Episode 08 Ft Dante Nero

I was, actually I was. I was a male strip before like eleven years, a male strip that from that I ended up being. I got a little bit into the pimp game for about seven but for about seven years and then I had a lot of guys who were having problems with their relationships and I started applying pimp principles to square relationships. Okay, so let me ask you something about males stipping. Now. I have a great time because I've hosted some mail review shows and it's

always really fun. But I know sometimes they say, like there's certain things that you have to do because your dick has to look hard, and well, that's what you're talking about is beefing up. What a god does is he jerks off and then what they usually will take is a half inch of a spandage and they tied behind the testicles, cut the circulation to keep the blood. And it's like, I mean, it used to be. It used to be, uh like they used to use cock rings.

But being the fact that a span because a spandage worked good on your knee even when you're running, so it works even better, is that dangerous? So I mean it's painful. It could be painful for a while, but I mean, you you release it in it, you know, let it breathe. Can you get like Gang Green or something from that? Yes, you could, but I mean you know, I mean you by that time, you're gonna be in a lot of pain. You're being a lot of pain from doing that. Now, previously, a lot of my friends

had the mill stippers. A lot of them are gay. A lot of mill shippers gay. Now I think it is I think there was a time when it was a real separation between gay strippers and and straight strippers. I know when I did it, we separated the different stats. Stigma was always there. So when I was kind of in the game. I always kind of we always kept it separate because we were trying to kill that stigma. Now it's it's like it's kind of a free for all guys. I mean, you get guys who even considered

themselves straight. They do they do gay shows, straight shows. It's whatever, Like I'm straight, but for the sake of this show and this money, I'm gonna be gay. But yeah, but it's it's a funny thing because it's the slope. It's a slippery slope because now you've got guys touching you and stuff, and it makes it easier to you know, I know this guy who is he claims he's completely out of role. He's straight and he does gay porn. Yeah, I don't, you know, so he gets no, he's sucking

the ass people in the ass. He doesn't get fun because you're not gay. If you're the one that's getting your dick suck or you're the one sucking a girl, you're still gay. Still good, you're gay, it's still good. I think, you know, they're trying to find these little

classifications of to justify I actually I slept. I used to date a call girl for a while and date call girl, and she she she kind of fell in love with me, and she had decided that because she fell in love with me, that I we would only have anal sex because to her, anal sex was personal and vaginal sex was business and so but she all that was was a compartmentalization of what she thought was in her own head, like, this is personal, this is

not Did you enjoy having anal sex with her? Only? Um, I think you get to the point where anything you want, you want some We'll see too, you know what I mean. So it's a it's kind of a weird. Oh God, I wish I could have anal sex and just like, oh, this is sup personal right at sex? I get it because because you could get pregnant from that, I'm surprised that you I can't take it in there. I'm really I'm so disappointed myself. I love watching women take it

in the ass. I think it's the sexiest. Yeah, and it's so I'm like, I'm so not into anything. I'm in my butt either neither. I don't like now they have this new thing eat the booty like groceries. I think it's the stupidest thing ever. Don't don't try to lick my asshole if you're gonna go down there suck my clips, my booty. Well, I mean, clearly, it's funny thing that if you you talk to anal, do you know to get anal one of the things that you do is you you lick somebody's ass. I mean that

it's what preps fell. The best anal sex was not with lubricant. The best anal sex I've ever had because I've had anal sex that I've enjoyed. Okay, get that. My son's father, I had anal sex that I enjoyed. Me and my son's father haven't been together for almost three years, but the only anal sex that I've ever enjoyed was with natural lubricant. Spit Well, yeah, I mean, you gotta makes it weird inside of my body, like

in my eyes. It's like like there's a there's a few moves, there's a fused moves that and they make some loves that have kind of like a nestization. Well, there's this one loop just really good. It's called pure p ju r E. And they also make an anal loupe with that has like you text me that it actually has a like uh it's uh like a novocaine, like a form of novocan. There's a couple of different You got to use a condom. You should have to if we need a numb your asks you shouldn't know

because doesn't enough the man's dick. Well, ultimately the number happens initially and then it kinds of weird, kind of weird. But there's other there's like the same company she tasted in the assid She's like, girl, you gotta use this anal eat ship, but you gotta use a condom. And I'm like, I'm in a relationship. We don't use condoms. God, but don't take my advice. You should use condoms even if you're in a relationship. Use condoms all the time.

Keep your soft, protective share. It's fine. Does anybody we have like go get tested with your partner? Yeah? Absolutely, Line, you did not go go tests. I did your life, Stephanie. I could tell I'm not liar. You tested with your man, like before you date a guy and then before you take the kind of off You're like, come on, let's go get tested on. No, But every time I go, I haven't done it all the time. But yeah, I have done it no, but as well every time and my man fight, I get, I go and get an

STD test. That's different. That's because I'm like Nick, Nick, what you better make sure I don't got not because cut you out. It's always good. I'm you know, it's funny when you know people. The thing about anal sex is that I think it's a really personal thing and it's a it's a trust issue because the guy can hurt you. So there's a trust and a kind of an intimacy issue that needs to be necessary for you

to even get that. So if a guy like I've been with girls where I've you know, where I've went down on them and i've I've I've ate their ass and played when they played with the fingers and and then it starts to open up and where they're hot, where they're going, I won't give it to me and then I will go. But you I think as a man, I mean and this is kind of what my podcast is about. It. It's the base on the show. Well it's a it's about yeah, I guess uh, it's about

the credibility of men. I think that a lot of times you get you get a lot of brothers who are growing up with single parents, don't have don't have fathers, and they don't have fathers that are teaching them how

to be men. So the credibility of a man that the trust issue of where this woman feels as though she can let this guy, you know, take her to the point where she can have anal sex and it becomes and and even to understand maybe if she's not ready, you know, so if a guy you're not ready, to say this for all the guys out there, if I let you have anal sex and means because you have a small penis the only way I'm having anal sexy. If your penis is like pretty small, then maybe I'll

try it. But I'm not doing that with everything A total opposite the biggest. No, honestly, I'm a total opposite the biggest. I want the biggest every time I want that, Like when I get a guy with a big dick. I want to fund me in my ass so bad, but it never works. It's too much I'll take. Now, let's switch directions a little bit, because I was having a conversation with one of my friends and she was saying that her boyfriend wants them to have a joint account. Okay,

they're not married, they're not like that. But what do you think about being in a relationship, because finances are the number one reason that people get divorced to break up. What do you think about being in a relationship and having a joint account. I think you can have a joint account as long as he has his own separate account and she has her separate account as well, Like if they're living together and they have and they've decided to do that. I mean, I think it's a great

way to trust. You don't you don't have to put your whole life so, but I mean it's a good way. It's a good way to to kind of build that trust in the first place, is that, Okay, we have these funds and we're spending these funds, and we can see how somebody responds or how they don't respond to having these funds in there. So if you you know, if you got you got funds in there, you have this joint account, and then every time it's a new she got a new pair of shoes, and the bills

ain't paid, I mean, then it shows you. It kind of gives you an idea of where you're at. The front. I'm more thinking, like the guy is gonna take all your money out for me. I mean, I don't want to join account. Even if you can match me, I still don't want to join account. Keep your money where it's supposed to be in your bank account, and I'll

keep mine. What if he's worth sixty million. If he's worth sixty million, aunt, I don't think a motherfucker with sixty million in the bank is gonna want to have a joint account. I mean probably not. The only men who want a joint account with their girls or guys who are in the struggle, you know what I mean. Well, I mean you're not gonna have a joint account with me. I work so hard to make this money, you can't. I'm not sharing it with you. I'm sharing want child. Yeah,

that's different. Kind of the funny things, like the base for the show is about making dudes more credible so that you don't so he's not trying to spy? Are you going to have a joint account as hard as you work, are you gonna have a joint account with someone? Never have? No for what Angela, unless we're like, unless we're married, I don't I would have a journy. This is why I would have a joining account. Like if we go on vacation twice a year and oh yeah

we could, we could put ours in every month. That's so cute. I didn't even think of that. That's really cute right there. That's scared. What if you break up? What if you like get sick of the guy and then you're like, funk, we have this joint you just take the money out and you break My thing is if you're with a guy that you that you really don't that you really don't know to the point where you're worried about whether or I's gonna steal your money,

that's probably a guy you shouldn't be with. No. But what Angela said is that you know you have a joint account because you're planning something. You know that's cute. I think that's cute, Like old babe, let's let's plan this vacation to go on. I mean, I don't want to be with anybody that I have to plan for a vacation six months I had, but I do have to plan for stefan advanced because I don't have off from work like that, so I know, like have this

week off exactly. Girl said, you want to be able to book your flight like two days before, like, oh shit, I got three days off. I had I'm not gonna like now, Dante, you were saying that, Um, you were saying that it's okay if you have a separate account, and then you had this like I have my account, you have your account, and then we have a joint account, and that this way we can kind of build the

trust by how we handle that account. I mean, I mean, if you're thinking about somebody, like you really trying to rock with somebody, I mean, that kind of trust is not built in a moment. It's built with time, and so just as well as sex and everything else, you build that trust with time. You get your joint account, you get your anales, you just build it up and then it's I mean, but I think it's it's the trust element of it. I think, you know. My thing is is I find dudes are so weak, Like I

find dudes it's just so weak in turns. Yeah, and it's it's and I think it has a lot to do with the whole feminist movement and how and I don't mean in feminist movement in terms of equal pay and and maternity leaving stuff. But I'm saying that the

images of men are weak. It's it's always some dude on TV begging to get a blow job or asking for permission or so on and so futh and I think that what's happening is you have this this I'm a strong woman because guys are so weak, right, So, I mean it's like so many of my past relationships, it's like the dude, right. And that's why now I think I don't I don't care how strong a woman is. In my and my experience is that when you start to show those alpha male tendencies and you show that

you are the man, a woman becomes a woman. All she really wants to be. She she wants to let us do drive. But it's it's not about taking the control. It's about showing how credible you are so that a woman relinquishes the control. It's like this dude got me. It's hard for us. I mean, I think it's easy when a guy shows you that he's capable of that

or that he's worthy of that control. All right, how many dates do you go on and let the guy pay before you offer, or like try to split or what like, here's the thing with that, I'm kind of a dude. I kind of always pay. I mean, it's nice for somebody to to offer, but that's it's just what I do. But it's nice to know that. Yeah, No,

I don't think that there's a number of dates. I feel like you go, you go and you hang out with a guy, you let him pay for everything, and then you know you hit him up that you surprise him that one night, like maybe it's on me tonight, and it's when when do you do it? That's what I'm saying. I don't want to emasculate. I don't I don't think scalating him. And I think if you if you're offering a lot of times a guy won't let you do it anyway. They never like what if you wait?

What if you make way more money than he does. I think it's still a situation. If you want you want to play in the major leagues, you're gonna play in the major leagues. And if not, I mean, I think it's agree with with a lot of money you gotta pay. It's also reasonable to say, listen, I'm really dig you, But I don't really have it like that and you can do other things. And I think if she's really a down at stick, at least this dude, this is straight up dude. But if well, you probably

I think I think it's cute. You know, like you just be like, are you're surprised. I'm like, oh no, I'm gonna pay it tonight. I I've just got paid, and he's gonna be like, oh, girls, I'm gonna If I like, you go out with a guy and then you offered the pain and he actually lets you see, that's another problem. What if I do that ship and then I'm like, okay, different, you know, don't ask for something if I think that's something. If you don't want it,

there's a level of sincerity. If you got this guy and he's down, he's been down for you, and he's he's allowing you to relinq with you know, you're you're like, yo, this is a cool, dude, I'm relinquishing this control. And then you feel like, man, I just want to do something. Then you do it from since from the sincerity, I think that wanted to like pull out my wallet and but I'm like, yeah, but did you? But I think if you feel it, I'll do it. I'm not playing.

I mean, it's I think it's a weird kind of thing. I think I'm a woman a lot of times becomes a reflection of the man that she's sucking. So absolutely all the time. If if if a chicken is acting like a bit just because her dude is a pussy and so if she's calling him motherfucker, you ain't ship

and this is because she's allowing that. I mean, if I if I'm taking out somebody for the first day and you and you go silly asked, motherfucker, I go, wait a minute, listen, I don't really funk like that, Like, don't talk to me like that, because it's that can only escalate to something. This is a whole like that. Yeah, but men like that, but this is a whole well in general. I mean, I wouldn't care what it is.

I mean, I think you have to start to set these boundaries up front, because if she's calling you that now, then she'll be calling you something else later. But you know what I'm just saying. I mean, even if it's in like, oh, you're silly asked motherfucker, even if it's playful, I go listen. Honestly, I feel like, if you're in a relationship and your man allows you to talk down on him or vice versa, right, you guys aren't in

even right. My friend, one of my friends, talk so crazy to this guy that she dates, and he talks so crazy back to her, and then like, you know, you guys like you talk like that to him, and then you get man, many touch like that to you, but you talk like that to him. Super Honestly, I would never be okay with a man who lets me call him a bit chass nigga. I would never call him.

I would never be okay with that. Do you. I feel like I'm a woman at the end of the day, and no matter how strong and independent I am, I do really well for myself. But a man is a man, is a man is a man, and you have to submit to your man as a woman. I mean, I don't think that a man should disrespect you, but you can't be disrespecting a man like he's a little girl. But I think they're there are guys who are acting

like little girls who kind of know that's true. And I'm not saying that that's necessarily the way to handle it, but I'm saying what I'm saying no, if a man is as you're gonna get treated like. That's always the case. But I think one of the things is because in time, like with relationships and feminism and all relationship all this stuff, we look at it because we were still animals and

there are still these instinctual drives underneath everything. So when a woman finds like you can say I like a dude like this, and I like to do with that, and I want this car and I want him to look like this. But you you don't know what you want. Your pussy does. Your pussy tells you I like this dude. So it's a very kind of visceral thing that happens. So, but there's a there's an there's kind of this instinctual drive that that makes you feel that and and that

drive seeps through what I call the social contract. The social contract, fidelity, monogamy, marriage, all of those things that we created on a cognitive level. But if you don't take into consideration that this that these things exist, that all that thought that attraction is, it's it comes from an attraction of a guy who gives off that energy that makes you feel safe. I totally agree with you because when a guy gives me the energy that he's

a sucker, I treat him like a sun. It's an interesting thing, and so I think, and a lot of times guys don't really even understand what there's. There's subtle things that tell you that this dude is really not credible that makes you shake up and go, wow, this dude is really not credible, and you go and then you don't even know. And a lot of times dudes be like you know, you get guys like they are

this bitch, that this bitch, that this bitching. But the reality is that you're bringing that out, You're giving off this feminine energy, and she's rejecting it because you're not making her feel safe. Feeling safe is a super important thing. No I feel. I feel that. But for me, it's like like you said, we are animals and we have instincts like you. You You can't smell, you can't tell it, you don't know it, but from all are very important.

You smell it on people. And when a man lets you treat him like a bit, you're gonna treat him like a bit. It's it's there's a lot of things. I mean, it's body language, this language, and a woman. As a woman, you want to be independent, you want to do things on your own and always of course, but you want to submit to you a man, you want to be safe, you want to feel protected, you know what I mean. So if you are going on

disrespecting him, it's because you get that vibe. That's so what can a guy do to give you the vibe that he's a bit by acting like a bit? Like examples, I think crying in front of well, you know what, yeah, I think even that if you've got a really hard dude, does it happen to me? And then you instantly thought that this guy was a bit because he cried. Well, I just couldn't after that, Now was it? This was the crying in the content because he didn't know what

to do with his life. It was like really, but see that's a different thing. See the decisiveness of man, the decisiveness of men. Yeah, it was not that long. But it's like she loves her young boy. I think the decisiveness of man is is attractive. Like if you if somebody says, if you go you want to go out to eat, and you go, yeah, well you want to go? Well, it's like listen, get your clothes on, let's go. I like somebody to take and nothing me too.

I like to be submissed. Drive where a guy is taking. You know, you know what I feel like. I'm a really powerful woman. I you know, I've I've been independent for a very long time, like I have a whole story. Yes, of course I do like to get slapped and show a lot. But oh, we know, you know, as as strong as you know, as a as a woman myself. You know, at the end of the day, I'm a girl, I am a woman. I'm I'm a little baby. I'm

a little woman baby. Yes, I am baby. And I want to get treated as No, I want to get treated as such. And I want I want my man to be able to protect me. I want him to be more powerful than me. If I disrespect my man, I need there to be consequences. I need to not want to disrespect my man. Somebody said I was gonna make you a man. She's saying she's speaking the truth. It's really it's it really is that kind of visceral thing. Right,

I'm right. No, you're absolutely right. Ye're absolutely right. But woman, but even I think you know a lot of young dudes, Well, they don't even pick up the keys and the cues when they're having sex. Like so for Mrance, you know, I even teach teach this, like say, girl, the girl is mission every style right, if she's missing everything I like mentioned everybody way, I like that, and her her hips relaxed, Like if the the joints in her hips relax and her legs fall back, she wants you deeper.

That is the signal to know she's deeper. If she's pressing those those hamstrings against the funt of your legs, you're too deep. Now, you can't be like I'm a tear this pussy up and she's she's wincing and she's pushing you away because you're too deep. That's not what having sex. You're supposed to check these cues if you go down on. One of the things that I tell dudes all the time is watch a woman's diaphragm, Watch how her diaphragm, her watch her breathing, the depth of

her breathing. And so when you're doing the right thing, you'll her breathing will get deeper, She'll breathe deeper. And those little clues and studies are not even aware of that. They don't even get the fact that you should be picking up these clues and somebody's going down on me and it's going great, and then they switch it up. Oh my god, no, no, but that's because but you gotta tell him doing it and the rhythm is STAPs whom as let me, let me ask you something, but

it's not about to come anymore. Like, like you said, you'd like to get choked. But the worst thing in the world is to have a dude that you got to tell him to choke you, or tell a dude that you gotta want So if he's not if he's not listening to these cues and he's not watching and paying attention, because he's really just like how can you because you can put his hands on your neck telling him. No,

you don't even have to do that. I mean, look, if he's what if he really doesn't want to, you know, like, no, I'm telling have guys that I'll be like, babe, pull my hair, choke me, and I'm like, no, you should tell him, man, exactly what you went great if you're comfortable with what is better than being with a guy who anticipates what your needs are before you've even conceptualized what those needs are. Your psychic It's like he's stepping step.

He's a stepping So if even if I'm may love to somebody and I will I might run, I might run my hands to your hair, and then I will cover your throat. I'll cover your throat and see where your head is out. And I might get terrified right now, but maybe it maybe it could be a gentle cover. But I'm gonna cover your throat and see where you're

at with that. Now if if, if you if I cover your throat and you throw your head back, and then I might go a little if it gets a little wetter, You're like, okay, So I mean I think you have to. So the sex should be even the first few times, the sex should be this kind of as a guy, you should be exploring these things that you know if she's into this, if you go to the bat, I mean, you know, guys will pull her hair, but you don't pull her hair from the bottom of

the hair. You know, you go up the bat. It's is something that man needs to learn. You don't pull the hair from the end of it. You go fucking crazy, Like what the fun you put the hand on the scalp and and a nice little tuge wrap the roots and then and then you see where is it? And then if you I think if you, when you see, then you push further and you gotta see where you

gotta go from there where she's at now. I mean you you can escalate and then there comes a time where you you'll feel that if it's too much, a woman will kind of genuineflect about wow, that's and then you know the back down because I'd be like, oh no, no, no. Listen to my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend like he listened to me that my current boyfriend, like he knows exactly how to touch me. He knows exactly how to

be rough or be gentle. And I've asked him about it, like Babe, have you ever done that to other girls? And he's like yeah, we oh cooking. But you know what the same thing for guys know what to do because I have friends tell me that you got to try things with guys instead of asking them about certain things like stick a finger in his asshole, want him no guys going to ask you for what men want to finger and they asked they do a little nudge.

They want you to put it like you're sucking their dick and you got your hand there and they're like the next thing. Some guys like once like you no, like this one ax that I had, like like when I touched his balls a lot. So then my next boyfriend I went to touch his ball, he fucking freaked out like oh, and I was like fragile, like he acted like I just almost like you was crazy. Women. You know, some women to touch balls? How do some grabbed?

I like them hold. Some guys don't want to, and that's fine, but I mean it's still a situation where you have to try. You gotta, you have to try these things, and it's kind of this exploration. I think. What another thing is it is getting lost is the intimacy of it, the intent A lot of times that you know, it's guys going through the motions. This is what I did with my last chick, this is what I'm doing with you, instead of understanding, okay, here's this

is this is what I know how to do. Let me try this, let me try that, let me and then taking a sort of a mental uh note, Okay, she likes this, she doesn't like this, She likes it rough. She likes this, so you take and then every time you make love to her, you if you're picking up more and more information about her, so the sex gets better. So you're constantly and you have to have That's why every sex, not even only sex relationships, it's all about communication.

You have to get to know each other. That's why people who are who are just meeting each other and then throwing their legs up or sticking their dick out. It never works. You can't have a really good experience because you guys are not communicating and it's hard, and like for one night stands or that kind of thing, It's like, how can you even have good sex when you don't even know you don't know each other. I mean,

I don't think it ever happens. I mean, there's no way that if I suck you today and I suck you ten times from now, ten times, when it's gonna be ways open and it was the first time because there's a level of comfort, there's a level of intomy's intimacy, and I think the intent is something that I would I've been experimenting with myself as the intent. So I think sometimes a guy will kiss you because he wants

to grab your tists. He will grab your tist because he wants to suck you, when if he just thought the kiss is the most important thing, like being present in that kiss with your lips are pressed up and there's a moisture, lips slight instead of the next being in that moment and if that kiss is the only thing that he gets this kind of sexual satisfaction from the from the intent of making this kiss, as if this is the best kiss I'm ever gonna give, this

is the last kiss, So being in that moment. Are there times and people just aren't good at things though, no matter what, Like you could like somebody a lot, have been with him a long time, but for some reason, they just don't just not get get at it. No. And for me, you know, like somebody might be so good at somebody as something to someone and then to

the next person. There's but I think you can practice, and I think you can communicate, and I think if you start to you under I think what you have to get good at is reading the cues. And for me, relationships are all about chemistry, you know what I mean? If if you like like you were, you were just talking about it. A kiss is so important, like if you it's it's for me, it's the most important things. Some pole than kissing is more intimate than sex, much

more intimate than I don't know that. Yeah, yeah that's true. But for me, like if you don't match, if your mouth don't match, it's a waste of time. Well, you know, because you gotta be able to breathe someone in. You gotta be able to take in their breath, and you know, to kiss something and feel it. You know what I

think you have. You know, it's like when you there used to be a game used to play when you're a kid, and you like, yeah, yeah, But I think what's funny is I think like I said that the first thing I said was a man, a woman is a reflection of the guy she's with, and so when he's intimate and when he's at present in the moment and he's present with every act, she will be present

in every act. Right, So I think you know, I mean, guys will kill me for this, but I said, any time a relationship doesn't work, it's it's the guy's fault because a woman attaches herself of course, because he's the here's here's the thing, if if, if I you know, I have this thing called the coffee cup theory. Like you know, you go to a diner, you get a coffee cup, and then the little the little dude runs around. If your coffee cup is empty, right, the dude fills

up your coffee cup. So me, as your man, I'm supposed to make sure your coffee cup is full. So when the next dude comes around, he goes, oh, oh, now you're good. Your cup is already full. So I can use a little cream. Now, well I didn't. But if it's if it's full, if it's full, you gotta pull some of the coffee. You have to put the cream. And you know what you feel what I'm saying, it's it's this is this is what guys are not doing.

They're not understanding that they have to read these cues and fulfill these needs and and the same contents set boundaries. Be strong enough so that you're credible enough, dude, that a woman could relinquish the control and give you that control and still but still be able to cultivate her in her own kind of artistic endeavors, and and so that she can grow as a woman. But she's still because she has that foundation and everything is good at

home and this dude's got her back. And when it's all crazy and she feels crazy, like oh, I don't know what to do, this is crazy, he's gonna be able to you know, lay down, let me rub your ass. That good at home. That's when women cheat, right, Absolutely, women what happened. But I think that I think what happens is a lot of times. Um, it's a lot of times women are selling guys what they want to

sell them instead of what they want. You know what I'm saying, like the I'm sucking you when I'm this and I'm not and I'm I'm that's not necessarily what he wants. So I think you have to tap into what he wants to keep it. But I mean, I I I personally believe that when the guy is on point, I've never seen a woman, no matter how crazy she is.

But what do you mean what I'm saying is this dude like I you know, there's been even times when I've had multiple partners, right, well, I've had you know, but I know your bra siyes, I know your panty size, I know your shoes size, I know I know what

food you like. I know that you know. I mean, you have to be this dude who's an extraordinary dude that where you're you're tuned into into the moment of who this woman is and what her needs are, not necessarily what her wants are, but what her needs is, what her needs, what her weaknesses are, what or not? And you gotta be listening because women talk, y'all talk everything talk, so fud problem is that dudes are not listening. They're not listening to what you're saying, and not necessary

specifically what you're saying. But but you have to look at what the undertone of what a woman is talking. Does every man cheat? I think a lot of guys do, but I don't think you have to. I don't get every man. If you if you're aware of that? No, no, no, no, no nine eight percent eight Do you know why I say? I feel like no, you know what, I don't know the percent. I don't know that she made it up, but I made it up. I just breathed out it. But listen to me. Let no wait. I think that

a man will cheat according to his opportunities. If if you, if you, if you take it care of your man. You're keeping him at home everything truck him in sad. Now, if your man is in the strip club all the tom, hey, girlfriend, he might be cheating. Great, well you don't like you're right there. You'll see guys do different things in terms of this opportunities opportunities excuse me if if you know, but I mean, yeah, like that's the problem with dating

men and entertainment. Men and entertainment. It's entertainment. You know what those doctors they say, doctors are high on the list. Okay, let's say in the airport. Then at the airport, men in the airport cheat percent of the time. Men we're going to cheat. Okay, Well, man who works in the cheat with a girl who needs the milk. Lu's right here. I mean I think it's both ways. I think one of the things about women is is they're attraction to

men is such an emotional thing. Like the minute she don't minute a woman When a minute you've shown yourself to be this bitch and she decided that you're a bit. It's it's a wrap. There's no loyalty, does nothing that Look, I don't feel you like that's like what you said. I saw this dude cry and then I don't know,

it depends on what he cries about. This was just like an unnecessary like cry, like you're just tearious and it's like one slow might be like I love one like I love, not like a couple of tears and like whining and like crying. I'm like watching the news and something. Listen to me. I'm a woman. I cry. I cry for the commercial with the cats and the dogs over there. It's like, what if he does if my man cries over the cats and the dogs are breaking up with, you gotta get out of my house.

I don't want to, you know more. I hate my cats. I can't. When she said that, when she said the dude that cried, it's not that he cried. He cried about his life. So he has no direction and you don't feel safe with him because he doesn't have any direction. And that's what makes that's what it matters. It's too bossy to be with a crying ass man. Do you think if a guy isn't like coming up with plans, like he's just like, we'll do whatever you want, is that like not cool? Yeah? I think it's not. I

don't think that's cool. I think I d back, you know, yeah, I mean I think a guy would direction, but he's awesome. I mean, but he just wants to do whatever I want to do, you know. I think that's the dates I've ever been on with guys and guys that I dated at people that come up with like, let's try this, rest, let's do that. That's the best. I hate when I have to come up with everything I ever figure out what I want to eat. But you you get tired if you've got a guy that's not that has no

direction and he's not decisive. Eventually that you're you're like, well, what the you know what? And then you start to feel unsafe. It's it's almost it's almost a visceral kind of feeling. It's like an instinctual feeling like why is he not he don't have nothing, he don't want to do nothing, like what my main thing is that you find him less attractive and now it starts to fall apart. Right, I agree with that direction and making that It's a

funny thing. Like I remember, like I was watching Oprah one time, right, and Oprah was why she was buying a uh like a Labordor retriever right, and Stepman was with her right, and so now this is Oprah, fifty billion dollar Oprah. So she's looking at them. She's like, oh my god, the puppy is so cute. I'm want to buy them all right, And Stepman goes, no, you can have one, and I'm like, oh, right, you you pick one and I'll pick one. But that's it. And I was like, this is why she's this dude, you

can have them all. Oprah could buy all the labornor retrievers, put him on an island and call it. And but the fact that even in the context of this woman who is is mega rich, has a guy who she counts on and who she she feels that she can go to and confide in and that he's got her back, is why she's with you. Nothing. He won't actually he

won't marry her. And if you think about if you really think that, you show me, you show me a black woman, you show me an older black woman who was telling the world that she doesn't really believe in marriage. That's bullshit, like this is an overweight Why stem not married because you don't want to? Why I don't know about my god? How do we know he doesn't want to marry you don't tell me, you tell me over

me too, don't want that. You tell me a black man that don't want to marry the richest woman, a black man I don't want you don't want to marry forever though exactly. But what I'm saying is that's how pimp he is. He's actually got this black woman saying I don't really believe in marriage. That's that's when we get into I don't about she say, that's a whole absolutely, you see, I think you want to believe that. I'm not Listen, here's here's you can here's what you cause.

All you have to do is look at the pictures. You look about the picture. When you look at the pictures and you see Oprah open, Stepman looks like the man, and Oprah looks like the girl. You watch watch Brad Pitt got bags, he's too feet behind, he's carrying, she's got a bunch of kids, she's he's dragging. I mean, Angelina is definitely the Boss's angeline. You can see this. You can see that. Yeah, she's open until you put

a dick in her. Then she's so she is to you put a second her I think you and I act to get along really well. Jesus. I mean, but the credibility of it. I think the credibility of men is an important thing, and I think we're losing now. Honestly, I agree with you as a woman. As a woman, let me tell you something. I do really well for myself. I'm very grateful and blessed that I have had opportunities to be able to take care of myself and live well. But I still feel like my man should be over

and above me. I should be able to listen to my man. And who cares about financially money is green paper? Who cares? Nobody cares about money at least I don't. I'm sorry at all. No. I mean I want to make money, of course everybody. But I do well for myself, and I like, no, no, pretty broke, he's got. If my man is good to me and he's that's the whole thing I'm talking about. If my man is good to me and he's broke or he's rich, it doesn't matter. I am. I should be as a woman, as a

girl submissive to my man. But here's you can have a rich dude and he's a bit, don't that's a bit. Now. If you got a guy who we don't have it popping right now, but you believe in him, and this kid is working and he's moving and shaking it trying to make it happen, because it's that's the safety you feel as a woman. Dude, you want to look as a woman. Listen, I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt you as a woman, but as a woman, I want

my man to be able to protect me. I want my man to be able to talk over me, to put me in my mother fucking place. But if you're in her place, that you can finish saying what you were saying. What she's saying is what she's saying is the truth. It's it's like, you know, it's that thing when you you look, get dressed. It's get dressed, getting the car, we're gonna go somewhere. Where are we going,

and just getting just life. Absolutely So it's not even about pimping, because pimping is something you go out and the street and you bust it and then you bring the money home. It's the same. But that's not what I'm doing. I don't get your man money because no matter how rich or how broke. My man is, I don't need to support him because he's a man and he could take care of himself. And if he's not

supporting himself, then he doesn't have the credibility anywhere. So you you want a guy to drive, but you want to make sure that he's capable of driving, you know, you see, and this is any time I've ever taken a check out and we go someplace, go drive, She'll get up in the chair folder, you know, like folder legs in the chair. It's kind of like it's almost this little girl thing that comes where they just sit

on there like where we going, where we go? And but you gotta, as a dude, you gotta be able to bring that little girl out of her, like you gotta feelsoofy. All right, I'm just gonna chill. My man is he's driving, and that the credibility of it's important. And how does a guy. I gotta talk to Leah, right, what's going on in your head? What do you think? Because is like no, I mean, it's just it's different.

I guess it's like I've just dated such different kinds of guys, like maybe because my energy is masculine or something, Right, so like too, I always kind of like have taken the Marines and like say, what's going down? Is that? I feel like we watched the child want I don't know. I think like that sounds cool, but like it also sounds bossy, like we're going how do I have? Like are we gonna be okay? Are we are dying? Like okay, we're gonna go get ready? That would be that'd be cool.

Like there was one instance, like there was this guy and he and me and him had kind of had similar personalities and it's just like whoa Like it was like I need like a yang to my wait wait wait wait, I think what I think? It's sometimes a good guys who are aggressive, and usually a lot of guys who are aggressive are become abusive, and that's the problem. That's what the fear is of having an aggressive dude, because because he's aggressive, he's abusive, and if he's soft,

then he's a bit. The real thing is walking the tight rope between a guy who is aggressive but he's still considerate context of what and somebody has to be able to check me when I step out of line because you have to do as a woman, you make your own money. You do own the house, she owns her own car, owns the house, she's not backed up

on her bills, and Julie is very successful. But I'm sure that you want a man to be like, hey, chill, don't don't flip out on me because I'm a man, Like, don't get too crazy because I also can't let you let me talk crazy to you, because after that it's over, it's over. I know Angela. Angela was on radio. This is what she does. She could cut somebody up all probably you know what I'm saying. I mean, you know,

there's a lot to it. I mean, I think if you're if you're if you're intelligent, you want a man who's intelligent. Yet radio you're articulate, so you want a man who's articulate. But you also want to feel safe. You want a guy who can teach you things and show you things that you didn't maybe even give you a perspective on something that you didn't have before. And if you you're going to this well and he's got nothing to give you, then and you're better than him.

A woman never dates a guy who she's better than that. Better is not better, it is not. But but that's what that's exactly. But that's why they don't last always because the ones you said, your relationship relationships last. The thing with Leah is that Lena, it is so bossed up. Leah is like she she's the man. She is that a day, Leah, you do, you do date down Leah sometimes know, And that's the thing with Leah is that, you know, she she's like looking at these like it's like, yeah,

all right, you can't beat me. That's sometimes that's that's in the context of her and there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. She likes the big dicks. That's with the you know, she's her big money bank. And you know, you know, Leah is just like, you know, like I might date, I'm young, i might date, I'm old. At the end of the day, nobody's talking with me. No, you gotta do that. Felt I feel a great dick pick and I'm just never I mean, well, I mean

that's the starting point. Good, But you talk with me. Is that that's a problem Lia is that the guys that she is meeting, they can't really funk with her. That's what it is. Well, you know, she treats them like the bitch as niggas. But when she does meet, when she does meet somebody, when she ultimately does meet somebody who can't funk with her, that's when she'll fall

in love. I'm naughty, She's look really ready because it's maybe you aren't really even really aren't trying to find the right person by dating all these people that you know are the right people. Know, But that's why she she I could tell just from her whole demeanor that she's not playing no games. She's like, whatever, I might get this sex, but you can leave. You know, it's weird because you know, like if you ask anybody, do you if I as, if I say are you perfect?

You go, of course not right. But although we understand on a cognitive level that nobody's perfect, a lot of times we hold ourselves to the standards of perfection. But but we hold ourselves to those standards of perfection even though we cognitively know that perfection doesn't exist. And if we we admit that we're not we're not perfect. What does that mean? It means that we make mistakes. And if we make mistakes, then we need forgiveness. And if

we need forgiveness, then you have to give forgiveness. So I mean there's always has to be a leeway in terms of what you that these are human beings and that you're trying to fit together and you you you make mistakes, and so that doesn't mean dating out of what your needs are. You still have to put your

needs first. But I'm a firm believer that it is the man's job to figure out and anticipate what those needs are and to filth fulfill them even before you conceptualize what they are in your own head, by listening to you. Because in a like, a woman will be in an emotional situation where she's this is crazy and this is going crazy and and he should be able to see through that and and and say, well, this is this is what's going on, and this is what

you need. You know. What's great with guys do if you get into an argument or a fight with them and instead of them keeping it going, they ended. I think that's a great Like, okay, whatever. When somebody stubborn with me, me too, I hate that. I like for you know, like want to I want you to give me your argument. I want to listen, I want to hear how you feel. I want to I want to get up in your mind. But he's very don't judge me. Love it's very funny. But this I know Dator has

to go because he does stand up comedy. He has to go to stand up. Oh my god, that's so cool. Yeah, oh my god, I love you. Guys can come out and invite you. Guys can come to the show whenever you want to come show. Yeah, I enjoyed this conversation with you. I'm glad you did. Yeah, ma'ma have. The Beige Philip podcast is on Beige Philip dot com. You can follow me on Dante twitter at at Dante Narrow d A N T E N E r oh. And I also do one on one consultations. I do phone consultations.

That saved me Dante at gmail dot com. If you gave me for what what you do? You do consultations for a manage? Yeah, definitely help if you have. I don't need help. Very It's really interesting too. I find that very interesting. I've been doing it for quite a time. I used I was doing it for for years. I've been doing the podcast for three years, and I was the emails that I would get into questions that I was getting it just got a little crazy that we

just started a business. But let me ask you one question because a lot of people send me in questions and I got to ask you one of them from I ask ye because people always want to know the one let me get it. Oh no, but I've really enjoyed our conversation. I want to I'm gonna subscribe to your podcast. I'm gonna listen to it because I like to listen to things on a male perspective. Okay, here's when. Okay,

I'm twenty three. I haven't had too many experiences dating, although I've had a couple of friends and benefits and realize it's not my thing. Could you give me some tips about that? First few weeks are months of getting to know someone during the dating process. How often should we talk? What are the boundaries? And how do you keep them interested in? How do you find out their true intentions? Is is what I say to a lot?

Is this a guy a female? Okay? I think what you have to do first and foremost as be the best version of yourself. I think a lot of times when you have younger women and they're still trying to find themselves and trying to they don't really have the direction of when you're the best version of yourself, then you can be confident about how you put yourself and what your needs are. So I think that is first

and form and foremost when it comes to dating. I think, um, I think you have to be a woman can be as honest as she wants and and I think she has to be as strong as she wants. You can't ask a woman to be less strong or less of what she is. It's a guy's job to manage that and to find out where he fits into that. But you know what that said, what I think the biggest problem when you're first dating someone in the beginning is

that you're never your real self. Well, I think that's the important I think that my best my for me. I don't know if anybody wants advice for me, but for me, my best advice is it's just you. You know. But if you think yourself, if you're eventually you is gonna come at you're the best version of yourself if you feel it's the reason why people lie about who they are is because they're not really comfortable with who

they are in the first place. And so if they feel that they need to perpetrate as somebody else because they're not really comfortable. So when you are the best version of yourself, then you can be you because you're comfortable with it. So one of the that says, whatever's broke, fix it. Whatever you're uncomfortable about, fix that first, you know. I mean, I'm not saying you can't date, but even if you're in the process of fixing it, if it's your weight, if it's your education, if it's your job,

fix it. Because that's uncomfortable. That will seep into your into your brain while you're with somebody else and not uncomfidable. That lack of confidence will cause you to lie and misrepresent who you are. And I also cause you to put up with ship that you wouldn't normally put fix Fix it Baby, Thank you so podcast and you can also follow him Dante Narrow Back