¶ Casual Chat and Updates
Hey , rick , how you doing . Hey , Carm , I'm good . How are you ? Hey , everyone , welcome to All About the Joy . We hope Cynthia is going to be able to make it . Yeah , so I'm not going to say what's going on with Cynthia , but I really want her to come on and tell us , because then I'll feel better .
She's fine , she's absolutely fine , but she's just racing home to see if she can get online quickly . So , rick , how was your week ?
It was pretty good . Work wasn't too bad , so that's good . One order I was stressing about , an expensive one , finally came through and everything worked out .
No , wait what I missed something , because I was not . I don't multitask and I was trying to put your volume up . Say that again .
Oh , something at work . It was a big , a big ticket item stuff . I guess that was ordered and it was stressing me out because they were like we need it by the end of the month or we're not going to want it . So I literally got there on the last day of the month , on Monday .
I was like wow , oh , so it got there . Hey , melanie Cynthia's on right now . I'm just letting her get her camera fixed so that she looks beautiful and everything . But I see her fix so that she looks beautiful and everything . But I see her . I see her in the green room . Give me a thing like this when you're ready to come on cynthia . Okay , she's ready .
I don't want to do you wrong like that . How you doing , cynthia ? Oh we're good , hey look . I want to call you because Melanie can't hear you , so I guess it is also up there . You're going to have to tell everyone what's going on , because I just made it all dramatic after saying but she's fine , hold on .
Let me show you real quick .
Love me .
Oh , xavier , the song . Xavier broke his leg . Oh , xavier , my house Xavier broke his leg , oh my God .
He broke his ankle . It has rods in it right now In it In his legs . Yeah , so there's rods sticking out .
And he's having major surgery . Why are the rods sticking out ? Why are the rods sticking ?
out . It's pre-surgery because he had so much swelling . So they're going gonna do the surgery on monday and the rods are there to support everything and align his ankle and everything but he still looks so cute .
And the pictures in the back seat . You know , I love me my xavier . He's so cute , but he how did we break our leg ? What happened ?
we fell down the stairs . Okay , yeah , sorry , I'm just letting my charger here Are you feeling comfortable right now .
I told you you don't have to come on . I was like I'll walk in with Rick , you know , even though I don't want to do this with Rick by myself .
Fun fact , I have metal rods in my back too .
In your back . Is it all about you ? I have a rod in my hip .
Okay , cynthia , you have any rods ?
No rods .
Why is it all about you ? I just had to do that to you .
I just wanted to feel a part .
A part of having an injury . Yeah , you're so crazy . I was telling Rick earlier that I was hoping that you would come on quicker , right , because that's why I text you yeah , because I was like we'll go on early so we could do a little recap of 9-1-1 , and I wanted to give you some insight as to what happened .
I know rick has not watched the show , even though we've tried to implore him to do it .
I only watched the first episode . I haven't watched today's episode Because it's coming on .
Oh , yours already aired , mine hasn't aired yet . It comes on at nine o'clock , so it's on right now . Oh For you . Yeah , yeah , yeah . Okay , I haven't watched the second episode either , but let me just say this I'm totally like not loving the bees , but yeah right , it was kind of campy , weird , okay . So we'll wait to see the second episode .
But the reason why I wanted to bring this up is I reached out to the los angeles fire department . Okay , for those of you who don't know , the show 9-1-1 actually is about .
Fire .
Station 118 here in Los Angeles . It's not about them exactly , but it is actually a fire station here in Los Angeles .
So I had bought myself a t-shirt from the LAFD and I bought one for Cynthia , one for Wong and I sent some as a gift or whatever Because I wanted to support the Los Angeles Fire Department and I sent some as a gift or whatever because I wanted to support the Los Angeles Fire Department .
But here's the thing they have unisex size , which I can't stand because it's really men's . That's what it's men's . And then we just have to fit into it and it just anyways . I cut up my shirt , my t-shirt , and it's now ruined completely because it does not . I have a body people , okay . I got boobs and a waist and I like my shit to work , okay .
So I emailed the lafd . I was like hi , my name is carmen . They responded in their next meeting they're going to talk about having women's sizes on their website . And and I said to them how do you not know that this show has been on since 2018 ? They had no idea what . Somebody must know .
But the people who handle the nonprofit that handles all their clothing . I'm like you guys could have been making so much money . I was on Reddit and Reddit doesn't know where to get clothing from the show what I'm like . Are you people crazy ?
Because I would have definitely missed an opportunity there .
That's what I mean I needed to . You know , I needed to fit all the parts correctly , okay , Women have curves , okay , hello . No , I don't . Women's fits differently than men's , wouldn't you agree , cynthia ? Like men's is a boxy shirt and it just and there are women firefighters . It's just also lazy . It's just . Don't call it unisex .
Just say we only have men's sizes , because unisex is just men's sizes , that's all it is . Yeah , that's very true . I have never bought a unisex shirt that fit me well , never , not once . But anyway , I thought that was funny and they went back and forth with me . Whoever it was , I forget what her name was .
I want to say Kathy , she was on her iPhone and I said I'm so sorry to bother you on a Saturday morning and she's like no , this is good , we have our meetings on Monday and I was like , if you could let them know , it's so good , I'll send you all the emails because it was hilarious , oh my god . Anyways , I just wanted to mention that .
So , yeah , okay , whatever , okay . So I sent you guys some information of what I wanted to talk about . Let me just throw on the you know what . First , let's talk about last week's show , which , by the way , highest rated show ever . Let's go like a day later . The numbers were I think it was his people , but I don't care . Shout out to our people too .
We love you , and LinkedIn is off the hook . I just love you people .
It's so cool that was a really good show . I wasn't on it , but I watched it and I was so interested I was invested . Like you saw , I was commenting on everything I was in there .
You were Netflix before Netflix was .
Yeah , that was a good clip . I put that clip up or whatever . Yeah , so he was a cool guy .
Yeah , he was a cool guy . Yeah , he was very easy to talk to , easy to understand all the technology and everything that he was saying , like it was awesome .
Yeah , yeah , we'll have him back on the show . He's doing the rounds . They're really excited . I emailed them and everything and we'll put up more of their clips of their show and try to help promote them . I thought it was a really easy interview , but it was also fun and connected to us in a way . Do you know what I mean ?
I want more people to be part of the show that are connected to us in one way , shape or form . It doesn't have to be about movies and Hollywood . But what is all that noise ? Is that feedback on my end ?
No it's feedback on my end . Oh , the way she just looked at Xavier . It my end . Oh , all right . Oh the way she just looked at him .
Oh , it's wine okay , anyways , it's all good . So , yeah , I just wanted to talk about that and , rick , thank you for being on that show and said you think we're supporting everybody else who chimed in and also liked everything that we did . It was just just really fun , and I want to do more interviews , but it does take a lot of work , as Rick knows .
We had to do a lot of research and we have to , you know , and have all the right questions and whatever . And also , I didn't even prep him , so he was an anomaly , because usually you want to meet people before you put them on the show . But he was fantastic . Yeah , maybe that's a trick .
You don't want , no , no , no , because it'll work against us next time . It'll be so good . We don't want to show us something , but he was great . So , okay , great . Let me just say I do have one . Oh , I have one news item to let everyone know about .
I don't know how many of you do shorts , rick , I think you do shorts on YouTube , right , you post up .
Starting October 15th , shorts will now be up to three minutes , which is great , because all my shorts are over a minute , so they're never viewed by anybody because YouTube does not push them out if they're over a minute , so they can only be under a minute , but as of October 15th , you can go up to three minutes and they'll push your videos out .
It does not include all the past YouTube shorts you've done , so all of those that I've put up are never going to get , but , anyways , just wanted to let everyone know about that for those of you who are using shorts Cynthia , you don't do shorts , right , it's TikTok , but YouTube , no , yeah , okay , cool , all right .
Don't do shorts , right , it's tiktok , but youtube , no , yeah , okay , cool , all right . So I'm going to , I'm going to show this tiktoker whose name is brit ashley , I think . Wait , let me just see .
I think I'm messing up his name already I'm gonna hear a funny story really quick for you no , because it's never a funny .
See . The thing is , where's the trick ? Never a funny story . Am I lying ? Never a funny See , where's the trick ? Never a funny story , am I lying ? Never a funny story when Rick says that , okay , wait , I'm going to do this quick , you're going to be so impressed . Okay , rick is like what a bitch , although he would never .
I know , baby , I know you would never . Ever , let me see .
What are some of the common misconceptions ? Okay , wait . What are some of the common misconceptions .
Okay , wait , here we go . Can you guys see it .
Yeah , all right . What are some of the common misconceptions that British people have about Americans and just America as a whole ? The first one is we think that all Americans live in massive houses . And you know what , when I think about why do we think this and why did I think this until I came here , I would say the movies are the reason for that .
We watch things like I don't know , home Alone American Pie Planes , trains and Automobiles any you name it , any of them and they always have big houses all the time . You can't blame us for thinking so . And as well , because America's so big , especially compared to the UK , you've got much more land to to work with . So we just I don't know we would .
It seems logical when we see it in the movies that we think , yeah , that's probably the way it is , but it isn't . We think americans are rich because you all live in massive houses .
As far as we're concerned , again I think the movies are guilty of making us think this way because , again , if all we know is what we see on tv and in the movies , and it is just the big houses all the time , like mansion style houses , almost are you froze what it froze .
No , you , but you're screaming
¶ Tech Troubles and Cultural Misconceptions
. And it's so funny because now in the whole podcast I'm just going to be this . Can you not see it ?
It froze on my end .
Are you using your ?
1987 phone .
Okay .
You're going to have to just listen , but can you hear him ?
Oh , no Are you serious . And look how Cynthia's screen is like this instead of like this now , because she has a phone from 1924 .
I don't know what to say , Okay , I'm just going to play the rest of it because oh , but Cynthia , how are you going to engage ?
in the conversation .
Somebody needs a new phone . I told you I would buy it for you . Oh my God . Okay , wait , that was such a good video . I don't know what happened . Cynthia , it's your phone .
You didn't see or hear none of it .
You didn't hear , not one word of it .
I heard , like the first little bit and then it just stopped . No , it was fine . I stopped it because you kept talking and I was like , okay , that's all right . Why ?
Because for her it froze . So she's like did it for you . She's like fine .
I'm like it's going to be , it doesn't matter now , okay , wait , I don't know what to do now , because you're not going to be able to be part of the conversation . Do you want to try it again ? That's okay , the way you said it . Did you not try to use the new laptop I sent you ?
I didn't try the , I didn't try the camera . Oh my God , I sent you a laptop and you didn't try the camera .
Oh my God , I sent you a laptop and you didn't even try it . No , I haven't tried the camera yet . Yeah , I don't know how the camera's going to work , but it'd probably work better than your 1942 cell phone . Notice how the year changes every time .
But she's freezing a lot too , so it could be her internet .
Yeah , she's freezing a lot too . It's her phone . I am 100% sure that it is her phone . Anyways , okay , so I'm not going to play the whole thing , because now I'm going to have to .
Anyway , he talks about , he's British and he's living in Arizona and his name is Ashley and he does all these great videos about what he loves or what is different or whatever about the United States , and it's this really cool video and he talks about .
Like you know , europeans always think that Americans are not very well-traveled at all , and the fact is that in Europe , people don't understand how massive the United States is . So you can be in your state of California or Texas and you can drive six hours and still be in Texas or still be in California .
Or you can drive three hours and go from one state to the other state and still be in the United States . But in Europe , if you travel from one place , you can go two hours and you'll be in France or you'll be in Germany . So it's much smaller .
And so what he was saying is this thing he was saying these misconceptions that we have , or that they have about Americans , and all of his videos are about that . And it's really funny and it's really interesting because you start . Usually I hear negative things about people who basically hate us . Some of it is jealousy , some of it is fair .
You know what I mean , because we think we're the best country in the world , and sorry to tell y'all we're not , but we're not . We're not the best country in the world , and sorry to tell y'all we're not , but we're not . We're not the best country in the world . Unless you've been to every other country in the world , you really can't make that statement .
You know what I mean , because in a lot of ways we're lacking and this isn't about politics , this is just factual . You know what I mean , like in certain things , like in education and in health , in so many different ways , in happiness . There are all these different studies that are done .
So I just think it's interesting to hear people from other countries talk about what they see as different as we . Being from the United States , I just thought it was an interesting thing , but it's not as much fun when I am saying it . That's why I was having a video on .
Yeah , for a lot of them they do . I think we would be surprised how much american tv they watch and movies and everything like so much is from here . As soon as he said big houses , I start thinking cosby show um fresh prince of belgium . They think that's normal , no Right .
Yeah , he said some other things too . I don't remember them all Because it's a four minute TikTok , but he does a lot of them . But he was also talking about how there's another video that he talks about different words that we use that he doesn't know , and that some of the words that we use mean very different things in other countries .
So it's a fascinating , fascinating TikToker . I follow him . His name is British Ashley . I think he just changed his name to because somebody tried to copy his thing or whatever . So , anyways , cynthia , we're going to have to do something about your I'm not kidding though I do I need you . I'm going to .
I'll buy you a new phone I don't even know how else to say that because I want you to be part of the show , but I can't . And I do think it's your phone . You have the weirdest issues . You're like I don't enjoy , I cannot see joy .
So can I just buy you a phone ? I don't want you to waste money , I'm not .
But it's not a waste . It's not a waste . Because this is a waste , I have a whole thing to talk about .
Even Carmen Ajita .
I know , and we cannot talk about it now because I didn't play it . You know what I mean .
I remember I saw a video of a British guy and he goes I'm going to find the deepest South Southern accents I could find in America and play back the video in front of you guys and give you my reactions . And he's just like what did he say ? I can't understand a word . He said , it's so funny .
There's another video of him and someone told him to try a peanut butter and jelly sandwich . So he makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and he doesn't do it right , like he puts on the peanut butter like it's butter , like just a little , and then he puts all this jam on it and everyone knows .
So he does like four videos trying to make a peanut butter and jelly and every time he eats them it's just the peanut butter and jelly . He's not impressed . Every time he eats them it's just a bit of jelly he's not impressed , but I think he's also good .
He gets sarcastic because one of the videos he puts like a glob of just a little bit of jelly . The church fan is broken .
The members will not be attending . It's so funny , it's great . Listen , I think it's good to start again . It's always all about the joy . I'm always looking for people who are uplifting and not putting down . I think some of the things I hate is when I see people from other countries putting down the United States .
Right , it's so easy to do that , and I'm not saying that some of it isn't justified . But again , it's about all this hate . What do you want to do with all that energy ? How does that change anything ? So , cynthia , I'm not trying to embarrass you .
I know you can afford your own phone , but I know you don't want to get a new phone because you don't want to deal with the newness of it . But can I just tell you from my heart I've told you this before , but now also for the show I think you should get a new phone . Yeah , I know I do have to get a new one .
Yeah , I just think it's time and I think this is evident . So I'm just going to let me just throw all this away . You can still go over that . It's not like I have a video . I do want to talk about this . But , rick , tell us your funny story .
I was going to say first of all , if you're that attached to your phone , then just use a new one for the broadcast and stick with your old piece of crap . I mean with your old phone , old phone .
I tried to give her my old phone , which is basically a much newer phone , but she didn't want that . But I think now you're feeling the pain , you're feeling bad . Now I can tell , because she's doing this . She's like trying not to smile . She don't want to say yeah . She's like trying not to smile .
She don't want to say yeah , she right , carmen , no one ever likes to say that it's so funny . Because I don't let them live it down . That's why , because I will hold on to it for emma . That's not true . Why are you doing that ? It's not true . I'm just letting you know . Okay , I'm gonna switch to my plan b subject , because I did have a plan b .
Just I wanted to talk about this . So I was reading on aarp , who is no longer going to be our sponsor . After I talk about this .
¶ Makeup Misconceptions and Aging Beauty
Oh , I saw an article pop up the other day . I was like what ?
Oh , what was the article that popped up for you ?
Senior citizen and masturbation . No , I don't want to read about that . Go away .
Okay , let me tell you something . You can go on the website and pick what things you want to see .
There was a pop-up , I was like , no , we don't need to read about that Okay , but you can say you don't want to .
Senior citizens have masturbation . Na na na , na , na , na na na na na na . Everyone has needs , rick . Just because you're old doesn't mean you ain't got them . Did you read the article ?
I just looked at it to see if it was real , I was like no , no , I didn't read every word , no , Look , there are some articles that are for you and some that are not for you , but it doesn't matter .
Look , I read an article today . I got so angry and upset I went to comment , which I've never commented before , but I'm so sick of this subject so I went to comment and they would not put my comment . Shut up , mario .
Shut up , Mario Love you . Okay , here's what it is . I am Love you .
Okay , here's what it is the seven common makeup mistakes women over 50 make . It's by Kelly James . I'm going to say it . She wrote a whole article about things that you shouldn't do . Over Each one of them , I'm like bitch , I'm doing it tomorrow . Don't wear red lipstick . Are you fucking kidding me ? Do whatever you want , she's saying .
Wear a different shade because it makes you . What she should say is if you have pale white skin , maybe you shouldn't wear red lipstick . Right , that's not what she's saying , but you shouldn't . I think you should wear whatever you want . But she was right . In all this stuff , you need to use a primer . What , like ?
No one is going out there with Pacing a wall .
It's a . What is going on ?
It's the same concept because supposedly you have to make your pores certain ways . It evens everything out . It evens everything out and then you put on your foundation . You know what ? I'm sick of Telling women what to do with their makeup , with their face , or telling them that they have to wear makeup or whatever they want . One .
There's one in here that said oh yeah , she wrote failing to use a primer like that's a bad thing , like primer , whatever , okay , wait . The other one was oh , wearing black liquid eyeliner . Okay , let me just say this I have never in all my life worn black liquid eyeliner because I can't do it .
All I wanted to do was get like cheap red lipstick and like liquid eyeliner and do the cat thing . I was so pissed at this thing and she said they look like 70s disco people when you do that . She wrote that shit in here . How old is this woman ? Her name ? Let me say it again .
Let me say it again kelly james . Kelly james , because I know what's on my name kelly k james .
Is she like 80 or 90 years old ? I don't know . She's been writing for them for a while though . I was trying to find her bio and because I was like I wrote kind of a quirky funny , not mean . I was like can we here's ? I wrote .
I wrote something to the effect of can we get to a place where we stop telling women what they can and can't do over at any age ? If women want to wear red lipstick , let them wear red lipstick . You know what I mean . And I said I right now I'm going to go out and do my best 70s and get me some black eyeliner liquid or whatever .
I was like a little bit funny and I went back a couple of times to look and it wasn't on there like they did . But they let other people's comments come on Austin .
I'm like .
Oh , you see what they did . I see what you did there . So I'm like I'm all over it now . I just think it's weird Like you have the one extreme on Tik TOK , where they're , you know , 18 year olds and 22 year olds wearing 17 layers of makeup .
Like Let me just tell you what I do every day when I go up for my everyday makeup , and it's like a 10-minute long TikTok and they're like I look caked on All the contouring . I never even knew what the fuck contouring was until I got on TikTok .
I remember a Spanish lady saying listen , ladies , if you look like a palazo , you're doing too much . Palazo means clown for the English .
Some of them they do the makeup so beautifully , but I've never had that much makeup on unless I was on stage , and even then it's less than what some of the TikTokers do . So it's either that extreme or the other extreme , where now you're telling people who are putting oh , she said something about not using I don't know .
She said something about wearing too much loud blue or green . I'm like you , do you ? Oh , my God , you want to wear green eyeshadow ? Go ahead , girl , do your thing Tomorrow . Red lipstick , green eyeshadow Liquid . I'm going to have a liquid out . Girl , do your thing Tomorrow . Red lipstick , green eyes liquid .
I'm going to have liquid out to here with the cat eyes and I'm going to put on the big flashy .
You all look like Tammy Faye Baker .
That's who started all that . You know , it's true , right yeah .
My thing is if I ain't sleeping with you , you ain't got no say in what I look like . Don't bother with you , you ain't got no say in what I look like Don't care what you think .
Wow , Rick went down a really interesting .
I'm just saying .
I ain't sleeping with you , okay . But even if they are , what do you care ? I guess you'd have to be attracted to that person .
Well , yeah .
Yeah , don't get me wrong . I think people wear a lot of makeup all the time .
I love the videos where they show an older person or someone who just looks like they woke up out of bed and then they're putting all these pounds of makeup and they look like they're 20 years old .
Okay . Do you sleep with your makeup on ? I never sleep with my makeup on .
I don't wear makeup .
Oh , look at Cynthia Me . Neither Me , neither I do . You can see , I have on eyeliner and mascara , can you see ?
I don't even do that , because I rub my eyes so much that it would smudge .
When I don't wear eyeliner or mascara , my eyes are really . You know , you can't really see them .
Is it the black liquid eyeliner ?
It's not black liquid , but tomorrow it will be no , it's just regular it's not even black .
Is it the old school one you had to burn ?
Oh , remember that one . It was Maybelline , a Revlon One of those , and you would burn it . Oh my God , back in the day I don't even think I wore makeup that much back in the day either . I don't remember . I don't think I've ever worn . I don't wear foundation , but I wear . You don't even wear eye makeup . What's your daily routine ?
So you get up in the morning , you do what ?
I just wash my face . You just naps to me . I barely put just wash my face , I don't . You just naps to me . I barely put cream on my face .
Really , rick , what's your whole thing ?
I don't put nothing on my face . I just wash my face and that's it .
Rick , who's growing a beard ?
I see I need to shave , but people say I don't look 54 , so I guess I ain't doing anything too bad .
What was the age ? What just happened ? I just got a look what . He doesn't look 54 , so oh , did someone think you looked 54 ?
No , that's what I'm saying . Everybody thinks I'm younger , so I can't be doing , you know , something too bad if I'm still looking younger than I am .
I told everyone . I tell everyone all the time I get Botox here . I told everyone . I tell everyone all the time I get Botox here . I do that , I do wear . I have no problem sharing this . I don't think there's anything wrong with wearing makeup . You know what I mean . I just don't like people telling people what they can and can't do .
And also it's like can we get to a place where we think being older is okay ? That was the other part of this whole thing that I wrote is she's making it sound like it's not okay to look older . You're wearing black eyeliner liquid , whatever mask , whatever it is eyeliner and it makes you look old .
Me too , brother , me too , me too I don't wear no makeup and my whole thing is can we just normalize that we are getting older and we look fabulous , no matter what , or we look ugly , no matter what , or whatever . Like you have good days , bad days , but this idea that being older is horrible . I we get mad at hollywood , right for .
But actually we do it all to ourselves , like we all do it all to ourselves , and we keep perpetuating it with articles like this Stupid AARP , we're no longer going after you . I know I'm so bad . I was going to go after them to see if we could be on their show , but now I'm pissed because they didn't let my comment go through .
You see how quick our no one's going to sponsor us , because if they piss me off , what if it's just taking them a long time to get to all the comments ? That could have happened , no because I was looking , I was checking and other people were writing .
There weren't no all comments and there's dates and it showed the time it was a new article .
Okay , yeah , no , good try for effort .
Yeah , that's trying to be devil's advocate though and I know it's all right .
Look at , I think it's over . I didn't really try to get us on to arp , but maybe they will , because you know we're lively and fun and fresh Young . We're not old , we're young . Okay , on relationships ghosting have you ever ghosted anyone ? Has anyone ever ghosted you ?
No , I do have a friend , though , who was a single mom , and she started talking to this guy and he knew she has a .
she had a kid or online be clear .
First online they talked online online and he knew that she had a kid . Okay , and she's very skeptical about who she brings around her son and stuff like that , which is fine .
¶ Ghosting and Online Dating Insights
And so after a while , after after them talking , they finally met .
They met for one day and he ghosted her , oh so they met in person and then he never reached out to her again . Yeah , and she tried to reach out to him again .
Yeah , they were supposed to go out one morning for a brunch or something and he stood her up and never called her again wow , that's .
I mean , I'm not laughing , I guess , did they actually are never met they did .
They didn't meet once , and then they were supposed to go out again and he stood her up .
Yeah , okay did she try to call him and ask him right and he never responded .
Never responded and she said he's still like active on his social media and everything and nothing why do people do that ? Yeah , I don't know . I think that okay , so it's a very attractive girl . She's a beautiful girl , so I know it doesn't matter .
I mean that clearly it's not about her . I mean it doesn't matter if he's not attracted to her . He's not attracted to her . But have a horn is to say something like today . You know what ? I'm glad we met yesterday , it was nice to hang out with you , but this isn't gonna work for the two of us . Okay , it happened to me .
I'm gonna say his name , michael . I'm not gonna say his last name , but his real name is michael . I don't give a shit . Don't give a shit . We met online . We hung out a few times , we did sleep together , whatever , and then one day didn't hear from him at all , like for two weeks .
Don't ghost me when I know where your motherfucking house is , because now I'm going to show up at your motherfucking house . I am that person and nothing happened , that he never gave a reason so I then emailed him and I said you need to tell me what's going on , because okay .
So first and this happens to everyone my first thought is something happened right , like yeah , he's not into you , carmen , that's what happened , but he had been on his social media , whatever the hospital yeah , it's what you want , especially when you're seeing someone over and over again . This wasn't like we just met once and then whatever .
It's like we had seen each other a few times , more than a few times , and we had slept together . You know what I mean . It wasn't like some casual thing . And then I didn't hear from him for two , after talking every day , texting or whatever . That's weird . So finally I said if I don't hear from you by tomorrow , I'm going to go to your house .
I was like I will go to your house because now I'm worried and I don't know your family or nothing . But something's got to be up this Domingo . He responded quick . What's his response ? This was years ago . He was like it's not you . I'm like , oh , fuck off .
Stop . I know you're alive now Fuck off .
I'm done , bitch Done . I was like , wow , what a piece of shit , because it says more about who you are . If you don't have the maturity or the , just the it's consideration , the respect , to turn around and just tell someone . You know what . This isn't working for me .
I thought it was or I met somebody else or I just whatever , I used , whatever it is , just say what you got to say . But yeah , god , ghosting is weird . Yeah , who came up with that ? Was it called something else before ?
Standing somebody up .
Yeah .
I feel like what rick standing somebody up .
Yeah , because ghost things are relatively new word in the past 20 years . I just never knew it before .
But yeah , I'm shook by that whole thing and I was watching again tiktok and somebody was talking about she was really upset because she kept and she was young , you know what I mean and I just felt for her and she was just like we just had such a connection . I'm like , yeah , no , you did it , sorry .
He was crying and I was like , ooh , I'm just glad I'm not on the dating scene now , cause I think it's so hard , the whole online dating thing . I'll never do it again . I'll never do it again . I did it once . Never do it again . And Rick , you're not dating , right .
No , right , rick .
No , I'm not in a position to if I wanted to even . Okay . And Cynthia , we know you're not dating , right , okay ? No , rick , I'm just messing with you . Rick , you were going to go online and meet somebody .
For what ? Just to be an online friend . That's all it's going to be .
We are online friends . Is this not good enough for you , rick ? Yes , I love our friendships , yes , but you're saying you wouldn't do so . You don't believe in online love relationships .
No , I've seen it work . I've had friends that literally they only met online but then they met in person . They eventually obviously did meet eventually , but it would take a long time online , and then they finally met and then they actually got married and they're still married .
Well , Emily did the same thing , right yeah ?
Emily and Gavin .
yeah , and I know four other people who have met online . I think online is just another option . I just say it's a lot of work and I don't care anymore . I don't have it in me to be all up in it . But yeah , online dating is just another option , I think , to find somebody else .
It's going to be easier to reject people online too , because you just block them . You know that's true because you just block them .
You know that's true . Not if you start meeting them and then you .
No , I'm saying before that point yeah , before that point yeah If it's a coworker , you're going to still have to deal with them .
I think there's too many people online too who , and I don't know I haven't done it in a long time but they you put up the facade of who you are . So I think now , like if you can go see their social media accounts or you could go see , I think probably it's better . But when I was online dating , which was a while ago , like 2008 or whatever 2000, .
When did I meet Robert ? It was like 2004 . Yeah , so a while ago it wasn't like we had all these videos and everything you could see people's social media and everything Right . It wasn't like we had all these videos and everything you could see people's social media and everything right . It was just like pictures or whatever .
But I guess now you could show your links and just they can find out everything about you . I would think that's why it's harder to then meet someone and then just ghost them . Why wouldn't you just be like oh , I don't think the chemistry is there .
Because like you said the maturity is lacking .
Maybe yeah , I don't think I could ever turn around and stop talking to someone and not tell them why , or let them know why if it's not an obvious reason . Like you're a stupid fuck tard . You know what I mean and I probably told you that , but it's just a decent thing to do to be like you . You know what this isn't .
I'm glad we had dinner , it was nice to meet you , blah blah , whatever , but I don't think this is going to work . Why is it so hard ? And , by the way , you can do it by text now , exactly , you could just text somebody . What's the point of ghosting when you can just text ? You can email the motherfucker . You can put a little paragraph together .
It's not me , it's you .
I had a friend recently you know I'm talking about probably in a minute but we talked every day , just friends , and then all of a sudden something happened , A fence happened on her part , and then all of a sudden just wouldn't talk and I'm like texting Hello .
What's going on ? I know who they are .
You know who they are , and days and days gone by , then finally do what I'm like . You could have just said something before , instead of making me text you every day .
Okay , Ooh , in the green room you'll have to give me all the juice .
When you hear who it is , you'll be like , oh wow . You'll have to give me all the juice when you hear who it is .
You'll be like , oh , wow , I'm like there's so many people in your life that you've had issues with , you're so problematic , I can't keep it straight .
Yeah , look , I think relationships are hard , but I think you make them harder when you're just not up front about it , and I think the other side of that , too , is am I going to go running after this guy , michael ? I was like , oh fuck , no , you know what . I just needed to know . I'm good , I'm done .
I'm not going to be like , oh , but no , we good , we know who you are . That's all I needed to know was you showed me more of who you are . In that moment , yeah , yeah , that moment , yeah , yeah , come on through my angelo . When someone shows you , believe them the first , it's true . Why is it such a hard concept to understand , though ?
I think because we really want people to like us . We really want people to think we're great and wonderful , and it's hard to think that not everyone likes us yeah , nice dark one but why ? look at , I am . I have said it before , I'll say it a million more times I am grateful when I know somebody doesn't want to be in my life .
I am grateful because all that means is it opens the door and an avenue to the possibility of someone else who is better , or somebody else that might bring more happiness and joy . I don't want people in my life who don't want to be in it . So if you tell me that and you show me that , I'm good .
Yeah , yeah .
I find it a blessing , like I know .
I'm a weirdo . If I drag you down anyway , then see ya yeah , I don't know .
I don't know .
¶ Childhood Reflections and Fashion Trends
I have a feeling that most people don't believe me . But not that don't believe me , but don't practice it right . It's easier to say , but then , when rejection comes , you don't embrace it , you push back on it because it hurts a lot of people think I can fix it , but sometimes you can't . But what do you mean ? Fix it ? You can't fix another person .
I can't make you love me . I know that Some people feel that way .
Yes , exactly I went through that with somebody in my life and we had to go to counseling . Out of her mouth said I thought I could change him , I thought I could fix him . Relationship 101 . Out of her mouth said I thought I could change him and thought I could fix him . And I'm like relationship 101 .
What's wrong with you ? Okay , this must be your ex-wife , because say no name . He said counts like I'm like .
Okay , he's got a terry k is gonna say the name , say the name I know , I'm sorry , I shouldn't have said that , I don't know .
Look , I think women have always been under the illusion that if you do A , b , c and D , then he will love you . So we think we can fix men , or that's what I don't know .
When I was growing up , I think that was the overall thought process Like you can get a good man if you do all of these things , and then to keep them , you have to keep doing all these things . And so what do you mean ? Of course I can fix you rick if I do all this , and it's just . You can't fix any . There's nothing to fix .
It's just when either you accept it or you don't . Those are your choices . You know what I mean . Yeah , um , I remember I had a couple friends who were like like they . They met their soon to be husbands , but when they first met them , we were all at a party , whatever . And , oh my God , I love football . I'm like you don't love football .
No , I love football . Like I already knew where this was going . Okay , what else I wanted to talk about on being Gen X , fashions from back then . Do you remember , cynthia ? You might be too young , but do you remember we used to wear . Remember the roach clips had the feathers , oh my God .
Yes , we'd wear them in our hair like we'd have , but only one with all the feathers . I had a purple one , rick is like roach , what , what ? None of us smoked pop , but we just thought it was poor .
We had the roach clips and we put him in your hair and it would just like walk around like you were a fool yeah , that was one of the things I was thinking about . Gen x okay , what else ? Gen x clothing from back in the day it's all coming back . All the baggy clothing is back , all the big stuff like big pants and whatever . What ?
about the big hair , the big hair , coming back too .
The hair . I hope so . I put my hair down . My hair was really big . I just put it down and I got in today .
I think I have a picture of you with your hair out . I could do it right now . You and Audrey , both your hairs were like out there .
I know , but Cynthia doesn't like people's hair out , so my hair could just be out normal and she's . Oh my God , it's so big , it's so big .
But back in the 80s it was big my hair was big in the 80s .
First of all , my hair was really straight in the 80s .
So , first of all , my hair was really straight in the 80s , so I think you're confusion . I used to have my hair straightened all the time . I'll bring a picture next time if I can find it . Where's the picture ? It's somewhere with my albums . I'll see if I can find it .
You might not be able to because you ain't got a phone that can support that accent . I have pictures of my hair really big on my website . Remember the alligator polo shirt ? Eyes on those are back now Big time .
Real wild .
Did you wear Nike sneakers and Gloria Vanderbilt's jeans ?
Nope . My parents were like why are we going to buy something that's $100 if I get something for $25 ?
Okay , our parents did not buy us these , we got them at like wherever we got those Biting in the basement Like it wasn't . I was never into fashion .
I was never into fashion period at all .
And we weren't so you so it was very colorful . Yeah , so when you were growing up , what was the thing with you and your friends , what was your thing ? And you grew up in Connecticut .
Correct .
Yes , very bougie , that's very bougie . Connecticut is not as bougie as you think Okay , all right .
All right , so I don't know what you're asking me . That would be more specific , please .
Okay . So when you were growing up , what was it like as a kid ? Did you hang out on the street ? Did you ride your bike ?
Did you do skateboarding ? Never had a bike , never had a bike .
Never had a skateboard . Do you know how to ride a bike ?
When I went to Canada once , my cousins tried to teach me and I figured it out . Yeah , I never had a bike . I'm telling you , man , my parents didn't know anything . We weren nothing we weren't allowed to go to them . We didn't own . I didn't own a bike either , but I know how to ride a bike and we all had .
We weren't allowed to go to the movies . Couldn't go to the movies .
Not allowed to go to movies nope , is this because you were religious ? No , they were not religious . They were the ones that stopped me . I'm you know , it was all about them super strict and had to be home by 10 o'clock . I'm like you know , when you get to a certain age 10 o'clock .
I'm like you know , when you get to a certain age , 10 o'clock is when the party's starting . No , I don't care how old you are , 10 o'clock . You got to be home by 10 o'clock . It was pretty strict .
Okay , but why was it strict ?
Because that's the way they were .
That's the way they were .
That's just the way they were . I should be jealous of my cousins because they used to be able to go to movies , they used to be able to go out and they're like oh yeah , your parents are really strict . I know you ain't got to tell me .
You're the only child .
No , I have a brother .
You have a brother . Were they strict with him too ? Oh yeah , was he older , younger ?
Younger . He looks older now , but yeah , I don't know why .
I just said that was mean I know that's evil , but you know jesus and everything . I'm just sorry it's always the christian people , someone , always the christian people . Okay , so I'm just confused . So this kind of explains your obsession with marveling all of that stuff actually , in a lot of ways . Did you miss out on that as a kid ? My dad ?
he was like if I ever catch you watching Flintstones , I'm going to yabba-dabba-do you upside the head . He did not want us watching cartoons . Of course we snuck and watched them anyway , but very strict .
I'm sorry , I didn't mean it . Is this a touchy subject for you ?
It's history , it's what happened , can't change it .
What's your perspective of your childhood ? Do you think of it as a good childhood or a bad childhood ?
Or a little bit of both .
Huh .
Not so great .
Not so great . He was an alcoholic , my dad .
My mom , was fine .
I didn't have a problem with my mom , but dad was an alcoholic and it made life really
¶ Parental Power and Childhood Effects
rough .
Was that mostly why they were so strict is because he was an alcoholic ? It wasn't really .
No , it was the way they were brought up in Portugal , azores , farmland , strict . They didn't have no TV , none of that , blah , blah , blah . And he was very abusive and one time he hit me really bad , beat me , whatever , and he goes . You're lucky . I'm like okay . How am I lucky when ? And he goes , you're lucky . I'm like okay .
How am I lucky when my dad beat me ? I flew across the room and there's blood everywhere . At least that ain't happening .
I'm like so you should have compassion , you should understand what it's like .
Yeah , yeah , it was not great .
Okay , well , I didn't mean to bring us down here . I'm sorry . So how did you , but I'm going to ask you anyway ? Did you , cynthia , what's behind you ? What's that blue thing ? It looks like a leg , but it's a towel , like it , right ? Did it look like a weird ?
It's Xavier's bionic leg . He's getting ready to put in .
When you were raising your kid , though , did you make it a point not to be that person ?
I was so opposite , yeah , so opposite . Never hit him Ever , ever , ever . I didn't have to , because I trained him fear of God From the beginning . People wait too long to be strict . I'm like no , from day one you be strict . You don't let them do anything they want . I'm sorry because the world ain't going to let you do whatever you want either .
Yeah , I'm not a parent . I don't think you know . This is one of those subjects that I do try to stay out of . But I do not believe in beating your kid . I don't see how that ever can help someone and I know too many people who were beaten and it just made them more resentful , but didn't . I was never hit as a kid .
I was hit once by my mother and it was the first and last time she ever hit me because she welted my face . She was so upset and it wasn't about me at all and I was just a little kid . But I said F you to her as a little kid .
I was like seven or eight years old and she picked me up by the collar and kept hitting me and then people took her off of me and they had to put stakes on my face and I always remember that , I always . I can still remember that like weird . But that wasn't about me .
But that's a great example of why you should never want to hit children , because sometimes you're taking out aggression In the same respects . I do understand if a little kid is going to play with the , but I would opt for people never to hit their children . But , cynthia , what do you think ?
I know that you came into your marriage with a lot of children , a lot of children .
You know what I mean yeah , no , I don't , I've never hit them or my nieces .
I was just going to say but what about your nieces ?
Right , no , or my nieces ? I was just gonna say but what about your right now ? Or my nieces and nephew ? I'd yell at them , yeah , and I definitely put the fear in them when I yell at them .
I met them because I wanted to hit two of them one time under the car I was going to they're better now .
But but yeah , I like even now if I yell , it's like they get flashbacks , they say when I used to yell at them and stuff .
But hey , they all turned out pretty good , that's so funny and that's interesting with me too is that if my dad had realized , all you got to do is yell at me , because I'd be like freaking out just from the yelling , you didn't have to yell .
Now my brother . On the other hand , when people don't know , when people abuse kids , it's not about the kids , it's about them . It's a weird and this I can say .
I feel very comfortable saying this it's a weird sense of power and I love this topic of power , whether you're talking about people who own companies and how they treat employees , or whether it's parenting or whatever .
It is a misconception of being the person in charge , which is why you see people hit people and I'm no sociologist , I'm not a doctor , whatever but I'm just saying , as a person who's watched it my entire life from different families , the vantage that I have because of my circumstances I was a part of so many different families and just watching how people
parents especially exert power or older siblings exert power , and it's all fake power because it's not based on respect at all , it's based on fear , and when your children fear you as opposed to respect you , you're doing it wrong . You know what I mean and I know I'm not wrong on that . It's just too much evidence .
You know what I mean . That was what my dad was , that was his whole point , was fear .
Yeah , fear , and as a little kid that sucks . Fear will do damage to you . But as an adult it's not fear anymore , it becomes hate and resentment and lack of respect , which is parents want to be respected but then they go about it all wrong , but anyways , how did we get into it ? That's not on the list , people . It's not on the list .
This is all Cynthia's fault for not being able to watch our guy giving us good stuff . All right .
I'm over keen , and I'm fine . Now I'm over keen , that's the joy .
You turned out okay .
Turned out all right .
And my son can testify and my son can testify . Never hit , him Never hit him .
Did you ever beat up anybody else , though , like in school I ?
don't see you beating up anybody . Well , me and my brother went roughhouse .
Is roughhouse , another word for beating each other up .
When , I think , beat each other up like you are trying to permanently not permanently , but you're trying to cause damage or roughhouses . You're just , you're fighting but you're not necessarily trying to really hurt them . It's like when people watch , you ever see kids play wrestling .
They watch wrestling and then try to throw each other on the bed or whatever , like a wrestler does , just like that , trying to hurt them .
Yeah , I don't know anything about that . I don't know . I'm being honest , I don't have kids , I don't know , and all my kids are girls , except for Rockwell , who's two . Rockwell is two .
I except for Rockwell who's two ?
Rockwell is two . I can't picture you throwing Cynthia on the bed Me throwing Cynthia on the bed . Yeah , I can't picture that Cynthia and I didn't have that relationship . Cynthia , I think , hated me for most of my life .
No , I didn't . Oh , this really got interesting .
Rick is now . Now we're going to close down the show .
We ain't talking about me , no more , I'm done Now . Now we're going to close down the store . We ain't talking about me , no more . I'm done Now . It's all her . It's all her , right there , it's actually funny .
Today I was at work and I was just bored and so I went on our website and our employee website and there's this little thing that you can like , a little survey you can do to see if you have any mental illness , any depression stuff like that . Apparently I have anger issues .
What do do to see if you have any mental illness , any depression stuff like that apparently I have ?
anger issues ? I agree , you do . You're , it's always the quiet ones , always , I'm telling you , always the quiet ones . Is that when it said you have anger issues ? Yeah ?
and it was funny because it was one of the questions where was when someoneys you do you feel like punching them ?
And I put yes . You do Because you don't tell okay . This is why you don't tell people how you feel immediately . What oh , no , it's okay Is the morning green . What is the bringing ?
Wait , don't tell me you pushed Xavier to understand . I'm just kidding , I know , oh no the truth goes out .
No , okay , did you find that surprising that it came up ? I'm not surprised that it said you .
No , actually I wasn't surprised . I was laughing about it , because Juan has always said that I have anger issues . I think you do too , yeah . I do get road rage , sometimes here's the thing .
You would never do anything about it , so you hold it all inside .
Yeah .
Whereas I'm the opposite , like if I'm mad at you , I'm a tell you , I'm a let it out , so don't build up yeah .
Holding stuff like that and it's not good for you actually .
Yeah , but , rick , I don't think you would yell and scream at anybody either if you were upset .
Well see , xavier just said that Cynthia will tell you about yourself . No , no .
But we had to try it . Okay , that's different . Okay , I mean , as a kid , that's different , that's different . But when we were growing up I didn't really hang out with you .
Well , where were you ? I was like little , while you guys were going out .
Yeah , okay , yeah , but you were like a quiet , good little girl , mm-hmm , mm-hmm . And now , how did we connect ? I don't even know how we became friends . When did that happen ? Like I'm closer to you , I don't even talk to your sisters anymore .
I mean , I said happy birthday to Audrey the other day , but I don't really talk to them at all and they're more my age . But you and I connected . I know why we connected , but I don't understand how we connected . Interesting We'll have to talk in the green room . Interesting . I know why we connected because we have similar issues with fathers .
Yeah , oh yeah . So I know that I got that , but I don't remember when that actually happened . So we'll have to investigate that and then write a book about it .
All right .
We're past the hour mark and , yeah , we're going to do a lot of editing on this or we'll just do a whole different podcast . I don't know lot of editing on this or we'll just do a whole different podcast , I don't know .
But that was random and all over the place and cynthia is gonna buy a new phone yeah , I don't think at some point .
Oh my god , I will . Okay , we're gonna talk in the green one . I will buy you a new phone . I'll give you my credit card . Just buy the damn phone
¶ Random Reflections and Personal Stories
. Um , um , rick , as always , thank you so much , cynthia . Thank you for coming on , even though you ruined my whole four minute thing on this pretty guy . But the whole topic of the show , but it's all good . We just went down a whole other random area .
I'm half and sad about rick's terrible childhood and about alcoholism and about ghosting , but whatever , it's all about you . We love you All good . Thank you for stopping by . Everyone , remember it really is all about the joy . We'll see you next week . Bye , bye . Thanks for stopping by . All About the Joy . Be better and stay beautiful .
Folks , have a sweet day .