Episode 248: Doc n da Dude (Feat. Dr. Kendell and Kainon Jasper)

they've never had to deal with before. You know. Just recently, I had a woman crawling to the show that's going through a breakup. Found out her husband had a side a piece and she was really going through it. So people are discovering all kinds of things right now, right, Yeah, And he discovered He's gonna discover some things too, right, Wait, discover more than that. You're gonna You're gonna discover that. You know, he ain't the only one. There's always two

sides of the stories. That's why you gotta hear it all. And sometimes people tell you a lot of things but that they didn't mention in the first go around and they caught up in their feelings. It's all hid it. When you settle them down, the truth really comes out. Wow. Well, you know, it is a tough time for relationships right now. We've been hearing that people are in the house with each other discovering they don't lucky to each other as much when they have to spend so much time together.

So should people be considering breaking up or is this something where you know you kind of should wait until this pandemic is over with all this addage, stress and anxiety. Wow, well some people shouldn't. Some people really knew they should have broke up a long time ago, right, So you know this is just you know, exacerbating the situation that already existed, right, and it's just making it worse. So,

you know, obviously things are at a stand still. So the formality of a breakup or divorce or leaving separation, Um, you know, I can't really go through you can't commit

to something like that. But obviously people have to identify and decide what kind of relationship we're gonna have moving forward, right and and hopefully having honest discussion about what type of relationship we're gonna have moving forward, is this gonna be uh you know, I'm we're gonna sleep in separate bedrooms type of situation right on some real you know, I'm not just gonna say black people ship because because other people do it too. Real, Yeah, other people do

it too like you know, look, personal disclosure. My mom's and pops with beaving. My Pop's built the whole sheep rock wall at one point up stairs. Really talk right now. They figured it out. You know, it's really talk. So like, you know, people have to determine. Okay, we need to set some guidelines about what we're gonna do, especially if they're children involved like that, children's finances, property, all kinds

of things are involved. How are we gonna manage through this without us being in here arguing every five seconds, being very you know, verbally aggressive and potentially physically aggressive towards each other. I'm sorry, I got to get a little you know, good energy spreading around here. This ship is starting to get a little thick. Man talking about ship that I pops then when he's growing up, you're

giving me bad trauma right now, my bad Kate. But I will say right now like even for like like for me, I live alone, and I have family that lives close to me, and like, um like saying my mother shall come by, and like I love my mom. But like even in this space and time, it's like like you said, and it's like so much like tension, so much anxiety that like even I get to the place where I'm like I don't want nobody around me. But then when you're alone, you're like, damn my mo

by myself. So it is like a confusing time right now, and then it's still scary because we're losing people and stuff like that. So like say you are up underneath somebody twenty four seven, right, what do y'all think is a good thing? Um, that you could do together to kind of get through it? Because technically you are going through the same thing together and it's it may be something small that's making it tick, you know what I mean?

But is there something that like I don't know if it's just like sitting there, I'm talking maybe playing a game or like something that you could kind of like recommend would be good for something watch some free Porne of course would say, is that together or separate? Is the poem watching together? Right? What are we doing? Yeah? But what's better. Yeah, well but that might that might turn into an argument too, because she might not like

the poem. You try to watch right right? You like the Spanish girl else high, you know, you put it on you and you're watch on your phone. I watching my phone. I feel like, um, I feel like even in this time because I was just I was just with my man, and I feel like in this time, you just give each other space, like let him go do his thing in the house and go do your thing in the house and meet in the middle. Well,

that's considered. That, that's considering if you have space. That depends on you know, some people may live in a one bedroom apartment. Some people may live in the studio. So that's come on here, it's hard, but go ahead, hold on. The thing is this containment when none of us are meant for containment. That's a that's a an adjustment that we all have to make, period, you know what I mean. So this is gonna definitely be some some hurdles and some hiccups involved. Institute some patients, a

little more patients. But you do need to separate it. Nope, body said you can't go outside, right, You can take a walk you're just not supposed to be interacting with people and stuff like that. Yeah, But the other the other part of that that you lose, right, and and this is whether in a we're in a pandemic or not. Right. A valuable lesson of this is considering someone other than yourself, right, engaging in and thought and activities that are somewhat selfless.

Right and it and it originates with the idea that the physical distancing and the the tracking of who you're around is of course for yourself, but also considering the other people who are in your circle. Because I may be someone who contracts this and maybe asymptomatic. I may get around someone like a parent or a sibling or an extended relative who has a pre existing condition who

will respond to this virus in a vastly different way. So, on the face of it, let's make that a more general um practice in a time of intense anxiety and and fear and trepidation for people, consider other people. Well, I was gonna say, what what if you're okay, let's just say you're significant other cheats on you, you find out and he comes back in the house, What should you do? I would say? Anyway, I would still say consider him hold on, hold on, hold on? Who said

bad advices? Hey, listen to the worst vices advice? So I don't do that. I ain't built for that hour. So I also, however, I think that there is some consideration given to the activity right now. I'm not saying be you know, listen, don't be a bo zone. Okay. However, what you also have to understand is that people's circumstances are different. Right, So what I advised people to do number one, Right, here's what people do and they go wrong.

Your spouse, you're significant of that's cheating on you. You know what you do. You're running. You tell everybody, right, you call your you calling, you tell your girlfriend. That's what people do, right. I can't believe. I can't believe what this this b did to me. Right now, what you do is you back yourself in the corner. You don't create space or an opportunity to say, hey, I

may want to work this out. Now I have him or her around the same people that I just told that they did me dirty, And now there's some there's some animosity that's going on or some some tension. Right, certain things are not for everybody's consumption. It's not everybody's business. No, seriously, not to interrupt, Like I don't tell my friends when my man cheats on me until like months later they're like,

really happens? Because I don't want my friends to look at my man like he's an asshole, because I'm gonna stay with him anyway. You know what I feel like when I tell someone is when I decide I'm really gonna know when it's done, you know, if I and then that's when I'll tell everyone, because I know at the end of the day, I want myself to feel so crazy that like I can't go back, you know what I mean. The only thing you could do is you see somebody, Right, that's when you go and the

next access out. But real talk, but real talk. Sometimes you gotta see you gotta speak to somebody who can help you better understand your counterparts mindset, not somebody who necessarily trying to fuck you, you know what I'm saying, for somebody who has your best interest at heart and who could be somewhat unbiased, right, so and bad advice. I mean, it's sometimes it helps you see something in

a different way. What do you do, like like honestly, if I got an issue, if I have an issue with my lady, I'm not asking my boy about it because he doesn't know. He doesn't have her type of mindset you have. If you want advice on a woman, more times than not, you should ask a woman who has some No. No, no, no no, because you know what I mean. I gotta be honest as a as

a woman. I would be so mad if my man want to ask another woman that wasn't his sister or right, you know, that's that's a tough one because you know, like, for instance, right, I have a really good friend who I grew up with, went to school with, and he would always ask me for advice on his girlfriend who became his fiance. But they broke up. But she got really mad about it when she found out, and she hated the fact that I knew a lot of his business.

Me and him never have dealt with each other at all. Never. He actually was when I was younger and my best friend's boyfriend, so we were all like family. But that says more about her, says more about her. Yeah, I would recommend a professional. Right, let's if we're gonna get a safe space, let's get an objective person that doesn't know anybody, right, and if they're good professional, what they're not gonna do is uh kind of tell you what

decision you need to make. They're gonna allow you to find the decision that you you need to make on your own right and then support whatever decision that you make, and then help you spell out the pros and cons

of what whatever decision you decide. Yeah, but that there's some there's some nuances in between there that you know, the lions can get blurred with the professional because the professional might not have the personal experience of your situation, the person who never been in a relationship or can't understand the contextual you know, nuances that then it would

be difficult for them to give you some backstory. You don't know that person personally, like like, but if you ask, if you asked, let's say our mother, or let's say one of our cousins, a female cousins who had some experience there and they know both parties, she can give you an idea of a woman's mindset to some degree.

Or if you have a real close friend, as like Angela said, they're not romantically involved, so he can be like Yo, I know this is what he said, but this is what he that's what he meant, you know what I mean. You gotta put your own insecurities aside sometimes, Yeah, but you also have to understand that we talked about feelings, like, so we're talking about we talk about feelings and emotions, right,

So I think that that professional. Again, if they're good, they should have a good grasp of the discussion about emotions, feelings and the management of those, right, Because even those nuances, what we're talking about is how this made me feel your decision made me feel this way, right, and it meant itself to a lack of trust, you know, some

aggressive thought towards you, right, all of those things. So even with those nuances, right, I may not fully understand the scope of it, but what I do understand is, hey, what are you feeling. Let's work through those feelings. How do you feel as it pertains to this decision versus that decision? And what's the what's the pushback there? Right? Because keep it, you know, because there are no right

there's no rules. Right. People people always come with the idea like you know, people always say if if he or she did this to me, I'm leaving like I'm leaving. Yeah, I like miss me with all right, case is different. What do you think about virtually cheating right now? Let's just say everybody's stuck in the house. You know, they're bored, they're not going outside. But people might be online having conversations with people or FaceTime and things like that. I

asked this question. If you saw your dude's phone and he was texting somebody, how would you feel that. I feel like virtual cheating. Cheating is the problem before all of the social distancing, like I don't, I don't. I don't want my man talking to anybody on the internet, on the text all of that. I feel like it's cheating. Even if you don't see them, there's something that I'm

not supposed to see. You're cheating on me. I feel like it's increased though it has right because a lot of people are online more because they have nothing else to do. A lot of people are joining only fans and stuff like that. It's true, thinks that I do feel like that's that's still cheating to me. I don't know, it's just making it. Hold on, listen. If there's been a few people I thought about killing but I ain't killing. Does that make me a murderer? That makes you a

murderous mind, doesn't make you okay? But yeah, but if you're still using your words, so that still could be a physical connection, I mean right now, but you can you can make someone fall in love with words. You can't really tell someone with words, but you can make somebody fall in love with you with words. You ain't got the fund them and touch them. But I mean, you know, Tomato, I'm gonna talk a little, I'm gonna

talking a little different terms. I think that it's all in what they're in the bounds of your relationship, right, what y'all what y'all making right? Because there are people out here with that have open relationships. There are people that have virtual open relationships where they might allow for them mate to get on upon live sight and engage somebody or talk to them and in that manner. So it's all within the boundaries of what you determine. Again,

there aren't any rules, right. We come with these strict as Western cultures, cultural rules of relationships, and that's why our divorce rate is over six. And then you go to the Eastern part of the world and their divorce rates vastly different because they put different They put a different emphasis on sex and relationships and communications. A friend of mine, she has you know, she works hard. She works maybe fifty sixty hours a week. She works hard.

And now she's working from home. But before that, she allowed her man to be on all those sites just to entertain himself while she was at work because he doesn't have a job, so so she didn't mind that he would be on these sites because she felt like he's not meeting them, so whatever. So she was okay with that, and I found that totally weird. Right and because he doesn't pay for those sites with her money, right exactly. Now, let me ask you this. Let's talk

about sex drive right while you're at home. Let's just say now we're home a whole lot more. You know, my man wants to have sex all the time. I don't necessarily feel like it. What should we be doing to have that balance? Because sometimes we do it, we don't feel like it. We feel like if he's asking, we should give in, or sometimes we're like no, I just don't feel like it in his feelings and hurt. Where do you get that balance? I've never been in a position where a man ever asked me for sex,

So I can't answer sex. Well, you go, wow, is that what we're doing? Yeah, but what would y'all like to hear? Let's look at what works for you? Is what is what happens right, more of than than not, more of than than not. What we come to find out is that women go to the same college when it comes to sex and sexual activity. They tend to use sex as a weapon, right and in many absolutely, in many forms, which means that you said you never

heard that. Yeah, yeah, I bet you know so. So I think that, like most men are having a sexual thought every seven seconds, right, So it's not uncommon for men's sex drive to to to to be at a consistent well relatively healthy men to have a sex drive that is consistent, right, a baseline sort of consistency to it. Because men don't engage in or don't have as many physical changes as women do, um that will impact their

drive at different times, right, like close to menopause. Older women will find themselves having their sex drive people as they get closer to that that reproductive change so to speak. Right, So we don't have those changes. However, what we end up with is it being utilized as a tool to maybe say, hey, listen, if you want to do this, or I'm going to punish you in that respect because you're not acting right clean like or like you know.

I think that that's always the source of conflict in relationships, sex, finances, communication, right, we could we could stick those in the ground. There's always gonna be beef about sex, right because there isn't. There aren't many times where those drives physiological will matching, will match each other, right, So that's just more of

a science issue. But I think that again in relationships, there's this conversation and communication that had to be had, and there's some deals that might need to be made. Listen to seven days in the week, Are we gonna agree to have sex? To three days? Four days? Like? How we doing this? Can we commit to it? Right? Is that's something that we can commit to and the

weeks that we do fall off? You know, let's not beef about it because this week maybe we get it four or five times and this week we only did it. Was I never want to have to have that conversation. See, it's like this conversation helps to you know what I mean, because you know, we have our ideas or different ideas about sex. Some of it could be very impulsive, you know. You know I want to get in. I just want

to I just want to quick right now. Yeah I'm ashamed if you can't in, but ahead, right right right right out quick. But but hearing, hearing your perspective helps us understand certain things too. It's like, Yo, look, I want me to tell you sometimes listen, sometimes I want to be I want to be wooed into this, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, more than that. The mindset, you know what I'm saying, be set the temperament around here a little bit, set the atmosphere a little bit.

But because I'm just not a destination for you like that, you know what I mean, I have a whole lot of things that allowed me to react to you too. That's so empower him be like, Yo, there's some things that you can control here too. It's like y'all do y'all have the power of seduction and things of that nature. Let us know that we got some things that could help influence you too that you would like. Yeah, Like I don't like the way you taste from the port.

Maybe he just tas you. I'm not talking about ye, I'm talking about that. It could be the case of any man. You watch them. They don't be what they eat all the time. Sometimes it's hey, listen, no pineapples, gott gotta get your pH balance right. Drink some malcalin water. Do that that works. That that's work from men as well as women. Yeah. I don't know about the pineapple ship.

But the other day, me and my man we was eating sour past kids and I sucked his dick and I swear to god, it tastes like sour past kids. It was amazing. That probably stuck in here too. Yeah. I like listen though, listen it kind of speaks to

the point, right men, men. A lot of men probably won't say this, but they want to be wooed too, right like and and and a lot of that is about the idea that you know, more often than not, on birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, the pendulum is is swung in a way where women expect for men to do something for them. Right, it's our anniversary. What you're gonna do for us on our anniversary? Well day made it bothe It's both by anniversary, right, like we didn't. I didn't

just marry you. You didn't just like we married each other. So let's figure out a way to meet in the middle and woo each other and du you know they want to. You know, some will say, okay, I gotta mat cheese. Mo. I ain't feeling that, Like, yeah, there's some there's some thugs out your singing Michael Jackson too, like knocking on, getting some sexy, geting some sexy loinger and fingure him. I don't know, we just got we just got nothing. You let me tell us, like what's

the best guests? I haven't got? Because have you ever had a situation where you're woude and like when was the best? Like how can you describe it? I feel like I'm the total opposite, Like I don't expect for my man to do a lot for me for my birthday or for holidays. I like to be the ones to surprise him, like look, I got you this. Like I'll buy whoever I'm dating, I'll buy them a Father's Day gift, even if they're not a father. What yeah, because he's n daddy. So it's like, let's look, baby,

his Father's Days is my daddy? I bore you a girl. It's actually I got something to tell you. Yes, to find out would be like really technically, kis, I just didn't want to say anything. I got to break it to you. We talked about wooing like but in how to please each other and really set the temperament. You know, I think a lot of people are going through anxiety right now. Right anxiety is heightened because the unknown. It's a number of reasons, but the unknown like the untimely deaths.

The country is in a frenzy and stuff like that, So we can't ignore that that's affecting our overall behavior, you know what I mean. The paranoia is at all time high and we're ingesting a lot of this, so it's coming out in different ways, you know what I mean? Um, how are you? How are y'all dealing with some of the anxieties or the changes in your own house right now? Like as as far as lead? Yeah, me, I'm a

person who I always have anxiety. Um, I always say this, and I know you're probably tired of hearing me say this, Like I'm a master social distancer even before this, but I have to say, being like that gives you anxiety. When you go out in the world, you know what I mean, Like, when you're around people, it gives you, it makes you paranoid, like you're always looking over your

shoulders from you know, isolating yourself so much. So I just feel like I really hope that people don't come out like that, like come out like me worried to be around people because I can't lie. I naturally have anxiety, but this is giving me more anxiety and not even worried,

just uncomfortable sometimes. Yeah, that's why people drink, I feel like when they're in certain areas, And that's why, you know what I mean, because it is like we have come to a point of time where I think a lot of people have kind of isolated themselves, like you said, even before this, so then when you do get around each other, it's kind of like almost make you stick

to your stomach because you're like, oh my god. People everywhere like, oh my god, yeah, but you don't like and I just felt like a lot I see a lot more people talking about that anxiety and maybe now they just have a word for it. But no, I mean as far as beef people that maybe they didn't know the word for it is what I mean. So maybe now I'm seeing it a lot more because they now know what that means and they're putting two and

two together. But I do think like you have to take a moment, like I think what y'all said going for walks and stuff like that. Really, don't you know what I do a lot to I cook, so like even like making new things like get doing new recipes or something about that that kind of like you know, it brings something out of me, like different, I know what, kind of whatever. But it makes me happy a little therapeutic, yeah, therapy.

You know. What I found that has made me relaxed a little more, which is good for me because I probably should have been doing this is like X me no, but no. But what I find is um, you know, like staying busy in the house cleaning up or um. You know, even even sitting down and praying. I know it sounds crazy. I pray out loud, and it sounds like I'm talking to myself, But I pray out loud and I try to be quiet and meditate, and I'm

not gonna lie. It does make me feel calm. It makes me feel a little more relaxed myself I've been just making sure my diet is better. So I juice every single day, and that definitely helps. What you put in your body helps you mental. That always felt like that and definitely, like you said, Larry, I make sure that if I haven't been outside in a while and the sun is out, I go on my back. All right, I'll go for a walk. I just make sure that I do those things, and I stay in contact with people.

Be a text message, just check in, say what's up, you know, maybe call people. We've been doing face timing and things like that, so I'm not just connected. See, I find myself getting aggravated lately when my phone goes off, and I know that's kind of like I'm trying to get out of that because I think it's because I've been working so much. Since we just work, yeah, like

and I know you you can't agree. Like, since we've been home, I feel like more people have been asking for interviews or for because they feel like, oh, well, you're just home, doing you anything? Yeah, And I'm like, I'm still working my full time job and two podcast you know what I mean. But people don't think of that. So every time my phone has been going off lately Now I thought it's asking for money, but it seems like it's always somebody asking me to do something or

for something. So now it kind of aggravates me to the point where Saturday Antono's because she tried to call me, I completely have my phone, like, do not disturb everything, my messages, everything, like you can't tack me, because that was also giving me, well, look at this, look at the flips side of that. There are some people who don't get a call at all, right, and I think and and loneliness, and loneliness can lead to depression, you

know what I mean. And like, right now, a lot of the calls and can they all tell you the suicide I thought rate and the suicide rate is is heightened right now because now you have a highway for that anxiety to take another route, for that depression to take another route, because now you don't even get a chance to go, even if it was to go to your local Starbucks. And that one person that you've seen every day, you know, that becomes a part of your life.

Now that's removed. You realize you go to your you go to your apartment building or your your home, and you're like Damn. I really don't even know my neighbors like that. But I could be dead in here for two days and nobody just say nothing. You know what. The other part of that that is that situational depression, situation, situational anxiety right is upon us, right because people are in financial peril. Right. So if if I'm stuck in

the house financially, you know, financially, I'm I'm losing. I'm having issues with the stimulus, unemployment is not coming fast enough. That's still not enough to cover my bills, right. Um, situationally, I'm experiencing things that I didn't expect to experience or and or I've never experienced before, right, and now I can't do anything about it. There's not an active process that I can engage in to help alleviate some of

that stress and anxiety. Right. So, individuals who okay, I'm I'm I'm kind of walking my life and things are going well. Now I kind of been smacked in the face with something that I can't control. We're not getting good answers about when things are gonna change, right all day. So, now you know, I don't have a coping mechanism for that. I've never had to deal with it. I don't know how to cope with it, right, So what do I do? You know, my thoughts are running rampant. I don't know

where I go from here? Right, How do I come out of this? Well, maybe the easiest thing for me to do is not exist anymore? Right, And and those become soft ideas that become very hard, and they're not just fleeting ideas that people have. Right. And that's already on top of the people who already have those thoughts on a consistent basis that they're fighting right because they walk this earth feeling like nobody really cares if I'm here or not. Maybe I'm someone that nobody calls and

they check up on. So that's a very real circumstance, right, How my my, my girls? Who are I thought was my girls? Damn they ain't really my girls like that? My my dudes that maybe he really my dudes like dude like that? You know what I'm saying. So it could get really, really tough because we're not Loneliness and depression sets in the truth. Your truth approaches you very very fast. And that's that's a horrible feeling when you

have no idea how to deal with it. And that's why it's important to check up on people who you know aren't buy the You know, that's a really selfless thing to do, Like let me just drop her message. I haven't spoke to her in a minute, Like, you know, I have a friend that's going through a really tough divorce right now, and so I've been making sure I like, hey girl, how are you doing, and just checking in and just kicking with her, just because I know this

is not an easy time to have to go through something. Now, I have what working on me and because you know I did check on you also never I just tell me, you can tell me you have me ill do not to serve. I had anybody one last question before we go for doc in the dude, um, so somebody emailed this in. My wife and I have been together for almost five years, and when we got together, she was thick in all the right places and somewhat toned, flat stomach, etcetera.

Nash has gained almost a hundred pounds and when I suggests better eating habits are just going for a walk, she instantly gets angry and says I shouldn't care. I love and care about my wife, So what should I do? And let's keep it real. Right now people are oh man, and they're gaining weight. Look, look, let's let's keep it real. The fact is that, look, you, he didn't marry you

a hundred pounds. That's a whole another person. He did not marry that, right, So if that's something you can control, then it's up to you the control because first of all, marriage is a contract between two people in the state, it's a contract. So the terms in this contract too, right, So if you're not living up to some of those terms or they can't be amended, then that contract should be broken. It can be broken. I feel like she's

getting angry. She's also getting angry because she probably knows she probably wants to lose the weight, and maybe she doesn't have a motivation. That's probably why she's getting angry, not because she's just mad at him, but she's like, yes to love me for who I am. You shouldn't care, she said, you shouldn't care, And that's not true, but that's what her words were. She said at the end of I think that we're I think that that's where

kind of real and fantasy, right, don't go with each other. Right, And this is a conversation that me and Kane to have and I have with people and couples all the time. Right, this idea that you know through sickness and health, right that for better for worse, Right, we get all that obviously. However, the reality is is that there are times when people's attraction to each other changes, right, because we we we change, right,

The things that we enjoy may change over time. Right, And if there are things that are within your control, right, and there's a conversation to be had about it, it's not it's not necessarily superficial. Right, it's just the way that I feel. These are my thoughts. You can you can label them whatever you want. But as Kinga said, listen, we're in a relationship there, and there's a certain level that we need to maintain for our health. Number One,

you gain a hundred pounds, that's not healthy. You're not practicing you know, good health at all. That's number one. Number Two, if I'm encouraging you to engage in a different practice and you're not accepting of it, then we need to identify what it's gonna take for you to be accepting of it. Maybe I'm not the person that should be the messages. Maybe we should seek out some some assistance and some and some support in a different ways, like why didn't you say like I would have been like,

come on, I'm gonna tell you why. I'm gonna tell you why. Your mind is more powerful than you could possibly imagine in this current state. Right if your mind is telling you to do certain things, like you should eat, then you will eat if you and vice versa. If your mind is telling we have somebody very close to us that had a very bad um illness and it became very painful for her to eat, so her mind told her it's too painful to eat, so she wasn't eating.

In a short amount of time, she lost an enormous amount of weight. You know what I mean, But you know your mind. If you don't, if you're not able to engauge and have some degree of understanding of what's going on in your mindset, then it can easily happen. One hundred pounds, two hundred pounds. Nobody just imagined the game we see those I don't want to add mind two cents into this. This is why I tell man all the time, don't marry a girl until she's in

her thirties, because you know she looks well. There's other factors to people have child. Let's me get sick, you know what I mean, unless you get sick. But that people people deal with things mentally, sometimes physically. There's things that might make you getting way. Sometimes there's medications that Fred and their thirties bro Man spread as well, but they spread nine. I don't know a man by. They

got a man by. They gotta listen. At the end of the day, you gotta have a conversation, right, it all, it all stems from all other communication all we have and about what's going on. You might have some physical issues that are lending that that lends itself to you gaining a significant amount of weight, And I understand that, right, and I'm willing to support you and help you with that.

But if you have home, eating Big Max and ship all day, right, and we need to have a conversation about what happens next, right, And I'm entitled to have a feeling and an opinion. You may not like it, like we are in the age of I'm not allowed to have an opinion, right, and and that impacts everything that we do. I have an opinion. I make a statement. Now you want to shame me for it personally? Right, social media is it's a landline of that ship. I

put some out there, right, somebody has an opinion. Now that opinion, that opinion goes over the line. Personally, you're attacking. Oh you're a hater. Damn. I just had an opinion, right, I don't hate the person. I just felt like it wasn't a good look. And if you put something out there for public consumption, don't get piste off when the public responds to it. I give you, I give your perfect example. Right, the sister who the sister who like she?

I think you're saying, George that she does the weather, and they were her clothes clothes, right, it's a very attractive woman, you know what I'm saying. And then she was like, well, I don't think people should be paying attention to that, and unfortunately people are gonna pay attention to that. So all right, you can feel the way that you want to feel, but people have a right to their opinion. And I was like, I feel her.

I'm with her on that. But then she posted a picture of like, like her leg like a picture of her leg down and I was like, well, if you don't want people to be asking that way, no, why would you do something like that? You know what I mean? And so now when they were making such a big deal lot of that, but have y'all seen the Colombian

and the overseas weather girls. We know, But anyway back to this question originally, So now she's getting a hundred pounds and you know, it could be the quession and the more that he goes in on her about it that could cause it. The more depression people do sometimes to eat as a way to kind of comfort themselves

as well. So he also has what he also has to understand is that as much jumping down and yelling and screaming that he does, he doesn't control that other person, right, So until she's to a point where it creates some some issues or discomfort for her, then she's not gonna

make a move on it, right. Regardless of how hard you push someone right, people kind of become frustrated with the idea that me showing you that I care right, and me being enthusiastic right, or me being demonstrative in my tone is gonna lend itself to you getting up off the couch and moving. I don't hear any of that. Like, I'm in a space where I can't even hear what you're saying. Right. It may look physically it looks like you're yelling, but I'm not really hear what you're saying

because I don't feel that way. It's not uncomfortable to me at that point. So the fact that it isn't uncomfortable to me at that point, you have to practice a level of patients and you have to check yourself or not and identify what you're projecting on somebody else. And you can try. You can you you you may not do that, and it may lend itself to some more frustration. Should it may lead lend itself to you

walking out the door. Because He's like, no doubt. At the end of the day, you can control your all behavior, right. We all control what we can, right, So it's we we engage in relationships oftentimes to look to control what the other person is doing. And that is one of the that's another big issue. I can't control what you do, So why why do I need to continue to try? And I need to engage in the ongoing process to tell me control what you can control? What you can

because I can't control what you do. Well for you, guys. I know we have to wrap up now, but I appreciate you. Now, How can people reach Docking the dude if they have some questions our social media handles at dog going to do at D O C and d A d U d E. I know it, I'm gonna say it again, but folks got trouble with the spelling at D C d A d U D should I have trouble with it sometimes? D dot in in the letter and we got you Listen, We'll be checking back

in with you guys. So if anybody has questions, free to hit us up and ask us because we're gonna make sure that we can. People got questions for us, and then they want we want they want us to shoot it at y'all because I'm pretty sure people want y'all opinion as well. Know you got the email emailers, Dot gonna do one at gmail as well. Dot gonna do the one at gmail. Dot calm. Well, thank you all so much. I appreciate it. Dr Jasper, Dr Kendall,

jasper Kin and Jasper appreciate you guys always. Absolutely, Thank you, Hi guy,