Phantom shi*ers!

Apo Shape Production.

Welcome back to another episode and am I Dad Mom podcast. We're on Instagram as well at am I A Bad Mum?

Yeah, some good memes we get sent on.

The very good memes and some very just hilarious responses. Like I was saying to the other day, one of the responses that came through to something that I put on social was about my child kicking the hole in the wall.

Was just like, don't worry, We're all in the same boat.

My son put his head through a wall when he was having sex with his girlfriend in her house in the family home, and I was just like, oh, it sent me for six.

I was like, did you tell her that?

Yeah? Yeah.

I didn't even try to make any no, no, no.

No, it was just straight up that's how we were having sex. I put my head through the wall. I'd have to say that I've never put my head through any wall, so I'm not sure what they were doing, but it sent me for a six. But it also then provides that little piece of like our am I A Bad Mum community all just like dancing together to go don't worry, it's happening to all of us.

We're all in it. We're all on the same boat.

Yeah, my kid was just doing flips on a mattress.

It's a lot more wholesome.

Am I a bad mum for clearly not knowing I looked after my nephew Leo, he's three and a half. Yeah, And when I say looked after, it was basically that Jay wanted to be my brother outside doing yard stuff with Sam and so then he leaves Leo inside with me. Yeah, totally fine, because I never get like the little boy time kind of. So we just like we hang out, you know, we get the cars out, we play cars back and forth for hours, We ride the motorbike, we do all that stuff, right, yep. And it's such a

Yeah, yeah, that part for me, I go, oh no. I used to just cry.

Like Jay would call me from work some days and I'd be like, I've just spent the whole day clearing.

Up wei and poo. Yeah, it's tough.

And then it got to the point where the girls would at night you know how you do that, Like, yeah, we would go to bed, pick them up, put them on the toilet.

They'd go for a week put them back.

But then what I got really annoyed at is then the going back to them needing a wei in the night and then waking you up.

So I ended up putting nappies.

I was like, this is probably where my part with Leo comes from, is that I'm not saying I got lucky, but I put the hard yards in real like straight away. I was like, I'm not buying uppies for daytime. I'm not fucking wasting my money for night time. It's just got to happen, like it's just gotta So I tried everything Katie and and for me, I just got lucky and it worked right. My girls did the dream we at ten o'clock and then their bladders must be really

Remember if you needed.

To go to the toilet, like I can't tell you how many times I said it, If you need to get the toilet, tell me tell any h I'll help you.

He goes yep, yep, yep.

Anyway, and then I lost track of where he was for three seconds and he is in the bathroom, and I in my head go to like worst case scenario. I'm thinking shit on the wall because he closed the door. No, I don't need your help. And I was like, oh, yes you do, and like open the door, porkid and then opened the door and he was like he just did a We now at our house, we don't have steps, we don't have the small seat, we don't have like any of that stuff anymore. Yeah, And so I was like, oh,

Oh my god.

Not only did you remember and get the cue, you went to the toilet because I could see go on the toilet.

I'm so excited.

It's giving full sense of security vibe.

Oh fuck.

And anyway, day proceeds and everything was going swimmingly.

We'd had lunch. You know, when you start thinking about.

Their little you go like, there's a fair bit of food stacking up now. So anyway, Jay comes inside. Leo obviously just feels comfortable because Dad's here. All of a sudden, the little phantom. He just goes missing and then shits in his underwear.

I don't know why they do that.

This was after I'd also just praised him to the nth degree in front of him to his dad to go.

LEO, tell dad what you did. Like he went off and he went to the bathroom.

But yourself, you were so good, And he was like, I so good, Like he's so cute.

I definitely had that too. It was like wee's were quite easy, but then poos.

It's like for ages. It was doing it then and going off into corners.

Just disappeared. But I'm not even joking, just disappear.

Do you think it might be like traumatic for them to sit on a toilet and that to happen. Do you think it's easier for them to just be in their clothes?

You know, nice?

Warm?

No one knows about it.

I have no idea. I think he hasn't quite nailed the timing.

Yeah, but even this is going to be a weird analogy. But our cat.

When he goes onto the lither tray, he looks like he's ashamed because I don't want to be watched.

Yeah, I know, but isn't that funny?

Like maybe there's some kind of like correlation here because the cat's obviously embarrassed. He looks embarrassed. Don't watch me, watch me, So maybe it's that I know.

But then we fast forward and this is where I'm going to try and wrap it up for you, Katie, is I'm proceeding to walk my dog, which is where the other role of being a mum is like technically a mum to Rocco, and I'm walking the dogs, so buster.

Usually pull yourself mom to your dogs.

You know, I'm a mom to the dogs because I'll look after them.

I still feed the fuckers the same as my kids, and I walk them every day.

But do you say to the dogs like no, over, absolutely not.

I do not refer to my dogs as a mum and dog relationship.

Okay, mum and the suns.

Anyway, it's just wrong. But here's part of our family.

And so I'm walking him and I'm no where to a lie oblivious because he is the dog that I can literally have tucked into my shorts the lead and he won't go anywhere. He's just so blase a And then he I'm walking the dogs and everything's fun, and there this Ladys with me from behind. He goes, excuse me, and I turned around. I was like, yes, she's your dog is peeling on the footpath and I was like, thinking, how I haven't even stopped. I'll be walking and I turn around.

I was like really, and she was like yeah, I just watched him, and I was like in my head, I was like, you're lucky. I'm not going to throw it at you. She's like, you better pick it up.

Rocko, the phantom shitter has been shitting as we're walking.

That would be so hard to do. I don't understand how he does.

I'm not even joking Katie, like I didn't feel you know, you feel them stop if he's trying to like squat and dosh. So he's just been dropping nuggets all the way along this path. A lady is yelling at me it's six am, and I'm like, it's my responsibility.

I'm gonna turn around and pick this up.

Honestly, phantom shitters at the moment and just hanging out with me, I'm not keen with it. I don't want to pick up on my three and a half year old nephew's shits in his pants. I don't want to pick up my dog shit, which I do because people are so abusive.

What is going on?

Honestly, I don't know how he's just shits as you walk.

I've been in the situation where it's weird.

I don't know if it's a poodle thing, but he's like only on concrete kind of vibe.

Anyway, I was.

Walking across the pedestrian crossing, so cars stopped and I'm walking, and I'm you know, I get like fussy, like oh thank you, no thanks, thanks for stopping.

And then I'm like going, what the fuck?

And I turn around and I'm like literally skull dragging my dog while he's trying to take your ship on the pedestrian crossing. I was like, keep moving, these poor dogs getting dragged by its head, and everyone's.

Watching you in their cars.

They like probably more feeling sorry for the dog as I'm skull dragging and across the pedestrian crossing glasses trying to take like one.

Of those situations where your kid is pushing over other kids in the playground and it gets to the point where you pretend you don't see it.

It's street Walkerone seen them ship in the everyone saw.

We're probably recording it.

But then imagine it you then stopped to pick up up the pool on the road, and all the cars happened.

To wait for you to do it.

That was the thing.

I didn't know what to fucking do it.

I was like, if I'm getting abused by that, we'll imagine all the people in the cars.

This bitch is not picking up and a dog shit on the Nestro crossing.

What am I supposed to do?

I can't even get one of those bags out quick enough