Episode 453: The One and Only (Feat. Lynn Whitfield)

What's up and slip service. I'm Angela Yee, I'm Jiji.

Maguire, I'm Laura Mura, I'm Jordan Manuel.

And dovelin' wodfield.

Me.

This is not a time field us, y'all. Yes, well, first of all, live with Field. Thank you so much for joining. Honestly, this is very iconic for us to have you here. So we're going to be respectful, but we're still gonna get all in your business.

I know, I don't trust, very respectful. Trusted. We're gonna see, she said.

I know where I'm at, but I know you can handle it, you know, just from watching you on the screen. One thing that we want to start with, and this is a little icebreaker for us, just for us to tell a little bit about ourselves, is a time that we have brandied, okay, and so a situation in our life, just like Brandy from a thin Line, where we've been brandying. Now, Jordan, I know first, okay, No, I gotta think about that. What about you, gg what's some crazy?

The first thing that comes to mind is when I knocked the hookah over on the table and the coles went flying onto people.

It was that for one of your parties.

Oh oh, I feel like somebody like really upset you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, ask her about it.

You did it. I knocked it and I intentionally knocked over the You intentionally did it.

I pushed it over and it was like a long table full of people and the hookah was at the end, and I like pushed it down the table like bowling, like a bowling ball, just knocking everything over.

And I'm coulda set a fire. It could have hurt people.

It was very bad. So if you had it to do over again, would you do I would not do it again.

You would not do it. You know there are people that did that. You would not do it again.

There are literally people that hate my stinking guts because I did that. Oh really Yeah, somebody got burned and she hates me forever. Oh I'm sorry you burned somebody that.

Oh they're finding out new things. That was yes, all right, okay, okay, Laura, the time you've brandied, I keep the escalator. Come on, wait what you're stolen?

Say?

Kept it? Okay?

Yep?

Right at the game on the spot he was at with the other girl, whoa.

Some people may make you pay for that.

Oh he knew not to okay, like key, I ran after and he knew it was He knew it.

Was me, okay, And what did he say after that?

Why would you do that? I told you I wasn't with nobody else. I was like, yeah, whatever, just go get it fixed.

Oh my goodness.

Yeah he deserved it all right.

Mine still doesn't know that this happened.

But I guess.

I guess this is or doesn't know it was me, So I don't know if I want to blow up my spy.

I don't.

Ever, there was an egging situation, the egging situation, same guy, okay, but there was an egging moment with all the cars, and unfortunately my homegirl, who also had an ex at the same.

Party, got the blame of it.

Yeah, but they knew I was there, so you know, I claim my business. But yeah, but the other one.

Is sorry, let me see what did I do? I've done like little things one time. I'm definitely the type of person. I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me and I the girl he was cheating with was engaged to somebody, and I sent all the the proof to her, the proof to the fiance via Facebook. Sure, that's just journalism. Yeah, that's journalism.

They did.

They actually did end up still getting married, but I'm sure he probably felt away. Still, Yes, you know what about you in real life?

Oh no, Well see that's the great thing about being an access I can act out and not get put in jail.

But listen, that's not illegal. But is there a time you have gone crazy in a relationship? I mean, you've been in this business since a young, young, young age, yes, and you've seen a lot.

And well, here's the thing I wouldn't say over. I'm not a vindictive person. I'm just more I used to be just more emotional. If it came up, it came out right.

And so it wasn't just with a guy.

Usually I wouldn't make a guy feel that he was important enough for me to like you really like that really, But it's through a lot of psychologies, you know, working through things, because all that comes from rage.

Because when we do stuff like that, it's not even.

That we're that mad, we're that hurt where that hurt and the hurt turns to like the anger thing and rage and then we have a tantrum.

Right, So I used to have tantrums. I mean, you know, okay, I have turned over a few tables.

I mean no, but that happens to be really, you know, easy because you don't even have to, like you just.

It wasn't a table, and it just yeah, look, I'm not gonna feel a muscle trying to get.

Mad as some fuck. You know, you can just tip it in. It's gone. So but that was really really a.

Lot younger, because I find that it takes more well what do you all think? I feel like that kind of rage and anger it takes more away from.

You than it gives to you. Yes, you know, it might feel good in that moment.

In that moment, but the repercussings and consequences never feel good.

I think that's a younger.

Yeah, I was twenty one.

As you get older, you're not supposed to twenty Yeah she.

Was twenty one. Don't be scared of anybody who like has an eye on her. Now she would I would never.

Do that now, Like, yeah, it was too many cameras. I'll go home and cry, just cry about it everyone.

Might you know my phrase? No, next, just that part's all move on?

Like why what our feelings get involved? Because you know, you can't feel anger and rage without having having had filt some type of love right, well exactly so, but that's between love and hay is it was.

It's a saying for years and years and years and years and years a song. It's a song and they even made a song about it because it's passion. So when you feel passionate about someone, it can't even be your best.

Friend or a friend.

When you know you love it that that is the person who can push you off the.

Most heart the word really really really, so it's passion, you know.

So one first, I think we can celebrate that we're deeply feeling people, and then I think it's like, okay, what are you really going to do with.

This if it's not quite how you want it to be?

And how you know, how you're going to manage that part because it's not so much the thing, but how we manage it, you know.

I feel like, and tell me, if you think this is true, you feel like you've been destined for this life that you had, because even from early on, it's like, yes, stuff hit I do.

I think some people are lucky enough that you get your purpose gets deposited in your spirit. And I just kind of always knew because I was watching those movies at home, and you know, people were glamorous and they would make me cry.

They would make me laugh.

I could go through a whole range of life experience, you know, and I just always knew that this is what I wanted to do, and I thought maybe I would have talent at it.

But then I studied it, you know, at Howard and then with other.

I know I do, but but you know, yeah, it's a blessing when you kind of know what you want to do early on.

Now this is a real uncensored because we've seen your TV one uncensored. Yes, but this is a different type of uncensored.

Yes.

How is it in relationships turning on and off? You know, the acting? Because sometimes people think that you could be acting when you're in a relationship with them, and maybe sometimes you kind of are like, how does that work for you?

Yeah?

No, I wish that I could act in relationships. I wish that I was that person, the contrivant, you know, to be kind of to act out in a relationship you're talking about male female.

Yeah, I'm not good at it.

If we hung out and we found out a few times, yeah, I kind of like need the truth in my world, and I think that's the kind of acting that I do. I think it comes from an honest place. But I have I can't tell you the number of times back in the day and even forward now then I'll be at dinner with somebody, out with somebody and they're like, well, you know, I don't know I should just before because you know, but I don't think you could like act that crazy if you.

So people believe it, so you know, they believe it.

But the thing is is that the acting part right, part of the work of acting, and it's not just for the you know, the glory and this and that, and there's a lot of perks that come along with it. But I take it as a responsibility, like in a service gig, because I think that you have to take

Trust like you know in relationships. But I will say, well.

Back to that, no, people a lot of that meant. But that would be an insecure.

Like is she like they'd be like, is she really enjoying us?

Well, that's you don't know, if right, If you don't know, if you're not more incommings screaming a little too, you're not more in command of yourself. If you can't know who you are and what you can do and what you're capable of man how to do what you do, then what can I do about that?

I can't, you know.

I have love limit Field for a long time now playing Josephine Baker. Also, my grandmother's name is Josephine. Oh, so I've always felt like that connection. So I love like just that name also. But that was amazing for you do take things like that with you, like, because that's the road you really had to get into. Yeah, you know, that's not something that is like all right, that's a real person like that. You have to study what actually happened, you know in there.

I'll tell you what I took one of the things I took from Josephine Baker. If you go back and look at it, there was a time when she lost everything. She lost her house and they took her out of our house and a hair by it and barefoot in a quilted robe. I sat out on it that I was like, oh my god, I never want this to happen to me.

I carried the.

Fear of poverty, of making bad mistakes. And the funny thing is is when you carry fear about something, you often draw it to you. Oh look, y'all, we got an amen can off. It's not even lady, may we just talking like, you know what I mean. So I think I brought some bad financial choices to myself from the fear.

Okay, you know what. I'm gonna say this too. For a lot of people who don't come from money, it is really a fear like when you start getting sound, you know, you are so scared to like make the right decisions because we're always scared that it's not going to work out or that it could go away at any moment.

Right.

That's how I feel like with everything that I do, I'm always like I got to prepare it because just in case I lose everything, I'm gonna make sure that I always have a place to live, or like I make decisions.

That's a safer but that's a safer route than the other route, which is this got started and it's never going to go away, right, And so I think there's a lot of that kind of thinking too.

What do you ladies think I have fear?

Like I feel like in this time right now in my life, everything is that I've ever wanted is right there. But I'm so used to being indecisive and making choices, not thinking about myself, thinking about everything else that I'm now like, oh my god, everything I want is right here.

If you're not thinking about what are you thinking about?

Fair imposter syndrome?

Thing that fear that I I don't deserve it or I'm gonna mess it up. I don't like.

Fear is a bitch, and it is just the device of obstruction and what I call I don't want to scare people, but I do call it darkness.

Okay, don't get scared.

It's that's okay, It's just energy that is and and but it's amazing what we what we do to ourselves.

Right especially as women.

I think, yes, it's a habit of women and society kind of pushing us on to not going after what we actually want and having to stay within this box and stay within reach.

And you know, I was at jazz Fest last week and I was walking, you know, and there's lots of people, and you go to the stages and Earth when fire was killing it and just pat.

Killed were killed.

It was amazing, but it was so funny, like you're walking and you know, lots of people and the number of women, black, white, pink, purple who said I'm sorry, like they walk in front of you, I'm sorry, excuse me, I'm sorry. I was like, what is everybody apologizing for?

Crazy?

And I could see myself in it, and I could see other people in my family in it. I was like, why why are all the women apologizing?

Men would just look hying and hearing and it's like, I'm sorry, excuse me to me what?

Oh oh wait, I'm sorry so many.

Times b watch out.

You know, a sense of entitlement, like I'm supposed to be here and so I'm learning still because I'm a work in progress. Y'all may look at IMDb and say, oh lord, she must know it all lies.

Lies. I'm such a work in progress.

But I mean the information that we feed ourselves is so key because often we just do it ourselves.

Well, you know you said that you like when it came to financial decisions early on, you didn't make the best ones. No, so tell me, like some things that you learned along the way.

I would just put it off, right, I would put off gathering those re seats.

I would put off like.

I would put off like actually finding out and actually seeking counsel, Like is this a wise thing for me to do right now? Is it wise for me to stay in the south of France for six weeks? But no, but no, but you know, not wanting so, And that was something that Josephine did, right, Yes he did. It's like I don't I don't want to know it's all going to work out, right, you know what's me right now?

We'll fix it.

And then when it gets down to I mean, okay, I didn't not go for the trap of the five thousand dollars perse that was never the choice that I would make. I have to say that, no, so, you know, putting off the reality of where I was, not wanting to know where I was because I wanted to do what I wanted to do. And I think and I think that was the biggest That is the biggest, That was my biggest flaw. And so then the results that come from all of that can be so messy, so catastrophe.

So so that, yeah, people assume that you're rich too, always, like even back then, just because you've had movies that have been huge for a long time. And so after that, understand how important, how how expensive it is to sustain because you're expensive.

There are I do I do, you know, I love that.

Stuff, but I have I played a maid once once one I play but she was really really great. It was called Sophie and the Moon Hanger.

But I don't know.

After Josephine, I mean, I think that's a part of the type guessing thing. After Josephine, people just always saw me as this grand you know, you gotta that's.

Not a bad thing. Though it's not bad.

You have a rich look and yeah, like everything about your energy. Yes, people say that, but I don't.

I guess so, but that's not how I see it. You know, I don't.

I don't see well I do. Here's what I do know. I'm entitled to be here. I am entitled to walk this earth without full explanation of all of who I am. And I really don't need to give a lot of energy to things that you know, racism, sexism. You all very rarely hear me complaining about all those things. You might see me encouraging people to vote. You see me doing some things, but I don't want to give them all my space that they're important enough that you have

And you're from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, Yes, which is I've been there a few times, Yes, I have. I remember the first time I went there, But after that I did interview n Be a young boy, you know, So I spent some time there while I was out in Baton Rouge, and I hosted a party there. I was there like a few times. How do you feel like bat and Ruge has shaped who you are today and what was that like?

Well, I think the people who loved me, the women who loved me, you know, the women who.

My mother, my grandmother's, my aunt.

All those people there she helped to shape me because what was segregated in the South, and people don't quite you know, get it, is that somehow there's still this way that races coexist as long as they're not giving each other a problem, you.

Know, So it's cool.

And so the black world that I grew up in, everybody was the doctor, the lawyer of the Indian chief. We had our own yards, our own land, our own homes. So those people and that culture and that legacy, you know, has just been with me always, right.

So that's baton rouge. That's where I was. But now New Orleans is with your daughter.

In New Orleans amazing. Grace getson shout out to you.

Yes, it was just at the Apollo Cafe last weekend, so you couldn't come.

But there's some other dates coming up and you gotta comment.

Now she's a singer, she's amazing. I was embarrassed. Tell her sorry, I was so drunk. We were good the second time. I have no idea, but she definitely was.

What she said, so sweet, it's New Orleans.

It's New Orleans, right, you get drunk, drunk and eat.

That's it, so you said, but New Orleans.

Well New Orleans.

I have this real cultural connection with New Orleans because when I'm in New Orleans, you know, I feel Europe, I feel Africa, you know, I feel a lack of cultural judgment. Like people's cultures are respected there. Okay, even the Irish, the Italian, the you know. So that's why they have all those musical families, the Nevils, the Marsalises, all of that. It's like a legacy of music and culture that just continues to you go walk around.

New Orleans and go for barta bar and just see amazing live music. Like why does this person? Yeah yeah, the kids outside, It's like it's like is this in the air and the water that these kids, even from a young age, just had like the ability favorite places to visit. It's amazing.

Trombone Shorties closed it because he closes out jazz Fest every year. And I was backstage, like in his family section, and this was this little girl. They were just wailing on stage, and Cyril Neville and and troumbone shorty, and this little girl had drumsticks and she was drumming on the metal railings like killing it. And when trombone raised his trumpets up, she raised up.

To the family.

You know what amazing place. It's very magical, Yes it is.

You know, I can't imagine not having it. It fuels me to be like a better artist, right, take more chances, you know, and when you hear great music or you see like interesting intuitive painting, it just makes me better, you know, like art becomes a real expressionist, the expressionistic part of acting.

And exciting to have a daughter who is a musician also.

So talented, and I am so glad and so founded that I can really say that with gusto and mean it, because I can't stand artistic mediocrity. So yeah, she's a really great composer, bandleader, entertainer. She really had people in the palm of her hand up there at the Pallo Cafe this weekend.

It was very we.

See Grace.

Yes, well, I think she has some dates coming up here in New York.

You know, we're gonna plan something.

I would love to.

Think it is so like not.

The sweet, how sweet and who she is no, she's it's a whole.

Difference to get it from her.

Mama.

Know, you got say you got to stand at the center of yourself when you're doing your art.

I mean, like if you're not coming from.

Day and below the gun and below is where all the power is, and you got to use that in your art.

What was it like for you having a daughter while you were in this business, like when you know, thinking about like when you were married and then finding out that you were having a baby and then having a girl. What was that like?

First of all, when I found out I was having a girl, I cried.

Really I.

Boo hooed so hard. You seem like I was having my makeup.

I am a good mom, but.

That's a girl mom. I see you with a girl and a girl.

Or a girl moa.

But a makeup artist is doing my makeup. And the doctor.

Said, when we have the results.

The doctor was say, okay, back then, that's what they would they would tell you, this is you're having a girl.

My god, I have to grow up.

It was bad because if it was a son of son, it's always gonna.

You know what I mean.

I thought it would be like that would be easy.

I would have to, you know, and those little girls would be getting on his nerves, but Mama would always be. But before I really took it seriously, and I was in mourning for the first bit of time because I would have to be a better, stronger woman. And I just love being a little girl in a sandbox, acting and telling stories and not having to, you.

Know, grow up.

Yes, I have a daughter, and you just I've never thought about that. I mean, I heard it when I was seventeen, so I was still growing up as but like that just gives me a whole different perspective of like the dynamic of being a girl mom. But you do, and then we're both like she's grown, we're both grown. Now that she's grown.

It's just like, yeah, but even you did an amazing job with your daughter.

I think your daughter is amazing. I think you are amazed. Like I was thinking.

So, I have two boys, and I've always said I wanted a girl. But I'm like, God knows what he does, and he does. Everything happens for a reason for purpose, and God gives you what's for you and what he knows you can handle. Because baby girl at sixteen, me with no mother, no auntie, No, none of that, and a girl that would have been and even my second child, I thought it was a girl in the style.

I was like, I get a guy.

We ain't ready.

But now at forty, I'm like, I'm.

Ready for a girl.

Now, girl, I know what to tell you.

Yes, well you better hurry up, darling taking that baby.

My friend is having a girl and I told her, I said, don't worry, I'll be the pabby. It's not coming from this side. But I just feel like you look so like you know what I say. I said, God blessed me with youth because from the age of sixteen I had to be a full grown adult with no adults support, like on my own figure it out.

So I dugged it out. I said, God, you're giving me this.

You're gonna get me through this, And he's really repaying me back with everything I ever wanted. You see everything I ever wanted, like all the fear and all of that. Like I'm to a place now at forty where I'm like, what are you scared for? Like you you you just handled the toughest job that a female could be handled at a young agen and it's a job right and like you did it, and look where I'm at now. I've never had to do anything that I regret. To

I raised amazing.

They're sensitive, they're emotional, they're strong, they're protectors, all of that. I don't think at that age, with everything going on, I would have been.

Able to give that to her. You gave it to I gave different.

So everybody gets because, like I said, her daughter, I think her daughter is amazing, you know, thank you. And the way she's speaking about your daughter is amazing. So you got yes.

Lay, you're also the only person in here who's ever been married. Oh yeah, just one time?

By two times? Yes? What are you?

That's not marriage now? Because I feel like people have changed as far as like, you know, the like for you when you first got married and the importance of marriage, what was that like?

Well, you know, I never really thought about marriage. The first time I got married. It was to someone twenty two years older than I was.

He was a director and ran the DC Black Repertory Company, taught he was my acting teacher.

We I was in Howard University.

My mother found out that I was spending more time at his house than I spent in my dormitory. And she called his house one morning, like at six am in the morning, and I answered, I was like, and she said, I never as long as I lived and breathe thought that a Charla mine would be you know those years and my mom was a Southern Belt but could always use language like a sailor. And she let go some expertives that were like and she was so upset. I think she had a detective I think to know

He looked just like my dad.

Beware when somebody looks like your dad, or when you find the traits or something that there was something but and I knew that I wouldn't be But I basically got married because we loved each other.

And he said, well, we'll just get married.

I don't want, you know, to create this because my mom was so upset.

So that was why I'm married.

So listen, We're going to get this, yes right and make it right for mama. Yes, And how long did that marriage lands?

About five or six years because after I graduated from I was still in college and he had an eight year old son, and I was doing all that landswide feel and after I graduated, I mean I wanted to go to New York. He was running the National Endownment for the Arts for giving money to you know, diverse grants to people culture. So he was settling down and I.

Was just, oh my god, I gotta go.

I gotta like so we kind of always knew, right, So that was the first time.

And I was too young to give any marriage.

What was so what was the proposal?

Like?

I was like, no, we'll just get married so that they don't want they want to He said, don't worry.

We really we really just.

Really enjoyed each other's company. He was so kind, he was so nurturing.

That's good.

But we did such great, you know work together, the DC Black Repertory Company.

So it was it was just a strange kindo. Huh, it worked. It did work.

It at the time.

Yes, that was the first time.

So how hard was it for you to be like, Okay, this isn't working, Let's get a divorce. Was it just a okay, we're cool, we agree.

It's kind of like we understood. He understood that I was just spreading my wings, right, and that he was settling down because he was twenty two years older.

And if he left you, he wanted you to go and to do so.

It was like a very When I look back on it, I think it was probably the most generous kind of relationship I've ever experienced.

But I was too young to really appreciate. I just knew I had to I had so much much to do.

And was he hype when he saw you? In like the movie rolls, Oh yes, because it's like this.

Is absolutely absolutely he was so so so you.

Can't go to New York and nothing.

New York for a woman in New York and went to Australia and ended up in Los Angeles with For Colored Girls?

Oh yes. And I just saw For Colored Girls on Broadway when it was on bro I.

Didn't get to see it, but a lot of the it.

Came and went so fast. I was very upset about that.

Could I enjoy it?

I did?

I say, Laura, you came first play? I took her by first place, so thoroughly enjoyed. We cried the woods. Yes, the woods was amazing. That were amazing, and the poetry is so great. It's a story that lives for every cry. Like I felt, every single was like are you crying?

It was an emotional day. But when I say that list forever. A lot of what you've done has lived for us.

I always wanted to be involved with class, with something that would stand the test of time and.

I and I'm very fortunate that there you know, a few of them.

Even think about ease by you.

Everybody on that everyone has gone on to journey Magan.

You know, Casey went on to direct Harriet and then Whitney Houston and all that.

So everybody continued on like.

Who did you know that was going to be what it was?

I felt like it was really special.

Yeah, and I felt I was very excited to do it because I was inspired by my aunt who was married.

To somebody that was philandering.

Well you know, as I'm not I'm not going to like go all into it, but my aunt, but but but but a you know, an obgy and husband and lots of things. But it was the way that people stay, that women stay right and women didn't say. And it was the period of time, you know, and I kept asking Casey the director, please, she needs one scene where she just you know, flips and lays him thin. And she said, no, no, don't. You'll thank me later when you see it. Your silence is more powerful. And I

Think about the power in staying with somebody who was doing what he was doing and being silent about it. It's kind of like the movie Fences too, the play Fences when he done had a whole baby by somebody else and she was like taking care.

Of But those were choices that you know, women make choices, you know, and what are we to judge if it works out, because I've actually seen some of those relationships that they work, they go and then they're happy that they're together, you know, own canes and stuff together. Still, you know, well, girl, everybody can't.

Push the hoo could.

Don't act like you ain't flip no.

But some people choose, like I'd rather be here than there.

I'm going to make the choice to stick this out. But you know what, I.

Do think I think that in the time period too, as women are becoming independent with jobs making more than our men two. At times we don't feel the necessity because sometimes survival wise, yes, you feel.

Like exactly exactly, well, there's that right, you have the bank account, you have the job, you d have the degree often or whatever. But some people still choose to stay and work through it, and some people don't.

It's a choice. It's a choice because sometimes people act like you know, and gave up. If you don't stay, if you're like I.

Know, that gott to be a personal choice.

And that's why I stay out of people's decisions. If you ask me what I think, you know, I'm gonna always be here.

Almost any time I've ever waited on things like that, I get myself in trouble.

Yeah, and then they stay together, and then everybody looking at you.

And I need to just even if you say, they don't go and then it ends up being horrible, you know what I mean.

It's just I learned just to support.

I hear you, I'm listening, but right right here, right yeah.

I went to this place where I did all raw food and detox and you know, colonics, and really it was as spiritual as it was anything else. And they had classes as well, and this one class was called compassionate listening.

Like you just don't talk.

You had to hear somebody tell you whatever they wanted to tell you.

That's hard.

We all went silent when you said that.

But the compassionate listening is listening from your heart but not talking, not giving any advice, any opinion, nothing.

It was really hard.

It was for everyone but people, and you'd be surprised at people.

Some people came up with their own answers.

They were so relieved just to get it out that it didn't hurt us bad anymore, that they just to have it out and to release compassionate listen. I had no idea that that was just in August September that I went into this, that I experienced.

That, okay, And when at Arizona, where was it?

It's into Ricos in Puerto Rico.

I would love to do this than like me.

It's called it and Wigmore Institute, and.

That sounds fascinating and it's.

All green and nothing tastes good food medicine just.

That food is but raw food like but not raw meat.

No.

No, yeah, how did you?

But when I came back Grason, my relationship improved. Oh wow, okay, it was good. But I and if I can maybe even you remember that.

Yeah, yeah, I would love to do that.

Let's do that guys retreat.

Let's age fourteen days.

That's a long time. I would love to be that raw veggies, right, don't'm starving? The experience I think was like that, don't care.

Well, I tell you I came back feeling.

Let's talk about this second marriage.

Okay, okay. So the second marriage was to Brian Gibson. Always do work, by the way, because she works all the time. So that's you're gonna meet some Well, look, I'm not on any boards and all that. You know how people go dating they said, dating sites.

I would be.

Mortified and honestly, but you know, I'm technically a little you know, weak, So you know all that like talking online and all that.

I need to hear a voice. I need to you know, that's true. So and he directed story. Could not stand him.

I could not stand him because it took six months for them to decide who the right Josephine Baker would be, and they passed on me the first time, and because they were going to Irene Cara was going to be the young Josephine and Diane Carroll was going to be the older Josephine, and it was going to be played by two women. And then I don't know how, after months they decided that that wasn't and they asked me to come back in and do a full tilt screen test.

That took six months, six hours.

I remember you said they had to meet you and arrest first.

They had to meet me in a restaurant, because I said, I'm not going back in. I have to do this on my own terms. I'm not going into their office and sit across and be judged upon. If they want to meet me, we have to meet in a restaurant and the table has to be round.

I can't do it. I cannot do it because I died.

I cried myself to sleep so many nights because I believe that I was the right person for I was so so sad. And my agent went to bad for that, and Reuben Cannon, who was a casting director at the time, they worked it through and that's exactly what we did.

That's great that your agent went to bad for you, because the agents would have been like, YO are you bugging like you're crazy. That's good. You must have had a great agent.

Yes, And it was small.

I was with Susan Smith and Peggy that she just said, you're right because they saw all the pain I went through, all the work I went through, you know, producing my own screen test and all that. So I was the one and when we did all the prep and then we went to Budapest is where we shot.

And we went Budapest for three months, and.

We just gained so much respect for each other, right, because marriage is right. You want your husband to be like your protector, right, and he wants you to like help him realize his dreams. So as actress director, he protected my performance and I was able to fulfill his vision of Josephine, and we worked together as such a beautiful team, and so we fell in love doing that.

But that doesn't work.

So once we left bat, we were out of this bubble of work of yes, of what we were creating, because it was just such respect and regard. And then we both came from Oh my god. It was like Adam and Eve after they bit from the apple. It's like, oh my god, we feel naked now we don't have the cover of like a goal. And we were both scared. But within the first three months he was Buddhist and he'd be doing that.

Numb your leo is he's saying, and came down from the from his altar.

I was Christians, was freaking yeah, and he said, there's a little spirit in the universe that wants to come in and we should let it.

Baby, I thought it was entrapman. I said, are you crazy?

This is my first big career opportunity and you want me to I said, absolutely not.

But that's not how God saw it. And it's so so we left Budapest.

We got married three months slater I was pregnant. It was like and then we had Grace and then it was just all the things and all the fear and all the stuff.

So before Grace was one year old, we were separated.

Okay, we both want Emmy's.

We were a Hollywood power couple.

Everybody thought we were so great and so and we just were too scared.

Right, Wow, listen, this is all before social media. Interesting because things play out so differently, Like I'm watching them listening, I can't.

Wait for them.

Then field ain't nobody playing me for a long ass time hard You can forget that, and that's happening. My story is the one folding. Guys, I still have so much to do.

You've done so much that you yes, and the party like, what do you want to do something? Tell us? Tell us manifestation.

I want to do a really hardcore thriller. Okay, not a comedy.

Thriller, but a real thriller.

I can definitely see you do that.

My favorite.

Would you want to be the killer or the killed if you had a choice.

In the or the detective? Maybe both? Oh no, not the detective. And I want to be in it. Yeah, I can for you in it.

And I want to do some kind of sci fi sci fi extra terrestial kind of okay, you know, intergalactic alien.

Can see it.

I can see it.

Yes, I would love that. I want to play them, Adam, Yes, I love.

I because I think that there were certain times in history when women didn't have any options. You couldn't go to school, you couldn't have a bank account, you couldn't vote, you couldn't, you know, either to work.

For somebody else that's why they stayed in their relationships.

Yeah, or work for yourself. And one of the ways you could work for yourself is that.

So I wanted how women use this sexual prowess is in exchange for their freedom, some kind of something interesting, a means of survival, right, because it wasn't always now where they're actually real hard choices.

So I want to play amandam. I can see I've passed. I passed the sex worker face. It would be I don't know Land with Phild I think, well, I don't know.

The Magic City well, and I do want to say, because even your role on the Shy, you have that type of power, you know, as like the dawn, the you know, the boss take care of it.

You know, sometimes people kind of fall into a place of power. And so Alicia, you know, her brother was the one, was really the one, and she was doing all this, but he's gone.

You know, and Rob is you know poor. Don't talk about myself.

I need you to be a nice trying to be a good boy. No, I love That's what I don't want you're talking about it.

I love him. Yeah, she just wants him.

To be and be strongest family. And it's one thing that a.

Parent never wants to think that they might leave this earth and that shall not be strong enough to handle it.

In the process.

That's real.

You got him shot. That's freaking I was so mad.

I am so damn it. You know, I have to just be in it. I can't judge. But you know, when she's over that bed, you know who she feels.

You could see her it's it's about to go down.

So that's what I'm saying. You fall into it because he could have done three more days. Lord, three more days, didn't do it, so that meant that put it back on her, yeah, to do.

So sometimes you fall into having to be and I'm nervous you are and I can't wait.

Well, you fell into it, but you were ready ready, you know, And that's why you always gotta stay ready, so you ain't got to get ready as they say, right, yes, because it's kind of like you know, fate and destiny is balls into your lap because it was meant to be.

Yes, yes like that and things like that. I mean, you know, Alicien them they kind of on the dark side.

But it all through life. Stay ready for the good, for the bad, for the gifts.

Well, I think Victor is going to do it or Alicia do.

What off with?

Oh goodness, you know you're just jumping.

Yeah, trying to make some predictions, trying to figure it out, you know the way they work over there.

You know, I don't even know the spread.

Would y'all be sad to see do to go? Because sometimes I'm not gonna be sad. Sometimes we like the bad guy in the show, Well.

I'm gonna I'm sad to see anybody go. But Douda is a mother fudger.

But it's all. It also makes it interesting.

It does because he does have a so every story is a product of his life, but he has his loyalty is to himself and what he wants. At the end of the day, no matter what his feelings are for anybody around him, he is focused on what it is that he wants.

Anything that he can do to get to that, He's gonna get to it.

But as people like that message, family and baby, whether I or someone is gonna happen.

But she's not gonna give you this, you know, right, You know you shoot all kinds of you don't know what's gonna make it. You don't know what, you know, we all gonna watch it together, but you know I'm gonna be ready for whichever one, whatever it.

Is, whatever it is now, I told you about the Josephine Baker connection, but also Lady May right, May is my meddle name, and May like that. Really yeah it is, so I just you know, I just feel like this connection.

But the few times that we've just hung in the world, I feel a connection.

Yeah, when I tell you, I was first of all, this is crazy to me, but I love it. So tell Grace you know we're sisters now, just so she knows. Now, I want to make sure you understand everybody who's in here. So Ggi has a lot of amazing things happening, and she is also narrating the Magic City documentary docuseries and they got picked up by a major network by the way, So she was in Atlanta.

Yeah.

So when you said you wanted to play a madam if there's a Magic City movie, Pee Valley, one of the main characters was based on Gigi.

Really which you want?

Mercedes really like her storyline is like very very like eighty percent of my real life really you should write the movie honestly, or like I sometimes feel like if you want to.

Roll, you have to create it. You created and you said that, Okay, you have I can see it, like you could even collaborate, have a writer, have writers, but I could see you creating that because that would go.

I don't think.

I think I have to really contribute to the actual story because I I really do understand what it should be.

And Jordan is the last ever Playmate cover Playboy Playmate of the Year cover.

Yeah yeah, and only one of four black women.

Yes, yes, and.

She's right now on Summer House Martha's Vineyard, which actually just it's like Josephine Baker in an episode.

Yeah really yeah, oh congratulations. Yeah, people, you're both telling stories, yes as well.

So what I'm saying is, don't we think that you should create what it is that you want to see? Because I feel like, who wouldn't want to work with you? Who tells you no?

Well, I guess you have to ask to find out.

Nobody's telling you no. I'm just saying, and I would love to see that.

Yeah, I'm gonna that that is it is in my soul so hard.

But when you do it, I'm right now.

I'm following my dreams of being an actress that I've been wanting to do since I was younger, and I just put it out there in the universe.

So if you do that, please do think that.

I said, yeah, Friller, well yeah, we just manifested a whole.

Well, you know like that.

It's been going on for decades and decades and decades and centuries. So before there was a poll, there was still because that's an art form. It no doubt that that's even different than what I'm talking about. The strength and power and all of that.

But the mental because you have to deal with rejection, You have to deal with competition, You have to deal with people frowning down upon you were talking to you, were disrespecting you. You know, you have to always keep your head high and just stick to your goals. You also have to stay away from the bad influences that the club life can bring, like the drugs and the

You know.

One time, I think it was Magic City that I went to one m girl and it was like right after it was like, here's what happened. All of my fin Line fans and ship they started buying me lap dances.

I'm like, wow, you know than.

This is.

I was like, I didn't know that that would be the impact, because you know, you go and in Atlanta, it's like people going to hear jazz.

Yes, yeah, it's so cred about that, RIGHTID It's very much the regular thing to do.

It's just it's the first time Angela came in Magan City. I was in the middle of doing the laft dance and when she walked in, I ran up and hugged her, not thinking in my mind, and I'm completely naked, and she's like, here's what happened.

So they all up on the wall and stuff and going because she was inching over. I mean, I got bought so many left and I was gifting them to people, right and so, and this girl looked down at me and she said.

Oh, miss Whitfield. I said, girl, you working, don't stop now.

It was like, you know and so and then I did talk to you know, and just hearing people's stories because like with me, you know, some women felt compelled to tell me, well.

This is why I'm here.

Story was what completely different, completely everybody's reason is their reason. Exact path that gets them through that door is a different path.

Yeah, it was just really interesting.

So it's one of my fascinations how women have used the themselves as a powerbroker in some kind of way. I mean, I still think it's valid to look at and talk about and tell stories about from different angles and from different points in history.

Well, the thing with the documentary is it's a three part documentaries. It touches on the owner, who is a black man mad the city has been owned by the same black man for going on forty years, to be forty years and twenty five. He did a nine year jail stint in the FES for drug conspiracy, still owns the club. Clearly he has a family. The whole Atlanta hip hop and the whole. Like you know, a lot of hip hop artists careers being started in the strip

Everybody's tweeting about it. Yeah, I still can't.

Even believe that it's you know, this summer. Like literally, the press conference is any day now.

I am waiting on the.

I am literally waiting on the car. I know that production the moment I see one of those numbers pop up on my phone, I know that that very next phone call I get from them is going to be it. Yeah yeah, yeah, So I'm literally just waiting on the call so excited. I'm so just like because for so long as an entertainer, and I was really young when I started, because I was the single parent, and you know, again,

Of it and my group.

Like I initially my phone call was just do an interview, and then the interview turned into narrating. The narrating turned into I have produced a credit.

I said it on the pitch.

I was a part of the pitch so I set in on every single pitch.

Than cheers.

We love to see it and all that you say, it's trying to write your own Yes.

And you know, someone in the industry, in your industry who I enjoy very much is like a big sister to me that I feel would be a great person to maybe go uh work with in that space is Tasha Smith. Tasha, She's an amazing woman. She's an amazing director. She has a dance background from way back in the day as well, and I worked with her on a project that never was released back in like twenty fifteen.

Yeah, And I really feel like that could be.

She's doing great work directed.

Yes, yes, yes, absolutely, I'm telling you, well, listen, I'm excited for everything that everybody here has going on, all the manifestations that happened today. And you know what I wanted to ask you to, would you ever get married again?

If it was like a god thing, if it was you know, I don't feel a need to marry, but if it happened and it was really really really.

Joyful and comfortable and all that, but I still don't really see a need to marry.

But you never know, say never, say never are you dating? I want to do you have any idea?

So I'm doing like the spade.

They didn't think.

They are not.

Okay into She's not even getting on.

It's not on that app it's face to face.

Who you want?

All those people coming and sitting in the see being nervous and going just they would I know.

What miss Lambeckfield needs is to meet somebody in person, through somebody who she knows and respects. And she tried to folks, you know, and I kind of feel like I could see you with like a way way up with Cupid, but like a handsome thirty five year old period giving you know.

I'm not really interested. Didn't pushing it, you know, like I just look at the moat.

You gotta look it down the yes and you know where at the point we had to look for a few they turned quickly.

We have to I don't know, so put it out there in the universe. I mean, forty five would.

Be okay, forty five fair enough, forty five nice? That's oh for you though, that's too o for you. I see thirty five.

I just feel five year old man just to be great energy, the right energy. I like you, right person.

I see somebody taking you on trips flying private.

Are you all listening?

Hello?

Is this thing on?

I think.

Tapping sound check sund checks.

You needs six more weeks in the South of France every summer.

Well, missling with Phil. I am so excited. I cannot wait to see like when we reconvene and maybe like a year and everything is in progress.

My god, you mean to tell me I'm being held accountable.

Because accountable, Yes, we're making this movie. We're making don't figure it out, but it's such a pleasure to have you. We're gonna get together and go see Grace Gibson. We're gonna go see her do and that'll be a good time. I'm gonna said, We're gonna sit some psachy. I'm not gonna act up this time. You're gonna be on shachi. And as soon as I find out, imagine.

She listens, she enjoyed the time with you.

Okay, good, We will definitely keep you.

Yeah, I gotta have you as my special guest at the premiere.

Yes, get her a leftance.

I gotta try this at Homemination was there and they were like, yeah, yo, see I don't trust it because they were like, look, we can to have a time. I already know because that's how we get down ladies.

Well, I've enjoyed it. Such interesting women, and I think we had a very serviceable conversation. I think so for our listeners, I.

Feel like I want to go to Puerto Rica learn. Yeah, definitely want to beautiful.

So much of what we are is what we put in in us, you know, and I.

Know, I mean food.

You know what we eat.

We are okay, you know what I mean.

And sometimes we just have to give up our systems a break from.

All of them, breaking down all of that processed food and all of that. So you're right about that, but I'll tell you.

More about it off offline. Well I know, but I'm not stopped. But I found the thing that worked.

Yea, all right, all right, Well you guys, it's lip service, amazing day. I sheiate it. We appreciate you, we love you, we honor you, we charge listen to have you in our presence.

Thank you