Hey, everybody, welcome to the podcast here. And Shotenfreuda, well apparently I don't even know what that means. Please explain that, you all. There's been so much that's been happening before we hit record on this this episode, and shiden Freuda was the last thing we hit on. Is that right?
Shotten with freude. I'm not really good shot in Florida. I'm so bad at pronouncing German words. But my dad was explaining it to me, as was my daughter who is in Germany right now. But it's a word that we actually don't have an equivalent for here in the United States. Who out there has laughed at someone else falling? That's the best way for me to describe it. So you're taking some sort of okay, everyone raised their hands, yes, okay, please, thank you, joined the club.
Can come on, everybody. There are whole YouTube videos that go for an hour at points just showing people fall because we laugh at that for some reason.
And the reason why we know that is because we have watched many of those YouTube I think it's called fails.
That's not us, that's Sabine's. Sabine Holmes is completely responsible for this. She's eleven years old and kids with an iPhone they sit up and they just watch YouTube all day.
Yep.
Oh, God's no. But this is one time that YouTube paid off for us.
Yes, So we have been for whatever reason in this past year. How many times have we seen people falling around us? I had?
Has anybody seen the movie Radius? Okay, it's a horror movie. You haven't seen it. It's called Radius, and this guy essentially has a radius around him to where anybody comes in that radius, they die right at the premise. Okay, so it's a fascinating movie to watch. But I argue that I have a radius around me when it comes to people falling, and if you're around me within about ten to twenty feet, it's a good chance you might fall fall.
I can confirm that because when I'm walking next to you, I cannot I'm like, this statistically cannot get possible. How many times? And then you feel bad because we actually have to separate and walk away because we don't want I don't want anyone to see me laughing at them falling. I mean, they're okay, they're hurt. It's just comical. It's like physical comedy, like The Three Stooges. Kind of stuff.
We have to walk in opposite directions almost run because we're laughing or tears are coming out of our eyes, and I and we can't be together because it's even funnier.
I'm thinking about some of them now and I got tears and I'm wiping in my eyes because the funniest some of the bunnies want. Okay, when one person takes out the other, that was the best. Oh wow, yes. But then when kids fall out of the strollers, they're not strapped in plant.
They bounced though they have a lot of cartilage, a lot of baby fat. Didn't see anyone crying even but we that's happened twice in front of us.
Okay, y'all look in judgment right now. Yeah, okay, okay, you'll know what I'm saying.
And then runners, runners, we had so many runners just like bite bite the dust. Like when we're running and we're you know, you're oh, skiing. I was explaining this to you. You don't ski. One of the.
Hardest things would have ever thought. I don't ski.
But when you're skiing and someone has some like unbelievable crash in front of you, I have to pull off to the side and stop because I start laughing so hard I then fall.
That's not the stuff we're talking about. Stuff we see is regular walking down the street where people should not be biting it.
And then they always look back like, what, how did that happen?
Wow? What's wrong with this sidewalk?
No? I slipped on a banana peel the other day. That actually happened. I told you I took a picture of it because I knew you wouldn't believe me. It's so ridiculously it's only in a cartoon.
Would you see that happen?
But I slipped and almost fell. I also turned around and said what was that? And it actually was a banana peel? And I had to proof.
Do you sent me a picture? You send me a picture of a banana?
It was a fresh banana?
People, okay fresh now now you're going fresh?
Okay, brand new banana? Puel media. It was ready to slide anyway. They there's a German word basically that says you take pleasure in something that maybe you shouldn't.
But that's where I got in with the back and point. I just asked you, hey, send the ask your dad, because I want to understand what the translation. What there's a difference in Florida shot in Freuda. There's a difference in taking like comical seeing somebody trip versus taking pleasure in someone else's demise or their pain. And I was trying to separate what this word. I think that's evil. I think that's evil. We do have a word for
that in this language in English. Right, that's evil, That's mean. This is more like.
Just come on, this is human nature. There is something in all of us that sometimes thinks it's funny when someone or something falls, or there's just some I mean maybe someone could that's that's my takeaway from it. But it's just this funny thing when you have other languages that have words that we don't have in English.
Anyway, that's just one of It's a great word.
Who sent it? Was at your day?
I sent that?
Okay? Did he explain why he sent you directly to voicemail when you go?
I don't know. But obviously he's busy, the retired man that he is, was too busy to take my phone call. I mean, would.
Break the voicemail.
Dad got else? You just took a shot at your dad, you know I did?
All right? Okay? He knows.
I love him, you know what, but he does his uh the charity work, delivers the meals, right, oh.
He do you know what? That what he's doing? He does meals on wheels. And remember I tried to call him the other day and he didn't answer. I kept calling back and finally he was like, Ames, I'm delivering food, meals on wheels. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I.
Don't have time with your shot and froud oh whatever it is.
But yeah, you're right, he might be doing charity work. Now now i'd go offul I'm not taking Yeah, that's tough.
Okay. So all this was that out again. We didn't know how we were going to start this, but that we were talking about that before we started. The other thing was therapy. That look, we've talked about here, like you have not been shy about I haven't done a lot of therapy over the years, but like, what is
the right way? What serves And it might be individual, but what serves somebody better to read a book or to go sit and pay three hundred dollars an hour to have someone like you were arguing, validating, Like there's no question I think therapy has been beneficial to a
lot of people. But we were talking about it at the same time what our experiences are and our guest today is we were talking about this with her because she has dealt with some therapy as well, like what is the way or what has worked for you or worked for us in terms of reading a book from Michael Singer or else somebody. I'm forgetting Ekartole versus and then putting that stuff into practicing your everyday life versus of session a week, a session every two weeks.
It's interesting because I think maybe it's it's a combination. I mean, Gabby Bernstein, Michael Singer, Ekartole, all these people I really credit with helping me through some of the toughest times in my life. I reread them, I listened to them in audiobooks, I listened to their podcast. I mean, they really do have insightful things to say that apply to everyone. This is about how we as humans can
become Ego lists is basically what it is. It's about, you know, thinking instead of what am I not getting, it's what am I not giving? And that's the general concept. So I think those are amazing things to You're laughing at me because you say, I start getting all Michael Singer on you. Fine, whatever, but there be Oh why are you laughing? Yeah, that's not why you're laughing.
Oh my god, we need therapy.
Oh god, why are you laughing?
Because you went into it. But I'm thinking about fine, I'm thinking about Saturday, okay.
Because I didn't apply it.
Yes, that's the thing.
I know what to do, and then when the moment happens where I can make a decision, I'm not in that state of mind where I'm aware. So sometimes I actually made a little video diary for myself yesterday to remind myself, and every day I want to remind myself. That's why people meditate. I think that's why people do a lot of things. They journal, but just we all
need to reset. The ego is so powerful, and if you don't continually remind yourself that that is actually your enemy, then you can slip into it because that is human nature to protect and to defend. But that's what creates most of the problems that you have in any relationship you have with anyone or even with yourself. And so it's like I was trying to tell myself positive thoughts and let it go. Let it go. You don't have to hold onto things. I'm not I wasn't gonna think,
I was gonna think. But therapy to answer your question, I think can be really helpful when you are in a crisis and when you need help. And I have been there when I when the books and the podcasts and what I know intellectually I can't put into practice because I'm so far you know, in a downward spiral, I can't get out and so so crisis.
When you need help, you what is your thought then? On what I hear from people oftentimes is that you, yes, crisis and you need help, is fine, but you need regular checkups to where you need to go once a week, twice a week or whatever, mean once every two weeks or what it may be. Well that there's an argument there that we do use it too much for a crisis instead of as a regular checkup.
I mean, I think it's such a personal individual thing and if it works for you, that's great. I have had so much.
Therapy over the last fifteen years it's absurd.
I don't even want to know how much money I've spent, but at least I feel like I spent it towards something that was going to make me better.
Yes, Scott, thank goodness you spent that money, because I am the beneficiary of all Oh my god, I am the beneficiary of all that money spent.
It's a work in Progressjay, it's a work in progress.
Uh yeah, but today we do have And folks have heard plenty of times on this podcast even but over the years, if they follow you on social media, people have heard the name Nikki a whole lot. Nicky, Nicky, Nicki, Nicki Nikki. And you hear so much about Nikki because Nikki is the best You have been your best friend eight.
Years, yeah, eight, maybe even more.
Maybe even more. But Nikki, I let you. We're gonna introduce her. She's sitting here with us in there Heart Studios, and she's somebody we are obviously has been a delight to us and has served us so well in so many ways. But I want you before don't do an introduction, Okay, I would really like for you to describe your relationship with her. Don't don't introduce her. She's this, and she's that, she's a textan Filipino and that we get into all that, but what she is to.
You, she is my rock.
She is the person I turned to when I'm in isis beetn emotional. I don't think I could have made it through last year without her. She is that person who is always there. I can count on her for anything and everything. If it's two am, if it's two pm, wherever she is, she would drop anything and everything because she is like the warmest, sweetest, kindest, most selfless person I've ever met. And I actually feel like I don't deserve her as a friend, that's how good of a
person she is. And she is just I call her Yoda because she's so wise and she's hilariously doesn't know basic stuff sometimes, like she didn't know what a fern was. Well, I don't know why that sticks out of my mind, but there's a funny story there, because it's just like silly stuff like that. She'll ask like what's that? Like are you kidding me right now? But she will be so wise and have so much insight to things that
just blow your mind. And when I need to be grounded, or I need to get perspective, or I just need a friend, she is the person that I am so grateful to be able to turn to because she's just I call her a unicorn.
Yoda and unicorn, those are the two things I call.
Wow, we have listeners who we have to leave this to your imagination. So put Yoda and a unicorn together. That's nicky, and that's uh, that's a Yoda unicorn baby, and that's nicky. And get that in your mind. And you know it's funny you call a Yoda because she is about his height.
Yep.
She is not an insult, not an insult. She gets it. She's four foot eleven.
Yep.
And at this point, you again, you introduced me to her, and she has been around with me the entire time I've known you. But she's known essentially Samine her entire life.
Yeah. I think's known you is almost as long as she's known me. Yeah.
But it's fun now that we sit here and that my little one that she's known since one a year old, literally a year old, Sabina is not taller than she is.
That's so funny.
That's wild. So folks, a lot of folks out there have called her and looked and they've asked you, what is she your? Have you adopted her? Yep? Is she are you related?
Yep?
What else have they?
They they asked if she's my daughter, which was a kind of offensive, but okay, offensive because I'm not old enough to be her mom. She's a forty year old woman.
Oh okay, so what does that say about me? Sorry anyway, but she looks so young to be fair, that's true.
That's true. And also they've also questioned, are platonic or not? Like there's been a question as to whether or not we have a more than platonic relationship.
You Oh yes.
People have absolutely raised their eyebrows and said, what's going on with you too?
Do you answer?
I was like, are you kidding me right now?
That's not a so I no, obviously, I know.
Absolutely speaking Okay, everybody like, can I talk?
We I've also gotten assistant. People have many people have asked if I've am your assistant? I've gotten everything. So because I did live with you upstate during quarantine. First of all, Also, just real quick, thank you guys for having me. I'm very nervous right now. Team then I feel very calm here at peace.
Yay. Well, I was gonna say it's Nikki a spina, but hilariously, because of what you look like on Instagram, your handle people call you Nike.
Yeah, so my handle is actually Nick Espina. And y'all's first podcast. Actually, when you call you, when you said my name Nikki, I got a few d MS saying I always thought your name was Nike, Nike Spina, and so many people wing and saying I thought the same thing. So because of y'all's podcast, it's NICKI, it's Nicole Denise Espina, and I go by Niki.
Yes, so you are still no, no at all, no, no at all No.
There's like maybe two people that ever called me.
To Cole, I asked her to describe her relationship with you. I'll do the same. You describe your relationship with this one.
Oh my goodness.
Well, first of all, I had to like look away when you introduced me because you started tearing up. And when she cries, I cry, and everyone in here already knows. I'm pretty nervous because there are certain people that belong on camera or in front of a microphone. I'm not one of those people. I get nervous. I get like very shy, and I'm just like I was actually just texting with Anna, your youngest, and I was like, she was talking me through this.
She was like, just be yourself, Nikki.
So the same thing with Anna and Ave of course, like I've seen Sabine grow up.
But even I'm calling bulls. See you right now, people, Okay, see you right now. You are lean back in the chair, more comfortable than you're one of us. Yeah, you're holding your microphone as if you're about to be a playlist or something. Right, they can stop.
Oh my goodness, it's because of your amazing team that are making me feel very comfortable and y'all, of course I feel I'm with my family now. So but my heart is beating like crazy right now. But so I to look away because you were crying. And we actually spent like two hours on the phone yesterday bawling her eyes out, just talking about life and not even like bad tears, but good tears. But back to the question, See,
some people really just don't fly like I digress. Sorry, Amy, She is my rock, her and her family, her and her two girls. I swear they are my family. They are my chosen family. I love my actual family, and I very much love my chosen family. You guys have been with me for eight years. I definitely want to get into the story of how we met, because that is actually one of the biggest questions I get. But first I just want to talk about us, like just
so many people. I was just telling my boyfriend this the other day, that so many people wish that they had such close friendships. And I'm thinking, as a forty year old woman now, who just I turn forty in December, so many people would kill for such a close friendship.
Right.
It's to the point that people question it in a sense.
But it's literally like we go through college and your friends are right there in the dorms, They're right there in your sororities or your fraternity or whatever. And then when I moved back to New York City long story shore, I lived here, I moved away. I came back in twenty ten, and for the first few years I was actually I lived by myself on this in this tiny, little Upper east Side apartment, and I was just I'm a personal trainer.
I was just working.
Then I would go home. I was working, I would go home. I have a close friend group.
Amy, you are my sister, you are my best friend, You're my free therapist. So talking about therapy and everything, but I crying about two hours, just life changes toole, life change, life changes, anxiety, anxiety also just literally yeah, why, I'm a very like introspective person head in Yota, So I'm just constantly thinking, just like overthinking. I'm a big overthinker.
Amy's like always talks me down. She's like, you're overthinking this, or but just live stuff, live changes with everything, be it with I was actually crying a little bit about like Anna moving away, honestly, like that's something I can literally start crying about, Like Ava's in Germany, but she still lives here at n YU and just even literally the thought of Anna moving away, So don't start crying. I won't Anna moving away in a few months to go off to college. We're not sure still she hasn't
chosen which college yet she wants to go to. But just the thought of that, I can literally just start crying. I had just got done with work and I called you up and we're just literally chatting on the phone for like a solid hour or two just about life and about the books and about the podcast that we listened to.
And we just we share, we share podcasts and ideas and yes, and we're just we're we're really sappy like that. But we were constantly supporting one another. I think absolutely when we have anxiety, which is amazing. Absolutely, you want to go back. And the story of how we met is pretty funny because it's not what people would think favorite story.
It's literally one of my favorite stories.
I needed a dog sitter.
I actually worked at ABC Radio. I don't know if y'all know, I don't. I know you knew this. The thought of making a cubicle is so funny to me. Definitely not me. I ever going back to a cubicle or I did fit.
Yeah, anyway, So I did that for about a year, and that's how a lot of people think, I know you. Actually I did that for about a year. This is two thousand and it just wasn't me. I just knew I wasn't meant to be working there, and I wanted to travel. I wanted to live elsewhere because I loved New York so much. I love New York so much that I was like, if I don't leave now, I'm never gonna leave. So I ended up moving to Hawaii
for a few months. Then I went off to Brazil for a few months, and then I was like, Okay, I'm ready to go back to New York City twenty ten, and I was like, I'm gonna pursue personal training. My aunt in the Philippines was a personal trainer. She's the one I really looked up to look up to still, so I pursued that, got my certification in that So twenty ten, i work at New York Sports Clubs and
I'm getting certified to become a trainer. And in the meantime, obviously I had to pay the bills, so I'm not yet a trainer. I don't want to train a new one until I'm actually certified. So I get a job at Quicksilver on Fifth Avenue, right by a Rockefeller Center.
Quicksilver is a like a surf brand, surf brand, skate brand.
It's one of my favorite brands. I was like, and I don't mind retail. I've always enjoyed retail. I did that through all throughout college. So I did that while I'm also working at New York Sports Clubs as a a as I'm getting my certification.
Right and Sarah Haynes walks in.
So Sarah Haynes.
Walks in one July summer day in twenty ten, and long story short, one of the coolest girls. We just hit it off and she gives me her card and she actually became my very first client. We're training and she and I'm talking about my love for dogs, and she was like, would you ever want to dog sit one day? Is that a possibility? Like your like apartment sit enjoy my apartment on the Upper West Side at the time, or Hell's kitchen this is where she lived. And I was like, sure, I love dogs, of course,
let's do this. So I start not only training her, I'm dog sitting for her. And then let's fast forward to.
Well you you you trained, so you trained Sarah? You you you dog sat for her. Then she introduces you to ginger Z.
To ginger Z in twenty fourteen, so then you're dog and I think start dog hitting and did you train dog or just not dream her?
I just dogs. I loved her dog so much. I actually dog sat dog walk.
I actually gave up a few clients to walk her dog every day because I loved him so much.
Nicki loves dogs and she loves kids she doesn't have. And then you so I was twenty fifteen. I go to ginger and I needed a dog sitter, and she was like, actually I know this girl. I met her through Sarah Haynes, and she also is a personal trainer. If you need that, I'm like, actually that it sounds amazing. Will you give me her number? So if you look in my phone when your name comes up, it still says it says trainer, Nikkia. Yeah, that doesn't say dog sitter.
That wasn't your trade. You're a trainer. And so you started, you know, helping me out walk and not really walking Brody, but taking care of him when I'm traveling, apartment sitting yep.
And then and then I said I'd actually love a personal trainer.
Yep.
So I was coming out of breast cancer, and I knew I wanted to get, you know, more fit after everything I'd been through. So you and I started training. And the one thing about Nicki is when she trained someone, she's not just physically training them. It's also I learned a therapy session to go back to our theme therapy. So I started thinking, like, this girl is so interesting.
I mean, she and the training would just fly by because we'd be talking about our feelings and what we think about the about life and all of this stuff. And so I started learning things about you, and you told me at that point, and I find this so interesting that you were eight years sober, that's right. And I started asking you questions and you explained what happened.
So back in I think my last drink, like I partied haired in college, and then my first few years here that one year in New York City, Hawaii as well. When I got back from Hawaiian and Brazil, I got back here and I was just like, I didn't have a great experience at a party once, at a work party once, and I was like, I'm done, Like I
just don't want to drink anymore. So when I got back from Brazil in twenty ten, I was like or two thousand and nine or so, I was like, I think, I'm just not going to drink.
And I just was able to cut it out of my life. Cold tricky.
So I get back to New York City. I'm putting all my energy into training and working and everything. And at the same time, I didn't really have like a close friend group or anything. Didn't have y'all at the time or anything. So I was just like, I don't I'm just not going to drink. And I just wasn't tempted to, I didn't feel like I needed to, didn't want to. So for eight years I just did not have one drink. And then it wasn't until I met my group of friends that i'm very still like, still
very close to. I was like, I finally feel like I found a group of people that I feel safe drinking with.
Yeah, and I started eating back into it as a woman. That makes a lot of sense.
Yeah, And then you eat back and how and how do you feel now about about your drinking habits. I feel very very.
Healthy with it. It's not something.
I'm a social drinker. I love like the you actually taught me this phrase. I drink to enhance joy, not to mask pain.
So I I love it.
I love going out to our our lunches getting rose. I love our run to run to fun. Whenever I go running with you guys, let's grab it be speaking to the afternoon now, yeah, fun. Because I feel safe with y'all. I feel safe with with you know. I think that's a big thing. Actually, just when I won't just drink with anybody, I need to know that I'm in a safe environment.
So I have a very healthy relationship with it.
But I enjoy it. I have fun.
I love a good glad. Are we gonna get rose after this?
Can we?
Well it's not dry January anymore? Yes, let's do it.
And I wanted to be clear that you you had a bad experience, but you didn't have some drinking. Probably. I just wanted to make sure.
Yeah, yeah, Actually I.
Appreciate you meuntioning that because there were only a lot of people. Yes, yes, yes, actually I appreciate you saying that it was an uh No, I never I know, was never addicted.
I was never like an alcoholic or anything like that.
Someone else who put you in an uncomfortable situation and you didn't feel like being under the influence in any way helped the situation.
So it was scary.
Absolutely.
It was actually at at my first corporate job and it was a work party, and it just it it was just not a good situation to get.
It was just wasn't a good situation.
Do you remember the date of that party?
December something two thousand.
Wow, Because something is different. Like so when I said she should knowed that, she also has this incredible memory. Where so a if you ever are going to be in any sort of disagreement, and we don't fight that much.
We've had a couple fights.
Sure, but I would never dare say I said or didn't say something, because you would be able to almost rebate. Tell me what I said, or but I didn't say that. You say it in the nicest way, like I don't think that's what you said. Actually, keeping on the stay, Yeah, and then you can tell me the date that it happened, and you can sometimes you can tell me what I was wearing.
Oh my gosh, I could tell you the dates I met.
Y'all say, I'm trying to think, move to our audience right now. Oh god, that she does it. No, you wouldn't fail to test, obviously. But it's been bizarre the times we can say when was the thing and you go boom right off the top of your hands.
Just recently, you guys were like, hey, when did you go to Marie's crisis with a Nick and Adam last year? And I said it was April seventh of twenty twenty three, but Amy pulled up the pictures like she was right, it was April seventh. Right, I can little thing like document it on my little things also like sure, my mind, my brain, but also pictures and stuff. I love taking pictures, videos, I love documenting like you know, Instagram stuff.
But it's because of that, like pictures from Oh we took it on April seventh.
All right, So what's the day you met TJ?
So there was an actual day that I met TJ at the studio in Times Square with Sabine, Little Sabine, she was so cute's so little, But that was in passing.
That was in passing, Oh TJ. Sabine.
But when we actually, like, the first day I babysat Sabine was June first, twenty nineteen.
WHOA.
So I and I do know this because the day before Amy me, Amy, like us and some friends went out and we're all just having drinks and enjoying.
Oh, TJ.
Holmes needs a babysitter tomorrow. Is there any chance that you're interested? I was like, oh, hell yeah, let's do this all right, I'm gonna test you again. What's the first what's the first day that we met that you came and dogs hat? The first day that I dog set? Well, okay, either one more day we met or the first day you dog sat.
First day we met was August thirteenth, twenty fifteen. Oh my gosh, it's weird. And I'll always remember when I met you. Guys, I don't know what it is.
And you remember the first day you came over to watch Brody. It was two days later, like August fifteenth, that.
We had so at Oh was that just us three? Yeah?
I didn't even remember Robert.
I actually remember it was August sixth, twenty twenty three, because Amy and I went shopping that day and then you met up with us. We were shopping in Soho and then you met up with us at that place on Houston.
I don't even remember the corner there, guys.
I have the worst memory.
I am the opposite of detective, but the favorite one for me.
And you'll remember there was a particular something between the two of us that you she's already you sat I think you're the only witness to this, right, Okay, He sat up in a dead sleep and woke up and shouted out my birthday.
I know this.
Hold on, this is a fun game.
It was.
It was Halloween. It was hollow because we went to Ava show.
We walked through that parade. Yep, we get to your apartment. I were on the couch I fell asleep watching a movie. TJ's on the floor, and then out of nowhere, I was talking to TJ. I don't know, you just scream August nineteenth. And he goes, wait, what did you just say? And then you don't even remember that.
I didn't remember. The next day I was in work, TJ walks by my dressing room and he said, hey, Robes, when's my birthday? And I was like, huh. And so I looked to my producer, Danesca, and she's I look at her, and we have we have we can make eye contact.
She knows what I mean. She's like, I'm looking it up.
So she looked it up and she whispers to me August nineteenth and I say, I'll get nineteenth. And he said did you know that? I said no, Daneska just told me. He's like, do you know what you said last night on the couch? Nope, I screamed August nineteenth. We still can't understand it. I don't think anyone will believe it unless you witnessed it.
Again, you were the only Nikki's only witnessed it. But this was before there was anything between.
Yeah, they were just friends. This is years before two years.
Before at you a complete dead sleeps new and I were just we're just talking. We're the World Series game or football game.
Yes, I ordered pizza out.
And we're talking. Everybody else's passed out, and you just shut up on the couch, spread out nineteenth.
It's weird. I don't even have an explanation for it. It's one of those boobs.
Halloween of twenty twenty one, twenty twenty one, Yes, twenty twenty one.
There it is.
Yeah, Oh my goodness, it's anyways, if you guys need help with your.
Day, have you heard of I mesia? I have not.
What is that?
They say, that's what you have. It's someone's ability to spontaneously recall the dates and details of events that happened in their life.
Wow. Yeah, And oh my gosh, even small ones like you it. I can't tell you how many times it happens where you all just kind of be saying what was that, and you'll just shout out the exact date and then, like I said, you can tell me what I'm where I was wearing sometimes, Oh my gosh. Really weird.
Oh absolutely, but you remember when you wore that?
No?
Also, because like I just I have pictures too.
It's like, like it doesn't matter. I have pictures too. I have I have the opposite condition that you have. I can't remember anything. I'm like when it humh, oh my god. It's a fun little game we can play.
We can I love the can do day.
So wait, So if you google Nikki Aspina, I did it today. There's there's a lot of you out there. But one of the funny things you will find if you google Nikki Aspina is she made headlines. You. You went viral last year because of how you live and where you live and how much you pay to do that.
Oh my gosh, everyone knows how much I do.
It's New York City. But please tell our listeners because this is going to blow your mind everyone.
First of all, how much as you're.
In seventeen fifty Okay, that sounds great, rights, yeah.
In New York. Now, what is the square foot of your apartment?
Eighty square feet?
Eighty eight note eight hundred eighty.
Square feet, which so basically here's the story with that.
So have you guys heard of Calebsimson.
He is known for going up to people in the streets spontaneously and being like, hey, excuse me how much do you pay for rents in New York City? And they'll stop and be like two thousand dollars, three thousand dollars.
So I came across his videos his Instagram exactly a year ago, about a year ago, and jokingly, I was just scrolling through his feed and I loved it, and one of my friends was like, Nikki, you should ask him on I reposted a video of his One of my friends was like, you should get him to come to your micro studio.
So I put.
Jokingly on my store, Caleb Simpson, come toward my micro studio. He responds within ten minutes saying when can I come over to do the store. I actually didn't respond for maybe twelve hours because I was like, I was kind of kidding, and I don't know if I want you coming over to my place.
And I get nervous about things like this. So I was you know who encouraged me to do it?
Right?
Anna? Oh yeah, it's typical.
Yeah, And he's like yoo, yeah.
She was literally like just you, it'll be fine. She helps me like figure out what I was going to wear on it, and everything was so funny. Anyways, long story short, he comes over and he very cool guy. Him, the guy that shot the video or whatever, come over. Very cool guys. They're literally only over for maybe twenty thirty minutes because there's not well, it's.
Just you don't have to tour it.
They about to ask you where your bed was.
Oh my goodness, So I have a which is funny because this is the most amount of I get dms left and right about my Murphy bed, which, by the way, it came completely furnished.
So not completely furnished.
I bought. Well then totally worth the bright Oh totally and there's free WiFi. Oh oh wow great?
How do you furnish eighty square feet?
Well, I do want to also say so when I was looking at it in twenty nineteen, Amy comes over.
I honestly don't know what your thoughts were. When I showed it to you.
I thought it was size she gets perfect for you.
So literally I was like, this is where I want to live. So mind you, I lived in an actual studio what you're calling it?
TJ.
Yeah, that was like, what did I call that place?
Oh my gosh, Oh my goodness.
So he lived in basically an empty you I said it was a sad divorced man's apartment. Yeah, so I right, it was your place day.
There was nothing like I used to So I consider myself a minimalist, as in, I don't own a lot of stuff this old place on the Upper east Side. Literally, dad nothing hanging on my walls, and I had a twin size bed.
I didn't even have a TV.
It was so sad.
And when you take a picture frame, Amy and an Ava came to it was that that big blizzard that happened and they came to stay at my place that one night, and anyways, it was just there's no decorations. So long story short, I lived there for ten years, you guys on the Upper east Side, and then I was just spending all my time down in the West Village with our you know, you live down there. Joan Preston lived down there. Pretty much everyone lived down there
that I was hanging out with. I was like, I'm gonna try to get downtown. Actually, so I looked at so many places, like maybe twenty places in twenty nineteen while we're training for the marathon, and then all of a sudden, this micro studio pops up on Street Easy and I'm like, this is the one.
Oh my goodness.
So I look at it and I actually got approved within like a week.
No one else, no one else, because none of it live in.
Eighty square heats except for actually a very good point. So in the sense of so I see it, it's I have to show you guys pictures.
So it's viral. Everyone check it out on callobseay. You have five million views or something, which is easy.
People like it's jaw dropping to see someone living in eighty square quakeness.
And if you read the comments there, so one moaning c you have like how many like how many plates do you have?
Lates? I have four plates, three bowls.
Yeah, I can literally tell you everything little, but I'm just a big So when I lived in Hawaii, I racked up a lot of debt, and when I got back, I was like, I got to pay off this debt, and I ended up selling a bunch of This is how I got into minimalism.
Selling.
I kept everything from college. I used to actually like be a packer. I used to keep every little thing, even receipts.
It was just so weird. So I go back to my parents' house.
I stay there before I moved to Brazil, for a few months, for maybe two months with them, and while I'm there, I actually sold everything that I wasn't using. I was like, I don't need I used to surf, I don't need three surfboards. I'm gonna sell them. Am I using these? So let me sell these? So I actually made enough money to pay off the debt I racked up in Hawaii. And it was then that I
was like, I don't need a lot of stuff. Minimalism to me is because one of the biggest comments I like left and right, so it goes either or so many people saying this is so great? How did you get into minimalism? And then there are definitely a lot of people are like, oh my gosh, you are crazy. Workers are crazy, Like why would people want to pay that much to First of all, not everyone.
Does this, like lives the way I do, but I just it was worth it to live.
I can be at your place in ten minutes, and that was I could be at Joe and Preston's place in ten minutes, like TJ I could be at your place in twenty minutes.
It's just perfect for you because you were close to your friends and like a lot of stuff anyway.
So it works.
As much as people might think it's crazy, it absolutely works for you and your personality. I want to make sure we touch on you travel the same way too. You have like I'll have like two bags, you have one backpack. We've traveled the world together. We've run marathons together. We've climbed mountains together. NICKI was with me when we somebody did kill him and Jarrow. We have obviously we've run how many.
Two marathon grown together? Okay for wow, I've wow, I've missed. I missed a couple.
We've done four marathons together. We did the challenge of doing Chicago and New York together. And so you have been amazing and you weren't even a run or to begin with, you became You actually said you would bike next to me while I ran on a run. Forward to later that year, she's running the New York City Marathon with me. So that just speaks to how when you put your mind to something and you say you can't, it's amazing what you can do. And you've been a
huge example of that. I want to ask you what your next challenge is, because you're always challenging yourself. You said you wanted to do trail running, which I think is just such a difficult thing to do because we hike and we run, but putting them together is a very difficult thing. But I'm curious because I don't even know the answer to this. What is your next big challenge? What do you want to accomplish this year?
This year?
Oh wow, I think you you nailed it. I would love to sign up for a trail race. I was supposed to do one a few months ago. I ended up not doing it, but I would love to.
Obviously did one on Staten Island. I didn't even know that was I forgot about that. That was the run in Sutn Island. Like I mean, I learned in the city from you every day.
So like New York City is like just this big playground and when you can find people that you enjoy just exploring the city with, it just makes it all the more better. And y'all are that to me, like all our cool runs that we go do you We're gonna go pick up some bean from school here in a little bit.
I'm so excited, And just little things like that.
But my big, my big next goal, I would say, would be a Trail Race, and also I would love to get back into doing another mountain. That's definitely. I don't know about this year, but I think trail Race would probably be top of the list.
For Yeah, we did cook theos Go together too, so we've done two of the seven Summits together with.
Yeah.
We Yeah, the weather, the web, it was why we climbed the comitted, the second and third highest peaks in the Alps.
And that was actually the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
That was very difficult. We were that rying, actually harder than I was bawling the entire time. Conditions were rough because we got to do two and you got to do I know, we felt like, yeah, it was pretty tough. I want to Also, there's so many I said she was a unicorn in Yoda.
You are officially now not single, But the entire time I have known you, you have been single, and you were officially single, like never had a boyfriend correct, correct until you were thirty nine years old, till I was there changed for you.
Oh my goodness.
Well honestly, so up until then, I've always been this this unicorn as you call it or whatever, I have always just like lived like my motto is played by year. I love to just go with the flow. Just what my friend group is everything to me. But it was just right time, right place, this amazing guy that I'm dating, who I know because of you, Aby, it was just the right time and the right person. Honestly, just the
right person. He's the one of the most amazing people have I just literally was just telling him this yesterday. He's one of the best souls, one of the kindest, most Jenner people you will ever meet. And we have so much fun together. We're just exploring the city together and he's very adventurous too. He loves to hike mountains. He he and I spontaneously ran a race two weeks ago. We signed up for it the day before. He did the five k and I did a half marathon.
And you need to be spontaneous to be with you. Yeah, I think that that's a big thing for me. I love just like everyone.
Tatiana was actually like, talk about play it by your Nikki, because I was telling her I was going to be on this. But you know, from the beginning, I've always been like, let's play it by her. You never know when your last day on Earth is or anything, or how even just this day will end. Let's just feel it out, let's play it by your let's go with the flow and just see you know where the wind takes us. And I've always been that way ever since I was young.
And yeah, I'm so happy for you. It's so happy to see you.
In love and with someone who I have always admired, who I've done a lot of traveling with. I climed Mount Fuji with him. Actually, so sorry, the perfect I love seeing the two of you together. It's amazing. And something else I want to point out, you actually were the only person probably who was witnessed to TJ and I.
I believe so was.
There's a lot of people who have a lot of timelines in their mind or what they think happened or what, but you know, you saw it all happen. Oh my gosh, I saw it happen. I actually, I will say this. I had one one of your loyal fans.
She literally was like, one day, you should be on the podcast, and I'd be like, ha ha, Hai would be terrible on her podcast because I'm a nervous person. But she literally wrote this the other day. Shout out to this random very kind stranger. But she was like talk about like how how how you guessed that they were together? And I this is how I guessed because I never saw you happier. I never saw you happier.
Because TJ has mentioned a couple of times, and I understand he was you know, he didn't know that you knew, but you guessed, and you you came to me and I couldn't lie.
There was you couldn't lie. There was just a new sparkle in your eye and I just knew that. And that was fall of twenty e was fall twenty two.
Yes, exactly, yep, fall of twenty right or the cameras caught us and I hate oh, I didn't say caught us right before the cameras documented something we wanted to keep private.
Absolutely, So I knew from the very beginning. I remember you calling me telling me about like, you know, all the new changes with you know, everything that was going on back in August, which you have you know, publicly talked about too. But it was until September of twenty twenty two then I was just like started to notice something.
Yeah, I just saw how much more light you were? Is that okay to say?
Just like you were just happier and in the sense of just you were like, what's going on? Yeah, I was like, tell me, tell it, Like how do I find this?
You know what I mean?
But then I just being with you guys, I've been I was just telling Chris this the other day. You guys are my family. You so being ava anna DJ oh my good, it's TJ. You guys are my family.
That's it.
And I that is at the end of the day to me, like I'm a minimalist, I don't have much, but I am rich because I have of a chosen family of want my actual family.
I'm very close to them too. To me, that is what life is.
It's it's connection, it's community, it's real deep friendship that we're talking about real life stuff with. It's not just just having fun. Yes, we can have fun, but it's deep talk. Even just before we started the podcast, we were talking about like deep talk and you're immediately You're like, you want to come pick the bean up. I'm like, yes, I do. Like that's just such an honor, you know, to be just trusted And like I recently read somewhere in one of my self help books, I love self
help books. People just want to be seen, safe and supported, and I feel like that with y'all. I know I have my community out here, and that's what makes me internally rich, is that I can live in a tiny, little micro It makes me happy because I get to see you guys every day, and that to me is joy, and.
That, to me is life. So I texted DJ scene, what is it? Scene supported?
Safe?
Scenes supported? I said, I said it wrong. I just screwed it up. But I might have.
Ours for I think you. Yeah, we were talking about that yesterday, nicky Uh, I think everyone. I'm glad everyone gets to meet you and know you because you are such a special soul. And thank you for getting over your nerves. I know that you weren't exactly you know, thrilled about performing and you're not performing. I said, you just have to talk about you, which is what Anily told you as well. And so we just we want to thank you for always being a part of our family.
You are our family. I mean TJ has said that plenty of times.
Well again, think about scenes. I'd spend more time with you, and you're more of a part of her family than many of her relatives are. So I mean, that's just the way things have gone. But yeah, it's she doesn't know life without you. So I'll say that publicly and how much I love you and adore you and thank you. I'll say that publicly, but I say it to you privately too.
Yeah, you are the sister that I've never had, and you were an aunt to my daughters.
Oh my goodness. I call them my big little sister niece.
That's what I call them, because I learned from them too, and soon that will be so being in the sense of a big little sister me or whatever, just his little sister that sounds like a new taller than me and a wiser than me more wise, definitely. But I learn a lot from them. And but thank you, guys.
Let's go to lunch.
Okay, we love you. We gotta get to being.
We gotta go to lunch.
But thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you.
Having on, I love you, guys.