Episode 120: Ft. Radha Blank and Eisa Davis, Writers From "She's Gotta Have It"

was the first thing. That was the first thing. She was on episode five and I was just then putting it on. I'm like, you watched this whole thing. She was like no, because what happened was I had got the I'm like, yeah, no, it really happened was we didn't have the interview, you know, with the cast member, so I want to make sure I saw all of them and if I wait for her, which just wasn't

gonna happen. But she really had an attitude. I was mad better, but I was so excited when I found out they were doing this series because I remember the movie obviously has seen it so long ago, and I remember being like kind of controversial and so different than what was out there at that time, right right, Yeah, it was ahead of his time. I mean, you know, black woman um apologetic about unapologetic, sorry, unapologetic about her sex life, having you know, three lovers and not you know,

having any qualms about it thirty years ago. I think, yeah, you think times they're so different now, Like is it or do you think it's still kind of the same as far as how society judges you as a woman if you're sleeping with you know, more than one man but you're single. I mean I think it's you know, the changing same like we like to say, because because I think there's more recognition that women should be equal

to men, there shouldn't be that double standard. And at the same time, I think that there's still so much in terms of shaming. You know, there's so much in terms of you know, people just saying like, Okay, well she had that coming to her. You know, she's a whole Like if anything goes wrong, it's like, oh, well she was with you know this, what was she wearing? What time are you coming home? And not blame and

you see that it's instantaneous, you know what I mean. Um, like, you see somebody like Rihanna, and we love her, and we actually love the fact of what she represents, Like she's unapologetic about whatever she does. She makes these guys look crazy, right, and she's just like, I don't give a ship right right. She um. She's also Caribbean, and you know, women from the Caribbean and don't apologize for short nibat. But but there's always some scrutiny behind it,

you know, And so we're not quite there yet. Women still make what seventies cents to the men to the men's dollar, and so I feel like across the board there's so much more, so much further we have to go as as women. But I think that in this day and time, the show still feels like it's a

conversation piece. And I think that anytime we can give women permission to just do whatever the funk they want, then we need to kind of support those kind of things because people, I don't know about you, but people hit me up all the time since the show has come out, just saying, like, you know, I'm releasing my inner Nola. That's it. Summer two thousand eighteen. I'm no

longer apologizing for what I want to do. I don't know if they're all going to expose themselves that she did in the end, because there's a lot of questions about how realistic that is. But just to say to me nothing, I would not if I was dating more than one guy, they are not going to meet each other, I'll be horrified. Well can I sort of thing? Okay, go ahead, But I was just gonna say, I have a friend who is who calls himself poly polyamis. I

can't even say the word see polyamorous. He has several partners and they all know about each other, and I think that they had an agreement from the very beginning, because you know, when he brings each love around his friends, he doesn't want the friends to feel like we have

to perform or lie. And so there are people who you know are actually making it work and that in these relationships only because he'd be like, oh, last week with Kim, and you're sitting there with Kim last week, like that's the only thing that I would feel like you get, well, not even jealousy, it's just that if the friend all right, for instance, you out with him and his friends and his friend come over to him, and say like, yeah, when when you and Kim last

week and you're sitting right there, you get what I'm saying. I'm supposed to just be okay with that, like if you have an agreement, but yeah, if you have an agreement and understand is that people have completely different love styles, love languages, love personality. Some people are just let me lock it down with this one person forever, you know. Some people are like, let me lock it down just for show with this one person. But I'm going to have all these d L creeping things on the side,

which to me, that's really what's messed up. The thing that Nola does that is so amazing is she's totally accountable, and that's what I think. You know, people who are truly polyamorous, you do you have to say, like, this is what I'm up to, I'm with other people, and you have to be straight up about it. Not only it's like it's both psychological health is also physical health, Like you need to know things, And I think that's what's really great about you know what what Nola models.

Whether or not it's hard for people to get with people to understand that you might actually be that open. That's what about them meeting each other, though I think it's one thing to be like I'm dating other people, right, Well, I'll say this. I'll say this. I had one little spell of polyamory where I was I was like coming out of college, and I was just kind of thinking to myself, I've never really tested the notion of monogamy. I just always assumed, you know, I'm just going to

be with this one person at a time. And then when I came out of college, I just thought, well, what if I tried, you know, dating a few people at the same time. I've been seeing what that's like. And I did, and and the two of the people did know about the other person like met each other, and I was just, you said it up for them to meet each other. I was just I was like, why don't you guys come over my house? I liked

them both. There were people that could take space, so that if I had have done it, it had been at the park. We have witnesses, so they have something ship POSSI you public space. There were a lot of people there, Okay, I thought it was just like there were a lot of people there and I can't say that, you know, like the person who I wasn't spending the night with was happy about it that night, and right, don't now Actually it was though, is that I tested it out. They knew they were it was and it

was not. It was not. It was not easy to deal with that feeling that they had about the other person. And then you know, after a couple of months of that, I was like, this is tired. I can't handle this. So now I know and I'm good to go back.

You did it, got it out of your system. I think the thing with um no less example, as I should say, it's like, you know, what I hear from a lot of my male friends is that they cheat or they take other lovers and keep it quiet because they don't think that the woman that they're saying will understand it. They never really ask us and give us a chance, you know exactly. Now, That's what I think.

Maybe the reason they don't tell us is because we might actually be okay with it, and then they'd have to think about us entertaining like, well you're doing you so, and I feel like, give me a choice. Just put me in a situation where it's like I'm blindsided. You have to let me know if you think that for

Black women and white women is different. Like I think it might be different only because black women not to get all deep, but black women in terms of like our sexuality and connection to a time when we didn't really own our bodies in this country, I do feel like there's just this added pressure often to as a black woman, to perform in the light of good you

know what I mean. And when we do something, I don't know that white women feel that it speaks for an entire race or an entire gender, you know what

I mean. So I do think that might make it harder. Yeah, I feel like we have different rules too, Like in college, you know, I feel like, because you know how they always say becky is like you know, obviously that came from white girls giving head, And I feel like I know a lot of white women because I went to a predominantly white college, but they feel like, you know,

giving head is nothing. I felt like for us, it's a bigger deal in a way, like guys would always prefer that you had sex with somebody didn't get them head when I was when I was young, you gave her you was a home. Like even to change change that's it. As soon as the dick, like that would be a great song, a coming out. That's how it used to be. But we could do like a black

rabbing mastead of exactly. It's hard for me to generalize like that though, because you know, like, because I feel like there are plenty I think that being promiscuous, whether you're doing it on the low or doing it up above for everyone to see. You know, that runs through every different race, every different Oh I don't. I don't believe that, no, because, like you said, it seems to be for for white women. The stereotype is that, like there aren't as many qualms, you know, like giving head, it,

sucking dick or whatever. It's like it's just more of a social thing where it's with black women. We saw it on that episode Insecure with like kind of like, oh no, girl, I don't do that. We have to have a certain level of relationship for me to just give head, you know what I mean. So I do think that within our community, we have different parameters around

what we consider permissing. I'm telling you every guy he asked, like, if you ask a black man, he'll be made way more mad that you gave somebody had he sat the dick then if you had I did things? Yeah, because did you sucking, especially if you something good girl not? Don'ts that if you did, she swallowed it. If you think about that, she was sucking the next nig dick remember that a chicken chicken chicken head. So it's like

a playlist playlist on titled for dick sucking song. And then it's like the other playlist, which is, you know, Downtown done. Down Town is fun, you go down town. But when that song came out, it just at the time it seems so salacious, like damn town. It compares to nothing that's coming out now. It's like people talking about leaving my p that. We thought that was racy back then. You know that he said lay your head on my pillow was about him performing oral sex on her.

What's it? Yeah, rail lay your head of my fellow? What called me that? Because she said Rapiela, did you call me? I said call me? Yeah, will be look at me? The the things that were like racy back then, or even when Salt and Pepper did the song Let's talk about sex, and everyone was just like blusoshing. It's

like sex that's almost like a church song. Now. Yeah, you know what when I was down, I used to be embarrassed when calling me bad, I want to sex you up and come on, in the kind eyes of my parents, I'd be like, oh my god, right right right right now, right on you talking about that, because you know anything geting song coming through? You know the beginning, like the intro of that song where he's like, I

wonder if she could tell I'm hard right now? So I didn't know what they were talking about because when they came out, I was kind of young, so that I was like the little poem. I didn't know, I care, I miss you. I was young. But you know what the problem with that song was that it was a little poke. I mean, nobody had to. I wanted you should have said, I feel a little poke coming through. I'm through. She should have just walked af to the next guy. We don't go this. It's a little They

look like they got a little pokes. You guys had little dick shaming, and that's not right. It's not right. Mars has a little dick that was let me tell you something because listen, so we're in we're in the writing room. We create these things, and I actually think I'm showing my asking. It might have started as a joke. I think it did. I think it started a joke. We knew that there was gonna be a painting with

one figure with three heads. And then I'm not I won't take credit for it, but somebody said, and the dick should start talking, and if these dicks could talk to show burning. But you know what I'm what I like about that moment, it's like at the beacond. What I like about that moment is this real? It's like everybody as slang, you know what I mean? Um? And I guess what he lacks in dick size, Mars makes up for in personality. Personality. He makes a laugh. Good job, Mars.

Where the dick? Now? Do you think that you could find everything that you would want in just one person? I don't know, from not from my experience. Um, I think I think that that's really dangerous. It comes from like a whole Victorian notion of romance, you know, like that's when things started to flip. It used to be like, Okay, I got my village of people, you know, I have my ceremonial husband or wife or a partner of whatever.

And then I got my whole family got my friends, you know, I got my priest, got the farmer, and you just and and you could turn into your whole community to fulfill all your needs. And then there got to be this pressure on having this one single person that satisfies everything. And I think I'm sure religion helped to create that, right, So, I mean, I think it's

very possible. Um, I think that many people end up living that way, you know, where they are able to find all the things that they need in a person. But UM, I think that it's it's you shouldn't put that pressure on anyone else. I agree. I agree. And at one time, when um was in therapy, because there's

no shame in doing that act. Exactly when I was in therapy, I was seeing someone and talking about my relationship fabulous, talking about my relationship in the therapy session and talking about how my partner, you know that just what my disappointments were, and I'll never forget her saying to me, like, you have to create a partner out of all of the people in your life, you know, like look to get certain comforts from your female friends,

get certain comforts from your platonic male friends, and get a certain comfort from your partner, and it really did alleviate a lot of pressure that I was putting on this one person to comfort in all of these ways, you know. And so I feel like maybe for some people it would be multiple lovers um or maybe just taking the pressure off that one lover fulfilling them and looking for a guidance from their girlfriends and there, you know, coworkers,

that kind of thing is it's a recipe for disaster. Really, you know, if you're just you have all those expectations, because of course another person can't make you happy, right, It's just like that's got to come from here, and then you share that with someone. Sure, but I feel like it's cool that you said, like, put some of the pressure on your friends, like your girlfriend or whatever.

I'm tired of everything girl by but I do. I do feel like that's that's a nice thing to say, other than being like, all right, just run to the next person because I'm not gonna lie. I feel like with I say I'm in a relationship, I want him to be able to lean on me for certain things instead of being like, well, let me go confide in this girl that I met the other day, Like no, nigga you better tell me anything you've got a problem with.

You don't care if it's your boss. If it's like I wouldn't want him to go to another woman and lean on her. But what about his friends? That's okay, So he can't have female friends. I mean, not that he's like confiding in like that, No, because then what would am I he? What if it's like a coworker and they're talking about up there works, that's different. What about a childhood friend but they've known since you know, I have childhood friends like to talk about something like

work or something. But when it's seting close to the heart, like if you're talking about family or so like just stuff like that, I feel like you're not supposed to let everybody in your business like that. Like, if I'm talking about something to do with my family, it might only be one of the person or two people that know, you know what I mean. I'm not gonna just go confide in the person that I see at work every day that I think it's his nice look, she said,

a childhood friend. No, no childhood friends. I mean if they've been friends from childhood and they ain't sucked this long. But if they did, when they were younger, but it's been twenty years. Since twenty years is a long time. But at the same time, like you see his dick again, happen here on it unless he got a new dick, if he replaced the dick that he put in her.

You know what, I really what I what I realized though, because I also feel like your partner is gonna need somebody to talk about you with because they got to do that. But what I realized is if you're friends with someone who is married, their partner not knows all your business. Just so yeah, I know that except that, but that was a revelation for me, Like a couple of years ago. I was like, wait a minute, oh, girls,

husband knows my business. I could tell because when that person I was talking about walked in the room, like I was like, you know what I mean, okay, right, like you need a drink, don't worry about it. There's like a difference between you know, being emotionally unfaithful and just having like really good friends, you know that where you need to work something out before you bring it

back home. You know what I mean? I look for that, like I want that kind of openness in a relationhip I would want my boyfriend to have like a couple of female friends that he's cool with, because I wanted like that. I'm cool with two and I don't have a problem with that. I'm working at, like, please say something that I just felt like a couple of female friends wanted head gonna end up on his last That's not true. I think of other and all his female friends.

I'm one of them. How many of them did he sucked up? Like not Angela, but other one? She was the exception. Oh my gosh. I'm sure he has other females around that he didn't suck But he has females around that he did that he calls friends. But you know that. But okay, but that's a perfect example. Like you know that he would call me and talk about like stuff and you don't have a problem with that. You will talk about me when I said stuff me.

You know what? The reason I think, at least I'm saying this on paper, right, I don't know if this is real. I haven't really tried it out. But the reason I think I like the idea of my partner having a good female friend is because we are different sometimes down the gender line, you know, and I feel like I've learned a lot about men and how they walk through the world from my male friends, like checking in with them and saying, am I crazy for that's Y and Z and the like where you are? You know?

You know what I mean? Like sometimes it does come about our tribes around gender and if there's a friend of mine who can enlighten me in terms of yeah, you want to approach a person as an individual, but we are conditioned based on gender sometimes and my male friends can be like, oh, girl, I don't know, he better have a sister. I know he got a mother. You don't have guy friends if you're talking to somebody like when my last real real relationship, most of my

men friends with his friends. What I'm talking about your own friends? Yeah, I have my own friends, but they wasn't guys, and like, you don't think that's a problem.

And my guy friends wasn't Like I wasn't like that at all, and he knew them, like it was different, Like they have relationships too, so that would be something, but not just like a guy like y'all said a guy that I had sex with many years about that now I'm just saying a friend, Yeah, definitely I mean, you're like somebody that I knew, but he would know them. Like I need to know if I'm dating guy that he can be friends with women without wanting to sun

them and have a ton of relationship. Now, yeah, I think it's a problem if men don't have women friends. That means that anybody that they interact with us the woman and somebody they that's cool, but I don't want this woman to know all of my business business. But he's confronted, He's like, what should I get her for Christmas?

That's different if we're talking about gifts for me. You can talk to anybody if um, you know there's an issue within relationship, within the relationship where they're bigger and over whatever, and he brings it to the mutual female friend to get her insight on where he should go. As far as you know the situation, I see. My problem is not necessarily always the guy is mad, grimy girls out here right, and I'm just being a hunted that like that she's fucked up. You know what you

need to do. You need to leave high that you get what I'm saying. And I've never had that. I've seen it done so many times to make it won't put you through be saying. You get what I'm saying now, you know I always told about my home girl most guys. Most times when I did a guy and he has women friends, I'm cool with them too, and like if they go to he'll be like, you know what I told us that she said I was wrong, So I'm calling. But some some women are cool and you can but

there's a lot that's not. And that's what makes me feel like I wouldn't want him to just be confiding about our relationship when another woman like talk to me like, don't confide and be like, you know, Larry as pussy was whacked all right? Now, let me ask um, both right and from your own personal standpoint in your own life, if you had to choose from one person from She's got to have it, okay that Nola Darling was dating, is it gonna be Jamie Grier? Mars are open? Pick Mars? Okay? Right?

You mean that we would want to in your real life, who would you date? Who would all of them? It would be Mars? Right, Um, Opal to me is a grown ass woman and I appreciate that about it. But for me, laughter is so important like learning how to diffuse by laughter and also Mars when that thing went down with her graffiti, like he was he's ready to pop off, but he was so proactive about helping to

solve her problem. So he had the humorous sign and then he had like a really I feel like out of the three men, not so much Opal, but out of the three men, he wanted to possess her the least you know it. He was dating her friend first though, Yeah, but he did ask the friends for money. He asked the friend for money for her, So I guess you know that's over, but that's because they still come up in their friendship. Yeah, she uh, Clarinda does bring up

the G code, the girl code, like you. I like that y'all did that because it seemed like the elephant in the run that nobody was gonna say anything about. But then she came out was like, well you know that was my men, Like what's up? Do you think? But here's the thing, though, do you think Clarinda really wanted to be with Mars so she was more upset friends friend to her. Yeah she's gonna okay, yeah, you

got it. You gotta netflix and chill it up. They're just like the opposite to that attract, which is why you know Solrenda and Mars. I've Mars and Nolan have a little opposite of track. So Okay, she's not living with her sister in the project, not that there's a judgment on that, but um, he travels by bike. She just not, you know what I mean, Like there's an age difference. He's goofy, is fun, like he's fun, but Loki, he's really immature a little bit. I don't think I

can't see him with that with the one. I'm sorry for Clarinda, So I'm gonna feels and and for our listeners who maybe didn't see she's got to have it yet, but I know you're all gonna why too now, So um, she's got to have it right. Nola Darling has four different levers, three of them a man, one of them is a woman. They all know about each other basically, and so they all have very extremely different personalities. So Mars is the one that's like fun, but he's probably

the least established out of all of them. So yeah, he's the youngest, but he's fun young. Yeah, I mean, and I felt this way in the original movie. I felt like Mars was the person I would want to kick it with. You know what, he put her panties, panties on Mars also, well, no, I mean this is the thing is that I kind of wouldn't be with any of them. I would I mean, you have to

pick one, like, no, I do? I know, well, I'm kind of this is a thing where you kind of see a little bit of evolution with this character through the series, and so Greer that I mean, what I would pick really is like I just want to be a man because I'm straight. That's to do it, because

she's like just dope. But um, I feel like Greer actually is he starts to shift, he starts to kind of soften and see her and and you can kind of feel that, you know, maybe the whole arrogance thing really is this act that he's been putting on all these years, and that you know, there's actually something that is really sweet and giving, you know, and where they somehow can really connect in terms of the visuals with him being a photographer a painter, and that they actually

might have this real connection artists, you know what. You know what, It's funny a lot of the feedback I see online social media about Greer is people think that he's low key gay, and I was just like, really because because but he but he addresses like Prince and Prince love himself someone you know what I mean, Like

you can say, okay, let's see um. It's just it's just so funny to me that in two thousand seventeen, two eighteen, like a guy folding his legs or you know, being greased down or crawling across the floor like a line. I feel like you could you set to laugh that thing? I know, I felt like you can laugh at him because as soon as he would have got a hall for all. Right. Now, that brings me to my next thing. What's the corniest thing a guy has ever done in

the bedroom with you? Will start with you? That you was like because Greg actually crawled across the floor and he's like like like I got a line in my pocket. And I thought that was so corny. I was like, if a guy did that to me, it might just like complete. He's like, no, man's gonna head at how I'm about to head at right now. I don't know. Corny would probably be to just talk a whole bunch of game and not be able to back it up.

I think that's corny to me, right, Yeah, should never talk a lot of ship and just guys, and guys have a problem with that, like they, you know, prior to get in with you, they tell you all these things they're gonna do to you and with you, and then crickets. Right, So you're trying to say they should, um, what is it? Under selling over delivery? That's it. They

should try doing that. But then you can't also under undersell it because then you'll be like, yeah, it's gonna be okay, like Dick is a regular you gotta go, But just don't. It's fun go that hard with saying you know how great you are? Yeah, really, in our reality you ain't really all that great. I think too much conversation about the sex, like this is gonna be the best sex you've ever had. How about you just shut up, shut up and put up, because those are

the corny moments to me. When someone's like talking to me while you you like it, who's this this? And it's just like you really want to know who's it's it's Jesus, Like, what do you want me to say that you hold it? You're renting this for the hour, you temporarily in this moment. So they're talking the corny talking. I could do without, man, I mean I just had

a flashback. I mean, you know when you're in relationship for a while, it was like maybe the second year or something, and you're kind of looking for things to like spice it up, right, And I was laying on the bed and then how did he just like come out of the hallway and into the bedroom but naked with with like a neon bow tie? On? Man, how do you why do you have it? From his job? He thought, I don't know, somehow I gonna just make me, you know, just jump out of my panties. So what

do you do? I was just like, that looks really stupid. Why are you doing this? How that Gan? I mean, I feel for him because he was trying, but no, he tried it effort. It did the opposite for me, So was that it for you? No? No, we we tried, we made we but yeah, eventually that was a sign. Maybe yeah he's like family, But I think we never really had a full kind of sexual chemistry, you know what I mean? I did. It was one guy and he had uh. So the first time I went to

his house. I had never been there before, and this is when I was in college, and it was like you know, um, you know, we were home for the holiday. So I went to his house and he had a water bed. Damn, I forgot about that. It was I've never seen a water bed before in my life. Listen, I don't know why he had a water bed like I've never seen when I didn't even know they existed anything ready I had. So I come into the bedroom and he I'm embarrassed. I don't want to know. You

gotta finish, to finish. She had a leopard like or something underwear, and he was like laying on the water bed, feel like a movie. His body was like, by the way, why does nobody use water beds anymore? Because they stubb and it's probably mad back terry and that ship. No, I don't want it. I'm just wondering because you know where he anybody out there. He probably thought the water bed was gonna help, you know, make you feel, but then squishing around. Hold on, no, now I want to

try that. I gotta find the water bed. I do want to have sex on the water I want to make love on the water beds gonna get some lettuce tonight? How was it? And you gotta just play some type of like ocean music or something. But how would like how was sucking on the water. I didn't him on the water bed. It was now because yeah, he had on the leopards. That's what really ruined it. It It wasn't just the I was first. I don't know where you even would at one from what because it has to

like a vantage. I don't sleep. Here's another debate we had, Okay, g are you more the type of person who likes somebody more in the beginning and then it wears off or don't like somebody so much, but they really grow on you and then you fall in love. I think I don't like them at first, thank you, and then they grow on me and not eventually fall in love.

Persistance of it comes resistance. Baby arguing about this for years, there has there has been a few that I thought like, oh my god, he's amazing, and then want, want, want, But there's been more of I guess eventually like and then he's like, bitch, get out of here. You don't like me, and what about you? Rather? I'm a libra, so I I fall in love like twenty times a day, and and then somewhere around it goes, oh, oh, you don't really like this person. This is not gonna farewell

in the real world. But like yeah, like in the very beginning, like I just a laugh or something about them makes me go, oh, is this person that I need to be around them? And then you know the reality I see like an Ashley foot or skid mark or something that makes me did you did you just say a skid mark in his draws? Listen the toilet or something like the carpet. I've had that experience. Yeah, it was. It was just I didn't really get a good look. I just would you being a cooler or

it was just a grown man. This was years ago, and maybe he was Okay, you don't know how to wipe itself. He's still young. Real quickly, Walmart sells water beds and there's look at a place called water bed Outlet. Much with the holidays with thousand dollars. Wow, he was boiling Jesus with free shipping. I'm I'm getting your buttter bed. I'm playing. It's like the whole wooden vercludes everything. It's a whole bed whom set sparkling appreciate playing with me.

I'm getting a water bed. Okay, sorry the Leppard speedo. It's probably good for your bad Can you imagine just how harderness to get to so good on the water bed? Like you go like this be girl like a drama.

Men have dreams about being on the end too Titanic or slave show, slave ship like it nowadays about it, you said you're more of a like fall in love, but then like like like like a lot in the beginning and then I mean, I've had situations where I get to know that I go more so it's a big emotion in the very beginning, and then it kind of changes into something else, you know. But yeah, what about you, Issa, Yeah, I'm the same way. I just

fall like that. I mean sometimes people like slowly creep up when I was like, let me check this person out. But you know, it's really only been one person that I was ever with, where at first I was kind of like you corny, and then you know, a couple of scotches later, I'm like, oh, I'm enjoyed talking good But no, I mean, yeah, I would say that I'm definitely I just I see it right away. And also because I think I see right over people's shortcomings. I

don't even notice them. It's deep. It's like, I mean, I think that really that really happened, like you know, with this one person actually who I didn't really like it first. I was just kind of like, okay, now if I'm liking you, then you know, I actually am finding that I'm not even annoyed with you ever, Like I'm just kind of recognizing these certain things about you or just your personality, and it's not really something that

you know, I should trip on, you know. So that's that's my problem, because obviously sometimes people just aren't right for you, and then you're not compatible. And then I think we've know. You know, they say when a relationship ends, it actually ended, like say a relationship was the was the length of two years, and it ends they say the relationship end of the year ago. But you just haven't.

I think for women, we'd be out of a relationship before the man knows that we're out of it, right, I tell you, I was done with this naked girl. They don't know that we're they're messing up, and they think we're forgiving them and we're but we're really like mentally like Okay, right, that's cool. Two months later, come

that in the book, but this in the book. Yeah, and then and then by the time we're already kind of recuperated because we've been dealing with it and knowing it's about to happen and like going through it, so that by the time it's time to break up, you already the broke up and went through all the emotions. And then guys are just off guard, like, oh, Ship, I didn't see that coming. You know that happened with my ex boyfriend, the one that I was with for five years. Oh yeah, I knew I was and he

did so much. Ship. I knew I was going to break up with him. I just wasn't ready to do it right away. But then by the time I was ready, I was. It was a clean break, no going back, and he really thought we were going to work it out. And when you when you were when you knew you wanted to break you knew the relationship was over, but didn't break up with him. What caused you to stick around?

I didn't really know what I did, but I didn't like there's a lot of things that I felt like he was doing and he didn't stop doing them, and I just wasn't ready to break up with him yet, so but emotionally I was like kind of distancing myself until I was prepared, because it's like you could either break up with somebody and then like just be away from them but still be not over it. But I was like kind of getting it over it while I was still with him. That was a weird thing. No,

he had no clue. Yeah, he thought Listen, he was chilling thinking that like we were going to break up, and then you know, when we did break up, he thought that I would like forgive him eventually, and I just never did. But that's because I went through it

all for like months. If I think they don't you think men do that too, where they'll they'll be done with you and yeah know they'll be with another woman and then hanging in there and assholes until you break up with them because they don't really want to break up with you. They don't want to be I'm telling you, they get another woman breaking up with you. They go out and yeah, they'll get another woman. And when you

break up is when you find out. When you find out about the woman, and you're so mad and you confront him and you're like, I'm gonna leave you. That's when y'all break up. But he's not gonna just talk this over here. He's not gonna be like it's not working, I don't want to be with you. He's just gonna sunk up until you break up with him. That's right.

I have a question for you all, um about the concept of cheating, Like I feel like a lot of women have kind of when they go into relationships, they just have an expectation that a man is going to cheat. She does, she does. Yeah, I think a majority and men cheat like majority, I'm not gonna say a percent, but maybe like ninety eight point nine. I did the pole and when I came up with was ninety eight

point nine. I don't go in with that expectation. I mean, I don't want I don't go into a relationship like, yes, I want him to cheat on me. It's not like that. No, But I think when I go into a relationship, like you know, a lot of men cheat. I'm not saying and I'm not okay with it at all. So you know, I try to be on my p's and queues. You know what I mean. You have no female friends, you can't tell nobody about friends, you know what they talk

majority of a friend. We had Kevin Hard on right the breakfast club, and he talked a lot about another unfaithful man. And by the way, anyway, I didn't see that coming when that happened the way that a day with Kevin Hart, only because I mean I really didn't because of his humorous persona was because he went through so much before with his ex wife. He didn't have to get married, so I thought that he had just

kind of like you know, gotten over it. But anyway, after the interview, the guys Umne was saying to me, they were like, why do you women want to know why men cheat? We don't even know why we cheat. In their nature, they can't help it. But that's also like an excuse for them too. I feel it's like giving them an excuse, like it's just don't ask us why. We don't know why, and it's not even a reason. You're not even giving a reason. You just said we don't know why. I know someone who said just gi

to your point. Um he was just it was almost like he was like a seventh or five percent of you know, street knowledge. He's like, man cheat because our organs is on the outside. You know what I'm saying, Your organs is on the inside, and the outside organ is always seeking the inside or you know what I mean. But that he was kind of like explaining in a

way by nature. But I do think men cheat because some men, of course general generalizing here belvis here, some men do cheat, I think because they are influenced by their social set and they have friends make them feel like, really gonna lock it down with that girl, just her, because they'd be having a trash girl. And then they see their men, if you backs though, like they'd be having a trash girl. And then they see their men all happy and in love with the perfect person that

they wish they could be with. So now they're like, now, y'all sound like some better men because men do that, because women don't we do that too, Like aren't you influenced by your friends? Also? I never time my friends like, oh ne that you tell them, But I'm just saying, like the girls that do that when your friends are single, it's like fun, it looks like more fun sometimes. Yeah, then when you know what I'm saying, and I'm sure it's that way with men too. I mean when I listen,

men are like that when their friends not even single. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, because men are married are not saying and they still are singing. They're like, come on, we're going to the strip club. Like she's she's not letting you go to the strip club. She's crazy, Like, oh, that's another good Netflix. Seriously, she's married. I'm not serious. Single married man, single married man, single married man. You know, he's a single married man. I feel I feel like,

I don't think this is necessarily a mature man. But I sometimes I wonder if men make choices based on what their friends think. You know what I mean, because I'm I'm just speaking from personal experience. I've always been like a thick girl and the funny girl. And that you said a dick girl, I'm about to say I've been a girl too. I've been that girl who in high school, a certain guy will like me, but because his social set expects him to date a certain type

of girl, he won't. They might want to step to me in the cloak of night or what have you, because he's so influenced by the men in his life. And sometimes I wonder when I see men choose women. Are they choosing them because they really want to be with that woman or because the woman fits the image for their friends, you know what I mean? Like that's not necessarily an evolved man or, but I know a lot of men who do that. I mean, at our industry,

they a lot of times. I think, you know, men pick women based on their image and all the same just saying do you feel like for both of you, do you feel like men like you because of what you do? Sometimes too, I would say, so they'd be like, are you know she didn't she AMPI and she broke Yeah, you know Spike, oh yeah, going to a game or just you know, because I also I say as well.

So it's like, you know, I feel like in some ways that actually is something I have to get around because if someone has what we call a talent crush on you, talent crush, then they might not actually be down for who you are as a person. You know. That's what I really love in in at the end of she's got to have it, you know, she comes out and she's got her head wrap on, she's got

on her T shirt. You know, she's not like, dude up for these men when she when she first comes out, and I just love that she's just like just taking me as I am, you know, like I don't have to be flashy for you. I don't have to put on anything for you. Like but that's part of that talent crushes that are this that should look cool too. When she's like doing in the house and she because you don't expect her to be done at that's how you're supposed to, like wander wise, it's like gorgeous drop

off makeup, not nothing. And every time she smokes a joint it makes me want to smoke to triggers that desire, but you smoke every day anyway, So I don't know what a lot like. I quit and then I saw Nola. I was like no, no, you know, I gotta roll up just like a drinking like yeah, last day, no tomorrow, tomorrow, stepping out of stepping out, Thank you so much. Al

right e Sa Davis, I have a proper good time. Um. I used to do stand up comedy for a number of years and I had to like girl, yes, and I had to like, you know, it's very flattering when men are like, you know, very into you and stuff and they you then you catch it, you go, oh, you just saw me perform. That's who you like, that's

who you might be feeling, you know. Um. But and I remember, even when I was doing like a lot of theater and plays, all these fine as actors like yeah, you know, we should too long, we should let's go out to see and I'm like, yeah, all right, good. And then after a while, you're like in the middle of what you think is a date, You're like, oh, he thinks like I'm gonna put him in a play or get him a role and spike or whatever. Like there are those people, which is why I think I

tend to not date people. And then and it's interested in the arts who aren't impressed, who can be supportive of you and what you want to do, but they're not like ask you all these questions of yeah, you know what I mean. That's so annoying because but I leave it. I don't even really want to talk about what just tell you I do not feel like it.

I don't feel like And then it's so awkward if you're like dating somebody and they need a favorite, like I wouldn't date somebody that needs favors, right, but you know, have a question. So, if you don't date guys in the industry and stuff like that, or you you try not to, where do you meet these guys that you do end up dating? Girl, see you single, I'm very very She's like, you know, like I recently, you know,

I spend time between New York and Baltimore now. So it's that's a whole new gene that I've but it's it can be tough because a lot of times I feel like I've I don't tell people what I do because I just want them to meet me. Even when I lived in l A at one point, you know, you go to parties and people like, so what do you do? What do you do? And that's all I say, And I would just be like, I'm trying to figure

things out. And if they walk away from me, then that's somebody I don't Next time, you gotta be like, I smack people to ask me what do I do. I'm joking. I'm joking, all right that ladies. Have y'all ever been in in a situation in a room where you saw more than one person you dated, you like at a party and like it I just okay, you know what I felt like it happened to me a

lot more when I was younger. You'd be like four people because it'll be like I'll be in the club, right and it'll be like like saying, like when I lived in Miami, that's very small, like it's only about one club that night or whatever you see, you'll see more than one person that you're dealing with. And me, I never dealt with those situations very well. At the end of the night. It was always somebody cursing me out on my text because you have a jug yourself, Like, God,

have five people in here. That's a lot. I'm probably older than you young ladies, a lot older, and I look back on those days with pride. I do ha ha ha. That was fun. Remember he was in the club and it was like four months that ship that you like you you lived, you lived, you were living, So I I have no shame about that now, Like I look back, like you'd like, now y'all gotta lie

in coming my body. Yeah. See. Now I go out and I'll be lucky if I find somebody in the club that I even think it's attractive, Like I'll be saying, like, oh my god, these fucking ways, but you're not gonna really probably meet nobody in the club now, no, but back in the day, like now, back then, you know, that's some sense that where we're gonna meet these like where do you meet these guys? That's why I said that,

you know, while else I think I'm single. Honestly, it is because I made this declaration that sometimes I'm like, why did you say this? It was like I don't want to deal with anybody that I don't like, if that makes any sense, Like you know, like I feel like we meet all the time, but to really like someone. I'm not talking about being in love. I'm not talking about like necessarily oh I want to suck them, but like you just like them. And I made that declaration

and I don't like nobody. Gee, what are you still single? Yes? You do? You like anybody? I'm boring? Here? Your bored? See why I'm board because I'm not dating. This is this is I'm gonna tell you why. Yeah, I'll be like gig now, mind you, I only go out for like work stuff, but some days, like I might have like a day and and is out of town or you know what I mean, parents out of town, and I'm like, all right, Gigi, let's go, you know, mingo with some fellas, and she'll be like, well, she's an

old Jewish. Yeah, let's go hang out with some thotars, right, and just like, well, I just made mac and cheese. I got my onesie. I might have the part later. I don't know if people shut up me a picture with a wine glass. I don't want to my onesie. My friends are boring, like, don't you feel like I'm not gonna ask your age? But I feel like that's when you really like to me, are grown. It is when you can be home and you have your Netflix and your little drink and I can do that, but

don't sit here and talk about you bored. If I'm like, come on, I don't have dream absolutely right, because you can't be like, well, I'm single, but I am not really making no effort to going out because girl, I had so much. But you don't clash of the game with the night before, I wasn't there, Oh girl. I came in. I was like five, and the more I ain't did that since I was only I came in the house and I was leaving for work. I walked in and it was just like but then she said,

I'm not going out anymore. You text me that one of those. Well, she's about to get her in place, but she's been staying. I got my house, stay there. She's been Oh my god, it's not borings. No, I'm not gonna lie. It used to be so much funner because I was crazier. Fun is not a word fun. There's definitely worth if conversation is okay sex on the

first day. I just was talking to somebody who I just randomly, you know whatever, our interest is talking to me, and she was telling me how she met this guy and they had sex on the first day and she still with him to this day and it's like three years later. I was like, that is amazing because you always here like were aligned. You always can have sex on the first night and still be together. Why is

that so? Like? I know, but people always act like, oh, a guy is not gonna like you if that happens. And I've never believed that. I haven't. I don't either, And that's also on that premise of like women you should withhold just sex to keep him interested. What if you want to have sex? You's always about the men people trying to trick him into like, I'm gonna tell Steve Harvey you said that. Come on, Steve, are you and your mustache? Comfort of us could fire? Do you

remember this movie? Um? Two can play that game. Let me tell you something that movie. There's so many jewels in that And there's a moment in the film and I was thinking about it when you were talking earlier where she has she has an issue with Morris Chestnuts character. Vivica Fox has an issue with Morris Chestnuts character and her girls are like what they all come into like what girl? What? What? What? And she turns the camera and she says, don't tell your girls what's going on.

Don't tell them all your business because from this moment on, they're gonna see him through that prism of like he fucked up. And I was sitting there taking those like this movie really did some gems. And in that movie

they slept together on the first date. So you know, there's no I don't think there's a rule necessarily about you know when I saw that movie on nine eleven, and I won't forget that because I was I was living in Jersey City and I could see the smoke like above my apartment and there was nothing to do. You couldn't go anywhere, so I went to the movie theater. I walked over there and I stayed and I saw

like three movies that day. And that was one of the movies that I said, I always when I see that movie, think about n that's me and Glitter I went to see. I went to see you went to the movies to see Glitter. That's my mom, probably like the only one person it was like us in a gay couple. Sounds right, No, I'm probably gonna believe, okay. And I appreciate you so much for coming. I had a great time. Jeez, you gotta watch. I'm gonna watch.

I've been wanting to watch out. I was so excited that you guys were coming, because, um, I love the movie for one, and I've been hearing so many good things about the series. It's so good, you know what I mean. I mean, people have had their criticism, um, and it's very interesting because you know, I used to write for Empire, and people criticized. I was on a

couple of episodes. I love Colo Rodriguez. I actually wrote um for season to the episode that Charlottagne was in, and then I did a voice of it for that one right exactly. It was like and coming to the stage exactly, I was like why, But um, the criticism of the show is so funny because the people who absolutely love the show and then the people who were just like it's trash, don't watch it. I think it's that, but you anticipate that because the show is a polarizing

type of show. It's polarizing. But sometimes I wonder if like we're just much more hard. We're harder on our shows than we are on other people's childs. Yes, you know what I mean. It's some people are like coming for us, like how could you and why would you like just support? Like what the fund is the problem? If you want more of us on the screen and on the television sets, then you gotta support. They still watch your friends. That's why you can't trust these friends. Yeah,

it's hard. It's harder for me to watch that show. Now there's no black people. It's not one. It's like twenty seasons later and Gabrielle, Gabrielle, I thought it was the Aisha what was her name, Aisha Tyler? Yeah, yeah, black people in the world, that's the only thing, like you know and will support that stuff like that. I try to watch everything, like we know you watch every every black you know, you watch everything. No, no, no,

don't get it. Don't get it to us that I will support, you know, other shows, but like I love Curb your Enthusiasm. That's my ship, He's my faith, that's my show. But for the most part, there's been a lot of love for the show. And you know, it's honor for me working with Spike Lee. I'm that Brooklyn kid. You know. When I found out Spike had offices on Decalp, I was stalk by it, like everything to work out to,

you know what I mean. Um, And so to be working with him on this show about Brooklyn, it's like a big honor for me. But I'm I'm, I'm. A lot of us are moved by the reactions that people have, especially people from Brooklyn, like finally, like a Brooklyn show with Brooklyn black people in it, you know what I mean. So we're all really really proud of the work. It just felt good. It felt good, you know, to have like shows like Insecure, and she always compared Insecure and

there's like, no, I don't think it's comparable. I would they do? They always I would more so say that it gives us more like it's like progressive right now for black women. I felt in television or films or whatever. I feel like now people are starting to see like you don't have to be this typical, you know what they would think the long hair, light skinned girl like you know, and it's not because I got natural here,

so I went out to that. Now I got natural here though, But you know, I just think that's dope how we can like shine, you know what I mean, for a change. And then the whole point of lift service, I feel like it's to show that women can talk about sex and it don't have to be like so taboo. They act like it's such a big deal. People, Oh, I can't believe this is trash, a bunch of wholes, Like no women have sex talk. I'm sure you have

sex with us nowadays. You can get nothing on your face on HBO, right right, And let's be clear, because then if I did not never understood why on Insecure she had a problem with him nothing on her face because y'all like it, yea like the problem. She should have taken it as a compliment beside it in her face. It takes me. It takes a while for my two Literally, it takes a while for my twist house to dry.

So if you get a little bit of coming my hair, like, that's where the problem is because I'm out of one dangly shirt. I didn't have a problem with a problem with There's something about Mary. She was a white girl and it was funny. Make a song cool? What did you twist out? Could you please make that coming out? We got two songs because the other song from earlier, we got three songs. When the dick get the lip?

Oh it also instead of wold, I can't wait until our mix tape comes out, you know, make sure y'all cop that first corn. Well, no, we really really really do appreciate you coming by, So thank you first time, and thank you for having a platform so that we could like freely talk about I see you drink that drink down? He said that Dick was too strong. You lie back, you know what. I just want to say one last thing since we brought up Insecure, the guys

that my job were so mad. Thatsa ray on that show cheated on her boyfriend and like, I'm like, y'all cheat every day all the time, Why are you so mad? Like I practise you this, the guys will be like, oh, she's not a rider, die, he just had an issue and she's not gonna stand by her man. She's weak for not trying to make things work. And then she cheats on him. And mind you, I look at it like she cheated on him, but he was really messing.

He was on the couch, he was supporting him, taking care of him, but he wasn't even sleeping right, and it was a little you know whatever, And it's cheating is wrong, man or woman. But I feel like if a woman cheats, people look at it so differently. With anything that goes on the relationships, it's always double standard

with men. Men can go get away with this that in the third but as soon as a woman does it, then it's got three babies a boy, three baby, didn't She's trying to populate the earth with all the hip hop, beautiful talented, but nobody talk all fine, and she she has some beautiful challenge. I don't feel like she got judged though in the beginning they commented on it on the Morning where someone like Christie Brinkley, it's the same thing.

A lot of people don't know that she got three kids, about three different Okay, Billy Joe, Billy Joel and two of the people I don't know. But all these all these baby mama, they wouldn't even call her a baby mama, you know what I mean, Like it's just a different set. Didn't Shutty Low have like twenty baby moms. But the dad but he did though he was trying to a reality show back, but like no woman remember when he tried to do the reality show and then they actually

hated it. Yeah, they boycotted in Imagine a woman like me and my twenty baby daddies, right, I would be all into that show. Who can we see? There's a show on TV now I haven't seen it, but it's called the Cromarty's. Oh yes, Tera Antonio Cromarty, right, who has with his wife, he has about six or seven shildre and he by the way, he got to a sect to me and still had twins after that. What see, I gotta go and you get what yes, terraka Antonio crimin I know, yeah, but he so with his wife,

he has like six or seven children. You've got some hell yeah, Like he's like a kid kids, super and he got a reality show out of it, and I don't think he's being changed, so you know, double standard, ladies. This was so much fun. We need to be the first woman to have like twenty baby daddies. Yeah, yeah, I like that first one after y'all, we need listen, we need you as the first interview after number twenty, I'll be here. Thanks so much for having Thank you