This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2370, English vocabulary to leave your worries at the door. Welcome to the All Ears English podcast downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on... Connection, not perfection with your American hosts, Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl and Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz coming to you from Arizona and New York city. You.
And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com forward slash subscribe. Is it easy for you to leave negative feelings or thoughts at the door? Today, Aubrey and Michelle will talk about ways to say you aren't bringing baggage with you. Listen in today.
Hello, Michelle. How are you? I'm good, Aubrey. Nice to see you. Happy to record with you today. How are you? I know. Great. This is so fun. I have a question. What color is your door, like the front door of your house? Oh, my door is a bluish purple. I believe you would call it periwinkle. Oh, that is very fun. And one of the most fun names for a color, periwinkle. I love that. Periwinkle. It's like a light, is it blue? Is it light blue? Is it light purple? I don't know. It's periwinkle.
And that was my risky decision of, oh, okay, I want a fun door color. This is a little out there. Oh, so you painted it that color. It wasn't that color when you bought the home. I love that. Yeah. My door is very boring. It's like. really dark brown, almost black. But recently, we had kind of a mishap because it is sort of sun faded, it faces the sun. And so we tried to
fix it, but it was stained originally. So we were trying to restain over it a few leaves was not working. So finally, we're really like, we're just gonna have to paint it. But I think we have to sand it down first. i wouldn't even know where to start with that um but that's that's fun so today we are going to talk about an expression using the word door that is really useful and fun this expression is to leave something at the door
What do you think about this one, Aubrey? You know, I've thought about this a few times when we start recording podcasts because to leave something at the door means you have to forget it, you know, sort of close that door and start something else. And sometimes I'll be having a bad day, something bad is happening. And I really have to leave that at the door in order to be positive and energetic here.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Because on the podcast, we're not going to share all of my woes and problems with you guys. I mean, sometimes the issues with the kids or something come out, but I try to leave it at the door. Exactly. Exactly. So Aubrey, this is actually came up on an episode of the business English podcast that I recorded with Lindsay. It was from episode 378, which I actually think was probably just.
yesterday i think so um guys check out the business english podcast this episode was called how to catch attention when you introduce a change in english and in this episode we said leave your preconceptions at the door. This is, you know, we realized that it's very powerful to say, leave something at the door. So we decided to take a full episode to discuss this, but I wanted to bring it back over here to All Ears English.
yeah i'm excited this is a great expression we use it and hear it a lot and this is really powerful to say leave something at the door this is really If you're admitting you need to leave something at the door, you are being vulnerable. You're admitting that not everything is perfect because the really happy, positive, fun things, you wouldn't need to leave them at the door.
true yeah that's a really good point i mean but are we talking about literally leaving literally leaving something at the door Good question. No, this is idiomatic. You could say if a package is being delivered, oh, leave that at the door. There is this literal use, but we use this actually more often idiomatically. to say, forget something, to put pause on something, to put something on pause.
Yes, exactly. So to leave something at the door. So to start with the door. So this is, again, about when you begin something, when you enter some place or situation. So that's the idea of why we use the door for it. So you're entering. a room, you're entering a situation, a place, whatever it is, and you have to you have the door, but you are going in the door and you're leaving something there. So the something is whatever you're holding on to. So like Aubrey. Aubrey said,
some sort of thing that's going on in your life. Maybe you're holding onto a grudge with someone or an opinion or even a bias or some drama, negative feelings, whatever it is. But like Aubrey said, it's not, you're not leaving positive. things at the door. Exactly. It's interesting how often we use doors metaphorically in English, right? We have the expression when one door closes, another one opens. It's never like literal doors, like it's metaphorical.
feeling of just a space opening in your mind or in your heart maybe, right? It's a lot more about feelings. Right, exactly. So to come in with that new mindset, which we did touch on on that Business English episode. So definitely be sure to listen to that because it really does connect to today's episode. So head on over to the Business English podcast after this and make sure you hit follow. there as well as on this podcast um so let's do some examples aubrey you want to do the first one
Yeah, I know you're totally exhausted, but try to leave it all at the door now and just enjoy the night. I could totally see myself saying this to my partner or him saying it to me, right? If you know someone's not in a great headspace, they're tired. say, okay, leave it at the door so we can still have fun tonight.
Right. Especially with having kids. You know, you want a parent to come in. Yeah, things. It's hard. It's hard to be an adult and have things go on at work, maybe that are difficult. But, you know, to always try and come in and not.
not bring it into the space with your kids at night right exactly right or otherwise that's really um exhausting especially exhausting if it carries through not only all day but then into the night at some point you've got to leave it at the door exactly exactly um so here's another one leave all your self-doubt at the door it's time to get our bodies moving so i'm imagining go you go into an exercise class and it's a tough one
And maybe they're trying to get everybody motivated, the instructor. And they said, leave yourself down at the door. Right. I could see Cody saying this. Michelle and I are both fans of Cody Rigsby. A little shout out to a Peloton instructor who's so funny. I love, I will not do a class from anybody else anymore. I think it's just, I always go to Cody.
That's so funny. I dabble. I try to do some of the other ones, but it's never the same. It's true every time. He does that, right? He'll motivate you, leave it all at the door and enjoy this class. Yes. I, I, yeah, I love him. He is so funny. Okay. Or, um, so here's another example. Uh, this could be maybe in a yoga class. Breathe in, leave your stress at the door. This is your time to relax.
Yes, right. So you're managing, leave your stress at the door. When you entered the yoga studio, you're unpacking your stress and leaving it out in the hall. Yes, exactly. Or what's another example? One more. You could say I told him to leave his emotions at the door. I know it's hard, but we have to show strength.
So yeah, this is tricky when it comes to emotion. Sometimes we're encouraged, like, yes, show emotion, share emotion. And sometimes it's not the right time. You have to leave it at the door. That's true. I mean, Aubrey, do you have any tips or tricks of how to leave negative feelings at the door? Do you do anything to when you come into a new space or when you start recording or anything like that? How do you how do you do that?
I think that I have been able to develop a lot of cognitive dissonance in my life, having grown up in the family with the religion that I did, that I was able to develop that a lot. Now I do feel like this is a skill that I can really just sort of shut it off, leave it at the door and enjoy the time that I'm at, regardless of what is happening. So that's one perk.
for um some things that i you know struggled with as a youth interesting well so it makes you it gives you a strong backbone for for your current life yeah Yeah. And just that ability to, because some people are really affected. Let's say you go to a job interview and it's not a good day. Maybe you got pulled over or in a wreck on the way to the job interview. And I do think a lot of people would have a hard time leaving those emotions.
at the door and still performing at a hundred percent. Understandably. Right. And I do feel like this is sort of a skill that I could just shut that off. It's gone. Like it never happened. And I'm performing. That's good. That's very impressive, Aubrey. I think so too.
Okay, so let's talk about some other ways we might express this feeling. So the first one is to check it out the door. So same idea, leave something at the door, to check something at the door. So check your attitude at the door. We all need to get along. Yeah, this is a little more harsh, probably, because we wouldn't say it to ourselves as much. I need to check my attitude at the door. You're probably saying it to someone else. It's a little bit critical, right?
True. Very good point. That is the difference. That one is more critical than just, oh, leave it at the door, right? That one's a little bit smoother, just a little more peaceful. This one, it sounds like you're being scolded maybe. Right. implying that they usually don't they're usually bringing an attitude in this time you need to check your attitude at the door yes exactly or what's another one aubrey you let something go so before we get started let's all try to let go of the grudge
we might be holding after yesterday's argument. I can't help but think about Frozen, the song Let It Go. That's the whole point of that whole song. Every mom of daughters has seen this and maybe sons too. But yeah, this is a really common, popular one. Just let it go. It's like try to forget it and not let it affect you.
Exactly. Yes. I do have a two-year-old now who likes to sing. Or just leave it behind. Just leave something behind. So you could say, leave your negativity behind. We are here to have a good time. Yes, those are all great. And what an amazing connection skill. If you're meeting someone for the first time or, you know, meeting with a friend you haven't seen in a while and you're not having the best day.
you're probably going to want to leave behind any negativity or frustration because otherwise it would be really difficult to connect with that person. Right. Yeah. You have to be present. Right. That's what this is. That's what this is ultimately about being present, being able to just focus on where you are in the moment and not let the rest bother you. So, I mean, I know for Lindsay, I know. yoga and meditation, things like that. For me, I do like reading helps me or taking a walk or
watching a funny show helps me a lot. Any other things that help you? Yeah, sports for me, for sure. If I go play volleyball or pickleball, that it's like you don't have time or the brain space to think about anything else. So it really kind of helps clear your head, I think.
i and lindsay and i actually we always say podcasting too because you we can only think about what we're doing now and it's a fun talk it's a great time right we're having we're focused on teaching and connecting on all of that so you have to like like aubrey said before leave things at the door yeah absolutely i have a feeling this will be our spotify poll today we want to know what it is for you guys like
you know, what are these strategies that you use to leave something at the door? And I feel like this is just such a good skill to if you haven't practiced in advance, it would be difficult. And sometimes it's just necessary. Check everything at the door, leave it at the door. that you can perform or connect exactly so let's do a role play we're not going to use all of these because it would be too much um but here we are friends and i am coming to meet you after i just quit my job oh gosh
Oh, no, I'll start us. Wow. So how are you? I can't believe that happened. I'm honestly trying to leave it all at the door. I just want to enjoy this hangout. Okay, I get it. You want to just let it go. Definitely I'm just ready to leave it behind.
Oh, this is so good. We can go through this, but I think this is so wise to be able to be open about this is even better than what I was saying. Just like shut it off and forget it didn't happen. If you can share with a friend, like things aren't perfect, but I'm going to leave it. the door like name it and then say you're going to leave it at the door is even better
Right, right, right. Exactly. So let's go through it. So let's see. I said, I'm honestly trying to leave it all at the door. I just want to enjoy this hangout. So I'm saying I'm not.
i don't really want to spend time talking about this because it doesn't make me feel good i'm saying i want to spend time with you aubrey i don't want to spend time talking about this and that's fine right and that is fine right and then um i responded i get it you just want to let it go this is such a good connection skill if someone doesn't want to go you know hash out all the details this is what you want to say like totally get it you want to leave it at the door
Exactly. And then I said, definitely, I'm just ready to leave it behind. So leave those negative feelings behind. I don't want to talk about that today. So it might just be too fresh, right? Maybe you'll talk about it at another time. Yeah, true. Maybe. Yes.
Sometimes things are just too fresh. It's not going to, maybe I know it's going to make me cry or feel some intense emotions and I'm not ready. I'm not in a good state to discuss it right now. Totally. Exactly. Exactly. So Aubrey, what would you say the takeaway is for today?
Yeah, I think there are a few things. I think this is such a good connection skill to have these phrases and be ready to show understanding and vulnerability, to admit if you need to leave something behind, leave it at the door, to recognize when a friend doesn't want to go. into details. What great connection skills. Yeah, absolutely. Well, thanks so much for
hanging out with me today, Aubrey, and just being able to leave everything at the door and podcast with you is great for my mental well-being. Same. I agree. Thank you, Michelle. This was really fun. I will see you next time. See you soon. Bye. aubrey bye Thanks for listening to All Ears English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two-minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com forward slash fluency score. And if you believe in connection, not perfection.
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