When Spouses Cross Lines: Dear Abby Edition

police official warns traditional values may be a sign a person is becoming extremist . I put that out on my X-File If you would like to go read that . It's from the New York Post . Of course , these people are going to call us extremists if we believe in God and traditional families . And there are only two sexes , not genders . Sexes , gender is gender .

The term gender is a made-up word for the 1950s to start introducing all of this crap . So there are only two sexes male and female . Okay , all right , go read that . This is a Canada , of course , but still it's close to America . All right , doj subpoenas more than 20 doctors and clinics providing transgender medical procedures to minors , mutilated children .

Yes , finally , good , make it . So , make it happen . All right , so let's go on and read the Dear Abbeys . Here we go . There are some doozies here . Oh , this one here . I can't even believe that this is even happening . Oh , of course , there's an ad pop-up . I'm sorry , hold on . All right , here we go , dear Abby

. My husband , oh , there's another freaking ad pop-up . Okay , my husband invited a young bartender to our house behind my back . What ? I don't even need to read this , but I'm going to . If your husband is inviting a young bartender back to your home , you don't need to be married to him . No , all right , dear abby .

I am 57 and have been married for 32 years to my husband , who retired from his full-time job last year . I still work full-time . Since his retirement , he has been going to a bar once a week or so or so , which probably means every night spending a few hours visiting with the customers and staff . One of the staff has taken an interest in being his buddy .

My husband is outgoing and somewhat flirtatious . Hmm , the staff member is a younger female bartender whom he invites to our home bar for drinks . No , this , no , this isn't . This would not be happening at my house . Uh , they have also established a social media relationship and send text messages . No , sir , no , this is no , this is not happening .

When I had an out-of-town trip planned , they concocted a plan for her to come over for cocktails with another of our friends . They planned to keep it a secret . Okay , look , if you got to keep it a secret , something's wrong because I might become upset . I found out and did become upset and have remained so .

I have discovered other messages and I no longer trust my husband . I don't think they are in a physical relationship . Oh , hun , they are . But despite his reassurances , I can't let go of what might have been shared about me and feel a deep sense of betrayal . Yes , you should . How can I move up forward ?

I'm gonna tell you this is from suspicious in washington . I'm gonna tell you how you can move on . Kick his ass out . He can go live with his little bartender girlfriend . How about that ? All right , so let's see what's . Let's see if dear . Let's see what Dear Abby says . Read more . I'm wanting to read more . Did she even respond to it ?

Okay , oh my gosh , these freaking pop-up ads , dear Suspicious . What the bartender and your husband are doing is inappropriate , no crap . It might be worthwhile to ask her employer whether there are any rules about their staff socializing with patrons outside the establishment . No , I don't need to do that .

There's rules in my life that my husband is not bringing home a female bartender to the house . Ask the establishment if there are any rules . That's stupid advice as to your lack of trust in your flirtatious husband . Under these circumstances , it is understandable . Marriage counseling may help no , no , may help to repair your relationship .

No , these people have been married 32 years . I know what he's after and it's a younger bartender . So , yeah , nope , not happening . All right , let's see . Uh oh , this was another sterling husband . My husband bailed out his ex bankrupt I'm sorry , my husband bailed out his bankrupt

ex-wife and didn't tell me well , how did you find out ? This is more than just that , though . Get this , this is a doozy . My husband is still in contact with his ex-wife . Okay , whatever , I'd understand that if they have children , but if they don't have children , I don't know why you need to be in contact with her .

But we're going to find out why he gave her a huge divorce settlement because he felt guilty . Here's why he felt guilty she supported him financially through medical school and he feels the needs to help her out every time she needs money . I can understand that .

All right , if she supported your ass through medical school , then yeah , I can see why you would want to give her money . But if you gave her a huge divorce settlement , I think that would be calling it . Even I don't know what the divorce settlement was , but this woman seems to think it was a large sum . So , moving on , the last time she didn't .

She didn't ask for it , but he had heard from his sister that she had declared bankruptcy . So he gave her a huge amount of money , but she didn't ask for it . So , okay , all right . When he told me he wanted to do it , I said no . When he told me he wanted to do it , I said no .

If it were for a medical reason , I would have agreed , but it's not . A few days went by . When I asked if he was still bouncing around the idea , he said he had gone to her house and given her a check . He knows this bothered me a lot . He gave me options . I could be happy that we could help her .

He would give me the same amount of money or I could get a divorce . Oh my , how do you like those apples ? Oh my , okay , I'll apply for a divorce If that's your option to me . If you want to throw divorce at my name , all right , we'll go down that path . Yeah , I'm like that . I'm petty . I love my husband , but he is too good to people .

He gives me anything I ask for which I don't , but this time I just don't know . He did tell me he loved me but had to help her . What do I do ? Present wife in Texas . Dear wife , if you love your husband , take a bite of that apple and be thankful he can afford to be so generous .

However , if you feel this generosity has somehow shortchanged you , and because Texas is a community property state , perhaps you should discuss this with an attorney . Ooh , all right , what do y'all think about that ? All right , last , dear Abby . And then we're going to question of the day . Dear Abby , my husband works out .

This one is my husband works out of state for an oil rigging company 20 days out of the month . He gets 10 days off . When

he comes home , we may have two days of quality time together . The rest of the time he spends on his phone outside . Okay . When I recently had spinal surgery , he came home supposedly to assist me . My doctor gave him instructions to follow after the surgery . The first was that he observed me for 24 hours to avert any complications .

Well , after a few hours , he left me alone so he could spend time with his friends . I was sleeping when he left and then , when I woke up , I was pain . When I called him and asked where he was , he , as usual as usual , hint hint got upset and said I can't spend time with my friends . I replied no problem and hung up the phone .

This is a little bit too detailed . He returned two hours later and we discussed it , but he left the house again . I don't know how to communicate with him without causing issues . What should I do ? Am I wrong ? All right , first of all , if you're why , this job that he has I think should be for single men only .

If he's gone that long of a time , I don't think I'd want to be married to him , just my , especially when he comes home and then doesn't want to spend any time with you . Maybe . Maybe it's time to part ways . Let's see what , dear wife , let's see what dear Abby has to say . You are not wrong . What you need to know .

Okay , I'm not even going to read this , it's dumb . If you want to go read it , it's on my X file . All right , we need to move on to the question of the day . All right , since we're speaking about relationships from dear Abby , my question to you is and since you're already married my listeners are already married , already in an established relationship .

This could be somebody that you meet new ,

as in passing , if you're at the grocery , whatever , if you're going to be friends with them , whatever coworkers , stuff like that it doesn't have to be your spouse because you're already married .

So my question is when you meet somebody , what is a red flag about that person that stands out to you that you might be like hmm , I may not want to venture down this avenue anymore with this person . What would be a red flag for you from the other person ?

Mine would be if they , if we're having a conversation and they can't look me in the eye , that's maybe a red flag for me . Um , I don't know what other , I don't know what other kind of red flag there would be , um , so , yeah , that's my red flag , I guess . What would yours be ? Okay , I got to go . Thanks for listening .

The Gent and I will hopefully be back Sunday for Brood Awakening , so be . Oh , and then also don't forget Sunday Scuttlebutt Sunday , 2 o'clock Central . Alright , gotta go . Love y'all Bye .