¶ Tony's Background and Family Life
Hi everybody , welcome to All About The Joy . I'm so glad to be back . Hi , Rick Costa , I missed you .
Hola , Mr .
Tony , Welcome . Welcome to the show Officially . So glad to have you here . You know Ted Hick sent me a text today that he's upset that you're moonlighting on all of us . Officially , Tony will be on the show every . Did we say fourth Thursday of the month ? Right , okay , wait , all right .
So I'm a little off because I was out last week and let me just tell everybody where I was . I went home to Patty Ann Wernig , I guess is her married name , but I've always known her as Patty Ann Martin passed away . Mary Ann Joann's older sister their parents are my godparents . I grew up with them . They're my family . I love them .
And she passed away unexpectedly and so I went home last week and I have to say one of the most amazing things that happened was they had the memorial service .
Then afterwards they , they had this hall that they rented out and there was all this food , and then there was a bar and there was this whole celebration of her life , some like drinking wine , coolers or whatever .
And at one point I see all the nieces and nephews and they're all singing and they're just singing all these old school songs that were Patty's favorites , right .
At one point I looked over and I saw this other generation of kids just absolutely singing and enjoying and loving on all this old school music from our day in honor of their auntie , and it was like it almost felt like surreal in a way , and so I really loved seeing everyone and I want to give a shout out to all the kids .
But I want to give a shout out to a few people . So , Kasey Stratton , I know you're watching , so thank you , I miss you , sweet love .
And then there's Brendan , Samantha , Ari , Kirsten , Jonathan Trevor I want to say to Linda and Lisa and Lori these are people watch a show and I didn't know that and Sally High , and then , of course , to Greg and Ricky and Mary and Jo-ann . So I just want to give my love to all of them . It was nice to be home with family .
By the way , I'm not from New Hampshire , but when I say home , I mean with people you love . You know what I mean Like . So it was nice to be around all them . So , yeah , okay . So now what I would like to do , which I was going to do first , but you know you were so busy . I wanted to talk to Tony .
I know people have seen you on the show , but we've never kind of talked about where you're from , what you do , what you love . So why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself ?
I going to preface this by telling you that you and I did this two years ago and I know you can't find it , so I don't mind running through it again .
What are we talking about ? This is a whole of the group of people I know it is fun , I'm going to do that .
No , I'm gonna do that for you because this is fun . For those of you out there who do not know me , I am a retired Air National Guardsman . I was an aircraft mechanic on F 16s in the military for 20 years . I'm currently a civil service aircraft mechanic . I work on F 15s as a civilian not military , but as a civilian on the military installation .
So a lot of times when I try to reserve comments or reserve actions because of where I'm at in life compared to where I could be if I didn't do right in the first damn place , some of you may want to follow that example . Recently divorced , as of December last year , I'm a father of two boys and a stepfather of a stepdaughter my stepdaughter .
Okay , back up right there , Back up right there . So , rick , the other day Tony and I were talking and he said he had the only kid I knew is Jason . How old is Jason , jason's how old ? 11 ? 9 ?
9 .
9 . Okay , and he's talking about he had a . Did you know ? He had another son , he had two other children .
I know about the other son that was living with him for a while .
He said that I should have known . That he told me before . I do not remember this at all . I would have remembered . That would have made you a much more substantive human being to me .
You know , you forgot what you did I did not know this .
Okay , anyways , go ahead . This is gonna last 10 weeks . If you're watching , you can have your man back she ain't ready she ain't ready .
She ain't ready .
I am not ready for this mess . No , Anyways . Okay , so you have three , kids three .
I have a stepdaughter is 25 . She just had a baby , so I'm a stepgrandfather as well . My oldest son is yeah , my oldest son is 22 . He's a college graduate . He graduated the film production about two years ago . My baby boy is nine .
Wow , well , congratulations on being a granddad . Thank you , thank you , thank you , thank you .
So you're the two new children I knew nothing about , so did it make you feel old when you found out to your grandpa ? Do you feel older ?
At my age . Technically , no , it is a trip , it is . It is a trip realizing that I'm somewhat of and I say somewhat of a grandfather , because she knows her real dad and he's there . I was just a stepfather , so I would say I got a stepgrandbaby .
I don't try to jump in , but she did come by , I did see him a little bit and you know , the family's there . I'm gonna be there regardless . So that's just how we're doing . So we keep it , we keep it close , we keep it tight and she's always been appreciative of me so I'm always gonna look out for her . You know what I mean .
Right .
So
¶ Reflections on Divorce and Moving On
you've been .
I didn't know you were divorced almost a year ago .
Okay , I knew you were in the process . I was in the process two years ago . We got finalized last year and it's been messing me up . I'm not gonna lie . You know I tell people a lot , yeah done , yes finalized , but I'll be damned if it didn't have an impact . I'll be damned if it didn't bother me .
I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that it had me messed up up here . I got to change my mindset back to not being married anymore . It takes a lot to put your mind there in the first place , especially when you want to be there .
So when it's over , it kind of throws you backwards and for a lot of people who have been divorced , I understand what they went through . Now , until you go through this , you can't relate and I'll tell anybody that this was when you want to be there and it doesn't work . This is deeper than losing the job .
This is deeper than I want to say losing personal possessions . You actually do kind of lose somebody in your life and what you had and what you established , what you put down , all of that . Okay , can I ask you a question ?
Is this because you're still in love with your ex-wife , or you're just saying marriage as an institution you liked ? Or is it the person you're missing , or is that too personal ? I don't know .
It's a little bit of all of it . I'll be damned if it's a little bit of all of it .
They used to . They become a part of your identity and it's been like that for so long that it's like a party you feel like missing now . And when you have kids on top of that , then that's even more of a connection which can never go away .
Like if you don't have kids , like you didn't have kids , carmen , so for you you should be like cut off or done , but when you got kids , there is no cutting off the connection .
That's the best way for me to describe it to a lot of people and see , I see what you're saying , technically and biologically , his grandfather still exists and his grandfather is still there . That's why I say step grandfather on purpose , I'm not going to step on her dad . I never tried to do that ever and he knows that Me .
I'm actually cool from that , because some dudes come in and be like you , ain't the father ? No more . As my baby I never did anything . I hate when dudes do that shit , I can't step in . It's blatantly disrespectful to be parent who is still in the life and as somebody who is a mind game on the kids .
You don't just spend the biological parents when they're still around , even if they go on for a minute and they come through . When her dad will come around , I'm like I'll take you to him , there ain't no problem . And he already knew he had reservations about me and I don't blame him . I don't because you don't trust nobody around your child .
You ain't supposed to . But I was always like you'll see over time it's not a problem . Her family was kind of in but as they grew to know me and they saw how comfortable she was and they realized I wasn't the issue . They don't have a problem with me . That's the best thing about it .
So Cynthia said I understand , but it's still your grandbaby . And then Chris just said and our spirit seeks for that perfect love that God showed us from our beginning . It's devastating to be hurt . That's fair . That's fair .
You will realize people that you've heard over time when you go through something like this . I've actually apologized to people for ways that I've been based on what I was going through , how much of an effect they had on me . I admit that this was . I don't wish this on anybody .
I guess I'm still trying to understand . And again , I mean , rick , you're right , I don't have children . I also think it's I don't have . There was no anger in our divorce . It was kind of like we could just tell it was done . You know what I mean . So we both needed to move away . So it was a little bit different .
I guess my question is and this again anything you don't want to talk about , you don't have to talk about and we can just cut it off . But my question is are you still in love with your ex-wife or is it the institution of marriage that you're talking about ? You said it's a little bit of all of it , but it sounds like I mean we're done .
I'll be honest , we're done .
Okay , we're gonna be there .
We're gonna be there for our son , but we're done . Am I gonna lie and be like I'm not gonna have an issue ? She moved on . I'm not gonna lie like that . I can't , because somebody- .
Are you moving on ? Are you moving on Like ? Are you dating ? Are you I'm not doing anything .
I'm not going anywhere . I'm not going anywhere . All I do is go to work , and I don't feel like it . I really don't .
That was my question . Are you able to move on and think about dating other people ? Yes , okay , okay , I'm just trying to understand where your head's at when it comes to your ex-wife .
Because what was ?
coming across was that you were still in love with her . But it's good that you said no , we're done , we're done .
I could tell you that I meant what I did when I married her and that's the part I got to get over . So for people out there who have any confusion , let me be clear . When I went to go , say I do , I meant that shit . When I went to work and came home and had nothing to worry about , I meant that shit .
We can change the subject . Well , I got along with no , no , no , come on . I didn't mean to get into this . I was just part of getting to know you . But we can move into the whole Chandler Bing Friends situation If we'd like .
Random friends . Come on , come on .
You can ask me . Hi Random Rick , how are you ? You can ask no , I think it was interesting because , no , I just know that Carmen knows all about your situation . This is such BS and it's not cool . What ?
Look , I'm not busted at all . I'm not busted at all . Carmen , you can keep asking .
I'm confused . What is happening ? I know your situation , boy . This is one of the reasons why I didn't want you on this show , right ? It's because all the people you've been doing with you that seem to always have negative issues or whatever , so I don't even know what to say now . We don't change the subject , because I am not in the mood . Oh no , no .
No , I do have to because my show isn't going to be a rehash of crap from people who are just so silly , do you ?
want to hear about how somebody flirted with me on the phone .
Who flirted with you on the phone . You made it from work Work . Okay , wait . Will you want a zoom call or would you want a phone call ?
No , no , no , no , it was a call . It was a call , yeah . So our company moved buildings and this new city is called Mount Dora . So I have to call all these people and say we've moved the dresses . Can you update your system ? Blah , blah , blah .
Right .
And so this one girl , she just seemed really friendly , as it is anyway . So I was like I'll give back to you what you give back to me . And then so I'm telling her Mount Dora . I was like Dora , like D-O-R-A , like Dora the Explorer , and she goes oh , I was just thinking about that , that's so funny .
I was like I know , I feel like saying I should say something in Spanish . Can you say blah , blah , blah ? She says can you go ahead and say something in Spanish ? I said oh , okay .
Wait a minute . Okay , I'm still trying to figure out what's going on here .
¶ Flirty Rick and Frustration With Negative Audience on Livestream
It was weird . Was it weird or were you interested ? I mean ?
it's not like anything will happen . I don't know . It's a phone call , I mean come on .
It's from .
Florida .
Hey you know clearly , it's just a phone call .
It's just a phone call it's just a phone call .
It was just funny , it made me laugh . She said hey , you can say something in Spanish to me . I said , oh okay , I was like what should I say ? Deals me . I don't know . Okay , wait so do you know this person no like , do you ?
have to know no , all right . Well , that's not fun If it's not going to go somewhere .
I just thought it was very funny .
Well , and there was a good try to change the subject , but you know we're going to have to go back to Tony . Tony , you cool .
Ask away . I'm great .
I know , I know no you know it's so weird because , like this is , it's like interesting to like talk to you and get to know you , but what's not interesting is having to deal with all the people that you bring to the table when , when when you're on the table , I'm with them , or cool Some of them are cool and then some people act stupid .
But just , I feel like this is always going to be an issue . If I have you on the show , we can't just have a like this was kind of a cool conversation right About you and your relationship , and now we got cut off because somehow we can't talk about it because you're going to have people in the comments being ridiculous .
I never know that . I don't let things like that stop me . Now , mind you , when I first started live stream with people , I used to see folks go through it all the time . It's nothing , they always go through it . Matter of fact for a lot of people who are on Periscope , you always saw somebody coming in saying something .
All you got to do is keep it going . You could respond to it , but never let them stop your flow and never let that topic this isn't about me , Tony .
This is it . Listen , listen , there's a quality .
I'm not saying .
I'm not saying no , no , but I'm saying there's a quality and kind of show that's kind of fun . This is all about the joy , and some motherfucking people on in the comments don't understand what that means , right ?
So we're having this nice flow and conversation about your life that might be able to help other people , or getting deep about talking about some stuff , and what I don't like is this constant and this is and I'm going to say it , this is what I hated about haps and the people on haps .
Like I don't care if I never see a motherfucking other person from haps ever again in my fucking life , because it's such negativity . It is such anger and sadness and everybody all is about gossip and about tearing people down , and even when you try to be nice to people , they still need to be a bitch . Hi , chris , your wine .
The way people Shadow . I don't know if you're talking to me or you . I don't know , I don't know , I don't know , I'm sorry , I'm getting upset .
Look at , the reason why I'm getting upset is because the people that just kind of stopped our flow are people who know better , and they're people I don't want near my show .
But they choose to be here and they choose to listen and they choose to be negative human beings who are constantly trying to bring people down instead of lifting people up , and the interesting part about it is that they're always going after people who want nothing to do with them . So that's why I'm upset and I'm so not in the mood .
I thought what you were talking about was great and I , you know . Again , anything you don't want to talk about personal is always your choice , and I actually don't know everything .
Even if I did , even if I didn't know everything , there are people who watch the show who don't know you and might learn something , and I think that's the other part of this that makes me crazy .
It's like if you are somebody who's a live streamer , if you are somebody who's a performer who does a show , you understand that when you are talking to people , you are talking Helen , get the fuck off my show , bitch .
¶ Confrontation With Toxic Individual
I'm so over you . I'm over you . You need to let shit go . My God , you are annoying . You are so annoying and now I'm going to attempt to block your fucking ass . You are one of the strangest people I have ever met in my entire motherfucking life . Like you actually have me having more feelings for somebody . Yes , I am too faced .
Yes , if that makes you feel better , I don't know why you come on my show , listen to my show and then bitch to Rick and bitch to other people . I want nothing to do with you . I have blocked you . I have stopped talking to you because you are a nasty human being .
You are angry , you cannot let things go , you cannot forgive people and you don't like admitting when you're wrong . You asked me a question about Tony . I already spoke to Tony about it and I told you the truth . I'm sorry , you're in love with Tony and you don't want to deal with the fact that he doesn't go visit you .
What do you want me to say to you ? We can do this . I'm angry with Helen because Helen cannot stop . And Helen , I don't go and watch your show , I don't go and follow you around , I don't go on the show all the time and you're ruining things and I think that's what you enjoy doing and I feel sad for you . And you can call me whatever baby .
You can call me whatever Honey . I have been called every name in the book bitch , okay . Wait , you left me a message , tony .
No , not you , Randall Rick . This is actually somebody else's broadcast . In the morning I put all my channels on . One of the reasons I don't put a lot of my channels on because what happens is sometimes everybody put a lot of channels on because I don't want to mess up . I just don't want to get involved in this . I just don't want to mess up .
I didn't know what was going on . I didn't expect what happened to happen to me and I can apologize everybody .
Wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , no , no , no , no , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait . I'm sorry , did I do something for you ? Thank , you .
You're right , I got all my . I've been holding back on her for a long time , but what she did today , I would have never bothered with her , because she came on my show and wrote on my stream and called me a name . I don't understand the drama involved with people from HAPS and all this crap . I really don't get it .
So , tony , I apologize to you , but you know what .
I didn't say I didn't wanna run it . I'm telling anybody not to come on unless they act negative against the broadcast .
And you don't think she's acting negatively against the broadcast ?
I think she's giving her opinion and already knew what was gonna happen . That's why I started singing .
I like , oh , thank you , tony , here's what I'm gonna do , because this is not what I want my show to be about . Baby , as much as I want you on the show , I don't want this bitch and I'm calling you a bitch in the way that it's meant to be on my show . You know what I mean . Like , I don't want her here because she's a negative human being .
This woman is upset about something that happened in March when she asked us our opinion about whether or not we thought Tony was using her . So that's what she's upset about , because me and my friend , andrea truth or the truth ?
Well , because she's in love with you and she wanted to know if she should be pursuing you and we were like have you ever met each other ? Why didn't you go to Scotland ? You know , I told you about in the LinkedIn thing , you know so , and now and she's still bringing it up because she can't let it go I just told you I'm hella .
I don't know why you think I'm hiding anything . I don't know why you think I'm so shy . I've never been shy about nothing . But Tony , tony , here's what I'm gonna do . You're gonna have to really rethink whether or not you want to be on show , and I have to rethink it too . I don't want this . I don't want this woman on my show .
I don't want this drama on my show and I am gonna get this upset every time she comes on here and talks bullshit , because she is angry and she can't let things go and she's a nasty human being and I don't know what her drama is .
But it's not what I want in my life and it's not what I want this show to be about , and I'm not a big enough person to just keep ignoring her because I want to interact with people on the show . You have to not listen to all of that . Now , you're right , chris . Chris , you're right .
The problem is there's a little bit of history here and this woman is in love with Tony and she has issues because we told her what we thought about the situation and you know it is what it is . I think some people need therapy and they get it on social media . I just tried to block her , but for some reason it's not working . I don't know why .
It doesn't matter . She keeps , she's gonna keep following . Isn't that weird to have somebody who just continuously trolls , like just for attention ? That's like a weird thing . I don't . Rick is like I don't want any phone calls so I'm saying fucking nothing . That's your whole face right now . Look at here .
Here's what I feel bad about is I can't do anything to help her . I also don't like her , so and I want , I don't want her in my life and so , tony , that means I don't want you on my show . I know that sounds horrible , but I think this is part of your thing and you don't take a stand . I've had this conversation with you before .
You've allowed it because I think you like the ego boost of this woman falling around town .
What ego boost , what ego boost .
Because someone liking you so much you're not gonna . You're like she's just giving her opinion . She's not giving her opinion , she's calling me names .
I've seen people waiting , waiting , waiting , waiting . Remember , when you talk about giving opinions and saying what you want to say every time and you don't care . Here's the kicker , and I've said this to her too . You can't be like that on everybody's broadcast . What pisses me off is when people come on and somebody else is showing . Do that shit .
I don't like that . That's why I don't do it . I know that and I've told her . That's why I just sat back . I'm like you know what this is gonna be on her . You know why I'm not saying that ? Because I've told her stop doing this for a year . People don't have to believe this out there . She's gonna keep doing like you said .
People have already told me she has changed accounts . She has done all that . She has done all that .
You know that she does it because she's in love with you , right ? Actually , this might be a really good conversation after all . Go ahead , baby Rick , I'm so sorry if your phone blows up , but you already know you need the block .
We're good so far , so good yeah . So people who are listening ? Who are like what the ?
fuck is going on , what you want me to stop ?
I'm not asking . Look , it feels like we don't have a choice . It feels like we have to have this motherfucking conversation . It's either that or you need to get off the show and I need to go talk about something else . But we're here now . You know what I mean . It's like you don't have .
I'm gonna go ahead and say this Look it , I guess my question is to you . It's like it's not people . This is Helen . It's not people , Tony .
She's not the only one who does this and I'm gonna go ahead and say this I've seen people do this before her and I've told them to stop acting like this before her , Before I went through the situation , I've seen people do this . Why are you talking about anyone else but Helen ? Because every time this happens , we don't talk about that one person .
I tell everybody on social media they need to stop doing this . I just talked about this and tell you it's show up in a month ago .
This is not a global phenomenon . Sweetie , I know you .
It is , it is , it's not my life , my life right now .
This is the problem In your life no In your life .
No , that I see this .
This woman is the problem . That's why I've been quiet .
I see this everywhere . That's why I've been quiet . I'm tired of telling people to do this , and people want to do it on purpose .
They want to do this . Wait , they do this to you all the time . I'm confused .
I didn't save me . I didn't save me . I said I've seen this on other broadcasts . They used to do this all the time on Periscope before they were doing it on Haps . I know , I know , but that's the whole other thing .
That's not what this show is about . That's what I'm trying to say . My show is always about what's supposed to be I guess not today , but it's always supposed to be about joy and about bringing happiness and about trying to walk through situations . It's not about this bullshittery , this crap . It's her jealousy .
It's her needing to win and be right and not take any responsibility . I'm also going to put some shit on you , which is what I always do . It's also your responsibility because you continue to allow it to happen .
So I allow it to happen .
Well , yeah , because instead of saying Helen , cut the shit , and having a conversation with her , you're like globally , I tell everybody , I tell everybody .
How many people are running after you and doing ?
this shit with other people ? What ?
I've told her to stop doing this , in private and in public , more than once .
I've told many people that's not doing this . She doesn't sell the people on other shows .
She's done this on other shows . Yes , she's not the only one .
Well , she needs some help . So what do you think is her issue with doing this whenever you're around ? What do you think ? Because every time you were around before , if you came on our show and talked on our show , then Rick would have to deal with a whole bunch of text messages or whatever .
He would never tell me about it , but I could always motherfucking tell because we'd be having our meeting and he'd be all like pissed off and shit . So here's my question what is it that you think about you ?
Hey .
Ash bring some joy in the room .
What's up , ash , how you doing . What's up , ash , how you doing .
What is it that you think is about you , that this comes out ? What do you think is happening there ?
I think it's me . I think it's me . Yeah , I see that Some people just want to do this . I don't think it has anything to do with me . People can't wait to call people out . You think Helen's Bullshitery ?
Wait , wait , wait , wait . I want to be Kalea . You think Helen's Bullshitery has nothing to do with you ?
I've seen her do this with somebody else on that show . We had nothing to do with me . I've seen it .
Tony , your denial is like incredible .
I just told you the truth . You don't remember it . You don't remember it . I saw it , I've seen it .
I saw it before too , because she was mad at what's his name and he was being me
¶ Social Media Drama and Personal Attacks
. That's not what we're talking about . This is a whole other thing . This is a whole other thing , but that's my thing .
You always talk about this . Right now , I'm telling you , I've seen the pattern with people no-transcript . This is a social media .
So you're saying Helen does this on other shows all the time , so she has a problem .
No , I've seen it nicely all the time . No , no , no , no .
No , because you can't just admit that she has a problem . Instead , you want to make it a lot of people .
I just said . I've told her about this more than once . I didn't say that .
Rick , we need to .
That's what I'm trying to do . No .
I know I know , I know .
No , I mean , you're so right . You know what I mean . You know what ? Helen Rick is being quiet because you're a fucking idiot and you like to harass people and fucking send text messages to people to hurt them . And you want attention , bitch , I'm going to give you motherfucking attention . You are so evil .
You have me feeling bad for someone else I hated Like . Now I realize why he went after you because you're fucking ridiculous girl . You need therapy . You need some help , sister , you need to get some help . You are out of your fucking mind . You're out of your mind to be following people who don't want to talk to you .
I've blocked you on everything , bitch , blocked you on everything , and you still are trying to sit here and have a fight with people , and you know what . I'm happy because , in a way , I've needed to say this to you . I wasn't going to fucking text you and email you and all the other shit that you do to people .
If you lived across the fucking street , I'd walk across the fucking street and tell you because you are a nasty human being , nasty human being , and I wish that you get all the help and whatever love it is that you're missing in your life . I hope you receive it , honey , because you need it .
You need someone to really love you , to understand what it is to have real friendships and to have real good people in your life , because that's what you're missing , baby . You missing really good friendships , and I'm going to tell you right now I would have been a good friend to you , but you're so stupid you're missed out .
I hope , helen , that you get whatever help you need , because you really do need it . You need help . I cannot say it anymore . Andrea said it to you , we all said it to you . You need to get some real motherfucking help , and your denial and your name call isn't going to help you . You can call me whatever you want .
No one's going to believe you Nobody , nobody . Ash says people are allowed to have an opinion , but going into people's lives to create drama doesn't put light on this . It just makes the instigator look immature .
Chris let me respond .
It's a confirmation to him . He likes that attention . He needs to feel empty , gap inside himself , confirmation to feel okay . Are you , chris ? Are you talking about Tony ? She told my mix . That's interesting , I can respond to that .
I can respond to that .
I don't know if she's talking about you , but it sounds like she is talking about you .
People are allowed to have an opinion , but going into people's lives to create drama doesn't put light on this situation . It just makes the instigator look immature . Ash , paul , that's why you shouldn't go up there and speak like this on social media .
I addressed this on a lot of occasion and this one of the things I just tried to do when I was on the other platform . People told me to stop doing it because it wasn't working . I have tried to stop people from going on people's broadcasts and doing this . They don't damn stop . They do not . They want to do what people think .
They could , just say what they want to say , do what they want to do , speak what they want to speak , and they don't care who it is or when they do it . That's a problem to me . I want to respond to Chris . It's not about what you need to feel content in your own life . Chris , I'll be honest with you .
I have content in my own life off of the internet , in all honesty and I'm not being funny , I'm not being sarcastic , I'm not being arrogant there are a lot of people I've known in my life before I came on the internet . A lot of people . I come up here for fun and recreation . I come up here to enjoy myself .
I come up here to have conversation with folks and to not be a stagatory in the conversation . If people don't notice anything on social media , people come into conversations just to start a damn party . What's up , tory ? How you doing ? Ash ? I know where you're coming from . You're good . I'm going to be honest with you about that , chris .
Even when I've tried to end things with people or disassociate myself with people , a lot of of us do still stay linked for some of the decent conversations that we have had . Some of the stuff like this happens just towards everything off , just like what Carmen's feeling right now . I don't go with the people's broadcasts doing this .
I do not , I do not .
If I don't like somebody , I just don't go on their broadcast .
It's so weird . The kicker is it is so hard . It is so hard for some of these want to be grown folks to not go into a conversation without starting shit or saying some shit . It's hard for people to do that . All you got to do is watch , and I watch a lot of people's broadcasts .
I've been watching people's broadcasts for the past three years myself , and not just talking about people that I know , people that I've known , who they know . I'll watch and I'll listen . All you got to do is pay attention to a bunch of these conversations . Just watch how we twist . People can't have decent conversations without starting a damn argument .
It's mind blowing to me . Leave it to the topic , Leave it to the conversation . Move on from that instead of being a stagatory in your words or in your comments . It's not that hard to me , but for other people it is .
I think people enjoy being able to be behind their keyboard and being nasty . You know what I mean , because there's no real responsibility . None of these motherfucking people would ever say any of this shit to my face . That's what I always think about . Would that person ever say shit to my face ? They wouldn't . They wouldn't Because my hood shit would come out .
You know what I mean . But that's what trolling is , this weird , strange power behind a keyboard to be a nasty human being .
If I don't like what somebody's saying and somebody's like it's happened on Ted's show , right , ted , or whatever , they'll start talking about something and I'm like I'm out , I just , I just leave , I don't even say I'm leaving because I'm mad or I don't like it . I'm just , I'm out , I'm out .
I just don't want you to know If I don't like the show . I don't want you to know If I don't like it , I don't even comment on it . But people can't do that . They cannot do that .
They don't entertain crazy encounters . No , then don't entertain . You're right , chris . Ashley the greed if I don't like someone , I don't want to be around them and I'm not going to demean myself by acting up . Thank you , thank you , go ahead , girl . Melanie said does anyone watch TV ? Not like the program and yell at the TV instead of changing the channel ?
Just curious , melanie , that was good . Just change the channel right Instead of screaming . I like that , it's actually really good . Chris just said just food for thought . Slow down , pray to God for clarity . You can eliminate some of this . No , you're absolutely right . You know what I got upset and I think it's because it's been a long time coming .
What's been really good is that person hasn't been coming on my show . I'm sure they've been watching it because you know this is what some weird people do . But you know it's been fine . I think this was kind of I had to say what I had to say . I'm kind of glad I did Like I got it out of my system .
But you're absolutely right , I wish I was kind of bigger than that ignoring , but it's really hard to like . Either I'm going to ignore everyone in the chat or I'm going to be talking to everybody in the chat , right ? And Rick did a really good job of teaching me to talk to people in the chat , so I kind of had to address that .
I have people blocked all over on all my things , so I guess that person was able to come on because Tony was connected to that .
I have my , I have my channels on , so that's my fault . So I can apologize to everybody else . It's not your fault , I will tell you , I got you . Let me tell you this you can take the channel , the screen , so you ain't got to see it like that , and it can be backstage and not up in front of everybody .
No , because I want to have my channel .
That's why I used to keep mine on . I agree , that's why I used to keep mine on .
I'm not going to do that . All these other good people are giving me spirit at Chris and Ash and Melanie , and there were a couple of other people who are giving like beautiful , uplifting things that are reminding me , that are keeping me in a better space , and Cynthia you know what I mean . So , no , we have a lot .
This is the highest See swearing and yelling . You can't do so many viewers .
And I can't get the Maya Angelou quote out of my head when someone shows you who they are .
Believe them . Believe them , baby , when someone shows you who they are . Believe them the demo plays on your luck . Whatever it is , he will march ahead , Just know .
I try to behave on Carmen's show for everybody . For those that don't know , I do try to behave up here , but I had to go get my beer .
You can have your beer , because I want a beer right now too . Yeah , yeah , yeah . It's okay with you drinking . What wasn't good with Tony's to do back in the day was he would be full . He would eat like fried chicken there it is and then he'd be like flossing . And I was like okay , and he'd be on other people's show . So it was fine .
But I was like please don't , please don't , yes you did .
That's what I wanted to award , though .
Yeah , but we got you . You save girl , you save . Look at so much Cheers . I'm not being angry because I think I had a right to be angry . I do apologize for anyone's ears who might have not liked some of the verbiage I used when I come from . So yes . Thank you for all of you who have been here .
Maybe we'll get a sponsorship and I could stay on the show , somebody . All about enjoy .
Hornets nest . What happens ? Don't be poking on hornets nest if you don't want .
I do want to throw this out there for people in social media you got to stay away from being a staggatorean conversations . I really do try my best to live that way . When I do broadcast , it's crazy as I am , as reckless as I am , and even with the people that abroad cancer I do that . Try to come on there and being a staggatorean .
What you want to do is be contributory to the conversation Over in staggatory to a conversation . If you remember that , you'll see social media in a much better life and how it is being still type , especially on the news in the people's office .
Melannie said , there is someone who doesn't want me , doesn't want me following them , yet they follow me on another point , which is I really use Hmm , exactly see me .
All about the guys .
Don't encourage him . Look , here's a thing . I think it was Chris , he said it earlier . Look at , there's always gonna be trolls . That's not what this . I want to be really clear . This is not some random troll .
This is a long-standing , ridiculous situation with someone who is connected to Tony and they've never been able to come on the show because I blocked them a long time ago and they hate me because I told them what I thought about their relation , her relationship with Tony , whatever . So this isn't just a troll .
This is someone who you know , if anything , you know , if you're religious at all , whatever you believe in . I'm sending them joy and hope . I mean I'm not cussed around because she needed to be cussed out and I needed to let that out , but I still praying for her . I still wish her the well .
I told I , rick , have I ever once wished ill will on that woman ? Never . I always want her to find her way and To figure it out . And the anger towards me ? Here's the irony the anger she has towards me and Andrea , which somehow Andrea was thrown into this , by the way and Ray , who doesn't know her from a hole in the wall .
But the reason why she's angry is we told her a truth that she didn't want to hear , but she asked us about it . So we said the truth , and it's been months . It's been when was it , rick March ?
It's been a while yeah .
I haven't talked to her since , but she ain't . You know . This is someone who needs prayers and love and and , and , and joy , and Good juju or whatever you call it . You know what I mean like good , beautiful spirits . I wish her well , whatever .
But I guarantee you , when you get Out of your life , your life is gonna be so much better , and I had to learn that the hard way .
Oh , yes , you did . I'm glad you learned it though .
¶ Addictions and Goals
So yeah .
Yeah , oh my god , I'm already exhausted . Look at we wasted 50 .
I'm trying to bring what a handle this better .
Who .
Chandler , bring Chandler bang .
Yeah , I , you know , I didn't really want . Oh my god , I have too many text messages .
Girl call me late explain .
Wait , you know it's a funny is I had an agent reach out to me while I was away , which is very interesting .
So I hope he's not watching the show , but I have a feeling he is watching the show because he was interested in and having a conversation with me , and so in my head a part of me is like so well , now you can see the full flavor of All About the Joy , all the side .
I think Chandler Chandler would have been like go away .
I Didn't . You know , I did not . Not regularly , but I saw a lot of episodes , so I mean yeah , I mean I , of course , we all know who friends are or whatever , and I think what's really cool is the newer generation , like my , my niece , Juliana . She's obsessed with friends . So , you know , 15 years old , they all love that show .
And , Cynthia , I knew you would love that show . It's not that I didn't love this show , I just . I think I was more of a Seinfeld person , you know , but it was always must see what was . It was like Thursday nights or something .
And I was going to work doing those hours on . During the 90s I was at work .
Oh , you worked at night back then . Wow , is that when you were in the military ?
When I started in the military , when I used to work at the door track in Alabama we always work like a swing schedule it was over like two-thirds of the bin that right right , right right . So I was always working . That was Sunday , and Thursday was my night off , and Friday , saturday for the busy nights .
So I think the reason why people this is just my opinion , because , you know , even I felt bad I think it's because he had so many struggles with his alcohol and drug addiction . We wanted him to win . Yes , you know what I mean Like , and I think , no matter what happened or why he passed away right when they do the talks , it doesn't matter .
I think there's a part of us that always wants to see the person who's trying so hard to beat something . It's a question and so for him to pass away .
Is he was saying it was hard for him to try to watch the show because he could just look and see like , oh , I was doing alcohol , then I was doing pills . Then by how skinny he was , by how not skinny he was , it was like wow . But , yeah and he's only a year older than me . That's the part that freaks me out .
When somebody guys close to my age , I'm like whoa .
Yeah , I just felt bad . I was shocked at how many people like I think , what what Tony just said ? I felt bad , that people were so , so many people were impacted by his death , but it's .
International like .
I didn't know that .
I watched the movie with him and Selma Hayek fools rush in it . Oh yeah , yeah , that was a good movie .
That's a good one . That's a cute romantic comedy .
Anyway , I didn't feel the impact everybody else did , but I understand this arresting piece to heaven , all honesty .
Yeah , is there any addiction that ? Do any of you have an addiction that you want to share , like I have an addiction to I won't lie chocolate cake . Okay , I don't mean an addiction like him , but I was just saying like it was so interesting , I started thinking about all the things .
Like I'm not , I don't have a very Addictive personality , but I can't resist certain things , is there something you have an addiction to , in a light-hearted way , you know ?
I have a hard time . Cookies for me .
Chocolate really from a certain place , or any chocolate chip cookie any I mean I don't matter . Someone said to me do you prefer cupcakes or slice ?
I'm like it doesn't matter as long as the word cake is in there , we're good there , all the matters .
What were you saying ? One , two , three , four , what are your addictions ?
Money , food , sex , smoking , wait , all travel it yes .
Money . You're addicted to money .
I don't like being broke . I've been broken more than one occasion . It is , it's . It's when you don't worry about it and you have a situation where you did it and nobody will help you . It would change you , so for me , I got Go make money .
Okay .
Even when I'm at right now , I'm at a conference . I'm at a conference for the union on my job and and it's kind of covered I wasn't going to come . I wasn't gonna be able to come if it wasn't covered . So I'm up here , we're teaching each other , we're helping each other . This is actually fun . When I go to work , I normally work overtime .
I've had a lot of emergencies in my life to where the first thing people would tell you is you should have planned better or you should have saved up more . So my focus and I will say it's like an addiction . You got to focus on that . Now , if I'm wrong on that aspect , let me go ahead and throw out there . I got a heavy addiction to sugar .
I will eat any and every type of candy Well , I ain't gonna say any and every type , but I love my hot tamales , my Mike and Iks , my red hot , my lemon heads , cherry heads the apple heads , the cherry ones .
When he said hot tamales , I didn't think he meant the candy .
Yeah , I was taking a second to say that . I got confused .
Confusion . You look at that .
You love Halloween , then Halloween's your favorite .
When I get the candy out at the door . I will swap candy with the kids . They'll be like trick or treat . I'm like bitch , I'm looking for this .
This is what I got .
Wow .
You know what we ?
should have this one that is that's just wrong .
No , it isn't . They have fun . They don't want chocolate .
Kids can negotiate .
Yes , I also sent you guys a message about . You know we're into the last two months of the year , right ? So it's November , december and I was wondering what do you want to accomplish in the next two months ?
Just to get my finances more in order than it is , and I'm slowly but surely working on it .
So that's cool . Chris said sugar . I did that for a few years . I'm like oh , you quit sugar , that's hard . Quitting sugar is hard .
I actually did a fast on myself one year for Lent and because I'm one of these Catholic , so we do Lent , I quit every sugar habit I had . I mean it's candy gum , tea , sweet foods , cold cereal . I just didn't do it for 45 days .
When I was sick when I was sick last week I had no appetite , and when I don't have an appetite , I just simply won't eat . I didn't eat for five days and I lost 10 pounds .
Yeah , but that's not good way to lose weight . Oh , I know , I know that that's a bad thing , being sick and losing weight is not a wish for anybody .
Yeah , I don't even try to .
I don't try to eliminate anything Like . I'm never gonna not eat sugar . I can't even think about that .
Take a break , it'll help you . It will do something . When I did a detox , the first thing- I've never done a diet in my life . I know , but if you ever do a detox , one of the first thing they'll tell you is avoid sugar . It's five different types of sugar . I thought it was only four . I didn't even know there's five different types of sugar .
I was like okay .
The only time I stopped eating something was when I had to have the first colonoscopy . That was the only time I ever did anything like where you have to- .
Save that conversation I had to have a lot to eat . I know I'm just saying , but I don't have a thing , One of the worst times , because I couldn't eat like I wanted to . I was losing my mind .
We were all cracking on Tony . I remember that .
Well , I don't remember this . He did it on Haps .
They must have been on Haps , yeah .
Really , I think we might have been on Haps . Yeah , I was on going through it and they were like what's going on ? I said I can't eat . They told me don't go to work . I had this big inch jug full of that fluid . I'm like okay , they said . I said should I go to work ? They said no , don't go to work . I said okay .
So I'm sitting here thinking I'll be all right .
Yeah , no , it is , you are .
I actually told them . I'm so mad that , as much as I was in the bathroom , I didn't leave you two days later with a body like Captain America . I said this is bullshit , ain't no way to have a body like that for this much , and I don't have a six-pack .
Looking like Lex Luga , I was like this is I was pissed , but I couldn't , and all you could do was drink that fluid . So then I finally did have that . I'm gonna tell you this story . This is gonna be funny , I don't care .
¶ Healthcare, Labor Negotiations, and Valuing Life
I went to the doctor and I'm sitting here like waiting over there , and the girl said you have no idea . So they told me to put the road bar . I'm already mad . I got to wear a robe , cause everybody know where the hospital road is .
It's open in the back and I told them y'all better hurry up , because I'm only I'm clenching and I don't know how long this is gonna be , for you gotta get one of them absorbing pads over there . You better get one of them absorbing pads over there , because when I go to sleep I won't be tense , you'll be fine , I'll worry about it .
So I'm laying on the table and I'm looking around . Right , that is it . What's wrong with you ? I said I'm counting all you motherfuckers , cause if I wake up and I don't feel right , I want to know who the hell I got to go .
Who's ass do I have to pick Like literally ?
Chris said it's hard but it was weird .
I started it due to another indulgement that I stopped . I shifted , but then I realized and stopped the alternative . No listen , I propped to you on the sugar thing . I have other friends who've stopped sugar and dairy , whatever .
I've just never done any of the things and now that I'm older I'm like I'm not gonna , I'm never gonna do it unless a doctor tells me this movie called what to health .
I stopped drinking milk after watching what to health .
I don't . I'm not a big milk drinker . I drink almond milk . I used to be Like in my cereal , whatever , but I don't really . I've never been a big milk person . Although , don't give me fake ice cream , Like I'm gonna eat ice cream . I want regular ice cream . You know what I mean , but I don't want to be good . Right , right right .
I remember the question now , Is there anything ? Any new update as far as Sagaftra ?
They're still negotiating . They had a really good conversation , so we get notifications every day from Fran Dresser and from the SAG committee telling us where they're at . So they still haven't finalized anything , but hopefully they're gonna come . I feel like it's close . It seems like the sticking conversation right now is about AI .
That's what my gut says and the stuff that I was reading . But I feel like we're so close and I really hope that the strike is over with . So many people have been out of work . It's not just the actors but , yes , all of these actors have been out of work , but it's all the crews and all the producers and it goes all the way down .
It hits marketing , it hits all the restaurants when you go film somewhere . So it really is , I think , starting to affect people . So I hope you know , woo-hoo , hope and pray that this happens , hopefully soon . I'm feeling it . I'm feeling it . I want it to be . You know what I mean ?
I wanted to read one thing that I got was interesting because and then we're gonna stop it . So I read this in the paper this morning On Sunday , gary Hobish , 70 , collapsed during a weekly swing dance gathering in Golden Gate Park here in Northern California .
His friend , tim O'Brien , raced to the nearby D Young Museum in search of a defibrillator , pleading with a staff member to let him use the lifesaving device . The staffer checked with his boss and delivered a firm answer the defibrillator was not to leave the building . Mr O'Brien returned empty-handed and Mr Hobish died . So this museum is getting a lot of backlash .
It's called D Young Museum .
It's about to become the old museum , Old museum , old ass museum right .
I was shocked that the staff person went and asked somebody if they could use it Like don't you think that's weird ? But I read that because I think it's kind of a microcosm of what I think our country is in right now .
We're in a really weird place , but imagine your grandfather , your father , your brother , whatever it is , 70 years old , died because somebody wouldn't help him .
Yeah , isn't that weird , that's true . But if the owner was offsite they would have been like , yeah , go ahead .
It doesn't even make any sense to me . Was the staff person young and didn't know ? To me it doesn't matter . I don't know how young could you be working at a museum ? Let's say you're 18 . Let's just . I'm sure they weren't , but let's say you're 18 . Have we gotten to a place in our lives that someone is asking for a defibrillator ?
That means somebody is having a heart moment . They are about to die , Like , I don't care how old you are , you save a person's life . Yes , Chris , I think we're in a bad place and I think I wanted to read that . To bring that up .
Chris is correct . Now , the thing with the defibrillators is you have to be certified to use them .
No , the whole point of the defibrillator is that they're easy enough to help anyone , so they're always around .
You gotta be certified to use them . But you gotta be certified to use them . I gotta get training on the area .
If somebody came to me and asked for a defibrillator . I would give it to them to try to help .
Because what's the worst ?
thing that can happen the person could die .
So I don't have to be in a state Okay .
But Tony , do you see ? Okay ? But here's my point . You're doing exactly what I'm afraid of . I don't wanna get sued , so I'm not gonna try to help someone .
I'm with you . You can do CPR without the defibrillator .
No , the reason why we have a defibrillator is so that we can try to help someone who's having a heart issue . That's the whole point of having them around .
I understand .
They're everywhere . You know what I mean . Like that's the whole point . Should you know how to use one ? Yes , should you ? Right , the person went to ask for one because he knew his friend was dying . Yeah , here's my thing .
If I get fired for saving somebody's life , then fire me .
Yeah , exactly , if I'm having a heart issue or you think I'm dying , I want you to do everything you can to try to save me . Okay , and I'll put it out there in public . I will not sue you if I die .
I don't know . We have it on record .
We have it on record . Now I just think we're in a bad place . I remember when we valued life so much that you wouldn't question something or we wouldn't even be having an argument . Can you ? Could you have to ? Don't you have to be certified ? The whole reason why defibrillators are around us because they're so easy to use . Right ?
And , by the way , doing CPR is very different now than when we were growing up , where you were breathing in people's mouths , Like I don't think people have been certified in a long time . You don't do that anymore , right ? You just do the compressions on the chest . You do not breathe in someone's mouth anymore .
Go ahead , you don't breathe in people's mouth anymore .
You get a face mask thing . I just had a training issue .
I know , I know . But , tony , if me and you were out hanging out , do you have a face mask to put on me ? That's what I'm saying .
At least we're defibrillating and don't break nobody's ribs either .
Right , you don't break anybody's ribs Just watching every episode of emergency qualify me too .
Yes , I certify you right now .
If it does , tell me . If it does .
I watch emergency e-ar cold red , all of that mess traffic dog and then you see nothing else Is the emergency keeping on anymore yeah , in the old TV channel .
Yeah , what's that me ?
too , Cynthia thank you .
Cynthia works in a hospital . Correct compression only , exactly , yes , yeah , because now that you don't put your mouth to another person's mouth anymore .
Anyways , I just wanted to mention that , like , I just feel like we're in a really weird place and there's so much hate and anger and I just exhibited all of mine in the beginning of this podcast , so clearly , we all have a lot of work to do with our own selves as well . I'm going to say goodnight to everyone . Can you hear us ?
Yes , my earpods died . Oh yeah , I'm here .
Okay , all right .
¶ Thanking Fans and Promising More Excitement
Thank you everyone for stopping by to a fantastic and crazy show .
I got it Great numbers , great numbers .
You know what ? I'm just going to start this show off every week screaming at somebody . I guess I should just start yelling and screaming and , like you know , just getting really gang and ghetto-fied or whatever , like back in the day and get our numbers up and look at people who are still here . So that's good . It's really weird . Thank you for stopping by .
I really appreciate you all . I miss you and , yeah , we'll do it again next week . Bye everyone , thank you .
Good night .
Good night . Good night , thanks for stopping by . All about the joy Be better and stay beautiful folks have a sweet day .