Hey, everybody, welcome to another episode of Amy and TJ. And we have a very special guest in the studio with us today. And if you have never in your natural life ever watched a reality show, you probably still.
Know this name.
Yes, vander Pump Rules. It was everywhere and it still is. It's been going on for eleven seasons, by the way, but season ten, this was last year. Things hit a fever pitch.
Okay, And you didn't have to be watching to know this, because the truth of the matter is you and I robes we okay, below Deck? Yes, what else are we hooked on.
When it comes to reality show ninety fiance?
That's new to us, but we just started but yes, just started it. But below Deck is the one we were really into your head.
Below Deck got us through last year.
Okay.
So I never, to be honest with you, I've never seen vander Pump Rules. I hadn't really heard of it, but for in the past several months, six months plus, it was everywhere to where I thought it was a new show.
Right, you said, what is this show called vander Pump Rules? The hashtag scanned of all was everywhere and so it kind of led people there but to go way back, as I had to explain it to you, and I think a lot of people might not know. This all began with the storied franchise The Real Housewives, and this was The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Lisa vander Pump, who was a main star in that. She took her time from there and spun off another reality show which
was called vander Pump Rules. She is a restaurant tour. This was a reality show about her staff members and who knew the drama would be what it became, and it certainly I think even surprised the show producers, everyone who was involved with it, because they had over eleven million viewers last year. That is huge for any cable streaming show.
And not just that it's a matter of look you hear it you. I mean, you could read an article a day about how the television landscape is changing and how viewership is going down on television across all genres. But to see a show that's been on now for eleven seasons to survive eleven seasons is big in the first place, but to actually be increasing your viewership, and in some cases they're getting the highest numbers they've seen over at Bravo in almost a decade. In some demos,
that tells you something is going well over there. But something's going well because something would really really bad.
Exactly. I was like, high ratings might be great for the network and for perhaps people's paychecks, it doesn't necessarily mean it was great for people's personal lives. And that's exactly the case that happened over at vander Pump Rules. But we've all been watching and we actually were able to catch up and are so excited about our next guest because he is a big player and a huge
part of what ended up being. As I mentioned before, that hashtag scanned of all, we all know him and you have probably a very strong opinion about him either way.
And that's I think that was I was saying this to you earlier a moment ago. But the reason I know about the show is because of the scandal. And I didn't, to be honest with you, I started seeing scandalval everywhere. I didn't know there was a scandal attached. I thought it was actually I said, okay, what is that. I didn't research it. I just see scandabal, scandabal, scandabal. I actually didn't know what it meant. I didn't know
what they were talking about. And his name is Tom Sandoval, kind of clever hash jack yep, give him credit for that. But yes, there was a scandal with him and his girlfriend, and people were taking sides, and they were taking signs not just okay, Tom Sandival, you're a bad guy, but people associated with him, including his business partner. They have what two restaurants together, and they have.
Two ventures together. And his name actually happens to be Tom too, so it's one of their Oh yeah, Tom, Tom is one of their businesses. Makes a lot of sense. But the other Tom, the best friend, Tom got completely sucked into this scandal because he knew about it before everyone else.
So a lot of people who are hating on Tom Sandi all, well, there was some residual height. They went to Tom Schwartz, his really really good friend. He got a lot of that blowback as well, and a lot of people had a lot to say about Tom Schwartz, and a lot of people had a lot of questions for Tom Schwartz.
We have Tom Shwarts with us. Welcome to the I Heard Studios.
Thank you for the applause, and thank you for emphasis on very special it is I heard that now?
Is that natural? You naturally threw your fist in the air when the intro came right, Yeah, that's me.
I feel good. It feels cozy in here, oh good, And hopefully it feels safe.
Very safe.
Good God, How does it feel these days after all they went through last season, which we don't have to explain to people, But when you go out and when you would go out, did you feel safe? Did you feel like people were eyeing you? Did you always feel like somebody was looking at you in a negative light?
Yeah, there was a moment there where I always felt like someone was watching me, and it felt very Truman Show esque. It wasn't nearly as bad for me as it was for Sandoval. He couldn't go anywhere without paparazzi following him, sitting outside, camped out of his house like twenty four to seven for like three months. And you know, they would follow me around every once in a while. And I have a tendency just to ramble on when someone shoves a camera in your face, because it's kind
of jarring. I'm sure you guys know, we know a little bit.
About it, just just a little bit about that. Sorry, Like I said, it's a safe space.
Yeah yeah. And I remember a few interviews like TMZ where it's like, you know, it's alarming when they shove a camera up in your face and you you it like intrinsically, you instinctually you smile awkwardly, but like even though they're talking about a serious, you know, heated topic. And I don't know, I remember just making a fool of myself a lot of the time. But uh, it was a trip. The whole thing was a trip, you know, add a very bad.
Message trip, because there actually is. I'm sure you found this out if you looked at the headlines or the pictures afterwards. There is no actual appropriate facial expression you can make because they'll make something out of whatever facial expression you're making. Yes, thank you, yes, right, yeah, it's hard to be you. Let me ask you this. People have always said this, and they still say it. There's no such thing as bad press. Do you believe that?
I think the past year has proved that saying wrong honestly, I mean, maybe good for the show, the network, good for ratings, bad for the soul, you know. I think I'll stick with that. Yeah, yeah, but I mean it did.
It did.
There was a great human cost, of course, but like it did revitalize the show and it brought on a whole new audience. You know, I've got so many people. We have two bars and Tom, Tom and Schwartz and Sandies would love to host you guys, if you're ever an.
La, we will be there.
So I would love to set you off for beers.
Yeah, still too hot around you.
We just get Yeah, do you really want us to come there? Actually, by the way, maybe we're not the appropriate We're kidding, of course we're kidding.
It's a safe place.
But uh yeah, Well I want to ask you because you mentioned something that is first and foremost on my mind. The show vendor Pump Rules was declining in viewers. It was not doing as well as it had been in the past. So a lot of people said, this scandal is bs. This scandal thing is a made up, scripted thing that isn't true, and they did it for the ratings solely.
Yeah, that's that's blowney. There's no way you could pull that off in this day and age. There would have been a whistleblower at some point, you know, someone would have went rogue and be like, this is fake, this is thrived. You know, it's a PR stunt. But the truth is, aside from me and a few other people, no one on production knew. Lisa didn't know, Ken didn't know, none of the executive producers knew.
How long had you known?
I knew, I knew, I knew, and even when I didn't know, I knew. That's my little song, I sing. I gave myself a lobotomy, and I've removed that whole chapter from my life from my memory. So I had it surgerly removed and it's just much more pleasant now.
You know, for everybody, What difference does it make? You did know? Right? You knew that he was stepping out on his girlfriend, and depends on like people want to judge you by when you knew, So why is that? Is that still not clear? Because you, like you said, it's like a you kind of faded into some way you don't really know for sure. So but and then people criticized you for that, like come on, man, so what is the definitive answer there? And why is it so important?
I honestly I did my best to reconstruct that whole storyline. But like, also it wasn't my life. I wasn't the one having an affair. And I'm telling you, I'm telling you my brain was just not functioning properly. I was under constant duress. I was in a constant state of like fight or flight. Fresh off of divorce. I almost lost my daddy was in the hospital for seven months, like he almost died four times. My brother got cancer. My other brother had was, you know, almost lost his
life because of cirrhosis. And it just I was going through it was I was absolutely just mired in my own melodrama. You know what I mean, We get it.
I mean, when you only can take so much, and especially with all that other drama going on in your life, real actual personal drama, life or death drama, it gets all muddled. Sometimes you see it in slow motion. Sometimes you can't remember. That makes perfect sense. I think to anyone who's gone through anything traumatic, let me ask you this, what how would you describe you know, you chose to put your life in front of the cameras. What has the price of fame cost you?
Hmm, Well a lot of sleepless nights. And I don't do this anymore. But like dwelling on worst case, hypothetical scenarios or like dread after it's in the can you filmed the season and you're like, oh my god, I'm going to have to relive this in front of millions of people and get absolutely roasted, castigated, just flamed on the internet, and you know, but for the most part, I have nothing but good things to say about the
whole experience. I mean, how lucky are we You get to be on a show with people you love, some of your best friends in the world, and they follow you around and the highs, the lows, everything in between. Like, overall, I just feel I'm full of gratitude. It's been such a wow. I'll ride and it's been a wave and I know one day it's gonna crash, But for now, I think we're still riding high.
Still riding high. What has where are you now compared to where you were after that season finale last year? Like, how have things have things slowed down? Calmed down? You talk about paparazzi and things like that. That's one thing, but how do you think you've settled back into your life in some way? Now?
I love that question. Yeah, I was a basket case last year for a multitude of reasons. And you know, I was like often dejected. I kind of was turning into a hermit, snuggled up in my little hermitage, which you know, at times was lovely with the dogs. Shout out to Gordo and Butters, my surrogate therapists, and my plants. Shout out to my plants, all twenty three of them.
Oh, yes, you have a lot of plants.
I have a lot of plants. But I gotta say right now, like I don't want to jinx. It is there wood in here I can knock on. But like, right now, everything feels kind of stable, and I'm smiling a lot more. I feel a little lighter on my my feet and or is it lighter on your toes?
My feet?
I think?
So didn't sound right again, But no, I feel I'm like kind of brimming with optimism again. I got levity in the system. I'm a little more like happy, go lucky Schwartz. But like also, I feel like I've matured significantly just with the stuff I've dealt with the past few years. You know, I had a little bit of a well some would say boyish charm, others might say Peter pant syndrome. Whish I take offense to or.
I'm very mature and I thank you no, but I felt.
That over here by the way in the corner here, yes, getting there. You mentioned the dogs and and and the plants. Did you seek professional help? Have you been helped by a professional through some of these times? I?
Uh no, I've just referring to my surrogate therapists, like you know, snowboarding reading. Uh, Cody from Peloton's always there for me, Lorie's there. My manager Ryan, he was mad at and give him a shout out last time, Ryan Ravell, thank you for consoling me. And in times of need.
We're gonna edit that out just to piss him.
I love that, Honestly, I have gotten.
I've gotten therapy before and and I think for the most part, uh, it was great. You know. I signed up for Better betterhelp dot com and I actually put my down payment, but I never actually moved forward with the sessions.
But it's there just in case.
Thank you. But I am an advocate for seeking council therapy, life coaches. I love reading you know, motivational book big on stoicism lately, Yeah, I like the Daily Stoic You guys. But it's a good way to start your day. Yeah, I will check that out.
You know, people oftentimes say that these types of shows are especially if they're portrayed in a negative way. They're edited a certain way to make people feel a certain way about certain people. Did that happen? And what do you think people got wrong when they watched the season? What do they get wrong about you?
It's such a cop out to cry editing, Like it's almost like it's a big no no in our world. Don't cry editing. Just take ownership, radical accountability, whatever you want to call it. But yes, there's times where I'm like, wait, hold on a sack, did I is that the way that went down?
Exactly?
And by the way, shout out to our whole production team behind the scenes, our editor it's like a masterclass in editing. Our editors absolutely crush it. But yeah, there's times where I'm just like, man, did it really go down just like that? But I gotta say our show stays pretty true to form. It's organic, it's authentic, and yeah that's something I'm proud of and sometimes like great
cost to my sanity. But there's very few moments where I've ever felt like contrived or forced, or like we were phoning it in or performing, you know, and that's a testament to everybody on the cast.
Help us with the schedule there a little bit, like let's say you were shooting today, right cruise with you. Everything's being shot, how long before? What was shot on this day before it actually hit the air? What was that lifetime?
We usually film in the summer, sometimes around like May or June, and we'll film for like three months principal photography, which is always a rush, and then you know, we'll do pickups, we'll do talking head like confessionals, you know, and by the way, which is like torture for me, just having to listen to myself talk for like two point five hours in a dank little room anyways, and then you know, usually turn around is like another two or three months from then.
Okay, so yeah, you're talking some stuff you end up seeing in an episode with some something that went down month ago.
Yeah, almost, yes, And you know, sometimes sometimes your memory gets a little cloudy with you know, I'll call consumption or other things and stuff like that, and then you're like you're watching and you're just like, oh my god, the shame the.
Deep sense of shame you feel, Oh God, but you've been through it enough and you know how this how it works. But have you gotten close to quitting the show?
You know? I think season three where I was in this weird kind of a big us phase where I was kind of recognizable. I won't say famous, but like I was still working my regular jobs, going on castings for print, commercial work, bartending, catering, all that stuff, and like people. It was weird because I wasn't really getting paid, but I was recognizable.
And I think season three, I sat.
Down with my manager and he's like, what do you want to do here? I think you should either go all in or just you know, walk away and pursue acting and everything. And I was like, Okay, let's do it. I saw so many good things happening for my friends and great opportunities coming their way, so I was like, screw it, I'm gonna go all in. And I haven't looked back since, but for sure in the beginning, uh yeah, man, there was still like a stigma attached to it back
in the day, like it started in twenty eleven. And in my mind, if you did a reality TV show like your Dreams of being an actor. Were kind of jeopardized compromised, right, I don't know. But now it's like, I mean, reality TV people are like, I'm not saying I'm an A list or maybe B minus.
C plus would they they call y'all bravoleberties. Is that what it is that I say it?
Right?
Yeah, you said it right, Bravo celeberties. What's been the financial impact for you of Scandalval? You say, you look back and you're happy, you've done what you've done and all in you're you're happy to be a reality TV show star. But you got two businesses right associated with Tom Sandoval. How are they doing? Because I was looking up it's like they're saying, your moments from closure, Tom, Tom, and so give us the status of where you are with your businesses.
Well, it's kind of harrowing. It's like, you know, when you have a business with your name on the side and someone does something shitty, it's like people can apply pressure, and they did. Yes, we kind of got docs. It's like, I mean, I have no I don't have any bitterness in my tone when I say this, because I want to see everybody succeed, even people that I'm not super tight with you know, I want everybody to eat.
And eat they did. People got fat.
And happy off of that whole affair. You know a lot of people blew up their podcasts merch. Yeah, man, a lot of people got fat and happy. Me not so much. It's like, you know, you got your name plaster on the side with the guy who had the you know, did the thing. I'm sorry, I just can't even say the word anymore. This you know what of all word.
But it's tiring, right.
It was brutal, I gotta be honest. It was absolutely brutal. And yeah, I saw like a dark side of humanity, like it got ugly. Without going into specifics, like it got ugly, you know, there was there was times where I was legitimately nervous about going into Schwarts and Sandy's maybe like watered down vague threats. I don't know about death threats, but like, you know, people threatening to come in and like I didn't want to say it.
But folks wishing you physical harm. Yes, harm.
Yes, it was scary and sometimes odd and sometimes hilarious. But it was scary, man. But looking back, uh, I'm just processing it now. I'm finally at a place where I feel uh yeah, Like I said earlier, I feel optimistic again. We're giving the bar a revamp. We just install the new sound system, we got new drinks, new food, and it's like Schwartz and Sandy's two point oh and I feel good. Yeah, I feel like we have momentum again and it's incredibly refreshing.
People have suggested you change the name. Did you ever think about it?
Oh? Yeah, I mean I never Sorry, Tom, if you ever hear this. I never liked the name from the get go, but I didn't have a better suggestion, so I was like, all right, that's just college shorts and Sandy's I don't care.
I wish you put some thought into it. Now.
I remember having that exact conversation. I'm like, you know, you put your name on the side. You know you have to hold yourself to a higher standard. What if people like joking? I remember saying, what if people decide they hate us and like us laughing over a beer, Come on, people love us.
That's never gonna happen until they don't.
I know that was an actual conversation we had in the honeymoon phase of opening a bar restaurant, Which does not last long. I don't care how much you love that business, passionate you are about food, drinks, customer service, like that honeymoon phase does not last long.
We talked about there what happened with the with your businesses, but she mentioned like opportunity. You talk about other people they got fat, right, even people who printed T shirts were stalling on the street. They were making money off of what was happening. But was there any opportunity that did anything that came your way as a result.
I actually I got to go to Mars.
Oh yeah, he did a show.
I did a show called Stars on Mars, and I don't know if it was because of I mean, we had a lot of eyes on us. And you know, I got to go there in Australia and it was lovely. You know, I got to wake up next to like Lance Armstrong, Richard Sherman, Adam Rapond. It was cool. It was such a trip and I needed that as one of the best reprieves of my life. And it was magical. I'm very, very fond of that trip. I wish I
wouldn't have been such a Debbie downer on it. You know, It's like because I felt like our business was kind of like floundering, and I felt like I I kind of abandoned ship when they needed me the most. But also I didn't want to miss out on the opportunity to film a show in Australia, go to Mars. It was awesome. So yeah, I guess, and yeah, that was that was something special. I'm very grateful for that opportunity. It was cool.
What is the status of your friendship with Sandoval? Now?
I think we are officially off of our break. Now we're cool. We're cool. We've had so many healthy, productive conversations and uh, for better or for worse, I love that bastard. And he's actually, despite you know, what he did recently and what you see in the headlines, he's a really good person. I swear he's got a he's got a hell of a heart and uh, you know, he's been a great friend to me.
Helpless most of the time. Yeah, helpless with that you called it. You call him a bastard because of what America knows he did or is there a bastard because of things that happened with you all and you were personal and your friendship I was.
Just a term of endearment. I was just being kind of like cheeky. He's he just he just brought a lot of stress into my life with his actions and some of his very questionable choices.
You said a break, like, what what take me to the past few months and after everything? What happened to you all's friendship? Was there are times where you all weren't talking at all and then tried to mend it did you did you make a concerted effort to hey, we need to make sure not just as business partners, but as friends take us through kind of that evolution of your relationship since the scandal.
Yeah, I had to take a break. I had to distance myself because, like I said, my life truly got absolutely consumed by someone else's affair and it was insane and it was detrimental to the business, and you know, some of the other projects we were working on and we had to put on hold and it just sucked. Can I just say that, Yeah, it just kind of sucked.
And he totally understood. I had to take a break, and because it's like I swear at one point and I was like I started having an identity crisis, you know, I look in the mirror and I'm like, oh my god, am i Tom's end of all? What happened to Tom Schwartz? But uh, yeah, it was. It was a much needed hiatus for mister Sandoval. And you know, we had some very healthy we kind of did like our own a couple of therapy sessions, you know, without a therapist, but
we had a lot of healthy, solid, productive conversations. And I think we're in a good place though. We're in a great place where we have we have synchronicity again and we're communicating clearly, respectfully, and yeah, I think we got our Tom.
Tom Tom. Tom. You you obviously when when something like this happens, you you saw the fracture of the friendships. People take sides and you were teamed up with with the other Tom right as they say, what is the status of your friendship with the other cast members and how have you repaired those relationships?
Yeah, you'll see that kind of play out in this season, especially the next few episodes. But yeah, that was the first time that I had really ever been an outcast in my life. It was not a nice feeling, kind of like a prie you know, I felt like strange from the group. For the first time ever. But I put a lot of work into rebuilding and repairing those friendships, and I feel like I'm in a really good place with everybody. Sheena, Katie, La La. Maybe not so much, Ariana.
But are you trying to get closer to Arion?
Very respectfully? She's so busy right now. I mean she's literally on Broadway. She's probably performing tonight. She's killing it. So she's so busy. I haven't even seen her lately, but I'm very happy for her.
You want to see her in the show. Have you seen the show?
I would love to see the show. Yeah, I can't this trip, but next time I come back, if it's still running, I want to us.
Have you guys seen it?
Well, shall we go see it?
Yeah, let's do it.
I have to watch what Happens Live tonight, but I would love that. I want to go. Anyways, I'm hype for her, and yeah, we'll get there.
Maybe it sounds like that's still going to take some time. Your relationship with Tom though, one of the first things that jumped out at me when and again this has to do with editing, possibly, so I'll let give you a chance. But when you all first when he first came to you after the affair was revealed in that episode, and he comes in and one of the first things on your mind, and I think it's fair was business like, Look, dude, we need to stop this bleeding. We have a business
to run. Do you look back at that, and some might have seen that as wait, this is your friend. You need to take care of that on a personal level before professional When you go back and look at that, or tell us more about that moment of how did you separate or how did you deal with trying to be a business partner. A lot of people you're responsible to, including employees, and this is my guy, have his friend and he's in trouble.
I think I'll give myself a little pat on the back. I think I did a pretty good job compartmentalizing because I was. I was there for him even though I had taken a break. You know, sometimes a few times he hit me up and he really needed me, and I was always there for him. I didn't cut him off completely, but you know I was always there if he needed a shoulder to cry on. Well, not for like three months.
I did take a three month break, a hard break builder. He'll be available later, yes, in a few months.
Yes, but I was really upset because it's not just the money, you know, it's like big money. We put a lot of money in there, and he jeopardized my you know, half million dollar whatever it was investment, and not just that, but the time and energy and the sacrifices I made in my life to get that place open. And then all of a sudden, you know that some choices he made in his personal life had a very adverse impact on our business. And I couldn't help but be paid. That was my you know, that was my
first like Tom, Tom, we're minority stakeholders. I'm so proud of that. But like, this was our baby, our business baby, and we had just given birth to this beautiful baby.
It's not coming out right, the words aren't coming out.
We're following.
This beautiful business baby. And yeah, it was hard. Like just his face, this this this dude that I love, one of my dearest friends in the world. Like his face became synonymous with everything that went wrong, at least in my mind that's the way I was thinking about it, everything that went wrong in our business. And so it was hard. It was hard to look him in the eyes that first time when we sat down. You know,
but you know, I'm pretty damn quick to forgive. I think people know that about me, and maybe I try to see the best that everyone to a fault, mister, give them the benefit of the doubt. I love I love getting in there, and you know, I love nuance. I like hearing where people's heads are at when they do stupid shit. I don't like making snap judgments, although once in a while, recently watching The Bachelor, I've made a lot of snap judgments.
You saw it from the other side, yes.
But yeah, I mean, I know Tom is a good dude. I hope. I think I'm not gonna say he's gonna get redemption. I know a lot of people have written him off, but I I think as time goes on, you know, he's gonna get some of his humanity reinstilled. And uh, I know a lot of people have been coming into the bars late and then they're like, Schwartz, can I like pull you aside like a little confessional.
They're like, I wanted to murder your friend. I don't know why, but it's just like something about what he did reminded me of a very dark chapter in my life when someone I loved cheated on me and and I just wanted to apologize because I kind of wanted
to murder you too. And it's like, but I think also, like I hate the term silver lining, but like so many people have come into like the bars, Tom Toms orts insand he's and just online, and like I was in a similar situation and low key, high key this incident with sand of all caused me to step up, have the uncomfortable conversation and prevented an affair. So I think, I don't know if I get trouble for I feel like it, I feel like whatever. I'm not calling it
that anymore. The incident, it honestly prevented possibly hundreds of thousands of affairs.
I mean it's a cautionary tale. It's a cautionary tale for sure, right, I mean that is the way it is. Were you surprised that Tom and Raquel Rachel? Which one did she go by? She's Rachel? Now? Were you surprised that they didn't make it?
Honestly, I was very surprised. Do you think some are do you think some are in a parallel universe? They have a podcast together and they made it.
I'm just kidding.
I was surprised by what you're saying. I was surprised that they given all that happened and what they were willing to sacrifice at least and hiding behind the back of the show in America. Essentially, I was surprised if you're going to put that much effort in. I was surprised to hear that they didn't work out.
A shocked the shock of a lifetime. And I don't even say that lightly was because I really thought, like I mean, they risked at all. They burned their lives down for love or lust, whatever you want to call. It makes people do stupid things.
What do you think it was? Do you think it was lover lust?
I think it was lust under the cloak of.
Love because there was friendship there.
I think they really did at one point love each other. I mean, listen, from what I saw, they deeply cared about each other and we're in love. That's from my perspective. You know, I don't know how they feel about it in hindsight. Retroactively, I think they have a much different take on it, and I think it's sort of I think they're both kind of referring it to more as an addiction or a lust or a mistake of epic proportions.
But you know, at one point, yeah, man, they were It feels twisted to say this, but they were really deeply in love. I think, yeah, yeah, deeply.
Wow.
I'm curious how this has impacted you. I mean, you've been through a divorce and you're still friends with Katie, right, your ex?
I think, so, Hi, Katie, we're cool.
We're cool.
We still have joint custody of the dogs, and we had thirteen years together and we hit a rough patch there for about a year. But yeah, I still care about her so much. I still love Katie and I'm always rooting her, rooting for from the sidelines, and uh yeah, I'd love to see her happy out there doing her thing. But we're cool.
How has all of this affected your willingness, your just how you approach relationships or finding your person. Just having gone through all of this.
For the first time in my life, I'm doing something crazy. I'm setting boundaries. Wow, you guys, this is not a safe place for your sins. Okay, Please do not come to me and confess anything I don't want to know.
Don't tell me.
Yes, no, but no, I, uh yeah, honestly, I don't know.
Man, are you looking for the one?
Whoa? Okay, I'm not not looking. I'm not looking, but it seems to always find.
Me the one the ones?
I mean, can I just say I'm super happy right now? Well, I don't know if I'm I don't think I'm single.
You don't, I see. I thought I took it the other way that he might have found okay, but.
Then he said I'm super single?
What was he super happy?
I'm super happy.
I'm just happily hanging out and he's not super single.
You're not super single. You're in a relationship now.
I don't know, man, are you unless you're dating one of these two? Why are you looking over here?
I like somebody, you like somebody, but you're dating somebody? Is that fair? Whoa?
Whoa? No, you can't just throw out the D word.
Oh okay, I.
Think that has you know, But I mean, yeah, I'm happy.
I'm happy.
Should we go through like, well, what are your folks returning to over here?
Like?
You say different things on different podcasts. What have you said in the previous one about your relationships.
That I'm going to redirect? I never thought I would be single at this age. It it sucks.
So you are single?
No, Like on Facebook, what's your relationship status?
Oh, that's a good one, not even in its complete I guess if I had to pick, I would say happily hanging. It's a new one.
That's not no.
But there's somebody I dig for sure, But she's like super private, so I don't want to.
That's fair given that she's dating this world.
That's all you had to Now, we got totally get it. We respect those boundaries, and we want to make sure you're not in trouble with the answers you gave here because you just now it makes sense. It's okay to want privacy.
There's somebody I hang out with and really.
Like, yeah, and she doesn't want anybody to know she has anything to do with you.
Yeah, for sure.
Is a shame to me. She's like, all right, yes we can hang, but don't you tell anybody? Yeah, And I was like, okay, deal, that's fair. That makes me like her, right, she gets it. How's your family handled all this? You mentioned what you were going through personally with all this happening, but you know this type of thing doesn't happen to just you. It happens to everyone who loves you.
How are they doing there?
It feels good to say that everybody's stable right now. Actually, I just talked to my dad before I came in here, and he's going in for blood blood clot surgery, which is always scary. He's got blood clot surgery. Today's three blood clots, I think, but they said it should be a walk in the park. The doctor reassured him, you know, he should be out of there within four hours. So I'm nervously anticipating that call from him to make sure he's okay, because I have, like we all have a
little bit of PTSD. It's like he was in there for the yes, in the hospital for seven months. He was emaciated. At one point, he was intubated. He couldn't do anything, you know, couldn't get up, go to the bathroom. It's rough seeing someone that you love, your hero, you know, like you know your dad just completely. But that's not really a verb, just a vegetable just turned into essentially
a vegetable. You know. That was hard, really hard. It wenth heavy on the whole family, and it was in like four different hospitals and listen, I know this is everyone goes to something like this at some point. I just I had a pretty cushy, light up, pretty cushy, cushy life up into the last few years, and it came at me quick, kicked my ass. But I do feel better, better equipped to deal with adversity when it comes my way next time, for sure.
And it's coming. Oh, it's just from someone who knows life. No, it's just life keeps coming. It's just how equipped we are to deal with what's coming. It's never gonna stop. So there'll be a next big thing, and a next big thing, and a next big thing, hopefully nothing that was big before you. Again, you mentioned there a few
things here before we wrap up with you. What do you think about that term scandabal You said you didn't want to anymore, so I kind of understand, but just that it flows so easily in the social media age. But what do you think?
Yes, yeah, just hearing it literally triggers some sort of PTSD. I'm only half joking because that that dang word was like reverberating around my mind for like six months, haunting me, and I don't know, I feel like, oh, I feel like the stench of that word is no longer lingering. Did you guys smell it when I walked in?
No? No, not at all anything, But it didn't come.
I mean yeah, yeah, I mean I know I joke inappropriately, inappropriately about that often sometimes just when I'm nervous or whatever.
But you know what, though, humor is is healing. I mean, I've been through cancer, and cancer humor works like when you go through stuff, humor gets you through it. So I get it. I get that humor.
I've never heard that one humor gets you through it.
I like that, it really does.
I you know, I would rather laugh than cry. Usually ends up being both, but laugh now, cry later.
What have you learned through all of this?
Let's see. You know, people, h if you're unhappy in your your relationship and you're falling out of love, you know, have that have that hard to have conversation and I don't know, man affairs just seem like, uh stressful, it's very stressful. And uh, I've learned to be better at setting boundaries with people, you know what I mean? I Uh, It's not like I get walked all over or anything
like that. But I think I'm too accommodating, honestly, and like I got a reading from Ali James's girlfriend and she's like, you are a hardcore Libra and a hardcore people pleaser. I'm not like being in a strong year anything, but I was just like I got a chill with the pleasing of other people, and yeah, I'm just trying to fall in love with myself all over again right now.
Yeah, give us last thing, Just give us one thing this season. I know there expectations, people expect a certain level of drama, but tease one thing that everybody that loves this show, you just hold on and wait because what's coming.
This this vacation, our getaway to Lake Tahoe. I feel like I feel like it was transformative and I feel like it's a really nice reset for not just us as friends cast, but also for the audience too. And I feel like from there on, I think the show kind of takes a pleasant turn. Wow, not that there's still not a ton of drama and everything, but like it's just I feel like it's just a little more happy, go lucky, you know, and very very heartfelt. Raw.
I want to believe that people root for friendships, they for love and so we're rooting for you and we can't wait to watch and see things just get better.
Thank you, guys. This has been so nice. Really, I appreciate it.
And it's something when you hear so much about somebody and then they walk into the room. It's just that luckily we've we we can't imagine what you did have to go through. But good luck to you in the future, and we'll go to the show with you and we'll come to.
You yes to do that. You have a beautiful energy, by the way, like a beautiful energy.
I felt like I lost my aura of the past two years, and I think it's kind of coming back.
It's back.
It's back.
Thank you guys for the warm welcome and this has been awesome.
This is great, all right, Well, appreciate you, Tom Schwartz. We will see plenty more from you. And for folks who want to keep listening to us, of course, you can catch Amy and TJ on Instagram at the Amy and TJ Podcast. You can find us all on Instagram and TikTok on our individual accounts. But thank you so much. And I'd never said vander plump.
Yeah, he kept saying vander plump instead of Vander Pump. I was like, no, it's vander Pump. Yea like the Rose.
My dad used to say, Vander Camp, Dad, you on that Vander Camp him tonight. I'm like, and are pumped and a pump? All right?
Thank you brother, Thank you so much.
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