Apod Shape Production.
Welcome back to another episode of Am I A Bad Mom?
A podcast?
Is the question we constantly asked three times a week, am I a bad Mom?
It's funny because when you tell.
People that we have this podcast and it's called am I A Bad Mom? I think the assumption is, oh, you know, yeah, you're not really a bad mum. But then I think if they were actually to listen to some of the shit we do, like, oh wow.
When we think about it, Okatie, people listen and they go, oh my gosh, they did it too, because that's what I do when I hear other people stories. I'm like, we're in the same boat.
But it's kind of that stuff that you feel like you shouldn't talk house. Should it all as mums? You know, you're like, oh, yes, I do that too, But you don't really want to stay out.
No, no, because you're to take ownership then of your ship behavior, clearly talking about shit behavior. I spoke about it briefly on a podcast maybe last week, and it was about the cake bake sale at Netball, and I replied to the group saying, I'm so sorry. I'm really bummed that I'm missing not being there for the bake sale, and what did my sister in law? She messaged me back and was like, are you really though? Like I can already see through this. So fast forward another week.
My nephew is turning three. It's his birthday party. I miss it because I'm out of work function and I sent a group text to my family saying I'm very sad not to be there. Give Leo a big hug for me. Two family members sent me back private messages circling it going But are you really though? And like sarcastic things going, You're not really though? You're not really sad about missing a three year old's birthday partty?
Were you going to be asked to bake something?
Absolutely not? But anyway it got called out on it again.
Okay, you're in a safe space now, how do you really feel about missing out?
Am I a bad mum for not wanting to know you feel like this? I know, deep down you feel like this because you've got too near sixteen year old girls that I can't even imagine what's going on in their lives behind the scenes.
They even say that they're like, you don't want to last, you don't want to know it you don't want to know. I'm like, how much do you know about blah?
And they go, you don't want to know. It makes me so nervous. For sixteen, as we know, Gracie headed off for a week long camp.
Yeah, I was going to ask you how that one, because that's a long time.
A week. We spoke about this and I was like, yeah, it's going to be great. Monday to Friday, it'll fly by. Got to Wednesday night. We were sitting there eating dinner, and I just have this moment, like this overwhelming, Oh my god, I really miss Gracie. I wonder what she's doing. You know, you haven't spoken to them, you have no communication. I wonder if she's having great time, you know, like all the But at the same time, my tummy was like in this turmoil of just missing her, but also
like a little bit of worry. And this is where that comes from.
Yeah, this is well, yeah, it's on for a month thing. Because I don't feel like dads feel the same.
I don't think. I don't think she haven't even noticed that she was gone.
Yeah, and so four nights yeah, yeah, see, mine have only ever gone for two nights, and it's usually a Monday Tuesday, which is annoying because I'm like, we can't do anything.
Katie would have loved it. It was seven thirty eight m drop off on the Monday, three pm pick up on the Friday. Yeah so good, not even an early mark.
Yeah so good. This is the thing, though, right, and this is the same as if you were to have like a weekend away. So forget school camp for a second, but you have a weekend away without your kids, and you're so excited for it. It's needed, you need that
time apart. And then you spend the entire time talking about your kids, whether you're with your husband's friends or whatever, and the whole time talking about them, and then you're texting them, and then they're texting you, and then they're facetiming.
When they FaceTime, and you're on a weekend where you're like, I'm not answering, I don't want to connect right now.
That's why when I went to that in health retreat, no Wi Fi was the best thing, no face time, no text messages. So anxious about it ended up being the best I know.
I was telling someone else about that actually, about how you were sad to be coming home because during COVID you never wanted to leave the house, and now this is the first time I've ever heard you say you were sad about coming home. I was fucking spun out. I was like, who this This is not my friend Katie. Anyway back to not wanting to know though my child, smallest one. I went over and picked up Gracie. I turned around, went back to get Elsie because they were
like seven minutes apart, right of the bell going. In the seven minutes, my second born child has been able to get information from Gracie's friends, who is still floating around the school waiting for parents, to the point Katie, She's literally looking at me with the biggest smile walking across the oval, and I thought, what's that smug look about? And I'm looking at else, going what is she doing? She goes, Oh, she comes across and she looks at me.
She goes, I know everything that happened on camp everything. And I'm thinking, I just picked up your sister literally lack seven minutes ago, and obviously I'm not going to go what happened? Tell me everything in the seven minutes. I've got a structure this right for the information to come right you can't just be straight up, mind you. She did jump off the bus, and she looked so happy, like she was beaming. She was so happy.
Right, I'm just sorry, just imagining my kids when they get back from camp. Honestly, like last time, and they camped in actual tents last time. They had to do all the shit themselves and build the fire and all that kind of stuff. When they dragged themselves off the bus, they looked like they'd been to war. They literally looked like they'd just come home from like being on the front line.
And they got in the car.
I was like, you stink. And as we know, my girls the ah are now they love to smell nice. It's all about showering and putting all the sprays on and everything.
I just looked at them.
They look completely deflated and when you stink, and they went, yeah, I know, And Hally looked at me and went, Mum, I'm wearing the same war yesterday morning.
I don't know how bad Graceie was down that rabbit hole, but she still looked like she'd been at war. But she was so happy, like she'd had the best time. Yeah. A few of the other kids were getting off and I was looking at him. I was like, they're rough. They haven't slept for four days, like they're rough. The teachers look so rough. I was like, enjoy sleeping for
the next two days, because you don't need that. But yeah, I just looked at Elsie when she started to try, and she wanted to divulge everything before we even got in the gate. Now Gracie's been home ten minutes. I said to her, I don't want to know. I don't want to know else she's mum, and I went, I want Gracie to tell me when she's ready to tell me. And she goes, Okay, can I just tell you one thing? I'm thinking Fuck if I say yes to one thing anyway,
I said, yep, go hit me with it. This was before we even got to the gate, so we're standing at the gate. Hadn't even said she because she's got a boyfriend. Oh, I said, who is it? She is? You really want to know? I said, oh, I thought there's one particular child's name that if I hear, I'm gonna absolutely roast her about. Yeah, she told me who it was and all the rest, and I was like, Okay, that's enough. Do you feel better now? She's yeah, she goes, I can't wait to go, and I said, no, let
her tell you. And then, in true Elsie style, like a bulleted gate, she was just straight in there, great hate, I know everything.
So Elsie has gone running over to Gracie, and Gracie's dive velged.
Yeah oh yeah, yeah yeah. So gave each other a big, big information and then went straight up to the room. And I didn't try and follow or listen or do anything because I thought, I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I do want to know, but I wanted to come from Grace. I don't want it to be like gossip. I want it.
Did she tell you about it?
N We sat down to dinner that night, and she was dead set, like you know when you're drunk and you're trying to pretend that you're not drunk. That's how tired she was.
Yeah.
So she's like like her eyes were really stretched and she's just trying to talk a million miles an hour, but it was all stumbling, and I was just sitting there like, and she was telling me the most monotonous, boring stories, like stepping me through, like step by step by step, and then I was just like, I know you're tired. You don't have to keep telling me about your boyfriend. Tell me about this, so tell me about what else went on camp. She looked at me and smocked.
I said, do you have a boyfriend now? She goes yeah, and then she told me obviously who it is, and she goes, oh, it doesn't matter, I'm going to dump him tomorrow. Anyway, I said, well, you can't because it's the weekend, and don't be one of those girls. I was like, that's not kind. But at the same time, I was like, why do you invite him for dinner? I'd love to get to know him. Maybe he's a really nice boy. She's like, this is so embarrassing, and I was like, so.
What she didn't want to tell you? Oh god, no, I's inviting move for dinner.
I know. I was like, I just want you to tell me. I don't want to hear it from everyone else. Anyway, that was Camp. Didn't want to know, found out more information than I wanted to, But.
You still don't know because I'm like, well, how did this relationship start?
Who said? What?
What was said was their hand holding?
I asked that. I asked what I said, oh, what do you do? Hold hands on the bus? She went bright red. I said, did you kiss? She was like, Mom, don't even sat like got really offended. So if I was to take her word off of her body language, I can tell which one.
Yourself.
Lucky. It was just what was it?
Year six? Year six camp?
You know what my mom said? Nanad was sitting at the table. Let me get said.
Nana D said, at least it wasn't band camp.
It's fun time at camp. No, it was worse. She saw me out in front of my kids. She sat there and she goes, well, do you want to start talking about what you did when you were in grade six? Rachel? I was like, what are you talking about? And then in my head I was like, what camp was I out in grade six? Fuck? Fuck funcks. No we're not talking about that. What did you do? I was just caught kissing a boy. I always got caught