Love Stories: Mary and Romain Bonnet

This is Amy and TJ Love Stories.

Mary and Romayne join us now from Los Angeles. Welcome and thank you all for being with us. How are you doing. How're it to you today?

We're good, Yeah, we're good, loving kind of la.

Tell me this is wedding bliss still a thing for you guys? Is that a far fetched idea or wedding bliss is real?

I will go first. Okay, So I think that we both have found our way in our relationship. I think it took a couple of years. We fought for a couple of years, and then now we're just like go to our own corners, like if we have that day, if we have something. We kind of found our way where we're like, Okay, I'm really tired, I gotta go to bed, or I'm like maybe I've got so much work. I'm just gonna stay in the office and we just go to our own separate corners and in the morning we're better.

Now, how long have the two have you been married?

Now?

Officially, I know you met and got married within a year, but how long have you been married?

Uh?

We used to it's been seven and halve.

Okay, I'm curious because we don't. We don't see that a lot. Usually it's the woman given the guy a hard time for not remembering. So, Mary, what are you the one who just said he's better remembering.

I'm like such a guy. I am the absolute worst. I have those sense of time, my ADHD. I think my play part.

I'm going to blame it on that.

If it isn't that, I'm still gonna blame it on it.

I never remember, no worries, just I was just curious. There, let's get to the official list. Now, we're going to go to our official list of the questions we asked every couple, and we started with this. Both of you know what. Romaine, I'll start with you on this one. Five words or less describe your relationship today.

Uh?

Well, I was still loving fun in.

That was fine.

That works.

Loving fun can be intense. We'll take it.

That's exactly fine.

Mary.

How about you?

I think.

Trusting also intense and.

Frustrating appreciate.

Uh what what makes it frustrating?

Life? I think just life. We actually get along very very well. We always get along very well. We've learned to manage I think our lifestyles. But we have difficult lifestyles like I mean we are in the middle of, yeah, the public eye, where everyone's trying to tear us apart. Even production is trying to like twist like scenarios, and everyone has an opinion, and so we just get a backlash of a lot of things. I'm much more emotional than he is, and so I think everything very personally.

And it's happed to me so too. When I see her getting so afflicted by like stuff like that sometimes and then I don't really know what to say because I do not get affected by it.

So sometimes I'm.

Like, I don't want to look like, you know, you don't care, like I don't care, because I do.

That's frustrating when it looks like it doesn't care. I'm like, really, I don't care, like I.

Do, but by her being bothered by it than the actual fact, you know, And so you know, I don't know sometimes what to say. It's set in moments just because I don't want to look like I don't care. But I'm like, well, would you let those people want what are you gonna do? Because no matter who you are, what you say, always someone doesn't have something to say about.

It's the French, right, I logically know that, but mostly it doesn't feel like that.

So we weren't supposed to be giving advice, but on this one, just validate how she's feeling. You don't have to agree with how she's feeling, but just validate that.

Yes, no, and we relate. We relate so much to what you all just said. We totally get it. It's you can we you can enjoy each other, you can have your relationship. But when it's in the public eye and it's constantly fodder and people are constantly scrutinizing everything, that puts a lot of strain on a relationship, and you would know and so, and you're you're being chronicled. I mean you've got camera. How often are cameras with you all basically in your relation relationship?

Yeah, yeah, it makes it difficult. So I am proud of us for being able to just like actually be as happy as we are and just maintain our relationship. I mean, everybody has issues. Everybody, you know, just fights and bickers and stuff like that. But I feel like overall we're great. We get along very very well, we have a lot of fun, and I think overall that's where we are. But of course the public eye doesn't help.

What the public eye the public God help you know least thing.

Before we get back to the list, you all have brought up so many things we just want to talk to you all about. But we got back to the questions. But can I ask, if you take the cameras away, if you take the public eye part of it away, does your relationship improve? Is that really one of the main things, if not the thing that is causing so many problems?

I think when.

Yeah, well, he also puts so much stress on her, especially Yeah, so I think in the every day life, you know, if you took it off, she's probably would be like so much less stressed.

And then row you but like you know, or the comments and stuff like that, and then you know.

I'm a perfectionist and I just I want to be the best like version of me and stuff, and when people say and do things, it just it bugs me so much. I hate conflict, I hate like fighting, I hate like drama, and so I'm in such the wrong industry.

Reality TV might not be for you.

So yeah, I get super stressed and this poor guy, but I love them.

Thank you.

We'll get back, We'll get back to the list and let's go. We're gonna go back down to the beginning here. Question we ask everybody, who of the two of you said I love you first?

Me?

Yeah, probably a.

Very cool And how long before after you said I love you did you decide to get engaged?

It wasn't very long. Well, we started dating a week after we met, and then we moved in together three months later, and then we got married six months later and then had our wedding like a year, a year and a half after die nice?

How long I love you? How long after you started dating Romaine did you say I love you? And then how long Mary did you before you said it back?

Christians? Was beginning?

I will say three months, four months, like three nice months?

Maybe right around moving time.

Let's get together. And by the way, I love you.

I think when you said it, I probably said it right very quickly afterwards, I don't. Yeah, we have a very fast relationship.

Hey, you know what what is I know we talked a little bit about already the stress of the public eye and the cameras. But do you all have like a daily disagreement that just gets under your skin or just an issue that you can't resolve that you've just learned to live with. That's great.

Being And then.

Like severe ADHD and.

So very so.

I love when she leaves again a couple just because the house is so perfect, but I missed her.

And then as soon as she comes to say she's.

Back, yes, teaching bud so I and I think I have ADHD undiagnosed, both of us. We relate.

Okay, so see it works somehow.

Have you all ever gotten to a place now at this point in your relationship and in your marriage where you've come close to or even considered breaking up and calling it quits.

No, I think I've probably threatened. I'm like, you know what, But then but I definitely don't mean it and make up for it, like right after I say it, because I'm like, that was so dumb I.

Said that, But but no, I don't think so. I don't think there's anything that's actually ever really tested us.

Yeah, okay, let's talk about this.

Then.

How how often do you fight?

Not that often?

Because we also have like a little big different schedules really, so I leave early on the morning.

She walks from home mostly, so I leave early on the morning and I come back.

Pretty late, so we get to spend dinner and then a little bit but usually be there.

Wait, but we we can long really well, like on weekends when you are home.

I know, but that's something already.

Most like we have a different schedule, so we don't get to see shows out that much, so you.

Know, you don't have opportunities to fight. Yeah, exactly, No, over all we do, we do not.

Yeah, no, I mean, we hear from a lot of couples that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and that is a part of the key to the success of their relationship is that they're not all up in each other's spaces all the time. But that actually is a good thing. We don't know anything about that.

Yeah, do you.

Have Do you have rules when you fight?

I know, mayor you just said you you've said some things you probably shouldn't have said in the heat of battle. But we talked to some couples and said they absolutely don't use profanity, they don't threaten to leave and kinds of things. Do you'll have rules when you're getting heated.

I think for the most part, we both just like go to our corners. Yeah, for the most part, I think, like the worst case scenario is like where he ignores me and I'm like, really, it's the worst Do.

Not ignore me, Like please acknowledge what I'm saying right now. And he's like, I'm not gonna talk to you like this.

I'm like, that's not what I get no matter what I say. Usually in those situations, no matter what I say, I'm wrong. So I'm like, you're not wrong.

He's learning.

I can tell you you're doing great.

Brother. Let me ask, do you'll have this rule about it? Sounds like you all don't have it, but some couple say we refuse to go to bed angry. Some therapists will tell you to do that. Others will tell you not to do that. Yes, there, it is.

Just that think it through, sleep it up, like like just in the morning. It's always different, like in the moment you're really mad or frustrated or whatever. And I think if you just like sleep on it, wake up in the morning and you think it through again, it's like, Okay, it's not I'm still like frustrated, but it's not that big of a deal, and so to me, I would rather sleep on it. I don't want to talk right then. Otherwise I would just keep going and going.

And then he gets what he and he's so stummern he'll just like me, gets heels it and he'll just like we would. We would be horrible if we have that role, We would be absolutely horrible.

How much time, how much space you need after that initial fight before you can actually come back together and talk it through.

A couple of hours?

All right, that's good.

Have you all ever had to? Have you ever considered and have you ever been to couples therapy counseling of any kind?

We did once, but there was for something, even not because it wasn't good.

But what do you don't give?

It's good sometime to talk out like you know stuff, but like also how we.

We talked things through pretty well?

What do you think about we've we've we've done some stories on a couple of famous couples, even George Clooney and the mall. I think Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift. They both said that they never have fought like they do not fight. What do you think about couples who don't fight. Do you think that's realistic?

What?

What are your thoughts on that? Because it makes the rest of us feel like ship.

Well you're almost like, I mean, I know, well, it means that that one of them is the people pleaser.

You know, I mean, like, do you have to oh the was that thing? That one of them.

Isn't much opinion about anything, because it's impossible that the person is like exactly the same seat it was in the same way.

But you can just respect each other and each other's differences and understand like where they're coming from.

You don't have to agree with it, but you can understand it.

And then you have to buy Yeah, what did we say?

How many years of marriage?

Now?

With seven and seven and a half? Seven and a half, all right, so you've been married that long? If you my question is what's been the best year so far? If you can't give me a specific year, then tell me this the beginning, the middle, or the end where you are right now? What was the best part of your marriage so far?

But the beginning it's always like you know or like bubbly and like that.

I think every time we're on vacation is the best are like so in love. The minute we go away, we're so in love. We have the best time. We just like reconnect and it's just immediate, but we just get so wrapped up in our lives and business and us and everything like that.

You just you're just not disconnect but almost like you know, go a little are separate way. Until that's what we tried to do as much as possible likely get away.

Or or try to you know, leave to go somewhere every time we can.

Yeah, we get to reconnect and spend time actially together the property and so so that helps us.

Yeah, yeah, we've really made a point to at least at least once a year go on a big vacation and then a couple of times a year going like little staycations so that we can just or if we and I just told them the other day, I was like, maybe I think we need to get away because even like two days just going to Malibu or Santa Barbara or something like that, just get out of our normal

I actually think that's a great, a great sign because we love to people watch, and when you see a lot of couples on vacation, you don't see happy people. You see people separate, reading their books and not engaging on their phones. So it's cool, Like I feel like that's a really good sign that your favorite moments with each other are when you're alone and distracted. Most people choose the district.

I absolutely chairiship, because that's that's if we could live our entire life like that, we would be probably the happiest couple on earth.

But we don't have that life so like in our own way, and so we have business schedules, different, different schedule, and so it's true that it's not and we respect that so much about each other or hard we work, but so you know, eventually, with time, you know, we go a little bit o ways.

And then so when we get to spend actually more time together properly and you know, go to be together, wake up together every day, and then so that's much easier to reconnect.

Tell me that, what do you all think about the idea of date nights. A lot of couples have a set day Thursday. We always do it Friday. What do you all just think about the idea of it?

All the worse people?

Okay, So I am such an introvert. I do not like I have that I have to put on my work hat and my my personal hat, and I can't go on date nights because if people look at us and listen and stuff like that, I feel so uncomfortable. It was like, I have to have my workout on to be able to go out and be And I love meeting people. I love like being out doing stuff, but I have to have I'm so private. I guess I just I have to have boundaries. And when we go out, like I need to go, I need to go,

So if if if your love just blossoms and flourishes on vacation when you're at home and the mundane life just starts eating away at you, I'm curious how you divvy up responsibilities in your house? Who does the cooking, who does the cleaning, who does the laundry? How do you figure that out?

I wish that really likely.

When it's small, I would say, like, you know, it's small, depending on our schedule, and then who has time. But usually we're pretty good at you know, whoever has the time to do the laundry.

I'm doing mother cleaning usually, but she.

Even though she's the one thing at home, but no, the wors for laundry and then cooking and everything. She happens a couple of times that I come home and then she gets she sometimes she cooked something, but I order, I.

Order everything, and I have been delivered, to be fair.

Sometimes it's one times burn and egg, and so I'm like, okay, safer for me.

We had a couple of things she does amazingly, but you know, keep it sure.

Yeah, And of course we asked every couple of this as well. How do you divvy up finances in the house? One account, two accounts, three accounts? How does it work for you guys?

We have sparate account we have. My ex husband kind of traumatized me from that, and so I found bankruptcy and had to do all these things like he saw all the money and stuff like that, and and wracked up a bunch of stuff in my name, and so I will not share an account with anybody ever again. And I was like, maybe I love you. I trust you, but just for peace of mind, I need my own

I didn't account because for me, I mean like I never thought it, you know. And then I was up to you know, keeping like.

This because we had an account we opened and together TAAs and then you know, if we received some extracuse, but use it.

Yes, you just have separate, separate expenses. We share certain expenses, but we just have separate accounts.

Yeah, yep, very modern way. And once you've been burned once, that makes a lot of sense.

All right.

When it comes to family, I know you all have been very open about your fertility journey, but how important is it for you right now to have kids together?

We've got you're for a baby.

Yeah, we tried, and unfortunately, I mean, I don't think that's in the cards for us. I have a septum in the middle of my uterus and I didn't know that. I have no idea how I had my son because it's basically your miracle. But they said I can't carry a child, a child full term unless I have it removed. However, it would take so like it would have scar tissue and it takes along the heel. And I'm already forty five, so it's not really going to happen unless we adopt

But is that something at the beginning of your relationship and your marriage was something that was very important and you all talked about, we're gonna go for this, Well.

We uh did no, really, I mean she knew that I wanted and then.

I didn't really want to in the beginning. But if I had my son when I was fifteen, and like I've been there, done that, but then I was like, okay, you know what, let's do it because I want to make him happy. I wanted the family with him.

But now you know, yeah, and I didn't.

I never also wanted to press on her in a way that she would be boy that I would leave, for example, if you know, she would not be okay to have babies or could not, so you know, it was it was.

That which wired the Unfortunately we couldn't. And so if this whole process, you know, we'll take sometimes and then doesn't even mean that after that we still will be able to, you know, get one so and but she forgot this little boy.

No, And I know so many couples appreciate just you being vulnerable and open about that because this it's people think it's just an assumption that you can and it's not always the case. So like, there are a million things that happen, and and look, there's an age difference between the twov there's an age difference between us as well. I'm the older I'm the older woman, you're the older woman. There's is it twelve years we are well, I say four years, he says five. We're exactly four and I'm

Well, people always have something to say, so now not why it much, But I don't think that we have. We don't see it just as a couple. We don't see the age difference. Besides, when it comes to I think the child thing and where I'm like, I'm forty five, I mean it's it's just it's it really limits you. And he's so young enough that that's where we see it. Otherwise he's very mature.

Yeah, and we have a first starting and everything, especially when and then he's a.

Gold digger and like I'm an old tag and all these things. Like everybody just has things to say. But once they saw us get married, once they saw like other things happened. Now they're nicer about it.

But so many people were saying, like, oh, I was working for you.

Yeah, yeah, people are pretty but yeah.

So many people were thinking that it was just for the money, for the fame.

That well he won't and so that she was getting mad. I'm not for what you say.

I'm like, I don't know mad about things they say. I get mad when they say things about him. I'm like, that's not true.

I mean they don't know us. Well.

Yeah, well and so and then how much of that was Did your families have anything to say about it? Did your friends have anything to say about it? Or is it just negative attention from the public.

Uh? No, our families we both get along with each other's families very very well. We're very close. Uh, and yeah, we.

Love each other's families. They love each other. We all spend a lot of time together, all of our friends.

Yeah they love him, like, yeah, we all that. That was never a problem. It's just it's just the public.

And tell tell us now about the role of friendship in your relationship. Robes and I were absolutely on hundred best friends before we ever started dating, and a lot of couples get together and then after a few years or something said yeah, this is my best friend. Tell me, though, what the role of friendship, what it plays in your relationship.

Well, I think it's really important.

You want to be able to be like to be like confidence and then of like you know.

Comfortable and everything like that. I think it's like because I feel like lost when you first meet somebody that goes away, like like after a while, you want to keep like the fire burning and do all these things. But that initial just lust because a way you have to have a foundation, a base, and and that like best friend, you want to tell them everything. You want

You're not gonna want to I don't know.

Maybe some people are like yeah.

But I feel like, yeah, you want to see the person constantly that you're happy and we there to come home like you just knowing that you're gonna see them, and yeah that matters.

Oh yeah, I mean.

Like a good friendship. It's weird, like, is it still the same as when you first met.

Yeah, it's weird for us that I actually say to her sometimes, can we just be friends today? Like we had so much time as a friendship that then the romantic relationship is a bonus and it's nice. But I like hanging out with my best friend and being strictly a buddy. Yes, she was my best friend before we ever started dating, so we were.

He was the person I was like, if I could do anything with like go to a movie, go to a concert, go and do anything, sit at a school board meeting, He'd be the person who I wanted to sit next to me regardless, just as a friend. Because we cut up together. We have the same sense of dark humor. I think that has been one of the

But that's where we're solid.

It's true, though, it's awesome.

I love that.

It's comforting. I think in those moments when it comes to romance though, because that still is obviously a very important part of being in a relationship. How what do you do? Do you do anything to actively try to keep the spark alive?

But as I feel like what we say, like we said, it's like one we travel and everything we became, we always like come back and be much closer with each other and like fun even more, you know, like you get back like a you know, attraction and then you know when I see that person more and you know, you might team together, you know, just to be able to spend time and go eat together, experience new stuff so you know, and discover a new places, you know if you travel, you know oversea.

So I think that's what you know gets us like much closer.

And yeah, and there's part of it is all on me because I have like trauma from something that happened before. So I have to go back to therapy and do different things sometimes because of something that happened. So when I start feeling I'm like, yeah, yeah, that Thomas kicking back, and I'm like, I gotta.

Something happens with you that you know is impacting your relationship with Romaine. So you go get it checked out. What is that thing?

Well, I was.

Raped and so that how does that impact your relationship now?

Yeah with Romayne, even though you've been married seven plus years.

Yeah, yeah, but it's it's not anything And then E M D R and stuff like that, because it's not anything.

I it's it's just like a physical reaction. It's not anything that has anything to do with him. He's the best guy ever and so patient and so like. But it's just a physical response that your body just holds on to trauma and you just have to, like I do I realize sometimes I'm like, oh, I if he comes up and just like and I just like jump, and I'm like, wait, that makes him feel bad and and I don't mean to like, it's just a response from something that happened. And so I you know, when

So they're basically, thank you so much for that answer.

I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to.

Get us nothing.

Thank you for being honest about it.

I'm just like honest about about and once again, obviously that is super helpful to so many people who are survivors and drivers despite that, and it does seep into your relationship. Anything you've been through you bring with you, You bring that trauma with you, and so that's I think that's amazing. You talk about it, You're getting therapy constantly for it. I'm always in therapy as well. I'm a work in progress, I'm always always I'm the same way.

I think probably in my opinion, it's like appreciate and respect the person for who they are, Like you can't change, you don't want to change, and you don't want to like you have to love and respect them and accept your partner for who they are. Because then it's like compromises all and stuff that that's all like small things that come along with it.

But when I evolve, you know, together as you are in the relationships, you learn or to how to walk together, or to live together and stuff like that. So these things that you're going to be able to manage and and you know, evolve a little bit about the relationship. But I'm patient, Yeah, ultimately, like you know, you're not going with someone like thinking, Okay, I'm gonna compare to change that person and I want her to do this and that and that.

So you have to be okay with who they are at first, and you know.

Let me try it on the flip side of the way she asked it. That was the key to you all success. That's working for you all as you all look at other couples and you see them, what do you see other couples the mistakes that they are making, and you're like, oh my god, come on, even maybe some couples that are out there in the public eye, maybe friends around you. But if you had a chance to talk to every couple in the country right now,

Don't? I don't know if I have an opinion. Everybody is different. You don't have an opinion. I'm sure.

I'm trying to think about it's who I'm like, I don't really, I don't care, but like, you know, what you want.

Like everyone's business.

So I'm like, you know, if someone asks me what we do and stuff like that, you know, I can straighten my pinion. But I usually don't like try to get into people's business, you know what I mean, unless they ask me their opinion, but something.

But otherwise, just like you know, you do you do me.

I guess the only thing I can think of off the top of my head is like when you try to control the couples try to control each other. I think that's just a recipe for disaster. Like you have to give each other space. You have to let each other be who who you are and and respect that and don't respect each other's time away. Like I just went with my sister.

I was like, mabe, I'm gonna go with my sister to the mountains and he's like when I was like tomorrow, okay, but it works, like and it's really real first and he goes skiing with the boys and stuff like that too.

You just need that time. You just have to give each other, I think, freedom to just beat yourselves to to have fun. You can't control the other person otherwise it just I think it backfires. The more you try to control, the more like you lose.

You have to have respect, especially me as a guy. You know, for girls like this, stuff like that that will.

Never agree with, like you know what people do, will say or do that, it's just because you should respect it.

You know a girl then so I think this is really important.

We have absolutely loved talking to the two of you. It's been so fun just to hear how you navigate life and the spotlight and all the pressure, the age difference. But I think this is all. But it's it's inspiring to see two people come together and figure from two different parts of the world, two different cultures. It's inspiring to see how you all make it work.

What are the couple goals for twenty twenty six?

A couple of goals for twenty twenty six as a couple.

What are your goals for twenty twenty six?

That's what our goal always is. And Safari, Yeah, that's a really big one that we want to do. It's always traveled because we just.

Yeah, we have making times to get it.

Yeah, and you and but it opens our eyes to.

We love traveling like new things, new places, new food, new people.

So it's so yeah, So because that's fantastic. You will you will in you work this hard, but fun is a priority and being together away from all this is a priority and that we absolutely respect. And you all have set a couple goal for us for twenty twenty six. We look up to you all for that reason we're trying to do more of that ourselves. So congrats on everything that's and that continues to come your way.

It is an absolute treat to.

Talk to you too, you too, Are you all really quickly?

Are you all doing?

Is it season ten of Selling Sunset?

Yeah, it's happening next month in March.

All right, well, good luck with all that work life balance.

We're gonna be watching closer now that we know you guys looking for little things in the show

Now much loved you both, Thank you, thank you.