Searching for Balance: A Conversation on Money, Happiness, and Respect

Hi everybody , welcome to All About the Joy . We got Rick , of course , in the house , as always . We got Tony D and one of our new favorite people , tommy . But , tommy , why did your camera just change ?

Now we look at up at you . I , because I had to move it because my other device , the Tony , said about charging it . So I'm like you know what , let me double check and make sure that this is charged . So I wanted to plug it in and charge it , is it okay ?

Yeah , no , it's fine . It just looks like we're looking up at you like this now .

Yeah , sorry , just don't look up my nose , yeah , okay .

Well , you know , I can only edit so much . So this is the first time Tony D and Tommy Lee are on the show together , so we've already did little introductions in the green room and they already hate each other . I'm just kidding . I'm just kidding . But , tommy , I have to tell you something that happened the other day .

Yeah .

It was really funny . I was like yeah , no , no , it's not that Tommy Lee , but she doesn't believe me . She thinks I'm covering , so she thinks Tommy Lee Lee is actually my client . So we're just going to go with that . I guess it's all good , he was here .

He was here first . This is the original .

That's right . Are you sure about that ?

Because I believe me , I did my research . He's like , oh I'm sure Better than me .

All right , all right . So the first thing I wanted to ask Tony , because he celebrated his birthday on Thanksgiving . Happy belated , happy belated .

How was your ? Birthday Thank you , thank you , thank you . It was excellent . I want to see my mom , I want to see my sister . My brother-in-law , my nephew , my niece hung out with them for the weekend Much needed .

Yeah , you had some cool Facebook posts too , yeah . So is it weird I mean , because this has happened more than once that your birthday lands on Thanksgiving ?

That's the day I was born .

Yeah , okay .

Right .

So yeah .

Yeah , especially to my mom , and I've been told by my grandmother and one of my aunts that I'm the guy to interrupt the Thanksgiving dinner .

Wait , I missed that . Say that again .

I interrupted Thanksgiving .

That's kind of mean in a way , but you were blessing and they were grateful for you . Yes , right .

I got to back for the rest of my life .

Mom was thankful that she finally got to pop you out . Thank you , I believe it , I believe it .

I think of all the holidays . If I had to be born on when it would be Thanksgiving . That's a good one .

That's a good question Actually .

So Joel's birthday . Joel was on . The show is on July 4th , which I think would might be another cool one as well , just because like as a kid , you would think everyone's celebrating your birthday , or whatever .

Right , I was thinking no , okay , I was thinking , joe , today .

No , no , no , no , no no .

All the fireworks would come on . Well , I just found out yesterday .

Wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait . Can't talk over each other because I am not that good at editing .

I said , another good reason before the July is the fireworks might cover up the mom screaming .

That's true , that's true . That's a good one . What were you saying , tommy ?

I found out that we might be putting Christmas Day on hold because my nephew and his girlfriend she's due around that time , so if she goes early we're not on .

Christmas . See , I would think that's a terrible day to have a birthday Christmas day . That's what I heard . That would be horrible , but what I've heard too .

I've grown Christmas babies and I got a sister . She was born on 4th of July , yeah .

Her and Joe Lava . Yeah , do I know , joel Dubay . We'll have to talk about that later . Tommy , because I know the name , I just don't remember .

I think he's now the president of Nesba , which there's no more Eastern Mass . So yeah All right .

Okay , we're going to go into the way .

Okay , that's another story for all the people , all the people , okay , so how ?

was everyone's Thanksgiving . Tommy Lee , how was your Thanksgiving ? It was great .

It was really . Yeah , really really was . I was kind of I was looking at the weather and I was like , oh , it's a great rain and snow up in New Hampshire and sleep .

Yeah , that's always good , yeah , yeah , yeah . So it was nice . That's awesome , rick . How was yours ?

Well , we were supposed to go to my son's mom's house , but let's just say it didn't happen .

So okay , we can just leave it at that , if you want , that's okay .

He did come over at night with food though , so I was grateful , so it was good so all right , I'm gonna have to get that backstory later .

That's all I'm saying . I had a great Thanksgiving . I ended up doing some volunteer work , which is what I kind of always do on Thanksgiving and I had just been back home because I had to go to that funeral . It's . I was done with traveling , but I had a lovely Thanksgiving as well . It probably is one of my favorite holidays , I think .

Just like that . Yes , january babies , woohoo .

Yeah , because woohoo . All right , so that's so funny . All right , I wanted to know if you guys had had any good or bad things you wanted to share . That has happened in the past week or so . Any news , anything good , bad , Go ahead Tommy .

I have good news , as you know already .

Yes , and that you know . It's kind of one of the reasons why I put in there . I was going to force you to say anything but so I got a job offer . Wait , you have to tell everyone that you were looking for work for a while , right ?

Yeah , almost a year since January

I don't think I've ever done that in my entire life . But you lived in the city . I live in the suburbs . Oh , that's right . That's right yeah .

So it's close to home , it's 20 minutes out , it's a contract position covering for the HR manager who's going out on maternity leave , but it does have the potential to go permanent .

So congratulations , I'm so happy for you .

So all you had to do was go on all about the joy and boom , you got a job .

You see what happened . It just happened , Just like the good energy . The good energy just throws it out there . Yeah , that's what it was , Rick . What about you ?

Well , you said good or bad . So , remember , I've been a little bit whining about my job because I'm like I don't know what's going on , who's where , what's where . Well , now I know kind of what happened . So the main building that they wanted did not get constructed properly . So I was like , oh , you're kidding me , so what's going to happen ?

But it doesn't mess with you , money wise or income wise , it's just a pain in the ass , that's all .

Yeah , I thought you'd tell the word for the most part .

No , I went from home , but they just moved from where they were in one city to another city , to two different buildings . One was supposed to be temporary and one the permanent one . It was not up to code and now they got to redo stuff and they don't even have electricity there , you got to bring a generator . What is happening ?

It's just cumbersome for you though .

Yeah , because I literally don't know who's where , what's where , like somebody would or something , oh yeah we probably have it , let me call . I don't know who's where it is , it's just annoying . Is it that much of ocean violation .

What is ?

what is ?

the building , and then you have to bring your own , like heater or ventilation or whatever .

I don't know Tommy . Tommy knows all about this stuff .

I'm gonna have to agree . I mean , you would have to be up to code with OSHA and you know all those violations , and you can't have people working in a building that doesn't have heat or electricity .

It's literally just my boss . He's the only one that goes there .

Yeah , he owns a company's house . Whatever , tony , I know you text in or doing other things .

I was clear my bills out . Sorry , I got to pay my bills .

Busy man tonight .

Actually I enjoy this , I really do , and I know you do cuz you always on the shows .

Oh , the people asked me to be there and it's not that it this time's what I can't be . I'll give it this past weekend More than anything . I give him when I'm at work , but if I've got free time I try to be there . I try to support everybody . I really do .

Look at Tommy , don't know you . So he's like he spreads himself to thin . He gets upset with everybody . But he don't get upset cuz he's not that kind of guy , but down deep inside he is . It's a weird thing . He's just crazy . We love him , but he local .

Right down , carmen says she loves me .

No . It's on video oh , there you go , lord . So , tony , any any good or bad news this week ? I mean , you had a birthday , so it couldn't have been like super bad .

I have to tell you that this past month is good for a lot of things that need to be done and things cleared up over . With resolved this . It was a lot , and Rick knows a lot of what I've been going through for the past couple years and what I've had to get done and Between the move getting wait , wait , wait , wait , jealous , jealous , wait , what , what ?

Well , that's so weird because Rick be talking to me and he didn't tell me nothing about you . I see how this is . Who's gonna get in trouble right now ?

You know about me having to move and everything . So that was the biggest fight in that move and he knew how hard I was trying to go through that . But I got to the move . I got things cleared up .

Well , let's give Tommy a little information . You just finished a divorce and you had to move out of your home , or something right ?

Yeah , it was a fight I lost . Just being honest about it was a fight that I lost , so I had to move and it was moving Lasting . I had to travel out of town for a convention , come back and work and go back out of town . My birthday didn't come back and work . So it's been a lot . It's been very busy , been a progressive month .

That's for real , for real , that's for real , that's true .

That's what I try to push more than anything .

It's just social media . I mean , I know you spend a lot of time on social media , but this is one of the things that happened to me this week . I'm just tired of negativity in general . Like I have no tolerance anymore . Like people coming up with excuses at work for why they didn't do something they're supposed to do all the time .

You know what I mean .

And and then the excuse is not you know what . I'm sorry , I messed up . It's well , sheila Didn't call Susan and then Susan told me and I thought that and I was . I have no Patience anymore and I don't even think that's about getting older . I'm just done with people being Irresponsible , negative people who push other people down to lift themselves up .

That's just on my desk , your clip . I want that out there . People who have to push other people down to get themselves up you suck , I'm calling you out . I've been like , yeah , are the weakest motherfuckers walking ? Guys , we're in earth . And I said you let down , purpose it's really like it , down to put yourself up . You're the weak one .

Okay , that will be a clip as well , look it . But I think it says something about the society we're in right now . So right now , what's happening ? It's 615 here on the West Coast and you know we don't really talk about politics here , but right now DeSantis and Gavin Newsom are on Fox News having quote-unquote debate .

Well , it probably be over by then , oh 90 minutes .

I'm pretty sure you can .

YouTube it or find it somewhere .

I mean , tony , you do what you gotta do , but I don't want to hear it in the background .

The reason why I bring it up is because I know that a lot of people are like all gunning to watch it . Rivalry fight thing , a Magiggy between Florida and California , and I'm . I'm so over it . I have a good aspect of it . I have not heard that what ?

do you mean what aspect of California thing ? I have not heard that aspect .

Well , it doesn't matter . I mean that's why they're , that's why they're having this debate right , it's because they've been both like who's sorry , I'm gonna say it this way who's penis is bigger ? Right , who's bigger is basically , and look it , I love Gavin Newsom , don't get me wrong . I live in California for a reason and I voted for him and I love him .

I really didn't give a damn yet about a lot of these politicians campaigner for the presidency . I think it's too early and I'm not too comfortable in any of the candidates .

I'm really now we're not talking about politics here , but thank you for sharing . No , I'm just saying , going back to negativity , right , that's what I'm talking about .

Internet , I'm saying it's everywhere is what I want to contribute to that , if you don't mind . I've been saying for years Disrespect is taking over society worse than politics , and negativity is one of the biggest aspects . Of people are very negative and disrespectful To this side . They've been that way , I , before the pandemic . They've been worse after .

mean by disrespect ? Can you hone in on an example ?

People have no respect for anything or anybody . It's terrible out here . Yes , sir .

I have to agree with you and I'm going to put it in the terms that I use , and I actually come and I learned this from Jerry , I think especially after what you just said after COVID , everybody is me , me , me , I , I , I . Yes , it's all about me .

And I know it's for anything else or anything anybody else has except for themselves .

Right , and I think it's gotten worse after COVID .

Yes , it's interesting that this came up . I was watching Gary V on Twitch and one of the things they were saying was that in our generation it used to be the elders were the respected ones and the kids were like what do you know ? Now it's flipped . If you're not young and hip and hot , you're nothing . And the old people , what do you know ? It's reversed .

But I'm going to put a little twist in this . Like , as much as I agree with what you're saying , rick , our generation is the one that's raising these kids . Like I've had this argument before with parents I'm not a parent , but that's why I can see so clearly .

That was actually part of it too . He was saying it was because of the technology . And nap , because the old people don't understand how to use the technology , so they feel left out . And the young people are like you don't know how to do this , so making them look like they're stupid .

I don't even know if that's true . That's an extreme , because we're not even talking about old people , we're talking about us and millennials versus Gen Z , right ? I mean , all of us know how to use technology . I mean , I know what you're saying , rick , but I also think that's a cop out . It's not about technology .

Scale .

Yeah the scales are , but maybe it is pendulum , I don't know . You go from one into the next . Pendulum is swinging . Ok , so pendulum , right . So I remember back in the day when I was younger .

I agree , I agree you got to take care of yourself . You got to take care of yourself before you can take care of anybody else .

Wait , who did ?

Tommy , just talk to . I was listening to you and I have Alexa playing in the background and I thought she was a little too loud so I didn't want her to overtake what anybody was saying . I was like introduce honey .

Introduce , we need to see who the person is .

I asked him to just lower it . We'll go , go go .

I thought it was the dog .

I thought it was the dog too . That's what I was saying . Oh no , he already went to bed .

Oh my God , he's so funny . He looked at me and he's like yeah , it's eight o'clock , let's go . And he stopped , and he looked at me and he was like fine , and he went and he curled up in the bed .

I'm done , I'm out .

That's a good one Good talking , I'm actually more upset .

I mean , it's kind of the same thing . I have no more patience for negativity .

It's kind of like , that's kind of how I feel about soccer moms .

With their . They don't exist anymore . Is that just the ?

Oh , believe me , they're out there with their baseball caps and the ponytail through the back , and they got their jogging suit on their pink jogging suit and drinking their latte .

It's not a latte . It's usually in the thing , it's all like yeah , we all know what it is .

It's not a latte .

The cappuccino .

Yeah , it's a cappuccino . Extra from Starbucks . Oh , wait so we are soccer moms , now Karen's . Is that what they are ?

Yes , Some are .

Yes , some of them are yes .

And that's a good point that you just brought up See how things involve , how things change , oh , from soccer moms , soccer moms , and now Right , I mean I guess the Karen thing is people that want to talk to your manager and they just don't have any patience or whatever .

That a stay at home mom is doing everything with the kids and the father's always busy working . Correct Originally .

Originally OK , and then it evolved into something else .

It evolved into somebody who's looking to live their life and I want to say as a dependent of their spouse which is cool because you're doing something with the kids . But some of them want to be drama gossiping . They pretty much want to do their board and they need something to do . That's what they start doing the camera crap .

Right , cynthia just said Starbucks with Bailey's . Hey , whatever works , baby , not what I hear you .

So they all drink your white Russians .

I mean , let's face it , if we could all stay home and be independently wealthy , I'm pretty sure we'd all do it , wouldn't we ?

Yes , those of us that have worked absolutely . Yeah .

OK , here's what I'll say . I feel like , just because I know so many ridiculously wealthy people , that is an actual recipe for disaster , Because at some point you get bored , you have nothing to do and then you start nitpicking over the stupidest thing , so you have to find something to do with your life . That's what I tell people . It's not about money .

That's the right level to go to with you , rick . Go ahead . Rick , I didn't want to cut you off . No , no , I wasn't saying that You're around the rich folks . So for those of us who are around the rich folks , let me ask you this They've got the money that we're fighting to get . Are they lonelier Mainly because they can't trust who they're around ?

Tony , that's a great question . I'll tell you this part , I think loneliness it runs the gamut through everyone , right ?

I think they're showing the good times of their lives more than they're showing off what they don't have .

Right , right . So then we all start comparing ourselves to the best parts of Tony D , as opposed to actually knowing , maybe , what the truth is , which is an entire thing . So let

That's true and that's your mentality on the aspect of what you're doing . I got that point .

So money doesn't change loneliness or happiness , or it doesn't give you medical Like you would think , being able to go to any medical doctor and do whatever you want to do . You know what ? My clients still died of cancer , suffered with whatever diseases , like everyone else you know , like all of these weird things .

I could do this for an hour . I could really do this for an hour . What for an hour ? Do what ? The question that I could ask you . From the answer you have , because I don't know too many people in that position , and a lot of times when we bring up questions about things , you'll notice how me and Brian will be like we know this , we know this .

I'm just saying in my experience and I can say I've worked with , I'm going to say , over 40 extremely wealthy people Over the years I've seen people who had nothing and then made it big . That's a whole other ball game . You would think like , oh there are the big ones . No , money can be very manipulative and powerful and you create bumps along the way .

It's not enthusiasm .

Money has an ability because if you're not mature enough to deal with it , it changes you . Yes , right , because you think now you have power . But money power is bullshit power . Real power has nothing to do with money .

I think it has due respect .

That's all we done and that was a great show . Thank you so much , but that is it . If you respect someone , it doesn't matter how much money they have . All of a sudden , that's a real different kind of or somebody's really smart and is able to do it . Somebody's really smart and is able to teach you something . You have respect for them .

There's too many people that believe that they're broke or just wanted more , but they think well , if I was rich , I would be happy , and it's so not true .

You know it's funny . You said that because this is the third time money and happiness has come up in this conversation In different ways . You just said it , kamen . You said it earlier Money does not buy you happiness .

And I love that . I've had the experience because , like we say it as a cliche , but I'm telling you I swear to your mama there's gravy and I'll never say that twice , but it is so factual , I've seen it up close and personal . And look , it's not to say that we shouldn't want to pursue to have more money to pay some bills . That would feel so good .

It's the love of money . That's the root of money and that's why he's pointing at me , because he knows I'm getting very safe Love of money .

Oh , that was happening . Love of money ? I don't know . I mean , yeah , the love of money . You're right , I think money is a tool and we should all want the best tool possible . You know what I mean . That's how I have learned my lesson from all these people is so many of the people that I've worked for throughout the years have such regrets .

He always moves everything around me cream Dalla , dalla , bill y'all .

Oh , ted Hicks is in the house . He opened . Me and Rick are always like why .

That's why I'm here .

But money should be used as a tool . And because I handle so many people's money , I feel like I've learned . That is the lesson I've learned is like , if you can see money , whether you have it or you don't have it , detach the emotional part . Tommy , I was telling you this the other day and I've told so many people this story .

He doesn't know about to let him go . I hope he's watching the show . You know I said you went deep on them . I got where you coming from , but you went deep on her .

Really good point , like the reason . Like I said earlier , you know I have certain rules and regulations and standards . I am not going to do an hour and a half drive into the city and an hour to drop half drive because I need more time . That's right . That's four hours out of my day , you know . I get up in the morning it's dark .

Why don't you just have your chef set up your meals for the week ? Yeah right , no clients .

You don't get enough of you , don't get enough value for the time spent is what you're saying .

Exactly .

So what if it was worth it ? So you had less hours , you still had the same drive . Would you do it ? Which goes back to what she was saying about time .

That's a really good question .

I appreciate it and I'm asking seriously . I've had jobs and I want to throw this out there . Yeah , it was only one time ever I felt like the money wasn't worth it . I was making more money than I ever made before , I had debts cleared , I had excess in the bank and then I got tired of the job and that's when I was deployed overseas .

I look at it this way . And the situation I was in . I was making really good money working in the city . I didn't have to want for anything . The problem was I never had any time to do anything . Yes , I couldn't take a vacation because I had to be there .

I was 21 , moved out of my home for the first time , was working two jobs . I had money in the bank and no time to spend it because I was too tired to go anywhere .

I agree with Cynthia . No job is worth your mental health .

I agree too , by the way .

Tommy Cynthia is the one who loves you . She's like he is so cute and adorable . I love him . I love him . I sent him she can't wait to meet you . You'll meet her . She's on our show . She's my cousin . She's actually my cousin .

She's your cousin , yeah , cynthia .

She's my cousin .

Y'all do look similar , though Y'all do laugh the same .

We don't look similar at all because we have differences . I told you we don't have a family tree , we have a family bush . Bush , we don't look like it was yeah . I know I'm not saying that people . Rick , why don't you chime in ? You didn't say no .

I was going to say if you can't enjoy life , I don't care how much money you throw at me . If I'm miserable , I don't want your money .

Yeah . I'm not saying people are walking around miserable who are rich . I'm just saying I do know a couple of people that I think handle money well , you know what I mean . These two individual people happen to earn their money . They grew up really poor .

You know working in human resources , not to cut anybody off , but no true words have ever been said Like I've looked at people that I've worked with . You get to know them and you can tell their stress , whatever the case may be , whether it's about money or a home situation or a personal thing .

Please work with me , and that's a good boss .

I mean , I don't do it for everyone . I do it for the people who I know deserve it .

Agreed .

Well , look , here's the thing .

This is my mantra . I always tell my clients your commodity is not whatever it is you think you're creating . Your commodity is the people who work for you . I don't care what you're creating , I don't care what you think you're putting out in the world . If the people aren't there working , doing what they got to do , you have nothing to sell .

The reason why I brought that up and the reason why I and I said this to my boss afterwards . I said you know , you get three bereavement days when somebody passes away . Yes , where my mother passed away , I got three days off . Wow , wow . I went back to work . I was not emotionally ready to go back to work .

Right , you know what the job gave you . The job gave you respect .

Going back to what you said , respect .

Stephen said I've seen my manager cry at work from the stress of hire bosses .

That makes sense when I worked at my company .

I cried in my office almost every day , every day , and my assistants would come in and they would be like , can we get you anything ? They were so stressed because I was like a basket case . I actually ended up going to the hospital . This was that brand new school , I don't even mind mentioning it .

I didn't know , stroke they got it , so they rushed to the hospital .

It was palsy . What is it ? How do you say ?

it . That was palsy . Yeah , my mom's had it twice .

Yeah , and here's the thing I should have quit . Then I stayed four more years and the stress just got crazy . I was flying back and forth . You know it was ridiculous , but yeah , I would cry in my office all the time .

Another word I'd like to bring up . We talked a lot about respect tonight . Another word I'd like to bring up and we don't have to , because I know we're short on time , but maybe the next time Compassion . Compassion for each other , human beings , people in general , compassion for our elders , compassion for younger people coming up Ooh , that's a good one .

Can we talk about that ? Yeah , there needs to be Compassion for younger people .

Put it on the list . It needs to be mutual . It needs to be mutual between both sides , 100% .

But does it . I mean you can't expect it to always be mutual . You have to be the person to do it so that other people will start to learn to do it . It's not going to be mutual because people are not doing it .

But don't we always ? Go back to saying the same thing that if you want to be respected , you have to earn respect and you have to give respect . Yes , mutual , Is that what you're saying ?

Yes , sir .

OK , ok , I'm going to say it this way , like if I don't know you , because nine times out of 10 when I walk into an office , I don't know anybody there I'm going to respect you . I don't need you to earn it .

Thanks , impassion . I respect our two different . And that's why I said that's another subject to talk about , to bring up at the next .

Look at the sassy , carmen will come up . Hey , you know .

Carmen knows that I can get ghetto .

She didn't say ghetto , she said sassy .

I know . But I'm saying you know , I can get ghetto , it is ghetto , it is .

I'm going to say that sassy . I read in a book Compassion for Others is the key to joy .

I like that . I like that .

I like that . That's a nice motto right there .

I'm writing a book on all about the joy , so I'm just going to keep quiet . I just can't wait for that . Wait , what's that ? What's that ? Thumbs up thing .

She liked what I said . She agrees with me .

I like what you come up with .

I've never seen that before . Who did that ?

I've seen it happen there , oh yeah .

They're like little emojis .

OK , I'm so confused right now . Rick , have you seen that before ?

I didn't even see it now . No , I didn't see anything , so on .

Tommy's screen . Somebody did like a bubble and a thumbs up and I've never seen that . I guess nobody likes us , rick , that's why I like Tommy . And when we say they , we know , it's just you know .

I've been on that podcast before and it's popped up in the rooms I was on on the other app too . That's something new that everybody's computers are .

I don't get it , but is it restream or is it YouTube ? That's my question .

I've seen it on Tantino .

Oh , so it's probably YouTube . It's probably YouTube then .

Yeah , but we're on restream though , so we don't think that I know you can do it on Zoom , and there's another platform you can do it on too , because we used to do it at work all the time , maybe .

I just did it too Sick of laughing . We interrupted this whole thing for some pop up screen stuff , Because it was cool , I know it was Cynthia .

No , I'm just kidding with you , Cynthia . Cynthia's married and Tommy is lovely , but Tommy's not going to love us . Cynthia and I go talk later .

I'm bleeding . I'm bleeding .

I'm bleeding the fives . I'm bleeding the fives . I'm bleeding the fives Child . We all tried when we were younger . We knew it was over , there was no possibility .

When Stephen said compassion for others is a key to joy , it makes me think of another very famous person that said it's better to give than to receive .

Don't even try to put Jesus all over you . In your sly , motherfucking way . I didn't even say his name , you did . Don't even try to sneak in his little Jesus shit . Keeps him $500,000 .

I tried too .

I don't want it because it's the truth , not alot , but I learned from your moron right , gotta tuvoeder pit depends upon what being is .

I'm gonna write this one down for the next topic too . Write this one down as well , for the next question .

Why are you trying to make me write this down ?

No , no , no , no , no , because you brought up a good point . It's gonna be a great conversation .

But I do think it . Well , I don't know .

Oh , no , no , no , I see where Tony's going with this .

I'm on board with you . Why , tell me now we should have a minute .

Nope , write it down , you don't have time , that's it next week Polished , mm-mm .

Polished , even though it's going . Tony , cheers to you Even though I'm drinking water , but cheers to you , we're on the same page .

I will admit it's the way we made tonight . That's gonna be a great broadcast when we bring up a conversation . Same way . Tony's been honest and it will correlate . You will enjoy it . See , we're working with you . We're working with you .

Okay , I just feel like y'all hurting my feelings and oh .

We got you , don't you worry about it ?

No , no , all right . Well , I don't know , rick , are you in on this too with the boys ?

No , I was gonna say that I freely admit I'm maybe one of those that has a little bit of an issue of receiving and I'm like just be happy , enjoy it , stop feeling guilty or whatever it is I'm thinking of .

I tell you where it comes from for me , Cause this will put a twist on it . This is gonna put a twist on it , and I don't mean to make anyone feel bad . The reason why I believe this in my heart of hearts is my mother died at 49 because she didn't ask for help , and I find it hard to believe , even though I don't remember her that well at all .

Can I tell you something that I don't think you know ? Oh God , Okay , go ahead . You know Michael . You know Michael Bonanno , right ?

Okay , let's go with yes .

Okay , I'm actually with him in St Anthony's . He taught St Anthony's , he taught Abelarrows Michael . He's good friends with Jerry Okay go ahead . He's also a school teacher . Okay , for summer reading , he gave all his students your book to read .

No way Wow .

Yes , he did . Wow , I should know who he is .

And he said I know you need Facebook .

I need to see a face .

We have this comment . I need a name .

I have a picture of him somewhere . I have a picture of him somewhere , I'll show you .

That's cool , he's not on Facebook .

He is on Facebook actually .

Why didn't he tell me ? You know , I was doing speaking events in Boston before the pandemic . I was so excited I did three .

Yeah , don't recall my phone ringing .

Hmm , no , no , I , oh my God , oh my God .

He said no , no .

I went to do speaking events because of my book and then the pandemic hit . But I did not know that .

I didn't know that . I know I didn't think you knew it , but I was like you know what I feel like I need to tell her .

Yeah , it's great that you told me live and .

I don't know , I totally do you should have told me live , but I have no idea who it is I want you to think of it , and I know you're not going to think about this , because when they came back and he , you know , discussed it with his class , how many lives do you think you may have changed ?

She's about to blush . I can't wait . She's about to blush . Think about that .

It's like that movie , it's a wonderful life . You have no idea , carmen , can I tell you something ?

Oh my gosh .

Your book is going to do what you told us to end in this one it's going to be forever .

There's this new thing here on this program where I can turn around and I can block you all off easily .

Look at Cynthia .

I didn't see that in for a car . You didn't see this one . You were the one who told me to be careful how I come across and how I be careful to project myself and look at the impact you had that you didn't even then realize . Go ahead and cry . What is it you want me to do ? Go ahead and cry .

No , wait , wait , wait . Here's the thing . What is it that you ? I didn't know that Michael did that . I feel bad . I don't remember who he is , so I need you know . I talked to Tommy on the phone , which you could have shared this on the phone with me , but that's OK .

Good job , Tommy Cheers .

Just saying like I need you know , there's a lot of people that I don't remember , for a very real reason . There was a lot of people back then that were around us and watching us perform and working with us and that we were part of groups with . Like I don't remember everyone . You were young and I was young , I was really young .

Yeah .

Turned around and they saw a kid and turned around and said you know what ? We're going to make sure she has a Christmas . We're going to make sure she has a couch . They didn't have an extra guest house or guest room or a pool house and I am always going to be grateful for that .

They were always known as the walls and they will always be known as the walls .

Yeah , the walls .

They were always known as the walls , and I was circle . Everybody says , oh yeah , the wall , oh yeah , you know they were amazing . Everybody knows the walls .

But I mean , I will receive compliments and that's kind of a different thing like what you guys are . It's not that I get bashful about my book . The reason why I don't push my book is because for me it wasn't meant to be a book , so in a way it feels like a fraud . I tried to explain this to Rick and Rick you understood what I was trying to say .

But it wasn't an intention .

It was not , jerry .

It was a thank you to the people in your life .

Jared . I'm sorry , I didn't say Jerry , I said Jared .

Oh , that's the Names will be changed to protect , right . I don't remember everybody's names I changed it to , but Jerry is Jared right , is it Jared yeah ? Now I had to change names really fast because legally I wasn't going to go finding everybody to do it .

When I read that chapter I was like she's talking about Jared . I know she's talking about it .

People who knew , knew their chapters , or the people that we were talking about .

Change names , change genders .

Yeah , well , no , that was just one person who's gender . And then she was mad at me because I did . I'm like you want to be anonymous all the time and now I do it in the book and you get mad . So I was like I can't win either way . And actually I just spoke to her the other day .

That was so funny , but If I understand correctly , it was more like thank you to all the people that were there for me and help me out . That's really what the book was about .

Yes , that's what I got out of it .

Yes , that's what the book was about 100% . Yeah , and I'm writing the second book to Canela and have a name for it Not going to tell you , but I do have a great name for it and surprise us . I like surprises , yeah . And then it's a much more intentional story and it's about what happens next .

You know Thanksgiving we had to off whatever . I was like I'm able to sleep . Now more I , my mind is in a better place , my creative juices were flowing when I'm like , oh wow , I got all these ideas I didn't even realize I didn't have because I was so tired of the time .

I'm not the creative juices flowing . Even when I do my broadcast , I try to do until I can feel a comfortable vibe to put out there what I want to put out there . And I've always told , I've always said that before . So I get that entirely . You don't have a relaxation moment and , rick , I know you got more going on to just work on this .

Yeah , oh , are we hiding something ?

Well , we don't put a lot out there , but we know what's going on . You and I both know what's going on , Rick . I'll start a work .

I'm so confusion . What are we talking about ? His mom keep it offline .

Thank you , that's all . He talks about it all the time . I let him talk about it .

Oh , I'm so sorry . Is that what we're talking about , not the time of the place ?

The money .

He talks about it all the time .

So in my opinion , yes oh .

OK , ok , tommy Rick takes care of his mom . We all know .

Oh .

I know that Now , I do know . I know . That's why I'm confused . Why are we keeping it ?

Well , you know my respect level for Rick just went up 10 more points yeah . I have a lot of respect for a son who takes care of his mother because , believe me , I did it for many , many years .

I know what it's like . It's not hiding a different thing .

No , no , no , no . And dementia is no joke .

Oh , that's even worse .

Yes , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah . Now I feel bad , like I feel like I have a little club in shit and you guys don't like have all these secrets , like doing very alone .

We have broken into the world , just stop .

I feel like I made connections with people and now I'm being left out of the group . No , all right , we're going to jump off because you have another show , tony D .

I do not .

Yes , it's going to be on at 7 15 .

Just have the message .

You won't be able .

Oh , so we're going for another hour Just we are not going to be on for another hour .

I have to go .

Yes , he has to do so . He said he won't be able to make it , so I need to you know , I just have to do the rest yes .

Oh , baby . Ok , no , you don't .

Are we in the book ?

Are we in the book of volume number two ?

Oh hell to the world I would be in it .

Hell to the no Lord . I'm happy people . That's a whole book all by itself .

Yes , it's a movie . It's a movie , trust me .

Yeah , it's the DVD extra specials that come out later .

So before we go , let me just say a few things , first of all , to my guests . Thank you so much . My cohosts , I adore you . Rick Costa , tony D Thank you . Tony D is going to be on the show on a regular basis , right ? We're doing it once a month , third Thursday of the month .

all Peace y'all .

Thanks for stopping by . All about the joy Be better and stay beautiful . Folks have a sweet day .