Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

Hey, there, everybody, Amy and TJ. He of another episode of Amy and TJ. And a question for the audience, A question for everybody, Really, what kind of relationship do you have with your parents if when you call them, the first thing out of your parents' mouth is is this a butt dial? What possible relationship? I mean, what could that say? Would you say, Robes about the relationship with the parents.

So that was that just happened. I so the reason why my dad said this. I called my dad and the first thing of his mouth is, well, this must be a butt dial.

And there are witnesses we have, like our producers and Andy and him in the room as always, and everybody could hear the first he didn't say hello, and no first thing.

He didn't say, hey, sweetie, nothing must be a mistake. Never call me, No, because I call my mom. I don't hardly ever call my dad. I almost singularly call my mom. I don't know, it's just been the way it's always been. And then if I can't get my mom, I'll call my dad. Andy says the same. Wow, So it's just I don't know my dad. I think he's retired now, but he was always busy he was always working, he was always overseas somewhere. He was constantly gone, so

But do you think you got into the habit or that is natural? That is a natural thing, Emma, which one do you do when you call? Do you call mom? You call dad naturally?

My mom naturally. And I wish my dad would call me more. Oh, shout out to the dad.

Wow, and Andy you says you're you call your mom.

My mom at least once a day.

I love that.

Yeah, we just do casual check ins. But my dad's same thing, like he's always I just I don't know, maybe it's just growing up and he was always busy, so I'm like, I don't want to bother him.

They have other call they're always on call.

And that's the thing. I don't call anybody. I know that I end up talking to my dad more. And what does he do and what does he say, call your mama, call your mom?

He does? And then you say, well, his mom there. I don't know, she's somewhere like they you must have a huge house because he never knows, or your mom is she's somewhere in the house, but just call her, Like he can't be bothered to go find her.

His house is not that big. They just find places to hide from each other.

This corners from one another.

Right, it's but the thing it is bad, I think they say, right, guys are more like this. Men when they leave the home, they are gone. Yeah, they're not. They don't come back much, they don't call much. And girls are different. But my to the point with my you've seen this happen. I will call them or they call me, and the first thing out of my mouth.

Is who died? And I would say, you have a fifty to fifty response on that were fifty percent of the time he's like, well, we got the funeral that we're going to. Oh my gosh, I thought you were kidding, And actually you aren't wrong. There have been deaths multiple times when you've asked that question.

Yes, but that's on me that I don't talk to them with enough regularity. So if I do get a call, it's because something that big has happened. The other one and the other way they say it. They'll call answer sometime and the first thing out of their mouths is nobody's dead.

Because they know what I'm assuming.

Everything's okay, We are doing we have great relationships with our parents. Wow, is what we're trying to say.

Feeling amazing about that yet and I actually it even shocked me that he said that, but I everybody heard, so there's no denying it. That did just happen.

So, yes, that's on the home front with the folks. We told you all about some health issues are parents were having. Everybody right now is holding up and doing okay at least give you that update. But everybody seems to be doing all right. Not quite traveling yet, no, but they will. We have been doing some traveling here as of late, with all kinds of weird experiences on planes. We had to go to La or quick. We had two trips, one to LA for the iHeartRadio.

War and then we interviewed Cheryl Cherlberg.

Which was great. But some of those plane rights are fabulous.

They're entertaining for not the reasons you would think. It's not the it's not the in air entertainment. It's just the people around you entertainment.

And can we say please to everybody, please take take this to heart. You gotta treat these flight attendants better. I mean these folks for reasons I don't quite understand. People treat them like you, Like you are my servant. You are almost you're my slave. And doesn't matter where you if you're sitting in the row row one through five, or you sitting and row twenty five through thirty six. Everybody,

Know, flight attendants have been so kind and so and they were working their butts off the entire time on little sleep oftentimes. And I have to say what we've noticed, and maybe varies from airport to airport, but you start out with TSA agents who are yelling and like, you know, screaming, You're like, wow, we're all just you know, trying to get somewhere and just it's just I don't even know how to describe its jarring, even at six thirty in the morning. And then you get on the plane. The

That's the issue that the passengers are now in such bad move from going to airport that they get on the plane in a bad mood and then mistreat the flight attend.

It's a vicious cycle of anchor.

You've seen this happen a lot of times, folks. You would be surprised how far you can get with a flight attendant by being nice the yes or him yes, because they have not they're not used to be treat it well. You have been a witness to this on a bunch of flights with me just being yes, ma'am, pardon me, excuse me? Could I please the simplest of things, give them a little respect. They're showering us with stuff. Yeah, right, and they are so kind and it's reciprocal. I'd just

Yeah, and that is contagious as well, So you just spread that little bit of joy. You feel better, You walk off the plane to wherever you're going, and you're just in a betterment.

What was my There was the flight to it, the one where I was just recently accused of stealing somebody's cell phone on a flight? Where are we going?

I think, La?

This was Fri.

It actually happened.

She witnessed this. I don't know which one those Jet Blue, yes, jet Blue. Can't remember what flight number. If I could, I would tell you. But the woman was sitting in seat one F yes she was. I was in five C, so I have no problem. This is how I went down. And this is something we'll get into this later about things you've witnessed as watching a black man go through some of the same I guess scenarios in life, but

Have it to me in.

The front of the plane, so flat out accusing me of taking her phone. And so at this point she's a short lady, so I actually scooched. I crouched down. I put my hands on my knees and get down to her level and I say, ma'am, are you telling me I took your phone? And then she says, oh no, but it's in and then kind of ignores me. Flight attendant goes crazy with me. It's just overly apologetic. Da da da da da. I get back to my seat next to Rose five seat right, and I don't sit

Sorry just doesn't cut it at that point.

And I was, I was, and I have to be calm, I have to be. If there weren't more people around, I don't think I would have bent down and would have been as assertive as I was, because I wouldn't have a witness to that. I wasn't aggressive towards or whatever it may be. But that was a wild flight experience.

Over and apologized profusely because she was mortified.

Oh yeah, but it wasn't her. But the woman was the one f lady. She said, yeah, she's crazy, she's been she's been difficult to whatever it was. But that actually happened.

You came over here, said some lady just accuse me of taking her phone. I was like, what when? Did what just happened? And sure enough, I'm watching it all play out, and you were sitting up on that armrest, and I mean that is something that, yeah, only certain people would be exposed to, man, but it was awful. Other than that, maybe she's listening, yeah, yeah on what that cell phone I took of her? Right, Yes, she's got a handy just downloaded the podcast.

But a lot of our shot research.

Right.

We said, we told you all we might do our next podcast from an island. We are not recording from an island now.

We had too much fun. I think we woke up a couple days. Do you want to record a podcast? We looked at each other. Nah, we don't.

We didn't even ask no.

It was like, yeah, that ship is sailed. We're gonna We're gonna do that when we get back.

But it was nice to get I mean, you don't realize how much the city can kind of wear on you New York until you get out and you can see the sky and you can see a sunrise, and you can hear something in the morning that doesn't sound like horns or construction. It's just it was wonderful to get away for a lot.

It was so nice. And it's funny though, just I've gotten used to your sleep habits now, but it is remarkable. It does not matter where we are. We could have the laziest of days with nothing to do. And he is up at four am, and I'm talking sometimes three point fifty nine, but almost to the exact second four am he's up, and so he is rustling around, and I think I got up with you one day and then kind of fell asleep on you on the couch. But we watched the sunrise, and you watched it as

I alleged you to read the text message from Sabine, and she was because I was already down by the water waiting for the sunrise. And sunrise it ticks twenty, I think it was it.

You'd already been up for two and a half hours, been up.

And I texted me, hey, if you get up, you want to see the sunrise, because I knew you weren't awake, And Sabine said, your woman is still asleep in here.

That'shious. Oh my gosh, you didn't tell me that.

She was almost getting on to me for leaving.

That's money asleep.

And then I'd say, well, you want to wake her up. She's sitting nam on my way. We left you that morning, Yeah.

Sunrise, but you did text me and tell me what you were doing. I woke up like at six thirty five almost, and so then I did the next two mornings. I did watch the sunrise with you because I wanted to do it. But yes, there, you better get to bed early when you're on vacation with TJ, because you are still going to be getting up at four ams.

Okay, but I didn't set an alarm. That's a natural alarm clock. I have at some internal clock. I wish I was not awake, you know, I wasn't.

I know, I will, I know, I know. It's well, I will say, you got up today. I was so excited at five point thirty.

A big morning.

It was. It was so amazing because we stayed up really late watching basketball. But I was like, honestly, the sun was starting to I was like, oh my gosh, he's not awake yet. And then I was like, I can steal a few more minutes. Yeah, that's what happens. I get really excited.

My sorry, but really, I'm sorry about the vacation. I none I could do about it. I'm four am. I wish I was still sleeping. No, I know, I got it. I'm sorry.

It's all right. Sorry, it's one of the prices I'm willing to pay, and.

I just say thank you as well. It's no small thing. This was the first trip that you and I and Sabane have been on together, just the three of us, and it was who nahala and we had a great time. But you it's it's no small thing these moments, and with the past year and a half, there have been milestones here and there, milestones that seem very small outside of our experience, but in this particular experience, they are milestone.

To snork but then you did it the next day and you loved it and started talking about scuba diving and going in shortcages. You went like from one extreme to the other in one day. I was like, Wow, you should just snorkle more. Let's see what else you might be willing to do.

I miss it, though, I just I don't get in the water a lot, but I do miss it, so you're right, though I didn't want to snorkel, and I can't wait to go to South Africa and do shark diy with the gray Whites, So that's what I am.

You know, it was a blast, and I love watching you be such a great dad to Sabine. It makes me love you even more. It's so sweet to see how much she looks up to you, and I just I love your relationship.

That's my girl. She's a water bug, man, she really is. And I had to ask everyone. I don't know who to ask. You have and you have niece's nephew who says, right, yep, what's the And anybody tell me this what is the right age? Because I've been against it from jump Street that a little girl, it's okay to put her in a bikini a two piece I think twelve thirteen.

Yeah, I was gonna say ten, okay. And I always put my little girls in bikinis, like when they were little. I just thought they're cute, little round bellies and I mean, they're just so cute. And then I think they always had both they like I never, but I never. They never had skimpy ones or like I would never have

This has been a thing with me into being four years and years and years, and I've been against her having a bikini for uh forever. So it came up again in conversation on this trip. But I was just curious of other people's opinions there and maybe to eat his or her own.

Yeah, no, I think that's it's something that is so personal. Everyone's got their kind of rites of passage and different milestones and different things.

But again I will say here, thank you. You have been fantastic with a little one and on this trip absolutely as well. And it's fun to see you'll cut up the way y'all do and even oh team up on me.

It's so fun not to be a disciplinarian like that. Honestly has been a gift. It's just been because I've always had to be, you know, the heavy hand, and so now I just get to be the fun ant.

The fun.

Yeah, like that's kind of how I look like I think the relationship haz.

Everybody should figure that one out.

Well, yeah, like everyone has a fun aunt aunt.

Oh not dad.

It's just that's a whole other thing. I wasn't even going okay, okay.

Before we got out of here on this one. We were talking about, of course, vacations. And you and I have traveled well together for a loan, a long long time for work. It's almost you can find your perfect meat for this and that and the other. It's like, it's kind of cool to find a good travel meat. It's so the travel name and get it and all that. But Andy has found us another list here and you I forgot which one we're doing, and so you tell me what this one is, and you're gonna test us. Okay.

So these are the ten red flags to avoid in a travel partner.

Things to avoid in a travel partner.

Yes, because you know a lot of people travel with friends or you know, maybe their boyfriend for the first time, and you know you don't know how it's going to be, and so these are things you can look for in your friends and say maybe never again, okay, all right, and to.

Go all right.

So number one is untrustworthiness, meaning like an untrustworthy friend or partner is a red flag because you need a friend to be honest with you while navigating a new place.

Yeah, I probably wouldn't want an untrustworthy friend period to do anything with.

But the stakes are higher. If you can't, you can't. I don't know. Maybe they were supposed to take care of the car. Maybe they were supposed to book a hotel that had the right security in the right neighborhood. Oh, yeah, that's a Whooh, that's an issue. We don't have that issue, Thank goodness, Thank goodness. Man.

Number two is negativity. Nothing's perfect, but when someone's too preoccupied with complaining about the experience, it can cloud your experience.

Let's just unpacking here.

Yes, negativity can absolutely ruin a vacation.

I agree, But we don't have it when we travel. We we like marvel at it around us.

Yeah, negativity, I mean it is contagious. It's it infects everything. So a negative person is not someone i'd want to travel.

Oh.

I'm always for whatever reason, no matter where I'm going, Traveling is kind of fun. It's an experience. If you're going for work or I just kind of enjoy it.

Yeah, and you can laugh at you can laugh at all the mistakes that happen because you know there'll be good stories later on. That's how I look at it.

Oh wow, have you ever traveled with somebody who is really negative? Like, have you ever had someone that you've literally just left the trip with and been like, I never want to travel with you again? Because I have personally.

I multiple times. Yes, with friends and with family, yes.

Relative relatives for you or work.

I would say work. There's definitely been some work trips where have been like never again.

Oh that's what for stuff?

Was that? Yes?

Work stuff. There are people I have I think I've gone into managers before and say OW will never travel.

I absolutely have gone and said I will never travel with this person ever again. Enjoy and here's why and very valid, documentable reasons.

I think that's a good way to segue into number three, which is inflexibility. How things can change, like roads could be closed, flights can be late. But you can't have somebody who's saying like we will catch this flight only this flight. I cannot move my stuff.

Oh yeah, that's awful. You have to be as much as we travel, you have you get it. You get it. You have to be flexible, and that's you always build that in. Foolishness is built in as soon as we.

Yeah, it's just enjoy the process, the ups and the downs.

Do you like getting at the airport at the same time, whereas one earth like, do you get there early late?

Okay, so I would consider myself not early, but not late. TJ is early, and I have absolutely jumped in on that because it is less stressful and you can have fun at the airport, people watching whatever, and you never have to worry if there's an accident or there's a gate change or whatever. You're you're there, and so your stress level immediately goes way down from the start of your trip. And I think that is the key, honestly, that I was missing. I cut it a little too close sometimes.

Okay, I'm early. A rule I've had for a long long time. I want to eyeball my gate an hour before that flight leaves. I want to be through security, and I want to go down and physically look at where I'm going to be boarding my plane an hour ahead of time. And that has worked for me. I'm just the early guy. Robes you sometimes, for whatever reason, you would prefer to be five minutes late somewhere then have to wait one minute. You know what I'm saying.

I heard. I actually just because I agree and you appointed that, and it actually has changed my stress level to not be worried about being late all the time. It's going to happen every now and then, whether you you know, put in extra time or not. But someone said the best way to reduce stress is wherever you have to be, consider your travel time, double it and leave then, and then your life and your day will be that much less stressful.

Got that from my dad, and I appreciate that. I mean now more than ever, but always early.

Number four is being dramatic. Overly dramatic or grandstanding behavior is received poorly regardless of where you are in the world.

Well are you looking at me? Yeah?

Oh I was, of course I'm looking at you, okay looking no?

No, no, as being the overly dramatic one. I don't think I am. On trips am I you just.

We talked about this on a previous one, right, you don't have moods. You just have levels of intensity at the airport. It can be a nine easy are easy? So yeah, you're you're, you're, Yeah, you're a dramatic one.

Well, dramatic. So I was actually thinking about being in restaurants and you know, you're in a restaurant, you're in a public place and you're you know, you're out to eat at a destination and someone's just the loud, boisterous, just obnoxious one. That's not someone I would want to travel with. I've even said like, I couldn't if they laughed like that or they talked like that, I could not travel with them.

I've heard that.

Yeah, so we've seen those people.

What was the thing? What was the number again? Where were that coming from?

Four?

Yeah? What was the one?

You just did it?

Dramatic like the dramatic loud people.

That's annoying people. Dramatic Okay, sorry, dramatic is you know, people going a little too much. My bag's only two pounds. Oh, like dramatic in terms of just everything is dramatic and okay, there's a lot of stress.

Like we heard in the customs line, Calm down, sir, Yes, no, dramatic people, Yeah, no, No, we don't do that or annoying.

It does say it can draw unwanted attention though, So to your point, Okay, maybe if you are with, like in a group situation, and someone who you're traveling with is obnoxious.

That's what I was thinking. Yeah, I was thinking more obnoxious than dramatic traveling groups.

Number five is selfishness. Unless you travel alone, there's always some degree of compromise that you have to succumb to when traveling with others.

We're golden there, Yeah, we're really good, totally golden, amazing.

Number six and this one seems like something you're doing TJ Excessive risk taking. Being adventurous and going out of your comfort zone can be a good thing. But risk taking behavior is not South Africa shark diving.

Well, it's in a cage.

I mean what he keeps telling.

No on vaca, I am not adventurous at all on vacation, and you know, I want to sit and do nothing. I want to eat, I want to drink. I want to go on my runs in the morning and maybe get on a boat.

Yeah. I do love the adventure. So yeah, just but risk taking, Yeah, I am a risk taker, but I don't do it with you. I don't ask you to do it with me. I'm saying they were saying warning signs that you might not be a good travel partner. I can do that on my own.

Everybody's trying to figure this out. Okay, what did you just say.

I'm saying that if I do do the adventure risk taking.

Yeah, you don't do that stuff with me.

I wouldn't do it with you. Okay, right, you got to do it with like minded people, is what I'm saying. But sorry, that was too complicated.

So what is this adventurous or risk taking thing you are not doing? Like you haven't planned.

It climbing Everest or Ocatagua or any of the other peaks that have been on my list.

When are those things happening?

I don't know.

Okay, Okay, what thing have you missed out on by in a relationship with me?

Taking those strips?

No, but you never had them playing.

But I would have probably planned them if you were.

With me, So you weren't.

Not what I'm saying.

Okay, I was messing with you the last part. But but why what's keeping there? Shouldn't be anything about me that's keeping you from doing taking those strips.

Yeah, one day, I took a lot of them. I've taken a break. Okay, would you go white water rafting?

M hmm, what's that again? You're getting the big round thing and they give you a raft, right, even though it doesn't make a difference.

And then you have a helmet.

Okay, anything that requires requires a helmet the water okay, okay, not my kind of boating.

All right, okay, we can talk about this later.

You wanted to hike, yes, said you want to hike. I do want to hike, which means walk in the woods at an elevated.

Yes, climb a mountain. It doesn't have to be one of the big peaks.

But hiking is different. I'm not I'm a mountain client is hiking? Right? Yeah?

Yeah? Like I wanted to hike through Provence and go from village to village see and then do like a wine tasting.

Why didn't we do that?

Because you're allergic to lavender?

You don't like I begged. You say we're this close, we got to go to Privance. You got wish we are gone.

I do want to go, but you're allergic to lavendar. I don't want to have you sneeze the whole time.

That is the most random thing.

Sorry, wait, how did we get here? Adventure and rest taking?

Oh my god. Yes, go to the next with Andy pole Man.

Lack of empathy. If you get sick or lose something on the road, you want to be with someone who cares and can help you.

Agreed, you want that, sure, but you know what, say say it again, Say it again.

Lack of empathy. And you're sick or lose something, you wants to be with someone who cares and can help you.

Okay, Okay, we just go to the next one. Empathy. Yes, okay, I know I'm thinking about you abandoning. Sabina and I at the airport when we got back to the other day.

Because I had global entry and it was about an hour and a half line, and so I just said, see you back in New York City, okay, And Alisa was waiting for me. Keep going, you said, it's okay, sweety, you can.

Go one more time. You got anything else, that's it all right, You can go to the next one.

Number eight is budgetary differences. If one of you is a big spender and the other needs to be thrifty, it can affect every situation from the flights to the hotels.

Yeah, I've had that before, but no, we don't have that issue at all. Yeah, and we always we split everything. Yeah, it's always fifty to fifty and yeah, we've.

Never no, I've never never argued about that.

Yeah, So it's a red flag also for someone who you've traveled with. So has that ever been an issue where you've been on maybe a vacation with a friend that you've said to yourself like, oh, I thought we were going to go spend and now we're not.

I think I've discussed that beforehand, like because if you're going to be doing like communal activities. Yeah, I mean I've definitely had those conversations. You have to.

I think I've I've had those issues, but I was the friend on the broke in my friends are they do?

Well, You're like, can't stay at that hotel, but I'll get about a half mile away.

We can stay at the same spot if you you can get the guy you know in the management office the compy two nights. Oh yeah, I have stood around in high roller roulette rooms Vegas with nothing to do but watch my high roll of friend Campbell. Oh yeah, I've been that guy. Okay, he tells drinks, I need a cigar anybody.

Yes, but that could be a problem if you don't have your attitude.

Number nine is drinking too much. There's nothing wrong with partying while you're away, but if you're carrying your friends home every night, then it can be a problem.

Agreed.

Yeah, No, I've never vacation with somebody like that.

I've never had that experience ever where someone gets that. Nah, I mean usually I don't know. I feel like you know your friend group and who you're traveling with.

Is that because you're the one usually being carried stop?

That is not no, not I have a.

I don't even have a smile on my face. It's not a serious question.

I was never made.

That never happened, So what I heard isn't true. Where are you going with you anywhere?

Number ten is jealousy, So the green eyed monster may be more likely to strike traveling. So if it's an issue with the friends while at home, it will probably be there when you leave. People who are too possessive they can create a major headache on your Oh. It can be hard to spot, but you want someone who's happy for.

You, happy for you. Possessive also, like I was like, okay, I can see that. Where were you looking at that woman? Or that kind of a thing back and forth, like even with if it's like a significant other, like possessiveness, jealousy, Like.

I don't think I have that. No, folks are like checking you out. I'm jealous that they're checking you out.

I don't know if that's one of them. Like jealousy, possessiveness, Yeah, says.

Jealous friends and partners tend to pick fights, easily, take offense, and have poor respect for your boundaries.

Oh no, I've never had that.

Oh, I don't think we have that. And I don't travel with friends like ever.

I've traveled a lot with friends. I'm never yeah, luckily, but that yes, would be awful and reflax all right. I like these quizzes. We passed them, which.

Where he's going to get one? He's going to get us one of these.

I know. I'm actually looking forward to the time when we're like, ooh that might be an issue.

Well, this has been great, and we will we will leave you all with them. Oh robes, this is vacation robes. This is rested robes. Nowhere else you'll go back to sedated robes. Next to the exciting that we have both officially signed up for the Chicago Marathon.

Oh yeah, officially this morning.

Officially, Yes, are going to be doing the Chicago Marathon. You've done it once before, to be my first time around.

It's wonderful, wonderful marathon, and we are so excited. We have friends running with us too. And you also signed up for the New York City Marathon.

I am going to do them back to back this year. Me, that dude that for years said to you, I'm not a runner, I'm not going to be a runner. I will never run a marathon, has now signed up for two that are three weeks apart I think this year. So that's exciting.

Everything is got a lot to look forward to.

We do. We appreciate you all as always for checking us out. You can find us on Instagram the show at Amy and TJ Podcast. You can find us on our pages as well. But for now, Amy and TJ, We'll see y'all soon