The folks. In this episode, Robes and I adopt a new morning routine. Too bad it involves her sleeping alone for the last two hours of the morning. Also, are we the only ones out there who've been binging season one of House of the Dragon like crazy people in the past few days? And what did you get your dad for Father's Day? Survey says it was probably alcohol.
Plus minutes ago, Robes and I both got off the phone with our dads and we asked them the advice they'd want us to pass along to you all and all dads in this episode. And with that, Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ. Robes sitting across a table from me this time and not in studio. We were recording on Father's Day at our dining room table. So a little different today.
That's right, And Happy Father's Day, TJ Ah, thank you for that.
Weird I say it's a weird day because it's just I don't feel like there's anything else extra that needs to be done.
Well, no, I think that's very humble and sweet of you, But it always does feel like that when you're you don't want to set expectations, but you're also appreciative of anything, or really just I don't know. Do you what do you think of Father's Day? Do you think it's warranted? Do you think it's needed?
I don't, I don't know. I'm not a It is weird. We're going to get into it at the to close it out when we talk about advice from our dads. But it feels so different from Mother's Day. Like Father's Day, they both feel like duties. But you feel like if you don't fulfill your duty on Father's Day, he's not gonna mind.
Right, there's a higher expectation set around moms. You gotta you gotta take care of mom. There's no question, there's no question.
And honestly, the sad thing is, or I don't know, just the reality of it is. The financials back that up because we were looking. It's very apparent and not even up for debate. Americans spend billions of dollars more on their moms than they do on their dads every year, and we're spending more and more each year, but the
ratio remains the same. Moms just get about almost one hundred dollars more in gifts or whatever per person when you're whatever you're allotting towards these days, moms get the lion's share for sure, without question.
I don't know, what'd you get your dad for a father's name?
Well, this was pretty funny, so I know the full proof. No, like it's always going to land as if I get my dad alcohol. So he loves wine, he loves fine wine, he loves champagne.
So this year I got champagne.
I got a rose, and I got a brute, and I got a really pretty champagne bucket to go along with it. And sure enough, I already got a picture saying thank you.
But then I looked.
Online and apparently we are twice as like to send our father's alcohol as we are our mother. So that is one of the big gifts, apparently that we give our dads because we know it'll get used and it will be enjoyed.
For the most part, it's easy, you know, right, Just guys don't get the same don't get the same attention. That's okay, Yeah, I think that's completely warranted. But just wait as fall as they comes along, and what do you want to do? And you guys do that. No, I'm doing the same thing we always do I'm hanging with my girls on Sunday, but I always do. I'm always with you. Me and Sabine run around somewhere, were going to lunch outside. It's the same. The day is
not different in the least bit. It doesn't feel different. And maybe that is a good sign.
So well, oh, I know, but you should feel special though, I think, Yeah, it's nice to feel the love.
Sabine's coming over.
She's on her way to make me feel special tomorrow.
I want to make you feel special every day.
Okay, then today's not a biggie. I don't. I don't feel if somebody nobody said to me, be Father's Day and it didn't acknowledge.
Really, I don't even know if I would notice. Oh, it would bother me.
It would bother me if no one said happy mothers.
Would it only bother you?
If the girl, oh yeah, I don't need anyone else to say it.
Yes, but I would hope that at the very least you'd get a hey, happy Mother's Day.
I appreciate you, thank you for all that you do for.
Me morning and yeah, so me and actually she was. She sent a text after midnight like why are you why are you in your room texting. She wanted to make sure she was.
That's really sweet.
Can I laugh though, because remember on Mother's Day I got annoyed that you were saying whatever you want, it's what do you want to do? And I was like, I don't. I don't want to make it up. I don't want to have to I don't want the pressure of that. So today I was just joking a couple of times. Today's your day.
I said that. I texted that scene, and what did you expect to me?
Look it up?
Yeah, you had a very strong response to me, saying, I said, today is your day, whatever you want to do. And I believe you said if you say that to me one more explitive time.
Oh, I'm are.
You looking it up?
Maybe let's yeah, let's get the actual verbatim of what you sent back to me.
It's your day, you can do what. Okay, I'm just reading. I'm just going to read this filter. Okay, you said to me it's your day, you can do whatever you want walking out from my place at eleven something. Okay, that was actually something else, So okay, there it is. You said, it's your day, you can do whatever you want. My response was say, that shit one more time and you'll be sorry.
Okay, little insight, you can do. Yes, we have a very playful relationship.
But you know, the funny thing is that text exchange was at six twenty a film.
And how long have you already been up? I was gone, you were gone two hours. We spent the night.
We spend pretty much every night together. It's a rare thing if we don't. But yes, you're already out of the apartment and doing your thing where we have to text each other back and forth at six twenty in the morning.
Welcome to my life.
Okay, this this has changed a little bit. I mentioned our morning routine, but it's only changed because of the weather. And it's changed because the weather is just glorious in New York right now in mornings and nights are absolutely stunning. We're talking mid sixties or even warmer at low six in the morning and then at seven, eight, nine o'clock at night. And for me that's a big deal because I ride my bike through the well.
You say a bike, motorcycle, not a city bike. You won't be caught dead on a city bike. Let's just make that really clear. You want a bike actually sounds funny.
Blue isn't my color. That's why I don't ride city bikes anyway. Right, But now that this is the case, I like to get up and ride, take a ride on the motorcycle in the morning or at night. And morning is great because you get the city to yourself. Anybody, if you live here, if I say to you you're going to go from the Financial District to Central Park, you start thinking, Okay, which train don't need to take? Take the cars going to take me forty five minutes?
It really does. In the morning when there's no traffic out when I'm out riding, it takes me twelve to fifteen minutes to get from Lower Manhattan to Central Park, straight shot, no traffic. And I love it.
That's remarkable. I know, I love it.
And now you're having so much fun coming back down through Times Square. So now you're riding the motorcycle times Square and you've got the whole place to yourself.
So if anybody yet, if you're in Times Square at you know, six ish, and you see a streak going through a white bike, leather jacket, white black helmet, that's me.
And you said you got every green light. That's so again, something that's remarkable.
I went from Times Square to Lower Manhattan without missing a light.
That never happens.
It just doesn't happen. So anyway, that's our new morning. But I've come been coming back to your place and I message you and say, hey, can you make me tea? And the first couple of times I did that, You're like, what the hell is going on?
There's me tea? I was like, what right? And now I know.
I jumped up, got your tea, my coffee. We sit out on my balcony and you've got your motorcycle gear. But yeah, it's kind of like a part two to the morning because you leave. I mean you leave as early as five fifteen sometimes and you're up since four waiting for me to wake up, which does not happen.
But I've enjoyed it too, because while you're off experiencing the city on your own, I get an extra hour of sleep, and I'm grateful for that because no, I mean, like I think I'm a six thirty seven am kind of gal, You're just a four am kind of guy. So yeah, that's a great way to spend the time where I would be sleeping and you'd be anxious, like when is you waking up?
Now you get to ride your bikes.
It's fun. And then I get it's stun I can see you. But the funniest one was the morning I messaged and said, can you make me tea? And I think you wanted to have it. You were trying to fool me, maybe into thinking you were already up moving around, and you weren't. So I have a key, I will come into the place. You apparently had just seen the message. Yes, and I'm not kidding. I walk in. You don't know I'm in the play. I walk in. I'm coming to the back. You had seen the message. I didn't know.
But I walk in and you are doing You are jumping up and down, trying to get tights on.
Oh yeah, my leggings, my run. I think we were going to go running later, so I trying to get my run. You're on.
You were trying to get dressed to get the teenage. So I come in. I just see naked white cheeks jumping you.
You gave me no lead time to get the tea ready, I was like. And then there was the other morning, plenty of time. There was the other morning where I didn't get the text because I was sleeping and you were.
You stood over the bed, and funny enough, I didn't even freak out. I was like, oh hey, but you would think someone would scream, but nope.
I'm enjoying our new morning routine.
It's been great.
Yeah, our afternoon routine and kind of we haven't gotten this yet, but we can't be the only ones. Isn't everybody doing this? If you loved House of the Dragon or HBO the first season, which is now seems like it was what twenty eight, it.
Was two years ago, two years ago.
So the new season's coming dropping on Father's Day and we are trying to get caught up.
Yes, and it's very you know, it's complicated. It's like Game of Thrones, and that's part of what I think the love of it is that if you're in it, you're in it.
You know all the details.
You know that, you know all of the different houses and the fighting factions, but then you forget because it is so complicated. So we're trying to refresh our memory leading up to because you know what, there aren't many things where you actually get excited about watching something live. Game of Thrones was like that for me. House the Dragon was like that for us because we did watch it two years ago. I think it was our first
show we watched together, right, were we watching it? Like we had moments where we got to watch show together.
Really might be the first show we watched together.
Yeah, so we were actually getting to watch that, and now we get to see the second season, which is super exciting. But yes, there is some catching up to do. We're not there yet. It's nine o'clock tonight, Eastern time.
Yeah, but you know it's weird on this because I mean, anybody's familiar with the game with their ownes world, Like, there's some pretty harsh, violent and I mean even dark themes and if you're trying to binge that. I said yesterday, we need a break, right, you know we were.
I was like ready for the second, you know, we started watching and he was like, it's really it's a beautiful day outside. It's like eighty one degrees and sunny. This feels really heavy and dark, and you weren't wrong. I mean, you know, it is one of those things where it might be more fun to watch on a winter's night or you know, a stormy evening on an eighty one sunny glorious day in Manhattan. It feels wrong to be watching How the Dragon but trying really hard to catch up for tonight.
We'll get there, we will. But this is again we're recording on on Father's Day here and we, like I said, we just got off the phone with our dads. But it's I did. I'll ask you what you guys your dad for Father's Day. I didn't get my dad anything. I couldn't tell you the last year that I did. But I make sure mama gets flowers. Right? Why are
we do that right? Why do we feel that kind of that difference between that affection or that there's just something sweeter about the relationship almost with the with the mom that boys and girls feel like you need to shower.
It was interesting.
You looked up just to be like, it was just a fascinating thing to see what reservations we could get for brunch for Father's Day. And apparently we can go anywhere at any time because the reservations are wide open. And we laughed, because anyone everyone knows Mother's Day.
Quite the opposite.
If you haven't planned ahead of time to get brunch at your favorite spot, you will not be attending it. Just isn't gonna happen, because that's the first thing everyone goes and does.
But you made a good point.
I don't know if you read it or you thought about it, but I think most families. Everyone's different, obviously, but most families there is the role of the mother, and the mother is the one who's cooking and cleaning and doing a lot of the nurturing. So yes, to take her out where she doesn't have to cook, she doesn't have to clean. That makes a lot of sense, whereas most people don't think of fathers in that way.
But you are an exception. You you cook ninety eight percent of our meals, and I imagine that's been the case, maybe ninety nine percent.
Okay, I cooked a meal on Friday night. I get say. The thing is, you're look have been.
I have been cooking meals for my family for the last two decades and they didn't have another choice. So I always felt like I was a pretty decent cook. But you're you're amazing, and so now I'm intimidated. I've said this like, oh, yours is better than mine, But every now and then I'll step up and it's okay, it's good, it's good.
You're not. We talked about this enough, but I hope nobody's getting the impression that you are a bad suggestion.
But you're just You're exceptional. Like your eggs. You learn from Gordon Ramsay, so like I've never tasted better eggs. Like we've yet to taste eggs better than the ones you cook. And you learned from the best.
And we should say I didn't read his cookbook, I didn't look up anything online. I was in his house in La and he showed me how to make these eggs. And it's been out there. People know his his egg but I have done it for years and years now to where I we won't say what restaurant, but it was a restaurant that.
Had fabulous scrambled eggs.
I hope we don't give them away because that is the exact name of the item on their menu. They were not fabulous. That was tough.
And then you said, if we were to ever open a restaurant, what you would name your scrambled egg dish on our menu?
They would be called I learned these from Gordon Ramsey Eggs to being honest about it, get it.
Credit needs to be given where it's due. And yes it involves crumb fresh. We'll just say that. It's I never imagine because I always put cheese in my eggs and like, and you don't need anything other than salt, pepper.
Pem fresh and butter. Butter. You do need butter and then the scallions on the.
If anybody out there you make scrambled eggs, if your eggs are ready in less than a minute, you're not doing it right. And that's how I grew up seeing scrambled eggs being made. You just throw them, suckles in there, whip it up, and you're good to go. These these take time, They take effort, and they take a lot of stirring on and off the aisle. And again it's out there. This is not some secret he I think there's an instructional video out there about it.
But they are so good.
How do we get on this? We were talking about, well, we.
Were talking about so the brunch reservations.
We were talking so now like today it's why where every and we were just like, why is that? And I think just traditionally more women, but you deserve a lovely brunch. But we're going to the movies, which is actually funny enough what I.
Did on Mother's Day? You came to a rom com.
Yeah, loved it.
Yeah, it was an action And do you want to reveal the movie that you were going to?
No, we're going to or the one going Yeah this is okay, this is a this is a Sabine thing. This is a Sabine. Yes, this is a Sabine. Was like, yeah, we gotta go. It was one because you and I any movie. We were talking about the Ryan Gosling and we want a fall Guy fall Gout, but we just don't go to the theater unless it's a horror movie. So if anybody suggests to me they want to go to the theater and see anything other than I'm like, not really, I'm not interested, And so I wouldn't have
gone to see any of this. But now this is one Sabine and I gotta do our thing.
Okay, That's why I'm excited. A lot of dads in there, didn't you say funny enough? It seemed like there were a lot of people going to the movies because that might be something that you're comfortable going to your dad with, just sitting in a dark theater and not talking.
But that's say that and that is kind of and I get it. We just have different relationships. Sabine was even messaging me and she said, yeah, there's this is gonna be a lot of dudes sitting on the couch and enjoying that liquor that they were bought for a Father's Day. I think that mindset, but it's just I don't know that the day doesn't feel different. But yes,
dads are incredibly important. We just talked to our dads and we talked about the money spent, right, you gave that number already for the difference and the money we spend. There's a difference in the amount of revenue. Almost doubles in terms of the amount of revenue increase on Mother's Day for restaurants versus Father's Day. And it is remarkable to go on to Rezi or open table and party of three for today. We got any anywhere you wanted.
It was crazy like probably maybe even more so than any other random Sunday.
I don't know what.
What would be a perfect Father's Day for you? If you could from start to finish, what would it be.
It would be one that the day in June that feels just like a day in September. Or one in March, or one that your child doesn't feel like something special is taking place in the relationship today because this is just my dad all the time. If you want to say thank you and hand me a card, that's on the day. But I just with there there is nothing today like wow, we have to do something super duper
special to honor the relationship with Sabine today. Sabine is you see me jump through hoops and do all kinds of stuff on any day for Sabine. So I think that's the greatest compliment here. Maybe it's just that we're just it's a continuation of what we do all year.
I love that, and I do like the idea of not having it feel obligatory, that it is just how we act and what we say and what we do.
But it is a reminder. I do like this, you know.
I think we do take the people who do the most for us the grant for granted oftentimes. So it's just a reminder to say thank you. I think that's the biggest thing. I love you and thank you, and it never hurts, it's never a it's ever a bad thing to hear that from, especially from your child.
What was the so we I was surprised we've gotten to this habit now, you and I we talk to our family members. You don't speaker, we hear everything. So you heard this entire conversation I just had with myne with my dad, telling him Happy Father's Day. But it was it was interesting to hear him give advice, say, we're abut to a corps. Well, what advice would you give to dads out there in this episode? And I was surprised at pretty much his A answer is now
my answer. I'm like, we always just no matter what we're going to become, our parents are we.
Yep, that's that's pretty much where we're all headed. And you learn that the more the older you get, the more you realize like, damn, can't do anything about it.
Yeah, So my dad seventy six, it's five prostate cancer, one mini heart attack he always calls it, but not a major issue. He's had knee replacements, he's he's lost one of his siblings here in recent years. Well, I'm saying all this to say the dude has been through life, has been through a lot, been married for fifty what years now? Just the dude has seen a lot and of course none of us get it all right, but his advice. So this is why I asked him other
advice you wanted to pass along. This is what he wanted to you all to know. He started with money. Money just isn't important. You want to be able to take care of yourself, you want to be able to provide, but money is not important. And you have to recognize once important. And we spend so much time chasing and trying to do this, trying to do that and trying to provide, but it does not matter. You cannot take it with you. And this is the part where we
was like, wow, I'm my dad now. He said, it's just time, is just spending time, and that's what's important. And so this is what I've come around to lately, is that the most important thing is just it really is showing up. That's it. And if you can't show up, if you're just available, right, if your kid texts you and you text in thirty seconds, even that sends a signal and a feeling that this person is available, will
stop what they're doing. And so that certainly is where I am now, and I recognize more than anything, it's not buying something. It's not. Sometimes it can be memories providing experiences. But that recital, that concert that you know, even that injury kid nick themselves and you make sure you are there to provide a band aid or just those little things I recognize them, or so anything is the advice I would give the dads. It ain't what
you can buy. It's just a matter of time, the time you can give.
Do you have a favorite memory or a memory that stands out to you about your dad, like that moment you're like, wow, my dad, my dad showed up, my dad gave me this advice. My dad he was your high school principal. So that's I love that dynamic to begin with.
But do you have it?
Did?
Yeah? No, no, I mean it wouldn't be any child's dream to have their father be the principal. But do you have a memory that stands out at all over the years.
You're not gonna Yeah, I didn't. And you said about House high school that jumps out at me all. Yes, he was my high school principal, and high school was tenth to eleven to twelfth grade, so that was three years, and my sister was in school with me for one of those years. So he was our principal. And I always people say, oh, you poor guy, but no, I always say I loved it because I knew the system well and I knew how to manipulate it. I saw everything. I saw everything my dad did, and I knew how
I worked. But I had two types of teachers. One that wanted to maybe kiss my ass because they wanted to make sure they made a good impression for the principal, their boss, and the other were the teachers who wanted to make an example out of me, to say, oh, oh, you ain't getting away with anything because you're the principal son. My dad understood that dynamic I was. I'm not a bad kid. I wasn't trying to get away with anything. I was never that. So if any teacher picked on me,
he recognized. And I can remember, I have not thought about this ever, and you just made me think about it. To see him defend me when he saw what was happening, and it was pretty majority like white teachers who were often doing this. But to watch him take up for me, that was never a question he gave, like, son, have
you been doing this? They said that. It was never that he automatically knew and he was one hundred percent right that I was being picked on that I don't know why that memory just plopped up in my head.
That was weird, but it matters at those moments when you want, you need somebody to stand up for you.
And your dad did. I love that. I love that.
But you I just heard your dad here give advice and he was your dad's a very thoughtful guy, and it looked like he wanted to give this, like yeah, like, baby, I need more time than you're giving me, but this is what I got.
I didn't give him a lot of time. I put him on the spot.
He and my mom were getting ready to go to church, and I was like, da, I'm not trying to just put this on you, but I'm going to do that. He actually said a few things to me, and then he texted me more later, which I thought was cute, like maybe on the.
Way to church, right, I want to get this right.
But the first thing that came out of his mouth in terms of advice on fatherhood was to be of service. That too often we're all focused on what we need, what we want, and he said his role as a father and as a man was to be of service to other people and to do that through example, that you're teaching your children that thinking outside of your needs is really the path to happiness and peace, and it's
underrated and people don't talk about it very often. But that is what he felt like was a really important role as a father to show that, to be of service. And my dad was always the guy like, oh, my goodness, if I needed something, if my mom needed something, if my brother, he would be the guy, no matter what time. If it was two o'clock in the morning and we needed something from the drug store, he would get up and he would go. And he was always that.
Guy who.
Was of service to my entire family. And that is one hundred percent true no matter where he was in the world. I felt like, I remember moments when I had a gymnastics meet and he would literally be in Russia or China and would be coming straight from the airport to sit on a bench for five hours and watch little girls, you know.
Do what they do on the beam and the floor.
Right. But you know, I just but he showed up to your point, like, just showing up is such a huge part of it. But he added the text he wrote to me, he said, one more thing. It's not so much what you say, but more about what you do. And so his he is a man of few words. He and I I was just a joke. He's you know, he's what is he ninety seven percent German according to twenty three and me.
He's a scientist.
He's a microbiologist, so a German scientist coming from a family My grandpa was also a German scientist, so you know, feelings and emotions not a big part of I know that sounds stereotypical, but it just kind of is culturally the way it is.
And he's very left brained, right, that's what it is. Or is it right brain?
See, I'm not.
It's one of the two.
He's the scientific side of the brain, so you know, being a motive and all of that wasn't necessarily how he showed up. But he showed up by being there, by being present, by being strong, by being of service, and being He had a very and has always had an extremely strong moral compass, and that's been a huge part of his life and including his faith. So he passed that along to me what I love about for me at least, and I hear it in your dad's voice too, because I know he was a strong authoritarian
as well. My dad absolutely was as well. But as they get older, they just soften so sweetly. And I see, like I've hugged my dad more as an adult than I probably ever did as a child. And I see him with my daughters and it's just it's beautiful.
It's amazing.
He is so great with your daughter. Yeah, you could see how much. You know what, the cutest part is not him, it's them. How they gravitate towards him.
They will crawl on his lap and hold his hand. And he's tough. He's still tough. He oh, he will go, like you know, toe to toe on from hot topics and current events to just you know, how we live our lives.
My dad doesn't back down.
He's always been strong in his beliefs, which I appreciate, and but there's always healthy debate, and I love and my oh my.
God, my daughters respect the hell out of him.
That's also you know, when you certainly you've lived enough life and you've seen enough things in the world to know that there's just a wisdom that we at least need to acknowledge in the men in our lives. There is a wisdom and a lot to learn.
Whoa just walked in door speaking of the dell? Yes, well time, so he was just creeping in the door, the little one here that we were speaking of. And you know what, that's a perfect, perfect segue to us wrapping up this episode, because Sabine was the one giving us a really hard So this was the scene a little earlier. I was texting with Sabine as we were getting ready to record. And as I'm texting with Sabine trying to get the plan for the day, Robox starts
giving me dad jokes. Yes, so I start typing all these dad jokes to Sabine and she loves dad jokes. She loves them more than anything in the world. Don't you bury it?
You live?
Good dad joke? So do you remember? I don't know if you remember the answers to you? I got four or five here, Okay. What did Spartacus say when a lion ate his wife?
I'm gladiator?
That was my favorite one scene. That's funny smiling. What did the beach say when the tide came in?
How is it see you later?
What was it? Long time no sea?
A long time no sea? What do you give to the dentist of the year a little plaque.
This is.
She's still not laughing. See that's what dad jokes are supposed to be.
You roll your eyes. She is doing the full row eyes. Okay, the old Do you remember this one?
What do you call a happy cowboy, a jolly rancher?
Nothing?
Get some fast blinks?
Okay, this is a good one. I want to hear a joke about construction. I'm still working on it.
Okay, she's nodding her head.
No, okay. Last two, Where does double O seven invest his money in.
The market.
To me? Come on? Wrong? Okay? Last one? Okay, this one is? This went too far? This is okay, this is a little cheesy. Why did the picture go to jail?
He was framed a snarl.
She's just not even trying to participate now, But jokes. We hope you all had a good one. We're gonna see you planning again. We can't thank you all enough. We're getting a lot of getting a lot of really really and robes. You were the one that said it. And I don't look at a lot of stuff. I don't look at social media, I don't look at articles and things. But you were you were kind of over the moon and found some of the response to our last few episodes very hard.
Felt well, I don't know if you remember when you were over I guess right before Analyice left yesterday, she kind of yelled out from a room because we were talking about a podcast. She's like, you guys are getting really positive comments. So I was like, wow, so I read them sometimes that apparently my daughters are reading the comments constantly, so that's a little unnerving, but it's no. It was she was like, they were like, yay, they
were rooting for us. They were excited that it seemed like there was a lot of real positive response, not just to you know, the last few episodes, but I think just you know, it's just it feels good. And we appreciate positive comments. We appreciate people just saying that they enjoyed this or that, and so thank you, thank you.
Keep keep those coming. We appreciate it.
And folks, you can always find us. Official Instagram page for the show is at Amy and TJ Podcast. We are both on our individual accounts on Instagram and TikTok and Twitter as well. Forgive us for not being as active in some of those places. But again thank you for listening. That's only