Apo Shape Production. Welcome back to another episode of Am I A Bad Mum? Podcast? We constantly asked the same question over and over again. We never run out of content. It's funny because we've been doing this podcast for how many years?
Well, Elsie's now nine, and I think she was three and a half when we started. Remember, because when we first started, the way that we met was me being late to lunch. You asked me why. I was like, because, religiously, you're always on time and I'm always late.
Not in a like why are you low? No, like you're asking me like, what happened? What happened?
And I had nothing. I was just like, my kid was being an asshole and I'm late because of my child.
Yeah. Sorry, And I think you actually called her in our and I went, oh, that's funny. I've got this idea for podcasts. I think that'd be perfect.
I just had to find the right person that has the same similar mentality to me.
It's gonna be called am I a bad mummy? Okay with that? Yeah, I'm in.
I'm in.
Am I a bad mum? For wanting more me time?
Well, I have to say, Katie, tables have turned a little bit yeah, I was away a fair bit there for a while, like I was planning trips for myself and doing things and all the rest. And now I'm in the other way where I feel like I haven't gone anywhere for so long, and you've been taking trips minus children. Yeah.
Well, when we first met, and like we first became friends, you would say often about going away on your own or a girl's trip, even like going for dinner by yourself, just gag by yourself. Yeah, And for me it was like an alien concept, like we don't have any family here minor in the UK. My husband Jay's are in Perth, so we've never really had anyone to have the girls overnight or look after them, so we've always used babysitters. So we've never actually gone at that time, gone for
a night. No, And we'd never even really thought about it. It was like, if we're going away somewhere, or if we're going on a trip or a holiday or a weekend away, we take the kids. We took our kids on our honeymoon, mate, Yeah, I know, I min, I haven't had a honeymoon. Like I feel like, mate, you are honeying out for And I remember at the time you saying, because I always thought it was a bit of a selfish thing. I used to think, yeah, but what about the kids, like they need us kind of thing.
And I remember you saying about how good it is to be able to have your own time and also for the kids to have their own time, and then how much you miss each other and how much better it is when then you get back and reconnect.
Yeah, for both teams.
Now, over the last few years, taken a leaf out of your book when we have done those things.
Yeah, I love that.
Now on the weekend, this is the first time I've ever done this. We went to a health retreat. We went to Eden Retreat down in Curumbin Valley in the mid coast.
The battery pack recharges.
Honestly, rage, I have never had a better trip away than I did Eden Health Retreat. Like, don't even get me started on the staff and the service and the like. That's a whole other episode.
Now, can we mention your reservations to going Remember we just had this. You were thinking, oh my gosh, but I can't like three was it three or four nights? No wine, no sugar, no caffeine, Nope, you were starting to go like, should I try and like smuggle it in. I'm like, no, I know you're going to go all in. And then the second thing I was concerned about was there's no phone reception.
Rage. Yeah, it's in the valley. There's no Wi Fi, no phone reception, which gave me anxiety and the lead up because I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna have to, like all of us do it right. We grab our phone. There's an advert comes on on the TV. You grab your phone, have a little scroll. If I'm in line at the post office, I get my phone out and I'm checking emails and stuff. So for me it was like, oh my god, I'm going to be
lost without using my phone. It turned out to be the biggest plus of just being there, being present, looking around, enjoying nature, and not being able to check your phone, not even in the room. In your room, no phones. There's like one place down at reception where you can go and you can check if you really need to. So we did that once a day, but otherwise no text messages from the kids all day. Sorry, girls, I won't have any Wi Fi. I won't have a girl out. Yeah,
Like I could literally cry about how amazing. I found that weekend and how just good, you know, good food, fresh air, nature, everything healthy, can imagine, meditation, all the rest of it. We did the whole lot. But what I realized is that it was the first trip away. You know, when you go on holiday, like you go away and it's great and all the rest of it, but then you're looking forward to going home. And I'm such a homebody, we know, right. I loved COVID because
I loved just being at home. Cleaning covered, yeah, cleane cover is just being at home, like I could just be home, Like that's me. I didn't want to go home. I had been present for three days and all I had to do was think about myself. They don't even give you your itinery or what's on until the night before the day. They don't let you think too far ahead. So if on the Friday you want to know what you're doing on Sunday, you don't know yet because so yeah,
and we're planners, right with mummas. We plan, we know what we're doing. So for it to be taken out of my hands and go okay, I just have to think about what I'm doing right now. So good isn't it which is, you know, lastly, either walking in nature or laying under a blanket. It was amazing.
What do you think it is? Or was that made you not want to go home? Was it the quietness of your mind?
Yeah, because I'd been super stressed in the lead up, Like it couldn't have come at a more perfect time. And I think you don't realize how stressed you are or how much you need that until you know, either you get sick or something happens with your body or like and it's like, okay, you need to just stop. But yeah, I fully thought I would have even more time to worry about my worries or to stress about
my stress. Yeah, I couldn't check the bank to see if anyone had paid me, Like I couldn't, you know,
like that was all great. It was almost light. You're in your own little world and the outside world can't get you, you know, so nothing that you're normally worried about in your day to day life, even like, of course I missed my kids, like I love my kids despite what we talk about on this podcast, and of course I missed them and I was excited to see them, but I almost didn't want to go back out into the real world again. I was like, this is so nice. Yeah,
I'm thinking about is me? Yeah for three days? Yeah, because it's.
The quietness of your mind. Obviously the stress that you take on on a day to day basis in the role of a mum that you do play, Yeah, but it's also probably all the other practices that you did during the day. So your meditation, your yoga, your larti is your breath work. Then if you did any treatments that would have helped you know, it's all a part of the process.
And therapy, right, like I think it's good low health therapy pulled my eyes out.
That's great.
I went in thinking that there was nothing really I wanted to talk about. Clearly there was there was a lot, Ye see what I mean?
Though, there's how much we park all of that just to carry on with the day to day happenings of being a mum, you know, being a one, being a parent, being a driver everywhere you stress driving because you're going to get them to and from safely your work. On top of that, imagine a day where you don't have to think about like right now, you know what time you need to pick your girls?
Up right, You know where they need to be after school. You probably have an idea of what you're going to do for dinner tonight. You know that they're going to have homework and you're probably going to have to help. You know what time bedtime is, and what a wrangle that is of trying to get you know, all of those things. Imagine not having to do any of those for a day, and all you've got to think about is whether you as you where you want to go or how do you want to go for a walk?
Do you want to go for a message like That's all you got to think about. That's all the decision is. The only stresses are deciding on whether you should take your bathes down so you could have a swim in the pool.
I think also, though, when you're on holidays and you're not in let's just call it a bubble of Eden. Right, even when you're on holidays, you tend to come back, you look forward to coming home, but then you also come home feeling like you need another rest, whereas you have come off the back of the bubble of Eden, and then you're probably feeling recharged, You're feeling relaxed, you're
feeling like all of your internal systems have had a rest. Yeah, because you've eaten food without all the other stuff that comes with it. It's got no alcohol, no caffeine.
It's amazing thing. What you did amazing That first day back at work after I got back, I wore active wearing. I couldn't better wear proper clothes and honestly, rach as I drove out of Corumbu Valley and then I saw my phone get reception again, I cried.
I was like, I don't want to look at where, Yeah, because I don't want to take on real life.
Yeah, notification about taking the girls. I don't want to go to ice skating.
I think it's almost Katie though, how do you apply the feelings and the practices that you did have in Eden into your normal day to day life. Not saying you have to like flip your whole entire life, but like, how do you apply some of the practices yeah, to keep that and maintain that calmness within yourself.
Do you know One of the biggest takeaways, and this is for any mum, right, is when we say we don't have time. So I haven't meditated because I don't have time Oh, I haven't sat and just breathed on my own because I don't have time.
Same with journaling.
Yeah, we have to find time. We do have to be going to make it. And even like meditation right, which I thought, you know, meditation has to be in a place where you can lay down and all the rest of it where we know, bums, like, when are we ever in a place where we can just sit and lay down? Do it in your car? Yeah, do it in your car. In the school pickup line, I was like, not whilst driving.
No, we're not actually saying that, but yeah, exactly what I was going to say. Sit in your car, when you're sitting in your car waiting for the kids, put it on. Yeah two minutes. Yeah, start with two minutes and then get to ten. You'll feel a hell of a lot different.
Talk about what you're grateful for, write it down, write it down, journ all the shit out of it. You can be grateful for your kids and also think that they're being absolute assholes at the same time. Yeah, that's fine.
That's fine with us. That's what we do.
So my biggest takeaway is, mums, we need to do stuff for ourselves, and we also need to feel not guilty about it and go offline, go off grid. Yeah, how many times have you had a day out maybe you know races for example, right where you're not with your kids, but they're fucking texting you all day and
you have to get back to them. And then you get a phone call because they can't find their shoes and you know, yeah, yeah, I do know, and then they want uber eats for lunch because they don't like what you've left them.
Too bad or staff one or the other. So anyway, investment in self is what we're trying to say. Invest in yourself so that others also get the best version of you, because if you do not invest in yourself, yep, no one does it for you.
And spend the money on yourself. I heard something funny recently where it was like, think about how many like cute outfits that you buy your kids, or you know, the amount of money you spend on your kids and what they need, and it's like you need a new bra.
Just a bar, You need a new bra or a pair of nice knickers that might make you feel good.
Yeah, or go away, infest honestly, go away.
Then just talking about everything that you've just done over the weekend.
Yep, my weekend is absolutely not like that. I don't want to know about you. Let's let's just park at that. Let me stay in my mind full, peaceful self,