From Jingle Ball to Jingle Ball

Hey, the folks. In this episode, we are coming off one of the absolutely most exhausting and exciting weeks of our entire year, book ended by a couple of jingle balls and highlighted by family milestones and a dash of holiday anxiety. And with that, welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ Robes. It felt like we bet off more than we could chew at times over the past week. But if you realize it's all started. The first thing we put on our schedule months ago was December fourteenth.

Yes, we had a wedding to go to that we were very excited about, and we thought, you know what, who doesn't love a holiday ish wedding? So we said yes right off the bat, and you're right, that was on on our list. And then wow, did our dayance card built up from jingle ball to jingle ball basically, so we also got word of those exciting iHeart events

For us, was it.

Yeah, it was going to be our one.

Year anniversary of making our red carpet debut, so one in LA last year.

We have a lot of them. You're right, but no, that was the first time after.

Everything that had happened, we actually stepped out official as a couple on the red carpet in La at the iHeart jingle Ball.

But it was the first time we stepped out and intentionally correct had our picture.

Taken that we allowed photographers, Yes, smiling there we go, yes, to take our photographs.

Yeah, so you know, I was excited.

But then my parents let me know they were coming in town that very week. They extended their trip a little because my daughter Analise, who if you all are fans of the podcast hopefully heard her episode when she was heading off to study abroad in Spain, came back. So it just didn't make sense for me to go to LA. But then you got to bring oh my god, I got your.

Favorite girl with you to LA instead of me.

So yeah, essentially, folks, we go jingle ball to jingle Ball, all right, if you will. We just had these two major events, and in between we had a lot of life that was happening. So really what was to break it down? In a week week and a half time, Robot's parents were in town, Sabine and I took a twenty four hour trip to Los Angeles. Sabine. Oh, excuse me, Analise came home from college. We had a wedding to go to. We had an Arkansas razorback basketball game to

Yes, because then Ava, my oldest daughter, had a play. We actually got front row seats to an NYU play that she was starring in, also on the same day as the wedding and the day after the second jingle ball.

So it was it was all exhausting, and there was a time, I guess I looked at you and said, have we agreed to do too much? And I was almost hoping something would get canceled or something would fall through, and nothing ever did. But it was exhausting, but it was fun. I'm glad after the fact now that we did all that we did.

Well, there's nothing that I think we could have or should have said no to because it was all meaningful in different ways and we were.

Right.

But and it was something that we actually enjoyed, even though we did not get a lot of sleep.

According to our new aura rings, that's what they're called, right that we've been wearing.

We I think we had a couple nights. You got less than three hours. I got less than four hours. But we made it through.

Here we are.

I mean, who doesn't do this during the holidays. I know you have joking holidays extend themselves. You're not only are you going to either it's a holiday party or a wedding, or a family obligation or some sort of celebration that is intellectually yes, sounds fun, but then an execution actually is exhausting.

Everyone's doing these things. In addition to if you're.

A parent, you're buying all of the Christmas lists up that your children have given you or that you are obligated to buy for other members of your family. So you're juggling the busiest social and maybe professional time of your life with also the busiest personal time in your life.

When you're trying to heart.

Yeah, you're exhausting it. Just this is why I don't like the holidays.

This is why I put thought mildly just now, I hate the holiday. That's what you say.

I just this is this time, it just because, not just for what it's become. You go out there, you go to any mall, and it makes you feel good when you see the decorations, but you look at the faces, look at the looks on people's faces. For a whole variety of reasons. It's stress. It's sometimes it's stress over money, stress over time. And I get it, but it becomes too often from what I have seen and what I've experienced, is just you use the word obligation and I just

Yeah, you're trying to create the map. I mean, I can speak for myself. I guess I'm and I think a lot of moms out there are trying to keep the magic alive for our kids at all costs, no matter how old they are, at the expense of perhaps our mental health. And yes, then you add with it all of the other fun night outs that this time of year usually brings about that ends up making you just fraid. I mean, yes, it's a lot, but I don't know. It's fun, it's life. It's a part of

I don't know.

I don't want to say mental health because that's not a good thing, but just overall fatigue.

What like you're yeah, you're gonna be tired. But was it worth it? Was it fun? Did you enjoy yourself?

Those are two different. Look the experience with the stuff we did the past week, that was all fun. It was a good time. It was exhausting. We chose that. I'm talking exceperate from that. I'm just talking about the holiday season and what comes with the stress of trying to get this gift and get that. And you, anybody will give you hell if you in any way suggest you don't like the holidays, and I don't. I absolutely do not like it. This will be the time of

We have had some new family I guess traditions now that we've been able to have this year that we haven't had in years past. It was kind of cool when my parents were in town. You guys had just come back from la There was an overlap and we had some gift exchanges happening. Was that at all awkward for you at this point?

No? I mean I always like getting stuff, so that's just a me thing. But this is a real thing this and a lot of people can relate to you. You have new families and new blended families, new members of the family, and who do you get a gift for? And what is too much? And to make sure I get that person something because in case they get me something, and these and then opening gifts in front of each other is always a weird moment. Oh my goodness, mine is in a Tiffany box and is in a paper bag?

And you're surrounded by girls once again, which I guess you're getting used to perhaps, or can one ever get used to that?

Well? No, what is it? There is? You'll admit that there's a lot of emotion sometimes and trying to read everybody's and how you all play off each other. I have picked up on that a little bit. Yeah, yeah. And it is not a matter of what I needed to hold time. I just need to stay silent. It's not like, Okay, they're doing this, so I should pick option B. No, the whole time, I just need to shut up and let y'all work it out.

Is that your strategy to get through it?

Oh? Yeah, I'm gonna be fine.

Oh wow. Yeah, So this is going to be a lot of first and I'm excited about it.

You are a little nervous about it or no.

No, I mean you can't have would be a little anxious. You're opening gifts in front of each other, You're working up together on the most important of holidays to a lot of folks. So no, it's just it's brand new. Yeah, it's brand new for everybody. So it's as much as we've already spent a holiday together. It's just Thanksgiving, not all of us, but most of us, and at least was the only one that wasn't there. But yeah, it's yeah, it's new.

Yeah.

Thanksgiving went really, really well. So I'm very very hopeful about this Christmas week. And I do think having gone through this busy week, we all kind of were in it together. We were in and out of each other's lives. You were, they're supporting Ava at her play. What'd you think of the play?

By the way, I was worried that I didn't get it, and then afterwards everybody else said no, no, no, they were in the same boat. I was very nervous that I was a little too low brow well to understand the nuance of the play. But no, no, no, I was It was interesting and it's again knowing Ava as long as I've known her, to see her do her thing on a stage like that, it was it was fun.

Yeah, so this was n YU play.

I love what I've seen from n Yu and some of the productions i've seen Ava, and they're all student run. Their student written, their students acted, their student directed, their student lighted. So it's just really cool. You see everybody crafting or honing their crafts. And this one was called do you care that I'm like this? And yeah, it was. This was the first time you've you've seen her be

We were exhausted, but I can't This was the best and it might have been the most meaningful week in our relationship. Yeah, just the blending of families, how easy it was. There were no introductions being made, it was just a natural flow to the family. It really might have been. We started with your parents coming to town and you know, just Sabine and I getting a chance to take that trip together. And it was a twenty four This is a eleven year old kid that I

Yeah. At one point when I texted you, I said, how's it going? You said, this has been the most fun I've ever had with Sabine. And that says a lot, because you always have a lot of fun with her. And the cool thing is when you were with Sabine and I was still waiting on Analyst to come back from Spain and Ava was doing her NYU thing, I actually had a rare couple of days with my parents, just the three of us, and I don't think we've had that since it might have it might have been

Speak for me.

But it was kind of cool because you got to have a very special.

Twenty four hours, as you say, with Sabine, and I got that time with my parents too, that I think at a certain point sometimes we all take for granted, but we're usually surrounded by spouses or friends or children where you don't really get one on one time with people, or at least I find I don't anymore as much. So anytime you can have that and acknowledge it, it's

Your presence was still felt in La since you pretty much outfitted to be yes that jacket, that white leather jacket she wore on the red carpet, which he was very excited about, came courtesy of you. I had never been worn.

No, I have never worn it.

I thought it looked so cool, and then every time I put it on, I didn't feel like I was cool enough for it. So yeah, when Sabine needed something to make her outfit, saying, it just seemed like the right fit. And it looks so much better on her than it ever looked on me.

She looked great out there. And the hair, oh my goodness, the hair situation out there. I wish you were here to tell the story yourself right now. But all poor thing, poor poor thing. They always allow for hair and makeup when we travel to these things, and I don't do hair or makeup, so I was letting Sabine have my time. She just wanted her hair pulled back. And she went into this room and these women, oh for too. The first two just couldn't do anything with her hair. They

I handle it.

She was a champ. She just sat there. She made a couple lives over at me. Because we both were kind of laughing internally knowing what was going on. Then the third lad, I wish I could give her credit the hair stylist. She hooked her up and it looks great. But that was a fun little moment with Sabine. And yes, she's a little girl with some crazy early hair. And there were seven white women in the room who had no idea what.

They were like, I don't know what did you say?

Hey, no, I just let it play out really and then eventually it all worked out.

She looked fantastic.

Oh yeah. But the third lady, the hairstyle, she was, oh yeah, she hooked it up. She was great. Oh yeah, it looked great.

So when we came back, or when you guys were back here in New York, before we went to the Jingle Ball, we also decided to bring in an old friend who he hadn't seen in a long time, and it was really wonderful to have her come and do hair for the three girls, me, Annalise and Sabine for the red carpet. But it was fun to find that

She's amazing.

We had some trip we've traveled internationally with her and it's yeah, it was good to have her in the room. It was fun to see you girls getting ready for the jingle Ball and look the both of that, I'm not sure which one I could say. I you know, we had a pretty good set up in Lallah because we had food and access to the bathroom. All that was easy, isn't that. Yeah, that's so that's key at any event like that, But the one here in La you know, in New York, and this is true as well.

The Okay, Yeah, it was the first time that we well, obviously it's only been a year since the two of us were on the red carpet.

So for us to go on the red carpet.

With one of our daughters a piece all together, the four of us standing there, that was a decision.

Yes, that wasn't just happenstance.

We talked to our daughters about it and everybody was okay with it, and so we went for it.

But it is you know, yeah, though, that.

Wasn't just something that we didn't give deep thought to before we walked down or walked out on that red carpet.

And I gave Sabina every out but almost you sure? Are you sure? Because we don't have it and we could do this, and we could do that and get her that. And she was the one who, like we said, along all the entire part of our relationship, entirety of our relationship, we let them lead the way. That was no exception. I asked her what she wanted to do and what she was comfortable with, and she led the way.

Yeah, And look, this has been a long road coming. So we've been together for more than two years, and this is this was our first Thanksgiving that we got to spend actually together. And this is going to be the first Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning we wake up together.

But we did that for our daughters.

We let them lead the way and we wanted them to be ready before any of this started. So yeah, you know, as we sorry, as we've been busy and crazy and frenetic, and we have the habit because we're working together all the time of still saying I miss you, like we can be together, but it's you get caught

All right, folks, we'll stay with us here on this episode of Amy and TJ. When we come back, we'll tell you about a first for the two of us in our relationship, something called a coaching session. Also, we ended up in Madison Square Garden for a second time in a week, and I had an unexpected visit from a family member. Stay with us, Welcome back, everybody to this episode of Amy and TJ Robes. We were talking about the busy week we have had. We I don't

So we keep butting heads about. It's not what they say, it's not about communication, it's about comprehension. And I felt like we weren't comprehending one another.

So I've been I've been listening to this I I'm not going to pick the bait.

Can you take the butt? Can you give me something?

But okay, I acknowledge that was funny and a wonderful attempted humor. But I'm reading this book or listening to this book called Secure Love, and it's all about knowing attachments.

Here she goes, I've been reading this book.

I felt like, So I said, I was hoping that you would also maybe listen to the book or read the book, or go to one coaching session with one of these designated therapists who are linked to this book and supposedly help you work.

On better communications.

So yes, you agreed, which was very sweet and I appreciated it, and we did one coaching session and I felt like I felt I felt like I had a little bit better of an understanding about how or what my.

Strategy is going to be the next time we have conflict.

So I felt like I definitely got to take away from it. It was a little it wasn't exactly what I was expecting.

But you said you came out of it feeling neutral. Is that what you said to me?

I think that nothing foul? Yeah, I mean I didn't. I have no no reaction to it at all. Nothing. There was no updown, no just but you were like, if you wanted to do it again, I would say, fine, go and do it that same person again. I was fine, I have no reaction.

I So I felt like, at the very least, it was a little bit of a release and so far, so good, We're doing great.

After the coaching session, yeah, it was just what I needed.

Yeah, so that but anyway, I felt like, Okay, I thought that started the week off right.

So that was the week off, right, Okay, you okay, that's what you got out of it. That's okay, good we is that the same? What was the day? Then we had to go in and we did podcast tapings on that Tuesday day, Yes, And then we had a Zoom meeting business call at six pm. And then the Arkansas.

Razorbacks, Yes, played Michigan.

And Madison Square Garden that night at nine pm.

We got back after twelve midnight and you get up at three am and I get up at four am.

But yeah, I don't even think we.

Slept more than two and a half three hours that night.

But they won and it was worth it.

It was azing it.

I mean, it was such a good game. It was fantastic.

And thank you to Brian Rain, Sardine and Becca Bradley. Want to thank them for taking care of us with the tickets. Arkansas folks always take good care, so thank you all very much. But that was a really big deal to have the Razorbacks in town. So we weren't going to.

Miss that game, yes, exactly.

But I almost didn't make the meeting we had earlier.

You were asleep on the couch at five fifty pm and I was like, babe, you know we've got this this zoom like in ten minutes.

You're like, I'll be fine. I'm like, do you want me to get you an espresso?

Should I go find you a five hour energy You're like, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, and like, yeah, you didn't say much in the meeting, but you were physically present.

Correct, check what was my presence really needed? Yes, but I need to say anything.

Yes, yes, everyone always wants you to say something. But your eyes were open and you were present, so I guess technically you won.

So we go through Wednesday and this was the This was another highlight of the week, and this was unexpected. I don't get to see family a lot because I don't go back home a lot. And even when I go back to the state of Arkansas, I end up in northwest Arkansas and the University of Arkansas instead of on the other side of the state.

And your family is West Memphis versus Fayettel.

Yeah, sorry, but I don't see family lot. So when my cousin, my baby cousin, and she was going to be in town US for a night for a conference, we had to go out and see her. That was on Thursday night. It was your first time meeting my baby cousin shar Day, who was who lives in Nashville. But she is my She's just such a sweetie.

She was awesome.

First of all, I knew she had to be special for you to agree on a very bitterly cold Thursday night to go to Times Square And you know what, I know it's festive if you're a tourist, but if you live here, that is not the place you go during the holiday season on a Thursday night. So I knew if you were like, we're going, that she had to be special.

And you know what she was. I mean it was she is so sweet.

Just her. You know, people say you can read energy, but she just had this beautiful, joyful energy about her. Sweet sweet sweet And I could see the family resemblance. I could see the family smile and laughter. I could see your sister and her a little bit like. It was really cool. And I always appreciate getting to know you. You more when I get to meet your family. It's just I love I love. Yeah, And she was awesome.

That's my girl. You show me that picture of us and I'm like, yeah, the family resemblance.

See it right, nuts, Yeah, I mean she absolutely could be your other sister.

You guys look so much alike.

I didn't realize I looked that much like somebody you do elso on Earth. And then we wrapped it up on Saturday. We had a wedding to go to before the play, before the play in Harlem. Yes, and you know what you've done, you have before. But I haven't been to a wedding in which they have to make an announcement that there has been a sighting of the bride. Yes, you're not making this up.

Yeah, so my I have been to a wedding of a dear, dear friend and she's listening. She knows who she is or her wedding started two hours after the time it was printed on the invitation, two hours, two hours.

You don't want to say who it is.

Everyone who knows me who's listening to is exactly the wedding I'm talking about, And I love you.

The first name, du last name Nesca. Okay, that's who it was.

Okay, So I thought I had seen it all.

In fact, I even joked about it because we were running a little we got nervous because there was crazy traffic around my apartment and we thought, oh my god.

I thought we were going to be l.

Yeah, so we gave ourselves forty five minutes we left. We left at twelve fifteen for a one pm wedding on the invitation, right, So we're stuck in traffic and TJ's like, we are going to be late.

Oh my god.

You were looking at the clock and the uber and the clock and we made up time on the West Side Highway. You're like, okay, we're gonna have two minutes to spare. You ready to run like we are. We don't want to be late. We get there and we make it just fine with like what four or five minutes to spare. Okay, But when we walk in, there's like six other people there, and I'm thinking ret row because I had just told you about the wedding.

I'd been to where yep I was.

I too, thought I was going to be late, and realized that I was the only person there. So it was kind of history repeating itself.

Yes, well but no.

We go in, we get a glass champagne. Everything's fine, Everything is fine. Now, the time starts going by a little bit and the efficient stands up there and he actually makes an announcement and says there's been a sighting of the bride of the bride, and we're told she's two minutes out. Yeah, okay. Thirty minutes later, she still was still not a bride. Now. I wasn't worried about anything until the groom started mingling, keeping.

The guests busy so as to not really recognize that the wedding hasn't started yet.

Can I refresh your drink? It was talk about it.

Where drims started getting passed around, which I had never seen happen while we're sitting.

Yeah, and I was like, okay, I actually.

Was a little hungry. I'll take some arada and I did. I had some. Yeah, it felt Yeah, it was good.

So the wedding does finally, I think an hour and ten minutes wait, and when it started again, we had allotted for this time, so it's not like we were running behind or anything. It was just funny. Yes, it was one of the funnier weddings I've ever attended.

So beautiful bride she is. I I can go ahead and describe a white, blonde Jewish woman if it was a Jewish wedding marrying a black non Jewish man, right, but it was all taking place. Apparently this was the first Jewish wedding to ever take place at a Muslim center in Harlem.

Yes, that's what they say.

And so the bride and her she was flanked by her father and I can only guess maybe her stepfather. She had two men on either side of her, older gentleman fatherlike figures. But in order for them to walk down the aisle, they had to split and walk around a statue of Malcolm X. And it just wasn't lost on us how interesting this New York wedding was.

You know what that that's a uniquely New York experience.

Where else could that happen?

They then again they're telling it, this is the first time a Jewish wedding has taking place in this center. It's the Malcolm X Spettish Baz. The Muslim center was one hundred and sixty fish. Yeah, that's where it's taking place. And they're a huge life size statue of him.

Yeah.

And to think that you have to walk around Malcolm X a Jewish woman to get up there to get married.

It's just it was amazing.

It's such a You're right, a New York experience.

It really was, and the wedding was great, It was fantastic and it was so fun. But that those are the kind of moments where you couldn't I don't think you could write that into a script in a movie and people would believe it, they think, come on, but no, it was actually taking place, and it's one of the like New York is just a breeding ground for those types of yeah, of moments that you I don't think could exp to happen anywhere else.

And it wasn't lost on us.

Okay, you know, very totally forgot this mentioned what the nineteen twenties speak easy theme.

Oh yes, so we're all dressed up like we were in the Gilded Age too, which added to.

The ambiance and everything we were experiencing. It was like all these genres mashing up.

That was funny because it took us. We didn't have time. We thought we'd have enough time to go back and change before going to Ava's play. So you and I show up looking like an American gangsta.

And a flapper like twenties just but you know what for the theater groups like for the you know, the theatrical the NYU Thespian community.

We weren't believe were we were fine? Like it was like, yeah, right, Like who doesn't want to dress like that?

On Saturday night.

The CAF that off. That is where I was sitting where after it was done in the lobby waiting on you all, and you came out from the restroom to get me and my mouth a drop because that's when we got the news about ABC News and remember that, Yeah, that was weird. That was the last thing that happened us to cap off this week. You're like, you're not gonna believe this.

Guess what this headline says.

Isn't that amazing? I couldn't help but stop and to think, Wow, did we do that much damage?

Uh?

Sixty dollars the damage? I don't think so.

And maybe perhaps just to explain what we're specifically referencing here is.

Everybody knows that story.

Well I know, but I feel like we should just at least acknowledge.

Yeah, we're talking about the fact that ABC decided or Disney decided to settle with Donald Trump, who sued ABC News and George Stephanopoulos for making the false.

Assertion that Donald Trump had been found Was it legally liable for raping a woman instead of sexually assaulting her.

So the word rape versus sexual assault, big legal distinction and a big fine if you want to call it. That at least is what ABC agreed to pay. And yeah, it's big news. And Trump's now well taking his win and suing a couple other news agencies.

Let's see what happens with those lawsuits.

But yeah, he is laid down the law about what he's going to accept and what he's not, and he follows through when he says he's going to do something gray.

That's the last thing I remember about our night out that I say capped it all. If it wasn't some victory or anything, or don't wish ill of them or anything like that, but it's just a matter. I remember that was a stamp on in the evening for some reason.

Yeah, and yeah, it is interesting.

But again, those things make you think, and that always may always stop and think, wow, I did that, anything I did that costs them that much money?

Apparently a distraction was just too costly.

No, I just didn't. I just stopped and thought, you can't help. But sometimes think about those things, something like that comes up, and I was just I couldn't believe it. Yeah, I couldn't believe it. So what a week we've had, and what a week we've got.

But you don't have to take a deep side.

I do.

I got a couple of things to get I thought you said you were done.

I'm not done.

You're not done.

You had a couple more.

Things we have.

I think a really fun week ahead of us where we can actually do a little relaxing too. I hope all of you listening can do the same, maybe wind down a little bit, maybe you have a few more things to get done. But once you do, just I don't know. I want to make sure I take the time to to soak it in and to just be and not We've just been doing so much, so let's just let's just all be for a little while.

All right. But I appreciate that advice, will try to adhere to it. But to everybody out there, please enjoy and enjoy your families. I mean not to sound more of it, but really you just you never know, you never never know, so enjoy them, enjoy the time with them if you have it, so appreciate its always. I'm TJ.

Holmes and I'm Amy Robot.

Happy holidays, everybody,