Hey there, everybody. Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJDJ. Starting for as usual, this conversation you all don't get to We should record the pre conversation before we start, in which every time I say, hey, you want to start and your reaction is absolutely not And then I say.
Why do I have to do it?
And then you say.
You should know by now?
Yeah? Have do?
We have to keep doing that every time.
Every time. Welcome everybody. Thank you all so much, and we should say thank you to a bunch of folks that the last few weeks, even to a month, we've we've put together a few episodes that are really resonating with a lot of folks, and we appreciate a lot of your feedback. Actually I say feedback, but I guess it's nice to know that some of the things we
talk about are resonating with people. And there's been some you know, I've been proud of some of the stuff we put out the last few weeks and the people we've talked to and them help helping them get their messages out. So thank you to the listeners out there to who've been supporting us.
Yeah, thank and we it feels good to know that some of what we experience or what we're feeling is something that you all do too. It just makes it feel more communal, and that's what we're hoping for, and even some of the celebrities who we've had on it feels so personal because it all. I feel like our podcast turn into group therapy so often, but there are
so many people. It doesn't matter if you're a celebrity or if you're you know, wherever you come from, whatever your walk in life is, we all experience the same things, you know. Basically, we all have the same reactions to things, and we all have the same fears and the same hopes and dreams. So it's just it's nice to feel it all come together and to know that some of these stories that we experience resonate.
And no matter who you are, where you are in your life, everybody can relate to something or has some memory. And if you're a parent or a parent of a young child, this you're going through it. Birthday parties, right, do you remember do you have the memory of your first not your first birthday party, but what's the first memory you have of a birthday party in your life?
My own personal one as.
A child that age.
I was six. Wow, okay, I was six. I was in first grade, and I still remember because it was a really big deal. My parents didn't have a lot, so it was a big deal for them. And I got the birthday party thrown at McDonald's and they had a little caboose in the back of one of the McDonald's restaurants, and Ronald McDonald actually came, and it was I was verifying. Yeah now, looking back, yes, maybe that's where my fear of clowns started. I never even thought
about that, but it was just so exciting. I can still remember the boy sitting next to me. His name was Brian Winnikey. Like It's funny, like certain moments that are wow powerful, that meant so much to you, you can remember really significant or actually seemingly insignificant tells now that you get older. But I can still remember the boy sitting next to me. His name was Brian Winnekey.
Was Okay, I'm I mean, I'm a little at this point too much of an adult to still be jealous of a six year old named Brian when I mean right, I mean, it's a little much, ain't it. I should probably Oh my goodness. I mean, he really stole your heart. You're fifty one. I was excited, and as a six year old, you still are talking about we're going to edit this out because wherever that guy is right now, he's sitting back. Yeah, she's still thinking about man.
No, but you know what I'm saying.
I don't.
Actually you don't know, But like you, I just remember it feeling very special and it was a really big deal. And I hadn't had a birthday party yet before that, so it was a big deal.
How about you, I'm trying to I don't remember the age. I remember. I can see the living room, the dining room, the kids that were gathered around, and I was opening presents. This is five or six, probably, but I can remember opening presents. And then there was a present that my parents brought in. It was still wrapped, but I knew what it was. It was this Gi Joe set. It had like like fifty pieces in this thing, and I
was opening somebody else's gift. But I saw them coming with that and I knew what it was, and I like, hell with everything else, and it was really rude, And now I think it was a really but it was that is the first memory birthday party memory I have. Do you remember, though, what's the your kids though their birthday parties? Do you have Your kids are seventeen and twenty now twenty one.
Twenty one and about to turn eighteen next week? Yeah, oh yeah, got a birthday?
Do you remember when they were four, five, six, seven, eight? The birthday parties?
So I remember, I think so many of us kind of take traditions from our own families. So I didn't throw my kids a traditional birthday party of any kind except for like my parents, like the grandparents. That was it until they were in school. So when they got to kindergarten and first grade, I said, I actually put a rule because I just didn't want things to get out of control. Here in Manhattan people it's there's there's
big birthday parties. So I said they could have a party every other year, and I staggered it with the girls so ill because I just didn't want to go through. They could have like a small group of friends, but like a big birthday party. So the rule was in my kid's school when they were in elementary school, you couldn't just invite a few people. You had to invite
the entire grade. That's a significant expense. Yes, wow, And we have small New York City apartments, so typically it has to be you know, at some other place, and then they charge exorbitant amounts of money for all of these kids. So just from honestly from a financial standpoint, I had to I made them choose. Every other year they could have like one or two friends have a sleepover. That was fine.
Why would you take on the whole like thirty kids.
Yes, And the first time I did it, I thought, there's no way all the kids are going to say yes, guess what it was at Build a Bear and all the kids showed up as Build a Bear.
Yeah.
I made that mistake once. It didn't make it again.
So wait, so who got a fifth birthday party? Analisa? Ava? You said they had to staber.
It worked out they're almost four years apart, so three and a half years apart. So I don't know how I did it. But whenever they got into kindergarten, that's when it starts about this.
Did you ever have to throw two birthday parties in the same year because Ava won in one at annals or the years were staggered?
I don't remember that because Ava is in December and Analyse is in May. So it just I can't please. I wish I could remember that, but I cannot tell you honestly. But I did make them go every other year.
And you love that stuff. Don't you miss throwing birthday parties?
I do not?
Why not?
Baby, it's a lot of work.
What you mean, it's a lot of work. Hey, show up, let's have some fun and celebrate my child. That's the end of it.
I think every parent knows it is a lot of work, and it's sometimes it's not just a lot of work to throw one, it's a lot of work to attend one, because often you go with your kids and then there's a time commitment with other parents, and it's just it is work.
Now, are you one that does the every kid that's invited gets a party favor or like a bag, a gift bag.
Or something that wasn't Yes, because it felt a goodie bag. Yes, because I was told by my children that they well, they all would come back with one. So then it became this thing where you felt you had to then give a goodie bag for everybody. Yes, it's a tremendous amount of work. Did you do any of these things.
Well, yes, but with Sabine it was very specific in that you can invite this many people, like I wanted to see her list, like, you don't even like that girl, take her off please, So it was all of her parties were very much Oh it wasn't an open and update. Oh no, no, no, no no.
There wasn't a rule that you had to invite the entire class.
No, that was it my kid's There was a rule that you cannot invite the entire class.
I mean that would have been my personal family rule, but it was superseded by the school's rule.
Okay, but a part of the issue in birthday parties is that it's expensive. You got cake, Yes, you got to provide food. Now here in New York. I'm not sure around the rest of the country, but here it's a big thing. Like the adults, the parents expect to be fed, and they expect alcohol. Yes a lot of time.
There's an open bar almost at every birthday party.
So you got that. And then these goodie bags were talking about end up being incredibly expensive if you have to do ten, fifteen, twenty, certainly, but even if you do five to ten. Here in New York, you buy the bag, you buy a card, you get this little widget, you got this bag of candy. You have to do a Rollblotz gift card. You got to do all and
next thing you know, it is incredibly expensive. So the idea of a fiver birthday party for your child sounds great, but it also is something I only learned about about thirty minutes now.
Same I actually learned about it thirty minutes before you.
Yes, this morning, Andy, Emma, you'll know what a fiver or birthday party is. All right. Our producers are sitting here shaking their heads. Please Rope explain.
Well, I just want to start by saying, God, I wish that was around when my kids were younger. But I think we saw the trend maybe first around twenty nineteen when we looked it up. We just did a bunch of really quick recent research. But that's the first
time we saw someone suggest this. But because of all of the things we just mentioned, I don't know who started the trend, but they just said, hey, instead of going through this arduous task of going and finding a birthday present, you don't even really know what the kid wants. They may already have one, and you got to get the gift card and the receipt the whole thing, and spending usually thirty, sometimes upwards of fifty dollars per child,
and that really adds up. So they came up with the idea, don't bring a card, don't bring a gift, just bring five dollars. Wow, that would have made my life so much easier, not just for my kids attending a part, but when I threw a party, you now have to deal with thirty gifts of things your kids don't actually need and may not have even wanted in the first place.
So it sounds like a brilliant idea brilliant So why then one mother who expressed that she was having essentially a fiver r birthday party got incredible online hate, incredible social media hate. I guess you could say this post she went viral. But the idea that she was saying is that instead of bringing a gift, hey we got a little backyard renovation, bring us five bucks. And for whatever reason that set say no, no, no, I shouldn't say
whatever reason. But some people thought that was tacky, it was rude, it was lazy, it was unnecessary, and it's not what should be done. And this mother is named Rachel Gibbs and she lives down in Houston. And you know what, she stood by what she said and why and justify and explained why she wanted to do it. But still I don't know, even after hearing some of the explanation that a lot of people gave her a break.
About that's right. Well, you know what, And I think it'd be the perfect time to bring in Rachel right now because she is joining us from Houston. Rachel, welcome to the podcast.
Hi, thanks for having me.
All right, so tell us what kind of feedback, if we can call it, that you've been getting after your fiver announcement.
Yeah, the birthday party heard around the world, right, No, I think you know that feedback was something.
I know what it came from.
It's because when I put in the video, I said, we have some work to do, like we.
Need to resaw it and do all this stuff.
On the invitation I put like make it a kid's paradise or what I'll like, help us make our backyard our kids paradise or something.
We're getting a swing set. We should have clarified that. But yeah, I don't.
Know really why people are so upset, like you don't get invited to birthday parties for people you don't know. So like if somebody that you know invites you to a party and puts a simple request, it's like a wedding registry, or people send Amazon links to their kids' wish lists all the time.
I don't know.
I don't feel it's any different.
Okay, Well, why do you think it would have made a difference if you would have been more specific and said it's for a swing set versus just a backyard renovation. Why do you think that would have made a difference.
I don't know.
I think maybe because people see that as something that like my husband and I would benefit from, even though like my kids spend hours in our backyard every single day, Like both of our children are on the grass. Well it's not even grass, it's just stirk. We need to resawd. But they spend so much time in the backyard.
And Rachel, the feedback, the negative feedback that you got from a lot of people, did that come from people who didn't know you? How did the actual party guests respond to your request?
Oh, everyone who like was invited either just showed up and didn't bring five dollars I think we had five people, five four or five people bring cash.
You know what, who did you discuss this idea with ahead of time? And what was the reaction from like your husband, your your your family, your friends about it?
Yeah, yeah, so as far as family goes, just my mom comes, but I mean my in laws loved the idea. I took the idea actually from another friend of mine who had done this before. But she's up in Canada, so I guess that maybe is something they do up there. I don't know, I had never heard of it before.
But we had a great time. Seriously, like I can't even like come up with words just because it was so it was such a nineties vibe party, like literally everybody just hanging out in the backyard, babies in like the little tight swings go like it was like the cozy coops, the old school stuff.
Like it was such a good time.
You didn't have entertainers, and you didn't have fireworks, and you didn't have snow cone machines and all the things that we see people do. But when did you first start seeing the negative reaction? And what were some of the worst things that folks wrote to you?
So the worst thing is.
I don't know if y'all have heard of the like boy mom versus girl mom culture, Like they have this toxic idea about boy mom culture versus girl mom culture boy mom culture being like the moms have that like weird attachment to their sons right and like prioritize their sons over their daughters or almost romanticize that relationship. And when I put in the video like these are things I did for my son's part or that for my daughter's party that I didn't.
Do for my sons or whatever.
When I made that comparison, people took it as, oh, you prioritize the sun but not the daughter, And I'm like, no, he it was a guinea pig like this.
I didn't know what I was doing.
Why did I spend like two hundred and fifty dollars on customized cookies for a one year old's birthday party?
That was so dumb?
Like it was dumb and not No. I went to Kroger, got a Betty Cropper cake mix and made some cupcakes the second time and it cost four dollars.
Okay, well, can we compare what you spent on your sons versus your daughter's birthday party.
For my son's party, I've probably spent around one thousand years. It was still in our house, so we still didn't like go to a venue or anything. But I had it catered and I did the cake, and I did the cookies, and I did the party favors for everyone, and I did the custom download from Etsy where I had everything printed out, and all the balloon walls and this that and the third and all this. It was just a bunch just crap that I ended up just
throwing away love. So this time I had We had a big ballpit blow up thing that one of two of my friends, their daughter is same age as our son, and they bought like a blow up ballpit thing because they're like, we use it all the time. We blow it up for our daughter in our backyard all the time. So they're like, do you want us to bring it. I was like, heck, yeah, come on. So they brought that.
So all the toddlers were loving that. And then another one of my friends owns a balloon company and she did the balloon arch thing, so that was really pretty.
I didn't have to buy him on Amazon or.
Anything, but that ended up costing you what this birthday party the one year old. This last birthday party calls you what less than.
Four hundred dollars.
So I mean, as as a mom who has been there, done that, As TG said, mine are twenty one and almost eighteen, I applaud that you know you you you do make mistakes the first time because you kind of go all out and you realize, wait, this birthday party isn't for my child, It's for me, and everyone is one upping each other on whatever it is Pinterest or Instagram or whatever, and then you start to realize, wait a minute, I'm going to do something that makes sense
for my family. So were you surprised at the at some of the hate.
Yeah, I was, like I said, I wasn't.
It wasn't one of those videos that was like trying to get a reaction out of people. Some of my content is very curated and some of it is pretty off the riff. I'm a pretty low effort content creator, That's what I like to say. I'm like, I'm not going to sit here and edit all this, so I don't have time for that. I have two small children. I quite literally do not have the time for it. But when the comment started coming in and the hate
started coming in. It was you know, the like, oh you did this for your son, Like imagine your daughter logging on in fifteen years and seeing how much you don't love her.
And it was in that moment that I was like.
You know, like the parent and you was just like it was like I saw red just like just started like rage responding, not really rage responding, but just like trying to defend myself and really like be like no, like choosing to misunderstand this and then coming at me. I'm of course trying to like use logic with people, and it's just trolls on the Internet. And then I get myself all in a tizzy.
And so are you cool or comfortable with that? Now? Do you actually think there is a good portion of the population that has takes issue with what you're doing? Or do you really just think you were trolled a bit and then you reacted to it, and maybe you if you've come down and calm down a bit from the red rage you said you hadn't for sure.
Yeah, I think it's a combo, right, Like I think, of course there's the trolls that are going to intentionally misunderstand and just comment this stuff just to get other people in the comments riled up, just to get that whole situation going. And then there's people who are just like stupid, you know, and just like don't listen well or.
You know, there's just that percentage of the population.
Rachel, has it turned you off at all from documenting your life as a mom of two on social media? And is this something you're earning money from? Talk a little bit about why you go on social media and share your life and open yourself up to potential criticism for sure.
For sure, Yeah, this definitely has not stopped me from sharing at all.
I am a full time content creator. It is my job.
I pay my bills from posting on social media and working with brands. I am, you know, fortunate enough to have posted a brand deal this morning with a really cool company.
And you know, sharing. I know, when I share, I am opening myself up to criticism.
And I typically have pretty thick skin, right Like most of the times, I'm just gonna give you a witty comeback or respond like you get it. You know, Sarcasm is hard sometimes, like I just kind of whatever would let.
It roll off my back.
But when people say, when people attack my husband and my children. That's when I like, go feral. It's been because it's not they aren't posting, it's me posting. You can say what you want about me, but don't say what you want about my children and my husband.
You said you had thick skin, But is there some part of this that you went from being that you might be angered by some of the things some people say. But were you ever actually hurt by it where your your feelings hurt to where you you had some quiet moments to yourself that involved reflection and tears and doubt about the party itself and the post itself.
One hundred percent. There have been two posts ever that I have turned comments off on. The first one was the first video I had go viral a couple of years ago, and thisecond one was this one, And it was because I was so hurt by the hateful words that thousands of people were saying, like and it was reiterating the same point over and over again that like, truthfully, I know in my heart aren't true. I know this
is I know we had a wonderful time. I know I didn't provide a meal, but I had snacks, which was plenty of like we had some leftover. I know those things, right, but it's the fact that those things are now on the internet, and like the internet's forever, and those things are out there about me, and I filter my own comments because if I don't filter those comments, more comments like that will come in.
So you have to read through them, and it does get at you.
Sometimes it got at you. And we know what that feels like to read hurtful comments and to try to thicken your skin up more so to speak. Yeah, we do, we have a little Yeah, we know a little bit about that. But I'm curious, did that latest post that garnered all that reaction, some of it and maybe even a lot of it negative. Did it help you financially? Did it boost your profile? You profited off of it?
Like absolutely, I am very open and honest about the fact that I'm a content creator, like how I pay my bills.
I let people know it, like, yes, it paid for the party and then some that one video did so thank you. Everyone appreciate that.
Okay, see this is where Rachel, people will step back. And I have been fooled recently by another guest we had on the podcast who posted something on it was TikTok. Yeah, and I fell for it, and she was making fun of me, like, yeah, I gotta stir things up. I gotta get people to listen. I gotta get people to chime in. Now going back and listening to your TikTok video. Come on, Rachel, you went a little hard. You didn't
just say I'm having a party. I'm doing you like, no, get out of my house at eleven.
Hangs up the sign, please lead by mine. I am that person.
What I'm saying that comes across the people that don't know you as ah, she's being rude or she's being this. Didn't you know Rachel a little bit that you were what you were doing and messing with us and setting some of us off.
Of course that's my job, right, Like, of course I know that kind of thing's gonna happened. I was not expecting me in entire I was not expecting NBC and iHeartRadio and People Magazine to be calling me.
But you don't mind that we did birthday.
Party in my backyard. That's Sipper down right.
I mean you your delivery and you say that's exactly who you are. You were like, this is the way it's going to be. I'm not making a cake, fools, there's.
No hair eat before you come.
It's at nine am, out of my house by eleven thirty.
Let me tell you what I have.
People show up and ask for mimosas I was like, no.
No, that would have beel.
You're sure you don't have any prosecco like nothing. I just need a.
Market here, Tomato juice. Nothing I could work with it.
Did Did you get though, some support for the no gift part of your birthday party? Because that really resonated with me. It is it is out of control, I think. And you know, this has been a decade for me since I had to go through this, but even then it was out of control. And I think it's gotten even worse with social media.
Yeah, And I think especially in the position that I'm in, like being an influencer content creator like I have, you know, two hundred thousand plus people watching what I do, Like I can't. It's not responsible of me to put on this big thing when that's not me, like it's one it's beyond my means, Like it's just not something that we can afford throwing these four or five six thousand dollars birthday parties, because that's how much these parties cost.
It's insanity and like it's just not a responsible way for me to spend my money.
So you know, I don't want to be authentic be myself with that.
What would you say there was? Looking back on it now, Is there a mistake you made in how you threw the party? Was there a mistake you made in how you made that TikTok post in talking about the party?
Honestly, no, I don't.
I'm very like I I feel like you have to be proud of what you say when you post stuff online for everybody to hear it, Like.
You put it on the internet.
It's there forever that has been like drilled as a millennial, that was drilled into my head like I was there at like the birth of social media and all of that. It is on the internet forever. So what you post you have to be proud of. So there's nothing I would have done differently for the party. There's you know, maybe not respond to so many of the negative comments. Maybe that would be the thing, so it would get pushed to like more positive people's.
Algorithm and wait and when you responded, I didn't go through all of that, But I mean, I haven't met you before, only here. It seems like you might fire back at somebody pretty harshly. That was criticized. So were you going tit for tat with folks a lot of times?
Yeah?
For sure? Oh match your energy.
So give us an example of of of something, a comment that someone wrote and your response.
Oh gosh, okay, let me let me, let me go.
We can't wait.
And pull out one that you're not especially proud of.
Sure for sure. Okay.
Someone comments hard pass, no presence, no cake, no food, dot dot dot dot, why bother? I'm all for the early time and minimize money spent. But with her attitude, it sounds like she doesn't even want to party.
So why.
Oh no? Whoa wait for it?
I said, you weren't invited?
You know what. I appreciate that one, the simplicity.
Yeah, it was perfect, on point, on point, Rachel.
That's funny.
Someone else commented, aren't you delightful this?
I was upset when I commented this. I said, when I don't have to deal with comments from crotchety, mean old ladies like you.
Oh, Rachel, that's not gonna get you any good will.
I know thirty one people liked it.
That's so funny. I mean, do you usually fire back and respond and how do you feel that's received them? You said, thirty one people liked it, so do you feel like do you feel better responding?
I mean, I think it's kind of like that, like do you feel better for being rude? Like you kind of get that little bit of a dopamine hit like to be honest, But.
No, it doesn't solve anything. All it does is push it to the wrong people's algorithm.
Like you know, you've spoken about what you think about and what's appropriate for your family and a birthday party for your kids, But what do you generally think about I'm sure you've been to plenty and seen plenty and invited to plenty, but what do you think about where we are generally they're in Houston, in Texas, in the country when it comes to how we all view birthday parties, either as a as an invitee or the person throwing it.
I mean, so I could go into like a whole thing about this about like why I think that we make every single occasion in our lives this like whole big thing, But I'm not I don't need to get
all into that. But no, I think we have an incredible amount of pressure on us, mostly from social media, just because we feel like we need to you know, share, and then we have this like, okay, well, what happens in fifteen years when my kids look back and they don't have the birthday party that so and so had, and so and so doesn't have this when so and
so had that, Right, it's the whole. Like my first car was a nineteen eighty eight BMW that the ragtop leaked, and then I have, you know, a friend pulling up next to me and her brand new SOB convertible that didn't leak, right, So it was kind of that sort of thing. But for our kids now and then we have social media on top of it.
And you just reminded me. So my daughter, as I mentioned, is turning eighteen next week, but she just got and they're all of her friends, she's a senior in high school, are all now getting their college acceptance letters. Right, So she told me, and she was showing me on Instagram all of these moms who then when they find out where their daughter or their son is going to college. I forgot the name of the party. Is it called like a pop party whatever. You come home and you're
the parents surprises the kid with all this. Oh, it's a merch party with all the merchandise from the college that they got accepted to, and it's all laid out in a beautiful display with balloons and streamers and sweatshirts and sweatpants and socks and hats. And she's like, Mom, look at all these and I just said, sorry, that's just not who I am. I'm paying for college. You're welcome. But it's funny because then you know, your kid feels
less and like their parents went all out. And I said, you know that that is just for a photo, for an Instagram photo. She's like, no, I totally get it. That's absolutely what it is. But it's getting out of control, from birthday parties to whatever life event it may be. It does feel like everyone's trying to present this perfection or this look what I did for my child, and it's tough. I know, a merchant party, I forgot she
said it was called. But apparently it's a thing and I don't even know the name of it.
That's kind of cool, but to each his or her own, of course, But it's it's just you can't keep up with the Joneses. You can't finance. Everybody's not able to do that. If you are, that's cool, but I I we we talked Rachel before we came in today to talk to you. Robe said something. We were just discussing you and I even had another podcast idea. I'll tell
you she said, we were talking about you. She said, I'm not gonna judge her for it, and that's where we I think the issue is, and that some of the comments and whatnot that's going on, that is what you did. I applaud it. I would have loved to have been the parent who was throwing it. I would have loved to been the parent attending it. But we we get into this thing to where we're judging somebody else for it. What you did is what you did. Knock yourself out, cool and I love it. But even
if I didn't, I can't judge you for it. And that is where this all comes down. It's different for everybody. It's called say a bed party, okay, And our producer just told us the thing we were talking about, the college thing is called.
A bed party, bed party, so bed party because they lay it all out on the bed and they surprised the child. No one told me about a bed party, So now I felt like a bad mom because I didn't even know what this was. What do you mean a bed party?
So, Rachel, when your kids get into college, I'm like, oh my gosh.
Like, what am I going to?
I mean, I thought it was elaborate when I, like when I pledged my sorority and my mom had been in the same sorority. She like came to our campus and like decorated my dorm room and stuff.
So your kid's probably not going to get a bed party. They didn't even get a cake on the first birthday, Rachel. Why not a cake? Though?
We have donuts and we had cupcakes by here, and you know, to play off of what TJ said, I do. I do think that is the important part of all of this, and we have to all be more mindful of this. When it comes to social media in comparison,
it is this judgment free zone. You get to do what you think is best for your family, and you can share what you think is best for your family, and it might make people feel it might spark an idea for someone, it might make someone feel more comfortable in the fact that they can't afford to throw these
elaborate parties. So you are, like, just by sharing your choices, you are not just angering some people, but I think you're probably validating some people or making people feel less guilty about not being able to throw these elaborate parties.
So what you're doing actually is great. I think that is the beautiful part of social media if people can view it that way, where you can feel like you're not alone or that someone else is doing it differently and that's okay, And that's what we're hoping, you know, even anyone listening to this podcast that that hopefully is the takeaway. Everyone's got different ways of doing things. I thought it was a great idea as well. So but I just think that there's good that can come out
of it. It's how we view it and not being adversarial with people because they do things differently.
For sure.
Like I literally went to a birthday party on Monday of this week for a three year old at ten am.
They don't want for us.
Yeah, it's perfect, right, but it's like others you can't go. But I'm sure if that mom would have posted it would have been a whole thing.
What about the positive comments. We focus on some of the negative stuff, but I assume you've gotten a lot of positive feedback.
Yeah, people love the like thank you for the asking us to not bring anything, like very intentionally like because that was my thing. My children truthfully need nothing nothing. I as like because I'm a content creator. We have stuff show up on our porch all the time. Brand send us stuff, clothes, toys, cleaning stuff, you name it, we get it. So I'm constantly donating stuff. Both my children are only grandchildren on both sides, like they have
their their cousins like very much stuff. They're very spoiled, and my husband and I are very much like our children.
Like.
The way that they.
Express their love at this age is different than it will be later on. So we show them the way that they know that their love by giving them things. Right, My two year old loses his mind when I get him one of those stupid little juices with the character on top. Oh my god, he loses it. It's cheaper than me going to Starbucks and getting a coffee. Why would I not get it that?
For him?
It's made his entire day, you know. That's the kind of spending that I want to be intentional about. But I don't want you to bring a pacamega blocks to my house. I have so many I don't need any more. It then creates a task for me to do something or it has to be regifted or or so. That was really the big yes yes was that don't bring stuff. And then the nine am eleven thirty like being able to do things and like kids being able to nap, that was huge.
I love it, and you know, to that point, I love the no gift idea, but I also someone did this for me, uh and I really appreciated this, and I've paid it forward to anytime I give a gift to someone, I say, and don't you dare write me a thank you note? We're good?
I always do that. I don't want it. Don't want it because in the South.
People still exest it, like let me open up my drawer right here and get out my thank you cards, like ily have thank you cards like in my drawer right here, ready to go at my desk because I write them so often.
Exactly, And so when someone gives you permission to I know you, I know you're grateful. You don't have to write a card, get the postage stamp and send it in the mail. And that was such a freeing thing. I just said, that's actually the best gift anyone's given me. I don't have to write a thank you card. Thank you. DJ's perplexed right now.
Well, I forgot. I didn't know about the thank you card thing. I have no wonder a lot of these parents don't like me.
You haven't been thanking them for all the guts there over the years and birthday, birthday thank you?
All right? What what did the five dollars though? I mean, how big of a dent can you make in your renovation or the swing set for five dollar? I mean, did you really did it really help that much?
No, we got fifty dollars on this cute little thing that's going in a shadow box. That was the point, though, Like we really didn't want people to bring something. We just wanted our friends and family and show up and spend time with us. Like that was the thing, Like if you have five bucks in your pocket, sure, but like otherwise, please just come. That's kind of the concept.
And my only other thing I want to ask is what is the next birthday party going to look?
Like, oh gosh, for Hazel Page or for Sam because his birthdays in June.
Well, I mean, since we all know you, you like the sun better than the daughter. Yeah, I like.
You got that weird relationship mom son, Yeah, we get it.
I should probably I should probably start giving that some thought.
Uh, next month, really, what is the birthday party? What are you going to do birthday party? What? What is it going to look like? What have you learned from this that you will take into the next birthday party experience?
Oh, the time was perfect for this age group.
Like everyone with little kids, like they're up that early, and like, I have a cousin who has a daughter and they live forty five minutes away. I didn't expect them to come because that's a long way for them to come at nine thirty in the morning. So when she was like, hey, we're that's a long I'm like, girl, I wasn't expecting you to come.
Like, it's fine.
I invite the you know few friends that we have in town who have kids to come over. So that's definitely what we're going to be doing. Maybe do ten o'clock as they get a little bit older, but just when they're out of diapers, you know, But the early time was awesome. The short time period was also awesome. Like that hour and a half, it doesn't feel like you're just kind of sitting around waiting for things to go.
But both left. They left when they were supposed to leave.
Yeah, people, I mean his kids get crumpy around that time.
The week was it.
It was a Saturday, Saturday, but like it was nap time. The little ones were like getting a little bit fussy, Get in the car, go home, nap, go on to the rest of your day.
Are you going to continue the five or theme?
Possibly? I don't know. I think it was just for this one, probably for the next few.
I will until they can specifically ask for things, you know, but my kids don't. They don't need anything right now, so you know, I would say contribute to their five twenty nine, but they get contributed to frequently. They've had them since the week both of them were born.
They both have Saving Scouts.
And I mean, I'll help you with the swing set.
Membership, science museum membership, the aquarium membership.
We have all the things you.
Nine. I mean, the swing set is one thing, but now you women contribute, it's more of a long term.
People that told me to have people contribute to their college funds or to donate to charity.
I'm like, okay, I don't care.
Well, we look forward to your next post, Rachel, And uh, congratulations on getting that post boosted and paying for the party and then some That's smart parenting in my opinion. So, and thank you for coming on the podcast. We appreciate it.
Oh, thanks so much for having me. I appreciate it.
All Right, Rose, what do we do now? Sabine's twelfth is coming up? No, I mean, what point do you stop doing kids like Kitty birthday Kitty.
Yeah, I think I think once you get out of elementary school. I think, you know, middle school, I think you can have sleepover. And that's where I graduated to that really quickly, and it was nice and easy, and I was happy to have those elementary school years done with.
Okay, that's where we're going now, because it has Sabine's last couple of been wildly expensive.
Yeah, New York City though, I mean.
It has.
We don't have backyards, you.
Don't have that. Yes, you can't just come home and collect. You have to put that. You have to rent out of space, you have to do something. I did a hotel suite in Times Square, which they loved.
I'm sure they did.
Did that one year where they could look out over Times Square and just be up all night. And the other one was renting out the movie theater. Yeah, which was a great, great plan. You got them all in the confined space. But it's New York.
Yeah, it's expensive.
I know.
I did the Bowling Alley party that was not cheap.
How many that was still?
All the kids, yes, the whole thing. It's exhausting. So anyway, I applaud Rachel and thank you all for listening. And we love our kids, and we do love our kids a lot. And yeah, I'm paying for college right now, so save your money now while you can. All right, everybody, thanks for listening. You can check us out on Instagram, Amy, and TJ Podcast. We have our individual accounts as well. And thank you all for listening.