Turnabout Is Fair Play

Welcome to the podcast, everybody. Amy and TJ both here, and I'm excited about the day's podcast. How about you, TJ. H.

I'll get back to you here shortly about it. They'll know how this is.

Going to go TVD. And the reason why he said that is because we actually talked about this topic together and both agreed upon it before we sat down. It started and correct me if I'm wrong here, TJ. When we were on text with each other and we were exploring our feelings, and you suggested, because yes we know each other, Yes we'd known each other for a long time, but it doesn't mean we knew everything about each other. And you said to me one night, ask me anything,

I didn't realize it at the time because I thought you'd take advantage of something like that. Because I meant it every time I said it, and I had to egg you on and push you to ask me a question. But yeah, you're of all people, let's know about nothing I'm hiding from you, so I don't need to hold my tongue or be careful. So it was a relief to be asked anything by you.

We're going to take turns, and I will put myself in the hot seat. But this episode, I actually realized as I sat down, I got a ton of questions I don't know the answer to, and we agreed that we wouldn't obviously let each other know what the other is going to ask, So I don't even know where you're gonna go with your questions, or what themes you're gonna have, or any of that. And the same goes for you. And you ready to get started? Yeah, all right,

A life worth living that has the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, but not one I would ever take back. It was full of opportunity and love and family. And I took those lessons with me and led to great success, but then some of my greatest failures. Those are the lessons I had to learn on my own and not things I got from the family and

What do you need that you don't currently have?

Probably a scheduled colin. My sister got on to me of this two days ago, sent the text as if I had one. I said no, and she said, well, you're getting older, you need to get one. So that's the only thing I can think of.

I like what Tish asked you to do. That's good advice. What from your childhood would you say shaped you the most.

The most is a tough one. Maybe my experience my time internal Arkansas country, little town about twenty miles outside of where I grew up. That's where my granddad was, and I was very close to him and coming up, and I spent so much time in that back and forth and that family element internal Arkansas that I think so much of what I saw and experienced their shaped to me. I think about uncles, and aunts and cousins and things that I do that I got from them

You have a quote from him on your arm one of your tattoos.

That's a long story. The tattoo only says make them all happy. And that's a reminder. I lost my grandad in twenty sixteen, but he was maybe the closest person to that point that I had lost. But a childhood memory of mine sitting out a window, I was probably six seven years old and just sitting at his feet around the holidays and he's just, you know, he's holding

What is your first memory?

Falling down the steps in kindergarten at a circus field trip and a big dude in cowboy boots having to stand at the railing as I was going down the step to keep me from falling over down maybe a few stories to the level below. That is my first childhood memory. Falling, Yeah, falling down some steps and being saved by a white guy and cowboy boots. No wonder, I'm messed up.

Oh my goodness. It's funny because they say your first memory is usually a traumatic one and that's why you remember first one. I remember, Wow, Okay, were you born with swagger?

Get my mom in near and ask for that. My guess is yes, I was born. My due date was August sixteenth, nineteen seventy seven. That will sound familiar to some folks because that ends up being the day that Elvis Presley died August sixteenth, nineteen seventy seven, so I always know the anniversary of his death. It was forty seven years this year because I'll be forty seven. But I ended up being born on August nineteenth, so I always joke I just wanted Elvis to have his moment.

Maybe you're Elvis reincarnated. Whoa thinking of that? He went upstairs to meet the big guy and then came back down. You never know. I think it's possible. What is something that you would like to change about yourself?

My sleeping habits, that's just a health habit I would like to change. I'm getting better about it, but I have a hard I have a difficult time forgiving and giving people a second chance who aren't already in my circle of my world. Like I meet new people or whatever, somebody I'm not that close to. I don't they screw me once and I don't necessarily let that person back in. But I want to do better about being more forgiving. Okay, that's what I'm.

Saying, what is something you'd like to change about me?

I don't want to change anything about you, baby, You're perfect.

I think you said that a little too quickly.

That is my answer.

I won't follow up, what do you miss most about your life? Before the tabloids released those pictures of.

Us anonymity, there was a an ease, I should say, I think a complacency, which you can argue that that's all what we all want. We all say we want adventure, we want something new, we want but truly we just we'd like to be comfortable and not stress the hell out all the time. But I think there was an ease and a comfort just generally speaking to life in the direction it was going. That's that I think I let sometimes creep back into my head. But I would never go back to that.

Well, I was just going to ask the next question, would you go back to your old job if you could?

That is, there's a lot of ifs in there, and does that include working with you? Does that include working with some of the same folks that are still there that would involve that would have all a lot, But generally speaking, I can't I can't see a path of doing that now. I shouldn't say a path. Obviously, nobody's over there is thinking about us coming back. But I don't like I couldn't set up a scenario that actually makes sense. Okay, Uh.

What is the biggest misconception people have about you?

That I'm outgoing, that I am the life of the party and an extrovert.

Okay, I would agree with that. What is the hardest decision you've ever had to make?

The don't know. There have been a lot of difficult decisions that shaped life and would have changed the course of my life altogether. I had to make a decision to where I was even gonna go to college. I had to make a decision to take that job or not that job. I had to make a decision to get married. I had to make this decision to get divorced. Made those decisions twice, actually right those old things came.

Yeah, that certainly what I've What would you say is your biggest turnoff? I'm talking about when you are.

Dating someone smoking I can't deal with.

Oh I did know the answer to that.

Yeah, this non starter.

I was trying to ask questions I didn't know the answer to, but I actually knew the answer to that. Yeah, just forgot all right, what's your biggest turn on.

If a woman can't put on that sounds weird to be sitting here with my girlfriend talking about if this woman. If I'm to ask the question, it's fair if she can't put on jeans and a white T shirt and belly up to the bar, have a draft beer and watch a football game on a Saturday. We're not gonna work.

Out, but if she does, it's a good start, all right. That's a point in my corner. What do you look for in a partner?

Like?

What are the qualities that matter to you the most?

You have to There has to be a at this point. We all say we want to be happy and seeking happiness, but I find it to be peace and anybody that disrupts my piece is a problem for me these days. So what I look for. I look for somebody who is self aware, self confident, certainly not clingy. I guess independent is one way to say that. But you just can't disrupt my piece. I need someone who is comfortable with who she is because I don't need to have to deal with you and your issues. You have to.

This sounds like an interview question, but I'm actually curious what the answer is. What would you tell twenty two year old TJ just getting out of.

College, have a good time, homie, have a good time. Absolutely, what did go get them? Have a good time? Enjoy yourself? I can say is you know, look, I'll be careful, do the best you can. Try not to hurt yourself if I hurt anybody else. But other than that, I can't. I would not be sitting here with you, the love of my life, if that twenty two year old TJ took my advice and did anything different. Yeah, you gotta go on that path and go on that journey, and you don't know where you're gonna end up.

So I won't ask the questions do you have any regrets, because the answer would be no.

The only one is I kind of regret that I didn't continue playing football out of junior high school. It sounds crazy, but I was. I stuck with basketball. It's already always a pretty good basketball player, and I had some smaller college opportunities out of high school. But as good as I was in basketball, I was a better football player. And if I actually broke my ankle, and I said to hell with this after I broke my ankle, but if I had continued with football, I kind of

Do you think we would have been friends in high school?

I should qualify that by saying where were we attending high school? Some neighborhoods, some blocks, some cities. Maybe we would have never been rolling with the same crowd, but generally too, I think what your question is, yes, what we would have cut up and clowned and gotten in a lot of trouble, But yeah, personality wise, and you and I, yeah we would have been fine.

I think we would have been the kids who were separated in class for talking to You always said, but I thought you were going to take the opportunity to point out that you were in middle school when I was in high school.

But uh no, you said, would we have been good in high school together?

I just thought you might take the opportunity.

Oh, it's fun and it was college. You were in college when I was in junior high school. No, we did some numbers.

Yeah, because junior high school to you was ninth grade and that's seventh or nine. Yeah, I see that was different for me. Middle school was six to eight. So in my world, I was you were in high school.

When I was in When you were a freshman in college was what.

Year nineteen ninety one?

You know what I was doing. I was in Junior High West Junior High in West Memphis, Arkansas. Yes, home of the Blue Imps. That's where I was when you were freshman in college. So wow, I guess I did have swagger right.

All right? I would tease some of the questions I'm going to ask you, but I don't want you to prep for them. So stay tuned. We'll be right back. Welcome back everyone, TJ. Remaining on a hot seat, and I'm gonna just dig right in. So what do you worry about most?

TJ? Uh bean being okay? My health and business and professional success?

What is something you could say right now that would surprise me?

I say that surprises you. You would be surprised to know.

That.

As soon as we get done with our work today, in this podcast that I need to take up an issue with you from an email that I sent you earlier.

Great, that just sounds so much fun, Like maybe I'm going to extend this even further.

My response is you asked, can't wait for that?

All right? Who would you like to interview most on this podcast?

Diane Warren, Jimmy Allen, Matt, and Rachel. I'll leave it at that. You said who is one? But those are three that popped into three or four that popped into my mind immediately. All right, and I say, Matt and Rachel. Maybe some do know, but Matt, Matt James, we will I have him on with Rachel. I'm actually looking forward to it they having that conversation with him.

Yeah, they're good people, and I think we've had some shared experiences. What is your most embarrassing moment?

Most? There have been a lot of embarrassing moments. I picked one, but all right, I'll pick the one in which I was new to k In TV out in the Bay Area, the NBC station out there. I was fairly new. I was filling in for the main anchor on the late news and they did not update the prompter at the top of the show. His name was still in the prompter, and I introduced myself by calling myself his name.

I have heard that story of before, but it's always good to repeat. I didn't I forgot you were going to go there, But yes.

I didn't know it was. But that's the most embarrassing thing that's come to mind.

Is there a video of that anywhere?

I mean, I don't know it was tapes and whatnot back then, so it's probably long gone, but.

Beta tapes or something, so man, that would have been fun to watch. All right. I don't know the answer to this. Do you care what people think about you?

Yes? We all do. We can't help it. If anybody says no, they don't, then well I think it's rare that people don't care what people think about them, but I think everybody does. It's just a matter of how much are you willing to adjust who you are to try to be liked? And that's I guess that's where it stops. I care up to that point.

Yeah, I was gonna ask how much do you care? How much does it affect you?

Not very much these days, because I don't know what people think of me, because I don't spend time reading anything, as you know. But I obviously I'm aware that folks out there will continue to say particular things about us, and there'll be a narrative that's some a narrative that some won't ever get away from. But care, Yeah, And we have to care to a certain degree more in that we actually work in public life to where what somebody thinks of you or somebody we've seen it a

What would you say is your worst habit.

Worst habit, worst habit, worst habit? I have a bad habit of blank ah worse. I mean, oh god, I mean, I'm trying to think of the habits have bad. A sleeping habit. Not sleeping is not a habit.

Well, it can be, and it kind of is for you.

But that's awful. It's it's there's a countdown clock going for me every single day that's going to expire at about four thirty am. So the closer I get to that time, is how much sleep I'm going to lose. So if it's ten o'clock at night, eleven o'clock at night, midnight, some people can go to bed at midnight and this I'll just sleep in until seven or eight. I go to bed at midnight. I go to bed at one, doesn't matter. I am getting up at four point thirty.

And that countdown clock does not help. Isn't that just anxiety producing?

Well, it probably keeps me from falling asleep faster. I think a lot of people can at least relate to staring at like it's midnight and that, oh god, I have to get up at five, and then you're so stressed that you're missing sleep that you can't sleep. So I don't necessarily have that of anxiety about it.

What is your biggest pet peeve about other people? Folks that stand on an escalator. We'll get that twice as fas as folks if you just walk.

Okay. So I wrote an escalator down with you one time and you said to me, this isn't a ride.

It's not an amusement park ride.

I was confused, and You're like, what are you waiting on?

Move? Yeah, that must have been early on because you know now now I know, do not stand on.

The escalator when you're with TJ. What are you most afraid of?

I am a I am afraid of. I guess all my fears have to do with sabine right, have to do with family, have to do with health, have to do with those things. But in day to day life, I don't I've gotten away from that. And I used to be that queste and five years ago would have gotten a word to spawned a much different answer. But it seems weird to be at a place where I'm not daily or generally fearful or worried or scared of something. Fear I don't know. I mean, I guess I'm supposed

All right, honest answer there, Other than smoking, what would be a relationship deal breaker for you? Other than well, because that's what you had said before, a turnoff?

Oh, other than smoking? I mean, try something. Is that a challenge you rich your best shot? Other than a turnoff, a turnoff and getting into a relationship or versus getting out, I'm not thinking of it.

Yeah, this is like being in a relationship with somebody and could somebody do something that is a relationship deal breaker for you? Asking for a friend?

Um, I think there is a trust element having to do with right, you told me it's not a deal breaker, but you told me something not long ago that you had never told me, because you revealed to someone that we were dating, and you hadn't told me that you did that ahead of time, even though I'd asked you before.

Now, yep, okay, that makes sense. What is the most meaningful compliment you've.

Received being a good daddy?

That makes sense, and you are a very good daddy. What would you say is your biggest insecurity?

I have bad feet ding That was just a have.

A very bad toe.

We know, we saw only said that to bye some time.

That's okay, I'm going to be doing the same thing.

Come on with a real answer.

What s biggest insecurity because you don't seem like a very insecure person at all. In fact, I feel like you are one of the most secure people I've ever met, and yet I know you're human, So you have to have some sort of insecurity that pecks away at you a little bit here and there.

I'm insecure about, you know what. And this made me have something to do with our our business right for so long, for too long, I attached my worth, my value, my identity to the accolades or the adoration I was getting publicly. So when that goes away in a way it did to where we got more famous than ever,

You actually set this question up earlier with one of your answers, but I already had it written down. Why is it so hard for you to forgive? And I put me in parentheses, But just in general.

I don't know. I actually could probably go back somewhere if I had to unpack this with a with a therapist. But I have always been that way. I don't know. I've always been that way. Just it's more so I can forgive people who are I forgive my sister, my mom, you man, close friends, we all get into beefs. But when it's someone who's just I don't know that well. If it's someone I just have a difficult time being

What is your love language?

I can't keep up with what these damn things are. It's five of them, and then y'all say it six.

If you had to pick between, I think physical touch, words of affirmation.

There are the gifts in there, right, gifts is in there? Probably words of affirmation, words.

Of affirmation, this acts of service. I think I'm missing ones.

Probably.

Oh quality time. Quality time is the other one.

Quality time is a big one for me.

Okay, yeah, so those two words of affirmation and quality time.

The gifts isn't there? Okay, so all of them. I'm trilingual when it comes to love languages.

I like that, all right. When did you know you loved me?

I think from birth there was something. Oh, it was kind of something on that August nineteenth and West Memphis all those years ago, just a hole in my heart from birth. Doctors couldn't figure it out.

Oh my god, answer please, Look, I'm still not sure.

I'm dealing with yo. That was a joke. Everybody got cold and Jesus sold.

That very well. I kind of sucked my breath and got stone cold.

Quiet. Oh he's just snorting about it over there. That's a good laugh. That's a good laugh. Loved you for a long time, loved you, been in love with you in this way? When I knew that? And I'm thinking of it in my mind, like when did I know I'm in trouble? When did I know oh oh, this needs to be a dressed I campinpoint, but I twenty post pandemic twenty twenty. When was that, damn girl?

I mean, we started working together in twenty twenty, like closely, we always work together, but we actually shared in America that.

I'm the twenty twenty It was early twenty twenty two. We didn't start talking about it until much nutel later. But when I thought that was an issue was for me? Was twenty twenty two going into I don't know spring certainly somewhere, but spring twenty twenty two is what I would say.

How do you motivate yourself when you're feeling down or uninspired or just low? What do you do?

I have learned now that I need to stop and rest and take could beat. Usually I would try to push through. I would pop another five hour energy, stay up all night. But I've learned now that sometimes I'm less productive by staying up for three hours and not getting anything done instead of just taking one hour break and being much more productive. So that's I've learned that to motivate myself, I don't need a whole lot of it. I need I get down and I get low. But

What is your best life advice for someone who is starting out in adulthood? Like, what would you what would be your best advice that, with everything you've learned, everything we've been through, what would you say?

I would tell folks, don't let perfect to get in the way of good, which is some great advice I got a while back. This point you have given all we know. I don't know what to advise anybody. Cool luck, but we went through. But no, you have to screw up early and often make as many of them. Don't ever, don't be afraid when you're eighteen nineteen twenty twenty one. Don't be afraid then, because you can actually make a

Well, I wish I had gotten that advice about twenty years ago. Okay, so lightning round when we come back, stay with us. Okay, here we are with a lightning round for TJ. Holmes favorite movie of all time?

Ten Commandments.

Oh that's surprise.

Yes, Charleston heston you and Brennard that movie, favorite movie all the time.

I did not know that. Yep, very interesting. Okay. What's the last thing that made you cry?

Probably you?

I didn't say, who is the last person to make you cry?

Okay? Something you said? The last thing that made me cry?

I duly noted. I'm not going to ask what it was, because I probably just don't. I want to keep that to ourselves. What song will get you on the dance floor?

A sap rocky f problems?

Okay? Favorite country you visited?

Morocco?

Maybe?

Wait, there's a Brazil in there. Give me one a second. Maybe, Oh, Frances, for.

So many good ones.

I'm trying just what trip I enjoyed the most. Let's go with France.

Okay, And what what country do you still want to visit that you haven't yet that's on the top of your list.

Top Egypt is way up there.

We are in sync with that, all right. I don't know the answer to this favorite color black that's mine?

What the hell?

Man?

I mean?

You gotta have some silly ones.

You see me. The color I wear most is probably I do wear black most, but as far as being on TV blue, I would go with a lot of blue. Okay.

Favorite holiday Thanksgiving? Oh, I knew that. Dang celebrity crush.

There are so many. Mom oh god, Zazie Beats, Helen Muhren, Emily Blunt, Angela Bassett.

Wow, you can stop now, my god, Edgar Ramirez, Denzel Washington. I should have qualified that question. Name your favorite or your biggest celebrity crush? It's okay, I liked it. Last thing you searched on Google?

Damn, I don't know that's a good shot. Check yeah, check it. Okay, you want to ask the next one while.

You're do you believe in astrology?

It's fun to play around with, but not really.

It's so leo of you. Last book you read cover to cover? Yeah, I'm really curious what this one is cover to.

Cover with cover to cover? Hiesh. You know what Cover to Cover? You know what it was? It was Will Smith's biography, autobiography, Okay, because I had an interview coming up with him, and yeah, cover to Cover. I think that was the last one because I had read all the singers stuff, Marchol Singer and yeah, I think i'd read all that beforehand. I think that was it.

I listened to that book. It's still I mean that it is an amazing book. It's an amazing read. All right. What's the last thing you googled?

Art Malick?

Please explain?

He is the actor who plays the villain in True Lives. Why did you google that? I was trying to remember who he was. I had the movie on, and you know I always have something on in the True Lies is one of my absolute favorites. David Lee Curtis is one of our absolute favorites of all time, and he is the bad guy, the terrorist in it. But he is a British actor and I was trying to look up his background. That is the last thing that I googled.

That is very funny. Okay, best gift you've ever received, man, I got.

A lot of crappy gifts.

Or they're so good you can't pick.

The best I've ever received. That's todd I really do not know.

Do you have a gift that you remember about that? Because have you ever gone through Christmas and you're like, wait, someone asks you what your favorite gift is and you can't even remember one of them? Was there a memorable gift?

You know what I got? I got when I was I don't know, five six seven. I got a a Gi Joe set. They had like forty fifty pieces in it. I cannot remember being that excited about a gift since. But yeah, I've got a lot nice gifts, but the greatest scale. I was trying to think that anybody ever give me a car or a suit or a house or pay my rent for the month or something. I've never gotten anything on that scale.

Yeah, all right, but memorable? I like that. What would your last meal be?

I need a shrimps of each to start. I need a caesar salad no croutons, dressing on the side with anchovies as well. I need a lobster ravioli to go along with my bone in filet let's cooked midrare. And I need a bread pudding for dessert.

Okay that yes, none of those things surprise me, all right, best way.

To die as late as possible.

Okay, fair Favorite interview I hate when people ask me this, but I'm asking it to you. Favorite interview of all time.

All time, probably a series of them I did with Alex Trebek. Favorite because I just learned so much from him in the time I got to spend with him, which was a lot. But that it will always stand out. Have been so many over the years obviously for it. But you enjoy them for different reasons. You enjoy some of them because they made big headlines and we're good for your career. Others because you got to meet great people, and it is the whole range of emotions with Alex Trebek.

Yeah, that was very cool that time you got with him. We all learned a lot from you about him. A dream car.

That I've owned them, I think already. Well, I'm not I'm a big car guy, but I'm not a big exotic car guy. So I yeah, I had for a few years a red Corps. Yeah, a bright red Corvette, and that was car I missed that car a lot. It was sick shift right, it was a six seed. I can see it now, I can see me in it now. But my dream car, I am a very basic dude. I want a just a fully loaded white Chevy Tahoe and I'll be happy the rest of my life.

Okay, best stress reliever.

Running.

That is very, very true. I love that this is out of the lightning round because I just maybe want to end on something, you know, insightful, something to leave the listener with. What would you say is your biggest takeaway takeaway from the aftermath of this past year.

Biggest is the biggest. There are so many I have. The takeaway has to be that this two shell pass. People have told me that my entire life, or when something comes up, and so many did tell me that this time you can tell. Sometimes people say in passing, and some people say it still being sincere, but others

And here is the question that so many of us ask at the end of interviews. Is there anything I didn't ask you that you'd like to say?

Nope? And I love when the interview e would say that, no, good to go. All right, my plane's taken off here an now and half.

Anyway, you covered it all great, good to hear. How did that feel?

How did it feel? It was fine? I mean, I'm not gonna, you know, take issue with the interviewer. You're the professional here.

I like asking the questions. Which one do you prefer most?

Asking or answering? Yes? Asking? Yeah.

Same.

It's easier for me though, to answer them, because, like I said, you can ask me anything. It wasn't too much in here that was so so out of the box or controversial or threw me off to where I didn't feel like I could just open my mouth and speak. I don't you know. There are times our entire careers were on live television. You always to some degree have to be mindful of what comes out of your mouth. You can't be completely honest, you can't got to couch

Well that's good. That makes that feels good?

Is there?

I'm curious? Is there a question you thought I was going to ask that I didn't.

Oh, no, okay, I don't think so.

All right, more to come. I love it. Well, thank you TJ for being our guest on the Amy and TJ Podcast.

Thank you so much. I like what you guys are doing here.

I hope you come back next week or on a couple of days. It'd be nice to have you around in the studio. I know where to find you, all right, everybody. You can find us on Instagram at Amy and TJ Podcast. We're both on Gosh, we both joined TikTok. We have our private Instagram accounts. There are numerous ways you all can reach out, but we hope you will, and we hope you have a fantastic day.