that's why I've been through that. I could relate to that like that. Yeah, I remember even happened. Christian. We're gonna let you go catch it flight because I want

you to miss it. And we appreciate you. We had a really good time you came to We appreciate your openness and honesty. I heard I was gonna really like you, so it worked out. You know, I have fun with you ladies. Where you live now? I live in l A, Okay, but Toronto, Jamaica l A. Well, I haven't been in Canada for years, but I've frequent l A and Jamaica a lot. Okay, I frequent Jamaica as well. I love Jamaica, but I love Jamaica too. I'm not I'm touristy. I

go to Oto Rio, Kingston. I have not yet been. You have been except the airport. Let me tell you where I've been. I've been the Briton Spanish Town. Oh, I used to live in Spanish Town. I've been there. I stayed there for two weeks. When I was doing in Spanish Town, girl, I was doing some ship that I shouldn't have been doing. I like, Yo, you should I to jail for. Yeah, I was on some dumb sho I shouldn't have been when I was nineteen years old. Went to jail. Now, that is what I want to

jail for. Really, No, it is I was nine. I didn't know she went to jail. Yeah, yeah, we were to see you. Listen, folks, listen names stay with from Spanish tone. Yeah, I used to live in I used to live in Spanish and I went to school in Kingston. But for me, I love Kingston because it's where the culture is the richest. Some of the I always tell you, I need somebody to take me that. I'm not gonna just roll up the locals. But the differences is like

the dance hall. That's like when I'm going to Jamaica. That's what I want to reach. Some of the most epic nights of my life have been at the dance hall. What you think about Nick Cannons, King of the dance Hall. You're not going to I'm the lead a female antagonists, Okay, I'm looking for I haven't seen it yet because I know we's at all the film festivals. It's not out on regular whatever, so I got to see that. I'm excited for it. We just talked to Nick Cannon about it.

For I was a little nervous at first because the first time I saw the movie was at the premier at Tiffin Tron International Film Festival, because I didn't know what he was going to do with it um And I can honestly say that once I sat in uh witness what he had put together, I started crying, like in the middle of it. Because for me as a Jamaican, there are things that he captured that people have never seen Jamaica that way before. They've net like especially the

grit like in Kingston of dance Hall. There are things that people the world has never seen him. For me, the that he was able to accomplish that makes me excited and proud. That's good becausejamaking his own play with their coach and then I can't just come to Jamaica NASA. But at the same time, there are a couple of things I feel like you could fix There was so much of the storyline that was cut out that kind

of made the second half super how would you say, rushed? Um, But as far as the capturing of the dancing and the culture, he definitely accomplished that. And Beniman narrated and every famous Jamaican is in there, from Barrington Levy to Kimani Maley to Ninja mant and like he did it right. It's yeah, the right people. Yeah, it's a fun it's a fun movie. Like you can't take it seriously, Like you're not going there to you know, have an Oscar

winning award presentation, you know what I mean. Like you're gonna see some great dancing and goody great dancing, like and be entertained and be entertained absolutely all right, right, but thank you so much. This is really cool. You gotta come back next time you're here. Absolutely, go around and catch your flight and listen. Miss