Hey, I do Part two.
It's Kelly Klaren Bensimon, one of your celebrity mentors, and today I'm catching up with one of the stars from The Valley Persian Style.
So she's been stuck in the middle of a lot of conflict.
On the show this season, and now she's going through a divorce. I can't wait to catch up with her and see how she's coming through this difficult situation.
Please help me. Welcome Mercedes MJ to the pot.
Hi, Hori, Kelly, it's good to see you.
I know, it's so good to see you. I know that you've been going through a lot, but I want to.
Tell you your show was fantastic and you are a baller. I'm so proud of you with you know, changing your narrative, raising your son, you know, everything you've been through with your ex house. We're going to get into that, the real estate business. You've been doing so well. I am
so proud of you on all fronts. Let's get started. Okay, So this season's been We've been seeing a lot of things playing out between you and your soon to be ex husband Tommy and attention with you guys, you caught in the middle.
What was that like for.
You, it's very hard because you know, we're doing it with this big cast of friends and instead of six people who are now twelve. I find a lot of the episodes to be hard to watch. The scenes between Tommy and I, I close my eyes, I turn it off. I just you know, I was with him for ten years, married seven, very in love, with no intention of following the footsteps of a divorced family, same age as when my son, as my son is is when my parents
got separated. It's the worst thing ever, and I hate it and I never really got any closure with Tommy. So we're just a married couple going through communication breakdowns and then, like you always want to have a healthy conversation to follow up things, and that's how it feels when you don't get to do that.
I really like what you just said about communication breakdowns, and I think that that is such a big, big, big thing that happens in relationships, especially guy. You guys have been together for so long and you've been through so much together. It's just obviously wildly serendipitous that this happened at the same time as you know your parents. So I'm so sorry for that, so this season your ex Tommy, he was involved in filming the show less than when you guys were on shows of Sunset? Was
that an effort to save your marriage? Did you just not want to film?
What was?
What was?
What happened?
I think he hadn't healed at all from the last time that we were on TV. It was extremely heavy on him because you know, we've just had our baby, and then the falling out with Res it just made us. It just gutted him. And then coming back. I think he did want to do the show, but I don't think he wanted to put himself vulnerable for like getting you know, hurt again. I mean, he had to serve time for even I think it was might have just been for a day, to be honest, I don't know
if he had to go more than a day. It was probation. Sorry, I don't mean to like spread false information, but yeah, that's why he didn't. He's he's very fragile when it comes to what am I going to do? What's going to happen to me? I think I was probably afraid too, because I didn't want to have another falling out with Resa or Valanessa, so fear.
Again like another just compliment to you about just being so thoughtful for him and his feelings and how that was going to play out for him. You know, I think you know I was going to ask you, did the show contribute to your decision.
To get divorced.
I saw you guys in two scenes that were really like pop up scenes. Like the first scene was when you guys were on the podcast and just like the back and forth banter seemed difficult, but also you guys were like in that conflict resolution mode, which I really really loved. But then when I saw you guys at the open house where Tommy wouldn't come in, and you're at this open house, you're filming, You've got stress, you're you know, you've got so many things going on.
You're trying to, you know.
Show Maricio how great you are, because you are so great. Your open house was amazing. No one comes from an open house, by the way, so that was fantastic. There was just a lot of variables, and I think you handled that really well.
But I could see at that moment he was just like shutting down. What are your thoughts?
Yeah, my thoughts are like, you want to be able to feel love from your spouse, And if the neglect and the isolation outweighs the love and the breakdown, then it just doesn't make sense. If I would have thought that Tommy was willing and open to like working things out, then I wouldn't have had a reason to leave. He's the one that ended the marriage, not me. He's the one that stopped participating and checked out for years. It had it had just come to a head, I just
had to file the paperwork. He was the one that stopped being to me like so many things that he was when we first met ten years ago.
Wow, that's big. Usually it's the woman leaving the man.
I mean, it's very unusual that the man like checks out and you know, the woman has to leave like that. That is I'm so sorry. I mean, I just feel like I just have so much empathy for you. Just I feel like we have a lot of similarities in our lives. I mean, I just know that for my own self, I you know, broke up with a boyfriend in December because I was going to be filming a new show and I'm just.
Like I can't, you know, I just can't bring him along. I'm afraid, you know. I mean, I've had.
I had two very very bad situations happen when I was filming, and I just was like, I just can't do this. And I'm just like honestly making me emotion right now because like, you know, you do work really hard, and I mean another moment that really like I can't even tolerate.
It was like you know, like, first of all.
Having someone pick up your child is one thing, but like not showing up that really like and you just kind of going back and figuring saying it was fifteen minutes, it was forty five minutes. Like I could feel, I could hear the pain in your voice, and I just I just know. I know you're filming a show, but there are moments for the listeners out there that are so wildly real, and that was one of them.
Like because people are like, oh, you're so calm, You're so calm, like and I was like, yeah, yeah, because I have had to learn to be home. There were years when I was reactive and I would cry and
I would beg and scream. There were years and you know, so many Christmases and days and Mother's Days and things like that where I was like, bro, like please don't phone it in with me like I care too much and I had my heart in my hand, and I eventually had to harden and put on more of like the brave face and be a healthy mom to your son. And so I shoved everything that I had for Tommy so that I could be positive. And then you know, here we are.
How's the co parenting going.
The co parenting? We live a minute away, we see each other, and we're both one hundred percent in with Shams. He doesn't miss a beat and he gets the best of both of us. And you know, it's that part is really healthy.
Thank god, that is That's a huge blessing.
I never had a co parent, so I don't know. I was like, this co parenting, I'm like, that sounds fantastic. I had no idea what you're talking about.
I raised my.
Kids on my own, and I have like that is just something that like is just like, you know, foreign language to me.
I can't I even imagine that because when I'm working and I have days that I come home from work and I am spent, especially yes, especially at the end of the day, I'm like, I am not capable of cooking a meal. I you know, it's going to be pizza. It's going to be like takeout and when when you do have somebody, And Tommy is a very good father and he's very present then and he's become more present actually since we separated. So I am extremely grateful for that.
I love that.
I love that who on the cast has been the most supportive during this process, everybody.
I mean, I'm not close with Sky right now, which you know, I know that she feels like she's a little bit on an island. But I'm really close with and I feel a lot of love and his support from Natasha and Amir and Reza and Golnessa and Tanny and like, they're very, very real. And I've known we've known Tanny and you know for fifteen years. She just was one of those people that wasn't going to do reality TV. And I know it's a huge risk. You know that too, But yeah, they're they're amazing.
They are the whole cast is amazing. The dynamic is unbelievable, and it's just to hear your storyline is just it's heartbreaking. I mean it's just heartbreaking.
Have you thought about dating? Oh?
No, custom Mark, No, I am so actually I feel so distrusted, distrusting of men. I have zero faith in men. If this is what love is, then no, thank you. I feel so It's been so long since I've been single. I can't even imagine. I just feel like I will die a celibate like lady. Maybe if I'm locky enough to live to like I'm one hundred, you know, for the kid, right, But no, I don't see it. I don't see it being naked in front of of anybody ever.
Again, well, you look gorgeous, so do not do not talk about don't talk like that because that's not fair. And I've seen you on the show and you're gorgeous.
You put that makeup like you are.
Thank you.
So this is a really good question.
If you do get in a relationship, hypothetically, let's say you started to date.
And you get into your relationship.
Okay, how important is it for that new partner to get along with your friends?
Yeah, it's important because look, people forget this falling out with my husband and I was not because of you know, him not partying. It's not like that. It's more of like going to weddings by yourself. That shouldn't be a thing. Wanting to play tennis and going on a hike and just experience, like, let's go swim in our pool. We have a beautiful which in California is you know, costs a lot of money just to have a pool of
running water. It's a lot. Your husband be like, yeah, I don't want to go swimming, I don't want to go to the beach. I don't want to go to this wedding all you baby, Like that was not fun. So if I were hypothetically with somebody, they would have to not just writ and bear it or hopefully I didn't watch that statement, but that they really really just think that grinn and bear that you really want to see that as an adventure, like, hey, this wedding is
going to be so boring. Let's get trashed and have the best time ever, like Bonnie and Clyde. Let's have fun.
You just want to create memories. And I love that.
I mean, I had so I had that relationship with my with my first and only husband, he was literally gone.
I'm the girls.
You know, I gave birth my first daughter and he was gone, like literally came back like once a month.
So you know, I am so I'm so used.
To being with someone who's not around and all the memory I was just looking at these memories because I just sold my department them living in and I was looking at all these memories of my girls.
I'm says, they're all of me and the girls. It's a party of three. I'm like, this is not what I want. This is not my future.
So I totally empathize with you. And you're right, like you want to create these memories. You want to have a photo album of like good, bad and ugly, like you did it together exactly.
We went to my cousin's wedding. It was a destination wedding. And when I came back and I looked at my camera role, I was like, you dumb bitch, what are you doing here?
I'm literally, you're gonna make me cry, Like I'm so, I'm like, oh my god, I'm so.
I just I hate this. I hate this. So Okay, you're you're.
A fellow, you're you and you're and now there's a new friend of yours, Britney cart Right. She's in she's in the valley, she's a resident, and she's gone through a similar experience. Are you guys talking, do you guys, because you're both on similar shows.
Do you guys have any like connection?
Okay, so Michelle son I and Britney Carr right, and I are definitely overdue for a lunch. I'm very funning with the Rolls on the Valley and we do DM and say like when are we gonna have lunch? And you know, sunk right now. It's like, it's so painful that I have to push myself to get out there more because between working and then being with the baby, you just want to you know, he's six, He's always my baby. You want to be able to like this that I'm doing here today for you is so new.
I want to literally carve myself back into my life where I am not putting my hair on the top, not for forty five days in a row. I literally think from December to January, I might have left the house in ways that people would be looking at me going like is she okay? Like where it's not okay, it's not okay. And you can't just you know, do a slick phony to show up. You have to actually feel it inside. So connecting with girl Brittany and checking
in with Michelle and having fun is so important. We need to support and laugh at the you know, the craziness, and you know, maybe she has some cheers. I haven't cried yet.
I met Brittany at Swim Week at the oh SI Show, and she is so much fun, Like she is literally hilarious and we had such a good time. I think that you'll like her also because she's very authentic like you are.
But she's also just fun doing to me. She's smiling and she's just like I'm trying to get through things.
And I think you guys should definitely if you have the if you have the opportunity to do that, you should.
Guys should definitely hang out. She's great.
I'm gonna literally message her right now.
She's sunshine and she'll get you whether or not you even meet.
She's just got like a very sunny personal.
No, like like we run into each other all the time. We see together Michelle as well from her show. We definitely have intention and should it's really just being on that like that hamster wheel lifestyle where you're just like busting your ass trying to get from point A to B. That's not cool. That's not a way to live. We have to change that. We will, right will.
And speaking of your top knot and your burnout, What are you going to do so that we slick the hair back and we feel good?
Like, what do you? What do we? What are we doing for for your self care?
So I just did. I'm gonna tell you. I just went to one of the moms from my school. She was like, get your ass in here, I'm giving you a signature facial. She laminated my brows. I went to my friend's house. She did the hair. I have to do the spray tand there's nothing that makes me feel quite as good. I'm very fair right now, and I've got like pounds of dark like you know, bronze on so that I'm all about a steam room, red light therapy, my f forty five for muscle tone, and I walk
my dog, you know. So I'm just committed to doing more of that.
Do you know the red light therapy?
Honestly, I feel so like even just putting that mask on for a couple of seconds, I'm just like, WHOA. I mean, obviously there are had so many benefits, but I know, even for myself, I'm very like, I'm very light sensitive, and I'm just like when I get light, my.
Body goes yes, and then when I have no light, it's like, well, yeah, well I do the thing I subscribe to the wake up, open the door, let the sun hit you, and get that vitamin D. You have to actually be your skin meets the vitamin D. It's not just your face and you want to protect your face from sunspots. But yes, this is an eighty degree day in La. By the way, we have no excuse, so I just have to take more advantage of what we have here, which I am.
But I literally I had a when I after I broke up with my my boyfriend, I literally had a Carrie Bradshaw moment and I darkened my hair and I was like inside it was like the semmer and I was like, oh.
Oh this is this is my name. I mean, everything is okay.
I am not like that though, by the way, I'm always like okay, you know, maybe this isn't right, okay. I mean granded never had anyone break up with me. I've always been the one that's like no, no, no, no, no no no, And this I was.
Just like no.
But I was just like, oh, I've never like thought about going back with someone, right, No.
But I mean I know that you were when we ran into each other at Jeff's at radio, you were with somebody, and then when it ended, I was like, God, I wish I should have reached out to you at that time too, because I know it wasn't it wasn't what you were expecting.
That was awful.
Okay, So being this is not being on Europe, being on our own, being on our own.
You know, what's it been like for you? I mean, what's I mean? I know that you've.
You're doing some self careac your friends, you know, have done so many nice things for you.
But have you like made over your house? Have you like done something different?
Is there anything that you've done for yourself that like the you can help our listeners kind of go through, you know, how to make themselves feel better, you know, because you do look so great by the way, you look really great.
Thank you. I you know, we moved out of the house that we were married in. I moved into a townhouse which was the polar opposite vibe, full of white light. It was just like the place that I moved into is so bright and high ceilings and everything that I'm choosing to put in this new home is a very conscious choice of and I there were things that I just said, can't come in, they can't go with me. So I purged probably eighty percent of what we had.
I only kept the things that felt one hundred and if it didn't like belong, then I just said like thank you and goodbye. Because I saw Lala Kent when she separated from her marriage their engagement, and I saw her put like every single piece back into her house and I was like, that was that should be there, right, and then goodbye to the out with the old, in with the new. It's also a huge part of Persian culture is symbolism and how things feel. And you know,
we've all heard of the Marie condo. So it's like when you have to connect with your body, you have to connect with your womanhood, you have to connect with like the shower is an extra luxurious shower, Like I would slather on everything that made me feel spoiled as possible on a daily basis, like take time, extra extra time, and that is you know, it's fun, it's fun. Plans.
I actually did that. I put on this like really really nice lotion today.
I was like, I feel like I deserve that's actually good.
Advice for your clients because you can say when they're when they're you know, buying or selling, that you can say that these are the things that you've done, and this is something that people are always looking for to They're looking for advice and how to like navigate that next chapter of their lives. And so, I, you know, I feel like that's just like such a good you know, also takeaway. Before I let you go, I want to ask you about the Traders because you were such a superstar on.
That show, Thank You.
Would you ever like want to go back or come back?
I mean, is there everybody loved you on Traders?
Thank You? The first time is always the best time. I love the experience. I felt like sleep away camp but I never got to do when I was a kid. But if I were to go back this time, I would really be extra worried about spending time away from my son. I've been hearing like maybe there will be an All Stars. I think I would play the game differently in some ways because it is getting like no disrespect,
but every season is evolving. There is like a very high level of respect and decorum on the set of Traders, Like with this overseas English production Company. They're not as they don't have tolerance for anything vicious, so I you know, never say no to the universe. But also like it was, it was a very unique, intensely positive experience. I loved it.
I would go on Traders with you. We could be like the two pieces in a pod.
I'd be like, I'm very I'm very like fluffy bunny, but then on the inside, I'm super strategic.
Right, It's true. And I don't know how you feel about like crawling into dark holes. And you know, there are a lot of like no, no me, Me and Phedra Chary, even Kevin from Bling Empire, like none of us were willing to go into a pitch black tunnel that had like rats and worms. I don't know what was in there. It was so slimy, and it smelled like horse piss. It was at the horse.
The horse piss.
I'm a usedup, but like and I'd bend in the catacombs, which sounds very bougie in Europe, but I am now there's certain I am so there are certain things I cannot.
I can do anything.
She can jump from She's like they're always like, you're so sporty I'm like, just because I can run and ride a horse and play a little tennis and hit some golf balls, does not make me one to like, you know, jump off the cliffs Like that's a no.
Oh, no, you would repel because we did the repelling down the line. We did a lot of like physical things, but no, you don't think you could repel. It was the scariest thing. I have like very sensitive hands, so I'd be like, and then you had to like not look down. And then I never used the repel before. I was like, look what happens if I just slide? No, dude, there were a lot of things that were very challenging. But if the I will give props major props to
Trishall and ct. They did the disgusting things that took thirty minutes, like to get through the tunnel, Like give that up to the challenge people. The Bravo people were making it entertaining and the people were earning the dollars. I guess the Bravo.
Paper are always like, oh my god, I'll talk about exactly well.
We love you so much and I support you. I am here for you.
I know this is not the easiest time in your life, but you're doing such beautiful work for your family, for your son, for the fans, for your business, for your ex husband. I mean, you're wearing a lot of hats and we're just like, we're here for you. And I'm going to speak on behalf of all the fans.
We love you.
I love you, Kelly. Thank you. I am going to call you.
Yes, please do. I'm in la a lot. I would love to see you, and I'm here for you.
I know that it's not easy, but like I mean, even like you know, I talked to Brittany about it, and I've talked to some other you know, people you know, Bravo friends, and you know, they're all like.
What happened and how did you get through?
It's like, all of a sudden, it was like a badge of honor and now like people are like help me.
I'm like, I don't know, but we do. We love you so much and we're here for you.
If that's all one of the best things about us being in this Bravo community. We have like this family family with each other. We've got to take advantage of it.
And the show, the value person style is fantastic, Thank you. It is fantastic. I hope everything works out with a friend group. I am like literally watching and cannot wait to hear more and more and more about what happens.
Thank you, honey, see you soon.
Are you single and in your chapter two and need some advice? Call us or email us. All the info is in the show notes, follow us on socials, and make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do part two in iHeartRadio podcast, where falling in love is the main objective.