Navigating Office Friendships, Work Boundaries and Leadership Lessons

Yeah , now we all have uniforms we must wear .

You know , we can always let people know where they can get swag at all about the joycom which you can see at the bottom ticker , because I still don't know how to turn that off , isn't the mug he has ? Cool ? Yeah , it really is all about the joy . It's a good mug . That one's a good one . Yeah , it's really cool .

You know what , melanie , I think , because you're a regular person that comes on this show , I think I'd like to buy you that mug . I'm going to buy Melanie a mug . I will do that for you . Yeah , she's the MVP . I'm going to do that for you , girl . So I will direct message you and we'll hook that up .

So I'm going to show Thor . Remember the candle I was talking about last week ? I think I sent you and Cynthia both , so you would know what it smells like . He did a whole presentation on it , so I'd like to share that with everyone . So this is Thor Bradley , the . What is the name of the ?

Oh , I think he says it , so let's just listen to him for a second . Here it goes .

It smells like knowing how to use the phrase , I don't know . It smells like taking an ice bath and not posting about it on social media , and if you really want to , you can spray it all over your sheets . Now I cannot get out of here without an innuendo , Even if I fucking try .

I was trying to do the intro to impress Rick , who didn't even see it . Whatever , you should be able to save it , but I guess you can't . All right , no , I don't . A lot of gossiping going on , I hear you .

That's why they have to come 'm like , but nobody even lives upstairs , so they're like you're gonna have to talk to the zoning commission , blah blah , and see if they could change . I'm like , I wish they would , because I ain't trying to pay all this money for no reason . This is stupid , because it's 25 per unit , 75 .

So anyway , sprinklers got put in literally yesterday . Okay , wow . And now I was praying lord , please don't let it be more than 500 . But you heard my prayer because it was like 483 or something like that . I was like , why didn't I pray for 300 ? But anyway , so I got that done .

He goes yeah , we still antiquated , we still taking checks . So I'm like you don't take credit cards . Okay , thank God the plumber took credit cards , it's the fire marshal .

Here , take this , this check , hold on to it . I'm gonna talk to my boss and see if he can wave this for you shut up . I was like , are you serious ? He goes , yeah , I said , why don't you just keep it ?

And then if he says , no , rip it up because no , just take it and I'll see what I could do , I was like , dude , that would be awesome if you could do , that'd be really awesome okay , so that was a very specific prayer , I guess wow . So yeah , I was pretty happy about that .

One of the things I wanted to talk about , going back to what Cynthia was talking about , wasn't really about gossip in my office , but one of my clients kept pressing me to talk about politics .

So we have this weekly meeting and it's me and this other person and him and everybody was in the office , so it's not like a closed door meeting or anything , so people can hear you . It's a big warehouse production company and anyways , we're sitting there talking . He's Carmen , I just want to ask you some questions about these two .

And he was saying derogatory things about these two political candidates and I was like I don't talk to my clients about politics and I thought that would be the end of it . He followed me back to my office . He kept asking me and finally I had to be abrupt about it and I was like I need you to respect this boundary , like I had to raise my voice .

You know what I mean and it's not like anyone wouldn't know

where I lean . I'm keeping it secret but I try to keep myself very professional at work . Don't get me wrong . I'm not mean or anything , but I'm not friends with people at work . I'm not friends with anybody at work at any client that I work with . None of them , and several of them in the past .

Like one of my other , I was always like , oh , just come out with us for a drink . No , I will not . Like I've played this game before . So not Like I've played this game before . So it started me thinking about if you guys have any experiences at all with this kind of thing and have you ever dealt with it .

Are there certain things you don't talk about with people at work ? Are you friends with people at work ? Do you guys go out after work and hang out ? I'm just curious of what that dynamic might be in your different kind of work history lives . It doesn't have to be right now , because I know circumstances are very different . Cynthia , it's new rick .

You really do work from home , but just in your whole work life in general it doesn't matter ladies like right now I I don't have any friends at work .

Like I told you , I observe people before I even let them in to my little circle . It's so funny because the other day me and Juan , my husband , were talking and even he said and I thought it was very funny how he saw this and I didn't think he did but he's like you are so closed off from everybody , he's yeah , he's you don't let anybody in . He's .

You always say you don't have friends . He's , but you have some very close friends and those you can count with one hand . He's , but you really have , I guess , kind of trust issues . He's you really don't let people into your personal life , kind of trust issues . He's you really don't let people into your personal life .

And I thought that was funny that he even saw that , because I thought it's me , I was , I'm open with people I'm comfortable with .

Yeah Is wrong Because you're the last person I would think is closed off on the planet . Even though you might not be friends with somebody , if somebody needed something you would sense it and help them . So closed off would be somebody who's not even like just paying attention , Just not even . It's a block . But yeah , Interesting I would .

Okay , I'm not going to overanalyze in my therapy , you know , Dr Carmen therapist , I never , ever talk about politics at work or religion . I've never heard you talk about politics with me or religion , so I don't even think it's a topic with you . Now . You know who I speak to about religion and politics all the time , andrea .

So I have certain friends that we do certain things together , and Alden , billy and Andrea are the people . It's politics and social issues , but really politics all the time . Those are my friends , mia and I . We would never talk . We do talk about politics , but it's not as important as in our friendship . You know what I mean .

Uh , so it's interesting , yeah , but do you care ? You don't care about politics , though , do you ? Yeah , see , so that's why I never bring it up with you , rick . What about you ?

Yeah , I don't know , I don't know what to say , but now , like I see the fight , like we , I've always had respect for firemen . You hear that you know you pull over , you wait . You know what I mean . Always , whatever , always thought they were great , but now I like Jen Yiflet .

That's not the part I'm talking about , but the things that they do . You don't really realize it . I didn't , anyways , yeah , okay , I'm a little giddy about firemen , but you threw me off track . What was I saying about firemen ? But you threw me off track . What ?

But as I think about how work has been for me and how stressful it's been in the past , I'm trying to be better about not bleeding into time that I set aside for myself , right , like making sure I go out for that workout or go for that walk or go out for dinner with a friend or whatever , and not have it consuming .

But it's hard , it's hard , but it's also like when you have to put the boundaries up with a client and say I don't want to talk about politics with you and he couldn't understand why . He couldn't understand why , which was interesting . I think he was trying to egg me on to have an argument .

I think that's really what was going on , because he thinks it's funny and he was being jousting , jousting . We're not jousting , but like .

I'm probably better versed than most people when it comes to politics , and yet I realize I know nothing . You see what I mean . Like I know a lot about politics and even yet I realize I know little . Andrea is also well versed , alden , so I like having these political conversations with people .

So he's one of these people who thinks that he knows stuff and he also , accidentally , as a lot of people do , are misogynistic in the way in which they're talking about the vice president . You know what I mean , like , and I don't know .

I think there's going to be kind of a time period where people have to start getting used to leaders being women , or you know what I'm saying , even something as simple as calling her by her first name and then calling all the men by their last names Obama and Bush and we don't call them by their first names , so things like that .

So I don't , he was trying to get me and I finally then like I I wasn't having that funny ism , but I wanted to go

into something else . Is it possible that there's different , like if you have friends at work , it's a different kind of friendship than the friendships maybe you even make online , versus the friendships you have in person or whatever . Is that a possibility ?

We've been through enough , just talk enough . You know what I mean . I actually consider you now a friend . We've been through enough , just talk enough . And even though I've never met Rick in person , I think he's a friend . And yet there are people I work with child . If they , I wouldn't even , let me just say it . They could call me day and night .

I'm not going to answer that phone until I have to be back at work at nine . Don't care , test me on that night . I'm not going to answer that phone until I have to be back at work at nine . Don't care , test me on that shit .

This was years ago and she ended up backstabbing me and and I learned that lesson quick that was like the last time . So she was saying one thing to me in my face and then , behind my back , she was trashing me and taking credit for stuff that I was doing .

And this was going on for like months and months and I didn't know until my boss at the time blew the fuck up about something I knew nothing about . Wow , and then , even though we figured out what happened , way after the fact , after I'd already left the company Okay , like you know what I mean .

No , that's how bad it got , cause I was about to be fired anyways , they called me and apologized to me , the client , and wanted me to come back , and I was like , oh hell , no , you listen , because here's the thing you , as the leader , as the client , as the person in charge , you allowed the gossip and the bullshittery to continue , instead of coming up to

me and asking me straight up , we could have cleaned that shit up right away , and you are not going to have me be in charge of your crap and then turn around and do something like that to me and think I'm going to come back and do that again . I don't trust you and this is the problem with some of my clients .

They think that it's about them needing to trust me with their millions of dollars . Honey , there is nobody on the planet who wouldn't trust me with their money . There's nobody who would not trust me with their money Nobody . People I don't know have asked me to to take care of their freaking money , because they know I don't care about money .

So when I go in for and meet with a client , my whole thing is like do I trust you ? You know what I mean . Like , yeah , and here are the rules , if I'm gonna work for you , you don't know how many people I've interviewed with , talked with , whatever and they're like we'll just have you sign all the . I don't sign checks , we'll just give you a credit .

I do not take credit cards from my clients . No , I do not .

Oh , but I'm so busy , honey , if you don't have 10 minutes a week to sign your own checks or to work with me to look at what we're spending money on , we're not doing this .

Don't worry about it , I'll sign the checks , I'll take care of everything . Cynthia , I got it , don't worry . No , I have so many checks and balances in place and a lot of people don't want that . They don't want like I can't sign . I can authorize millions of dollars .

I can say I need to pay so and so a million dollars , whatever , 900 something dollars to secure whatever we need to secure , blah , blah , blah . It doesn't get authorized until the other person who has the same as I do says it's OK , and he can't do it either . He can initiate something , but then I have to offer it's a checks and balance .

You know what I mean . So that way , neither one of us . By the way , there's also a third party . It's always like JP Morgan or Wells Fargo there's another party involved , right ? Who's actually doing the transaction . So if I do something weird and I'm like no , it is for Cynthia Ruiz . Trust me , deposit it into her account .

It's going to be a red flag , even if the other person authorizes it . You know what I mean .

So that's the other thing you want . When you're dealing with anybody else's money or anybody else's livelihood and you're making decisions for them , you want somebody else to check you . You want somebody else to be like Carmen , you know what .

And that's happened a couple of times where somebody was like Carmen , I don't think that's what you meant to do to that account . That's the wrong account . I was like oh my God , thank you , you know what I mean . Yeah , yeah , exactly yeah .

Okay , Can you see what's wrong with that ? Well , obviously I would have not done it wrong if I knew what you're talking about , and then we'll wait until I finally figured it out . I'm like why didn't you just say I made a mistake ? Oh , it's like that's you . Oh yeah . Meanwhile , Rick fixes everybody's dang mistakes and never says nothing .

I just fix it and go on , because I got stuff to do .

I tell my clients like nobody learns from being humiliated . So if somebody makes a mistake , the last thing you should be doing is shoving it in their face every five seconds or testing them , like you can't test someone out of a mistake . So if I make a mistake and Charlie hey , charlie , that's called Exactly . I love that .

But yeah , but that's kind of that thing where you have to be someone who understands that it's better to nurture people when they make a mistake , lift people up when they're having a problem and walk them through and get them to the right frame of mind , to then have the conversation of how we might be able to do this a little bit differently in the future ,

because here's why this didn't work . That's the part of my job I love when I do have an opportunity to take a moment and say how do we do this better . How can I help you figure out how we can do this better ? That's how people learn and you know how I noticed . Someone was like , oh , you're so good at your job ?

Yeah , because I haven't forgotten what it feels like to be humiliated by people doing exactly what you guys just said Testing my ass and shit . You know what I mean . Help them to help you Exactly , charlie .

So you say to them you know you're doing a good job , but you didn't make a mistake on this , so let's fix it so that for the next time you know how to do it okay , but I don't understand the poop part wait I don't give them the good , you give them the shit and then you end with the good oh , we could come up with a better .

First of all , cynthia already knows she made a mistake , right , because we're in this meeting now in front of people , right , and all you've done is exerted your pathetic power , right ? Pathetic power as a leader , right ? Instead , I always like to turn up first of all . Why do we need to have a meeting ? We all know Cynthia made a mistake .

We all know Cynthia knows we don't need to now convene the entire office to now humiliate her even more . What is the purpose of that ? And one of my clients consistently will say I just want to make sure everybody knows that they cannot make the mistake again . I'm like you think that's what you teach in here .

So , unless you want to keep them , you should go in and apologize . And all my clients will be like I'm like , okay , I'm just giving you my best advice . I'm just telling you what you just did was wrong . Charlie just said it's to make others feel like shit to pump your own nuts up . It's evil . Yes , behavior . It's the way Charlie says things .

You know what I'm saying it's like I love him , I love this . But yeah , that's the part of the job that I think as much as I don't love what I do , like when I have to take my actual clients and sit them down and say , in a very kind way , that didn't work , that's , and now we need to fix it . And here's how I think you need to fix it .

But most people learn not from humiliation I don't know anybody who works from being humiliated , or but I do think there's a difference , right , but I do think there's a difference , right . So if Cynthia makes a mistake and we work through that mistake and then the mistake happens again , now we're talking about carelessness , right .

So that's our second time we sit down and try to have a conversation and try to come at it from a different place . Okay , charlie is now saying assholes need to be called out . That's my job . Okay , I don't really handle like . I don't care about be called up . That's my job .

Okay , I don't really handle like I don't care what the money part , that's my job . Um , and here's the thing Some people can handle it and some people cannot . And then I'm like okay , because you already paid me for the month , so I'm happy to leave , like okay , I get paid up front .

Uh , but nine times out of 10 , whenever I'm hired , people hire me to get rid of other people or to fix something . It's usually them that needs to be fixed , not anything in the company ? No , it really is , I believe it . Okay .

Now I'm not going to be as productive because I'm sitting here fuming because you just talk to me like I'm an idiot .

It's not going to make you better or fix anything . You know what I mean . But that's not what's going on in their head and this is what I try to explain to the team usually is from his point of view .

He is taking care of 6,500 people across the country and in London and he needs to make sure they get paid and this just messed up the next payroll and he's angry . His wife is divorcing him and he hasn't gotten another TV show , whatever . It is like .

He's got all his own shit and he's now taking it all out on us because he thinks that it's okay to be an asshole to us . It's like when you go out on a date and you you know your first date and you realize the date turns around and treats the waiter like a piece of shit .

It's the same dynamic that's happening is they're not thinking that people are equal or deserving of respect because they feel like they are better than that person , and that person is there to service them .

He was going to ask her on the plane to marry him , but then she was just berating him because she didn't know it was him and just treating him like total crap and he goes , you know what ? Took the sign . She's like oh my God , honey , no , honey , no , we're done . I had no idea you treated people this way . Nope , we're done .

If you do , it's like the corner of somebody's camera because they're trying to hide . Do you know what I mean ? Like okay , charlie said good man , that's right , all right , I'm going like okay , charlie said good man , that's right , all right . I'm gonna go on to my next subject . Do you have any more skits with her ?

I'm just mad , because last time he wasted our time with that other one . That was also a skit what ?

It's so amazing , because it's hard to get people on linkedin and you know what . I think we're at 622 followers . I know , I , I know it's not a lot to other people , to me it's like everything Anyways . So somebody had posted . We don't need to read the whole thing , I'll just tell you the gist of it .

They're going in for interview , they're interviewing for a job and they've gone into a series of interviews , so let's say , three or four interviews for a job and they're not offered the job . Somebody else was offered the job . They were told what ? Sorry , rick , we appreciate you coming in , but you didn't get the job .

Then a couple of weeks goes by and clearly the first candidate decided not to take the job , and so they come back to you , rick , and they say Rick , we want you , we'd love to offer you the position at the same amount we talked about before , with all the benefits .

So the question is , are you going to say yes to the job , knowing that you're their second choice and , more importantly , do you ask for more money ? That's what that whole thing was . Look at , cynthia . I've been in this position before , so it's interesting .

They already know all the systems and they're familiar with this and that , so we don't really have to train them . So I'm sorry , blah blah , and I'm like I got all excited , told everybody I got a job , I got a job , and now I look like an idiot .

The other one was I didn't really officially have , but they're like oh yeah , it's in the bag , it's in the bag , you're definitely gonna get this job . And then they're the same thing . Somebody else came along and they knew everything already . Blah blah , blah , and I'm like that one ticked me off . That's what made me leave that job . So oh no , bye-bye .

Y'all treat me like crap .

But all the comments most people were saying like , yeah , they'd go back in and be like I'm happy to reconsider this now that it's two months later , two weeks later or whatever it is but I think now I need another five thousand dollars and I was like , really , really , I don't know if I would do cynthia , would you do that ?

I'd ask for more money , oh yeah charlie just said I've signed contracts and then got the call we're gonna go in a different car . Oh , but a contract . Can't you sue them ?

So I guess that's different . I'm sure Charlie's talking about a contract screen . You know , doing a . That's a different ball game and that really sucks . Yeah , yeah , yeah , I don't know , I don't .

I've never been good at I'm really good at getting the job that I want or whatever when I was getting salary , but I was always horrible about getting a raise for myself . So I always advocate for even now I advocate for all the cause . That's the most important commodity any business owner has , it's people . I don't care what your people do .

And a lot of people are confused by that . They think the thing that they make is the commodity or the thing that they and I'm like right , but who makes the thing ? I had one client's like I should do this all by myself . I'm like really Well , then you can solve all your problems . Get rid of your 150 people that you have working for you .

Like he really thought that was the answer , like they should know . Oh , the other thing I hate one of my clients always says it's just gonna take five minutes carmen . All you have to do is call it five . Nothing takes motherfucking five minutes , nothing that's another thing .

I gotta do this no , I'm not a robot , I'm not a machine do you tell him that ?

You know , I'm in that weird situation where and I think most people don't do what they love I , I don't know . Cynthia , do you do what you love ? If it were up to you , you'd be creating cards , right , you'd be . I don't know what would you be doing if you weren't doing what you're doing now Because you have to .

I'd be in any way , shape or form . I'd be producing them , I'd be in them , I'd be writing them , whatever . Blah , blah , blah . I'd be all over it . I love this town . I love it . I'd be on stage . Actually , if I could do whatever I want to do , I would want to be on stage like theater . That would be my real love All right , Charlie , Love you too .

Now , one of my favorite acting coaches of all time , howard Fine , who I think is amazing , and everyone should read his book , even if you're not an actor , because it talks about a lot of life skills . That's all I'll say on that . He would disagree with what I'm about to say .

But from my perspective , as a performer who danced and performed as a kid and loved being on stage , the difference is simply this there's a live audience and it's one take .

So you rehearse , you rehearse , you rehearse , you learn the material , you do the background , you understand the character , you really work with it , and then you go out and you do the show and whatever happens a cell phone ring , somebody screams or whatever , a light isn't working or a sound goes you have to go with it , you have to be on it .

You know what I mean .

Film acting and television acting has to do with cameras . There's lots of retakes , so the next time you're watching a movie or watching television or even a commercial , you can see the different angles that a camera has to , that you can see it on screen , all the different angles , right ? Those actors have to do those scenes over and over again .

And let me tell you the reason why . I will always say that I'm a performer and I have a hard time saying I'm an actor . I am an actor but I don't like doing 1 million retakes over and over again for different cameras .

So that doesn't bother me as much , because you do film a scene at a time , right . So you'll film a moment of us having dinner together and having a conversation . The problem is we're going to have that conversation at least three times , because three times they're going to have to do one overall shot of all three of us talking .

Then they're going to have to do a close up of Cynthia . So again , then , rick , they have to do different camera shots and then they edit all that together . Now , it's magical when you see it all done , and I actually love being on set , but I am . I really I had to come to Jesus moment . I did .

I had to come to it because I had to realize for myself I do not love this part . I don't love this part Now , big time . Actors don't sit there and do the dinner scene with everybody . They have a stand in , right .

So if Brad Pitt is doing a part or whatever , or Viola Davis is at the dinner table with the three of us , she's not going to sit while they're doing my shot , your shot , rick's shot , whatever They'll have a stand in , and it's a different bogus . She can come in and do her own performance for her scene and whatever they need .

Have a stand-in , and it's a different bogus . She can come in and do her own performance for her scene and whatever they need . But then they bring somebody else . That's a little bit different , because that's more about coming in and doing that one moment . So I know a lot of theater .

A lot of actors will say that they think theater is like this higher echelon . I don't believe that's true , but I actually think for me , film and television acting is so much harder and I revere like really revere people first of all who do both , but also people who are just stage actors . Like theater is amazing , I just love it .

It's not even if you suck , I mean if you're coming to a certain play , yeah , I mean , yeah , I could just suck whatever .

But also sometimes the audience just , you know they're not gonna laugh or clap , or you know , like , I mean one of the plays I did I'll never forget like , like , like we had night after night after night where people were laughing at the jokes and whatever , and I none of the parts I did were funny , none of the parts .

I played five different characters , like we all had many characters and they were . Some of them were like two lines here , three lines there , but then I had a huge monologue at the end and my whole thing was really my characters were all very serious in different ways , right , cause I played like a housekeeper .

I played , you know , like I played really hard people who are having a tough time in life , but the other people were getting laughs and they're so funny and they just had these great one lines , whatever . And one night , like the audience , cause you could hear it backstage , cause you're waiting to go on You're like , is anybody out there , remember ?

Like you'd peek through the thing to see because there'd be no , like you would hear nothing , and you're like , and that does a psychological thing . And then what happened was I came out and I said something . They were like because it wasn't supposed to be funny .

I mean , you know what , I just got to chill because I remembered that , like it was the weirdest thing . So you just but it is that love of what ? Because you don't know what the audience is going to do .

And , more importantly , your partners , like we had , we had , I think , like 10 people on this in this play called Nickel and Dimed and people could be in a bad mood , fighting with the husband , whatever , you know what I mean Like you bring all that and then you got to try to turn that off and you know , I remember somebody .

Like you know you forget your wig or something , or I had . So one of the things I had to do at the end and this happened the last performance of the entire show , the last performance . So I ended the whole show with a monologue that was pretty intense and I had to wear a .

I wore a it's like black , like a gum thing , so that it looks like didn't have a tooth okay it's like a , it's a black thing , it's like gum or something . I don't know what it is . I forget what , what it's called , but it's a black thing . So it looks like you're missing a tooth or whatever . And that thing was all over and it messes with you .

And I remember finishing the play and we got a standing ovation . We all whatever it was the last play all of our friends were there . It was great . And I remember going up to the director , richard Kiriwoy , and I was like I can't believe I fucked up . He's like what are you talking about ? And I was like my tooth thing was all over .

He's like Carmen , you were fine , don't worry . But I remember being like that's how I closed the entire play , the show Like I didn't fuck it up . But you just never know what's going to happen . I love this town . I really do .

So they made a new one and they said it was really bad , whatever . So I , so I was like , oh , they said it was bad Garbage . Almost everybody said it was garbage , but anyway . So I got nostalgic because I remember the first one . I remember that was really great .

But then I also remember how sad it was because he got killed by accident , he got killed right .

But then also they were like but there were other scenes where they just used to stand in and it was really dark so you couldn't really see his face or had him running from behind . You couldn't see from behind . So I was like you got to do what you got to do , but it was very interesting .

You're not going to fly to Boston and film a scene of my neighborhood where I grew up and bring the whole cast out there and then bring them , you know , up to Vermont , because that's where I went to school . So that's going to be the next part of the film we're going to do . And then , oh , let's go back to California , Cause that .

Oh , so that's going to be the next part of the film we're going to do . And then , oh , let's go back to California , Cause that . Oh , but wait , now we have to do the ending of the film when she goes back to the funeral . So bring them all back to Boston . So what you do is you film every single scene you have to do while you're in Boston .

You do it then and then and that's how , that's how you , you figure that whole thing out , and it's fascinating . Let me tell you the thing about if you guys can ever go on set to a movie that's in your neighborhood . It's hard , you can't really go on set , but if you can ever play like an extra whatever , I would encourage everyone to do it .

It's a great experience because it gives you a different appreciation of film . It's such a collaborative art form and the irony is you'll even start to appreciate when movies suck because you'll realize oh okay , not a lot of connection with the crew , you know what I mean .

You can just start I'm not saying all that's true but you can start to understand that it's not just one person .

the pieces from wherever they need to take it , and then the editor , who is the most , I think , important person in the film . Sorry , directors , yeah they can make it great .

. Also , music . I've decided if you ain't got good music , yeah , I think it was John Williams . You guys know who John Williams is . Of course you do John Williams . Of course you do Every single movie that Steven Spielberg has ever done Star Wars , he's , I think he's .

John Williams has done every of one of those scores , indiana Jones , all of that , all the good ones , like all that music , creating that music for film . It's just such . Try to watch a movie without music . Yeah , no , interesting , different feeling .

I know I just watched the Deliverance on Netflix because it's like number one . A lot of people talk about it what's the ? Deliverance it's like the black version of the Exorcist it's supposedly based on a true story . Supposedly yeah , yeah , but Glenn Close was in it and she did her thing . At her age I believed she was who she was . I was like wow .

Huh , that's a good movie . Oh , the Silence of the Lambs , that's not horror , right . It's psychological thriller , right , kind of horror .

And then we went to the movie and before anything was going to happen , she told me so I already knew , so I like watched it and it was like , oh , okay okay , so it didn't bother you as much , because you know it bothered me , but I was because it's creepy , but it didn't bother me in the way . I would have never , I would have left right at the .

But it's very gruesome because if they don't learn the whole situation , their head gets cut off or they blow up or something very gruesome happens to them , but don't they have to also self-mutilate sometimes ?

The big movie was friday the 13th oh yeah and I was like , yeah , no , I'm see that I'm not going to see it . And I didn't . I've never seen it and I know now that's like the joke of a movie to watch because it's so cheesy .

But I'm one of those people that I have nightmares if I see something bad or feel something bad , and so I choose not to consume that stuff . And it's not because I don't think I'm overly sensitive , I just think it just is a deep , dark thing that I don't want to deal with .

That night I had a nightmare that my dad was a vampire trying to kill me , and my mother and I never forgot it ? No , I think it was more of a traditional one . I can't remember exactly , but no .

Any money that we make , which is like $1 or $2 for mugs and hats and t-shirts just goes right back into the show , paying for software , paying for all the little things that we're doing to try to get the show going . So we'd appreciate that . So we'll see you all next week and thank you and remember , it really is all about the joy . Bye everyone .

Good night , thanks for stopping by . All about the joy . Be better and stay beautiful folks , have a sweet day .