Meet the Parents

Hey, folks, I could not decide what to say to start this episode of Amy and TJ because I was so concerned about making a good impression on our in studio guest today and with that, welcome to Amy and TJ. Really, I got nothing. I got nothing. That's how I'm starting. I got nothing. That was Wow.

Are you nervous?

I am nervous. I'm sitting here, my heart is pumping. I always get a little nervous before we start any broadcast of any kind my whole career. I used to actually put my hand out and make sure I was shaking a little bit, make sure I was a little nervous. Don't every want to get too comfortable and too cool and think you got it. I am nervous today.

Do you want to tell I? Well? I would only.

Compare it to the first podcast we did that aired on December fifth. I would argue, this is is as nervous as I've been because of our guests. Yes, and I have some options, folks about what we start every podcast. You say you start right? You always want me to start?

Yes?

And why is that?

Because you're a better starter than me?

And but how so, how do you what do I do at the beginning, you find it well.

You usually have like a card up your sleeve, and so you have something funny or something provocative or something just to kind of shake me up a little bit, to make it interesting.

Okay, I had some things. Here's my problem. I'm serious. I had some options. I didn't like any of them enough because I was trying to make it perfect, because you go too far. As some of the best advice I ever got was don't let perfect get in the way of good. And today I let perfect get in the way of it, and I've got nothing.

Wait, but you texted me earlier this morning saying I got it because you're always trying to figure out how you're starting, and so so let me text me.

I got it.

Okay, So this is what I'm going to tell you. This is why I got it, because instead of just starting with something, I'm going to give you the four options. I had four options for how to start this podcast, in which our guests are your parents and folks of you.

Because you want to impress her.

Okay, there it is, and that's good and let's go. Okay, here am I and you all helped me. So this was my option one. Ro So I was going to start the podcast. It was hello, folks, making a good impression on your partner's parents. I'm about to teach a master class. Oh okay, okay, So I'm glad I didn't go with that one. The other Okay, hello folks, they deserve admiration for being married fifty two years. They deserve sainthood for raising Amy Robot.

Whoa shot across the bow?

Okay, okay, I'm glad I didn't go with those Twodi Yeah, okay, number three this was a little heavier. Hey, folks, we worried about what the world thought about us, but all we really wanted was the acceptance of the two people in the studio with us.

That's nice, that's nice.

Maybe that's the one I see. But nobody reacted emotionally in heavenly they say, yeah, it didn't worry.

Maybe it felt like you were pandering or something.

Okay, you know what, good point? Glad I didn't go This is the last one. Hey, folks, I haven't asked for permission or the blessing to marry Amy Roback. But the two people i'd need to ask are our guests today.

Wow. Yea yeah, that's one.

And this is why I didn't use any of those.

Why don't we ask Why don't we ask the guests next to you what they thought or which one they would pay?

Yes, folks, we have Mama Roback and Papa Roback in studio with us. Hey, gang, welcome. Mom and Dad are in the building.

None and Pop has their affections called in our house. How are you doing today? Doing great? Are you all nervous if it's just talking about you? No, No, we want to talk about you. No, that's what we don't want.

Let me ask, should we be nervous?

No?

I don't think I told you all before you started that there's not a question we're going to ask that you don't know the answers, I assure you. But I do want to say, Congress isn't the anniversary coming up in a couple of weeks, right, fifty two years? Fifty? Is that right?

Right? It'll be fifty two years the life.

First, anybody listening is in a relationship. You hear somebody's been together for fifty years, you always want to ask, what is the secret? How do you do they want us have something to help their relationship last that long? What do you got?

I already I always answer this question first, So I'm gonna let you do it today.

Oh, you're gonna let me answer? That's that's turning the tables, all right? There is no secret. How's that? It's making a decision every day that you are in love with someone and you were in love with them for you've been We've been in love for a long time, and every day it's a decision. You know, I'm going to love this person and you know we are going to continue going through life together.

That sounds kind of ominous that you have to redecide every morning.

It's positive affirmation.

Okay, I will do it again one more day, one day more.

Oh you disagree, You don't think of it the same way.

No, I don't know. Okay, how do you think I have massive attraction to this man always have.

What is that he's good?

I say, the attraction motivates you to continue. Yes, absolutely, When he turns like eighty five, it's going to be a little tough, but I'll be eighty five too.

So okay, now this is something she explained. This your whole family. People who are familiar with robots see her and great shape, and she's fifty one, but she has great genes. You all are freaking amazing. And like you said, you say, when he's eighty five, I mean, I've bet what he's eighty five, he's gonna look pretty damn good.

On the lawn. Right.

It's still at eighty five, So how much of that I mean for you all, it's just jeans genetics, your family that helps people maybe understand why robot has the genes.

Yet I agree. Both my parents lived until their nineties. My dad was ninety eight, Yeah.

My mom is ninety one. I had grandparents grandfather that was ninety eight and a grandmother ninety six, so a lot of people lived into their nineties. So yeah, I think we have good genes for a long lung jitivity, longevity, well, longevity.

I look at that as TG does that scare you because I'm not dying anytime soon. You're stuck with me for a long long time.

That's a good thing. And we talk about this something I hate to turn it on a but your health right when you talk about your breast cancer survivor and to think that every six months, every year, you have to get a report that says whether or not you got another six months another year, that is and it makes you live a certain way. But I appreciate the health that you're in. Okay, youre as healthy as your a. Youre's active as your This is great, all right, it's

Yep, it's true. I mean, and my whole life. Everyone my parents would walk into the newsroom when I was twenty two and they were forty one, right because they're nineteen years old within me and they were nineteen when they had me.

But every my whole.

Life, everyone their jaw drops when they see my parents because a they are young, but they also look really young and good for their age.

So it's like a combo.

But everyone Dad, how many people thought we were married when we would like go somewhere together. It was so embarrassing. We had the last same last name. We would go to a hotel together a couple of times and we'd say, can we get the two you know, the two twin beds, and they would look at us.

My dad's like, this is my daughter, and nobody would believe. Oh, please please stop saying that.

And I've heard that a lot. But until I had the picture of you, it might have been your wedding day, but you will. It is unbelievable. You should post that picture.

I will to see because on the wedding when I was twenty three years old, Dad, you were forty two. Everyone do you remember when we were getting ready, they all thought you were the groom.

They all thought you were the groom and that was so weird.

But it was even more weird for me.

Was a compliment, though, Has it always been a compliment that you've gotten?

Is that?

Wow, you're only I.

Don't know, you know. I think I think when you're that age, you know, it's not necessarily a compliment because you're trying to be taken serious. And I think sometimes people look at you as being young and maybe not as experienced as you are, So it wasn't always an advantage.

But for your marriage, for your wife absolutely absolutely? What was did you all you have a Eric as how what's about your brother?

He's twenty months younger than me? So he is gush? Is he about to turn fifty this year?

Yes?

Okay, yes, he's turning fifty in October forty nine? Yeah.

Tell were there easy and obvious distinctions when you had these You had these two kids, did you see them? They were going to be going two different directions? Could you tell? From very early on they were just different?

Absolutely?

Really?

I mean Amy was go, go, go, go go, never stop banging on the door, like I want out of this cage that I'm in. And Eric was more you know, he'd have my skirt if we went to the shopping because he was like, look at all these people. Amy. Here's what Amy would do. Walk into a store. Amy had learned a lesson that if you make a beeline for the customer service and you say I'm lost, they

Three, that's when we first moved to Blacksburg that you started doing it. Yeah, you would just take off. You were probably two and a half three years old and boom, you were right to the customer service counter asking, uh for someone to call your parents because you were lost, and they'd give you a lollipop and you were happy.

That is as a that's a sociopath. I mean, what is what? How are you at two and three? You possess enough to manipulate a system that way at two or three.

I was motivated by sugar jeez and attention, because I'm sure that they all were like, oh, poor little girl, where's your mommy and daddy.

I'm guessing I don't know. I have no memory of this, So what would you it?

Was it attention?

I would say number two first was the lollipop. Number two was she was just had a little bit of a flair for the dramatic. So she she did like to kind of be in the spot like, oh wow, I never did he was pulled.

We're peeling this thing back layer.

Oh no, we should get aimed to do some of her cute, little cute little songs and dances that we taught you. Yeah, no, thank you. I'm sure there's a video somewhere. The girls are trying to pull them up and show them to TJ. The other day. I was like, please stop, please stop pageant stuff. Yes, they were trying to.

She is online, yes, I mean, I'm not going to post a link, please don't.

But it is googleable, and my daughters, I think, don't let I don't even think they let two weeks go by without all of a sudden, they'll just play it and they'll.

Start laughing because they'll know that I get said. I'm like, please turn that on now. Yes, even things you did.

Before the internet now can live forever online. And I found this out the hard way.

But who is she more like between you two?

Would you say, Oh, that's a good question. There's definitely she's definitely a combination of the two of us. I mean, her musical talent and her artistic talent. Her creative talent comes from her mother, not from me, that's for sure. I think maybe her wunderlust attitude comes from me. I mean, I traveled a lot for work over the years, and I think Amy you know has kind of had that same sense of adventure by going out, but you know, from but from a creative side. It's totally on her mom's side.

Is that right?

Yes? I agree, yeah, dad.

When Dad traveled around the world always when I was growing up. So I the one thing, you know, some people have boxes of memorabilia. I have a shoebox, and my shoebox memorabilia of my childhood consists of my gymnastics medals and the stickers and money that my dad would

Why are you looking like that?

No, I cannot believe how much I'm learning about you. And No, I know a lot about you, and I'm probably know you better than by anybody outside of these two and your daughters. I would probably argue I did not know about the customer service thing that is blowing my mind right now? Does it ring true about you? The candy know the attention. Yes, the flare for the dramatic, yes, yes, so lutely. But does she get that from either one of you? The flair for the dramatic.

I think guilty is charged. I was thinking you were going to own that.

Yeah, but do you want her and Mama Robot, I hear this from you. I think the time, or at least she passes it along, that that wanderlust, the travel, the venture and whatnot. You would like for her to sometimes just fit the hell down stop for a second.

Yeah, A thousand times. Yes, yeah. When she's climbing and then she send me videos or climb on the very edge of a mountain that's just death below and she's just walking along on like a two inch platform. I don't want to see that, and I don't even want to. I was secured by the way with ropes, just so you know, I didn't know that. Yes I was. I was tethered to a guide who knew better than me to yes.

So her point remains, you're still hanging off the side of a mountain with dental floss essentially, Yeah.

I know, and I have slowed down.

It was It was not something that I chose, but I know that that's part of all of what's happened in the last year and a half that I know you have I think expressed me that that's one one of the good things that's happened that I've I've settled down, I've been still, and I was forced to like and and now I'm in a pattern where I'm with the person who I want to be with. I'm not searching as much. I think I was always searching for something.

Right. Yeah, before she never would stop. I mean, if we would come to visit her, it's like, I'm exhausted after two days because we're just you know, running everywhere in the city. But I've noticed, Ye, you definitely stopped that slowing down.

But did you all over the years see it as her? Yeah, she has that sense of adventure you talked about Papa Rovak, But did you all get a sense that there was something else to it than just adventure, That she was ripping and running and moving and I don't want to say running from something, but there was something else motivating her to be adventurous.

Yeah, I think so. I mean, you know, especially when you can look at things and you know retrospect that she was definitely looking for outlets that would be almost distractions from maybe what was going on, you know, inner life. So I think those adventures. Sure, they some of them were work related and you enjoyed them, but some of them were I think escapism to an extent. So yeah, we definitely saw that.

Yeah, no, that's all true.

And I think, like what you're saying is in retrospect, when you're doing it, you don't realize why you're doing it. You just know you need to do it, like you feel almost a compulsion to do it, because you need to constantly not be where you are, to not actually.

Let anything that's a problem.

You don't have to deal with it if you just distract yourself with other things. And I think funny enough, with cancer, it almost it it put everything I think on hyper speed. It went into like it's almost like it was like that I already had and then put steroids you know, onto it, and then all of a sudden, now I'm running out of time.

I'm running out of time.

And so that all I think made for the last decade a very wild, busy, NonStop life.

It always felt like you were running away from something, not running towards something. So I just I knew what you were doing, but I couldn't tell you. You had to figure it out yourself.

Advise because a lot of parents listening. How do you sit by? How difficult is it to sit by? How do you comfort or counsel a child when you season zero at that point an adult and a strong one, a strong minded one. How do you if you sit back and that you really think somebody's making mistake or doing something wrong? Or how do you support without also ruining the relationship by saying no, you shouldn't be doing that, Or how do you strike that balance? Say somebody?

Well, saying no to amy never worked. We have some stories we could tell, but no, I think you.

Should tell the door.

We'll get to the door. Well, yeah, no, I think that the way, at least the way that I think we approached it was by continuing to love her and to let her know that we loved her, and then also by setting an example in the way that we conduct ourselves and the way that we live our lives, and that to me. And then we participated in a lot of these adventures Dad climbed, So we did things together that I believe demonstrates, you know, the way that you feel and the way that we modeled our lives

But it's kind of not fair because I found we found each other when we were seventeen, and so we didn't want to judge you because that's not ours, not our job anyway. But in private where we disappointed that your life was kind of crazy, and yeah, we were disappointed, but only for you, not for ourselves. So we just love Amy very very much. So we just loved her. We tried to love her. I don't know if you always felt like we were loving you, but that's what

Well, how did you deal with robes? Then? Right, they loved you, but there was some point, I mean I deal with with my parents and okay, your parents always so proud of you, Yes, we want to hold you up. But then when things kind of crumblow or you make mistakes, you're so worried about disappointing your parents.

Oh my god, Yes, that's such a huge part of it. And like, especially with what happened to you and a half ago, the crazy thing is all of everything, everything happened on the day my mom and dad we talked about this came to New York. So that was like

We were fine. We were just worried about you and what's the best way to show you that we loved you? And it took us a while to think through how do we show her we love her without scolding her saying I told you you shouldn't have done this or done that. Am you knows what I'm talking about?

I told you so, so, oh you know it's past now, do you all actually and she actually expressed that to you, or I would kind of imagine you all ever looked at her at any point.

In the past year and a half and said, I told you so, right, And that's no, that's not is you always lane to do?

We would never say that. I would never say that to Amy.

No, no, but you can see it in our eyes.

No, Actually, it's funny. It's funny.

I've gone this isn't the first miss Like, I don't even want to say mistake. I would just you know, I hate to say the end of a marriage is a mistake.

It isn't always a mistake.

In fact, sometimes it's what the right thing is to do and you learn a lot through it. Funny enough, with everything that's happened in the last two years, I've never felt more supported by the two of you than I was this past year and a half, more so than any other moment in my life.

You know what she did, both of you all. She did say this several times. She's her relationship with her parents is the best she can remember it in a long time. She has. She has said that several times in the past year and a half. That is true.

Absolutely, Yes, I felt the love, I felt the support, and I didn't feel judged at all.

Do some get lucky? You said you all found each other at seventeen did you all just get lucky and other people don't get that lucky and certainly not that early. Or is it something more about the way you all are built that you all made a decision that you all are going to be together these fifty two years most of us are looking at like, oh, I found the one or looking for the one and sold me all this kind of stuff.

Well, I mean, I guess you could say we were lucky. It's kind of by chance that we met. Know, we met at church, and actually we've known each other since we were what twelve years old, and we're both from big Catholic families, and so Jones family would sit on one side of the church with her eight brothers and sisters, and then I would sit on the other side with my five brothers and sisters. And over time, you know, we went to CCD, so we were going to religious education,

I knew lots of Mikes I did. I said, which mic are you? Oh no, But when you told me, I was like, that's the mic that I would want to hear. And the rest is history.

Yes, I mean the first date. My I couldn't drive yet, so I was not quite yet. Oh yeah, that was I was not quite yet sixteen, so I didn't have a driver's license. So my dad had to drive us over, pick you up, and take us to a dance at the high school, and then take us home and then take take me home. So it was not exactly, you know, the way you might envision a first date with your dad driving, you know.

No kiss at the front door, no exactly, you know.

I always remember some of the sweet stories I heard, and I think maybe I took for granted how special you all were from the very beginning, because it just kind of when you see that your whole life. I was raised with a lot of love, and I saw you all. Your relationship was always remarkable to me. My friends and I would be grossed out at your public displays of affection.

When I was in high school, it was so embarrassed. I was like, oh, my gosh, keep your hands off each other. Oh, it was so I think that's why part of the reason why I said I didn't like PDA, because I was like, ew. But anyway, I can look at it now and say, oh, yeah, you guys would chase each other around the house, giggling and laughing, and when you were a nice girls, all the time you'd be kissing. Oh it's awesome now. At the time, it did not seem awesome, But it's incredible now, especially with

My grandpa was a tough man, and he would get in trouble for whatever reason, and he would lose car privileges, and I remember dad Mom telling me or Dad explaining that he would have to run over the bridge separating your two towns and run how many.

Miles was it Dad.

It was about three and a half to.

See mom and then run back to That was the way they could see each other if he was in trouble. But I remember Mom kind of saying the same thing to me. She said, find a guy who will run three and a half miles to see you, to be with you, no matter what. Like if a man likes you, if you're with the right person, he will walk on water to get to you.

And that's when my mom fell in love with him. When she would see him run over and she was like, go get him some water, get his shirt off and put in the dry I mean, it's just.

Yeah, you were no, no, you were literally making a three mile run to her. You didn't walk it.

No, No, I ran, I ran, No I ran.

And to remind folk, you ran your first marathon at what age?

What's fifty four?

It's pretty cool, right, Dad and I were talking about this today because or last night, because I was thinking like, oh, I'm kind of I don't know how many more marathons I have in me, and my dad said, remember I ran my first marathon at fifty four, and.

Your last one, Berlin was what you were at sixty nine. That's amazing.

That's incredible.

That was a really really cool way to if you don't really run anymore, right, Dad.

Not much. I just had my right hip replaced about two months ago.

There he goes.

So it's not a it's not a it's not a sport or a passion. You can continue for the rest of your life. Unfortunately for most people.

I think I'll find a way. He's going to get the other one done, and then I suspect he's going to be out the door.

Well funny, no marathons though, Well.

Fun story though, Dad, because you came to cheer me on the first New York City It's the first marathon I ever ran, was the New York City Marathon, and you, I think, got a little bit of the running bug back in you, and you went and got your knees replaced, right, so that you could then run in Berlin?

Is am I wrong?

I didn't get my knees replaced. I had meniscus surgery.

Okay, sorry, that was a little bit more dramatic. See I am dramatic. But you had a surgery because you were remotivated to run again. And then I convinced you, well, if.

You remember after that marathon. We went down to that beer hall and so yes, yes, and everybody was, you know, going, m poppa, um poppa, Let's run Berlin, Let's run Berlin. And I inadvertently said, okay.

So that's one of the reasons why I love some liquid courage every now and then.

Yes, that was at a Houston hall. Yes, I remember that, and we made the plan to Berlin. The pandemic happened, so we had to wait a year, but I was I remember just being so impressed. And even now as I'm gosh, I'm fifty one, but think about sixty nine. If I want to complain about aching this or that, I think about what you did in Berlin.

It's remarkable.

How is the hip now? You feel better? All good?

And the right hip, which has been replaced, has no pain at all, and the left hip will be replaced soon.

He's got like sixteen years you will have sixteen year old hips. And he says like, I feel like I'm.

A kid, so sixteen, which I'm sure you appreciate that he has sixteen year old hips.

I would like to get sixteen year old. Oh and mom, I know your recovery. How are you doing? Because you also took You took a nasty fall. Yeah. I was the worst pain that I've ever been in my life, for several reasons that I won't get into now. I fell while I was standing straight up, and I fell and hit my shoulder and my head, and as soon as I did, I thought I did something really bad here. So I had to crawl to the back door because she's outside and I'm just yelling help. That's when you

Have you always as Robot always been, it is it. I don't think your accident prone, but she's always ends up in the hospital for some reason. But it's always a big reare. It's not like I nick the finger.

It's like I have cancer, cancer, or I have a terotoma.

Something serious. He always had surgery and in and out and had issue when she was a little girl.

No, she didn't have any, but as she got older. But yeah, when when when you talk about the time that you called Eric to tell him that you had a tarat tellman response to her, Yes, So, by the way, I don't think I was ever in the hospital before I had a baby, just so you know. So I wasn't accident. Pro it's their fault. Yes, they started a whole Yes, you're right. We can't get into that later.

But you're right, it's always the kid's fault, right.

So I my brother's a doctor, and I found out that I had They told me I had a tarotoma. I had to have surgery, and I didn't know what it was. Did we have Google back then, No, I don't think so. So I called Eric and he started laughing so hard. I was like, why are you laughing. He's like, because when you go to medical school, this is the one thing that is the grossest, nastiest, weirdest tumor you can possibly have. And he was just he could. He was saying this through tears of laughter as.

A brother would and does he thought it was the funniest thing, and I just I was like, wait, but like, this isn't that unusual?

Where He's like, no, it's it actually is really rare. And I said, well, what is so awful about this tumor? And he could barely get it out. It has like teeth and eyeballs and hair like it's like warped DNA that's gonna ride. It's growing inside of you, And he could barely speak.

He was like, you should see our producer's face in the room. You're describing this. Yeah, and you if you know I sing the move horror movie malignant have you?

But the thing is this one was growing on a main vein on my ovary, and so they were worried. It was growing rapidly, so if it twisted, that was the concern. It can actually cut off your blood supply and you can drop dead.

So I don't you know what. So here's the deal. I was freaked out. What's my brother told me stop Mike co Ancher. At the time, I was at MSNBC and I happened to be pregnant with Anna at the same time, so we had to wait like six months before I could get this. They had to wait. They didn't.

They had to measure it every three weeks because if it got big enough, they were going to have to go in for surgery while I was pregnant, which is dangerous. So they wanted to wait, obviously until I had the baby. So the whole time both of these things were growing inside of me, and my co anchor, Randy Meyer said, he named him Mobley.

He goes, how's Mobley doing? And I was like, can you stop? So I had told Annelie she had.

An evil twin brother growing next to her. No, it's all funny, but it's I asked.

The doctor when they took it out, did you see it? I didn't want to. Eric ask me to have them take it, and he'd like to put it in a jar.

It.

I was so freaked out. I didn't want to look. They told me they assured me and didn't have teeth. They were lying, honey. It was like, just tell me it didn't have teeth. No, I didn't want to see it. I was freaked out. We were planning for another grandchild. I don't know anyone else who said to Tara Tonema either so it's so embarrassing. Yes, I know when I go into NYU for you know, you go in for the checkps. I think I've had several doctors say, wow,

Did you all think, and still sitting here, think that so much of the issue, so many of the issues she's had medically over the years were absolutely related to the way she was living, how she was working, the stress she was under. Do you think those two things are related?

We did, but specific things like a teratoma or your heart, your heart problem I I would contribute to. But I didn't know it made sense that it was your extremely busy life, you know, migranine headaches, yes, and cancer, unhappiness and cancer and then yeah, I'm getting there. There's a lot to go through. No, but some of the things, you know, you couldn't help. I mean, but maybe your heart procedure could have sure been exacerbated by stress. But no, I just we always were there.

Well, you always said to me, Amy, slow down. You said that to me all the time, And I was like never going to happen. Look at me now, Yeah, I just I couldn't sit still.

But you're part of the You had to sit still for a year.

Wait, we had we had to sit still for a year.

But now you are you? Are you ready to get to be crazy again? I got it crazy you or adventurous, but as there some part about you that you now feel settled or calm in some way, because anytime you say it to me, like oh, well she's with Mina, I don't want that part of you to be gone just because you're in a relationship with me.

You've said that a couple of times, you know, like I've joked like I missed some hiking. But it's really not the end of the world.

The truth is, it's crazy that this dramatic, unthinkable situation was the catalyst for me to actually find peace, which seems strange and maybe.

The opposite of what you think would happen. But I'm feeling peace. I feel joy in a different way.

It's not because I'm being stimulated or I'm I'm I'm attaining or achieving something. See, I think a lot of it was all about what I can climb that mountain, I can, and I love crossing finish line, but the joy came from accomplishment and the getting there, like getting the goal, created the distraction from dealing with my life.

So yes, we were forced.

I was forced to sit and be quiet and think about my choices, how I've acted, how I operate, and realized that none of it was working. And I've been doing and I'll continue, hopefully for the rest of my life to do that deep searching and realize that joy comes from within, it doesn't come from outside sources. And that's what I think I was always trying to avoid and I'm still working on it.

But being with the right person absolutely creates a balance, and it gives you that safety. When you feel safe, you can relax, and I don't think I ever felt that way before. Now, Yeah, I totally agree. Safety to

Yeah, I don't think I ever really realized how important that was. I always felt like I and look, I'm all about It's got to come from me. I'm the one who has to be whole. I'm the one who has to create my own balance in my life. But the dynamics you have with people absolutely affects your inner psyche in a lot of ways, and to say that it doesn't is not being truthful.

It absolutely does.

So, yes, we can do our own work, but who we surround ourselves with is very important.

And I want to go back out. I don't think I've actually asked you all in private this, So.

Now you're gonna do it in bubble?

Yeah, I guess so. But I say that because we to be honest. Once we get together and we hang out, we usually like to talk about other stuff. We don't want to go back and talk about the dark days, if you will. But going back to November thirtieth of twenty twenty two, when that article came out, you all were sitting in a different position from the public in that you all at least had a handle on You

Yeah, we were totally adjusted to that one.

Okay, so let me ask let me start with that first, just the idea and the thought your reaction when knowing your daughter again you feel bad for her, what was going to be going through another divorce? Now, initially, how did you all take that news?

You mean news of the divorce or the divorce.

Yeah, so that was in summer that twenty twenty.

That that did not bother us at all. I mean we had reconciled ourselves and we had told Amy that we totally supported her in leaving that marriage, So that was not an issue at all for us.

So then we the November thirtieth, the article comes out that there that we were exposed that we were in a relationship. Now, how did you all and just tell me how that initial reaction. Well, there was a lot of ways to go with that, because you could have been upset that what was happening to her publicly, upset about work, or upset that she would put herself in a position to be dating her co anker. So what was you all's reaction.

To that that it? I mean, for me, it was, this is way too fast. You know, we would have much preferred that the divorce has been made known publicly and been finalized, you know, before you all became a couple. Yeah, I mean that would have been our preference.

It was it was ours too, by the.

Way, but we were shocked. We were in the car drive almost at the airport and Amy sent us a link. Did you know read this before you come, or something to that effect. I just wanted you to hear it from me first before someone else texted you or you just happened to see it. I wanted to make sure you knew I was letting you know what was going on. Thank you. I read it aloud, and neither want of us said anything, just like I got nothing. And then we got in the plane, said nothing, got back checked

It scared me because normally you all have opinions right away, and so to not hear from you and to have you pass on dinner, I was like, I mean, I was panicked that night.

Well, we had an opinion.

You are trying to.

We we were praying about, you know, how do we best communicate this and how can we put ourselves in a position to show you our love and our support, but do it in a meaningful.

Way, And you did because so yes that night. I woke up the next morning and I remember, Mom, you sent an incredibly thoughtful text, and I remember just feeling my whole body just relaxed. And from that moment on, I know you all prayed that night and you took your time, which is actually something that I need to always do better at, because to react verbally to how you're feeling emotionally is usually not.

Ever a good thing. And when you can.

Give yourself a beat where you pray, meditate, whatever it is you do, just to really take your time to choose your words and to think about what your.

Intent is, what you want. I'm not great at that, but you all did that that night, and we're old, honey, you're a lot older than you are, so not that much just nineteen year Ye, that's true. But when you did respond, it was and I don't like this word, but it was perfect. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

And then from that moment on you came over, because I went to work that day and you came over, and you were the two of you were my rocks from that moment on, and I remember being so upset that you were in town when this was all happening. And then I remember the next day thinking, thank God they were here when all of this was happening. So that was everything. And so I actually, just hearing you retell that story, it makes me. I'm constantly trying to remind myself be better at not immediately.

Responding take a beat. Teacher's really good at that, I will say, but it's you know, it's not my instinct, but it's the right thing to do, right and for us to say, you know what, we really didn't talk about it the whole first day or night because it's just like we just didn't know what to say. To you, even to each other. Yeah, so both said let's pray

So I think you had a divine revelation. I do too, you know, I truly do believe that. Yeah, it was a divine revelation that you had that you told me about.

Did you say you text a link to them?

I think I think I wanted them to read it because I knew, but you.

Your first thing was, hey, I need to tell you something. Our heads up, I need to call it. You just sent the link.

Well, they were on the plane. I couldn't call them. We're in the car. Oh but you were super busy, you were.

I think we were dealing with ABC, we were dealing with PR, we were dealing with lawyers, we were dealing with.

I can, but I can't imagine your parents getting a message say hey, read this and then no kind of follow up or no.

You need to read this before you land in New York.

Oh she did that dramatic thing.

Oh well, she also went doune them dumb.

Oh my god, you did this to me the other day on the phone.

I do, I get.

I have some very visceral emotional reactions sometimes to things that don't necessarily fit what's actually happening.

In this case, it was warrants it.

I did not know that they were alerted just by a link versus, Hey, mom and Dad need to tell you something blah blah blah bla blah blah blah. And here's the link that just came out. You just hear the link, read this before you land.

I mean, I did, I give you a warning saying something something off us happened and I need you to read this before you come.

So it was like, oh, no, you know so yeah, yeah. My dad always told us to when we were growing up. Do not react.

Act.

Don't react to somebody. Act, make a decision on how you want to respond to somebody, and you do the acting. And that always kind of stuck with us. By the way, I'm sorry I gave you all the dramatic flare because it came from me, and everything you're saying of me, just just ask does it get better? Mom? Does it get better when you get older? Do you learn how to control and curb that. I don't know, do you really want to?

Huh? So you're at this point?

Keeps it interesting?

And did you all want like you said, Buffo Rovoc, you were I thought it was too fast and all that makes sense. But were you surprised that she was dating me? Not as a co anchor, but okay, I could understand. Did you see were you totally shocked that the two of us would end up dating?

Well, we could see your on camera chemistry, you know, and we had spent enough time with you all that you know, we knew that you guys were in sync in a lot of ways. I think the romantic part was a little bit of a shock. I mean I

It, and also what you've been going through Amy, so that also was like Yep, it all fit. So yes, Mom and Dad knew.

I mean, look, there are only a few people we've talked about this who knew what was happening in my private life, and you all were had front row seats. And so I would say, Nikki and the two of you, my best friend NICKI, who's been on the podcast.

Had front row seats in a way that no one else did. I was very good at putting out a certain image and a certain front, which I've talked about, which you know, I it's an awful way to live because you not living your truth and you're projecting or presenting what you wish was the case versus what actually is the case, or protecting yourself in some way. Yeah, and it's it's ego.

It's a lot of things, you know. It's not like all altruistic or something. I mean it definitely you don't.

I don't want people to know my mess. I don't want people to know. I want people to think things are good.

But you all did have a front row seat for a very long time, and so you were very supportive about my decisions. I just didn't let you in on what was happening and developing between TEAJ and me. But Mom, you even said, you know, you always saw our friendship, and I know you always spoke and you guys always spoke highly of it. You all loved watching us on

So I don't know.

I mean, I know you all have had, like I said, a real insight into my life and who I am and the right person for me. I don't know if you ever even thought about who that would be or what that person would look like or be like or seem like.

What do you like?

And you haven't spent a ton of time with us. It's a couple of but work coming up on our two years here, Yeah, gift time t J. I was a hint, but yeah, in August it'll be you know, end of August will be two years since we've been You know that we made a decision to have a relationship, and we did make that decision.

So I mean, what do you see? What do you think? How do you let me ask you this? How do you think I am now? How have I changed? And how would you describe me. Now, that's easy. You're so much more settled. You're also so much more happy. I mean, you're just happy. I haven't seen you happy in quite a while. So, yeah, you're a happy person. You have a glow about This sounds corny, but you do. And when you talk. You have fewer friends, but the friends you have are the friends you know, and the right

So do you remember saying that was at your birthday? There was a birthday in August last summer.

Then it was like right about a year.

We were down in Athens. You after the dinner we had down there, it was outside when I heard you say, he said, I got my Ami back. You said that I got my Amy back. And I didn't fully comprehend what that meant at the time, but you you went on and were speaking about how she's a different type of joy from her child, your child. You talked about her in that way that night. I'll never forget that.

Now you're gonna make me cry. We've got tissues. I've already dabbled, no I'm sure I said that because that's exactly how I felt, because we lost you for a while. I mean, we'd stay in touch, but it was you were very guarded and we could feel it. So yeah, I was so lovely to have our daughter back.

Yeah. There's a sense of freedom, I think, and a sense of contentment that you didn't have before. It seemed like, and we talked about this earlier, always seemed to be searching for something, you know, and maybe that was going places and searching for something. Well, you know, it seemed to us that you found it, Yeah, and that that contentment and that joy was coming back, you know, to when you were younger.

It's one of those amazing things when I've always seen your relationship and it's not perfect at all. Oh it is, It's perfect. Come on, But I've always seen this, like like you all are a team, and I've always wanted a teammate, and I've always seen that, like through all the tough times, you guys stick together. Even when Eric and I would try to divide and conquer, like we wanted to get what we wanted, it never worked.

You guys were rock solid. It wasn't you know, go ask your mom. Or ask your dad, it was did your mom? What did your mom say? What did your dad say? And then you always backed each other up, even if you disagreed about it and talked about it behind, you know, closed doors, in front of.

Us, you were a solid front. And I think maybe I was so spoiled or like always wanted that and could never Like it's hard to find a teammate, it's hard to find someone who you can especially when you've got kids and crazy lives, like to not have that person who you can count on to back you up. I think that I saw that in you.

Two, and talk about safety, that's part of it, right, knowing you've got that person who's going to back you up.

I was looking for that and I found it.

What was that like? Is it different for a dad than a mom watching your You're hearing her say it now, but when you watch your daughter go through that or express it now, it's like Dads, I mean, I got girls, little girls. As it means eleven that you always feel like some kind of a protector.

Well yeah, I mean I think that's kind of a natural feeling. But I would say that the philosophy we had in raising both of our kids was to prepare them to go out in life on their own and providing that foundation and that moral compass, if you will, you know, to go out and to live your life and not to be dependent, but to know that we're there, we love them, and to be supportive but not to enable.

I think if you look at both your parents, your parents and my parents raise us like that. Very there were so many kids. I don't think my parents had a choice, but it was we knew what to do. We knew what you were supposed to do. We need to get it first of all, in turn sixteen, you need to get a job. So there were certain expectations that were there in my family, my parents, and in Mike's parents, and we were raised pretty much the same way.

Something she said to me, she said, you, oh, were always and correct me if I'm wrong here. But growing up they made clear that they put themselves in their relationship first, like you are kids, yes, but it was something that was the way we put it that this relationship, our marriage is what's first, and you kids are yes.

Yes.

I mean I think they kind of said that, like, you know, we love you and we will always love you, but we come first. Our marriage comes first, our marriage comes before, like and that was it sounds.

I think people might hear that and say what, but it actually was comforting to us as kids, like I knew my place first.

Of all, did you though, Well, I put I pushed as much as I could. But but and then some yes, But I don't hear many people say yes, I was the problem child.

And obviously I've continued the theme.

But I don't think you hear many people say that that they put their marriage ahead of like not that you're like not loving your kids, but if there.

Was now go on vacation for like a month and just leave you guys, no, do you know.

You all were joke, always there and structured. But it was just like, our marriage is the most important thing in this family unit.

Well, I think people have to recognize, you know, husbands and wives need to recognize that they have their kids for maybe eighteen to you know, twenty three years, and then.

They're adults and they're gone and they never come there on their own.

It's really yeah, and you know they may come and see you, and they may not.

Even now I've got this huge meal prepared. It's like we just stand there and wait for somebody to comment, and we do.

We're always looking out the window, you know, where are they?

Where they go?

But no, I think that's that's true. I mean, you know, fifty two years versus you know, eighteen to twenty three years. I mean, and the fifty two years are you know, they're they're mounting up. You know, we're going to continue on. So yeah, so we we we love one another. We are partners and we've always been partners, and that has to come first. And I think that's set's an example for your children then too, so what their expectations should be.

We still loved and do now love our children unconditionally. You've proven that.

My last thing, of course, we have to do. She knows where I'm going. Already you said that she was the problem child, and Vins I never said.

I just said, and then it's okay, I take it.

I take and part of the problem child was right. She has a flair for the dramatic, as you described, but part of her being dramatic, one of her go tos was the slamming of the door she was. I thought, so do you take when does she start this as a kid? And it continued up to a point, and we're gonna take it up to that point. But when why was this a thing of her slamming doors?

It was her way of showing that maybe we weren't in charge, that maybe she was in charge, and it was maybe a control thing for her. Uh. And it was one of those I think emotional reactions instead of an intellectual reaction.

I think you might be right, and usually geared toward which one of us. I don't know. I think, who do you think it was? Mom? I know who it was, because you and your dad would get into some arguments. I'm silly. I mean he had you grounded in college. Yeah, which is that that's not gonna work. I was grounded on my sixteenth birthday and I think I got grounded for up to six weeks, like and you. And when you grounded me, you did not go you know what,

What was her usually her offense that got her grounded?

Oh well, this particular offense, there were a couple of things. One member, she had a bedroom up at the top floor of the house that was all by itself, a bedroom and a bathroom, so it was up by itself, and she moved up there and had a telephone in her room, and she figured out something I don't know what it was with call waiting, so that she could take the phone off the hook and then people would call.

And I can tell you what I did.

I called my I worked at a party supply store. I knew it was closed, so and I knew I had a plan for friends to call. This is what we had to do when we didn't have cell phones and texting, and I wanted to meet up and probably sneak out of the house because I was grounded, So I would set up a I don't know how I set up a time for I knew they'd probably call me after like eleven or midnight, when I was clearly

Pretty ingenious. But so she also then would would always close the door and keep the door closed, and we kept saying, no, you need to have lock it and lock it, so don't open the door, keep the door open. You don't need to be closing the door all the time. And I think at one point she said, okay, fine, and she walked back into the room and just slammed the door shut. Boom, just slammed it shut. And so I went up there and made her open and closed the door.

I don't know if it was one hundred fifty, it.

Could have been fifty, could have been und a lot.

It was from my mother. So I passed that on as punishment because I evidently was a door slammer as well. And the phone, it's not your fault.

Open open and close the door and get up, you know, forty nine times forty nine, and then the fiftieth one she would just take it and slam it shut.

So eventually I.

Then decided to come up with my tools and remove the door. So we removed the phone jack and we removed.

Yes, how old was this child at the time, sixteen seventeen maybe sixteen.

Seven, sixteen.

Did she ever get the door back in her high school days?

Yeah, I think eventually, you know, it may have been six months.

It was a while. It was a long time. No, I did not.

I did learn the lesson, I will say that much. But I think a lot of my are problems and me getting grounded, like for extended periods of time was because I talked back. My dad would say, don't say another word, and I was like, I'm going to say it anyway. And then he's like, way, now you have another week. And I'm like, really, let's just keep going. My Dad's like, okay, let's make.

It two weeks. And so it would just that's what would happen. And I would and my brother would look at me, you are so dumb. Just stop talking, like he's like, why do you do that to yourself?

I'd inspire a lot of control. You had this this sense of you wanted justice for what you felt justice should be, and that's not the way it works.

I lost you were just as stubborn as at the two of you are like, Wow, I have to say I got this one.

I got my emotional dramatic flare from you, and I got my stubbornness from dad.

See not my fault.

Thanks guys. It does wonders for us at home. No, I've heard that Hinge story for solo. I have one question about it. Did she counting out loud? Are you watching her while she's doing it?

Or no? We could just hear she had to count out one due forty nine and then fifty bad. I have to say it felt really good.

Still to this day, she still feels like that's just.

I kind of might do it again.

She's Oh, and then my oldest ava inherited it too, so yes, it's been passed along.

So again, you all are in town now because actually it's part of time we are at least her graduation is high school graduation. You all are in town for that. I know that's a big, a good time in a family time. There's a lot being planned, and I know it's a lot you all are looking forward to. And I know you all have been through a lot the past year and a half. And yeah, I had a hand in a lot of what you've gone through, your family's going through, and what your daughter's going through. And

Same here going to lunch and it's picking up the tab.

Well, oh him, we've been through this. It didn't go So that might be the one of the biggest mistakes I've made in your my relationship with your parents, is I paid the bill when we went to dinner, and.

Your dad and like that, well he got you back.

Well I already called ahead to the restaurant.

Thank you, guys, and if I have, I know I've said it to you privately, but I would like to say it publicly.

Thank you. Thank you for being the most amazing parents through an unimaginably tough time and just knowing that you stood by my side no matter what that was everything. So thank you. Oh, I don't even it's just in you know how you feel about your children. You die for them, you would, So that's how we felt. And I'm going to stop talking so I don't cry.

Yeah, we love you, We love you, and I think that says at all. We love you and we'll continue to love you.

Thank you, guys, Thank you for coming on the podcast. I know it's not exactly in your wheelhouse, so thank you. We appreciate it.

It is now. Oh repeat, guests, we got it once a year update with the robots