Episode 446: HEAVY (Feat. SiR)

What's up the slip service. I'm Angela, I'm g G Maguire, I'm Storial, I'm sorry. Welcome back, welcome back smoking the.

Building now for reinforcing Inglewood California stereotype.

Man, come on, it's okay?

Is that a serious think?

This is a California californ type.

He was that y'all can smoke here legally? Yeah?

Yeah.

Legal. Smoking was illegal here for the longest because I felt like everybody everybody did anyway, I know what.

It became unspoken rules that you guys just knew. But it was so secretive. That's what I loved about New York. Like the last five years has changed so much. When I first started coming out here, it was like speakeasier everywhere and like secretive when you have weed. It was like shut the fuck up, you know what I mean, that kind of situation. But now it's like, yeah, come on in, we got somebody we can.

Now you can go to the store in the street.

And as it's not as fun now that that is legal to speaking it, you still can't.

We'll figure out. Want to live on the edge. That's a beautiful sweater. I want to say, did that pain come with the sweater or did you add that?

You know, we added this?

Okay, I like that. That gives it a little oof, you know what I'm saying. And sir, listen, it feels like I haven't like seen you well since before the pandemic personally in real life. So how are you feeling because you have a new project Heavy that is coming out.

I feel good. We got two weeks two weeks to today. I feel really good. We put out five singles.

You guys have gotten to see a lot of the new met the new visuals you know, that have been very revealing. And you know, I'm you know, I'm proud of the body of work that we're putting out.

You know what I mean.

I'm proud of myself right now. I'm happy, I'm healthy, you know what I mean. I'm focused, and you know, for the most part.

I'm sober, right for the most part. Well, let's get into that, because I said, how does it feel that also channels Di'angelo? And you did channel di' Angelo somewhat in this in this project? Right? Is that is that fair to say?

Definitely? It's a couple of shout outs to him, some very blatant ones. You know what I mean.

But I've been a fan of his, and you know, I've said it publicly. He's one of the many, you know, people that I look up to in music. And I think there are a lot of moments where I show love to some familiar faces, some artists in this album, and there's some easter eggs that people aren't even gonna really notice.

I got to listen to it more because I only had a chance. You know, they sent us a little advance. Yeah, but we got it right before, so we don't get to Yeah started in nothing even matters because that's a d' angelo favorite with La Hill, and that's a song on here also.

Man, it took me a long time to even like know who produced that and and and know that it was a D'Angel sample. I just was so attracted to the music. I was like, this sample sounds so familiar. I don't know what it is. Somebody had to tell me, and once they did, we started to plan accordingly and make sure that every time we get an opportunity to we show him his respect.

And I used to work for Dangel. Really, Yeah, that's a little fun fact. I didn't know that.

Yeah, I used to work at.

Virgin Records when they started his label, Chieva Sounds. It was like the worst job of my life, No wonder you never talk. But it wasn't because of DiAngelo. It wasn't him. He was It's not like he was in the office ever, but it was while he was on that fitness journey. Mark Jenkins was his personal trainer, and I will tell you he did not show up to the studio, but he showed up to them gym sessions.

Okay.

He would call the office and be like, Angel, could you call Mark and tell him I want to come in this time, and then he would have the studio electric lady was locked out. But he would never show up to the studio sessions and he wouldn't let them hear his music. And that's when I met Anthony Hamilton because Anthony Hamilton was one of his backup singers. Wow you know at the time. And that's when Angie Stone was on the road with him and they ended up

That's crazy.

And here's the fun fact. He was a big fan of porn. So I remember when he was moving they had me go to like help facilitate. He wasn't there, but like you know, the moving and everything, and he found all his DVDs. It was DVD's for sure, like a ben Yeah, wow, fun fact.

I was at that video how does it feel video?

You were there?

I went to I went to that video shoot.

I was at Love to Know.

You know, we stayed for a second. I only actually went with j Dilla. Okay, yeah, we stayed for like a second.

He was in zone. We were all hanging out and yeah, that's a low.

Key flex right there. Yeah, have you seen that's a flex?

How was it for you doing your video?

By the way, because I was at bud Necker, so it wasn't I mean, And I'm proud of my body.

I put a lot of work in.

I did a lot of the working out by myself, like with my brother and my nephew, and we trained six days a week. I have a nutritionist name is Kevin Henderson. He does a lot for me. But like I did a.

Lot of it.

I don't have no personal trainer.

I don't have nobody like Mark Jackson Johnson you know what I mean.

You know what I mean. I work out.

I work out with kid when I can but I really can't afford him. I can only afford to keep him as my nutritions. So, you know, for the most part, over the last year, I've been doing a lot of my own stuff.

I do sprints, I do bark, I do extra work at home, you know what I mean, just to get like this.

I'm thirty seven, I'm not no kid, no more so it's hard to stay like that. And a lot of it is done in the kitchen, which I'm a foodie. I like fried chicken, I like to cook. I like you know, going and eating out, eating big. So lately I've been eating like salmon, zucchini, protein.

You make it sound so boring.

It's so fucking.

Salmon too, But it is all yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's the portions for me to fuck me up. Like I'm eating three on the calorie meals.

You know what I'm saying.

You gotta do that four times to day. Two protein shakes, no salt, no carbs.

How was it when you first started, no frost, nothing, How hard was it when you first started? And did you like backslide a few times?

Definitely?

It took it took like four months before I actually saw my abs and another three months before I was actually like shredded, and then I started to lose muscle because I couldn't keep up with the die. You know, I was skipping meals to keep the shred. So now I'm in this state where I look good, but I need to gain weight to.

Do it all over again. So I'm bulking. I've been eating like crazy in New York.

I love It's good.

Yeah.

Yeah, I had carbone in the Barclays Center.

Oh that's because they have the Crown Room.

Lillow tiny room. Somebody was like, yeah, this carbone. I was like, no, he sat down and we ate and.

Take some stuff to go to. Yeah, because you were at the Brooklyn nescame. I had no idea you were a Nuts fan.

Yeah, go Lakers, don't don't.

It was good to see Schroder, who used to play on the Lakers. And it's my first time seeing Michil Bridges play live. I'm a big fan of his, you know what I mean. I'm a fan of the NBA.

You don't know that. You know, got to play an All Star with kids.

I saw you, you know what I mean, telling up your muscles playing body. Oh my god, Now let's get into some things though, because you know, you started over on your Instagram page, right, and it's like a fresh start for you. But you've been through a lot these past few years that people may not have even known what's happening. Yes, so you know, I know it's something that and I feel like it's reflected in the music well,

Oh? Man?

It just started off as as you know, me, kind of not really knowing how to navigate the whole being served. I hate being sir sometimes, you know what I mean. More So nowadays I'm more accepting of it, I would say, because I have a different understanding of who it is and what it does for me and my family. But when it all started, I just was lost, lost in the sauce. I like that phrase and it started affecting my relationships. I wasn't talking to anybody about it, and

I got caught. I ain't gonna lie.

But once I did get caught, and it was the cat was out the bag and it was official that I was fucked up. And you know, we started to work on the steps, you know, and I did the work.

And what do you mean you got caught?

Oh? Man, I had a surgery. Right, let's just say I had a surgery.

And before you go into anaesthesi you have to tell the doctor what you've been on with kind of drugs you've done over the last seventy two hours. And I had to write that shit down, so I don't get my DC power. I don't say it live, I won't say it to y'all, but I had to write that shit down, Memma. If he came in the room, my wife's sitting.

Next to me, was like, so, you drank some alcohol, smoked some weed, pomps and pills, did this and that, and she was and she was like, excuse me, and I said, yes, He's like okay, cool, thank you. I walked out the room.

And of course after that, you know, it wasn't There was no keeping of the secret. I was already like sick around the house and she thought it was something else, but it was me just trying to recover from the night of me doing drugs all night.

And this all like, you had your first child together, so this is all happening with the baby, and she probably was already dealing with a lot maybe when.

It came to that, but yeah, definitely not for sure.

And I mean just trying to navigate it while we're trying to get me sober, because she was pregnant when all this was happening. So as soon as we found out during her pregnancy, I tried to go.

I went to rehab. Sucked horrible, you know what I mean. For the first you know, for the first time was like three weeks. It went well, you know what I mean.

I got out, got high immediately right second time lasted six months. I did great, did all the steps, you know, got got past the worst of it, relapsed this time.

I didn't go back to a normal rehab though.

Me and Top kind of came up with a plant, like tuck me to the side and like take my phone, take my car, take my keys.

Oh wow, you really really well know, let's sit here for a year and a half. Let's sit here. I got the time, we got the time.

And you got And you know what's great about that, because some people would be concerned about the music, like you got to put something out. It's hot right now.

Forever, nigga. I'm not.

I'm not talking nigga that makes music because it's a fad. I do this because I'm connected to God. Yeah, it's different. So Top's not gonna just put some bullshit out and he's definitely not gonna let me put the gold out while I'm not able to present it or represent myself.

How did Top Dog find out to him and tell him or did he he knew?

Hef top new before Kelly?

Did top knew a long time ago? But topic you know, you know, it probably wouldn't help me. Top was very gentle about this, And I mean, we come from a place where this is normal. Niggas don't know me like that. They hear my music and I think I'm this thing. I'm a nigga from the streets. Fuck you don't don't put no box on me. You don't know where I come from. You don't know that I both my parents

You know, you also come from a family of people in the music business right too, and so it kind of a lot of times in the music business that just kind of does exist too. You know in general.

Yeah, and I think it amplifies it. It And to me, we talked about this all the time. I was talking with Sway earlier about this, like, we don't, we don't, We're not for this kind of attention, you know.

What I mean. And it's it's it's only until you.

Get it that you realize there's a certain way you have to be and I have to act. And when you see people succeeding in the music industry and actually succeeding in life, they're following those rules. And it's simple, you know what I mean. It's it should be built into your strategy. Routine is a that's the most important thing. I mean, well, hallelujah, God is the most important thing, right, Routine is second. Let's stop there. Yeah yeah, but you know,

Is special, you know what I mean. I'm not.

I'm not special. Being sir is special. That job is great. I got hired to do it. I am nothing but the man that is hired to be sir, I'm Daryl Fairs. When I leave, I'm Sir Darryl at the house. But I'm supposed to be home, you know. And this album just really goes through the motions of the last.

Four years for me. It talks about everything.

You know what I mean, And what was the first song that you wrote that was on here?

Woo heavy yourself? I've been killing myself softly wakeing of remembering. I'm losing sleep over dreams that were coming true. I was tweaking when I wrote that song, Wow Wow, scared out of my mind.

I didn't want to talk to nobody about it, wanted to just just I wanted people to know. Though people heard that song and still didn't get it. Though some days I'm just fine with except that I won't change and maybe a little more time before I get sick of these games, might as well enjoy this ride. I'm the passenger of my own ship, auto pilot and game changing, hanging out the window this whole trip, like I.

Was talking like crazy. I was talking about me getting doped up and not.

You know, because people also had no idea what you were going through. And that's why once you know that, it connects it you know a lot better because clearly, like before we got this, I knew you knew, yeah, having this journey. But if I would have heard that, I would have just thought you were being very creative, creative right right.

And it's a beautiful song.

That's I think that's the real the what we wanted to work in with the juxtaposition between you know, what we're actually saying and what you're hearing. So it sounds really fluffy and very nice, but I'm talking the work just cut off of three.

Day venders still enjoying a ride.

And I was just thinking, like he just was drinking a lot. Like when I heard that, I was like, okay, but three days as a bender even drinking is a lot.

I've been talking my shit up and I respect to and I say this is a weird thing to say, but respect to alcoholics and people in recovery, any type of DC. Don't think drinking is something that you should pass over and look like and not to say, y'all having fun right now is something that you got to worry about. But like for an alcoholic, a real alcoholic who those motherfuckers.

Are scared reap you read about that, Yeah.

Look you know, alcohol is not to be fucked with, you know what I mean. And it's just like any other thing. Marijuana can be an addiction. It's not my addiction. It's my pleasure. It's something I enjoy. I'm not like, oh weed here, I gotta smoke all the time. I just like it, you know what I mean. And it's the thing that I do that doesn't harm my path, my life.

It doesn't affect anything.

It makes me a better version of myself in instances where I needed to.

It doesn't do what you know it does to weed heads.

How often do you smoke?

Probably like four.

Or five days a week, you know what I mean. Not every day and definitely not like I used to. I used to try to smoke to go to sleep.

It didn't work. I used to Yeah, no, no, no.

I know people who wake up and before they brush it. Yeah yeah yeah, And I'm like, you got it.

They just smoke all.

And it's an expensive habit yeah oh yeah, because you can't smoke no trash.

Yeah, now, CALLI is a little cheaper, That's what I was gonna say.

Super expensive. So you know, I definitely keep weed on me for sure.

Can we talk about the song only human, Yeah, because you know, I feel like only human is what guys say when they mess up to you, like to women, like, look, I'm a human, I'm a work in progress. You know I'm talking about to me, I.

Thought it was a vivid way to paint, you know, my infidelities, that's all.

And really that's an eight year old song. Was crazy about that. As I wrote there, before I did anything or made any mistakes or anything like that. It was just I was like, this would be a cool way to say I cheated.

Wow, and regret it. I really regret that.

I regret writing it in certain moments because it's it's just it was me.

It was me. It's not me anymore.

I definitely you know, I have a gracious wife. I'm still with my wife.

You know that's amazing. Yeah, you hear here, let me tell you. And I also want to say that, like, even before this album, you did talk a lot about the struggles of being on the road and being faithful.

And you know, I fought the good fight. I ain't gonna lie to you. I tried my damn this. But when we talk about like, man, where I've been to, what I've seen and the opportunities I've had in my life. It's like nothing you'll ever get like and and man, people like that attention, people like that energy, and it's it's hard to stay focused, it really is. You have to you have to be ground dead. And I was not, you know, I was not and learned some hard lessons.

It was not games.

And you know, I've been showing a lot of grace and that's what I That's what I want to.

Show anybody else that's going through anything like that, you know what I mean.

I just want to show them love and grace because hopefully they you know, they have somebody like I do on their side, you know what I mean.

I'm blessed and I know it.

You felt like it was going to be over, Like was she ever like.

We were done? Yeah? We were done. We were done.

How did you get back? Because that's one thing that guys always trying to figure out time.

I've known this one since I was fifteen, you know what I mean. So it's different.

Then, and there was never a time where we weren't gonna be co parents, so you know, our emotions were kind of like set to the side really quickly, hard to kind of hide and spilt right on over into the bedroom and we.

Just that can patch things up way right back.

No, no, no, just a lot of it was conversation, like and painful conversation, but definitely that room.

You know what that is so crazy because guys would tell you that is like the most passionate sec use, but they go up. It's very toxic, you know. That's what y'all do, whatever you gotta do. It's all about pleasing, makes good and going and saying all the right things.

Ext I definitely like I've broken down so many times I can't count, and my wife has seen the ugliest side of me, you know, and I think I think that kind of vulnerability is.

It's it's hard to.

It's hard to it's hard to accept, but it's hard not to accept, like when somebody's that truthful.

You know what I mean. I was, I was blatant, I was ugly and was sick all at the same time. I was an anecdote. All during all this, you know what.

I mean, And that was the biggest part of my addiction. I'm a god fearing, god feeled man. So to have stepped out of my house because I thought I had something that I didn't or it was was somebody that I wasn't was not sitting well in my spirit, and the only way that I was like getting through getting by was self medicating.

Was this during the pandemic too? Yeah, okay, the pandemic.

So I was stuck at the crib.

I was literally lived downtown, was going down to my parking lot car and just doing my thing for hours on end, for days on end. She was knocked out in the bed, didn't know I was downstairs in the living room while she was sleep doing my thing, going crazy.

How much of a role did that the pandemic play in this too, because.

No idea knew that it fucked everybody up, but didn't know that. It was like weighing so heavy on what was going on with my own personal challenge, But looking back, it was, oh man, COVID was hard.

Cold. That COVID period was hard.

Because there's also a time where you got to be out making money, on the road things are hot, yep. And then now everything hadn't been used to being home.

Right, and I was downtown in La too.

But the thing about me, though, I was slick as fuck, so I wasn't like I never felt that kind of pressure. I got what I needed, I got an nowhere to go. No, no, no, I had money.

That's the thing, y'all gotta remember, like I was, sir. So it wasn't getting getting drugs or getting.

What I needed was easy for show outn't pay niggas rent for show out and bought a Porsche Panama with a dope for show.

I didn't lost it all. Y'all don't understand.

I was an added that I wasn't no like, no, no, it wasn't no little thing it was.

And the thing, like you said, you are sir, So was it also embarrassing that like these people are serving.

You smoke smoke?

Yeah, oh yeah, it wasn't embarrassing. Oh man, I didn't care.

I didn't because, like you know, I'm giving, sir.

But they treated me like they loved me. Why would they not.

I'm keeping the block hot, why would they not? Yeah, I got the money they want, Why would they need, not.

What they need.

I feel like some people think that's a rock star thing too. Like I feel like in the music business you do stuff like that and it's not as frowned upon because it's like rock star vibes like.

And if that is true, I'll be the first to stand up against it because that I mean, I definitely didn't have didn't get that feeling from the people around me. People around me want to be to be healthy, you know what I mean.

I definitely wasn't encouraged or pushed in the direction I was pushed.

This was a choice I made on my own.

Well no, but sometimes people just kind of accept it more when you know it's because they're like, yeah, you know, sir right again, but you know, he is a artist.

I think that's more. I think that's more people that see it don't want to talk about it. That isn't anyone's fault. That is that's that's more of the addicts fault. Drugs are never the fault of somebody that's watching it happen, especially somebody that doesn't understand. I appreciate you for saying that, because this point is very poignant. You don't blame somebody for non understanding. You don't if somebody's watching somebody get high and they're.

Like, what the fuck is going on?

They don't know what drug they're using, they don't see them in jesting it. They don't they don't actually know what's going on, but they feel it in their spirit.

You can't be mad at that person. You got to be mad at that. You gotta be mad at the motherfucker's trying to hide it and trying to act normal and trying to be mad at that.

But don't be mad at the person that's trying to figure out what the fuck's going on.

And that brings us to this song Trying my heart is.

That song makes me cry.

Fucking was gonna say, I can see it.

Is okay, but like performing it live. I've tried to rehearse it in live and mark two seconds inn and definitely wrote that after the second relapse I was talking about so the first time around.

Definitely lost my shit.

Three days after I got out of the door second time, after a long period of not messing up, I messed up and I wrote that song. I'm trying my hardest plent to sy give it time, hope that it grows energy is hard to find. I know that you know promises I want to keep in keeping me down, but I know how I would feel if I can't keep you around. So I meditate, got my mind focused on you.

Change your pace. It ain't a race.

I'm chasing the truth, sick of all the pain that I've been putting you through. I keep getting it wrong, but I know that I'm trying my hardest. I wish more people really like read lyrics and paid attention. Whate motherfuckers were saying, if they pay attention to what I'm actually saying on this, they'll, they'll, they'll.

That sounds to me really touched me too, though, just actually knowing what you went through and knowing that it's probably the especially towards it's also towards the end of the album, and so knowing that, like you've done the no Evil six whole Days, six whole Days, which is just you on that song, and you're talking about just looking at the sun, and so basically you've been up.

And so that song represents a bad time.

I was just telling somebody that was I.

Was going through it when I wrote that song, just after the last Relapse. It was just a day that had been way too long, and I was in my mother's backyard just looking up at the sky and that that idea came and I sang it to my mom as a joke and she laughed, and then I just went inside and actually like kind of jotted it down.

Yeah, and it worked out. It turned out. That's uncle playing bass, that's my mom singing about Wow. Me and cale Banks shout out to.

Cow and definitely my uncle Andrew is like he's a god of base. He's a god of gospel based people know him. We our careers started from the Q base that he gave us and the Excel board that he gave us back in the day. He gave us everything that we've ever worked on, all the equipment and always put you know, our careers first, you know what I mean.

Love him to death.

So anytime I get an opportunity to work with him, I do. And he's like excited to work with me, which is crazy, Like hello, what he's like sixty hours, Like sixty one I believe. But you know, I still see him as the young who like driving a Porsche Uncle Andrew tour in the world musician, you know what I mean, And the like that song in particular is a blessing to have on the roster because I got so many family members attached to it.

On that too, my brother Dave.

So y'all got like it is. I really like that. You know, how hard is it too, even when you're listening to this album knowing what you are going through, you know on so many of these songs, like and I know you're planning a tour so you'll be performing this.

I mean, this is this is the most emotional I'll ever be, for sure.

It's I mean, it's difficult listening back. But I'm not in the place anymore. I don't I don't go there anymore. I'm I'm stuck in my routine. I'm focused on the right things, and I know what I have to do. I have to sing it.

I have to sing it.

For your wife to hear some of this.

She don't listen to it. Wow, we don't listen to it. And I don't play in my house. I don't force it on you know what I mean. I ain't gonna do that. It's no point.

I gotta listen.

I have to listen to What are the rules now? With everything that you guys have been through things change in the household, right, and there are certain things that you have to, like really continue to prove yourself.

One of the biggest things that we do is we keep a very very open been in the line of communication, like.

Calls whenever calls all the time. We have fun with it. I actually enjoy it, like more than she does.

I call her all the time, like what I love to I'm in the background, and we just talked constantly. And of course, you know, I got open phone privileges, which you know, was never really a big thing in our relationship. She's never wanted to check my phone, but nowadays she can grab my phone ever she.

Wants to look through it. Of course, everything's cool, you.

Know, and just a lot of prayer and a lot of like rough conversations, you know, we don't have them too much anymore, but a lot of rough me saying stuff that I should have said a long time ago, stuff she don't want to hear, and me, you know, trying to talk.

Through things that she needs from me and figure things out. A lot of tough conversations.

Does she want to know everything you did? Because I know sometimes okay, some people want to know, like Kim help you went through it went through? Did you want to know it all?

When I was going through it, I was looking for answers, right, like so like the the I think for me, the why of it all was really the answer.

That's a huge thing because the why attached to the why is like his.

Emotions, right, you know what I mean?

Like what am I doing wrong? It comes first, That's what she think, Kelly. I'm just speaking from my wife. I know there's probably some similarities, but like what she thought?

What am I doing wrong? What did I do wrong? You know what I mean? Or like where's his head been?

Like how did he get to the point where do we miss where he got to the point where he thought he needed this as his outlet?

You know what I mean?

And it's not exactly but the kind And this is one of those tricky conversations where it's it's it's so much deeper than that and bigger than that, but it's it's a whole different mindset, and especially me being served, my mindset was not that It wasn't that I was falling in love at all.

In any instance. My heart was never the thing that was in it.

It was in addiction and be an emotional like almost released, like there was no emotion.

Attached to disconnect.

It was a disconnect.

It was the exact opposite, you know what I mean, And I don't you know, say that's for everybody, you know, that was your situation.

That was my situation where I was, I was disconnecting.

And what did her fan? Did her family know what was going on? And where they like, I'm sure they know now, Okay now, because sometimes people share too much and then it kind of can ruin.

This ain't nobody business with mine? No, at the end of the day, Like that's what me and Kelly do know. And that's this is a mistake that a lot of people make, is they bring people into these situations.

Nobody has any word or say, in.

My eye, we got fists for you, I got fisticuffs for you.

Nobody has any word in our situation.

Did y'all do like any type of therapy, couple's therapy or nothing?

We did an individual therapy, okay, individuals for sure, Yeah, a couple therapy.

We've talked about it, prayed about it.

How was therapy for you?

Great?

Wonderful, very eye opening, very self revealing, Like how mag oh, my gosh. I learned a lot about like forgiveness in my therapy, you know, self forgiveness huge radics. We don't know how you know what I mean. That's one of our first problems is not being able to talk about it and not be able to move past it, able to forgive ourselves for the things we've done, because a lot of it's like things we don't talk about, like

She's great.

You think you're addicted to the gym.

Now I know. I'm addicted to them.

It's not a bad addiction. But not all addictions are bad, No.

No, for sure. For sure. I used to be addicted to gummy bears, you know what I mean. I much rather be addicted to sprints.

Man. I used to always eat gummy beers from the stomach first. Is that crazy? The stomach. When I was little, I used to eat the stomach and why vended? And then I would do that and act like they were in pain.

Would you like to talk?

You talk to them before you did, and then they would look very like distorted, you know, it would.

Look like screaming and the hurt.

I really killed this gummy beer stomach first.

I think mutilated stomach off of gummy bears.

I was the next time I eat a gummy beer, I want.

To do that.

I want to talk to like, what's your last word?

I think you're gonna live?

Now that's weird.

Okay, so gummy bears beers, and now you're to zucchini. Actually I love I love zucchini too. But the way he said like salmon zucchati, you.

Know, I think I was switching at all. Right, So I eat according to like my blood type and your blood low cor uh?

Oh unusual? Wasn't that like the most unusual?

Positive?

Negative?

Your oh? Positives? Pretty common?

Pretty comb is the most.

Baby My daughter has a.

Really Oh do they ask her to get blood all the time? Not yet they will as an adult every month. You know, Okay, you're a positive.

Yeah?

Oh wow, you know our diets are so different, like what our bodies digest and how it digests are very similar.

So I can't. I've told her I can't do red meat. I can, but it's not yeah you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I can do beef. You can do lamb.

Lamb is great for us. You know, salmon's great for us. Any kind of white fish is great for us. Chicken, no, fried chicken. Chicken is neutral, which is crazy.

Love.

I love chicken. Dark meat not so much, you know, I mean too much. Fact. Yeah, but avocados bad for us.

I've never heard avocado a lot of I love ala.

I just had avocado for the first time. I don't but it doesn't. Yeah, I don't like it.

You don't. You guys are weird.

Yeah, I don't. I'm like a superrigy eater. I just had it for the first I don't like the consistency, I don't like the texture.

My daughter, the first I would try to give it to her, she made this face that I will never forget. It was like it was like the face like was like, why hast out forsaken?

How did life change after? I mean, I know you were going through a lot, like while your wife was pregnant, but you have a daughter. You know what were some great moments from having a little girl?

Oh Man, one of the best was like her first time walking.

She started walking when she was like a year and like a month.

Little girls walking earlier than boy.

But I mean, I just I just know that from the time she started walking, it was almost like she started running the next day.

She's the fastest person in our house.

And like we talk about lely because she she's a toddler, full on tiller now but likes to like do this thing where you say come here, and she says and.

Goes the opposite direction. One of the favorite games to play.

But she's like a football Like she's like a wide receiver. How she dodges and jukes. You reach for her shoulder drops, she moves back. She's just the jukester. She's like she's the swiftest like ninja that I've ever met in my life. And you know, just our conversations are sweet. That the most innocent things I've ever had my life.

And she's she's three now, so that's she's in school. That's a good age. And everything you say and you could tell that they really understand you. Know everything, body train, and.

Yeah, we're we're definitely at the stage where we're like considering another baby and like, you know time, I definitely what I would take another girl in a heartbeat.

That's one of those choices that I would never ever want to make or make a face about. I'd be happy with anything. Man.

You know, me and my wife been together a long time. We was trying to have kids in our twenties. You know, we were blessed with a kid in our in our you know what I mean. So to have another one, what a miracle. You know, what a miracle.

Y'all have been through so many You've been through so much. Honestly, I'm so happy that you're in this space that you're in right now. How long has it been since you've been pretty much.

Sober and going on? Four months or three months?

Okay?

Yeah?

Man, all this was like happen it in twenty twenty It's twenty four, right, Yeah.

So the worst of it was over in twenty twenty two.

When did you get comfortable talking about it?

What's today? Over the last like six months, you know what I mean, I've.

I've had a few chances to talk about it in private, that kind of helped me get ready to talk about it in public, talk about it with some people that I wanted to talk about it with, nephews, uncles, aunts, you know, people that knew but didn't know, had heard but hadn't seen, or wasn't sure, wasn't sure.

Is there anything that is there anything that you think that anybody could have said to you that would have mattered, because I know a lot of times there's a lot of people that are you know, dealing with somebody close to them and are trying to figure out how to navigate. But sometimes like I don't know if there's nothing you can say or is there anything that you feel like could have helped.

I mean, people tried, but I think.

One of the main things that I've learned is, you know, the first thing is you have to want to help yourself.

You know what I mean?

You can't yeah, and someone's not ready, they can't receive that.

You have the strongest support system around you. But if you're not ready to make the steps, nothing's gonna change.

Did it make you duck people if they were trying to talk to you.

Yeah, I remember one time in particular, being mood. Laugh at this now but Musa who being Musa fucking which we had to meet in at Apple and I had a brand new car. I just bought a car, brand new Tesla and a man, I just was not in any position to show up to this meeting.

And I called Mouse. I was like, hey, man, I'm.

Sorry, bro, but I got a flat tire. I'm stuck on the side of the road. Man, I can't They're not gonna be able to get to me for another hour. I'm not gonna make it. He's like, all right, you want me to reschedule? Okay, bye, hung up the phone, turned my phone off, and just continue to do some bullshit and.

That kind of stuff. Now it's like funny to think about. But yeah, I've been through a lot, man.

Yeah, And so when is the tour going to start? He's like, I don't know, July.

With July August where we're playing dates right now. We're still trying to figure it out.

But man, when I tell you got to see Sarah perform, and I gotta go, I have not pretty good you know, I don't be outside like that.

I definitely went to I had to, you know, and this was gonna be a lot different I'm simplified things. I think I've grown a lot of my artistry as a person. You know, I definitely want to, you know, make sure that the tour is proper this time around, the last time I wasn't even so, I wasn't so all the way sober on tour.

I mean it was, I mean I couldn't tell so nobody.

Yeah, yeah, it was the beginning of the end for me. But still this time around, I know I'm a lot I've been focused a lot more on my vocal. I've been doing a lot more singing, you know, I've been doing a lot more cardio. It's a lot more personal work, you know what I mean. So I'm excited to show this version of myself.

You have your shirt off.

They pay me extra make now have you.

Have you spoken to DeAngelo at all?

Never? Not a once.

I feel like that could happen though, Like have you tried or figured?

No?

No, no, no, I barely man the features that I got on my my gcause they the hummies.

I don't be reaching out.

So Anderson Pack, I love that song.

My bros man.

Yeah, he's single now and probably Jesus.

Man, I'm always praying for him. Man, that's a good friend of mine for sure.

He was talking about his Vegas residency. Ain't it crazy how these Vegas residencies are no joke right now? Like we need to be. It used to be like Vegas residency. You looked at it like okay, you know this person. But now it's like it's.

Yeah, it used to be strikes.

Yeah, I mean Celine Dion had like that Vegas residency that was you know, but it wasn't for us necessarily right. And then when we had a chance to see like you know, Bruno Mars and Anderson Pack and Wu Tang and now jo Toasy and new addition Usher really changed the game.

Yea did change the game?

You know.

Did you see that show?

You know it's crazy. I did not, Okay, and I can't.

I didn't.

I want to see new additions and I want to see, yes, new editions in Vegas now.

Yeah, I can't wait.

That might be a good date night for you. Give me something to do, go right on down to Vegas.

We have to take our daughter as we got no baby shitter nobody.

You don't let nobody watch the baby. But you guys have family members.

Yeah, sure, sure, it's not thing you.

All at those parents like nobody's.

I mean my mom for sure, but we don't you know, push that on her. Would love to though she loves to.

No, she does ever softer, But my my daughter doesn't like go hang out and spending the night at other kid's house.

Is that not you know I was talking about.

That's so I think that's the first kid thing.

Yeah, yeah, we did that.

That was like, oh, it's my first kid. By the time y'all get to the third baby, you're gonna.

Be like, yeah, is there anybody that can take this child?

The one time we did it, this was like a couple of weeks ago. I swear to god, we tried it out. We send it to our sister's house, send her to Dan's wife and uh you know, Ange's sweetest part.

They have great relationships. There are other kids at the house.

Man brought my daughter back sick oft dog and my wife has been sick for two weeks.

Yep.

Well you know them kids always get when they go to school, especially oh.

My god, this was serious. Those one of those like whooping coughs.

Yeah, you know what I mean. They come back with all types of six.

My parents would never let me spend the night at anybody's house growing up, But everybody used to spend the night at my house.

Come on over, our house is clean. We'll keep you clean and send you home clean.

He's not going to get cleaner.

Yeah, and we learned our lesson.

I feel like that was like, I mean, it was important for us to try, for sure, but we understand with our daughter, especially like she's not you know, no, she's not ready for that.

You know, That's how I was with my daughter. I'm telling right now, I don't know where my kids at right now, I'm like, where, Well, your.

Kids wrong though I feel like they yeah, they.

Can, but when you have your third kid, you're like, I tried, I did everything.

You know what I wanted to ask you to. With so many conversations about marriage now and people being like off of it, like I don't know if I need to be married, tell us why it was important for you to be married and why marriage is important to you.

Ah, man, that's a good question.

When I first got married, I probably wouldn't have been able to tell you that answer.

But marriage is important to me.

Now because it's a real agreement, not just between me and my wife.

Up between me and my God, my family, you know what I mean. And I.

Love this woman that way, you know what I mean. A lot of people get married for the wrong reasons. But I love this woman more than I love anything, and should be able to show her that with some simple steps. Being married is a small step, just a part of the contract. Doing the work is the hard part, you know. But I'm proud to be her husband. And I lived my life like that.

You know.

I was sold when you said she had phone privileges, because let me just tell you something. The phone and these men with the face down phone right.

And the and the protective speed, the protective and the dn D.

I let me tell you something.

Your phone ain't ringing?

His phone is it announces the person's name out loud and somebody cross him.

That's funny. Phone ringing twelve The phone.

Been silent for twelve egg, no one calling you because every time I called you always on the phone.

And then having any phone right here and next to them, the phone sleep with the phone. That's the best feeling. When you're in a space where you can have my code, I'm not doing nothing and I'm not like that's a different feeling in a relationship.

You know, I think my wife is is never She's never been the type to even want to be all in my ship like that, you know, and still is, you know what I mean. But needed to feel comfortable, you know what I mean, And that she took time. Fuck man, it was a long time where she felt the need to go.

Through my phone.

But I was gonna say, she probably don't even look at your phone now because.

She phone mins my daughter's right.

Nobody like, what's what's hiding?

Yeah, she ain't not known Nickelodeon, nickelodeon.

You know.

You know how many guys have gotten cauck because their kids was on their phone and then the baby mom grabbed the phone while it was unlocked.

Yeah, is that a thing.

That's a thing.

I'm glad I don't have to worry about. That's yeah.

Oh my god, opening the phone face. I d want to sleep.

Like yo, that's cool.

Oh yeah, if you did get caught, how did you get caught?

I talked about it.

That was one thing that that it was never you know what I mean. Of course she's seen some text messages.

She should up next message, you know for sure.

One time it was an iPad like she was on my iPad and went through my messages on my iPad, which are always you know, when I thought I was being slick and deleted on my phone.

Yeah, you can look there on my phone if you want. But yeah, I didn't know they stayed.

They wasn't up on technology.

Nothing is not a good liar.

Yeah, those men aren't. I'm gonna say that most mens can't lie. They can't like people can tell you.

Women are sneakier than men, for sure.

I'm much better at being honest now. And you know she's she's not stupid, you know what I mean.

It didn't take long before things was a mess, and you know, we needed our time in our space and I worked through my ship, she worked through hers, and we met in the middle and started over.

It was definitely a blessing for y'all.

What song would you say on the album is about her brighter? The last song it feels that's like a gospel type of feel to it.

Definitely, definitely, But yeah, it's an old tar relationship, you know what I mean. Things are heading in the right direction, and that's what the album is. You notice we're starting a real bullshit place with something like ignorant and we end up in a beautiful place with ignorant journey.

It gets real heavy right after that, too.

Well, listen, I appreciate you so much for coming through. This is really like, I feel like we could talk to you for as money long as say yeah, I get to ask this ahead, Yeah, whatever you need.

Your mom sings back back up for Michael Jackson, that's true.

Did you ever meet Michael Jackson? Because I'm obsessed.

Never Now, one of the coolest things about being in a musical family.

I'll leave you out with this story.

This was one of the coolest things that ever happened my mom's sixtieth birthday. Now, mind you, My mom grew up listening to you know, the great Stevie Wonder, Prince Michael Jackson, and idolized Stevie Wonder in particular. For her sixtieth birthday, my brother Daniel got Stevie Wonder to pull up to her birthday party, wow and play my Sherrier more Oh my God, sang Miss Jackie onay. I had

Know what I mean.

And you were in the studio with Stevie Wonder.

Yeah, a couple of times.

Are we ever going to hear any of those sessions?

No?

No, never. You need to get us some cool things, not the stuff. No, No, you should ask him.

You know.

One of the cooler things that that I've done was was, you know, work with Jill Scott and that's when I met Stevie.

And so the first time I met him wasn't even the studio session.

He just came to see miss Jill and literally picked up a lap steal and played it and sang songs in the quil life, like six different songs on the lap steal.

STEVEE wonders. I hate to be that guy to do the example, but that's how.

Definitely like that, like skillfully too, just like man when he said, at my mother sixty it.

Ste Wonder what I've met Stevie Wonder once. It was we were interviewing Hillary Clinton and it was her birthday and he came and saying happy birthday. I just want to say, that's a flex Now. I would rather have had my mom, you know what I'm saying, have him say mushry or more from my mind, that would have been even better. But you know, I take what I can get. Yeah, And so that was that was super exciting for me. Man. Listen, honestly, sir, I have always,

Sure, and I'm happy to share the story.

I know a lot of people like are ashamed of themselves and don't know how to talk about it. That's a big thing in the community, like talking about it, you know what I mean. But I'm definitely trying to help the next person. I'm not trying to like hide my story because my tragedy can be, you know, help for somebody else. I'm trying to turn my tragedy into a testimony for sure.

And what's great is it feels like a happy ending. Not like that, but yeah, I know it's service but he likes hand jobs again. But it feels like a happy ending because you are still with your wife, you know, and you do have a body of work that you were able to put together even at times when you were at your you know, at your worst, and now you're going on tour and you know. So I'm looking forward to seeing the Are doubt me? Okay, Well, don't

Will love Kelly. Y'all ain't gonna ever meet her, but y'all love her.

Yes, we will be right up here on this count.

I think so.

Thank you so much, sir. We appreciate you so much. And congratulations on everything, and I'm so glad that things right now are brighter.

Thank you for having me.

Yes, congratulations, it's lift service