¶ Weekly Joyful Updates and Conversations
Hi everyone , Welcome to All About the Joy . Cynthia and Rick are in the house .
It's going to be a very intimate evening .
It's just the three of us fiveys , so we're going to talk about a few subjects . I just want to finish up one little thing that we were talking about before Rick joined us in the green .
I was going to say the greenhouse , the green room , and just say this for a moment um , we were talking about the show 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 , lone star , and where did we finish with that ? Cynthia ?
I think we were talking about grace and her husband there's two different ones yeah , so there's 9-1-1 , which is all in los angeles , right , and guess where the other one is , which ? Is 9-1-1 , lone Star , texas , and it takes place in Austin , because even I noticed some places in there . But , cynthia , I know what I asked you . Which one did you like more ?
Oh , the original , which is 9-1-1 . Yeah , the LA one yeah . Yeah , look , I didn't mind watching the rest of 911 Lone Star , but it wasn't as easily for me to digest is all I'm going to say .
So I did it because you forced me to .
Now , Rick , how are you Doing good , doing good . How's everything ? So , rick , I sent you a demo draft of our store . So it's not up yet , it's not live , but we always tested the products before we give them out to everyone , so hopefully in the next couple of weeks we will get to you . Hi Adam , how are you Okay ?
First on our agenda , what was the most joyous thing that happened to you this week ? Cynthia , you go first .
I already know what you're going to say . I think I think , I think .
So everybody knows that I got the job .
So on Tuesday I actually sent out an email to all the doctors and all the employees , everybody , so you know , kind of letting them know and everything like that . And what shocked me and actually felt really good was the first person to come up to me and actually give me a hug and congratulate me and everything is a doctor who everyone like is scared of .
And yeah , because , like , her attitude can change with the blink of oh . Yeah , because her attitude can change with the blink of an eye , oh , she's a great doctor .
I love those kind of people .
She's a great doctor , but she was the first one to come and give me a hug and congratulate me and everything and that felt great .
That's awesome .
That's really awesome . How did everyone else take it ? They must have been bored . Oh , everyone's devastated Because you did everything , everything , and you've been there .
how long , oh eight and a half years Wow , that's a long time .
For seven of those years , she's been hating every minute of it , because ain't that the truth for all of us , right ? Like the first time we're like oh my God , new job , new job .
Got a raise . Yeah , I've been through four managers , like doctors leaving , some coming back , new doctors coming in , definitely new employees .
Yeah , well , that's why they're bumming , because you did everything and you were like the steady person throughout all of it . You know what I mean ?
We're going to miss you so bad why ? Because we're going to have to work so much harder now . Oh not because you miss me .
Like now we have to do some work .
Well , again , congratulations . I'm really proud of you and I read your resignation letter . I'm just going to say this the fact that you didn't ask me to edit or to consider it or whatever . I was like she is so on point . Usually she'll be like Carmen . Before I send this , can you look it over for me ? I'll give her like whatever advice I can .
But it was so well done , perfect in every single way , and I was like , oh , this cause she on point . She knows .
I got to send you the one I sent to all the doctors and some of them actually started crying when they were reading it . Yeah , that's awesome .
Oh great , He'll be in the room and tan baby Rick , what about you ? How was your week and what's something that gave you joy ?
uh , well , one thing my son sent me a text and I saw there was an attachment . I was like , hmm , what's this ? And he got his um official temporary license to do the physical therapy now . So he can literally do it now part-time , part time for now , okay .
But he's a doctor .
Right , but he still has to go through licenses and all this stuff . Oh okay , so it's good until September . He takes the test in July . He's smart , I know he's going to pass , so that's really cool .
Yay , I am so glad what .
The other thing , too , was since he's here , and I'm not saying it just because he's here I really love listening to you and mario here to your uh private lounge . It was fun , it was good . I even watched school days . Is that the movie y'all talking about ?
I was like oh , that is quite a movie I was gonna ask about the mario thing , um , but what else are you saying ?
I'm sorry yeah , yeah , no , I just I meant you guys , you know how I am when you mention a movie , I automatically going to see if I can find it and watch it . And so I saw that movie and I was like oh wow , yikes , yeah , there's some interesting parts in this movie .
Absolutely but remember it's . How old is it ? I mean .
Yeah , for the time . Yeah , like a lot of stuff I saw there , absolutely not .
No , but yeah , it was interesting , it was thought-provoking , so yeah , yeah , I was surprised that that was his number three , but I understand why too . You know what I mean . I think it was his number three , right , I forgot , I can't remember now . I can't remember now . I think it was his number three .
I'm surprised because his favorite movie was the Color Purple and I've never heard anyone else but me . I was kind of mad about it too , like that's my move , like you don't . Yeah , so it was . It was really well done , um , and it was fun , and I , I will say this and I I'm not surprised by this , but I am .
So I don't have a lot of uh subscribers on youtube , I don't , but his video , um , the live , uh , I mean the pod , what am I calling it ? The private lounge . It'd be great if I knew my own stuff , but whatever the private lounge with mario is the most played and it was like within I don't know five days or something . Wow , yeah , it was really weird .
I'm not weird , but I , I , you just never know what people want to watch and he's just so charming and lovely . But the podcast is like if my top was Juliana before , that was still the top one . Mario's like up here . Wow , he either has a huge following I don't know about . I was like , okay , we're going to have Mario part two , three , five .
So Mario's booked for the next few months , so I'm going to do a weekly private lounge with Mario .
Only we are going to do a second one . He wanted me to do a second one with him so we could talk about some other stuff . So we had already decided we're going to do it . Second one with him so we could talk about some other stuff . Uh , so we we had already decided we're gonna do it , but we're gonna do it a little bit , but it was .
It was so well done . I was really psyched , um , wow , okay , cool . No , you didn't tell us about how your week was at work or life oh , work wasn't too too bad .
Thankfully shorter work week because I was off on monday , thank god um yeah , that's , it's those little things , man . It really is . Yeah , I was thinking it was going to be crazy busy on Tuesday because I'm like I got to deal with whatever Friday , saturday , sunday , monday and Tuesday morning . But no , it wasn't bad at all .
I was shocked , but yeah , it's been pretty chill . I'm like thank you God .
Well , you just jinxed it break . You just said it's been pretty chill . Tomorrow will be a day .
It's the last day . I don't care . It's the last day of the week . Hit me , hit me baby one more time .
Right . So there's really kind of two things that happened this week that were great . One of them I put in the email is so I have a trademark and people know that it had already been okayed , but you have to get the official certification .
So it's not a big deal , but to me it just makes me feel so official to have All About the Joy , be trademarked and just fun . The other thing is the store . I've been working with the logos and just trying to set them up and it's not that it's that difficult . It's difficult for me Cause I I come home , if I'm lucky , by five .
Well , thursdays I try to come home by like five , 30 , but usually I'm out till six . Whatever , you know what I mean . Like it's just , and especially cause we have this drama going on , it's really hard for me to then edit and da , da , da and da , da , da and then , on top of it , be a quote unquote designer for for a store .
You know what I mean , so I'm excited about that . I also and no one needs to go to the website yet Cause it's not finished , but I did change the website . All of your pictures are up there on the front pages . I'm also going to set up the bios for everyone .
That's next on the page , and then I'm going to set up the store and then we'll force everyone to buy products and go to the website . That will be our next push . Just kidding . I'm not going to push anyone to do anything , but I just think it looks better and I don't know . We'll just see how it goes . So I'm excited about those things , you know .
That's really cool .
Yeah , okay , one of the other questions I had , which was kind of random because it happened to me this week Did someone break your heart this week ? Was there something positive that came from this experience ? Go ahead , cindy , I won't break my heart . Well , you don't know , I'm sure Rick does .
Well , look at , break your heart may be the wrong wording , I didn't know how else to say it like I'm so disappointed in something that happened this week with someone and it broke my heart because I had so much faith in them . So that's what I mean . I don't mean break your heart . Like you know , some romantic relationship unbreak my heart .
What I mean .
I don't mean break your heart like some romantic relationship Unbreak my heart , oh , whitney Houston , no .
Unbreak my heart .
No . You don't know this , she may not be the other one oh Toni .
Braxton .
¶ Celebrity Concert Etiquette and Criticism
I was about to fight you I was like how do you not know ?
I know , I know Mara's going to come in and yell at me . You guys are about to yell at me , not a big fan .
Oh , I am , Believe it or not .
I don't believe any . Did she sing some spiritual song ?
No , I just love her voice . She just does something to me .
So you know when I started not liking her .
Uh-oh , did she do something you didn't like ?
No , I just did that whole cheesy reality show . I was like , okay , no , oh , I didn't see that . Yeah , did you see that Cynthia ? No , yeah , I don't know . She has a great voice but so does an Anita Baker . Right , fly voice , but then fly voice .
But then once I hear about what she does at the concerts , and you know , I don't know , I lose respect for people pretty easily , like like madonna not showing up at a concert at eight o'clock and showing up at 12 instead at 12 pm . and you've heard that right I didn't know she's oh right in boston , right , yes , she was three hours late , wow .
And here's the thing it wasn't one time , it's not like oh my god , we're so sorry , it's a consistent thing and another thing that she did in the middle of the concert .
She actually stopped the concert because I guess people were smoking in the arena oh , madonna she stopped the concert and got on the mic and was like you guys need to stop smoking . It's messing with my vocal cords . Yeah , like scolding people Like you are in an arena to perform . You really think these people are going to not smoke .
Well , it's also like there might be a different way to say it , or I don't know like she was like scolding them , yeah , but . But I mean , I look at , I don't want to go to a concert with people smoking , hence why I don't like . I don't like crowds , I don't like people smoking . I hate the smell of pot , you know what I mean .
Like , whatever , it's v special seating , but it's true because you don't have to be in the mix .
It's true , vip Honey again , tom Kibuji , I am okay with that , I'm good , I just choose not to go . But it's tone and when it's all about you , right , it's selfish . And , yeah , people are paying . If it was a free concert , do what you want , scream , screaming anybody you want , they can walk away , no big deal .
But if people paying hundreds of dollars you know what I mean shoot charlie , oh , my man , charlie , backstage , or no way . See , charlie is with me , he is so with me , I agree% .
I told you one of my favorite concerts and I'm not in love with the Police or Sting , I know Sting's albums , but was going to his concert and being backstage because we were given tickets from somebody's boss in the line of work that we do and it was pretty incredible .
And it was pretty incredible Actually , I don't know why I'm hiding his name , it's Dustin Hoffman , is very good friends . So one of my friends worked with him and she called me like that day . It was like what are you doing tonight ? I'm like I'm free , why you want to go have dinner ? She's like nope , be ready , I'm going to pick you up in an hour .
And I was like where are we going ? So it was kind of cool , but it was cooler because I could enjoy it and not have anxiety , you know . But Madonna got to have everybody who is making someone pay for something and that much money for you to sing your songs . I don't think I would take that from anyone .
Like you know , I think Aretha Franklin was a god . You know Whitney Houston was a god . Whitney Houston was a god . George Michael could get away with it for sure , but I'd be okay . Or Prince Prince could probably yell and scream at me . I'd be like , oh my god , thank you , I appreciate it .
You should probably join in , I know .
Oh , frank , at the Greek Theater . Wait , 10th row center . I need backstage . Still , charlie , there's still too many around me . I'm just messing with you . What else are we talking about ? Wait a second .
Hey , hey .
How are you ?
Mario .
I am fantastic . I'm just trying to get my screen together so I can see you guys , because I can't see anything . There you go Hi .
Hey .
The famous Mario Dawson .
Oh , stop it .
Did you hear what I just said earlier ?
I heard .
The podcast is unbelievable . I don't know what you did . You must have lots of family .
You told them all you said if you don't watch this thing .
You may not be invited to the family barbecue . I just said you know . Welcome to the cookout . Come on through .
Rick , what did you just say , babe ?
I said he told everybody in his family if you don't watch this thing , nobody's invited to the family barbecue .
Nope , yeah . And now welcome to the cookout . You can't have no ribs . That's the trick , that's it , you cannot come to the cookout .
That's awesome . I also want to give Mario some other credit . So Mario had suggested weeks ago that we should start with talking about what's one of our joyful things that happened that week or whatever , and so now , after going through my to-do list , I was like , oh yeah , right , right , right . I got to ask everybody it's a good idea .
But it's a good way to start the show , because it's called All About the Joy , so the first thing you want to start to talk about is joy , and then you can go into everything else , whatever , it doesn't matter .
Yeah , no . So see , that's a good piece of criticism , and I just want to say this as well it's how you give criticism or advice , it's that tone that matters .
Yeah .
And , like I said before , if I don't have respect for you and I don't care who you is and you have a bad tone , it's you know what I mean .
Like that to me is all in the delivery , for sure .
For sure . But it's a good point because I'll tell you
¶ Podcast Branding and Family Relationships
right now . I saw , I clicked the video . I was like , okay , the title sounds interesting , I'm listening , I'm listening , I'm going to give you another minute . The topic wasn't discussed . Still , I was like , okay , bye .
Right . I was like okay , bye , right , so it draws you in , and once you're in , then they'll say okay , what else are you talking about ?
Well , you know what the problem is too . I mean , this is interesting because I was speaking to a producer from another podcast or whatever , who has like thousands , like 45,000 listeners . That's like unbelievable .
Wow .
Because I wanted his uh , his advice . You know right , and he listens to my show , which is good , which is good , but he was saying that you can talk about it being all about the joy , or if your podcast is about space or whatever , whatever he's like .
But what needs to happen is the show at some point needs to be branded so that when people come , they already know that's what they're , you know , coming to see . The other problem that he said is your show is about something good and , just like the news and just like anything else , people gravitate towards the drama of conflict and whatever .
And we don't really have that much conflict unless it's funny , between each other or whatever . We're not really fighting about politics or religion or sex or whatever he's like . It's going to be slow .
Unless you want to .
No , I'm not going to . No , I don't want to . I don't mind talking about relationships . There was a big to-do about penises a couple weeks ago with Ted . I'm just look at all of you are like whatever , what is this conversation going to be like if you're all doing that ? And also , I don't want it to be a show that kids can't listen to .
You know what I mean , and I don't mean children . Children I mean like my teenage goddaughters or something . So yeah , anyways , all right .
Wait , wait . What brought you joy this week ?
Well , not this week , but last week . You know , I was on vacation in Mexico , so I had a wonderful time that brought me tons and tons of joy . We stayed , we , we stayed . I'm sorry we stayed at this wonderful place in Cancun . It's called Pueblo Bonito , sunset Beach . They have four or five different resorts that they're all interconnected .
We did the all-inclusive . I know how Carmen feels about all-inclusive , but this one was pretty great .
Again , I can't help it .
It was a great , great vacation . We got to celebrate my daughter's 21st birthday while we were there . It was birthday , it was graduation , it was all the things you know . My anniversary is coming up what ? Into the 4th of July , so you know my wife , don't forget that .
Well , it's kind of hard to forget .
How can you ?
forget the 4th of July . Don't forget that . It's kind of hard to forget .
How can you forget the 4th of July ? You can never forget the 4th of .
July .
We just had a great time . Did you check the beds ? Real careful ? I did . I flipped my bed . I flipped the bed . We stripped the sheets .
I ripped through the closet with my you have to tell people what that's about .
That's so funny with my with my black light at rest .
My wife had me wiping down phones and wiping down the lamps and wiping down the doorknobs boy , I'm telling you , I was like I'm sorry I've traumatized so many people with the bed bug story , but it's good that you don't know .
Sorry , I'm going to tell you a secret . Well , it's not a secret because I'm going to put it out here in the public . My neighbor had bed bugs and she had the nerve to say that they came from me . And I've lived in my place for 15 years and I never had a bed bug in my life . And she's that I never had a big bug in my life .
Is she gonna blame it on me ? I was like you know what ?
Yeah , she got it .
And she hasn't done anything about it to like- .
The owner did . Yeah , the owner of the building had to . But yeah , what you're not gonna do is put that on me , so yeah , so she must have beaten them and gotten bit or something .
It's not something you just like . Oh , hey , I have bed bugs , You're going to have stuffage ? Okay , I'm sorry . Hey , too much bed bugs . Why are we being quiet ?
Is she ?
watching . Her wall is right next door , so I have to go out like that grab like she's listening .
She got the cup on the wall okay , okay , you must have heard the podcast and everything . And she's like , oh , I'm gonna blame it on him .
I heard the word bed bug . Let me see he gonna finally admit it well , I'm gonna get him today .
She's like you're gonna learn today , I , I'm going to get you today , today , today that's showbiz . My job was vacation . I heard the question about what made me sad .
I didn't say what made you sad . No wait , we haven't finished with Rick and Cynthia .
I was driving . I was just trying to jump in and get in .
Okay , they did not answer . Wait what , Rick ?
He's already here , might as well roll with it .
What we've got .
I don't want to be rude it wasn't a question .
It wasn't what broke your heart this week .
What broke my heart .
What disappointed you ?
My father did very much so . It's always drama when you have families come together for special occasions and they don't act right . It was that We've always had an up and down relationship , but he really disappointed me while he was here . I'm not going to go into what he did . He knows what he did and it was you know , it affected my whole family .
But we moved on . We're good , god is good .
So what did you ? Was there anything out of ? I mean , you seem okay with it , but was there something ?
No , I'm not okay with it , but I'm going to be . You have to keep moving forward because you can't live in somebody else's trauma . His trauma is not my trauma and you can't . I'm not going to allow anyone to pour their trauma on me and affect my life the way he has in the past . So you know , god bless him .
I understand 100% and the hardest thing is to realize that just because people are your family or biologically related to you , or whatever terminology you need to use to justify it , does not mean people have the right to treat you a certain way , and it's really hard for a lot of people to walk away from family and I think it was the best thing I ever did .
Yeah , and I love my dad . But we've always had this rollercoaster of a relationship since I was a kid and I always want to make sure that I do everything right by my parents , no matter what . And , Rick , you know the Bible says honor thy father and thy mother that thou may be long upon the land . Thus saith the Lord .
So I was raised in that , I was indoctrinated with that to honor my parents . So I always do my best to do that . I'm very close to my mom and my dad and , like I said , we have an up and down relationship . I brought him here , wanted to make sure he was here for my daughter's graduation . Things did not go the way we expected , but that's okay .
But but that's all right , so that was my sad part well , good for you for finding a way to deal with it yeah , for sure , everyone has to , because you can't make your someone else's trauma your trauma people do it all the time they try .
Yeah , yeah , and it's okay , we move forward . Yeah , gotta do .
My dad's passed , but there's nobody on this planet Earth that ever could get me as angry , riled up , emotional as my father Nobody .
Let me try . Let me try .
No , I'm just kidding , can't do it .
Sorry , it can't happen . Was there anything that disappointed you this week , but you found something positive out of it ? Or did anyone romantically disappoint you ? I'm just kidding .
Come on in the room it has to have broke your heart .
Everyone always thinks that means a romantic thing . I just mean anyone in person .
¶ Unexpected Requests for Money
I wasn't sure what I was going to say , but then we said the word romantic . It sparked a memory . This happened today . A woman . Oh God , what revealed this is from Periscope days .
This woman Now she didn't say it to me , but she said it to others who told it to me Because , you know , nobody can keep a secret this woman said God told her that I was going to be her husband and I'm like well , until God tells me you are delusional he didn't put me in that conference call . I didn't get that conference call .
Once in a while she'll hit me up . Pray for me , blah , blah , blah . Today I got to hope she ain't watching because she's going to hate me . Today she sent me a message . My landlord is going to kick me out tomorrow . Do you have any money so I don't get kicked out ? I'm like do I have the word bank on my forehead ? Who told you I had money ?
You're already her husband .
You are cleaved .
Playing alimony or something .
That was disappointing .
I guess you are cleaved If she's asking you for money now , come on .
That's weird . I wonder why people think it's okay to do that . I had that happen with a couple of friends friends from school who logged on to Facebook , added me as their friend or whatever , and I was like , oh , we went to school together , whatever , and then like the next day , an email .
And this happened not just once or twice , it happened like three times . Cynthia , I'll tell you who they are later . Um , it's that weird thing where they they just look at whether you have money or not . I would never not have spoken to someone for like 20 years or 10 in my case , because I'm not that old , no , I'm just kidding , but like 20 .
One of them was like 30 years ago , so like high school or whatever , and ask me for money . I guess you'd have . You're probably in a very tough place and so you're asking everyone . But I don't know . I've never been in that kind of position and even when I was a kid and homeless I would never ask anybody for money or help .
I guess I would take help , but I'm not a kid , we're adults . There has to be a relationship . Did you send out the money ?
Again , I don't got the word bank on my forehead , no , oh . And then another person this was today too . On Venmo I got a message saying a request for money because he can't get to work today or tomorrow and this gets money . I don't know if it's for gas or whatever . And I did send him money twice , actually Not big amounts , small .
Is this someone you know Barely ? But then the last time , the first time I was like this is a gift because your kids are going to be hungry . And I feel bad . Second time he says I'm going to pay you back . Well , he never paid me back . Now he sent me a Venmo request for money .
I was like he never even paid me back for the first time .
Yeah , I almost said what I was thinking it might be a scammer yeah , hey , kevin , hi Kevin .
I almost said it might be a scammer yeah .
Hey Kevin , hi Kevin , hey Melanie I almost said it might be a scammer . Yeah , but I'm going to tell you we have a friend who just reached out to us and said hey , I'm doing this , can you send me some money Just randomly out of the blue . And I said well , not right now because I have other things going on .
My family , you know , this is my daughter's year for school . Gary graduated as we just started school Things . You know , other issues no , I can't do it . Then they came back again Can you do ? You think you can ? I was like , no , I can't really do it . Then you come back a third time .
I said I'll tell you what you send me , your Zelle information , and when I have it , you'll get it .
You guys are much nicer than I am no , no , they're still waiting . No , no , I know , Kevin just said can I get a $5 ?
$5 .
Let me read what Melanie just said as well Makes me glad that I wasn't popular in school . I wasn't popular in school at all because I was never really there , but I was not in any group so much .
But I don't know , it's that people make an assumption about you after they haven't seen you in high school for 20 , 30 years , because they've looked at whatever images are on social media or whatever , or whatever they think they've decided . And yeah , I mean that's why it was so random .
But , mario , the reason why I said you're so much nicer than I am is , well , you and I kind of already talked about this .
I'm just like no , I don't give a reason like no I mean , I can , I can be a straight shooter , but you know , I try to lead with grace first , but then if you can't catch a clue , then I just leave you on read , you know , and then you just wait for those three dots .
Right , but what's ?
the three dots .
Huh .
Is that an iPhone thing ?
Well , no , it's just any phone now . Anytime someone's typing , there'll just be three dots and you're still waiting for them to reply and you just never reply . Yeah , I know , did you guys get ?
that , cynthia ? Yeah , they're typing , but you can't see what they wrote yet . But you can tell they're typing something because it goes oh like on Instagram .
I don't get that on my Samsung , but .
I do .
Instagram yeah .
No , I get it on my Samsung too .
Oh , I don't know . Oh , is that the chat box thing or chat oh ?
I don't use it . I still use it .
The regular way . That's why , okay , somebody saw my phone the other day at work , somebody was my boss's wife and like , when I have my phone and my text messages coming it's really big . Like I don't even mess with the regular . I always make everything really loud and people like that's what old people do .
I'm like I don't care , I can read it easily , no problem . But she was laughing . She's like carmen , what is wrong with you ?
you're like an old lady old lady , call me anything , my life .
You're like an old lady . What was your old lady ? Call me anything you want , my life is- .
You've got the bougie old lady now .
I do . It's really big . That's funny . Yeah , look , I think it's great that you lead with grace and I try to , but I also think sometimes for me anyway in my past times of explaining too much , I end up then still getting a request again or an even bigger , sadder story and they don't get the point .
And to me it's a little classless to just see someone again for the first time in years and then be like in the next breath I'm really bad . Can you send me money ? This person needed bail money and was asking , I guess , everyone and asking everyone to give them 500 bucks .
Do you know who it is ? Is she ?
laughing at you or is she laughing at me Cause I'm confused ? I laughing at me because I'm confused .
I don't know why I'm thinking of that song . What have you done for me lately ?
oh my god yeah , and I was like that's not going to make me feel sorry for you at all , because I haven't talked to you in years and I don't know what you did , but I'm afraid for you because this
¶ Issues With Older Coworkers and Technology
will be our last .
The fact that they told you that it was for bail money . I would have responded like see you on Monday . Oh no , it's a long weekend . See you Tuesday . The first time I got to see it .
I didn't even see it . You know what I mean . Like I wasn't even using anything on time . It was on Facebook and your just weren't connected , you know , to your messenger phone or whatever , like my . I don't get Facebook messages on my phone Cause I still have it disconnected , but when I go onto Facebook I can see . You know what I mean .
I just made it unread and left it Cause I was like , and then , like you know , like a day later they were like this is what it's for bail money . I was like wrong you know I'm in the hospital , you'd help maybe give it a breath .
She's been there with the wrong story . That was the wrong story story . It's true . That was wrong for a 20-minute sentence . You are SOL , you will keep waiting . If you wait , no , me no , it won't happen .
So , that's kind of weird , but true anyways . Wait , cynthia , you didn't answer . Wait , did Rick finish ? I feel like he didn't . No , that's pretty much it , okay , cool , all right , go ahead , cynthia . Well .
I was a little disappointed with one of my co-workers , um , the older woman that works at the front with me . Like she , yesterday I came home . I was so upset because I literally dealt with everything yesterday on my own because she decided that was the day she was going to clean her desk and get rid of all her old papers .
Get you know , do some ordering of supplies . Oh yeah , the whole day did she ?
did she say anything when you , when you told her that you were moving on and getting a ?
job . She's sad about it because she's one of the ones who's going to have to do some work now . Yeah .
I know .
She's also much older . Yeah , she is .
You know what this is ? That's the baby .
I need violin .
I almost said , I would have got homesick .
I would have got homesick . I was close , I really wanted to it's so crazy Wow .
I would have .
I'm having issues with people of an older generation , you know , like the what's that generation , what's ?
the baby boomers .
Yeah , I'm having some issues and not happy about it , but like that's why I said that she's older , cause I , okay , I called Juliana the other day . We had a Juliana is my God daughter , for those who don't know and she's 15 . And I called her the other day and asked her , like okay , what does she think as an older , you know , gen X person ?
Does she think I may or may not be doing ? That may not be working when I talk to someone of Gen Z generation ? You know , cause I was trying to see maybe there's something generational . And she was so cute in her answer Cause she was like you know , maybe , and she gave me like this list , and then she was like you know what , I don't know .
I love this one . You know what I don't know ?
I love this you know what I mean . So it was really cool .
It was fun um he said , these kids are built different .
I don't know oh , she needs to retire , then you know what I'm trying not to be old enough to retire ?
she definitely is , but it's sad that financially she can't in this economy yeah , yeah , sometimes it's just like that , but if you're going to continue to work , then you gotta be willing to do the work .
You understand what I'm saying like this person that I have that's older , just is not techie at all , and that's actually not a bad thing . If you then find other ways to let us know what's going on , you can call me .
If you don't know how to text , write or whatever , or you don't know how to answer email , you can call me , and if I don't answer , leave a message . I will get to it , I'll call you and we can go . So that's what , look . I don't expect everyone to know everything as times change .
I know at some point , and right now I can tell you there's some things I don't know . I just just said it right now . Oh , the chat box .
You know what I mean .
Because I don't so I think it naturally happens as we get older we get wiser , but then we're probably not in on the newest thing happening . So I'm trying not to be ageist , because we will be there all someday .
Yeah .
You do have to do is find a way to do your job If you're going to keep it . That's for everybody .
As my grandmother would say , just keep on living here . Just keep on living , cause you'll get there . You know we'll all get there . And again , my word of the day grace . And again my word of the day grace . We had to show a little grace to our old and to our elders . I know it's hard , because it's even for me , with my mom .
You know , my mama is of a particular woman , of a particular age , as she says , and she has problems with phones and apps . Now she really she's trying and like she's doing , but I can guarantee you next week she's like can you help me with this ? With this bank app , again , I got locked out . I'm like , okay , well , well , what do you ? What do you do ?
I'm like she's trying to do on like like her online bill pay . Now , that is , she's on the struggle bus so that she needs a permanent bus pass on the struggle bus .
She is struggling , but I have to ask her son , as a younger person , I'm going to always go , but then , what's even better , she has a granddaughter who's even more proficient but has less patience . These younger kids , they're so just tech savvy , they're just doing everything at 1,000 miles a minute . I said , dude , this X , y and Z is just not that simple .
You've got to slow down and give them some grace . But , like Cynthia said , you've got to do the work . Now You've got to be willing to do . You also said pick up a phone , answer an email , send a smoke signal , do something you can do that .
There are some that take advantage . So I'm very direct and ask what are your strengths ? And then put them in charge of all of that , while I do the rest . Well , look , here's the thing . I agree with you 100 percent and in theory that does work . But the reality is , when I asked the person that I work with , what can I do to help you ?
Cause I know you've been doing this work for this family for 25 years , right , that's the other thing . There's a loyalty thing with this family and about them but , she's in her late seventies and she gets insulted instead of you know like she's , I'm doing it , I can do it all good and it's like right yeah that's what I've gotten , and I'm like I am .
I'm trying to be helpful . You know I call you when when I need some advice on how to deal with blah , blah , blah and I do she's been with them for 25 years . You know , right , all of the information and skills that I don't know and don't have , right .
Let me ask you a question Does she have ? You know what FOMO is right , You're missing out .
So does she ? I know what that means .
Carmen , is your co-worker . Like , does she do that ? Like does she have fear of missing out on other things ? Like , if you're talking with the other younger group or whatever about tech stuff , does she ever chime in and say , oh well , how come I'm not included in this ?
I mean we work in different states and different things . So I'll give you an example of what happened . So I will get a call saying that I don't know . I'm going to come up with a scenario that makes sense but not give it away . Let's say the person is in charge of all of the maintenance people that fix one of our clients' properties .
They own property in another state , in New York , and , um , I don't have anything to do with that . I don't have anything to do with who the vendors are , who the . I just know how much money I need to dump in there . You know what I mean Get an okay from our boss to dump into that account so we can pay the payroll yeah .
Yeah , bookkeeper can pay the bills or whatever . Um , my whole job with this client is to be the interface between anyone and him . Right , so I will deal with the lawyers , the cpas , but my job is not maintenance of the property and the cars and the how you know the the house staff .
Okay , right right that's her job , because she's there , and that's what she's been doing for 25 years . So me getting a call from vendors or other staff members there because they're complaining yeah , that's probably been paid . The bookkeeper doesn't know who this vendor is , because they were just sent a bill with no reference . She's supposed to okay everything .
You know what I mean . She's supposed to say yes or no . She doesn't answer emails , she doesn't text people , she doesn't get back to people fast enough . So when somebody's calling me about not getting paid and they just mowed the lawn , I'm not trying to say that's beneath me , but it's certainly- .
But that's not your job .
It's not , but it's certainly but that's not your job , it's not . But it is my job to fix what's broken right . So if there's a situation where vendors or staff people are not getting paid and the bookkeeper's frustrated because she's not getting paid , that is my job . So I called her directly , right ?
I called her directly and I tell her I'm getting all these and that's where she gets offended . So I don't know if it's a fear of missing out . I I say this with respect , I just think it's .
She hasn't kept up with stuff because it's techie for her okay , so maybe people are emailing her so you know she'll hire them or she'll say , yes , we'll pay you , like verbally , yeah . But then she doesn't answer people's emails because most people don't talk on the phone anymore .
Mm-hmm , you know , I mean .
I don't mean that in a bad way In the work that we do . People are digital and emailing and you know chatting it's faster .
You can multitask with emails .
It's just a new way of doing things . That's what I think her problem is . I don't know if it's the fear of missing out . It could be that I just don't know her personally . I've never met her .
I know a lot of older people . They don't want to admit they don't know how to do something . That's an issue . I'm not an idiot . I know how to do that .
Was there pride coming before the fall ? So you're supposed to just be able to ask . And it is hard . It's definitely hard , but people also , they feel like when they have to ask you questions , it shows weakness and it shows vulnerability .
But we may not see it that way and that shows vulnerability , but we may not see it that way , but as the individual coming into the person . If you're insecure about something , it may feel like it's weakness .
And that may be an issue with a lot of our seniors . Well , there was this one time where this was like months ago , but this is what I realized . I was like , oh , she's so stressed . This was like months ago , but this is what I realized , like , oh , she's so stressed . I called her from my boss's home here in Malibu and my boss was in the room .
But we have this speaker thing . It's just like a speaker box where you can call and everyone in the room can hear , right .
Yeah .
Conference box .
Yeah .
Yeah , but it's just . It's yes , anyways , but you didn't know that's where I was calling from . I mean , she knew I was calling from his number , but she didn't . She didn't realize that he was in the room . You know what I mean . Like she got really snippety and really whatever . And then he was like hey , i'm'm here and what's going on , are you okay ?
and then her tone completely changed I was like I was like , and that's what I mean . Like you try to be nice , you try to be grateful , and then they're frustrated for whatever reason . And usually I can calm her down from getting . I'll be like I'll take care of it , I'll deal with it . But I think that's also bad because it now continues to be me .
But yeah , he stepped in it and he was more upset with the tone changing . I was too . At that point . I was like wow Cause , that just shows a lack of respect for anyone else she's talking to . That might be upset .
Yeah , that's definitely an indication of how she talks to other people , and so if she's talking to you like that and she got busted , just imagine how she's talking to other people , other vendors .
Especially the vendors .
Yeah , people , you have to . She is a representation of him , so if that's what they're getting , it makes him look bad and he's going to realize that eventually , and bless her soul , she's going to have to , you know . Move on to the next phase .
It is a money thing . And I only know because so many times she'll mention something and she's like I know I'm going to get fired . I know I'm going to get fired . Well , if you know , stop doing it , Damn .
If you know , then stop doing it Like this , tell her .
It's your face , your energy .
Oh my God , that's hilarious . The one I work with , she has total FOMO . We had a company donate a standing desk to us , and so you know whoever wanted one grabbed one and there was one that was left over . So our manager , you know , asked you know , if you guys want it , you can grab it . Blah , blah , blah . She said it to all of us .
Well , how come I can't have that ? I said you can , if you want it , you can grab it . She's like well , no , I don't want it . I said so why are you asking ? She goes because I want to be included and I'm like but you were she told everyone .
At that point I would have been like ma'am , ma'am , excuse me , ma'am , you know good and hell well , you didn't want that why you can't even come over here . Go have several seats , mind your business . Just rest your nerves . Rest my nerves , we'll be all good and then have a cup of coffee . Enjoy your day . Thank you very much . Thanks for stopping by .
¶ Navigating Relationships and Insecurities
Is that fear of missing out or is it being kind of lonely and wanting people to pay attention to you ? Is that kind of the same thing ? I mean fear of missing out feels different to me . I feel like sometimes a lot of us react a certain way because we don't feel included . Right , I'm not making excuses for her , I'm just trying to look at it .
I come from this place where I'm starting to realize that at some point we all going to get older . There are just some facts that are feel negative , but I'm embracing it all . Like getting older , we're all going to die at some point . Like that's for sure . You know what I mean .
Like there were certainties we're all going to get wrinkles , we all going to have our boobies drop , whatever , Maybe not you guys . You know what I'm saying . All of us yeah we're in something , and so how can we be more full of grace ? Yeah , grace and it's your word of the day it is , it's the word of the day grace .
Try to be more great of and I just don't know how to fix it . And , um , I know it's not my job , but as a person who wants to grow all the time , as a good human being , I want to be more understanding and I also think when we can understand things , maybe we can treat it differently or deal with it differently , you know .
But see , now , here's the trick about grace you can show a lot of grace , but then there's a point where people can take advantage of it and it's like now I'm leading with grace , now I'm coming with grace . However , you're not going to keep doing it .
You know , because now , after I've explained to you in a kind , loving way , and I've come to you directly and I've spoken to you about what the issue is , and you acknowledge that you hear me and you say well , I know I'm going to get fired . Well , then , you want to get fired ? Then at that point , I'm done .
At that point I'm going to say I'm going to leave you where you are , be blessed . I'm going to say I'm going to leave you where you are , be blessed , and good luck and Godspeed , because you know there's only a certain line let me read what Amma just wrote .
Sounds like she feels like she's better than and . It should have been offered to her first so she can turn it down and then ask everyone else that's true I think that is Nazeem turn it down and then ask everyone else . That's true , I think that is .
Nazeem .
Oh my God , nazeem , how are you ? How ? Are you and Cynthia I don't think you know Nazeem , but he's an old friend from a different time , so we're at a different app which I'm never mentioning here again , but we have not seen him . So it's like five o'clock in the morning , right , nazi , he's great um nazine . What time is it in italy ?
oh , they're like nine hours ahead , right , yeah , yeah , yeah it's like always like two or three in the morning or something , when he's uh chit-chatting on uh an app . It's like 3 in the morning or something , when he's chit-chatting on an app .
It's like 4 in the morning .
Yeah , I want you to come on this show when you're awake in the middle of the night and your wife is asleep .
Oh , that's too bad . No , it's more , it's 5.54 .
Come on and talk with us , be a guest , come on the show . But I'm so glad you're here . I miss you . I think Rick would agree , right , don't ? We miss him a little bit .
Oh yeah , Nazeem's a very cool dude , for sure . You said a little bit .
What it's . Just me , nazeem , I'm going to send you an invite next Thursday . But you an invite next Thursday , but you can come whenever you want . I'll send it to you at your Facebook or your email address . We'd love to have you on the show . Okay , deal , deal , and if you can't do it at this time , you and I can have a private lounge .
We'll have Rick on too and chit-chatting .
How rude . I can't be in the private lounge . How's the nerve ?
Me and you are left out , Mario , I'm telling you like the red-headed stepchild children that we are .
Sounds like FOMO . No , you know what . Forget y'all . How about that ?
You're lifting out ? Okay , perfect .
We'll definitely do it next week , for sure , I promise , promise , that'd be great . I know it's funny , because the story that cynthia just said , right , I was reading , uh , like it was a fictional story and this woman was like just mad as a hornet and these people were going to a wedding and she's like why are you so mad ?
And then they came to find out because she didn't get invited to the wedding and they're like oh well , here you can go in my place , that's fine .
Oh , I don't want to go . I don't want to go , I just want the invitation Right . No .
Oh , my God .
I've gotten that too .
I can take that from another , because I remember when I was younger , I , when I was younger , I was not invited to hang out with , like um , melanie had kind of mentioned the cool kids . Um , I was kind of an outsider but also thought of as kind of cool because I was rehearsing .
I was I wasn't always hanging in the hood with everybody else , you know , um , but I remember like then they would be like having parties or going wherever or hanging out and they wouldn't invite me and I would feel like , oh my God , nobody even thought of me or whatever .
It's not like you had to be invited to the neighborhood chat , you know , hanging out on the street , but if you weren't invited or no one gave you a heads up that there was a special time , that we were all going to be doing something , I felt really bad . I just wanted to be asked .
I probably would have never gone anyway , right , yeah , we just had so many parties , you know underground parties or whatever , which is a place I would have never wanted to be anyways , but not being asked made me feel like crap .
It is like that . I've been that way too , where you know , I just wanted to be asked Most of the I'm going to say no , Anyway , it's just the thought of being asked .
But , by the way , I was 17 or 16 at the time , so I just want to clear that up .
Oh .
I'm 50 something and I still feel that way , like just now when you cried about not being invited to the private lounge .
Yes .
But I'm always quick to say like , like , if it is , somebody does ask me to do something or whatever , and I'm like thank you for thinking of me , you know , but no , but thank you for thinking of me , thank you .
Yeah , yeah , I appreciate it , thank you , but no , thank you and then sometimes I will go and I'll be the life of the party and they'll all be grateful . I want , want you . You know what I'm saying . Okay , I'm sorry . All right , you guys didn't think that was funny . I did .
If Tony would think it's funny , cause he'd be like I want to know if you have any say in firing that person .
Oh , I missed home . I'm so sorry . I was just looking at Nazeem's comments . Do you have any say in that ? Oh , if not , if not , then your fee should go up because your job duties are expiring . You're so amazing . So let me explain what I do , because that would make more sense . So I people will say I'm a business manager .
But you know anybody can say they're a business manager and just like a life coach , and you know anybody can tell them I actually , when people hire me , they know I do organizational management . And the reason why I call it that is because I come into any situation and I just try to fix what's broken .
So , for example , my biggest job is firing and hiring people . So , yeah , that's , that's the major thing that I do . I also come in and make suggestions on procedures and , um , you know , depending on what kind of uh client it is , it has a little bit of tweaky stuff .
Like sometimes I just do um , you know , being the front face for especially my A-list clients , you know that are celebrities . They're not going to go and sit at the bank to talk to them about moving money around or investing in something else .
So I'll go get the information , I'll be the middle person and then go deliver it to them with all the suggestions , then go back , right , so it's like that person . But yeah , and I do a lot of overall management and that's pretty much it . So , yeah , I do have a say in if they get fired . But that's all in the bling amount I charge .
As you should now with this particular person . Are you at that point or are you going to get , continue to show a little bit more grace ?
Oh , I always show her grace because she is an elder .
Right .
But she also knows that just by her own mistake . But I have suggested that they think about a different way we can use her . So this is part of the problem that people don't understand . You have to use people's strengths .
Strengths yeah , I agree .
It's not any , that's any age you can't be like . Oh , rick , I know that . I mean , we love your personality , we think you're great , we'd love to hire you . We're going to put you in charge of all the accounting . I don't know if you're an accountant , but that would be like a tech it person . I don't know , jack , about IT stuff . You know what ?
I mean IT , I would take , but numbers no .
No , no , but you see what I mean . What did he say ? I see that with what ?
I said , it I would do because I've done it before , but anything with numbers , nah .
But you see what the point I'm trying to say . Right , there is a longevity of a relationship . These people , their strength , the reason why I keep working for them is they are loyal and that tells me a lot about the quality of who they are .
So the conversation I've had with them is not to fire her , but the conversation I've had with her and him is it might be time to change her position . What she does for you all .
Uh , maybe give her a little bump in money , because I think that's also what's stressing her out , like she's been getting paid the same amount of money for a very long time oh , wow it's not their fault . It's a little bit more complicated . She was hired for somebody else right then the thing and then it's been so long .
Things have changed over over time , so nobody was like supervising that whole situation yeah she is part of the family in a way because it's been so long . So that's on them . I made my suggestions yeah , it's complicated .
It seems like it's really complicated . It's not very cut and dry , right also ?
alma Also , alma just made a great point or they need an assistant , what I suggested , because I think she would interpret that as I'm not getting my job and I'm going to get fired . She would right , no , yeah . But she would say , she's going to get an assistant for that state house , you know what I mean .
Yeah For the house that gets somebody else to assist in in all things , but not say it's for her .
But say no , yeah , it's for . Yeah , you bring them in under her . So you'll say you're , you're the supervisor . It means it gives you a title . So , yeah , I mean that's that's you know . That's a good idea . It's just maybe the approaches to how you bring the person in , you know , and , like you said , just give them a bump , it's not a lot .
Give them a bump , make them feel like a supervisor and you're getting that . She's getting the extra help she needs .
Yeah , but that's like the last part that I have to do with it . Like , at that point , like I make suggestions to my clients , it's on them to pursue it . You know what ?
I mean .
Some are like whatever you want , carmen , go ahead , do it , cause they know I will go and fire them myself . Right , they're not going to do it , so I'll be the bad guy and I'm fine . I get paid to do that . But if they're , you know , taking their time or don't want to , I got none
¶ Firing and Severance Procedures
else to say .
I'm curious how do you fire people ? How do you deliver the bad news ?
Well deliver the bad news well , first of , all , it's not that quick . So like , let's say , I was going to fire you from whatever position you're working for , I mean your heart and soul .
And on that private lounge podcast we did last week that you can find at youtube , all about the joy boom , there it is plug it don't see me which I made sure that I clicked like on .
like everybody should Smash that like button .
That's right , like that shit . Okay , I just did that , like Chris Gayle did , right , a really nice moment , and then you mess it up . But it wouldn't be abrupt , I would , you know , because , not even by law but out of decency , you want to give people chances , but you really do have to give people at least three warnings before you .
Actually , so they're not surprised by the time it happens Doesn't mean they're not annoyed . So usually I am . I am hired when everyone's frustrated and they're going to get fired anyway . Not that they know , but they've tried like they think they've tried everything . Get him a cardboard box .
With a security escort .
Wow , that's the impression with me . Wow , I like that . Just walk in .
He's coming to the office with a box on your desk . You bet your shit . You got to go .
Sign here , take your shit . You got to go . Sign here , take your shit .
Hit the clipboard , sign your shit , get out . Have a good day .
So the first time it's not a warning . It feels like I'm just trying to tell you what I need you to do , instead of what you've been doing . Right you know what I mean . So I'll be like Mario , you know what . I know that this may be the way you've always done it , but I need you to step it up .
I need it to be on time , I need it to be accurate , and if you need any help with that , let me know , because I'm happy to sit here and help you . Come up with a different way on how to do blah , blah , blah , blah , blah .
Exactly .
That's warning number one . You're never confused . That that's warning number one specifically to fix , and it's always usually a little gossipy that they know I'm going to fire somebody , okay . Second , the second warning is usually like a little bit more curt . If you will a little bit more forward , I bring them to a separate room .
I bring the boss in if he or she is around . We have a conversation that this is the second warning . You promised that you would work with Carmen . You probably . You know , by this date we said we reevaluate . So this is abruptly the second time and second warning that we need you to do blah , blah , blah , blah , blah . You know what I mean .
Like you can say by the third time , they know I'm frustrated . There's no way you can tell , not tell that I'm frustrated and cause now I'm being a little bit more whatever and I'm like OK , so here's the conversation . This is the last time in 30 days . We need this to be fixed Like one one .
The biggest thing sometimes is that people think and kind of hide that they've done it when they actually haven't . Oh , wait a minute , wait , hold on a second . But the third , the third time . They have a timetable it needs to be met . We have a real evaluation and there's never a confusion that they're about to get fired .
Wait , I usually have papers for them to sign and whatever a severance package , and that's what I'm talking about . so it's really three times warning , fourth time we're done . So Alma just said that would actually be such a power move .
You walk in with supplies , a stack of moving boxes and tape , and say not sure who's going to need these , but people can sue us . When do they slash a car ? Well , here's the thing , my client when do they ?
slash a car tire .
That's funny .
Well , here's the thing , my client , something bad has happened before and it wasn't my car , but somebody got so upset that they and this is why nobody has my address , not even my clients know where I live . I have a PO box on purpose .
You should .
Because that time was like it was earlier in my career . I have a PO Box on purpose . You should Because that time was earlier in my career . That's what I'll say . And they came to my house and left dead flowers one week . It was a little scary . It was a little scary . That's why I changed . I actually moved out of one place because of that .
I vowed never , ever , ever , to give out my address to anyone again yeah , no , that's when . That's when the mario shows up my clients know in the stipulation , if something happens to me because of this , that they are .
Uh , you know , not everyone always agrees to it , but it's a clause in my contract yeah because it is a dangerous thing to do , especially if people look at . The problem usually isn't the person , it's usually the management , supervisor or boss who didn't train them correctly . So I'm telling you nine times out of 10 , that's the problem .
Say it loud for the people in the back , like the . Rolling Stones song bring me dead flowers in the morning man , you do something like that to me it's , it's a rap for you . It's because I'm a different person . I come off nice and sweet . You know , got a little soft voice , but then english yourself no , no , englewood will show up .
Don't play , don't play , englewood will show up .
I actually showed Grace this morning . A customer asked for a quote for a particular item , didn't say how many . They just said can you send me a quote for blah , blah , blah ?
I wrote him back and I said can you please send me all your billing and shipping information and how many you're looking for , and I'll go in my system and set up a quote to send you . Mr Smarty Pants writes me back and says well , how are you going to give him a quote when you don't know how many he wants ?
So instead of saying dummy , did you not read what I wrote ? I said exactly . So I'm going to write them again for clarification there you go . I gave grace , that is grace .
That's grace , but we can do both . We're all about the joy . Oh , don't mess with Tony's logo , come on . Yeah , I just think it's . Look , some people get mad at me , but that's why , over time , I've learned how to do it differently . I try to be as helpful as possible , I try to be whatever , so that they're not confused Like the last person .
I fired two people in the past month . Wow , you're on a roll . And you know what ? When I had the conversation with them , or you know , our bosses and me had the conversation with them they didn't get upset , they knew they knew it was coming , yeah . And we give them a nice severance . So they have a few months to figure out what's next .
You know , and yeah , because the people I work for all have money . This would be a different ball game if it was a startup or whatever . I don't take those clients because I I I can't fire or hire someone who doesn't have enough money , like you can't hire a cfo for eighty thousand dollars , nowhere not how it works out here , you know .
so if you ain't got the money , you're gonna have to get a CFO for $80,000 . No , nowhere , not how it works out here .
So if you ain't got the money , you're going to have to get a really really , really young , young up and coming hoping to be an accountant . You know what I mean . That will take you to the grand , you know what I mean and then become CFO someday when you make money .
But I can't be going to somebody who's making $200,000 , $250,000 minimum as a CFO of some organization out here and say , yes , no , it's the fixer .
She is the fixer .
You know what that's so negative , Nazeem ?
So basically when you fire them you say hasta la vista , baby .
Yeah , no I don't , and after step two she'd be like I'll be back .
Right .
I actually do my job . I'm just good at it , and you all know that that's not what I want to be doing .
I know , but you're just so bad going good at what you do . I know , but you're just so good at what you do .
It's not that I'm just saying it's easy to be the bad guy or the bad cop , so the bosses look good . That really is what it is , that I do .
Do you like being the villain ?
I can't be the villain .
Sometimes it's fun to be the villain I've always heard actors love playing villains .
Yeah , they do , thank you the villain .
I've always heard actors love playing villains . Yeah , they do . Thank you , rick , but I don't like it because , at the end of the day , what I do , no matter how well or nice or with all that warning , it hurts people .
Yeah .
It's not really what I want . You know what I mean . Like it's not all I do . I don't just hire and fire people .
The other parts of my job I actually don't mind , because I get to meet a lot of people and I get to be on set a lot with a couple of my clients , and that's a different ballgame , right , that's playing , interference with media or PR people or agents . But that's more fun for me , because at least it's really industry based , you know .
But see , that's the fun part of your job . You , what I'm saying , that's that's well I mean to me .
To me , energy is yeah because it's the industry I love , but I still don't like being that you know performing or or doing this podcast regularly .
You know what I mean so you're trying to explain your job to a six-year-old kind of be like I just help them run everything better , that's it .
I missed what you just asked because I was reading Alma say the joyous part I think she was clarifying from Mario .
I'll say if you try to explain your job to a six-year-old , you could just say I try to help the company run everything better .
I never admit to children or anyone .
I'm just saying , if you had to .
Yeah , I would say I manage
¶ Navigating Dreams and Self-Discovery
things . I don't know how did you get to that's not on the list .
That's not on the list . People , you have to stop on the list . What are you talking about ?
Because I'm getting sad , because I know I'm branded as that , I know that's what I do , but it's not who I am and it's not what I want to do to make a living .
But you just said it . It's not who you are , it's your job .
And we're talking about it after I just did it .
Okay , let's move on .
So let's talk about joyful stuff .
Back to the list .
Well , I think we . I don't know where I am on the list , not because you all messed it up .
Oh God Can you imagine if somebody was about to get fired ? The best performance in a podcast goes to Exactly here's your award . Can you imagine if somebody knows they're about to get fired by Carmen and be like aren't you all about the joy lady ?
Aren't you all about the joy lady ?
You know what Everybody now does know that I do this , but they knew before it was branded as that that I am creative , like I don't lie to any of my clients or anybody I work for .
Alma just said it's what you do , not who you are , I know , but I can say that all I want in theory , but at the end of the day I spend at least eight hours every day , sometimes a weekend , and I can say it's not who I am , but it's mostly what I think about . You know what I mean and it's really hard .
Like all the sayings we say , I always wonder , like why do people say them ? Cause they're not really true , they're just all habitual things we keep saying . But I don't , yeah .
Sometimes we say stuff as affirmations to make ourselves feel better , and it's self-encouragement . For me . It might not always be true , but I'm like , okay , I'm about to go down this black hole . You're not this , mario , you're not that , you're this .
And then I start giving myself affirmations to pull myself out of it , to get on with the rest of my day , cause otherwise we can . We can . What was they say ? Spiral the drain , and we don't want to do that . So let's come out of this spiral and change the subject to something else .
Send me the list for next Thursday . I'll bring my own cardboard box the list for next Thursday .
I'll bring my own cardboard box .
That's it . The list is usually done Thursday morning . Maybe Sometimes we just wing it . You need to show yourself some grace .
There's that word again .
It's the word of the day I think I do , but I'm also .
You know , we started talking about it , I think . How do you say this ?
Say it .
Like as a dancer . I'll give you an example . I know to my heart and my soul that I was a dancer , a performer , and I will always be that in my heart .
But the fact that I'm actually not doing it or getting paid for it , or just having the time to do community theater or something , you know what I mean , right Is the depressing part , and I don't know if the word depressing is right , but I'm saying there's a , there's a conflict and there's only like , okay , I show myself grace .
Yeah , but then . But then I understand what you're saying , because growing up as a young person , that's always my goal was to always be working behind the camera . I didn't ever want to be an on-screen talent , I always wanted to be a director , I always wanted to be a producer . That was my dream coming up .
And because you know of everything else all my other health challenges , everything else that got in the way . You know it . It was . It's a dream deferred , but I still call it a dream . So you know , I never . But then I have to ask myself okay , what am I doing to make sure that I'm working on my dream ?
and I haven't done anything lately my clients know that march of 2025 , I'm no longer working for them . That's what I did this year and wow , yeah , so that is what I'm doing for it . But I think um and alma just said you mourn it . I know that's what I'm doing right now and you guys are telling me to show myself some grace . I'm like I am mourning it .
Um , yeah , so so that that is what the difference is . That is why , even though I'm tired and really just want to sleep , when I come home or just rest and watch TV or something I will , I will do what I need to do .
And then I'm up at 12 in the morning or one in the morning editing this show or doing what I need to do , or , you know , getting a trademark or fixing the website . Or Rick knows that I , you know , just started a store and we're testing out some of the stuff , so I asked him to order some . You know what I mean ?
Like I am in the little bit of time , so I get , I , I committed to myself this year . I can't believe I'm admitting this , but I mean , I don't mind , maybe it inspires somebody else .
I was sick and tired of mourning this situation and finding every excuse and reason why I am validating , why I am in this situation and then say , okay , so why am I still in it when I know I don't ? What can I do ? So I gave myself a timeline and not just in my head .
I told each one of my clients when I signed my new contracts and they're all for the same date , even though the contracts are different . Right , yeah , I said March , said march 2025 . I'm out , you know one time I was like but that's only nine months .
I'm like exactly , exactly like I didn't make any changes or whatever for anyone and , um , my hope I'll be honest is to make money . I , I have enough money for like four or five months to get by . If I don't want to , because then I'll have nothing and I'll be calling you all and be like , hey friend .
Can you bail me out ?
I need bail money .
I need bail money , but I'm just saying by then at least getting income . Like I've started writing the book for All About the Joy and I have someone helping me with just kind of editing and I'm not expecting to make a lot of money , but I just want to do something , and so I started that . I have the whole template out for the chapters .
I also have invested in this so that hopefully there'll be something . Maybe somebody will help sponsor us , maybe somebody will help , maybe some money will come in from a few things of stores that I'm trying to create . No , I'm just trying to pull from everywhere you know what I mean to see if there's ways to do this .
But I really think if I had eight hours a day to just focus on me and what I want to do , if it's just for two months , I think I can get some . There's too many people making money as content creators , as you know , whatever it is right Podcast or YouTube , whatever . You know what I'm saying . Like , there's so many ways to make money .
Um , even writing , you can . You can submit on Fiverr or on all of those other places that are like temporary contract work , like you know . I'm just saying if everyone else can be making a minimum of five grand a month or whatever , or people are making 50 , 60 000 a month on crap .
you know what I mean help me understand how these insta , these instagram kids , are making millions of dollars like make it make sense , like I don't know I don't even need that much .
I I mean I can live up to five thousand dollars a month . That's why I won't buy a new car . That's why you don't see me dressing up fancy . That's why I'm really trying to prioritize the absolute minimum . I need to stay in the place I'm at . You see what I'm saying ? Yeah , alma , thank you .
She said good for you and it seems that that's around the corner . Wow , I know , I know . Either that or I win the lottery between now and then .
I'm going to say investing yourself and bet on yourself .
Yeah .
Because if you don't believe in yourself , who else is going to believe in you ? Well , come on now . Come on church . Let the church say amen .
Amen , amen , amen .
What keeps you guys from not fulfilling whatever ? Well , can't say that about Cynthia , because she's hustling to get to the dead world , the dead body world that she wants to work in .
She wants to see dead people . If you've got to see them .
What do you all think of ? What prevents people from actually doing what they want to ultimately be doing ? What do you think it is ?
Fear , fear of failure , fear of rejection . For me Interesting Because I did it before and I was told no , I was told I wasn't good . I was told all the negative , all these people poured negativity into me , so it weighed me down and so I always yes , the dead world and so it's .
You know I'm not trying to go to the dead world , I'm trying to stay here and try to be lifted up I'm just reading what alma just said . I'm sorry no , no , no , I know so . For me it was all the negativity of people pouring into me negative stuff . So now all this time is it's held me down , and mentally and physically . And so now I'm trying to .
You know , I'm taking a turn and you know , trying to push myself out and I'm starting to take steps and I'm making phone calls . Actually , in the last month I've been making phone calls to try to make changes and I'm just waiting to see what , where it goes . I'm not speaking on it until something happens .
¶ Deal & Broadway Stories
Oh , what one thing I forgot to tell you guys . One thing that brought me joy this week is I was on let's make a deal .
Boom , there you go , I know , but okay , yeah , he was on it last fr . A Deal Boom . There you go , I know , but okay , yeah , it was on it last Friday . Okay , here's the thing , though , mario . I was going to tell everyone , but I couldn't find it because I think it aired wherever it aired . But unless you have something , yeah it's on Paramount+ .
Yeah , it's on Paramount+ . If you missed it the day of , the only place you can watch it is on Paramount Plus . I taped my segment and I don't even look the same . My wife was like it's not even the same person .
Can you send it to me on my drive so I can .
Yeah , yeah , yeah , I'll send it to you .
I don't think I can post it though , because it's probably trademarked right . It's a show you can't .
Well , you can't , well , I I posted it on on my instagram because it's me .
The whole show , no not the whole show , just my segment . How did I miss it ? I didn't see it on instagram . Did you guys see it on instagram ?
I put it on my story .
I didn't put , I didn't post it , I just put it , I would have marked something , I would have . Okay , yeah , I'll put it because .
I didn't post it post it , but I put it on my Instagram stories and my Facebook stories , so if you saw it that day , it was on my stories .
But yeah , if you yeah all right , well , let's talk later , because if you could send it to me on my drive or whatever , I can then send it to everyone else .
I can , but just a quick story from that whole day . So when I got on the show , um , I met , of course . I talked to wayne brady . I told him about my wife's school .
I don't know if you guys know this story um , I told him to me in the I think it's on the podcast yeah , but I don't think well I don't know , it might have been I don't , no , that's a lie you told me afterwards in the green room .
Yeah , I didn't tell you on the show . Yeah . So when I talked to Wayne I told him about my wife and her school . They were actually going to see the Wiz .
So at that moment I told him it was the first time a lot of our black and brown kids were actually going to see a like a broadway show or in that forum , and he was so inspired by that he wanted to meet all the kids after the show . So , but the day of the show he was sick .
He ended up having a some type of virus , lung lung infection that whole week so he wasn't in the show that week . But what he did was he sent he Cox and Alan Mingo Jr to come and talk to the kids after the show . That is so awesome , it's so and it was so nice and so kind and they talked to the kids . The kids were first like who are they ?
And then I said it's Glenda and the Wiz and they were like oh , and then the whole their faces just lit up . It was a great experience .
And I'm certain it was great . It's nice that you went to Wayne Brady , but that was the better get . Yeah , actually , no shade .
You know , no shade to Wayne Brady , but yeah , Deborah Cox was a great get . So and she's , yeah , actually Alan Mingo Jr . He'sa big Broadway vet . I didn't know his pedigree until I really looked him up . Then I watched him on . Because I don't know , because I watched Doom Patrol on HBO and he was on Doom Patrol . I didn't realize it was him .
I know , you don't , I saw it . Who was he ? Yeah , he was . You don't , I saw it , who was he ? Yeah he was the drag queen in oh okay . Yeah , and then he was also . He was in Kinky Boots , also on Broadway . In the original no , he replaced what's the gentleman's name ? Billy Porter . You know , billy Porter was on it . Oh , billy Porter , yeah .
Oh my God , you're kidding me .
Yeah , so Billy Porter was originally in Kinky Boots and Alan Mingle Jr took Billy Porter's place and played it for a long time right after him , so he's got a pedigree .
He's underrated . Billy Porter is amazing .
He's amazing .
Amazing , he's so underrated . I love everything about him , everything .
He's funny . To me he's very funny and he's very talented . And , like I , didn't like . The first time I heard Billy Porter was when Alma and I were watching First Last Club .
We're going to jump off too , because we're at the 130 mark , which you know , yeah , we're going to get up .
Yeah , a lot of editing . Yeah , he was in , he sang in the First Wives Club and he sang the song Love Is On the Way and that was the first time I had ever heard Billy Porter . I remember that moment because I was like that's an amazing song and it stuck with me .
I don't think I ever saw that . Is that with the three ?
With Bette Midler , diane Keaton and Goldie Hawn . It's hysterical . It is a funny , funny movie I'm not going to remember it . Yeah . I'm just kidding , I just don't remember it . And then they did a black version on BET with Jill Scott For real . They did it with Jill Scott , michelle Buteau and Ryan Michelle Bethea , which is Sterling K Brown's wife .
It was funny . It wasn't the movie . They took the concept of the three divorcees getting back at their husbands . Same concept I'm thinking of that movie .
Now you know what I'm confusing it with Whatever movie . What's the country singer Dolly Parton . It was right , remember .
Oh , you're thinking like 9 to 5 .
Oh my God , oh yeah , that's what I'm thinking of .
Okay , sorry You're thinking 9 to 5 . Yeah , because there was three women for that . That was Lily Tomlin , dolly Parton and James Bond .
That's a group of people , huh , that's what I'm confusing it with . Yeah , yeah . We are at the 1.30 mark , which I didn't even see the time before I was even paying attention to it . It's hard to cut us off when we're having fun .
I'll stop talking . Shut up , you do .
I'm in talks all the time . I think it's you and me together . That's bad .
I'll shut up .
Or I'm being good .
¶ Expressing Gratitude and Farewell
Notice how Cynthia and Rick are not like oh my god , it's not you guys at all no .
No , If Notice how Cynthia and Rick are not like oh my God , it's not you guys at all .
No , no , it's not you , it's me . So we're going to say goodbye right now . Please like share , subscribe . Smash that button Uh-huh , and well , I want to say thank you Again . I'm going to give a shout out to LinkedIn because we keep getting followers on there and I just think it's freaking awesome . I just I'm stunned .
It's a trickling , but it's a constant trickle , so it's really great , so thank you for that and thank you everybody for listening to our private lounge .
Boom , there you go thank you , rick .
as always , I appreciate you , and mar , I love that you're here . Thank you , bye everyone . Remember it's all about the joy . Thanks for stopping by . All About the Joy . Be better and stay beautiful folks . Have a sweet day .