Hey, that folks, it is Friday, May eighth. What does it mean to treat a lady like a princess? Well, you're going to get a very different answer if you ask men, then if you ask women. And with that, Robes, I will ask you. And as I say, well, don't everybody to this episode of Amy and TJ. Robes has been holding this from me and I'm not sure exactly what direction, uh this is going to go?
Well, this is actually so interesting. Our producer Sam Overtihart sent an article to us about the title was eleven things men see as princess treatment versus what women see as the bear minimum. And so I went and I looked at what these eleven things are and I laughed because apparently I'm a princess because you pretty much do every single one of these things.
Okay, you're a princess in a guy's eyes, in your eyes, you're just normal to a woman because these are the bare minimum.
And perhaps this is one of the many reasons is why I love you so much, because I have never this is a true statement, I have never been in a relationship or even dated someone casually who's done all of these things the way you do, so you are an exception. And it's interesting because this whole concept and this whole discussion arose from a TikTok video from last year. Okay, so a woman, she was thirty seven years old. Her name was Courtney Palmer. The New York Times did a
big article on this. She went on a video that garnered millions and millions of views and lots of reactions, saying that she is a princess, that she gets prince's treatment from her relationship. And she says, this was her quote, the kind of set people off. If I'm at a restaurant with my husband, I do not talk to the hostess, I do not open any doors, and I do not order my own food. And basically just went on to
talk about that her husband treats her like a princess. Okay, so then she started listening to all the things he says.
I think she's not using that word right, she means captive or.
Oh no, but she likes it.
I know.
Yes, some people did talk about like, I'm sorry, they're like, instead of progression, they were doing hashtag regression. But she also went on to say, and it prompted a lot of women, So there became this viral trend.
It's still going on now.
You see a husband sitting in a chair a lot of times by a pool, but outside somewhere outside, and the woman has a garden hose with a spray hose attached to it, okay, and she starts listing like things that she thinks he should do for her, and he either says bare minimum or princess treatment.
If he says princess treatment, she squirts him with the hose.
It's actually really funny, and the guys are going along with it, but they're being honest about what they think is too much to ask for. Wow, in a relationship, it's actually really really funny.
Do you want to check out the tic? There are a lot of videos. I was laughing, You're like, what are you watching?
What's the different thing with the hose? If it's princess treatment.
If he says princess treatment, you scored him with the hosts. Why because he's wrong, because it's the bare minimum? And this way at least the question though, like whatever the woman thinks she deserves, like whatever she thinks the I mean, it's been from paying for my nails and hair to you know, when you go to the store picking up a little something. You know, I'll like, you know, if
he thinks that's Prince's treatment or bare minimum. But the different things that she expects him to do, and they don't know what she's going to ask. It's really funny. But this article kind of consolidated the top eleven things that most women consider bare minimum, and it's not every woman's yes. And look, I think based on your age and your experience and where you live in the country, you might feel differently about some of these things.
But I agree with all of them.
Okay, okay, this is hilarious.
So the number one thing that they did, I don't know if it's in any order, it's just number one opening her car door.
So wait, this is Princess Street.
Nobody, No, no, babe, I'm telling you you are the first man other than my father who has consistently, repeatedly and by the way, never once missed opening my car door. I have told you about previous relationships where I've been told you think you're a feminist, then you need to go ahead and do things for yourself. So as long as you have that mindset, I'm not opening a doorway.
Wait, we have me one second? Are we This list is of things that guys actually think is princesstre correct.
Okay, I knew you would like this because you actually are on the minimum. Would you say that that is bare minimum?
You can't get barer minimum than that. The day that that is you just I've just broken up with people still get the damn door for them. No, it doesn't matter, it's the door.
And the funny thing is in this article it actually states exactly what I have been told by other men. Some men claim that since women want to be so independent, they should do things for themselves.
Okay. Is there some segment of the population of women who don't want you to open the door.
Probably, But I think always offering to or doing it like obviously, if someone tells you I can do it by myself, I don't want you to do it anymore. Then you respect what she wants. This is fascinating most women. I think the depreciation car door we are walking towards a vehicle. You go to anyone other than my father.
That is absolute insanity.
And my father does it for my mother every time.
That's okay, people raise differently. It shouldn't get too harsh on anybody else who doesn't do it.
But my god, yep, all right, number two this.
I'm scared to get through this list now.
Number two.
You don't do this one as often, but you absolutely have planning dates. That for a lot of women is a huge complaint that men do not take the time to plan dates and they basically expect the woman to kind of create the social calendar. And it is something that's considered chivalrous. I mean, as a woman to have a man say I have planned when you made reservations recently, that was so amazing, Like, we love it. I don't know that I consider that the bare minimum. But I
also don't think it's princess treatment. I think it's lovely and as wonderful as often as it can happen.
It's you know, if any fellows are listening, and if anybody wants to pass this along to their fella, this is one you would put in the category of an easy win, right. It goes a long way, it does, and it doesn't take you a lot of effort to do so. But yeah, I have you and I have such a we're together all the damn time, but we have such a routine where we look over again we know exactly where we're going on certain days at certain times. Yes,
even so, yes I will plan more. But you did light up the last You had no idea some stuff's coming and it wasn't a big deal.
It's just oh, making a reservation is like you will win points forever.
For doing that, all right? Number three getting her gas?
What do you mean? Getting her gas like.
Either pumping the gas or someone wrote that they remembered their father sometimes when she was long on gas, he would just if he saw it, would go phillip her gas tank. She'd come back the next morning and go, oh my god, he filled my tank up. Some husbands do that for their wives. And look, is that the bare minimum? Or is that princess treatment?
I guess is the question on that princess treatment? Putting gas in the car, that's doing something nice. That's almost similar to taking out the trash. There's something in Volkolk's take. I guess it's not supposed to be in these traditional roles man woman, But oftentimes the assignment of doing something dirty like that taking out the trash, it goes to the guy. Gassing up is something dirty. Women shouldn't be
out there gassing up and she certainly if you're driving me. Yeah, yeah, I've been sitting passenger in your car before we pulled up to a gas station. I did not sit in my seat.
I don't think I've ever, by the way, that has happened in my with a man and I'm driving, and I get I opened the and I'll be honest, I've looked to see, waited for a second.
Nope, not he's not gonna do it. Okay, I guess I'll do it.
I've actually had that exact experience, and you know what, I did expect it, and I was disappointed, and I was a little pissed. I'm not gonna lie. Am I perfectly capable of gassing up my own car? Yes, I'll do it all the time. But I feel like yes, so I have you have never once? You have never once, whether I'm in the passenger seat or in the driver's seat, I have never had to wait and see. You've always immediately gotten out of the car. You've pumped gas every time we've been together.
I've never seen you pump gas. So I'm not sure if you are capable.
I am sure you can ask some former partners of mine.
All right.
Number four letting her wear his coat if it's cold. Oh my gosh, you give me shit about it, but you have done it. In fact, there was that time in Vegas. You bring up at least once a week, but.
I only give you shit about it because we talked ahead of time about you possibly taking something. Now, which is this fair? Do I? When your cold and something turns and it happens, you don't have to ask. I have offered, and not offer an offer, only give you hell. When we discussed before we leave for the evening, I.
Was operating under the bare minimum expectation that you would just obviously give me your coat.
And I did, and you did. I always do.
But but the thing is, sometimes anything I was gonna wear was going to be disruptive to my cute outfit. But like wearing your guy's jacket always is a wonderful accessory.
Bro, is that case princess? The case we're talking about? Yeah, you were acting like a princess. I was.
I'll admit it that because when I knew that I might get Vegas the air conditioning it's so.
Cold, well, we were going to it.
You didn't have to wear it at all, Like we were going to a place where it was secure that all we had to do is sit it down, your whole out and your whole outfit, no problem, and you would have only had to use it in an emergency, which you did have, and which means I had to take off a garment that I had been excited about wearing for a year.
So true, It's so true, all.
Right, But do you think that, by the way, just having a woman expect that a man would do that?
Is that princess treatment or bare minimum?
Hey there, I have a jacket on and the woman standing next to me is cold. You should give that to a stranger.
Okay, very cool?
All right, this is this one's funny, and then we'll go to the breakout for this one. But this one made me laugh because I did a little bit of a deeper dive. Number five taking care of her when she is sick. Prince's treatment or bare minimum?
The how bare are can you get? Then?
That?
Yep? Okay? Well.
Psychology Today did an entire article on why marriages are more likely to end when wives get sick. It's hilarious, but they just basically said that women are considered to be the caregivers and the nurturers and so when the wife gets sick, then the other person has to start packing up duties like cooking, cleaning, and caring for her. And oftentimes they see that men just don't handle it. Well, that was a larger study, but it made me laugh.
What is it talking about? In that study? People have like more serious illness, like long term type.
It can be serious, but it also can just be, you know, something where you have like a nagging this or a nagging that that It actually can lead to the end of relationships when women get sick versus when men do.
They say, it's nothing changes.
That You're talking like a sprained ankle. If a woman is out a commission for.
A while, it might just be the final straw.
May we are her, but.
Stepping up when someone's sick, obviously, I think most people listening will agree that is bare minimum.
That is not princess treatment.
No, oh of course you Oh my god, I thought it was the other way around. Like if you were thinking about breaking up and then she gets sick, now you can't leave her because she's sick.
They get out, What am I getting out of this now? Nada? I'm out? All right?
When we come back, we have actually we have one, two, three, four, We have five more, but they're hill. We'll try to go buy quicker. But these are really funny, So stay tuned. We got five more for you. Welcome back everyone to this very fun discussion about whether or not certain expectations that most women have in relationships are really truly just the bare minimum in a relationship, or are they princess treatment?
Are we expecting too much?
Men complaining on TikTok and in some articles that we've seen that these are unwritten rules that they didn't know about and now they're having tried to try to abide by that they don't agree with.
Opening the car door is an unwritten rule.
Yeah, I think, especially younger generation. Let's write it down the different parts of the country. Yes, all right, here's a funny one number is.
Still a thing in the South, though you said generation, Are they still being some of those still?
I know my nephews, do I know?
I That can only speak through my personal experience, but I do think, oh, my goodness, down South versus up here, night and day. Okay, number six apologizing sincerely and with that is vulnerability. So I think women do have this bare minimum expectation that Yeah, your partner is going to open up to you. They're going to actually sincerely apologize, and men think, give me a break.
I said, I was sorry, Let's move on.
That's usually what you say to me. Jesus, I'm not getting the prince treatment.
All right, So both partner should do that. It's not friends or princess stuff.
This is another one that's kind of like, come on, remembering dates. Look for women, it seems to be a common complaint that their husbands forget their anniversaries.
And again, we could go ahead and reverse this one too, because there is a recent, a recent example.
Yes I remember twenty you did not, And that's okay, Yes I didn't. That's the end of the world. It happens. We have a lot of dates to keep up with between kids and anniversaries and parents and cancer versaries, and that's true a lottal So that's okay. But yeah, that almost feels like robes. I don't want to call it princess treatment. It is aspirational for a lot of men I have seen. It's something you just have to be
conscious of. You're able to do it. But man, I mean as much as we look at our phones, stop fellas right now, put the dates in your phone, give yourself a one week reminder and a two day reminder, and you should be good, yes, for the rest of your marriage.
It's true.
We have no excuses, none of us, because we can all put it into our calendars.
All right.
I know you'll like this one number eight. And again, you are the only man who I have been in a relationship with who has ever done this. But a lot of women do expect this, and some men think this is ridiculous walking on the outside of the sidewalk.
Yeah, I just I don't know any different. Yeah, I don't know any different. I don't I don't know if that do even women are? Are they aware of it?
And I was aware of it immediately.
Well, at first when you were doing it, I got confused because I'd have to switch my handbag because I didn't want to have the handbag like in between us. And you explain, I'm sorry, it's just the way my mom raised me. I walk on the outside of the street, and as soon as you said that, I swooned.
I'll be honest, But are do women, though in I don't know all parts of the country would even expect something like that or be impressed by or like that.
Or I do think.
I think in the South there is a little bit more of an expectation. I will tell you Eva interestingly, who's dating now twenty three years old, noticed when.
A guy did that and you immediately like wow.
So it wasn't that she had an expectation, but man, it was a big win in her book to have a guy do that, because it isn't necessarily standard, especially here in New York.
But I would actually.
Say, especially here in New York, it's more appreciated because of all that's going on. Think about all those buses spraying water, just the concern that something could come up on the curb. It's protective in a lot of very speech chivalrous spays.
I even see you shifting.
Look, if there's a shifty homeless man who we don't know how erratically he may be behaving, you will actually shift from the outside to that side to wherever the threat is or the perceived threat could be. You will shift where you are. And I see you doing it, and that's very sexy.
Don't think anything. It's just an automatic dude with sabine walking down the street. It's just a I don't know. It's just I don't know anything that is so that was put in me where OBEs. I guess the guy would have to train himself or remember it if you did, but I don't know any other thing to do. It feels awkward to walk.
On the other side, I love it, and I think if women listening raise their sons like this, they will be forever appreciated by the women.
Who they date.
All right, Number nine giving her flowers and this is not just about on anniversaries, but actually just showing up with flowers. There is this there is an expectation that you hope your guy is going to do this, and when they do, it's a huge win. It's just a it's a gesture. The expectation of getting them might be princess treatment.
What do you think it's a princess mindset on that one. I don't think you.
Mind a princess mindset.
You might end up being let down a little on that. I don't think most guys usually said, it's mother's day, it's birthday, and what am I missing? Anniversary?
Yes, yes, but it's so fun when it's just a Tuesday. Number ten doing chores without being asked you are like and honestly, I didn't have that expectation because I never had that experience. So when I saw you just cleaning and just doing what you do, it is amazing. Housework is a huge issue that damages relationships, and some of it is because, yeah, we do have an expectation.
I have a partner, I work too, and yet it never seems to be even close to being equal.
You are very different. You have always been just. I don't say, babe, can you take out the trash?
Babe? Could you? Could you? Could you clear the dishes? Babe? I never once have I ever asked you to do anything.
No, was that yesterday you walked by the front door and yeah, you said, where'd the trash? Cat? I was going to take that out on my way and I'd already taken it out. I don't know what I don't understand. I don't know every household works differently, But what's the expert. I don't know if how it works in another house, if one person doesn't do anything, if one person doesn't clean, why are you talking about chores? It's just cleaning up
after yourself. We all have Thank you for the space. No, No, I don't how does it work if one person refuses to help around.
Because they've never had to because their mama didn't make them that kind of a thing. But I don't think that's princess treatment at all for you to clean up without being asked. I'm telling you, babe, I have had to ask every single guy I've ever dated to do anything around the house, pretty much, even taking out the trash.
Yes, so I got a keeper, all right.
And finally paying when you go out. Look, a recent study said eighty percent of men believed they were expected to pay on dates.
So I think a.
Lot of men agree with this, but the twenty percent out there don't think they should have to. What do you Is it a princess mindset to think or to assume that the man is going to pay the bill when you go out on a date.
What does it say that we're splitting it? I don't, I actually know. I'm very curious about this. I have my way of thinking with some I guess would say is backwards. You go out on a first date and just having the expectation that the man pays. Does it matter which one asks the other out? Does that make a difference? If she asked him out. Does he have to pay if they just agreed on some dating app to is that? Wouldn't some take issue with an expectation that the man pays.
So, yes, I do, and I don't.
Look, I don't believe that there should be an expectation. I think that is princess mindset, that I'm owed this or I deserve this, but it is chivalrous and it is appreciated if the man does pay, and I do prefer that mindset. However, to expect that, I do think might be off putting.
To expect it, Yeah.
To expect it, and some people someone will say, I will not go on a second date the man doesn't pay the first and I do agree that that would maybe impact how I felt about him, if he didn't even yet or if he expected me to, especially if he asked me out.
There's no way I go. I would expect a woman to pay the split the bill.
I think they would probably expect.
Okay, is that a turn off?
Yeah?
The first date, it would definitely set me in the wrong direction, send me in the wrong direction.
Wow, this is that is not princess treatment. It's not a princess mindset either. First date, it's obvious who pays. Now, if we keep going, maybe you can alternate, Maybe you could split the next one. And what's supposed to happen is the woman at some point on date three say you know what, let me get this one. Yes, that's the way it's supposed to go.
But there are some women who don't even think that. So yeah, it's interesting.
And by the way, if you haven't checked out some of these videos, it's hilarious. We're not big TikTok people, so I don't go on there just for fun unless someone directs me there.
And I had a blast watching them, so.
Hey, feel free to try it at home with your significant other and see how it goes.
Man.
All right with that, everyone, I have a wonderful Friday. Thank you for listening. As always on Mami rot Walk alongside TJ.
Holmes. We will talk to you soon.