¶ Welcome to the show
Welcome to . And here's Modi . And we're back with and here's Modi , with Periel and Leo at the studio . Hello , hello , we are currently on the Pause for Laughter tour , traveling all over the world with the show .
This hour and 15 minutes is amazing , and recently I was going to go do a show and someone said they wanted material from the old hour , which I'm just not doing now , and then I realized I don't even know the material from the old hour .
So I went on the treadmill and watched Know your Audience , my last special , which I literally forgot all the jokes from because I haven't been doing any of them and I forgot how good it was . I forgot those of you who it's been a while or need to see something funny . Go to Know your audience .
It's available now for free on youtube and on amazon , but but , uh , watch it , share it . It's just a great , it's a great time . And uh , I , I can't believe I forgot . I forgot the jokes , like I forgot the setups and uh and the jokes themselves because I've been so busy with this new hour .
I love the idea of somebody casually walking by you at the gym and seeing you watching your own special .
I bet every comic watches their some set or some of themselves when they're on .
Were you cracking up .
There were moments I was cracking up , I just forgot how and I knew the joke was going to come , but it was just like it was just so , so crazy to cause . I was doing that hour for two , for two , two , two , two years .
Yeah .
And then now this one is just like a completely sucked me into it . I don't't think about any of those jokes , Um , but people ask for that stuff and I'm just you know , but it's a whole , it's a whole new hour . We just people would just come to a show . We watched that . This is a whole new hour .
It's a whole new hour and 15 minutes and it's amazing and it's great , and that's it . That was my original , my , my , my offshoot thought for the podcast . And on this tour , how often are you guys on planes , would you say .
We're often on planes . In 2024 , we took 63 flights , wow .
Yeah .
And none of them turned upside down .
Baruch Hashem , baruch Hashem , could you imagine being on that plane ?
I've been practicing ever since . I been like with the seat belt . How ?
do you release ? How do you do that ? Why would you want to release ? Well , once you have to release , to get off the plane , okay .
So , first of all , I fly , you know , often not nearly as often as you guys fly , but I'm I get a little bit nervous .
I take valium , not like I don't love to fly , and I take valium because I love valium , not because I don't like flying he tastes the biscotti cookies .
That's what he takes from . There's a cookie that yeah , what's it ? Called biscott .
Those little biscotti . I know those little um . Yeah , what's your airline ?
delta yeah , me too . So I um , do you get nervous when there's turbulence ?
no , actually no no , not at all I was , I swear to god .
I flew back from mexico late last night and I there was turbulence and I just kept thinking about the two of you to calm myself down no one , no , no plane has like ever crashed because of turbulence , if that makes sense okay , but none of this is like logic or reasonable right right , you're just shaking .
You're just your wings are shaking those wingspans on the plane have 20 feet , they can . They can go up and up and down yeah and it only goes the most like it's three feet , three feet , so it's not a big deal .
My seatbelt I am listening to that seatbelt sign these days . I am not going to be caught with my forehead in someone's storage bin .
Oh my God . Based on the news , Can you ?
imagine being on that flight .
¶ Insights on upcoming performances
I can't .
Could you imagine being offered like 5,000 miles sky miles ? I on that flight . I can't . Could you imagine being offered like 5,000 miles sky miles ? I think that's what they offered everyone .
I think they gave them . That's it .
I think they gave them 5,000 sky miles , I'm pretty sure someone gave me that recently because the screen on my seat wasn't working .
Right , they have . The flight attendants have this little little phone that's like off the flight phone . And they can just come over and go . I'm so sorry we didn't have it , but I can just add you know , just give you 5,000 points or whatever amount of points it is , and it's like it just makes it easier and you feel like you got something .
Totally .
And it prevents you from having to send an email .
But the chutzpah of getting that .
I read that they were giving them like $30,000 . Oh , but maybe what you read is right .
I don't believe anything on the internet . I might have just made that up .
It doesn't matter Whatever , it doesn't matter , it's our podcast . It doesn't matter yeah . And when we say things that are wrong , it's okay . It doesn't matter it should be , it doesn't matter . Do you think we did ?
it wrong .
Oh , and I sang some song the other day on the thing I said one of the words wrong and everybody had what to say . Everybody became a scholar .
Welcome to , and it Doesn't Matter with Modi , leo and Ariel , because guess what ?
It doesn't matter .
Whose line is it ? Anyway , points are made up .
You know what I bought at the airport . I haven't decided who I'm giving it to yet . I bought a Donald Trump chocolate bar .
Ew , I saw those . We saw those at a gas station . They're so funny . It's funny , but it's great that his fans love him . It's insane .
I'm like I'm going to give this to somebody . Somebody is going to be happy to get this . It's so ridiculous . Like who said we're making Trump chocolate bar ? I mean , did you ever see a chocolate bar with any other president on it ?
No , but I'm up for it If he can sell merch sell it .
They could have done Obama , but it would have been milk chocolate . You know what I mean . Oh folks , let's would have been milk chocolate .
You know what I mean . Oh folks , let's not get racy here .
Is it really that racy ? It's not that racy . Guess what , it doesn't matter .
The world is on fire .
Planes are falling out of the ground .
That's what people are getting worked up about .
Someone was telling me you know , everything's going on now with this administration is going to be like a TV show . I go it is , it's on , it's already on , it's already on . You have to choose if you're watching this , this , these episodes of this season of complete mayhem in the White House , but it's wild .
And it's just so . I'm not keeping up with any of it , I'm not keeping up with it If I have to see Elon Musk's dumb face one more time on my screen .
I'm more sick of him than Trump .
honestly , For sure he's so annoying . Hey , he's not even American . Why is he allowed all the security clearance ?
I think , Not a fan .
You know , Jackie Mason had an amazing line . He said they should fire all the senators . This is the biggest country making the most money . We haven't shown a profit in years , you know , because they should put them on commissions . That was like his lunch .
That's called kickbacks and bribery .
It's , it's it's , he's cleaning up . We have friends and you have friends too who go go to work and do nothing . They go , they sit at a job , it's mostly us . No , you and I don't , but we don't pretend no , when Leo goes into work mode , it's it's . All Emails are answered , things are taken care of and done . He's not sitting at a desk or a cubicle .
God forbid pretending to be busy .
I tried that .
It didn't go well , that's not a normal thing . So there are people who do nothing all day . They're giving some assignment that takes them 15 minutes , but they give them three weeks to do it .
Do you remember that time ?
Do you remember when I did ?
that job while I was still also managing you , but I was like I think I need a real job too , just to , like , keep me sane . I remember that and I lasted what like three months no , not even .
I don't remember so clearly it wasn't that long ago .
I remember the moment I realized because it was like a corporate environment .
Everyone has these like made up job titles you got like a cute prada folder , I remember yeah , and I , I , the moment I realized I felt like I was on the truman show , like the moment I realized that no one was doing anything and everyone was just like sending , everyone was just sending tasks to each other back around in a big circle of nothing , that I was
just like , oh , so he wants to clean that up .
He , he knows that there are people doing not , I don't know . I'm I'm watching from the headlines and from all that . I'm just saying he wants he's obviously he's flamp , not flamboyant , but he's um , he's over the top and whatever and he's talking about . He talked about his security detail .
That day was pretty funny , but but he , he knows that there are people doing nothing at jobs that they're being paid for .
That might be true , but he's so culty . That's the part that he's .
You guys , are we talking about Musk or Trump ?
I'm talking about Elon Musk .
I'm telling you right now Are we talking about Musk or Trump ? I'm talking about Elon Musk . I'm telling you right now and the time I talked about it the power is so much stronger than money . They are so high on power right now ?
Yeah , totally , elon's just high on ketamine . Have you seen that interview ?
No , I saw the interview .
He's needing to do ketamine and at the inauguration he was like high .
So I saw the same interview and he said that he's done it a few times . He does it once in a while . He doesn't say he does it often . He said it's been a long time since he's done it . Yeah , I don't believe any of that .
Yeah , I believe , because I'm the same way , because I'm the same way . He's high on ketamine , he's not , he's autistic , he also has like a Toddward dangling off of his head .
Yeah , so it . But because that's going to bring press , it's going to be you guys . They are so high on power .
But if we can get stuff done , people don't like it when we talk about this , so yeah , we should , but whatever .
I hope they just , they don't , no , they don't and they're going to say , is just for Trump , is just to keep getting the hostages out .
Yeah . That's all I have to say and let me tell you something I never do political humor and because of Musk and Donald Trump , I've been getting some very parved jokes . Now , I'm not trying to hit any side , but very good jokes . I don't want to ruin it because they're in the special and that they're in the act now , but it's like it's really good stuff .
I've seen you do it at the cellar . It's hilarious .
Yeah , but there's more to that and it's just so . That was it . I forgot why we got on this topic .
We'll get off the topic just as quickly as we got on . I just got back from club med , oh that's right , you told me I just went to club med for the first time in my life for a week and I have a lot of uh constructive feedback for the organization . But we can save that for another time .
You said you went in mexico we went yeah but there are club meds all over the world , correct ?
Oh yeah , they're still around .
Oh yeah .
Hands up .
Is it supposed to be nice or is it like a family thing ?
So some of the I don't know what it's supposed to be it looked , I don't know .
I saw from your stories little glimpses . Here and there it looked like you were in a nice place . It was nice , it's not like a luxury thing , like a , like a , come on . So there are .
No , no , so there are certain club meds that are gorgeous , luxury , pristine , incredible , like . And then there are other Club Meds that are , I think , less so and it's a family thing , right , like you go with kids .
There's activities for them and stuff , yes , and it's amazing , it really it's great .
I have whatever . We don't need to get into it now . We can . Okay , maybe we will .
Do your doors have locks on them ?
Yeah , your doors have locks . Do your doors have locks ?
It's a little bit yeah , yeah , yeah , the one I went to didn't have what .
Listen the kids , you drive on to a resort and basically it's like the Disneyfication of culture , because you're not Everything's geared for the children . Yeah , so you have like all different archery , trampoline , mini golf . There's like a whole water park and the kids are taking these little golf carts by themselves .
So it's and the parents are pounding pina coladas . Yeah .
I you know I don't really drink that much , so I wasn't pounding pina coladas . I also got know I don't really drink that much , so I wasn't pounding pina coladas . I also got like some sort of like . I don't know I have like rabies or something .
I got some really rabies from what I don't a raccoon ?
I don't know , I have a raccoon touch you no , but I do have like a really serious disorder on my leg that I sent to my doctor . Oh my God .
Were you in the water ? Did you get like a stingray or something ?
That's a jellyfish .
No .
You know you're supposed to pee on it .
No , I did not . I did . We did go to a- .
Would Guy pee on it for you if you asked him ?
Yeah Guy would pee on it . Anyway , even if I didn't yeah him , yeah guy would pee on it anyway , even if I've been . Yeah , um , we did go swim with dolphins , which is captive dolphins , no , in the wild , yeah , of course captive problematic .
Someone didn't watch blackfish it's definitely problematic those dolphins weren't having a good time .
I didn't watch Blackfish and it is . I have no doubt that it's problematic . I also have no doubt that those dolphins are being very well taken care of , whether or not they should or shouldn't be in that thing , and I got like some cancerous disease .
I don't think you're supposed to be swimming with dolphins . Chas v'sholom , first of all Chas v'sholom .
Fine , thank you . No , no , no , I'm going to show you a picture of this .
Maybe you should .
But we were talking . One of my first comedy tapes was at Club Med we were at . My friend Dadani said let's do a gay weekend . This is over 30 years ago . I just began doing comedy and I really didn't have a good tape . And there was the night where the people go up and do their show .
That a one man open mic night . Open mic night At Club Med , at Club .
Med .
Where .
I don't remember . This is 30 years ago . I'm sure they changed the place up since then .
No , but like which Club , med what country ?
In Cancun , in Cancun . This is the Club Med that you were .
A hundred percent .
Did you play with the Dolphins ? I didn't touch a dolphins and it was . It was . So the whole thing was gay , the entire Gay . It was gay . It was a gay weekend at Club .
Med , I would have been like I love that .
I would have loved that one . And we were there and we met with some , we , we , we , we went and we met people . We became friends . It was like a nice thing . And Besides the
¶ Pause for Laughter recap
open mic night show , they had Michael Feinstein the piano guy singer Michael Feinstein , I think that's his name . He has a night at the Carlisle Hotel . He's a big deal . And they also had Coco the drag queen , coco Patrice Coco .
Coco Patrice . No , miss Coco , miss Coco , yeah , I know her Something Coco , coco , coco .
No Miss Coco .
Miss Coco yeah .
Something Coco , yeah , and it's really I should know the name , but that was that . And then I did the set and it was taped and I got the tape and that was a tape that I used as a tape I used to to get my spot at at the comedy cellar .
Oh , my God .
It was taped over there .
Do you still have that ? Yeah , we have to cut that into this I think I had .
Oh my God I was . So I had no act . And then I asked for lights and began to speak to the people . I was doing crowd work . I was doing crowd work in there and I was obviously I'd been there for a week so I'd seen people and what they're doing , and we all have experienced the same food and the same beach and the same pool and the same everything .
So it was easy to do it , but I remember that was the first tape I ever had .
And who taped it for you ?
Back then it was a big VHS tape . You can buy it , Just like you buy pictures of your family .
You can still buy it . They're still extorting you .
Yeah , I'm sure they are , but otherwise club meds . The other ones I went to were all ski club meds .
Right , so yeah .
And then all I remember is at night you go there and they had that one song Hands up , baby , hands up , give me your heart , give me , give me your heart , give me , give me hands up , oh la la are you a skier ?
I used to be a huge skier , yeah really big time so you would go to club med with who like . Why would you go ?
to my parents . We were a ski family , we skied . That was it . And then I skied on my own and vacations I would go skiing , and then now I just I feel it's too dangerous to be doing that .
It is Do you ski ?
I have skied . Yeah , we were on a trip one time and we went skiing together . I've skied like three times .
I feel like it's really worth the risk .
It's now worth the risk . I have got a low center of gravity .
I love skiing and I was crazy . I love skiing and I was crazy . I was younger and I was like I would do the moguls flying in the air . I didn't care anything .
Now it's like it's not worth the risk .
By the way , it was like I'm talking about this in the show now , you know , with old people and falling , yeah . You know , should I be doing this ? Should I be doing this ? Should I be doing this ?
The answer is no , because you will break something .
No , you can go slowly , you can go that , but okay . But if you break something , are you okay for a while . No , not with skiing , Like I feel like it's really Someone who has a corporate job and he sits in a computer all day . He breaks his leg during his ski vacation . It's not going to affect him .
He's going to go sit there in front of his computer and look at the Dow Jones . Okay , someone who has to get on stage , walking on stage , does not need to chance having a broken leg . It's stand-up comedy , not roll-up-to-the-microphone comedy . So that's why I don't ski . I think it's a wise decision .
Yeah , I think so too , although the outfits are cute I was killed , I killed I'm sure I killed and we also , when last time we went skiing it was t-shirt weather so like , and you know biceps everywhere and it was really hot and we had cute helmets and goggles and everything it .
It's cute , that's cute . Although you know I'm a beach girl , Put me in the water , I don't want . It's like so much stuff and you have to schlep with the .
The amount of schlepping for skiing and the money is insane , it's insane , it doesn't stop . You know , you get the gloves and the lip balm and that balm and this balm , and your face always comes out all looking crazy after the ski trip , whereas you can just grab a bathing suit and go on a beach that's right yeah , but it's um , it's a high .
Skiing is a high when you're when you're going down that mountain , the day's perfect and the snow's conditions are amazing and it's a high , it's a high look , I don't know , I don't need a 250 pair of gloves it's that . And then there's the opera , the after ski . Yeah , you show up with the outfit . You gotta do a turtleneck moment .
You know a nice little and you're everyone's exhausted and you're in some crazy altitude that a sip of wine you're already drunk , so it's uh your feet are like frostbitten .
It's just not the boys like to do it . I'm always like call me when you're done .
No , no , I , I get it . It's such a an amazing high , but it's I just right now . We don't . Right now .
It's not a high I'm chasing yeah , I'd rather see you on a yacht than I would rather always be on a yacht .
yes , I would rather always be on a yacht .
yes , sir , yes , I hope we're not keeping you awake , I'm just letting you guys talk about skiing .
Okay .
Anyway , we're done talking about skiing .
You complain when I cut you off too much , and then when I let you get your words out , you look at me like Are your words out ?
I'm done , my words are out .
that was my take on ski okay , do you want to read some Modi moments questions ?
I don't feel like there's any other good ones in there you don't .
I feel like you had good ones there .
I thought I liked . How did you pick up Yiddish ? I know you've touched on that before , but that seemed .
There were better questions you had there .
What was it like growing up in the five towns on Long Island ?
What was it like growing up in the five towns on Long Island ? Much different than it is now .
Okay .
Now it's Borough Park . It's all religious . When I was there it was very cute and very not religious and it was just a completely different vibe . But it's not a question we need to harp on because it's already bored , Leo .
Okay , what was it like where you grew up ?
Where was it like ? Where I grew up ? Oh well , I grew up in Pembroke Pines , florida , in Broward County , in South Florida , and I gave it a shout out . At all of the Fort Lauderdale shows I said , hey , I have a 954 error code number , like on my cell phones . Everyone loved that .
I grew up in Florida , so it's a nice place to be a kid or an old person .
Okay .
Because , as a kid , you're barefoot , you're outside all year long , you're riding bikes , you're in someone's pool , you're at the beach . There's a lot of that . There's a lot . You can go disney world all the time did you oh yeah , we went to this .
We went to disney , not disney world , it is the one , but the one that's in orlando , because there's disney world and there's disneyland and the disney fans get upset when you mix them up . So I don't want to get canceled . But , we had season passes , because it was only like a three hour drive .
So like that , like we could just go up there and like spend the day and then like drive back late at night .
And that was legal for your parents . Let you do that . It wasn't like scandalous .
The Disney people , disneyney , I don't know I mean we did watch veggie tales the whole way up there , but , um , we were allowed to do disney . Harry potter was a different story . We had to warm up to harry potter because it was witchcraft .
But oh my god I was eventually allowed to read harry potter , but for a long time I couldn't and I was very upset about it and , like family members , had to talk to my parents and be like . This is like a cultural phenomenon he's missing out on . All his friends are reading it .
It's not rich , which they thought it was going to like make turn me into like a satanist or something well , it may have got worse , but it did turn me gay so .
And you're married to a rabbi , so good luck .
But I have never taken Ari to Disneyland or World or whatever . I think he's too old at this point . I think yeah .
We tried it once . He's 11 . 11 .
11 is . I was just like you can go to St Bart or you can go to Disneyland .
Oh , he's fine . But if you had to and like somehow , maybe Guy had some work thing going on in Orlando or there was a reason for you to be there .
Is it cute ?
Take him to like Islands of Adventure , like the roller coasters and stuff , not like Disney , disney's for like little kids .
I don't want to go on a roller coaster .
I'm sure Ari does . I'll take him . I love a roller coaster you do yeah . The Hulk roller coaster and Islands of Adventure in Orlando . Florida is my sh .
He never ceases to amaze me With the roller coaster . What's so surprising ?
Yeah , what the hell ? Absolutely . Let me be very clear .
Let me be very clear . Me be very clear a roller coaster at a light , at a legitimate theme park I'm not going on anything that's like at a county fair right or like a carnival type thing .
No , no , no , no , no , but an established roller coaster yeah , do we have faith in the people that are maintaining these ? I think so .
Everyone looks like Dave Attell , but no , if it's an established . This is where this roller coaster lives , all year round . It doesn't travel . They don't break it down and rebuild it somewhere else . I would go on that roller coaster Six Flags or something like that .
Have you been to Disneyland or whatever itland ?
or whatever . When we came to america , my mom was trying to figure out what's our vibe and we tried disney and we left in the middle . It was horrible . We thought it was . This is the worst thing ever .
This is just absolutely ridiculous and we left his mom was trying to figure out what their vibe was no , no , we , we tried , we went to the cast imagine you're in america with these .
You're like what do we do ? Like , let's .
So one friend said , try Disney . And the other friend said , try you know . We went to the Catskills . We left in the middle of the weekend . My mom hated it .
The Catskills , the Catskills . So you left Disney in the middle , came back there .
You know , 30 years later or 25 years later , I came back to perform there . Um , so what did she decide ? Your vibe was skiing . We were a ski family went to go . We took , went to mount snow . I was on the ski team with the . The high school had a ski team which skied hunter .
We , um , you're saying hunter like it's chamonix no , hunter is like upstate new york .
You're skiing on ice . It's ice up there anymore , it's just ice , it literally . That could make you what if you skied the New York slopes and stuff ? Here there's garbage . When you get to a place like Vail , you're killing it because you've skied on garbage Right right On , like literally on dirt , on black ice . You've skied .
You have to make sure that your edges were sharp , so your blades were sharp , so you can dig in . But yeah , that was our vibe , we skied , nothing else made sense .
I knew this was going to turn into a ski episode .
Yeah , skiing is so hot , it's so hot .
Okay , the Hulk roller coaster .
The Hulk roller coaster . Maybe Ari would like that , but don't take him ,
¶ Exploring old material
do you like ?
I mean , he is kind of body inspiration , yeah .
That's what , like jacked , that's what . That's why .
I have to start taking some steroids . Oh my God .
And turn yourself green .
Yeah , I do it temporarily . Look like that . How green are we talking ?
People know what the Hulk is today .
Yeah , of course , isn't there a new movie out ?
There's always a new movie out and it's played by Mark Ruffalo . That anti-Semite , oh he's anti-Semite , oh he's long . He says questionable things on the internet okay anti-Semite .
I was just thinking about how much I'd be calling . Mark Ruffalo you know what ?
it doesn't matter no , he kind of . I mean they'll . People will write in , they'll let us know what they think .
But why did he say that it was anti-Semitic ?
I'll tell you . I was just thinking about how much I liked it when you bleached your hair . Oh , I'm not allowed to anymore . Why ? It makes me look psychotic and I don't think I need any help in that department . That's patently false . It's very cute on you .
Don't read it .
Don't read it . Don't read it .
No , whatever , he had something that someone said okay , yeah , oh , he apologized oh , that was in 1920 in 2021 .
Okay , whatever I don't care um , you could .
I was just thinking if you bleach it , you could do it green and that would be very hulky , maybe for halloween speaking of halloween , yes , and I'm just verbalizing this because maybe and that would be very healthy , maybe for Halloween .
Speaking of Halloween and I'm just verbalizing this because maybe there's someone out there listening I want to find a seamstress or a costume designer or someone who can help me for this upcoming Halloween . I'm already planning .
What is it ?
I have two options . One is a very beautiful white Elvis jumpsuit , like I want it to be beautifully done . I don't want it to look like a party city elvis , I want it to be custom made for me . Or a spanish matador , yes hot yeah , but they both have to be done with exquisite attention to detail .
Lots of beatings and rhinestones or whatever you have to add to it to make it look fancy .
It has to be so good that after the Halloween we frame it . We frame it and hang it . How cute .
First of all , I could grow my hair out naturally between now and then to be an Elvis like updo .
You could .
And like a tight little white jumpsuit with the bell bottom and the v-neck , the big , I'll never look like austin butler . I'm okay with that , but we can try . Did you like austin butler and his rendition of elvis ?
I didn't , I don't care it was great .
Do you know what I'm talking about ?
yeah , I know exactly what you're talking have you seen the tiktok video of some .
You know those annoying tiktokers who are on the street and they like stick little microphones in people's face Like what are you wearing today ? Yeah , how much do you pay in rent ? Yeah , one of them .
I don't rent , I own .
Yeah , I don't rent .
Do you want to come see ?
One of them went up , Baz Luhrmann the director . Like legendary director , photographer , multi-hyphenate , I started asking him like about movies and they had no idea who he was . Yeah .
Like in the middle of the interview .
He like moves her so that the sun is hitting them better , and I was like see , always , always working .
That , um , I didn't see that movie , but I didn't see the .
Baz Luhrmann Elvis movie . No , but he was amazing .
I mean , I saw a little bit like I know that he did like an incredible yeah he's still stuck in that character that can't undo it , he can't , he can't get it out of him .
His voice is like stuck , like that now no way yeah , I don't think like actually physically literally . Think like actually physically literally , but I think for him I how do you do interviews now ? Normally everyone's like so enamored with his like deep elvis voice , like he's like oh , I guess do I love elvis .
Like , why do you want to be elvis ? Because you like the outfit .
Like , oh , because it's like drag for straight people . Elvis was doing drag . He was wearing makeup , little bedazzled outfits , that hair , those hips like Siegfried and Roy no , no , no , no the stuff . The guy ruined Siegfried and Roy oh no , I love Siegfried and Roy .
No , Elvis is hot .
Elvis is hot . Is Elvis hot ? He was hot at one point it was nothing hotter than that . But is that the image that you have , or do you have like the ?
I always keep the hottest image .
Yes , that's nice .
Yes .
That's Mashiach energy .
That's Mashiach ? Yeah , I don't think about it .
That's always my reference point or not , not true , not true .
Oh , we all hit a peak . No , but you , you can . It's at one point you peeking in the different zones where you are no , no , no , that's not true at all talk to me about the matador so the matador ?
what should I say about ?
it .
I don't know if you've seen but we follow well first of all , let me preface this ethically , I oppose matador . 100 people fighting , that's cruel and unusual to the animals dolphins and don't fight the bulls . However , those looks are sick . I want one .
The matador looks are incredible .
They're very , very , very tight , they're sewn into the outfit and they have all of their over zucker , their entire , their entire manly manly equipment on one side and it's like wrapped in like a pouch no , it's just like the pants are so tight that it's all on one side , you know how , like ballerinas , have those special things to hold all their junk male
ballerinas they kind of it's kind of that going on , but then up here is like very intricate , like things to hold all their junk .
Yeah , male ballerinas , they kind of it's like kind of that going on , but then up here is like very intricate , like different colors , like I like the matador better .
First of all , it's in your dna and I could get a prop , a sword you could also get a bull I don't want a bull , a cute one , a baby bull , I don't know a real bull , no , I did see a really cute cow on TikTok lately , like a mini , like a micro mini cow you could just carry around for the night Like some unhinged idiot that has those dogs .
It's an emotional support cow yeah .
And they're like this big . But the thing is is like you've seen Elvis , nobody's I haven't seen like a sick matador , like that's gorgeous .
But should it be a matador that like I'm a dead matador , like the bull one , and like I have like kind of chic blood , Like it's not really ?
No Cause , when you go to whatever party you're going to go to , then , okay , you get there , you hit them with the makeup thing of the blood and then , like now , you have a whole night to be in this stupid thing , and it's not , it's never cute .
No , you want . You want sick yeah for the whole night .
You can only get in february of in february , would be planning their halloween looks yeah I don't know how we got on that topic , but okay um , that was my fault , that was your fault . It's okay about the hulk . We started talking about the hulk , yeah that's a hot outfit .
Also , I didn't do halloween last year because you were getting a colonoscopy oh really , yeah , so you didn't , do you also , you you'll anything to not have to go out ? Yeah , you're right , yeah I , I'm actually surprised .
I'm like do you guys go out and dress ? Do you get dressed up for halloween ?
this is the thing thing about Halloween and I've said this before , this is kind of a soundbite of mine Halloween and New Year's Eve are amateur hour holidays , meaning it's all these people who don't normally go out , don't normally party , feel pressure or feel this need to cram a year's worth of fun into two nights and it turns out badly for everyone .
Everyone drinks too much or does too many things . They try to be too many places at the same time , too many friend group dynamics . People start fighting with each other . It's bad energy .
So why are we planning your Halloween costume in February ?
Because I'm an exception to the rule Is Purim coming up , purim's coming up , and you're actually doing a Purim event . For should I say , yeah , the Stryker Center , striker Center , the Stryker Center , stryker , stryker , stryker .
Stryker Stryker Center .
I just met her .
Yeah , you're doing their Purim event on uh march 13th it is a huge event , a huge uh a place yeah , that's not listed on modi's website , um , but if this , if you're listening to this , I think they're limiting it to members first and then they're opening up , but you can go to their website why aren't you getting into an outfit for Purim ?
that's a fun holiday it's a very fun holiday . It's um , and you get into the reason I'm getting . It's because you can get into a different character out of your , out of your zone , until you don't even know yourself . It's so layered , the whole Purim thing . I love Purim yeah , it's a fun one . It's a great story .
It's a great story .
And I'm in it Mordechai the Jew , mordechai the Jew . Oh , that's right , I'm in the story of Purim , and it's Iran , it's Iran .
Oh , I was like where did you run ?
What do you mean ? Where did you run ?
You said Iran .
It's Iran . No , it's iran . No , iran was the country that they yes , they wanted to kill all the jews and then they ended up getting killed , and it's just . History keeps repeating itself and no one's on top of it . Um , but purim is an amazing holiday .
It's a light one , it's a fun one and you have to give people mishloach manot right , which is right , the gifts you give to blessings .
Yeah , I've never been a big on that , but um it's . It's just a fun holiday , just a fun one .
I think I was good at those kinds of things . What the what's it called the mish mishloch manot . I wish I was good at like sending those out from modi and leo , just like I wish I was better at sending like thank you notes .
I had stationery made , remember like I know , I can I'm amazing at that and I will help you if you really want to send I think a good baby step is .
I have cards I should send out to friends of ours who just had babies and this and that I wish I was good at like correspondence , like that well , like if you had , we were invited to that dinner .
Yeah , like I should send her a card . Send her a card Just say thank you so much for the night . Yeah , first thing you have to do something like that is get the cards out of the drawer . You have to see them . Oh , yeah , I know they're in a drawer , you're not going to do it , but if you see the address and send it and you're done , it's great .
What you have to do is get cute stamps for starters . Yeah , A nice pen that you like writing with .
You're kidding .
No , I'm not kidding , it's like a it's ceremonial . I mean there's like a whole thing around it . It's not just to scribble off with like a blue Bic pen . So like I thanks .
Okay . So when you write the way I write , I have to write it on a piece of paper somewhere else first , and there's only certain pens that I write with that . Then it becomes legible .
But you're not going to write it . He's going to write it .
My handwriting is atrocious . No , it's not true , it's very good .
It's very good , it's very good . It's very bad . Come with me . I understand what you're saying . You're like in the crown when the queen takes her pen out . Yeah and dear Jackie .
Dear Winston Churchill .
Your Majesty , it has been an honor to serve . Okay , but that's , they know how to spell things .
So I have to really just type it out . I will come over and I'm gonna set it up . It's uh , but mishlachmanot is easy because you find a nice bakery and you just give them and how many you're supposed to send to everyone you know six no , you no , not to everyone . You know .
You can say , even you know from breads let's say they good Well the only reason I know about this is because Jack Snacks sent us a nice one one year .
Oh , so yeah , you can even have Jackie here's 10 addresses , whatever .
Jack Snacks . What's the Jack Snacks ?
J-A-X-S-M-A-X-X . Is it double X at the end or one X ?
On that note we love Jackman .
She , I think , does that we also love her father . Yes , we love her father and mother . Arthur Luxenberg and Randy Luxenberg of White and Luxenberg , our collaborators and partners in this podcast . It's the law firm that not only does well , they do good . Very philanthropical and very a part of fun things like this podcast and also A&H provisions .
The number one provision for kosher meets best hot dogs in the world available on kosherdogsnet , with a 30% off of your first purchase when using code . Word MODY . That's it . Did you get Jax's ?
Jax Snacks on Instagram . J-a-x-x-s-n-a-x .
And that's also her website . She sends a beautiful Shalchmanis .
Maybe I should post this episode first so people have time to listen before Purim instead of the one we just did .
Maybe it's a mitzvah . It's a mitzvah , it's fun , it's good and you're supposed to , when you give it , give it to somebody else to gift us . Did you know about that ?
Yeah .
So when you give your gift to somebody , give it to somebody else oh you're just supposed to keep regifting it .
It's kind of a regift . It's the OG regift .
I don't like that .
Yeah , but it's the way they have . If you give me one , I'm keeping it and I'm going to eat it . Yeah , just letting you know .
It's always the worst when you're dieting and all of a sudden the doorbell rings and this insane Mishloch everything you love in the world , and some of them are so big like there's definitely something in there that you love , and they send you jam and they send you this , and there's things that stick around for the whole year and it's such a great .
And if anybody wants to send us , we have a PO box . Yeah , we have a PO box . By the way , for the PO box , do you know that I visit the grave of the Lubavitcher Rebbe often ?
The one in Queens .
The one in Queens ? Yes , and if you want to send to the PO Box , you can seal it , put it in an envelope and I will bring it with me to the grave and drop it in there for you .
Oh , that's nice , yeah , so if you want to send me any note , let me know if you want me to read it when I'm at the grave or just put the envelope in the grave itself .
How much free time do you have ?
I go there whenever I visit my parents or something . It's like 20 minutes for my parents .
My husband does this .
Yeah , the address for our PO box is listed in the description of every episode .
Yeah , so if you want to send anything for me to bring to the grave of the Lubavitcher Rebbe , and what are some things that people might want to write . If they're not familiar , they want to write that someone needs refor shlem or someone needs full healing , that someone's trying to have a baby .
They should have more luck and they should have more finances better finance , looking for a husband or a wife .
Can I just not to cut you off ? Can I just draw a parallel here ? Because obviously you pray to God for these things as well , but now you're also asking the energy and the spirit of the Rebbe for help .
Yeah .
It's kind of like what the Catholics do with saints . Like every saint as a designated thing like this is the saint for lost objects . Saint Anthony , we have that too we have a saint the idea that you can go through someone else's energy to help 100% we have saints we don't call them saints .
We have rebbes and big and big , big tzaddikim that we , we visit their grave did you hear me people ?
oh , no one gave enough credit for khilul hashem the other day , by the way you get a lot of credit .
You deserve and get a lot of credit first of all . That's right . I forgot when I lost my . I lost my ring and then you told me that I had to make a donation to that you found your ring .
There it is yeah , oh my gosh , that's like okay what is that ?
what's that organization called ? It's like the oldest organization in Israel .
Mayor Balhanes .
Yes .
I caught you . We didn't discuss this , but when we were okay . So we were leaving Florida . We have like a 10 am flight . We're staying in Fort Lauderdale . It's not that far from the airport . We're always early anyway , so we have plenty of time . We leave the hotel . I'm in the Uber .
We're not saying a word to each other because we just woke up and we're just chilling .
What time is it ?
It's a 10 am flight , so this had to be like 9 am , like we're heading to the airport .
You go to the airport at 9 for a 10 am flight . Whatever it was , I'm just trying to understand 11 o'clock flight 9 .
It's early , it's just early . We had time .
As we're pulling up to the airport terminal , like where you get dropped off , to go into the check-in area , I go like this with my wrist and I go , oh , I'm not wearing my watch . And I look at Modi and I go Modi ,
¶ Revisiting the past with humor
did you check the safe before we left the hotel ? And he was like yeah . I was like oh , no , no , I didn't say it . My watch is in there . And he goes are you sure ? I was like I think so . And then I was like so I had to change . The Uber was like , getting ready to drop us off , I had to change our destination address , go back to the hotel .
I had already checked out of the room , so god knows what was happening up there . And we're like you could just take something out of the safe and be like , oh , it wasn't there . You know what I mean . So I run up to the room . It's in the safe . But I saw you in the car ride back to the hotel . You were .
You were already filling out that little form with the for the lost items exactly , I made a donation of 180 dollars , even though I knew the watch was going to be there to the mayor yes , wow , I'm panicking .
I'm like driver turn around . We have to go all the way back . Now it's like morning rush hour starting , so I'm like well , we still have so much time .
That's how early we always blah , blah blah .
I see him in the corner he's filling , filling out something and I'm like he's probably donating money to that lost items thing , lost items .
To the lost and found .
We never even talked about it until just now , but I saw you doing that and maybe it worked . Maybe that's why it was still there .
Well , obviously it worked .
Yeah .
Jewish lost and found . Jewish lost and found . What is the prayer that you're supposed to say that you guys told me about ?
after you land , after you land , before you take off .
No , that's .
I never heard any prayer .
Yes , you did . You're the one who the near-death experience .
Yes , oh , bekat ha-gomel .
Bekat ha-gomel . Yeah , and you say that when you land .
No , first of all , you don't say when you land , you say it when you go to synagogue that Saturday , when you get in Aliyah or during the Torah reading , you say that prayer , but we fly in first , so I don't say it . If you fly in coach , you have to say it . If you fly in business , you don't have to say this prayer .
Well , I was flying in first and I I promised I would say it when I got here .
It's funny that you say that because statistically , the safest place to survive an air crash is like the back , back part of the plane whatever it is they usually say the plane's going down , everybody's dying . Everybody's dying or everybody's surviving from the plane crashes where people have survived .
They weren't in first class , if you come from a near-death experience .
That's the prayer you say , and anything , anything , any near-death experience , surgery , any near-death experience colonoscopy nah , but but this is what , this is what . Yeah , this is . It's a near-death experience .
You say that , but if you fly in business or first , you don't have to say it yeah , you've been giving a hexer by this is you don't need to yeah a who modi gave a uh stamp of a certification that it's okay . yeah , people , by the way , when I quote things here , I I appreciate you correcting me , but again , this is not this . It doesn't matter .
I remembered it from here and from there and the Torah says it was there and here we're just trying to get good vibes out . We're not trying to , we don't care if it's wrong . Yeah , I mean , we don't want it to be wrong in a way that misguides people , but not wrong like if it was in Deuteronomy and I said that it was in .
Do you know if it was in deuteronomy and I said that it was in genesis ?
don't get on my case , um and if they do get on your case , you'll never see it anyway . I don't want to see it .
I don't care , you can't get on my case . I don't care what you have , only the good stuff I read . I read , only the good stuff . I don't . I don't care if you're crazy , tigers and suckers . Um , you unwell , those of you who are unwell , um , that's basically it .
No , anything else you needed before we go , let's see leo , now that you've checked out with your glasses , um no , I think we're good .
ModiLivecom .
ModiLivecom for all of your ticket needs for this tour that we are on , which is called Pause for Laughter . And has there ever been more of a time where you need to pause for laughter ? People ? I see it in the audiences afterwards at the meet and greets . You have to laugh . Find a way to laugh . It's going to help you . It's healthy .
Make your friends laugh . Make it's a night , instead of like let's all go to il molino and have uh pasta and they have the best season with . What are you doing ? Go to a comedy show . If it's not mine , anybody's comedy show in town . It's such a great way to spend the night with your friends . It really , really is Motilifecom .
We are going to be in sold out London , manchester . We have Berlin coming up soon .
Berlin's not until November .
Yeah , we have Pittsburgh , Las Vegas , LA and shows all over .
We had a matinee in Toronto on March 30th that has a lot of tickets left .
Yes , so we added Toronto Amazing , amazing town and the show is amazing . We added shows just so people can have some better seats options .
Markets like Atlanta , dc Kennedy Center is undergoing a coup right now , so we'll see how that settles out . Seattle , like the northern Vancouver . Those markets are also next on the list to be worked on .
Yeah , and we love hearing from you whenever you say where you want us to come and we end up showing up there . So , thank you very much for listening to the podcast and we end up showing up there . So , uh , thank you very much for listening to the podcast or being a part of it . Thank you to our sponsors , thank you to leo and perriel .
So really just wonderful working with you and being a part of this whole uh , yeah , this whole and here's modi experience and all of you listening out there . I hope we've provided you with some time to just not have to think , yeah , that's it , bye everybody , Bye everybody .