Apodhake Production. Welcome back to another episode of Am I A Bad Mom?
Podcast?
Oh something happened the other day and I was like, oh my god, I'm causing my kids trauma. I know, we talk about that word all the time, like we've all got it, we're all causing it, We've all had it from our parents and all the rest of it. But we were having a go at Holly because she goes to bed really late. And I know she doesn't have school at the moment, but still I'm finding she will go to bed really really late, and then she's tired the next day, and then she sleeps in too
long and then she misses the day. Like It's like you go from one extreme to the other as parents, like you go from really really early rises, yes, kids waking up super early in the morning, and then putting them to bed early, and then it goes to the other extreme where they just want to be night hours. They want to be up until Honestly, if we let her, she would god knows what time she would go to bed. Anyway, We'll tell her her off. She's tired the next day,
what time did you go to bed? Like we woke up in the morning after we'd gone to bed and all of a sudden, you've got nail polish on, and.
She's been up all night.
She's been up doing stuff in her bedroom all night. And she then turns around and go, no, I did go to bed, And she's like arguing it because that's what teenagers do. Jay turned around and went, no, you didn't. I know that because we've got a camera in your room.
We don't.
Have a camera in her room. She turns around and goes, well, I've got a camera in your room. Jay, quick off the beat, goes, oh really, you don't want to see what happens in there.
No, Oh my gosh, I knew that he was going to say that.
She was absolutely disgusted. I was like, oh my god, why would you say that? Horrified?
Yeah, she's horrified.
Now she's like, oh my gosh, even having that thought remotely.
Crossed my mind. At that age, you're like, oh, that is just horrid. Yeah, oh my gosh, Jay, parenting I know.
And I take around today and when you wish that happened to.
Am I a bad mum for almost drowning my kids?
Oh my goodness.
It was actually a sibling sort of altercation between myself and my brother and we all go when we were all carrying on, it's all fun until someone takes it too far. Yeah, and you've always got that one sibling that's just going to push the little envelope a little bit too, like not too far.
Don't get me wrong. I was having a good go too.
But you forget when you're in such playful state, eat with your siblings, or you know, like in the swimming pool and everyone's having fun and you're like sun and all the rest. We hadn't even been drinking, so don't worry about that. And my brother's like after me, right, and he's just trying to literally drown me.
Yeah, that's funny. How you go back to being like ten again?
And I did. I had moments of flashbacks going.
I remember at the swimming pool when we as kids at ten, when my brother still tried to drown me, but it was much deeper.
Still to this day, my step brother and I as kids would do headstand competitions. Oh yeah, and every time we'd get together, it'd be like who does the best headstand for longer? And I like to think that I was always the winner. But to this day as adults we catch up. I go, how's your headstands? And I'll do one. So I'll just do one.
Because I want to show off.
I was like, don't even get me started. That's a complete side story, but you'd be impressed. There was a little bit of that happening Christmas Day night. There was a few parents trying to do headstands and it was a horrible, horrible steak.
To be in.
But yeah, my brother was just trying to drown me, literally grabbing my leg like you know when you're on one leg and you're hopping in the pool, you're trying to stay afloat, and he's just like literally getting one leg and just drowning me.
So then the kids seeing so watch it. It looks like his daughter my two and they're laughing.
They think we're all having the best of types.
Like genuinely, at one stage, I was like, bro, you have to stop because I'm actually drowning. And then all of a sudden I turn around and they're doing the same thing each other, trying to d yep there after each other.
They think it's a game.
Now we're all inclusive, and you're going, I'm not drowning you I'm not going to pick you up by one leg and put you under the water.
You're my child.
Like as much as I really you know, some days probably feel deep down that I'll definitely give it a good go. I was like, no, I'm not doing that, and they're like, come on, why you're not doing it?
Uncle Jay, just do that to you. And I was like, that does not mean it's okay. Like I don't want anyone to do it.
I'm in the swimming pool, like I haven't got time to move house right now, so just I'm not having anyone drowned in the swimming pool.
Please time to move.
House right now. First thought, if someone drowns in your pool, you.
Have to have your house. Can't live there anymore.
We had a birthday party once when the girls were about three. It was chaos, yah, a pool party. So they had all of these kids and I just said to the parents, please just watch your own kids, watch your own child, so that I know there's eyes on all of them. This little boy in the pool we had like the floaties and stuff out, he had got caught under the inflatable. This is quite traumatic because it was such a non event, like he wasn't thrashing around, splashing,
It wasn't this great big deal. It was just this really quiet and until one of the dads went in in his jeans into the pool and grabbed him. We were like, fuck, all the kids were just having fun. There was no drama anyway. It was so quiet the way he was just under it and couldn't get out.
So we did exactly the same thing, exact same situation one of them.
But I was like, Lisa, you didn't have to move house.
Else.
But yeah, I did exactly the same thing. One of the girls. It was their birthday party. Invited they wanted a pool party, and you think at the time, that's easy. Don't have to go and battle indoor play centers and all that stuff. So my whole thing was if you were bringing your child along, you just have to watch them. Yeah, if your child enters that water, you have to be
in the pool area and watching them. I'm not responsible for other people's children that can't swim or can swim or anything, because they might be the most comfortable, strongest swimmer, and if someone's sitting on that floating it just makes me so Yeah. I was always the same because we had a few near run ins like that where I was like, no, pool parties no longer exist at this and then stressful, Yeah, I know, but now they're bigger,
they just I do more stressful stupid things. And this takes me back to like, you know, almost wanting to drown them. It's like every time I turn around, they're just trying to do backflips.
And I was like, why are you doing that?
Stop doing that.
Don't do that. That's just stupid. You're going to take your face off, You're going to hit your head on side. I've got time to go to the hospital.
I don't know what you're doing tonight, but I'm not at the hospital, and.
I haven't got time to go to the hospital because I'm drowning my brother in the pool.
Or getting drowned by my brother in the rule.
And you shouldn't be watching because now you think you should do that to your other siblings. And then you know, Elsie comes in and that's that three seconds that you just stop watching or stop fussing or stop and then she comes in and she's like, mom, I've just and I looked at her and I was like how, And she's scun all there all the skin often nose on.
The bridge of the step. She was like, I don't know, I just wasn't watching. I said, it's stop doing the backflip.
Stop stop doing the backflips, but also stop watching me in the pool. Yeah, getting drowned by my brother.
Babe, I tried to.
This is so embarrassing, but I'm going to say it anyway. This is just absolutely going back on everything I've just said. But I was in the pool with my two it was just the three of us, and I could watch Elsie and she was trying to do backflips, and because I was there, I felt safe, so I was watching her. It wasn't anywhere that was of danger, and I was sort of going, you need to push out more from the side so that you're not even close to the edge.
You need to do this like little things in my head that I remember doing as a kid.
Katie. I'm giving them tips as to how to do it. So then I do, what do you think I do? You did it?
Back?
I reckon, I can do it. Oh my god. It was the biggest.
Like, the girls laughed so hard at me, and I genuinely pride an ego aside a little bit hurt was like tears cross. I thought in my head I still would look like I did when I was ten doing the backflips, but I just literally fucking fell on my back. It was so embarrassed backwards, like you watch me and like I would be able to do it and.
You can't get over.
My body doesn't do it. My body does not do that anymore.
I don't have the flexibility, not that I'm of flexibility cut, but I used to be able to do it.
Yeah, and this Katie wasn't even from the edge. This was inside the pool, which should mean that I should be able to do it, and it should be easier.
Because you're so much lighter. Yeah, water, what a dick?
Were you turning? Forty?
This how embarrassing happens. You can't do backflips anymore. I need to stop doing headstands. When I saw a photo of me doing a headstand, I was like, wow, you know how upside down because of gravity? Jeez, when your face drops like that, you look old. My goodness, I was so shocked with it upside down. Who ever thought that your face would look like that when you do a headstand upside down?
Me?
Aren't two percent in I like.
It's kind of those moments where you go, oh wow, in my head, I don't look like that I nailed that backflip. In my head, I actually look like I'm going to the Olympics for backflip, and I actually just landed on my back as flat as you can think of.
Anyway.
On that note, turning forty this year, I don't need to be better at my back flips.
I'm gonna says, only downhill from here my way.
We're only going to get better. What is it forty thirty?
Life begins at forty?
Life begins at forty. I do believe that, okay, And.
You know why it begins at forty because forty seems to be the age where you realize how fucked up you are and start dealing with your traumas that you never did in your twenties or thirties.
Babe, I've been dealing with themiss my late twenties bucket. What's another ten years, Let's do it.