Episode 213: Paving the Anal Pathway (Feat. Chelsea Handler)

what are you going to transition into? I said, well, do you know what I want to do? I said, I'd rather fashion myself after Chelsea Handler. No offense to Oprah because I love Oprah, but me and her are just not anything like Like I have a show called lip Service. I've already talked about sex and relationships and all kinds of things, a whole lot that there's no going on. We've talked about. It's not talking about anal and I'm here to talk about that. We didn't get

her that butt plug. Do you have any have you ever used at plug? I have not used a butt plug. I woke up with a butt plug in me this morning. I woke up like this. I did wake up like that. Well, good for you, good for you, and you just made me a perfect drink, so obviously things are working for you. That is a talent. Because actually gave me some butt plugs and it was a variety of sizes, and she was like, here, this is good for beginners. So I tried to use the beginner one and I was like, oh,

this is small. I probably could just put it right up there. It didn't work. It didn't. Yeah, there's that's good to have things for beginners, intermediates and experts, for all devices, you know what I mean, everybody's got something different going on. How did you have any without a butt plug? I don't don't. I haven't had a lot of anal to be honest with you. I mean, I haven't found somebody who's really into that, so I have to wait until i've done that. Sorry to disappoint you, guys,

really sorry, Yeah, because I feel like that. Think go all way about it? Do you love it? I've done it once or twice. It's not a thing that I've done multiple times. Tell me, fill me in it. Literally, then it feels really good, better than vaginal sex. No, right, but it does. But it's a nice change of pace. Right, Yeah, it's good when you're in your period. Yeah, and I would guess, yeah, that makes sense. Just touch the touch

the string already. Okay, now let's talk about them your documentary. Hello, privilege. It's me Chelsea, And what made you decide to do this documentary because we had a nice discussion before you came in about white privilege. Yes, uh, well, I think the election was a real turning point for me. I know it was because I just couldn't believe that this baboon was fucking elected. I couldn't fucking believe it. So I went into therapy because I was acting like a

spoiled rat in reaction to his election. And I realized that this was the first time I remember getting into my driver's car, my driver's black I got into his driver's car at the end of the election. That night, I was at my best friend Mary McCormick's house, and I got the car and I was crying and I was I just go, I can't believe this man as the president. I can't believe it. And I said Billy, what do you He's been my driver for years, he's like part of my family. I said, Billy, what do

you what do you think? And he said, I We're done. This is your problem now. You know, black people are done fighting like I'm done. He you know, he wasn't speaking for all black people, obviously, but and it hit me like, oh my god, how do people of color like I'm this upset and I'm upset about my just about the way that he was talking and everything. And I realized like it was the first time in my adult life that things became or felt unhinged. Nothing has

ever not gone my way right. And it made me get out of my own asshole and go, wholl whoa, whoa, I've had this is the most upsetting thing that's happened in my adult life. What the hell are other people dealing? It's just a series of upsetting things that have led to that. I was in Atlanta, and I was at the when it was a mandament Oriental and is why woman comes at to me. I don't know her. She

was drunk, drinking by herself. She told me she had gotten the fight with her husband and left the house. And she goes to me, what's up with this black Lives matter thing? She comes over to me just to ask me that. She was like, yes, She's like and I think sometimes people feel like they could just see a black person, let me just ask them. I'm drunk, I want to know, and some trying to explain, like, black lives matter, and it doesn't mean that your life

doesn't matter. But we've been through so much and we have to do that because people treat us like our lives don't matter. And I'm trying to explain it to her and she's really not getting it, and I'm like, why am I sitting here trying to explain? And that's frustrating. Well, it's also the center the black lives matter, the fact that there has to be a movement to remind everybody else that black lives matter. That's that's the conversation in itself, right,

you know. So I think people think a lot of white people think, oh, well, why am I being blamed for you know, society. That's unjust or unfair. It wasn't my I wasn't here, those were my ancestor, which is one of the grossest things to say. It's like, this has been going on for generations. Slavery lasted for longer than we've not had slaves. We had slaves longer than

we haven't had slaves. So for every white person that says I wasn't there, it's like that is so gross, and it's it's also a defense mechanism because I've noticed most white people don't want to talk about the subject matter because if they admit there is privilege, then it's something that they have to give away. You had some white women conservatives that didn't really believe that there is white privilege. Yes, never from Orange County. And when I'm

not gonna lie. When I saw that part of the documentary and made it a little hard to watch for me, I think, like, you know, I I was enjoying it, and then when I got to that part, I like, are they serious? And then even one woman even said, well, I see I see the privileges and that, and then one of her friends said, so you do see the white press. She said no, I think I see the black privilege or like their privilege, and I was like,

slow down, is this a joe? Like I was really love they're pist people are like not like that because I would like to continue a dialogue with those women. You know, I went to therapy for a long time to understand how to talk to people instead of yelling at them, because that's what I did for a career for so long and it worked for me. But I wanted to be able to sit down and have conversations where I could actually listen to other people and try to have and be respectful of their space so that

there is room to grow. Sometimes it's hard, it is soon I am like, you know, I like a conversation, I like an argument. I'm all about it, like head first into conflict. But so for me, my exercise was letting people state their opinions because there's gonna be so many white women that watch that documentary that see those four white women and think I'm nothing like those women, right,

And they thought, by the way, yeah that's funny. White women like, no, I don't, but yeah, like I'm only doing anal I'm talking about looked like he might tear that s up. Yeah he seems Yeah, he seemed even more like that the last time I saw him, which was as you know, recently, Like you think his dick grew from back then. I don't know what happens with pisa grow while you're in jail, or if a shrink who knows you guys tug their penis to let it gets bigger. I don't think it gets bigger. I think

it changes the shapeship the penis. Really, yes, like you can sell when a guy masterbase a lot, or if he doesn't masturbate at all. Really, I feel like that. I feel like sometimes I have been with guys who I felt like their penis got bigger over time. Well maybe they just became more attracted to you over time. Yeah, okay.

I think when guys get really turned on, their penises do get bigger than normal, right, like when they're really turned on and like, wait, you could be having sex with somebody for like a two years and all of a sudden you're like, what's going on down there? Atlita in two or maybe they just manscaped and it looks big. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like that. I don't think from pulling it it'll get a different change if as if a goot, eventually

you're going to shave it off. YEA, guys in the room, it's like wearing a waist trainer to make your waist right exactly assume if everybody but you gotta way that all wear that all the time, because if you're not wearing a waist train and the waist is just not training. But imagine masturbating feels really good, so a guy is gonna do it a lot. So if he's tugging it to the side, it's gonna eventually curve to the side.

Do you have imagine imagine a guy was wearing a wiste trainer and masterbase to Now, do you think that white women have sex privileges to There's a lot of privilege that goes with the color of your skin, you know, So yes, I would say that, But I mean that's an uneducated answer because I'm not I don't haven't had enough time to think about that. But yeah, I think I think there's just a lot that comes with being white that if you're not. If you are white, why

do you think about it? You don't have a reason to think about it unless you're starting to really, like, you know, be conscious about it. I grew up in a white neighborhood with a lot of white friends and I and then I moved to l A and I moved to Santa Monica, and then I moved to Brentwood and now I live in bel Air. So even though I thought I was woke, which I fucking wasn't because I've self segregated, you know what I mean. We all do things in an unconscious way that we're not aware of.

And I have the luxury and license because I've can take time off and do the projects that I want to do. I know that I'm not everybody is in the same position, but we're all in a position in our lives to think a little bit more about what it's like to be someone other than yourself. Because I think even as doing this podcast right, as women of color doing a podcast about sex, we get so much judgment. I was surprised when I was reading about your podcast

that you guys were doing this. I really was, because you still can't even talk about sex, right, you know. I mean, I guess the podcast is really the only format to do it, or a book. I had a show on Serious is where it started, right, and so lips Ever started off. It's a nighttime show on Serious and it was the first thing like that right where we had black women talking about sex, talking about our sexuality.

But when I tell you, when this first started, and I think it's getting better now, but people were like, oh, a bunch of horrors sitting around the hole. Yeah. I couldn't take it. It was driving me crazy after a while, and I'm like, why is it so taboo for us to talk about sex? And I don't know, and people have said this to me. I don't think that white women would have had as big as they wouldn't have had as big an issue if it was white women as they do when it's black women. And I don't

know if it's our community or whatever. That kind of looked down on that at first, but I did get a lot of criticism for it, and it's like the conversation is still intelligent and it's something that's necessary. There's so many people that don't have anyone to talk to when they want to talk about sex. They want to talk about different experiences, Like we had a dominatrix on the show a couple of times, and that's fascinating to me.

I was talking to some one yesterday about her experience as a dominatrix and she was explaining it to me, and it seems like not a bad ideal, Like if you want to make some extra cash, oh, just because don't have sex, right, you're not supposed to have sex with yourself. Just beat the ship out of a guy right in a sexual way and yell at him. Actually, it's a great exercise for a lot of women are probably and degrade him. Yeah, and they get off on it. Yeah.

Have you ever done anything strange like that? I remember doing a documentary and we visited this like S and M you know, kind of couple, I guess, and they were explaining to us, like, you know, the domineering like all of the things that happened, and I just was so it's like swinging like I'm not into that ship. Like I get it if you are, and I totally I mean I don't really get it, but I you know, yes, do whatever when anybody wants, But but I'm not going

down that road. And yeah, I mean it's nice to have like a little fun in bed, but I'm not down with all the stuff. I'm actually like way more conservative than anyone would imagine. Like, you know, at this point, I'm just trying to get some sex, just some basic shi you know what I mean. I don't need to like get yeah, I don't need to get caught up in anything else? Do you have to think about whether and not people will know you? Like I mean, they know you, but like are they going to talk about it?

I can't just go out and meet somebody. You don't care? Now, I don't care. I'm on ryam on Tinder, Like I don't care if you tell anybody that you had sex with me. I'm trying to I would love for that to be true. Let's go up sex. Do you care if they say it's good or not. I don't care about that either. Like I had sex with Chesse. It is terrible. Yeah, that was aay be embarrassing, but I could get past up. What about you ladies? And no? Do you think about that? Like Jez, you're newly single,

yes I am. Are you having sex already? Yes? I am? I have enough. I told you I look up with a butt plug. I know, but I don't know what you're up to on your own looking by my phone. Does anybody master being with butt plugs? Is that a

good feeling? Maybe I haven't. It's a training thing. I hadn't masturbated with the butt plug, but the butt plug last night was just more of me like being like a freak for this guy, and then you surprised him with it, like he had no idea and until he plupped me over to go head from the back and it was like a pink. It was like the what is that? And I was like it just itels like you're like and so then did you take out the butt plug? I know it stated in throughout the whole

situation that I passed out. I actually tapped out, excuse me, and fell asleep. And when I woke up this morning, the plug was still in. I was like, oh, ship, it's still there. So he didn't fire, obviously not didn't. It's also a great way if you put a plug in, it's a great way to tell somebody like no entry here if you're not into It's like a cork stopper. It's like, hey, there's already something. This base is taken around the corner. He's taken. Did nobody mastered based by

like shoving their fingering there? But right? No? No, maybe a guy because you know, okay, that's where their prosing is. But I still jerk off, you know. But women, and I don't know a woman that has ever said that they masturbate with their butthole because it's like a certain point you have to reach to even like fail the pleasure anyway, right, So you're not gonna get there with all the way up there by yourself with your fingers. Let you see her nails. You can still get it

up there. This is my what I don't understand about the nail situation these days because women's nails are so long. I get it's in, but how do you fool around with a guy with those nails? So what do you mean like if I'm like, well, if you're in, if you're around your own vagina or his penis, Like, what I mean, don't you have to like think about your nails. I think you just gotta be more gentle. I'm not gonna like sinse. I've been getting these like Savorsky crystals.

I haven't tried to because these will come off and you don't want to sing. I used to get my nails done like that, and I used to get all kinds of ship drinking like five years ago, and every guy I hated them, single one. They'd be like, oh, I to thing about, Yeah, that's what they're adding the want the thing? Anybody, No, not to day, But why did I think of that and paint that Neil Brown just don't want to talk. That crosses I no longer

feel comfortable. What about you though? Do you think about like who you date or sleep with and if he's going to talk um, Yeah, but I feel like one thing that like if I'm dating somebody or I take it that far, I want him to respect me enough to the fact that he's not running around saying stuff about me, especially in this like we're grown. So if you're doing that, that's the kind of guy that I don't want to be with. You know, we're around or anything,

but character. That's a character trait. And if somebody's like that, it's like, exactly, you don't want to date a guy like that. No, it's disgusting. It's like if you have to go around being like, hey, let me tell you how this was I grow up? You know the service I hit that um brag about their sexual explication by wor than we do like for sure, but if they really really message you, I mean, yeah, they're gonna say

whatever about you. But it's certain things after the fact, like once it's over, then it's like, yeah, I had her. That's a character like some people, some guys don't do that, and some guys do. Some guys actually really respect women. That their self esteem from advertising every woman that they've slept with, you know, and that's that's a nice quality.

And a man. I actually had a conversation with my co host um on my morning show, and he said that if there was a girl that he knew dealt with a guy he knew, he would ask him how was she in bed? And I felt like that's weird. Not only where, but it's like where are you in your mind that you feel like, hey, so how is And he said he would ask how is the head

thinking with his penis? But I just think that's crazy to me, like that if you disrespect, disrespects sometimes aren't too good with certain guys and not good with other guys. Like I might sex fantastically and then somebody else I might be like. And it also depends on the size of the dick, Like some digs it smaller and easier to set, and you're gonna go hamm on it, right, and you can really do every trick. I'm Jewish, so I just want to put it out there that I'm

not good at blow jobs. Come on, no, no, no, no, I mean, if I'm really into somebody, I suppose I could get good at it, but like it's not a natural that's not a natural thing for me. I'd much rather have sex with somebody before that happens then give a blow job because they might be like no things. I just don't think. I don't think they're gonna be that impressed. Yeah, it also feels really intimate, more intimate

than sex. Becauld you can get pregnant from sex. Well, I'm not going to, so that feels better like and that's at least getting to know someone, Like a blowjob feels like something you really have to do, like like for me, it feels like I really have to be into somebody to want to put my mouth on their penis. I totally agree with you on that. I think Chelsea being a bag. I agree you ain't no bad head. What's going on out here? So I can teach me how to give a blood job? All right? Why do

you guys get out here? That what you say? I don't remember. I have no idea. I don't remember what you said you were with me, that you're with me you'd rather have sex thing? Because I I told okay, thank you? Yes, yes, Um, I feel like giving a blow job is something very intimate. It's like I'm showing golf. I'm there, you're looking at me. It's it's it's way more intimate than just sex. Like you could turn around and be reading a book while somebody's sucking in front

of That would be awful. Read Chelsey Handler's book Life would be the death of me while you're kind or a blow job I once I remember once in high school to give I think I tried, but it was probably my attempt to give my first blow job. And I remember the guy putting his hand on my head. And when I felt his hand on my head, I thought, okay, I'm not down with Like, I'm not han with anybody putting their hand on my head. I don't like, you know, women don't do that to men. We're not like I

mean if we don't, yeah, exactly. You gotta get to know somebody before they put your hand on their head, especially if they have receding hairline and they haven't shaved. Guys are very subconscious about their hair line. They don't have a fresh shave and you're on their head, They're like, whoa wait a minute, you gotta learn how to give a good blow job. All right, we'll teach me. I mean, you've got a microphone, okay, So look, I'm like, where

do we start a bottle? Okay? This is what I think, or step to a good blow job is the anticipation of it. Right. If you're a lazy person and you don't want to have to go too long, you just have to tease before you actually do the blow job because that will make them come fast. Yeah, I about that, right, So you just kind of like lick around it. So they're like, oh my god, when is she gonna find

any pair her mouth on my dick? And maybe she won't. Yeah, but it's the anticipation because I think that they love that. So I would start off like that. G G, what's next? Um, I like to kiss the penis like pex you know, um make out. Yeah, Like I was just about to say, I like, I like to I really like giving head, and I think I'm really good at it. So I don't know, I'm a little different, but well, I like that you're enthusiastic. I didn't have the enthusiasm I do.

I want to do it like you guys are both like, oh, this's hell. Of intimate and I would rather have sex. I would rather give it. No, I didn't say I would rather have sex. I just feel like it's more an intimate. You just can't sell every um. You can't suck everybody's sick you when you can't maybe with everybody everybody, however, um, you know a lot of spit helps um a lot of hand as if the further it gets down your throat, your makes your mouth wet, so then that's where the

spit comes from. Feel like, please, don't right like a forgot the ball. You don't neglect the ball. Yeah, and carress them. If you're not even going to lick them or put them both in your mouth like I like to do, then you can just carress them and you know, just give them a little bit of a tickle. Massa. I think I'm such a savage these tips. Is. I don't do any of that, Like, I'm like, you know what the first thing is, the very first thing I do in them give a blow job is this? Yeah,

me too, and I do the same thing. I do the same exact thing. That's the very first thing. I look like a like a cat. Yeah. The thing I have with both is that I think because my first experience was so so cemented and it felt so degrading that I have that like, it's just like it's disrespectful. It was disrespectful. It felt for a man put his hand on my head, and even at that young age, that imprint in your physical body actually stays with you

much longer than you realize. So even intellectually, now that I know that was just one asshole, Like, I'm just like, well, you know, say the blow drugs for somebody who really deserves it. It's might be a good therapy discussion, and it's a good therapy. I'll bring it up with my therapy. And I felt like I learned how to that thing better because I had a guy that was like that. Like I was in a relationship with a guy that

was more like, come on, he loved head. So it's like I had to do with so much that I got really good at it. But it would be for like an hour. My job would be like okay, no, that I was young, that's abusive to suck on anything. When I was young and I went I think I just liked him so much and I was like, oh, make it happen. I hate when guys try to make you suck there, dick mad long and hold there. That was really doing that. That's something I could talk about

on the subject of balls. I just remembered because I've been with I don't know, are you guys? Are you guys into white guys too? Have you been with a lot of white and black guys. I've never been with a white guy. You've never been with white guy. Theory white guys. I think in my experience, I will say that black men have tighter more um the tighter ball sacks. I agree with that. Even light skin like Spanish guys, they're a little looser, yes, yes, or something, so the

melanin holes and testicles a little tighter. Just the same reason why black people age better, I guess because their skin is less elastic and they can keep it together more. But yeah, because balls are really tricky and it's nice to keep them in one area instead of having one slide around around. You know, I don't want that because they come around. I've never seen like a ball over there really some older white man and that's the grab that they get older. I think the balls dry. I

don't think i'm balls in my day. I think people on long balls. You guys again, and it's like long balls don't go together. Long boobs are also not a compliment. I think you don't want balls that are long. I'd say that all the time. I don't like when they swing and it's like a penduluminary. I kind of like, I don't like. I don't think it's I'm growing guys maybe not want to get in. But with balls. I don't want balls, but the boss lap. I can't do

the plug, but I could do the ball. What about wat you a second and you like the bulls snack and you want It's No, that's never happened to me. I can't think, has it? No, I don't. It's probably hard to suck long balls too. Are you supposed to suck balls? Yeah, well that's my I've never given a blow job. I'm not. I'm not sometimes something. It's not my thing. You want to know, maybe, but I'm not. I'm not putting a ball in my mouth that's tight,

like he says atter that. I think it's uncomfortable. Like I'm not a big fan of having balls in my mouth either. There because you can't stop too long. I need to go to sandals seems like it's like we're getting I even know a woman like, oh my god, now how much this success and money matter? And a guy that you're dating, Now, does somebody have to have those things? Because you've been with some very successful men. So is it possible for Chelsea to date somebody that

is just making it just scraping by? Well, there's a difference. I need somebody who. I mean, I've tried to dake guys who are just like scraping by and it ends up being kind of really uneven. I don't need somebody to be like, you know, wealthy or rich or anything like that. But I want somebody who as their shipped together. But also for intellectual reasons, I just don't want somebody who's struggling. I want somebody who's on the same page

as me. You know, I'm in my forties now, forty four, and uh, you know we were joking, well not it's not a joke, but you know, everybody knows I dated fifty cent. And then in my documentary, my boyfriend Tie Sewn from high schools in it and I go I said to my friend, said, yesterday, she goes, You know, white guys are never ever because you think you're a trouble dating before, because white guys are never I'm gonna

try to day you have the same thing. You're only like black dudes, And I'm like, no, I like white dudes, but they're fucking scared of me. So with a black eye. But I do get hit up by a lot more black eyes than I do. I know white guys ever

ever approached me. Ever, I feel like it's like you opened the floodgates once the whole, like fifty cents anything, anybody that's near fifty cent and not scared in a way like so, I think from there they were like, yes, we're all able to like slide in her d m more than I don't think like they would even tried, Like even though you very cool, I think now you just crossed over into the black community as soon as fifty cent hit that. But they're not gonna like that.

You don't. But I'm not like, I'm an egalitarian. I like white opportunities, an equal opportunity for everyone. What about Asian Hispanic? Uh, No, I haven't had sex with any Asian men Hispanic. Well a Spanish guy I've I've had sex with. Yeah, I've had sexcellence to Hispanic guys not guys. I think it was that one, but he was actually from Spain, so he literally he's literally Spanish. Uh yeah, I mean, I mean too whatever. I'm into a guy

that knows what he wants. It isn't scared of my personality, Like it's not going anywhere. So if it's just me and I have to hang out by myself with my friends and my family, I'm also down with that. Like I'm not gonna I'm not. I like to have sex, but I don't need a companion, like I don't need a boyfriend. I would love to have that guy, but you know that may or may not happen. He seems

like you'd be a fun girlfriend. I'm pretty fun, yeah, except that you don't suns that can affect our relationship. You know. He's like I can't be friends with because you also don't like to I mean a girlfriend to a guy like you know. Yeah, I've got a lot of guy friends. My guy friends all want to have sex with me, but they're all married, so that's okay. Wait a minute, No, no, no, they all want to see you on your wife. No, no, we don't do it.

But those are the kind of guys I want to date. Like, you know, my friends and husbands and boyfriends are the guys I'm closest to, and so I kind of get the best of both worlds because all my friends, boyfriends and husbands are always looking out for me and they're not my boyfriends. But you know, it's kind of sweet and I gets to hang out with my girls. I'm a third wheel a lot, I really am, or a fifth wheel depends sometimes there's more than one couple. One

thing I saw you was with your friends. It's like, I bring this up all the time. I talk about it a lot because it was like one of the favorite things I've ever watched in my life, and it was one of your documentary And it was when you did Chelsea does Drugs and you you guys are at the table and that looked like a friend. When you did Hiowa, how you say Iowasca, Iowaka? Would you ever like recommend somebody else to do that? And would you do it again? I'm gonna do for so I'm going

right now to meet Jenny after this. After I leave here today, I'm going to meet her for lunch. The girl in the documentary that was Chelsea does drugs um and yes, I would do it again. I just did a podcast about it last week with all of us who were in the episode, to talk about how we felt about it now that it's been four years and if we would do it again, And yeah, I would recommend it. You can't be on antidepressants. You can't be on you know, you have to really clean out your

system and you have to find a good shaman. And I don't know how you do that, that's just instinct or you know, a referral. But people are doing it and people are having transformative experiences. But you have to really respect your own brain chemistry. Like I know that I take tons of drugs. I've always have. I like mushrooms. I like cannabis, and you like so if you like mushrooms, the closest thing. It's not giddy and happy like mushrooms, but it's it's this joyfulness that comes over you. It

is overwhelming gratitude and love you feel. Either for me, it was my sister who's actually standing out there today, Shanna. She went down to the bathroom. She's probably scared to which about anal. She's like, what, Um, we don't know what but but it was an overwhelming feeling of just love and like gratefulness, and you looked at your life. I remember this scene. It plays like there's just these flashes of imagery and it's your whole life as a kid.

Not your whole life, but scenes from your kid like that are real that you have in your brain somewhere that you've forgotten about. And dogs, like I remember seeing a dog from my childhood. I was like, oh, that's Mutley, and I realized, yeah, you had that dog. Like this doesn't make believe. All of the things you're seeing were scenes.

And it was my sister and I running along the beach at our parents summer house and Martha's vineyard, um, you know, because we're white, and we were laughing and like tipping each other over in kayaks and we were holding hands, and I remember there was a scene where I was pulling her down by her hair and I was watching myself and I'm like, I'm I god, I

was three years old. I'm like, you're already fucking bullying her when you were three years old, You're like, and you know, but it was all this like beautiful imagery, and it was for me what ended up happening with the ayahuasca was it was like this voice saying, your sister and you are different. You are not correct, She's not correct. Don't judge her because she wants to be, you know, a mom and a family person and wants to live in New Jersey. You need attention. She doesn't

need your attention. And I was like, oh yeah, I'm the loser. I'm the one who's thirsty here. So it was a whole completely change of my understanding and empathy and compassion for her and understanding I my way isn't the right way. My way is my way and her way is her way. And I want to do Iowa and I can you guys come to l A because in Topanga they have like tons of when you do it, will come and do it totally do get it. We're going to be and we can record it. Am I

going to be embarrassed by this recording? Yeah? Some people were crying streams. I definitely was crying, but I was crying like happy tears. I just kuldn't that's what it is. That's what ayahuaska feels like. But aauaska doesn't make you laugh like shrooms like, it's not fun and it's not social. You don't want to like hang out with me and talk to me about what you're going through. It's very solitary. When I was living in l A, I was I

was planning. I was like, I want to do Ayahuaska and I want to tape and I want to film it. I want to see how how I do. And I wouldn't want to film it. I just want to go through and then if you don't like it, you can do like that. But because I'm actually I might do another one and film it if you guys do it or I do it, but we should stay in touch because I want if I do it, I want to bring a group with me that would would we should

definitely do. The only thing I've done on there that you've done other than the normal stuff was the adderall to That was another thing that like he been bringing my interest. I mean not ada sorry ambient, because I've drank and took ambient and done things and not remembered. So when I've seen what you didn't, you was like drawing your brother and you know, and I looked at it and I could really like I'm like, wow, that's I stopped taking it after I watched that, well ambient

is Yeah, you shouldn't stopped taking terrible, it's terrible. There's so many First of all, cannabis. Well, I know it's not legal here, but you guys can get it here. Yeah, we always right now you need all you need to do is to go to bed down weed. I have a weadline coming out next year in February, and I'm very passionate about cannabis because it is a game changer, you know, maybe a lot less angry and a lot like more tolerant of other people. All right, we're with it. Yeah,

we're gonna go do ayahuasca. I got it to stop, Okay, okay, just right. It starts with an A. Well, it's confusing, I believe me. I get it. It's like I mean, and I feel like I'm such a mess, Like I'm such an emotional mess. I feel like it would be so interesting. Yeah, it's take comes out on it because you know how you want to like what comes out. You don't forget anything, You remember every single thing. I just wrote my book, Like the Aahwaska chapter is a

chapter in my book. And I didn't I didn't know it was all right there it's not one of those drugs where you don't remember. It's not like you remember every detail. And that's what's so profound about it. I think, yeah, I'm not because I don't really do a lot of guys. I did ecstasy a few times and it was nice until I had a bad experience and then I never did it again. Yeah, yeah, that's how take like, Okay, now I'm good. I love shrooms and I did from

so many times last year. I've never I've never taken micro distinguish with shrooms, which is really helpful. Like I take them when I'm skiing, Like I take it. It's like a really it's literally micro docing. So it just goes like people with depression, people with PTSD. It starts to me, it's just like a more up, happy feeling throughout your day. You're like everything's a little bit more sparkly,

but it's almost it's almost imperceptible, but it's not. If you're paying attention to you would do a little yeah, a little a little bit is good. Yeah, you should try micro dos sing. I would do that all right. Now let's talk about you had to take sexual harassment training. Well, I've had to take it several times. I've had to take it several times. They because I tried to bring everybody sex toys. But I figured, like they knew I

have a sex show with the big deal. It's not like I was like, hey, I want to see you use this. It's like you guys want something. I mean, the sexual harassment training is so ridiculous because well it's necessary, but also ridiculous, like you have to they should just think a little bit more about the realisticness of like, you know, they What they said at the end was that we should all if you want to say hi to somebody you don't know what works that you should

dab them like how you say hello and hi. Hugging way, Well, you're not really supposed to hug people. You know, ask if you can hug that, and and I hug you in high school and no public display of affection. We weren't allowed to hug in high school. That's the high school thing where you know, you hug where you know when the guy's like, hey, where's my house? There trying to fill your titties against their chest. We're trying to feel something else, something shouldn't have but yet don't fresh

out the box now. But seriously, so Luria, I had to take it for giving out sex toys. I wouldn't have got that was a problem me there because you know, I worked with a couple of guys and being Charlettagne and they're very inappropriate. Yeah right, so I feel like I could get them on something. This is your moment advantage. And he put um. He tried to embarrass me and put a sex toy in my luggage, my carry on. No, that's embarrassing. It wasn't. I didn't really know. He didn't

put it on. He was about to put it on, so it was vibrating, put it in my luggage and I didn't even see it. Think go through security airports must see. So I'm sure the security saw the bubb plug. And because it was in my purse, I can't travel with sex to it. Probably I just started using sex to its like three weeks ago. They forced me, yes, when used a vibrate Yeah, I did not. I was like, I always looked at it like I'll just get dick or use my fingers because I just thought it was

weird to like fun plastic or whatever. I know, I hear what you're yeah, but I chat it, and now I don't feel the same where you're using that one till that Wasn't it amazing? Tell me it's it's Fantastic'll get you one. You just put on a little tingleberry. You know. It's like a pocket rocket. You ever you ever seen a pocket round. It's a small vibrator and it's but it's a good powering. That's what it is.

It's like the vibration. It's like I called it the automatic and then the little ring and you put your finger through the ring and like you don't even and after right, men will become extinct. I'm so proud of you. I like it. I like it a lot. We're gonna get you right. You just hold it by the ring, you just hang. Have you ever been late to work playing with sex toys? No, late to work because you

were playing with sex toys and watching porn. I'm not late because I'm playing with maybe later the party, I just won't get out of bed. If that's the case, I just will cancel. I'm not work. But like you have a problem, can sex? I canceled like a lunch date with my home girl because I'm in a bit vibrating and masturbating. See, I haven't any times can you masturbate in a rug before you're like I'm done for hours? Really over and you CALLI Max want a time climax?

So do you ever hold your come when you're masturbating? You'll do it all the time, right, because sometimes you're like, I don't want to, I don't want I want to lead up to it and then I'll stopped. See, But I feel like when I do that over and then whenever I feel like if you wait to hold it, the orgasm isn't as good to me because little happened is a orgasm by mistake, and I'm like, fun, I could and it wasn't a good one. It wasn't satisfying minute when you start over, it ended up there for

to work. I sat days where I masturbate the whole day, but not like that back to back, like I'd take like fifteen minutes twenty minute breaks. You know, I'm watching that masturbating. When I was a little girl, I used to call it the feeling because it was when I first discovered my Pikachu and I was like, oh, I

was like dingong, what's going on here? And I went through a phase where I'm masturbated, but it got out of control because I was doing it like around my family, Like I'd hide behind an ottoman and be like they all on the floor rubbing my vagina and like, you know, with rug burns on my forehead, to the point where my family was like, what, okay, we know what you're doing. Yeah, but I thought I didn't know. Little you know how you sometimes think people don't know what's up. Like I'm invisible.

I don't want to bike rides and use the bicycle seat, and I would just be like it would use that and the and the monkey bars on the playground. I remember climbing up to them and I'd be like, oh, I'm getting the feeling. And I got so shamed from it. Well, I didn't get so shamed, but I felt such shame after my parents caught me and we're told like told me, like you have to stop this. And they didn't say just stop it at you know, in public, they were

like just stop all together. So I felt a lot of shame, And I think that might be why I I don't masturbate, like just no, yeah, I mean, do wes porn? No? I mean when I'm into a guy. I think I have like an underactive sex life and drive, Like I have to get more involved with what you guys are talking about, because I mean, you sound like you're all masturbating every day. I'm always tired. Do you have a boyfriend right now? Okay, so then you don't,

but he doesn't live here. But do you still masturbate while okay, so if he doesn't love her, you do masturbab. But if you have a boy you have a boyfriend now, but you're still I don't single, but I was just an intend your relationship and I still masturbated almost every Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. I have yes, and she can square. I have a very high sex drive. Okay, well you can square a lot. I feel when I'm in a relationship, I never masturbate unless it's like me

and him and he wants me to. I never masturbated me. Sometimes he's not and sometimes you can fall asleep and I was all ready to go. I feel like you're still masturbated. You have massurvated and put the cum mustache on him, like smell that you missed. You missed out on that one. This could have been you, oion you could have been you could have been He's like, well, it could have been me if you would have sucked my dick to wake me up. You know, I could

even masturbated in front of a guy before. Oh my god, listen, let me say something. If I'm having sex with a guy and I'm about to come and he comes and I don't, I will finish the job right in front him. Yeah, well as you should. Yeah, absolutely do it. So you do that, Chelsea. No, No, because if somebody fell asleep while I was having sex with them before I came, yeah, i'd wake that fucking house all up to and be like, hey, buddy, I'm here. I have sex once a year. I need

you to wake up. Do you remember your first orgasm? Yeah, well my first orgasm was when I started getting the fielding you when I was with the guy. No, because I was overshadowed by me being alone with myself on a bicycle seat. I mean, I remember the first time I had sex and liking that, and I was like, oh, I could get down with this. You know. I was like a teenager and I had an older boyfriend and I had sex when I was like fifteen, and I was like, oh, this is fun And it wasn't painful

or anything like that. It was just like experience. Yeah, because that bike warmed me up. Bananas, it warmed me up. But yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, everybody likes to orgasm in my favorite Yeah, but do you remember your first one? Because I remember the first time I ever had an orgasm. I had an orgasm way before I had sex with guys, but it would make you have an orgasm before or if they know what they're doing. I've also been with

guys who have no idea how to make a woman. Yes, I've been with guys that I've never came with, and I've been with guys who I always can make me come. And you know, it's when I prefer which one did that? All right? Chelsea? You're doing a red table talk as well. Yeah, yeah, I think that's amazing. What do you all talk about? Give us a spoiler. We talk a lot about white privilege, a lot about the new documentary, which is Hello Privilege.

It's me, Chelsea, about my own privilege because I wanted to make the film, you know, kind of exploring how I got to where I am because for a long time I really believed it was because I have a lot of talent, or I worked a really hard or did I didn't take into account what people who don't have my skin color would go through, or the fact that, you know, I was rewarded time and time again about

talking about things that were supposedly taboo. Uh, you know, like sex and drinking and one night stands And that was my first book, was One night Stands and uh, and you know, and I got rewarded for it over

and over again. And you know, it didn't heard of me until after the election and looking at all of this stuff that we were seeing with all of these people being shot in the back by police multiple times, of all the discrimination, of all the stuff that made me go, oh my god, you've been so far up your own ass you haven't even considered or contemplated what it's like to not be you. Because I think we get lost, and you know this is not you know, this is a lot of us feel this way. We

get lost in our own lives. People are trying to make ends meet. There, they have kids, stories, they're working three jobs. They don't have time to think about other people. And I did have time. I don't have kids, I don't have a husband. I don't have any of that. And I've been the architect of my life in that way because I don't want that kind of responsibility. I want to be able to be like a thought leader. I want to be communicating with people and telling people

my stories and uh. And I really decided that, like I had to make it. I wanted to start making a contribution to people, uh that that need people like me to stick, you know, stand up for them a little bit more. Not to fix the situation, but to bring attention to people that are like me, that are well off and white, who have never contemplated the issue. It's more speaking to white people because it's a white person's problem. White privilege is not a black people's problem. Right,

We created it, so let's start talking about it. And even though it's so uncomfortable, and white people don't want to be found guilty of something because then they have to give it away. They think, Oh, if I say I have a privilege or I'm the beneficiary of it, then what do I have to give up? Which is a great question. What are we all willing to give

up as a community and as a culture. What if we could give up things for other people and would we and you know, and it's a question I asked myself, and it's a question I answered for myself and I and I wanted to spread that message, you know. And so for me, it was really about I think we all hang out with people that look like us, you know, that's our natural instinct is to be like you know, most of my friends are white. It takes a lot

of time to go or not that much time. It takes a conscious effort to go, oh, okay, let me develop a friendship with this person that's not like me. She's from India. Let me get to know her culture and her background so that I have a little bit more compassion and a little bit more empathy. You just learned about empathy too. That's interesting because my psychiatrist you talk about that life would be the death of me and you having to realize that you have sympathy but

you don't have empathy. So how has that changed your life? Well, it's good because you know, I needed going to a therapist and having them actually break down what they think is wrong with you when you're paying them is a great exchange. It's the best way to learn. And I was like, I need you to tell me what you know. I had no patience, I had no empathy, and and he said that, he told me, he goes you lack empathy, and I was so confused about the distinction between sympathy

and empathy. And then over time, you know, you're able to cold as long as you are aware of the situation. Like once he brought that to my attack mention, then I had to look out for it. And I was like, okay, when when somebody annoyed me, for instance, I'd be okay. Now, think about their lives, think about their house and how long they've worked today, and how many assholes they've dealt with, and think about if they have a wife or a

kid that loves them. You don't want to be mean to somebody, you know, Like I had to do these exercises to cultivate that empathy. So it's not something that you just because you don't have it doesn't mean you can't get it. You can get it right. And you know, now it's exhausting because I have these thoughts about everybody

every day. I think about, like the reason this person is being an asshole is because of this this, And it helps me because it helps me because you're kind of like analyzing them and then you and then you kind of feel bad for them. You're like, yeah, well that you're helping me because i'd be you know, I'm a bully. I'm kind of like you. Yeah, yeah, no, I get it. But it's also nice to take a moment instead of reacting to everything. It was responding like

taking the moment. The difference between a reaction and response is the space of awareness in between that you you just said fuck you to me, and if I say fuck you, that's that's ego, that's my defense. If you say fuck you to me and I say, whoa wait, why? Why? Why what I do? Or how do we get here? Yeah? How did we get here? Then that is not reactive.

That's a response. And I had to learn that skill, which I mean if if you watch the documentary, you could tell that I've nailed and they would say some things and I was people are used to me going for it, and I was like, I was on my own mission. I'm like, no, this is empathy. I want to understand because I don't think people are inherently bad. I don't think anyone's inherently bad. You lose your way people make bad choices. They're brought up in environments that

aren't educative. You know, they don't understand the history of except that Trump. Well, Donald Trump, I have no sympathy for yas like that. He's dead in the head. So so that's enough. But but it is a great skill to cultivating. It makes you understand people better and that people have different lives and they have different experience is and and not to be mad at somebody for voting for Donald Trump. To understand why they were moved in that direction, and do they regret it now, because that's

how I really judge you. Did you make a bad decision? Because if you voted for Donald Trump and you still think that was a great idea, I don't know how much empathy I have. Yeah, yeah, that's a racist at this point. If you're still supporting this guy, then you're fucking racist. And that's all there is to it. Right. What do you think about the candidates that are coming up now? Do you see anybody that may I love Elizabeth Warren? I Elizabeth Warren and Stacy Abrams to team

up that ticket to me sounds super super exciting. So yeah, I'm a big Elizabeth Warren fan, what about you. I'm on the fence still. I still want to hear some more stuff. I like, you know who, I really like it. Everybody thinks I'm crazy. I'm part of the young gang like that, you know, because I think he has different approaches and I feel like sometimes you have to take

a different approach. And maybe he's not the president need to be of the day, but I feel like he is somebody that we need to listen to because he's not wrong about certain things that he's said. Yeah, I like Andrew Yang. I don't know if I would want him to be president. I like Elizabeth Warren because she has all those solutions. Yeah well yeah, yeah, Elizabeth Warren

does have solutions. She actually has a plan, which compared to you know, this buffoon, it's like, okay, we're doing I think that needed right now, not just a bunch of talk, not just a bunch of but really a thoughtful, like, well thought out like plan of how to fix this ship because it's a cluster, and to make legislation moving forward that we don't ever get ourselves in a situation where that guy can just sign off a bunch of executive orders. Right, this is a tyranny right now. So

it's what we're living in. But um, Chelsea, I know you have to go, but I want to really honestly, like I was so excited for you to come here because we're watching you forever. I went to your stand up. You know, I read all of your books, My horizontal life that was joy, things like that, and I love the lies. Chelsea told me. You want Chelsey Handler, I mean, Chelsea lately to come back that one. A lot of people want that my mic when we're out of idea. As I say to my team, you'll see it was

to me, that was the best late night show. Like I said, I fashioned myself. When people tell me like, oh, you're talking too much about that, you're talking too much about anal, I'm like, okay, but Chelsea, there you go. I paved your anal pathway. But I'm disappointed about your last sucking skills and how you are. I know, I bet it's everyone, no one stout people more disappointed than me, I'm sure. But next time you come back, because I know you are going to come back, Oh maybe we

should try that what's it called again? We're doing? Should do ayouaska and suck dick on it. No, shall we throwing up his ship? That's what I want. I want. It's supposed to be something that reflects you want me. I'm okay. I think if Jesus you might, That's what I'm saying. I want to do it so bad. Alright, we are going to do it. Time we see each other, we're gonna be yeah. Yeah, she's getting a good shamming. All right. Well, thank you so much. And again, your

tour is happening right now. You're starting off in Australia, right, Yeah, Australia and then I'm doing some North American cities Live nation dot com. You can buy tickets. Oh and we have a tour too, one Live Lives at the end of October. Is it October? Yeah, it's funny money at in Philly and then New York and then we have

a bunch of different cities. We're not going to Australia or nothing, but what we are coming to l a and yes, so make sure you check us out to on Live Nation as well to get those tickets for our lift service live. Thank you so much, Chelsea, We really appreciate Thank you. Girls.