What's up? What's time? It is? Let's service at me and Lage. I'm stup in Santiago. I'm glariow Ntanna. That's your what's up? Y'all? Listen, we're all at home. And he just said he just had the bubble guts. He's in salad. This is cool coffee, Wow, I said, don't. Yeah, it's more like toss the coffee. They got this cool little coffee shop that's still open. Why I don't know,
but is it really? Well, my juice bar is still open, and that's considered, and it said, I guess food places as long as you take it to go things like that, it can still stay open. Yeah, your juice bar is like legit essential though, all right, any anything with health products right now is essential. So yeah, so now we are appreciative of that. So, and we're appreciative of you.
To Jenna, we start, you've been doing all kinds of fun things online since this coronavirus pandemic has started, you know, just making sure you stay in touch with people. Yeah. I mean as soon as this this ship hit, I knew, like, okay, it's gonna be a while a lot of people are like, yeah, we're gonna be out for a few weeks. I was like, Nah, it's gonna be a few months at least, and it's gonna affect everybody, you know, especially as artists. We have
to find new ways to connect. You don't got events, we don't have festivals. We can't tour for at least a year. So I was like, all right, for me, let me be more active online than ever before. Everybody's doing that finding the ways. You have these characters that you have to Um, you then broke out the Afrow. You then broke out of Boston accent. Yeah. Yeah, and you have done a lot of some acting. Do you have anything coming up in the future that you may
be doing a little bit more acting on? So I got stuck in a late because which is a great place to be. I'm glad, I'm grateful I'm here. But I came for auditions, but a lot of them obviously have not transpired, and like the last two months, um so, So I was like, you know what, I got all these characters from being around different neighborhoods of my whole life, and so Cheaper Company is a show where we we me so Charlie, Charlie. It was Sugarie Joe obviously is
seventies a guy. He was actually wearing this this best I got from my homie um. And the second character was Charlie of Cyrus, which is like a Boston hotel. He's from. Think about Boston people don't really black and brown people don't talk the way like all the Walberg films sound like, unless they live in the suburbs. So so I because that accident is funny, and I was like, let me take a Boston suburban black person and make him a hotel, you know what I mean, because it
doesn't that's not usually our hoteps talk. How do Brooklyn people talk? Brooklyn people where we're we're in Brooklyn. Let's say, I'm not gonna do no best stop because I'm I live in East Flatbush. But there you go. That's yeah, you know what I mean, Flatbush? You know you know what ship is out here? You know, you know, you know, but that ship that's ship busting, you know what I mean.
It's just everything is here. It's like it's it's it's small cone because we're in the bush, like Flatbush zombies. It's just it's all like at least where we are, it's all the weed, the weed dealers that we had that people as low key kids. I'm in the thirties. When you start going to nineties, is that Brownsville, it's a whole different like the nineties has been, Like that's so deep. Now you really have real music right now, Like that's that's why drill music is coming out of
certain spots. It's where it's least gentrified, and that's why you get like it's like, is really doing drills right now? It's not. They're so deep in it. It's like they ain't even been on the internet. Like the way they talked, it's like wow, Like it reminds me of old New York and I appreciate it so much, like we haven't had nothing like that for years. But we also appreciate we'
hearing on your music on Insecure. We know you have the song things where that came on last night's episode and we are big, big fans of the show as well. So it's your playing this fire, Yeah, it's you. It's lame things the way to people like what it is for people who don't know about energy and stuff. Yeah, and your what's your name? Marie Condo? That her last name y'all know, I'm talking about the she I want
to believe. I believe that she's from Japan. I know she's East Asian and she has a show on Netflix about tidying up your spot. Y'all know I haven't seen it neither, but you let me. This is a great time for people to figure out how to clean up their energy. But go ahead, okay. Um. So, punctual is this idea that if you clean up your space and kind of be more of a minimalist, especially with furniture, then there's a natural airflow and the natural flow in
your place that will create life in your environment. But I was using it in terms of design, like style, how you feel, um, the functuate your mind. I was taking functually out of this furniture, and I made this dance record, like an Afro func slash hip hop dance record called punctuay Um. It's not like Super Deep or nothing like that, but it's just for right now. For people just need to be liberated. They need to feel light,
they need to feel like they're going outside. I don't know where y'all stationed, but I'm in Atlanta in Jersey. I don't need to interrupt me. But I have to say this. This is the first time that I moved into an apartment. I didn't really rush to furnish it. And the energy in here is so it's it's been amazing for me. I've had the best luck ever. I didn't put a mirror in my bedroom and everything's been
going really well. No, because I haven't. I swear my my living room is like a photo studio and it's just so airy, and I feel like there's the energy in here is amazing, So don't fill it up. Like no, I think something. You need to watch this nex. I really I can't. I'm blanking on the name, but I think I got it right. She would she she comes into the space and she like she praised in it, in your in your house, and she comes to the
space of like hoarding people. So she comes and kneels down, like gives herself to the space and then she just gets rid of all your ship. So you, just like Angela would die. I already know I'm a hoarder. I'm a hoarder. See the bar in the books right there, which is clean, but I'm imagining all the stuff that's not in frame right now, do you know what, what's
your record? I felt like when even when you put the record on, because like I played it and I was playing it like back to back, and out of nowhere, you just started dancing, and I'm like, what am I doing right here? Looks like you're you dance right and you're the because you had a lot of women that you had dancing on you and that you were dancing went and that was going viral. So could you have a relationship with a woman that can't dance as well
as you? M good questions? Wow, that's the question. No, I couldn't learn one one. I don't think I'm not like an amazing dancer, but I feel like it's it's kind of like everything like cooking, right, I couldn't be with a woman who can't cook, but I could be with a woman who doesn't cook. Like it's just weird for me, is like a human being to not really know how to cook. I don't care if you're into that. And now I'm not one of those guys all the
time at least. Yeah, yeah, I just know it's like a basic thing, like what is she's really good at ordering food for you? And it always knows what you like, really good at Yeah, what is she gonna like? I know he's gonna love this. Cook this on the side. Does that with us, right, Stephanie, I can't cook. I can't cook. That's what I'm saying. You can cook, but
you don't like I can cook. I'm not cooking, like even now, Like I have meal plan, which is such a it sounds like the most the most luxurious thing to have in a global pandemic right now. But but yeah, I just don't with dancing, you have to be able to, like at least move a little bit, because then, you know what I mean. I don't know if you can in the bedroom, but I don't need you to dance like all the cool dances like function. I bet you
aren't even like dancing the regular dances. A little tooth, that little one, yeah, a little something, you're okay, you know she don't got a boom cat all over a little group. She started popping. That's a little I gotta call you out on something that you said, okay about lying in you did admit a liar, and a woman asked you about that and you said I had to.
And by the way, it kind of was conflicting because she asked you about lying, and a liar would have said, no, I don't lie, but you, being an honest liar that you are, said I have to let you know I am been a lot to you. Yeah, the verbatim, I said, I'm gonna keep it a hundred. I am gonna say a lie to you, like at some point, I'm not saying that I'm a liar. I'm just saying or whatever, maybe I am. He said you was a manipulator, though
I have been gonna get into that. Everybody says, oh no, and all of you are me being a hundred of saying I'm going to lie, is me being honest. Nobody does not lie in as soon as you enter a relationship, you're already in a lie because you're like, oh, I'm going to only give my all, only be attractive to you, or only one to ever be with you. It's already already a lot like look all right now, like right, somebody, Now, let me tell you. The first line by a mass
manipulator is always I'm gonna keep it one hunted. As soon as that to you, you know there's a manipulation coming in. You know what I mean, but but but they never say that, you know a lot like that's the thing. I'm just being. I don't want to what I'm in a point in life. I don't want to make a promise I can't keep, So I'm not gonna tell you forever, I'm not gonna lie. There's always little white lies at very least if not, you know sometimes Okay,
well let's get some examples. Let's just say that you and your lady are you guys are already out right on a date. Nothing she could do about it at this point, and she's like, does this outfit make me look back? And it kind of does, right, You've seen her wear more flattering things for her figure. Would you answer that question? I would lie, for sure, that's a perfect answer. But there's no way I'm going to tell
her the truth. There's this movie called The Inventional Lie where like it takes place before humans figured out lie, like how to a lie? And so is hilarious, But people would answer that question like for real and honestly, and it's just not worth it, Like why would I make it feel that way? Way to get her to change? Before you leave the house? Did you put that up? Yeah? A good way a good way to have to mention it.
I mean, I think you can be honest in the crib, but you know you can be like, Yo, have you remember that dress you for, you know, our last anniversary? I kind of I'm feeling that really, Oh you think I look, yeah, I love that one. I just love you can just and that and I don't know where it were. It's still But that's that's the good. That's manipulation. Ship. I didn't I tell people this. I'm not a liar, but I'm not gonna tell on myself, So you just
avoid it. You're a deceiver, but I just telling myself. So you can't be honest. You can't completely completely be honest all the time. Everybody lies a little something and then and then, and then there's also where you have to process some ships. So like something happens, you feel kind of way, but you don't know how to approach it. So you end up deceiving a person not telling them maybe for a week or two, and then you come back and they're like, yeah, why don't you tell me
in the first place? And you're like, I had to process it, but the whole time process and you weren't telling the person anything, so like this, this is what I mean, Like, it's we all manipulate, we all deceive, all lie And I don't think it's always terrible. I think that's there's that it's actually a value of mine. There's like little white lies, and then there's harmful lies. Right, it's to this line. So let me ask you this. You're dating a girl and she asked you, do you
think my friend looks better than me? And she does it, then it's live live. No, Well, if I think her friend looks better than her, then maybe I should be dating a friend. I agree, Like, she can give me your number, because I'm like, if if there's I don't want to date a woman within a friend circle that I'm not most attracted to, there may be a woman who's like traditionally pretty, she looked fly, like great, cool, But I should be more attractive to my woman. What
if you didn't meet her friends till later? Though? You know how sometimes you meet a girl and then you're like, damn, I should have dated her friend. That is true, that definitely happening. That's definitely happened. And then when you then you feel bad in your whole mind. Yeah, already I shouldn't have been at that. I should have waited the early early thought happen. Yeah, uh, you know whatever, it's all good. And also you know, y'all, y'all know I
don't like I'm open to both monogamy and polyamory. So yes, you know, there's there's always you know, nobody are nowadays right and men. It's actually it's women, and especially in Brooklyn. Brooklyn is where I learned all this. I'm from there too.
I ain't learned that ship neither. You know what No, you slap, but that's like that's like best side all the way for you for Green East, Flatbush and Easter doesn't like CANNOSTI I don't know what that word means right now, but in the in the hipster areas that she started coming in California and ship and in infiltrated in Brooklyn. But I'm telling you there was a lot of women. Women put me on the shippulated right now because we are being manipulated. But what is even your type?
I want to know what your type is, like, what type of woman? Like man? It varies like uh, it veries, It depends on the space I'm in, Like when I was younger. I only dated hood rats for a minute. Swear like if you if you didn't have like a gold tooth, and like like seven taxs and and hoop earrings with your name in it. I wasn't dating that was that was early on. And then then I got into like the mystic gypsy kind of women and that we're like would vacuum their house and then bust stage
out while listening to trap music. That whole means um that now now, And I said this like I've been saying this all week because it's something I really realized recently. Right now, I'm just looking for a kind of kind of women, Like women in general, to me, are are more thoughtful than men. But I used to put your sophistication and your streets above kindness, and now I put kindness above those you want basically like a mystic kind hardress.
Yeah perfect, that sounds perfect. Yeah, actually that's it. I would take that any day, like you need to be no, it sounds like hard. Three is hard. Three is three is hard. I just need her to be in different spaces because I'm not. I'm not. I don't live in one world I live in like I'll get bored I get bored with women who only know like I date like a business professional, corporate woman who talks like this and use the shirt lips like you know, like that's cool.
But I'm not gonna be there in that world the whole time. So when we go to the nineties in Brooklyn, can you are you okay? You adapt? Are you comfortable? I don't need you to dreak, but yeah, you see you see one fire, you see some pill, you see something, and you're like, oh my god, we're gonna get yeah, relaxed, like it's okay, and vice versa, Like I can't take somebody some of the women I used to date to some of these like galas, they're just not gonna survive.
All right, now, let me ask this back to the line thing. Let's just say and asked you, is this the best pussy you ever had? And it's really not. It's trash. Are you gonna tell her? Yes? As a matter of fact, you have to fake with orgasm? Oh damn, damn, I don't think how did how does it? He just stopped you? I know how he does know? How? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, you know. Earlier today I had to get it in myself you had a rub one out before, so you know right now if you see you know that's why
you don't see nothing coming out of me. But God, you never just pretended that you came, but you didn't. No, I don't think. I don't think men pretend like I don't. I don't. I guarantee you they have do. Yes, we've had men on lips every day that you think that they pretended. Yeah, I never, I never. I need put that in my arsenal now I never did that. That's a tool. Okay, No, I mean the best pussy I ever had. I have to tell her that, Yeah, are you gonna lie? Are you gonna tell the truth? Yeoh?
If she put me on the spot, I might. I might. I might tell the truth. I know I know myself because after I'd be like, and she said something much the best pussy you ever had? I'd been like, uh, I mean, who was the best pussy that you ever had? Like? What was the experience? Like? Do you remember I was young? Yo, I was a teenager, Like I had a high school sweetheart. She was Jamaican. She's amazing. And I think because it was so early and because it was just yeah, it
was like euphoria. I never felt anything like that, Like I felt like it was like cosmic and ship, right, my ship disappears into a woman and then like yeah, so that was that was the best. But I didn't even know what I was doing them, but it just felt like the best. We were listening to the Maxwell Ship, you know what I mean, like love loving Basketball, don't make you feel like it's the best, even though it's
not just a song. What I'm saying like so funny because I think I lost my opportunity to that song and I was probably like the best, said that was the best sex I ever had at the time. At the time, if you lost your virginity work, I was like, when did you figure out what you were doing? Like, you know, because there's always that moment you're like, I
didn't this time. It took yeah, like ten years later, Like there's no way, Like even in uh in college, I was like I was definitely thottish test in in college, and I mean the front of the first two years that that was my little run around, I still wasn't doing it right. It was it was year you know what it was. I had to make the transition from trying to just fuck too. Serving a woman's like actually focusing on the woman like so many because we grow
up on pulling. So many of us we come up and like we think it's a hammer and a rabbit and the like move slower, move slower, move your hips, like think about her, slow down if you need to, because don't come before her. Focus Like my whole mindset right now. When I'm with the woman and I go far, I imagine Chakras on her, like I try to imagine
everything about how I can please her. So that that that switch took like easily ten years from being a young teenager and to my twenties, because you don't want to be on the blogs now and they'd be like, oh my god, I as sextually was awful, Like he don't believe that. Yeah, I mean that's just inevitable. Somebody's gonna say something. What about the first time you ate pussy? Do you remember that? Oh my god, I was terrible. I was. I'm way better now, but like, man, I didn't.
It didn't Again, you look at polling and sex that so the way that what they're doing a point, it just be it doesn't make sense. Like if I can tell now that those women are probably tickled by the way these guys are going down. At some point, I'm like, oh, yeah, that's not she's like laughing. She's laughing, like but I know she's laughing because it's actually ticklesh and not doing a job. So she's like, I gotta keep together. Um,
but this guy is terrible this ship. I didn't like it at first because I also thought like certain rappers were saying they didn't need pussy and anything. Wayne really pushed he loves eating and it helped me so much, So thank you little Muen. Well maybe it's all his raps. That's it. He did, because if you look at rappers before then, like a lot was like, yeah, I don't eat that ship. It was like, now I don't go down there. And then she she give me head, but
I don't give her head. It was like hard and then Wayne made a hard to eat so it took me a while. And then you know what it is communication? Communication during the act. A lot of people don't want to you just especially if you just meet somebody's a little awkward to be like, but all you have to do is like what you what do you like? And
tell me, tell me what go there, go there. You have to ask and to the men that are watching um and the women who have never eaten, you have to ask, like what feels good consistently so that you know, because otherwise you're just gonna be guessing. And then you don't like the person because it wasn't compatible. You feel like it wasn't But no, it wasn't about compatibility. It was about communications. Anybody I described somebody how to go down on you, is it last pleasureable? Do you think?
Because I think that it would be like me trying to focus too much, like the left to the right, little harder right there, Like instead of somebody that just knows what they're doing, I think that people will know what they're doing. Some people know what they're doing in general, but they everybody is a little different, Like you can't just apply every single woman. You know what I'm saying. So it may be less posible to you. Maybe you just don't like talking too much because you just want
to focus. But if you were with somebody knew you can't like and I have no idea what relationship you're at, what's your status is, But if you're with somebody, I'm not nodding it's corone. I'm so, but there's five. There's five of us on the show, and we all like getting our pussy in different and I'm missing someone. Huh, it's four of us. It's four of us on the show. This girl she had think that only day about d I love you between how you got y'all said, there's five, Well,
there's four. Yeah, I like different things. Yeah, what are the differences? Um? Well, I don't like when people like thrust. I don't like when people use their finger. At the same time, I like it like nice and gentle. I always compare it to like a little kitten laughing some milk out of a bowl, you know what. That's how Andrew's so funny. I like it really rough, Like I like to get bit a little bit sucked really hard.
I'm psycho. I just I don't mind a finger. I like, like, I like variety of things, but like you have to eat me out till I come, that's for sure. I just feel like if you know what you're doing down there, because I've never had to be taught how to give head, Like nobody ever had to say to me, like that's not what, that's not right doing, Like that's not for me. I should like born with that knowledge if I was
born as what they say about me. They're fair about me, they do Angela and step and they always say like I was born on how to give up. But I just look at it like I know I didn't have to be taught, so you figure it out too, and like, I don't have no problem talking to you later, but not while we're having sex, like if I'm all talking about as far as moaning or like saying your name stuff like that, but if it's like I want you to do it like this, unless it's like harder when
we're like like I'm about now. You know that's weird to me because I already did it, Like what do you want to think? Do you think that it's it's easier to like how did you learn how to give that? You study? You looked at you watch some point now like okay, I've seen porn. I've seen porn obviously, and I just what I thought about it, honestly, is like how would I want to feel? How would I wanted to feel my deck? Like yeah, I'm like I'm like if I was a penis, how would I want to fail?
So my first thing was like cover your teeth because you don't want to scrape the teeth. And then everything else I feel like, just flow like she came out sucking on an umbilical coursebody like how somebody squirms, how they moan like I feel like you just have to listen to their body or you do. I feel like guys different guys like to get their dicks up differently too, Yeah, yeah we do, we do. You don't like use two hands, Some guys want you to just use on one hand.
Someone they don't know what they want and tell them they get it, you get what I'm saying, Like is the thing I feel like maybe because a man is more like he's his whole, his body parts private out that big private jet, the African thing, but a woman is inside I'm saying, she's you can't see everything, So I'm wondering, like, because men are studying other men in porn, maybe they can't really see where their tongue is. They can't.
They don't other than the kitten licking the bowl, like, yeah, I can see that, but when you watch the woman and point, you can see it. Like everything she's doing, it's all out there and all and I wonder it's a little bit more difficult for us to learn because we're like, you can't unless you had like this like camera right up there watching every movement of the time.
But some of them are bad listeners. And if we say like it's about listening to the body, I feel like they're just so busy worrying about what they want to do or like what they think is right, that they don't, you know, communicate with your body, because at times like that squirm is more like but they think you can tell the difference if you pay attention. I don't like the way to eat pussy and porn. They
never know what the fun they're doing imporn. It doesn't look like they're always like, uh, that's how you pussy. The women's pussy better important than men do. Yeah, it's done. It's a good way to learn from a woman that the last episode of Insecure, East was upset about the fact that she really like trained her dude Lawrence to be in this new relationship that he's in now he's
like a better guy. Was there a woman that trained you, you think to be the man that you are today and you get credit to Definitely, Definitely I was in a long term relationship with a woman who she really shaped me, Like she took me from my like teenage self into young adulthood. She she taught me cultural things like this simple ship, like I didn't know about wine. I didn't know, um like what I should do on the day. I was very shy. I come from being like a very shy kid. And she would take me
to advanced concerts which I've never been to. It I was broke. She was paying for the ship. We would go and she'd be like, yo, you need to put yourself forward. That's the manager right there. That's the green room where there. Let's talk to the security. Get yourself in there. That's so and so, Like you need to meet you know if it's like some o g rapper, like, oh that's black thought right there, go talk to him and let her right. She was like, you bet we
still we still know, we're still great friends. Like that's my best friend. So yeah, yeah, I have. I have good relationship with with every woman that I've been with. To be honest, why didn't it work? I mean I think you you grow and you find out, um that maybe I look at everything like the chemistry experiment, like some some some people you just know the top you're gonna be like this other times, like you put two substances together, they made chill for a second, but then
they boy all over over time. That's how that that's how we were, like we we were too similar in certain ways that we were cool. But you leave us in the pot too long, we're gonna keep button heads. But like that's that's that's the the O G best friend and like your girls, Yeah she does, she does, and she'll tell me, like, what's great it is like I consult her, she consults me. I consult her. So she's meeting a new guy SHO should or women. I'll be like, yeah, I know, you know, be careful because
you have a habit of doing this. And then she'll tell me like, yo, don't confuse um your business practices with your relationship practices. I know how you like to do that. So she she finds she's like a therapist for me in certain ways, which prevents me from being like this insecure I need therapy guy and placing that
on a new level. So like and insecure. Have you ever um gone back to an X for like comfort, because it seems like he got out of or he's having a little bit of trouble in his situation and he's it looks like he's running back to his act. So have you ever ran back to an act and actually end up going back to them? Oh? Yeah, that's where I'm most savage, Like my, yeah, that's my My funk ups in life are usually not in the relationship, that in that gray area after the relationship. I'm I'm
such I'm a determined person. So when she don't work, I don't get why it doesn't work. So I'll go back and then you know, you get lonely and so you I'll go back and I'll try to and this is where the manipulation comes in. That's the negative part of it. And I'll reel them in, make them trust like this could work, and I actually do believe it in the moment, but there's a but there's a reason why I didn't work in the first place. It never
works out. And that's where it gets ugly because I'm dating people while I'm trying to reel and you know, yeah, but I don't do this no more like I'm done. Like I got I realized I'm really good with black and white ship the agreement has got to be clear. If it's not clear and as great, it's gonna be. Lady, say you feel about a guy you're dating betting friends with his ex and like, no, no, it's not happening. I can have sex with any of my exes right
now if I wanted to. Hell, you know, don't talk to your ex girlfriend please for me, I feel like this one. Once you've been my ex, we're not friends anymore. That's it. So why would I let my man be friends with his ex? It doesn't make any sense because you're secure. You're secure if you If y'all was really secure about about your partners, you wouldn't be worried about I know, but it's not. I don't mean I trust my man. I just don't trust the dirty slust that
he was with before me. You know what I'm saying now, I get with saying. I get what she's saying. But you feel I definitely feel you, But I just think just the fact of um, just anything like for what all y'all obviously broke up for a reason. It didn't work, So what are you doing? Like if y'all want to be yeah, being corgeous if you have a kid together, that's something else. But like being cordial is fine. But as far as like I feel like being like really
tight friends, that's just weird to me. And I just feel like maybe even a certain level of respect maybe if I meet her or something like that. I don't know, but it's just like what are you What are y'all doing? What if she's like married or something already, why it's weird to me that for me I had And I'm not just talking about like women I dated. I'm talking
about women I really had a serious relationship with. If I invest in time with them, am I gonna just throw them to the side, Like because you did that with the relationship, that kind of relationship. I didn't want to throw them away as friends. To me, it also shows like what he how that how that person is who could be towards you? Like you know what I'm saying. You know with me, here's what you get, Here's what you get with me. You know you know that I'm
still gonna be good to their families. I still take care of them. I still like I'm not going over and holding them in my lap and doing the same things, but at least I'm in touch I'll still face time them and I know I know their their community, their friend circle. I'm not gonna just throw them by the wayside because that that that relationship meant something to me. So if I'm with the woman now and she sees that, yeah, it maybe like damn, I hope he never goes back.
But if she's secured with me, if I'm secured with myself, then then I think that it's all positive. It's it's nothing and she can. I know women that I've I've dated who will then ask one of my ex is about me? And and that's kind of what you know you see in insecure right now? Yeah, yeah, that's you know you don't want to hear that story. I'm actually right now. I want women to know everything about me early on because eventually I want to form some sort
of union or marriage. And honestly, the quicker we can, we can get through all the trauma and all the yeah, all the bullshit like just know me, Like no, you can ask you anything. I feel like friends, you know, access should be enemies, because then there's something wrong, there's something there's something bad there. But you know, to be speaking all the time. I mean, if you see challa, Hey,
what's up are you doing? No problem with that, but to have an ongoing relationship after you broke up, you might as well have stayed together. Well, what are you worried about? I don't think it's even a wor thing. Girl, It's so for me. I don't feel like it's necessarily
a worried thing. But I just know, like I said, I know how my excess felt about me, or like I've had my like a ex the other day hit me talking about something I love you, and it's like I had to block him because it's like, bro, Like what if I moved on and had a whole another relationship and now my man just seen that on the phone. You get what I'm trying to me? Yeah, that's me. You know what else I think to Like, I have a wreakingto I'm cool, but I respected they're in a relationship,
and I never want the woman to feel uncomfortable. So I would like set some boundaries where I know, like, Okay, he's in a relationship. I don't want anybody to think anything. I don't want his girl to be upset. So I'll check in, you know, if there's like an event, I might invite you to my birthday. Pritay all good and it's like her, But I'm also not gonna be like calling you at midnight. But that makes sense. But you
can't control people actions. So whether they're friends with their ex or whatever, if they're gonna sunk, they're gonna suck somebody regardless. So it's not like I'm gonna dive myself in front of a friendship. But I just know about temptations, and I know how it is when you know how someone is in the bed or when you're getting lonely and they're there for you and being close. It's just a temptation factor and it's just kind of like if it didn't work, let it go, feel like it doesn't count.
If you suck your exit like it didn't count. That's I do that, and it's not still to the day. But no, but yet, you know, for ther y'all know, for the longest, I've always felt like that. But now like I learned my lesson because of a situation that I had where I took back an act. But like I used to be like that. I used to be like you should have a sex. I used to give that advice out like you should have sex with your acts. At least you're not adding a body or something like that, right,
you know whatever. But that's not that's not a good way to think because you're still giving your energy to somebody that doesn't deserve it. So let me let me ask you all this. So, so let me ask you all this about the function way of of human beings. Right, do you think that people are hard wired for monogamy? I think I think when people get to a certain age in it and it's like a lot of effort to try to do too much. I think people do.
I know for myself, Like when I was younger, I'll date several people, have a good time, But as you get older and busier and you want to settle down. I think it's just like the knowing that you have this one person that you have to deal with, it just feels better to me. I feel you you get like, getting busy is a huge factor. Sorry, you you're about to say something no, no, no, go go no. I mean like, but even with that, you're you're you're trying to say that every like this person is enough to
satisfy all your needs. Yeah, I feel that way also because I just said like, I'm more about being probably comfortable. If I decided to be with you now, then that means that that's something real. When I was younger, I didn't take certain things into consideration. I just was having a good time and like we could date for two weeks and yeah my boyfriend. Now it's like, okay, we have to date for a year before I feel like that next. Yep, that's how I am for me. Once
you have sex with me, you're my boyfriend. That's it. Like sex not your mind. Now you come on. I feel like I feel like I feel like God has a very funny sense of people, Marie. He made women more intuing monogamy and manner like what what I want to be with everybody? I don't feel like all men are like that. Mendo like that more monogamist and we are women not to not to death. But I'm saying
some of the I'm actually I'm great at monogamy. Okay, yes, the longest eight years Okay that it was like some marriage ship and I never cheated in eight years. Wow, that's amazing. So you could be with one person married and no one else and that could be your hall. Uh you know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know anymore I do. I do know this, like when i'm if I commit in monogamy not cheating, like I've never cheated my life, I don't and I don't
think I would. But but when I think about marriage long term and so that do us part, that's that just sounds right for failure, Like it just it doesn't you grow, You evolved the same person that you marry, the same person that you met when you dated, when you fell in love. It is not the person that you're gonna be with over the years. Like people change months a month, people change year to year for sure, and ask people evolved, you can't expect them to be
locked into some agreement. So to me, I want to be with a woman who can evolve over time, and it's okay with a little bit of uncertainty down the line initially foundation develop it. I actually I don't have time to be running around with a million women. I don't want to anymore. And honestly, I never really was that guy anyway. I would love to lock something down. I just know that over time, like the agreement has to change. I believe in agreements, so say and I
actually don't care about certain things. I don't care if a woman I'm with is gonna occasionally make make out with somebody. I really don't care. Oh my god. I mean, look if she you know, if she has that, I try to stay away. But to me, I'm not mad at that. I'm not mad at if she if she's an amazing woman and I'm feeling it like whatever, I really I'm open to certain things like it just does. It doesn't matter every every time. I don't need you
to be a standard orthodox person. That's the thing. As long as we can come up with a deal. Even I'm cool, I can see me down the line being with a woman with even if it's my wife, and striking an agreement where she can be with other men as well. Like I don't. I'm not tripping off that that she doesn't kill me. What I care about is that we hold each other down. We we support each other, We're there when we need. We know that none of
these other relationships are as strong as ours, y'all. I don't know if y'all watch House of Cars when it was popping um, and you know their relationship was weird, the Underwood family. But no other relationship that they had because they were like polyamorous, Um, no other relationship could penetrate there for most of the shame. And that's that's kind of how I look at it. No matter what
the foundation is the foundation. But I do feel like sometimes there's always signs of weakness where you feel like, um, maybe the other relationships starts to make you feel better than that one. And I think that's where a woman it's always gonna feel away about, because that's kind of like when a woman brings another woman into the bed for a threesome and it's like, okay, I want to three something, you want to three some cool, Now we
do the threesome, and then what happens. Then man goes out and impregnates the girl on the side, and you know something like that, all the women falls in love with too. Yeah, but nine times out of turn, it's always the man that messes up, goes behind the back and ends up getting the side check, or the threesome girl pregnant or it's sucking her behind the back. So that's what the problem is. I don't think it's ever that women will look at it like we won't ever
accept something like that. I think it's like when it comes to things like that and you're like, all right, well say you kiss somebody cool, I don't know about it. Next thing you know she's your wife too, then that's a problem, you know what I mean. And I don't know if that's the conversation here having with them, like they're just gonna be somebody that I fun here and there, or is it like I'm getting another girlfriend, I'm getting another wife. You know what I mean? You gotta I
think you got up front as well as possible. That's the main thing. One thing I found out is if you can be upfront, women are much more not like to not like they're gonna agree with everything, but they're much more open than You never know what a woman will are. She might be like I'm down that I'd rather know, or or she'll be like, look, I'm glad you told me that, but I don't ever want to know. And make sure there's a week in between anybody and
only on the road and don't fall up. That's very specific. Now I would be like, you can't eat her pussy, that would be a rule, and you have to wear a condom. Like to me, those are more and more a rule than anything. Yeah, I feel you feel relationships. Man. No, I'm not saying I'm okay with that, but I'm saying if those were more so something that somebody laid out other than I'm just going behind your back and cheating
on you, at least they're giving you. Yeah, I agree with and you can't buy have a no kiss and you can't buy. But I think also getting tested. You have to get tested within like a certain range too, because I mean, I've obviously worked out in agreements and I made sure the worst the worst thing to do is the worst feeling to have is feeling like you put a woman's body and health at right and she
didn't know it. That's the first thing we say to Yeah, yeah, I've always made sure to get tested and and that's how you know what I mean, I've remained disease free. Um. Yeah, it is now last question before because I know you know we're almost at an hour. This is only supposed to be half an hour. But what would rules be if a woman could see other men? Like, what would you tell her the rules out for her to be
able to do that. Here's a little trick this is I've noticed that the more open, and I am the less the woman wants to go out and be with a million people. If I'm like, yo, I here's what I care about. UM, I only care about that you're you're safe, you get tested. UM, if you start to have developed feelings, just tell me early, like I'd rather have that early. I just want to know up front. Um,
I actually like to know. I like to know the guy. Wow. Yeah, and that might that might be some control ship, to be honest, like, that might be some territory ship. What did he see you? I didn't know? Yeah, sounds like that. Sounds like a reverse psychology. That's how you back. I preface it's a little, but my rules are simple, like I just don't I would like I feel confident in and me and me and her. I know that what how I am, I'm unique enough for her and she's
unique enough for me. So I'm not really threatened by by anybody. UM. I just needed I just needed to be safe and I needed to not be UM like I wanted to know. I want to know what it is. So if it's developing into something more than just casual sex or something just like, protect my heart, don't just protect my body. Protect my heart on movie dates and watching Insecure together. Yeah, TikTok Yea said, I think honestly
on the front end is everything. But here's the thing about honestly on the front end, it takes something Like I said earlier, it takes kind of process. I realized, like, and if you date like an introvert, it's even worse because they won't even tell you for for months and months.
And so I I used to do this thing in relationships that I got from this book called the Spirit of Intimacy where every month we would have this ritual together, like we put candles in the circle would be bass naked um back to back, and we would lay out, Yeah, you gotta do that. So once you give your sacrament and ancestors, you talk about your relationship and you talk about things that you made. Uh, it's a safe space
basically for y'all to to express this. So that way, every month, no matter what, y'all have a space where y'all communicate. And that when I did that, my relationships were so strong. And when I failed to do that, that's when things got weak because that resentment starts growing because y'all, y'all say some things that happened halfway through the month, So I think putting, yeah, putting those practices in a huge relationships, especially if you're dating the introver.
All right, well, we appreciate that. That sounds really good. You didn't naked invent your candles. In a second, he's gonna be like, Jamnie, I just wanted to talk about that should be your next listening session, like just everybody sit in the room but naked, like listen to the album the last night. Well, Stanner, we appreciate you so much and I always appreciate your honesty and fund conversations.
So we'll be following and making sure we tune in to your page right now to here everything you're talking about. And you have your book club. I was telling you I have a book club too, so you know I love that. So we'll do a complation. Yeah, we might do that. I might bring you on os is called the Lit Review Black Men's book Club hosted Body Intoxicated Uncle's Um. So I would love I would love to have you on for sure. So thank you for bringing me on the lip service. Thank you all for keeping
it a hundred and lying. I mean, uh, but I wish you'll will with your partners and your lovers. You know, I don't know which y'all got quarantine bays, but I wish you will. Yes, Thank you,