Hey, folks.
In this episode, Matt James announced his breakup with Rachel Kirconnell in a forty nine word Instagram post. She has now responded and with a whole lot more than forty nine words and with that, welcome to Amy and TJ. More than forty nine words robes And I was not about to count how many she actually said, because she did this. Her response was in a one and a half hour interview.
Yeah, it took a while to get through and it was hard to listen to in a lot of moments, but yes, Rachel Kirkconnell decided to go to the Call Her Daddy podcast. She spoke at length about the breakup with Matt, and there were definitely some surprises in there. There were some shockers, some head scratchers, and there is a lot in there that anyone who is in a relationship or who has ever been in a relationship, and
especially if that relationship ended. Yeah, you can relate to a lot of the things that she talks about, and we're going to get into all of it, but we wanted to go through a list of some of the things we learned and what specifically stood out to us.
Yes, So the headlines here. Yes, she confirmed they broke up while on a trip to Japan together and he actually broke up with her. She says the morning she was slated to lee, they weren't taking the same flight back she was leaving that morning, broke up and then sent her on her way to the airport. Is how she describes it. Also, according to Rachel, everything had been fined the day before the breakup. She says he did not give her heads up before he announced they're split on social media.
Yeah, she talked about how there wasn't some big argument or some big fight. They just she had been grumpy and perhaps he was two and they just were irritated with each other. That's kind of what she had said. But she said he did not give her a heads up when she left for the airport. She had no idea that he was going to make any kind of an announcement on social media about her split. And she said break up post that he posted that we all
saw about six am on January sixteenth. She said that that came just about two hours after he broke up with her, And so she says she was already blindsided. She was already shocked and then was actually seated on the plane when she was alerted to the social media post.
She also said he actually apologized later for the post. Another headline, there's nothing to the rumors of infidelity. Also, she does not think there is any chance they'll get back together. There was just a few of the headlines. Again, this was an hour and thirty minute plus interviews, so a lot of stuff jumped out. No, most people won't probably take the time to listen. You'll read a lot of headlines, So we're trying to get through some of those for you with a little more perspective than a
lot of what we've already seen out there. And look, the initial reaction rose. These two have been together for four plus years, got together on The Bachelor back in twenty twenty one. During that season, he was the first black bachelor. They had controversy and whatnot in their season. But still this came as a shocker to everybody that they broke up. Seems like it came to it as a shock to her too, But I was also shocked that she came out did an hour and a half interview.
Yeah, there are a lot of things that are puzzling, and look, it's one of those things where they started out their relationship in a very public way on a reality show, and so they've been a public couple the entire time, and a big part of what Matt does for a living he's a food influencer, is going places with Rachel and showing these fun, cute videos of them having a blast at dinner. In fact, that was the
other thing that was puzzling to so many people. He had posted twelve hours earlier before the breakup post them having fun in London, which is where they were right before they went to Tokyo and eating pizza and laughing and joking. So everything seemed fine. So we were all blind sided. And then Rachel now says that she was too, And I think that was one of the big headlines because she claims she didn't see it coming. She claims
he had asked her to start looking at rings. She thought they were headed to marriage and having babies and picking out a wedding dress. So she very much, and you could see and hear in her voice there was real genuine emotion and you can tell she's she's still in shock.
It's possible he's in shock as well, because she said it so herself during this interview that she does not believe he planned to break up with her either. She does not believe if we go through with the breakup details here and you were talking about they were had been in London, decided to fly to Tokyo, decided to go to Japan, they said, had travel vouchers say hey, we need to use these before the end of the year.
That's really how this all came about. So they're hanging out there and look, she said, they've been together for three weeks pretty much, traveling and people start to get on your nerves.
We don't have that issue, thank.
God, thank god, because we're together every single moment of every single day.
So we have problems. That ain't one of them.
But she said, look, we were on edge a little bit. So they're hanging out and there's one night there in that started all. This is the night before the breakup, she claimed that.
She and she says, it's on our period, it's on my period.
I was having a rough few hours. I was emotional.
All these things were going I was trying to she felt the pressure of finding a right restaurant. All has happened. They go and sure enow, she says, she starts crying at dinner. Now, any guy, any anybody out there who has been around enough women in your life, sometimes you go to a dinner and tears start falling.
You actually don't know why.
And so many women can relate because we have all of these emotions that we are embarrassed or maybe don't want to share because we know maybe they are irrational because we are on our periods or whatever. But sometimes you can't help how you feel and you're trying not to react in a certain way. So there was a lot of silence at the dinner, she said, they didn't really speak well.
As crazy as that sound, we were talking about a breakup of a relationship We've watched for four years. You and I have watched up close, because that is someone I can send her a close friend of mine. He is a guy, and this is a relationship that has now ended because because as I hear it, it's a couple of tears. She said, it was one or two,
That's how she described it. It's set off a whole chain of events that I think a lot of men and women can relate to in that moment, to where we as as a man looking you think, what's wrong. You think what did I do? You think what can I help? And then you hear some of the reasons of the logic and the explanation from a woman which is oftentimes she can't explain herself, and the reaction from a guy, which is not a right one, like what the fuck?
And do I want to spend my life with someone who was emotional like this?
Don't want to go that far?
Okay, okay, but you look and you think, like, what the is wrong? We can't reason through that? And she says that set off a whole chain of events that has us talking about this.
Now. Yeah, they did eventually talk when they got back to the hotel room, and you know, there had always been and there is, and there was this public pressure for them to get engaged. He talked about it, and he was dragging his feet about it. And I think when you have a conversation or you have maybe even a motion that feels uncomfortable, and it's maybe not the
first time this has happened. They started talking about where they were headed and what they were doing, and she claims he said to her, you know, I'm not sure that I'm ready to get married, and I don't want you to waste any more time with me. I can't give you what you want. I'm not sure you're the person I want to have as my wife.
He said all this to her. After going to bed that night, she said everything was fine. She actually said we were chill, we were okay. Yes, we didn't talk a lot, but she went to bed that night not thinking her relationship was on the rocks, and sure enough the next morning, as you described now, isn't that what everybody wants to hear? I guess what we're talking about now. We haven't gotten into the point that she's so upset
with Matt yet. I think some on the outside and I wrote down when you said it dragging his feet. We're going to get back to that in a second. But her problem with him is not necessarily that he was dragging his feet quote unquote, but what happened when he put out a post that didn't give her a heads up about what was coming that the breakup. Announcing the breakup was not something they decided to do together,
and she's taking issue with that. If a guy says to you, hey, I'm sorry, I don't want to waste any more of your time, and I think we need to break up. I have on more than one occasion done that exact same thing. And do they someone appreciated, Yes, you want to know sooner than later. But the criticism you've seem more publicly than I have. But the criticism there is some criticism for that particular thing, is there not?
Oh, there's a huge amount of criticism over that, because you know, give it a beat. And I really and he has apologized for it to only take two hours. And also to know she was getting on a plane and she said, this is a problem she's had and Matt knew about it. For whatever reason, her iPhone doesn't connect with plane WiFi, so maybe he thought she had already gotten She had gotten on the plane, but she got a heads up from a friend who texted her
and said basically referring to his post. And Rachel was like, what do you How does anyone know that we just broke up? How would my friend know that we just broke up? And so right as her plane was taxiing, she sees the post and then for twelve hours she had no way to communicate with anyone or to see what was happening. And that had to be really awful. I think a lot of people are putting themselves in
her shoes and imagining how awful that is. Maybe Matt didn't know that would have happened, didn't realize, But to do that without giving her a text a heads up, Hey do you mind if I post this? Or I really want this to be on the record at this point, I want to be transparent, just to at least have let her know what was happening, I think, to not tell her to do it, and for her not to have the time to tell her friends, her family, let alone process it. I get why people are upset for her about that.
She said it was two to three hours after she found out that she the man that she planned to marry and have kids with. She just found out that was over, and then the world knew it before she could process it.
That's that's tough.
That's tough, and I think that this may This is where my head goes to. You're thinking, you know, yes, you broke up, and people break up and get back together. People say things sometimes when they're upset, tired, they've been traveling, they were on each other's nerves, and then twenty four hours later think, you know what, actually you know, can we talk more about this? It just he put a finality to it that maybe she needed more time to get to You know, people say things in the heat
of the moment. People say things, and then you decide a day later, two days later, a week later, that maybe that isn't what you want. And I'm not saying that would have been the case, but I think that also is a part of it that really cemented the breakup.
And I don't know, and I'll say here, I haven't had a chance to talk to Matt yet. I understand where, maybe understand more than most where Matt might be when it comes to dealing with this publicly and why he might be a little quiet, might be in hiding and doesn't want to say a whole lot. But I can only imagine what he's going through now. Nobody wants to hear or think about his side of the story and what he may have been going through. But it's a
matter I can't imagine. We know this guy pretty well where his head was to do it so quickly. According to her, they have talked since he did apologize and say he didn't handle that well. Okay, that makes sense, but what at the same time, we know this is a woman he planned to marry. This is a woman he saw himself having kids with. This is a woman that he went through a public trauma with and fighting
for their relationship. Remember they broke up right after The Bachelor because of all that back and forth with her in the controversy. So to see them overcome and be together, I think a lot of people were rooting for them. But she said in that conversation when they decided they they decided they were going to go their separate ways. It wasn't just him saying no, but she acknowledged a well, and they decided according to her, but it was a matter of go ahead.
You think she she didn't want this breakup. She wanted to marry him.
Yes.
I think when she heard him say you're not the person who I think I want as my wife, then she basically just acquiesced and said, Okay, I mean, what else do you say? So I don't feel like they broke up together or that they decided together he broke up with her and she accepted it.
See I yes, to.
Your point in what you're saying, I say he wanted to marry her too. He wanted to marry this woman. Somebody comes to realization, how many times have you a relationship or everybody has You've ended a relationship with somebody then you didn't want it to end, but you knew it needed to, or you knew it was the right thing to do.
I am.
And again, this will come off as just defending Matt, and I will defend Matt. But I can defend Matt without shitting on Rachel. I can defend him and have my heart go out to him without taking any way anything away from her experience. And if Matt was in front of me right now, I said, damn, bro, what were you thinking with that post?
Why did you give it a beat? And he might have an answer. I'm like, Okay, I get it.
That was a tough thing to do. So for him to come to a realization that hey, I don't want to waste any more of your time and I'm not going to be able to go through with this, she where's the quote here? He said that maybe one day he would get there, but he doesn't feel ready now. And I told him, well, after four years, you should know or you should feel ready, and if you don't,
that's a good thing. We probably should be together. If you don't feel like that after four years, And let me get that right, she said, we probably shouldn't be together if you don't feel like that after four years, because you know me better than anyone. I know you better than anyone, so you should know by now if you see this for the long haul or not. To your point, yes, she didn't say, hey, we need to break up, but after hearing him she said, yep, I
can't be with you anymore. After hearing him say that, she seems to understand. But yes, to your part, he initiated, and we're always looking for somebody to hold responsible in these things, right, somebody's got to be somebody's fault, so it has to be Matt's fault. And I think she did a lot to try to take some heat off of him.
At the end of this.
Interview, she loves him and I think he loves her, and that doesn't mean that you're meant to be together, which is really hard to accept sometimes. But I agree with you that I think one of the saddest things about any kind of public breakup, but will specifically talk about this one, is that everyone wants to take sides, and isn't that always the problem. Can we not feel for them both, send love to them both, and acknowledge that they are both hurting and we're both trying to
follow their hearts and protect the others. And yeah, they both made mistakes. They both made mistakes. He shouldn't have posted that without discussing it with her first. I firmly believe that, and she probably shouldn't have gone on a podcast giving every detail. But I think he was trying to be transparent and she was trying to set the record straight. So I think they might have both had good intentions, but now it's gotten messy.
She spoke about this idea that he did feel pressure. He felt She said there was a weight on him about the relationship, and I again only our opinions here that that had to play into him. He almost feels like there is a responsibility to the public as well to let people.
Into your lives so much.
We do it so often, we live these public lives, so then when something happens in your personal life, well how many times we criticize. I'm like, damn, dude, we didn't need to know that it's this thing that I have to feed the public. They need to know they've been on an almost obligation, like you.
Guys have supported me.
I'm sorry, but I gotta let you know, almost like family members. I get but two to three hours hearing her describe just not getting the heads up matt oh brother, that was a that was a tough one. I need to hear from him what he was thinking. And I'm not even after I hear it, I might understand it a little better. It's hard to see why not giving the heads up, say hey, Rachel, I'm gonna do this. You don't have a choice in me posting it, but I just want to give you a heads up.
Even that would have been better.
That would have been better because she could have at least told her family, hey, you're about to see something break, and I'll tell you when I'm getting on a plane. Is she just she was stuck. She had she had no one to turn to, no one to lean on, and that's tough for that. I cannot imagine what that plan ride was like for her. But I want to say this, when you're a public couple, you're damned if
you do and you're damned if you don't. Because we learned that not speaking about what's going on can be just as messy, if not more messy. But yes, it'd be great if Matt and Rachel could have had a strategy. But my god, it's personal, it's emotional, it is private, and it's the last thing you want to do is discuss how to deal with your breakup publicly when you're still in shock, you're in mourning, you're emotional. There's so much pain, there's so much loss.
But the other side of that is I gave you everything when things were great, right, you feed me, You've taught me to come into your life. When you got this plan, you're going here, I'm on this trip, But now you don't. I mean, it goes both ways. What level of privacy do you you should you be afforded when you're the very one out there making sure your life is not that bride by putting it out there.
Yeah, I do not know. You know we're trying to find that balance.
Yeah, we are. And I think you have to insulate yourself from the comments and just do what you feel is right. And maybe you make a bad call and you apologize for it, but this is between Matt and Rachel and I Look, I was looking at some of the comments and I won't read any of the negative ones, but some of people were actually really insightful. There was one comment where someone said breaking up before social media was so much easier, and I agree, but I liked
this one. You guys get so worked up over people you see on TV that have the same relationship problems that you do too, and that is the truth. And I think people almost are able to watch other people's problems and speculate about their issues, and that way they
don't have to think about their own. And I do think we all need to ask ourselves that when we get two into the weeds pointing fingers, I think we can if you look at this and you read this and your heart goes out to both of them and you just send them love, that's the way to react. Because I just don't think that there are there isn't a bad guy and a good girl in this. Everyone has responsibility for the relationship.
And everybody lost, everybody lost los.
Yeah, I mean that's so true. And look, I also want to point this out. When you're in a relationship, there is always pressure from family and friends right to stay together, to be together, to be great together. There's also personal pressure, like you want to do right for yourself and for the person your partner. But when you add the pressure from the public, I think it's incredibly brave to admit, as Matt did to Rachel privately initially,
that you're not ready for marriage with someone. That's so hard to say out loud, And the worst thing I think he could have done would be to have proposed and to have gone into a marriage where he was doubting significantly whether or not it was the right thing to do. I've certainly accepted proposals that I shouldn't have in hindsight, and when you have doubt, and if it's significant enough, it takes a lot of courage to say it out loud.
But where does it come from? The idea you used it?
And I think in listening to her, and she was talking to a much different, a very specific audience, I should say that relates to and understands where she's coming from. And almost you could almost hear women going amen or hell yeah or me too as they were having their discussion. But where does it come from? To where the dragging
the feet right? How many couples dealing with this right now? Hey, we've been together for a year, two years, three years like when I think, certainly after what year and a half?
Two years top?
So you get the guy does before pressure comes.
Absolutely, I think that is an absolute time between one year and two years. Yes, people, most people, a lot of women will say not everybody, Hey, where are we going? Where are we heading? What answer is I.
Don't know yet? What do you do? Right?
Then the guy gets accused of dragging your feet or dragging her along?
But what if you don't know?
I mean, what do you This is something that I don't know if it'll ever get resolved between men and women. What do you what if you don't know? How much time do you give a guy? And then how much time should a guy get or how much time should he spend with a woman.
I think it's personal and it's what you're willing to accept as a woman. And I do think this if you know you want to get married, and you know your biological clock is ticking, which women do deal with those feelings and that pressure as well. If you know you want all of that and the guy you're with isn't sure, you have to decide what's best. You can't
blame the guy, you know. I appreciate I would appreciate someone saying I'm not sure, because then that gives me, the woman, the opportunity to say I want somebody who is. And that's okay too. And I think if you know you want to be married, and you know you're on a timeline for kids, you have a right to say this isn't enough for me and find someone else. But you have to take responsibility for that being your decision
as well. It's not just Matth's decision. It was Rachel's decision to stay, and she if she wasn't getting what she needed out of the relationship, she had every right to say I love you, but I need to find someone who's ready for marriage.
Jay's she has every right to say, but in the podcast she said it was on his timeline, and I think, don't she chose that though?
Okay, but women feel like that.
It's not a choice of theirs. I love you, I want to be with you, I want to marry you. I have now been a You put me in a position to fall in love with you. You put me in a position to want want marriage, and we've been talking about those things. But now it's year three, so now the onus seems like it's the man's responsibility. Now you need to make a move, because you have now given me an impression for a year, two years that things.
Were going well.
This is what has happened with them to where I'm almost looking for a way to say it's somebody's fault, it's the man or the woman's. But in a situation like this, I really don't know what to do or what is the right thing to do. That ends up in a conclusion that everybody says, yeah, it's not really anybody's fault, because everything else right now seems to say, well, it was his fault for dragging her along that long, or hey, no, she was her responsibility too.
You know, I want to make clear I'm not pointing the finger at anyone. I just think it's it is. It's okay, hay to not know, and it's okay to say I want somebody who does. And it's hard. That is so easy to say and so hard to actually execute. To actually it takes courage from either side to be able to say this isn't enough for me, or this
isn't what I want. And I do think as a as a woman, you can tell yourself you might even give yourself a deadline if he and look, the onus is on the guy, because yes, we do usually expect a man to propose. That is traditionally what happens. And sure she could have proposed to him. It sounds like he probably. I don't know what he would have said, but if a man is uncomfortable or not ready to propose, I wouldn't want to. I personally wouldn't want to walk
into a marriage with someone who wasn't sure. I don't think anybody wants to walk down the aisle with somebody who isn't sure. And if you say it out loud, that does take courage, I know.
Trying to address the idea that he should have said it sooner, I'm trying to address this, this mindset that he's just dragging her along.
The issue is he did publicly say, and she said he said it privately as well, that he wanted to marry her. Yep, that he wanted to get engaged. So where's the disconnect from saying that and then not doing it. And she even said he said everything perfectly, but his actions did not agree with his words.
Okay, but the action, the only action she's describing, really is the proposal.
Yeah, haven't.
Haven't We all been in a position at some point where we wanted to marry somebody and then we got some new information said, actually, no, I don't want to marry you, or you even marry somebody, and find actually, this is not what I should have done. Matt very much, I don't. Obviously he wasn't fooling her, trying to trick her. I had plenty of conversations with this dude. Now that she said it, I feel more comfortable saying it. He's
talked about marrying this woman. He's talked about them having kids, where are they gonna live, talked about it plenty privately, had this conversation tons of times with this dude.
Something changed, something changed along the way.
And her argument is she didn't know about it. She did, but she didn't even think he knew the breakup was gonna come. Certainly some of these things have been in his mind. And talk about you always looking at the person you've been in with for a relationship. We've been together two plus, so we're coming up on three years now.
I assure you I've had plenty.
Of thoughts about that being my wife and that being an issue in two years or five?
Is this going to be problem?
Oh?
Yeah, everybody does that. He's done that, she did.
Yeah, everybody has ugly sides to them. Everybody has things and ways that we react to things that aren't We aren't at our best. And the question is you have you ask yourself? Yes, no matter who you're with, you're gonna have issues with people. People aren't going to do and say and think and behave the way you'd like them to. So how much of that can you tolerate? And can you live your life with someone when you start to see some of the things that aren't attractive,
you know, can can you live with that? And it sounded like him seeing her get emotional and withdrawn was a trigger and something that maybe he had seen multiple times I don't know, and that it just it just flashed in front of him. Maybe he had an epiphany, maybe he had an AHA moment. Maybe there was just clarity saying, you know what, I don't want more nights like that. I don't want days like that. I don't
want that. I don't you know. We can't get in his head, but you're right, something had to have changed, something had to have clicked, and maybe spending three weeks non stop with someone, you know, maybe everyone should do that. Spend three weeks with someone twenty four hours a day, and you might have clarity that you didn't have before.
Well, we're the best couple ever, then apparently.
We should be. We should go to the go to the courthouse. Right now, we have withstood that test, but it's a test a lot of people don't go through. And look, I think at the end of the day, a year from now, six months from now, five years from now, there will be clarity. And I also think it's I try to avoid this in my own life, and I hope that people and refrain from or from Rachel thinking this or Matt thinking that they wasted time. Right,
I've seen that online everywhere. It's not a waste of time to learn what it's like to love someone, to accept someone, to love yourself, to accept yourself and realize what works and what doesn't like. They learned so much and about each other and about themselves, and that will set them up for the next relationship.
These are very young people.
They're young, no, and they are really young. But again, I know what Rachel's thinking. When I was her age at twenty eight. I was thinking to myself, my god, I've got five years to have a baby, or it's gonna be hard, or I'm gonna have to get medical intervention, or I'm gonna have so her mind, Matt doesn't. Men don't have to worry about that in the same way that women do. And so you know, oh, you're putting pressure on me, Well, there's real if you know you
want kids, there is real pressure there. And she had every right. I mean, I don't think he said she didn't, but I understand, like, what is going what else needs to happen? What else do you need to know? What else do you need to see to say you want to marry me or not, or not just to say it sorry, but to actually propose to me and walk down the aisle.
And perhaps that question should be I mean, should we all be asking that question every six months after marrying, after dating.
Somebody, like hopefully not after marrying.
Do you want this to like check in at a year, a year and a half, two, are we still on the same page and moving forward? Maybe that's worth it, But it's just that matter of whether's that sweet spot of Okay, it's been this long, you should know by now that I know it's difference for different people, but we there's a general feeling that Okay, it's been two years, like should I get off the pop I think goes comes.
Especially when you're that age. We're different, we're older, we're not rushing to go have babies together.
And to some though, I feel it daily, I'm not going to have good drinks next time. I'm kidding, I am kidding, I'm kidding.
But but so, but when you're younger, there is more pressure because there is a timeline and there you know when we when you get older, there's less of a timeline. So I get it, and I do think that when you're that age, there is a big question mark. If I were Rachel, if I were Rachel's friends family, I'd be like, why isn't he proposing to you? And that does become a glaring and important question, and it's hard to ask because she probably didn't want to know the answer.
You know.
I saw this recently about I can't remember what breakup it was, but it was described this way. It ran its course like they they just got to a point that we're either going to do this or we're going to do this, like huh, there's nothing else for this, reallylationship. We know we're not going to get married, certainly not anytime soon. It's okay, we've run our course and call on your own way. Is it any possibility that yeahship.
Yell, of course. It's the reasons the people say there. This is the concept behind relationships in a person's lifetime. There's a reason. Sometimes there's this season sometimes and rarely. Yeah, it's a lifetime. But a lot of times, well that is true. I mean the reason and season is probably far more plentiful than the lifetime relationship.
She did make clear, we do want to say at the end, she wanted to make this clear. I've seen rumors out there about they're being infidelity. She said that had nothing to do. She went said it several times. He is a good guy. He is a god fearing man. He didn't want us to live together until we got married. But she at the same time, she said, hey, we've been traveling everywhere. When the hotel rooms does a big deal.
Half this stuff is still at my place in Atlanta, Georgia.
She said, yes, so they we talked about this the last time. When he first announced their breakup. We knew like they were not in the same city. They traveled everywhere together, but they were bouncing around quite a bit.
Look the multiple times that I have hung out with Matt, and it's multiple multiple He's never been with Rachel, and not because they were fighting or there was some issue. It was just they were all over the place. And she did point out another looking in hindsight, there are always a lot of red flags, but people's actions do speak louder than their words. She said. Getting him to come to weddings, and she did have a lot of them, was like pulling teeth that he didn't want to go.
He didn't want to come, be like those are.
All the way to a lot of those.
He did. But I do think that that is a sign, you know. I don't know. I always go back to what my mom told me. If a man, this may be's so unfair, here you go, but I'm going to say what my mom told me, and it always stuck with me. She said, if a man wants to be with you, if a man loves you, he will walk across water to be with you if you ask him, and even if you don't. And I don't know, I've always kind of held that.
He should be Jesus for your mom with that.
Huh.
Yeah, she dancedn't shun impress off of fifty years.
Somehow it's working though.
Her hearts go out to these two. Love them both.
Like I said you mentioned, Yeah, most of the times I was with Matt, Rachel wasn't around. But I have gotten to spend some good time with her. We had a good old laugh because I had to cover her story every day on GMA what was happening in the controversy with bachelor.
He loves that young lady.
She is adorable, she has great energy, she has great But I am saying all complimentary things because of somebody I stood in front of and got to know in that way. I'm watching her here in this moment, and
it's not a matter of taking sides. He is my friend and someone I'm close to, so I'm I will forever defend him, and I will forever I won't defend bad behavior, but I can still be supportive of him in a public way and knowing I'm not defending him putting that post up and if he asked me ahead of time, bro, this is what we should do with this thing, I would have recommended that, but for the relationship he had, where his heart was, where his intentions were,
what he's sincerely desired out of this relationship with her, with her, he should not be criticized.
I agree, And it's painful because we do know him. This all of the speculation and finger pointing. Again, everyone wants a bad guy, and I do think us women, this is true love to point the finger at the man and say look what he did. Look and she was not doing that. And so I just think we, like you know both of them. I know Matt, and these are good people who had good intentions, who made
mistakes along the way, as we all do. So I also just want to say, while this is very painful to watch and it is heartbreaking, it's far less painful than a divorce after a children are involved. So I just want to give both of them a big hug, and I want to give them a break from all the speculation and all the finger pointing and just let them heal because it's they're gonna it's gonna they're gonna need some time, both of them.
And I don't know if there's potential for these two getting back together. The way she put it was after you hear someone say that like she's she doesn't think she could rekindle, just after you hear someone say they you're not the type of person I want as a wife.
Is a difficult Honestly, that makes me want to cry for her. That is a tough thing to hear. It doesn't mean she's a bad person. It's just something. It's it's about dynamic and and it's it's about how you communicate and how you handle not just the good times but the bad times. And it's heartbreaking, it really is. And that's a tough damn thing to hear. But better to hear it before a marriage than after.
Mom always said you'd rather find out in five months than five years that there's an issue. So Matt, we love your brother. Rachel. We love you too, just it's not as close to her, but we love you. And you were taking care of our guy, and if you were good for him and had a smile on his face, you were always always going to be a favorite of ours, simple as that. So, folks, you'll hear plenty more about this, And I think you're right.
Robes.
We watch so often from Afar and we see the way somebody you care about people you care about being talked about in such a way. Yeah, and it doesn't feel good. So we'll see what neck this might be it for a while. This is and you know what, I was jealous in listening to her, jealous And then while she she stepped out and spoke when things were going on, she just didn't let it keep going. I just I always look at them and go, wow, that's what we should have done. There are lessons to be learning,
there are lessons we learned that. I'm like, I would love to go run to both of them now and say, hey, this is coming. You should do this, this should do this, because we do have an experience there. Yeah, lends itself to what they're going through.
Well. I do appreciate the fact that both of them said nothing but kind words about one another, and when they both did publicly say something, it was never with any sort of contempt or any sort of blame. And I hope it stays that way. And again, I just want to give you both a hug.
It will it'll stay at both And you know what she said, I know she said that.
He said to.
Her during the breakup, I will never say anything bad about you in a public form.
Ever, that's cool and that's the mat we know. And he has been calling her by the way to check up on her, and I think I get a certain point. She's like, okay, I'm okay and enough that's almost making it painful. He was trying to be kind, but I get that, and look, who knows, Like you said, a year from now, you never know what could happen.
It threw me, just the idea if he kept calling. She's like, okay, I get it, you can stop calling to check on me. But it threw me, she said. The first time he called after the breakup, like after the first several minutes of talking how you're doing, they just started talking about, Hey, how was the Tokyo trip?
Your last day there? Had?
They were best friends?
Yes, think about that, folks.
Imagine right now your best friend is gone. That's tough. Not the person you're dating, but everybody has the best who who that person.
Is, Well, you're my best friend, so you don't have.
That person all of a sudden, who also happened to be your mate, who was going to be the father of your children.
It's like a death that's hard, like a.
Death God, that's tough and she's going through it. God you know he is too, But man, that poor girl.
And we'll see you down the road, won't we? All right? Road? How much time do I for?
What?
Oh?
To propose? We're not on the same kind of timeline, and I won't put you on one. I'll let you know when when it's the moment that I feel like it needs to happen.
How much of a heads up, I guess, I don't know.
I actually can't speak on that in any real way. I'm not anywhere close to it. Like we watched the show called the Ultimatum, I would never do that.
Give me an ultimatum.
No, no, But I just feel like at a certain point, yeah, if it runs its course, it runs its course. But pressure could never I don't think pressure should ever be a part of a decision. So I'll never put the pressure on you. You're fine, We're both fine, which we do talk about it. We do check in.
Got another couple of years for marriage?
Oh yeah, I don't. I told you this already. I don't need a proposal necessarily in any specific amount of time. But I have made it very clear that I do want to move in with you.
Oh, that's that's that's not issue.
But proposal wise, we're good. This is like a it's a decision.
I actually don't expect a proposal. I think we've talked about it. I think we'll make the decision. We're we're grown as adults. We're going to Vegas soon, so I think that we'll make the decision to get married together. I'm not expecting a proposal at all.
Okay, so time wise on us making the decision, what what are we dealing with?
I think we're we're getting close.
To the ultimatum no her face right now.
Ultimatum there never will.
Be Okay, then there will ever be any pressure for us to get married.
No, but I've said I would like to.
Okay, this was as supposed to happen at the end. Sorry, all right, folks, we appreciate you. It's always we're listening to Amy and DJ. I guess next episode episode this might just be called the Amy Podcast because I might not be here.
We'll see you voks.
All right, have a great day. Everyone be kind to each other.