Apogae Production. Welcome back to another episode of am I A Bad Mom? Podcast? We asked the question three times a week. Am I a bad mom? Sometimes?
We are?
Sometimes we're not.
Sometimes could we weigh that up in like a percentage? Sometimes, like give me a percentage of your am I A bad mom? To am I A good mom? Kind of week that you've had.
Seventy thirty Yeah, seventy bad.
Ah, I was so in the positive then I was like, seventy good, erny bad.
I can see how that worked just quickly, just before we get to be even worse parents, because coming up to school holidays, just to let you know, we are taking a two week break off of am I A Bad Mom? Don't worry we'll be bad moms? Yeah.
No, the notes between the two of us that we share over am I A Bad Mum? It actually just launches into the next level of categories because it's school holidays. You're off though your holidaying like parenting. Last holidaying is like one of the best things ever.
Yes, and no one ever I did a holiday.
Yeah.
I mean we're spending a lot of money and we're going overseas and we'll be flying on an aeroplane. But we've got our kids with us.
Yeah, but the kids are still going to be on the other side of the world saying the same thing that they're bored.
Do you know what my kids are most excited about for this holiday? So we're going over to Hawaii, Hawaii. Yeah, and out of everything that we have got planned, so surf lessons, snorkeling, turtles, all that kind of stuffy snorkeling for turtles, they're most excited about going to the grocery shop so that they can dock up on the snacks that they see on TikTok.
Oh.
Wow, I could order that line. I could have saved myself thousands and just ordered that online.
Do you reckon? That was like a definitive choice part of your decision making of like going this is where we're going to go on holidays Hawaii. Why the kids love the snacks from TikTok? Absolutely not.
Why you can't afford those snacks? They're so expensive and then you're going to pay twenty percent bloody tipping. Am I a bad mum for drinking alcohol in front of my kids? I feel like this is a cot topic, especially with my kids. Do you know what I've come to the realization of is that kids are getting too much education on the dangers of alcohol. They're going to school and they're doing HPE and they're learning about alcohol and it's all bad. Obviously that's important.
It's all bad.
But it's all bad. So they literally look at us when we're having a glass of wine, like, which, you're the worst people in the world.
Yeah you are, yeah, because you're having a wine.
And I think they don't like the smell of it. I think that's one thing. And you know, I get that, like when your kids red wine smells disgusting. I understand that. Like I feel shamed. I feel shamed by that.
This is a safe space, Katie. You can open up about how you feel as a mom, how do you feel? But as a human being? How does it feel you shamed?
I'm getting shamed if I ever have a like and I kind of when I'm there with Jay, I'm like, okay, well it's half his problem too now because he's all the drinking wine. I have definitely been known to have a wine on my own and when my kids come down the bottles down the side of the lounce, it's like when remember they had that birthday sleepover, and everyone kept saying, Oh, what are you gonna do Saturday night? You're not gonna have a drink because you got other
people's kids there. And I was like, yeah, I probably shouldn't. And then someone said to me, just put your wine in a mug and pretend it's tea.
See, no one will even know. Do you start to get the red wine sort of grin going on, They won't have a clue what you're doing. Yeah, I think it's a shaming part. I think it's the part where you start to second guess what you're doing. Yeah, because that person, the small person, is questioning what you're doing in your behavior. Yeah.
Actually, just on that birthday party, do you remember what we ended up doing. I was like, we sat in the front garden. We didn't know where to go because there were kids everywhere, and they were downstairs and they were in the kitchen, and then they were sleeping downstairs. We sat in the front garden. We took two dining room tens ounds out on the grass, remember, and we were having a few wines and we were laughing at ourselves.
You know the situation of us being outside in the front garden with the cat because the cat is not an outdoor cat, and so the kids kept opening up the back doors and the cat would run out, and we were worried it would escape. So we had the cat. Picture of the scene, Jay and I dining room chairs in the front garden, mugs, wine and a mug, and the cow and the lead. Thank god, none of those parents came to pick their kids.
No, this is why it worked. But then if we rewind a few more years on a few of your holidays, remember like some of your holidays pre that where you and Jay would laugh because you would want to have a wine but you couldn't have a wine in the room that you were sharing with your children to sleep and they were going to So then you'd lock yourself in the bathroom and sit in the bathtub, yes not with water, bathtub with your sort of legs kicked over,
just having a wine in there because you're trying to let your kids sleep in a hotel room that you're sharing. Yeah, Or you'd sit in the hallway outside the door.
What are we doing?
Desperado times for wine? I tell you, thanke you do this.
This particular time, we ended up having a really big argument with the girls because they came down. It was an argument over and this is constant argument in my house over us telling them to bring their screens down at a certain time in the evening. So it's an hour later on the weekends, but on the weekdays it's nine o'clock. Bring your screens down, because I don't want them sitting upstairs scrolling the night away. Come down. They
go on charge downstairs, and then that's it. Like if you are not tired and you want to read a book, fine, you need to go back up there, and you're not taking any screens with you. So it was another one of these arguments. It's like this rule has been for years, and every night it's like it's the first time we've introduced the rule again. I'm like, no, it's just it's still we're still doing.
It Tuesday, today, still happening Monday.
Yeah, same same as yesterday, same as you know three years ago, and tomorrow will be the same. And so they've come down. We've started off this argument, no, none of our friends have to bring their screens. Oun blah blah, blah blah blah. It goes on and on and on, and then they look at us and they're so angry at the response of every night, just go away, off you go to bed. Holly turns around and she goes and look at you both just sitting there drinking your
lives away. I was like, excuse me. And then in that moment, because we do that in the moment, right if we don't do the ninety second rule where we sit and think about a proper adult thing that we can come back with, I snapped back with, I didn't drink before I had kids. We drink wine because of you.
I'm just telling you, she's nearly sixteen. It is a waiting game, my friend, because when the time will come, if it's six months, two years, the time will come where she will come home and she will be intoxicated, and you're going to sit there, what are you going to do? Drink your life away?
What are you going to do? You're gonna remember what she said, I'm going to do any sane adult, sane, stable adult would say, and I'm going to and I'm writing it in my notes so I don't forget. I'm going to turn around to her and go, look at you just drinking your life away.
I'm telling you one hundred percent. But if it makes you feel better. I got shamed on the weekend by my child too, and she's only nine. At least yours is like closer age of the waiting game. Mine is nine. She was fully shaming me. I'd had probably three champagnes and we were at a birthday celebration. I wasn't the rightiest one there. It was his seventieth birthday.
What was interesting, though, because last time he told me that story, it was too champagne. Now it's three. Now we literally like two or three maybe four.
No, I wasn't intoxicated and the sun was still up, so it's fine. I can't say much about nine pm because I was like the life of the party. But she was just looking at me. She goes, oh, I can smell it, and she was just disgusted. And I looked at her and I said, I'm absolutely fine. I am good, Thank you, nine year old child.
I wonder where it comes from like that, because I've heard it a lot from other friends as well, about their kids hating when they have a drink, and I think the smell probably is one thing. Do you know what comes into mind when I think about why my kids might hate alcohol? Remember the time that we had a barbecue, we had friends over. It was kind of afternoon drinks. There's quite a lot of bottles of wine being opened and finished. And when we were eating dinner,
Holly's tooth came out. Maybe she lost her truth tooth. We'd got to the point in the evening where I was like, oh goodness, like we need to not forget this. I said, make sure you put your tooth under your pillow so the tooth fairy can come in the morning. Honestly, Rachel, I woke up that next morning, I can hear her running down the hallway and I went, oh my god, Oh my god, to fairy did she come. Ollie comes into the room and she goes, Mom, she didn't, tooth
fairy calm she said, yeah she did. She left two dollars and a no, but she forgot to take the tooth. It was like, oh, she's got one job at tooth Fairies. You got one job, one job.
You're lucky that she left.
You're lucky she came because it was a windy old night last night. Lucky she came.