¶ Work, Life, and Future Plans
Hi everyone welcome to all about the joy . I can't believe you just did that . What do we call this ?
I don't know .
It's not the logo , but it's something All about the joy . Yeah , that clip was kind of funny , right ? I thought it was so good , oh my gosh . So how are you doing ? What's going on with you ?
It's all right . It was crazy busy at work . I definitely did not finish everything I was supposed to do , but well , try to catch up tomorrow . What are you going to do ? I'm only one person . I can do . When you do what I can do .
So when you say you haven't caught up with work yet , like , do you always finish at the end of the day everything you got to do ?
For the most part . Yeah , pretty much . Yeah , there's sometimes . Sometimes there's like little things I'm like , oh , that's not a rush of curate , but there was some things that I really should have tried to get done but I just couldn't . It was just too busy .
Okay . Are you the type of person , though , that if you don't get something done , then you kind of turn around and you're like stressed about it and you can't sleep and no , I try as soon as the . Rick's like . No , I also take naps during the day . Thank you , Carmen .
Once the clock is 530 , work don't exist . No more , like I don't think about it . I'm like on to the next thing I got to do . I ain't time to think about nothing , no more . Once in a blue moon , not gonna lie . Once in a blue moon I'll be like laying down getting ready to come . I'm going to sleep and I'm like oh shoot , I didn't do something .
But that's rare , rare . I hear you . I just wanted to ask you to come .
Thank you . Have a good night , cynthia Hi .
Oh , I feel like a chicken with my head cut off . Hold on , oh , we got to get . So we both clearly just took a shower , so why are you just freshly washed , cynthia ?
So from work I had to come home , drop off some stuff which is like a half hour away , pick up the baby , because the baby's gonna be here this weekend . Then we went to go get food . We finally got back probably about eight , 30 . I was like I gotta run and get a shower . Yeah , gotta be on . Carmen's show that was your only thought process , right ?
I like kicked one out the room and everything . Okay , and that's how it should be .
Okay , no spouses allowed . So I was just finishing up with Rick asking him this question about does he after , like , if he has a day , like he had today , where he didn't finish all his work at 5.30 , does it stress him out ? Can he not sleep at night , or whatever ? And he answered yeah , no .
For the most part . But go ahead , rick . Yeah , so for the most part , yeah , I don't . Only once in a while I'm like I'll remember something I should have did and I was like , oh man , mario , tony , in the building .
Hi Mario , hi Tony , tony's in the building .
Tony , I sent you an email .
Oh , okay , are you gonna be going over to Ted's space , is that ?
what's happening ?
Oh my gosh , not that funny .
Are you trying to ? I'm just kidding , I'm just kidding . So I you know what . I actually had a great week at work , even though every place at work there's some drama going on . But I think I've come to this realization that I'm gonna do this for another year and I'm out .
I came up with this the other day and I'm like oh , cynthia , tony just said laugh out loud and I responded Okay , okay , haven't checked the answer . Okay , we all wanna know . Okay , we're just gonna be like Cynthia and Tony got something going on , cause they communicate .
Oh .
God , secretly , I really came to this realization like I think it was last weekend .
I woke up and I had finished an interview that I did and I was like you know what , as much as I hate editing you all know I hate editing whatever the process of doing the prep work , the conversation , the trying to figure it out I don't mind that as much as I do managing teams or trying to work with people in offices Everybody , just , it's just not what
I've ever wanted to do . There's too many personalities you have to like deal with . Okay , here's the difference . When I'm on set with one of my clients or whatever , it's so much more fun , cause it's a creative environment and people are doing a job that is to an end goal and so they're like a team .
I feel like the people that I work with on a regular basis are miserable at their jobs . I mean not miserable at their jobs , but it's just there's no joy . I know it sounds like a bit cheesy and you know what I don't wanna do accounting and bookkeeping and financial stuff and for some reason I've got sucked back . I mean , I know the reason .
I was talking to Billy , who's my brother from another mother , and I was like I don't know how I got myself back into this . I still . I'm so mad at myself . He's like bitch , you gotta pay the right huh . That's how you got yourself into this . I was like you know , Okay , you're not wrong , you know what I mean .
So , but I made the decision about a week ago and I came to terms with it this past week and like I'm doing this for another year and I'm done , you know , like I don't care what that means If I have to move in with this I'm like , hey , hey , but I'm gonna do this for another year and I'm out and I , okay , I'll say this part and then I wanna get
to Cynthia and her work week . I just I don't wanna waste this much time doing something I don't love . And if you spend time doing this all the time , this is what you become . You know what I mean , and I just don't think that's what we're supposed to be doing .
No matter how good you are at your job , no matter how much you bring to the table , I just feel like there's something else that I'm supposed to be doing , and maybe it's more of this and maybe not , because this is a . You know , I played the lottery today too , so you know what I mean , but we'll see . But , cynthia , what about you ?
I know you love what you do , but- .
Okay , so I don't love what I do . I love some of the people I work with , but I feel the same way , like I feel like I'm at a point right now where I'm thinking the same thing , like I just wanna be here for a little bit longer . Once I come back from my vacation in June , if I haven't gone into grad school , then I'm looking for another job .
But Cynthia , so you are going to grad school though , right , I'm confusion , though .
Well , I haven't gotten accepted yet because I still have to do the GREs , which is like a SAT type of thing for grad school . So you know , depending on that , and if I get in , we'll determine in July whether I'm gonna start looking for another job or I'll be starting school in the fall .
Wait , but didn't you go to school and work at the same time before ? Oh , but you don't wanna do that no more .
Yeah , but no , I don't wanna do that , no more . And grad school what I'm going for it's in class . You can't really do it online because you have to be with cadavers and you have to do all this other research and stuff .
Oh yeah , let's also tell everyone what you wanna be doing .
Forensic anthropology . Okay , dead bodies , that's all .
I heard right , Isn't that what everybody heard ? I wanna work with dead bodies , right ? That's all I heard .
If that doesn't work , she could star on the next version of the show Bones .
Is that another version of the show Bones ?
No , oh , I was like , we can create our own .
I'm having no . Yeah , I loved that show .
I'll be the geeky guy just kidding . What do ?
you mean the geeky guy , the one who actually a murderer ? Yeah , the tech guy .
Oh , I didn't see the one thing , was it really ?
He actually becomes a murderer .
This is a different version .
Yeah , you should watch the show . Spoiler alert . Actually , what I was gonna say was Ryan O'Neill played the father of Tempest . What's her name ? Tempest Brennan , right , who's the ? That's the character name of the show and she's the lead . What is she ? Forensic blah , blah , blah . Anthropologist .
Anthropologist .
Cynthia wants to be , and he played the father and he just passed away in December , right , so may he rest sweet peace .
But yeah , I mean , my job has lately become very I can't say unbearable , because you do what you have to do Because , like you said , you got bills to pay . But I'm just starting to see a lot of favoritism happening and stuff like that . What do you mean ? Well , I mean , do they not watch ?
the show , everyone in your office ? No , I'm just saying .
Honestly , I don't know .
I'm like be careful what you say . We're like huge okay .
I don't say any names , but apparently other people have been seeing it too , Really so and like passive , aggressive comments and I'm just like . So I keep to myself and just do my work and once I'm off at 4.30 , 4.29 hits , I'm checked out .
You know , I made a mistake the other day . Accidentally I sent a document to the wrong person and it revealed information they shouldn't have known . And it was a mistake . I know I did it because I was trying to do too much . I was trying to because , I mean , just to give everyone a little flavor , I have different clients .
So like , let's say , monday morning I go see one client in the morning , then I have to drive across town , I see another client by one o'clock and then at one o'clock I'm in a meeting or whatever , and then I leave that client and I'll come back home , I'll eat dinner and then I'm reading emails for my Tuesday client .
Right , it's kind of like when you have a small business . That kind of is what happens . And then and then you do the same system again and look at it , I'm not complaining because I have work and I get paid fairly well for what I do , you know .
But the other night I got home and I was trying to do this stuff and anyway I ended up sending the wrong document to the wrong person and that's not a mistake you ever wanna make . You can imagine the ramifications of what kind of document I might be talking about , but thankfully this person was pretty cool about it .
I was like , yeah , don't worry about it , it's all good . But that's how I was like you know what ? It's gotta stop , because I'm eating dinner and I'm trying to scan stuff and I'm like whoa , when did that happen ?
Yeah , and it's so easy for it to happen because , of course , I work in the hospital , so you have to be very careful to put the wrong paperwork or document in someone else's chart . So we have someone who does some of our faxes online and stuff like that .
She'll go and put them in the chart and it's been a couple of times that she's put the wrong document in someone's chart and you have to call medical records , you have to make sure they fix it and it's a big process .
But it's like something like that can get into the wrong hands and you're giving someone's information and mistakes do happen , you know , but it happens when you're doing too much and like I emailed him today and I just , of course , I just apologized , but I couldn't sleep all night .
I couldn't sleep all night because I was like I can't believe I did that . It wasn't even that I was stressed at because I was like it's done , what am I gonna do ? Like you only have 30 seconds in Google to retrieve your document and even then you don't know if you got it back .
You know , and I didn't even do it fast enough and you had gone , but I felt so bad because it was such a stupid , careless mistake , because I'm tired and I don't love what I do . On the flip side , I'll be up at two in the morning editing that's podcast . I was gonna say stupid podcast .
I'm sorry .
My podcast is not stupid , but like I'll be up at two in the morning , you know , on a Saturday night to be like trying to , and I'll be like I gotta get it together , whatever , and just hoping and listening to it for like the 19th time to make sure it's the best I can do .
It's never perfect and I make mistakes , I'm sure , but you know , and I'll be fine
¶ Exploring Careers and Interests
with that . But I'm Tanya , I think , after all the , I've been doing this since 2000 . Well , 1995 I got here , so let's say I really got into the rhythm of it in 1999 . But yeah , let's say 2000, . I've been doing this same kind of work and intermittently doing acting or whatever . I don't even have time for that , no more .
You know what I mean what Acting ? I wanna write my second book . I wanna you know what I mean I wanna do stuff and I'm like this is not smart what I'm doing . Somehow I got right back into it . So how do we take the steps for you guys to do ? Well , you know what , rick , we didn't ask you Ultimately , what would you want to be doing ?
Honestly kind of what I do online . You know the whole ministry type of thing and helping people that way and sharing , you know , the knowledge that I have is a lot of people that are new to the faith and they don't know nothing .
But why don't you just scam people like other people do and make a lot of money ? Why don't you just be like here's an ointment that will help you if you love the Lord . This is 59.95 . And I'll be your actress . I can work on my acting skills . You can annoy me , I'll pay . I just want 10% , that's all . Okay . We'll get sick . We have balls .
We can do some advertising for us with our beautiful artwork . Hey , I'm just so kidding , I'm going to get some magic . Go ahead , rick .
I'm sorry . Yeah , I mean , that's what , like you know , like I sometimes say to people like people say , like how do you do this every day ? You've been doing this for eight years , never missed a day . How do you do that ? Like , isn't that a lot of work ? And I'm like no , for me , I enjoy doing that , I like it .
I get it's I don't want to say entertaining , but I do get joy out of doing it and it's an outlet for me and I can just be my goofy self with people and you know , just be me . I feel like I'm more me when I'm doing that . I think that's kind of a key thing . Like what do you feel like you more when you're doing ?
whatever that is , that's interesting .
So can I ask you how come you never got into like the actual ministry , like into the actual should become a priest or a pastor , or how come you never got into that ?
I mean I was in church until my mom , the old mom dementia thing . So I was like Sundays , wednesdays , another day for choir practice and my church is an hour away . So I was a lot of gas money and I was very involved .
I was very involved so , yeah , and people would , could , would accidentally , including the pastor himself say , pastor Rick , and I'm like that happens all the time . So that's why when I went to Paris school I started broadcasting . People started doing it there .
I'm like , okay , I used to call you pastor Rick , because I thought that I thought you were a pastor and then you were like I'm not a pastor , I'm like well , bitch , I'm calling you Rick .
Then I was like I'm not a pastor , so many people kept .
Go online , I'm sure you could become a real man . Oh yeah , you definitely can pay for that .
Yeah , but , like so many people , kept doing it and like I'm like , okay , you trying to tell me something Like what's going on . And then I was like you know what , whatever , if you want to do that , if that's how you view me , okay , that's what I'm like .
Yeah , I don't view you like that , no more . But you guys can call me pastor Carmen , I'd like that . Or goddess , you can call me goddess Carmen , that'll work .
Your highness . How about your highness ? Your highness works . Your majesty , your majesty all those things are .
or you could just say hey beautiful , hey beautiful queen , I'm good with that .
Queen , queen is good .
So I mean , I think you and I have talked about this before , rick about , like how , the ways in which we can turn around and find a way for you to gather an income . I think the problem is and this is the same thing with me it's like I don't want to sell something like on TikTok .
If you go on TikTok , every five minutes they tell you to become a creator person or whatever and join up and I'm like I have no interest whatsoever to do it that way . I'm not a salesperson and I don't want to sell somebody else's candle Like . You know who I'm talking about , right ? What's the guy with the axe who's always building the wood ? He's so hot .
You know what I'm talking about . Look at Rick's like . No , I do not know . He's like there's a guy on I know most people who have TikTok know who I'm talking about and even the men will not tonight but there's a guy on TikTok who he cuts wood . That's his whole thing .
He just and he's muscular and he always has his shirt off and he has all those tats . And just recently he started selling a candle and a spray to smell like the wood . That I did not buy , Although I was tempted .
But what was weird is he started it sold out really fast because you know everybody wanted it and it's supposed to smell like the woods or something . I mean , he's actually really cool guy . I forget his name , I know somebody's going to know it . But long story short .
Then he said look at , the best thing about doing what I do is that now you can also , if you like the candle or whatever , you can buy it , and you can also sell it yourself and get a percentage . And I'm like so TikTok is doing that .
So if I buy something from somebody else , like I bought that book , I could go in and do like a little advertising , put the link at the bottom and then you get a little revenue from selling that as well as they get it . Christ just said Rick is gathering riches in heaven .
When you do what God's called you to do , it's enough , okay , I'm just saying he could have a little bit here too . That's all I'm saying , I believe you , I'm just saying the Lord works in mysterious ways and I hope it's in a way that he can find more joy and wealth in that way .
But I agree with you , but it's just not something I want to do , like I don't want to sell on TikTok or something sense . Yeah , cynthia's thinking about it . Cynthia's like let me see what I could say . Nah Well , how could you , cynthia , do what you have to do ?
So I mean , I've put this out there a few times with people about if anybody who works with dead stuff , dead people have a connection . My cousin , cynthia , is looking for a job in that area . So , okay , that's not the right way to say it , it's not dead stuff . Funeral homes no Morgue . Oh , oh , that sounds so wrong . You would work in a morgue .
Or crime scene . Let's put it that way . How about that crime ?
scene Wait what ?
do you mean a crime scene ? You would go work with the police and do crime , just like , like .
NCIS Like , oh yeah , like Bones and NCIS , they go out into the thing . Yeah , I'm gonna do that too . It doesn't sit right with me , but if anybody out there knows of somebody who might have a connection in the whole death industry , please reach out , because Cynthia would like her foot in the door . It's just so wrong .
You definitely have to be at the certain type of person to like doing that , because the majority of people probably are like ew , but some people are like no , it's fascinating , it's interesting to me , and that's them , that's cool .
It's funny because one of the doctors I work for she was asking me what I wanted to do and I'm telling her she's like no , that's so wrong .
I'm like you deal with them alive , I don't deal with them when they're dead , they can't talk back to me , they can't yell at me Exactly .
I knew somebody . I mean , I didn't really know them , but I remember , way back in the day , they used to do makeup for the Like . You don't realize everything that's involved when somebody dies , but they do all the makeup . Oh yeah , the person who has passed away .
And I was like just thinking like foundation , whatever , and and when you spoke to this person , this was like a friend of a friend . I remember this woman , tanya , was my friend and then she introduced me to this person and I was just like I'll never forget it , you know .
I mean , I was like this is grossed out , you know like , but she said that it was harder because it's a different type of makeup and a different type of thing to make people look as natural as possible . I'm like , I believe you . I believe you .
I like I remember my cousin . She died when she was like 34 and she had she died of cancer . You know , you know , when you get cancer , usually you like whether or way to nothing . You know so to like give us pictures and stuff , what does she look like when she was all the other ?
And then you know , you get to the place and you see her and you're like Wow . You of course you're sad because you know there's your dead relative , but at the same time you're like they did an amazing job . She looked so much better . Yeah and it's like with her it was , it was cool , it was nice . They made her look really , really nice .
Her stepmother I said police , police , what happened , what happened ? This is not good .
We're all taking words from Terry K . We gotta give love to that big talker man , because I'm always saying I'm confusion , now I can't like or I love this for us , and now Rick is like police I love it .
Oh my god , why ?
did she look horrible ? She looked the worst .
I was like I wasn't even sure if it was her . I was like , what did y'all do ?
Yeah it was , wow , it wasn't a professional , then that wasn't a professional . Wow , this isn't the way I thought this Conversation Right . So the part of life is part of life ? No , no , no , I look at I , I do want this for you because I know it's something you really want to do and I love that you want this . I don't know where you get it from .
Is it the solving of the crime or is it really the dead body part ?
No , I think it's more of of solving the crime and or solving like why they pass things like that .
Um , chris just said oh yeah , more two rary cosmetologists , very specialized occupation , yes , and I and I am Look at as much as I'm creeped out about it it's mostly because I don't want to ever be comfortable with losing people . I think , yeah , I think that's really what it is .
You know , like you start reanalyzing All the people who've died in your life or whatever . Like the first thought in my head was like , oh my god , when my mom died , did they do that ? You know , I didn't even see her . You know , I mean , like I started thinking those things . But , um , yeah , I mean no disrespect .
I think it's a very I mean , as much as I make fun of Cynthia , it's not . I'm impressed . I don't understand where she gets it from and you've been saying this for years . It's not like a new thing . This is what you've always wanted to do . I wanted to be a dancer , cynthia wanted to be a A .
I still don't know what it is a working with dead person thing ? We're just saying tomato , tomato . We all have different lives .
Chris . Chris said either way spiritual or creepy .
Right , right . So I mean you would work in a funeral home or a mortuary ? What are other plate like cemeteries ? No , no , you don't want to work in a hospital . I mean , yeah , why can't you get a connection through your work ? I'm confused by this .
It's funny because I have asked around and not one single person that I know know someone who works in the mortuary .
How funny is that could you go down there , like you know , bring your lunch or whatever and be like hey .
How you doing .
Lunch with you and these people later .
I'm thinking I'm thinking of ncis , like you know what I mean . Like gims comes down in the elevator . I know that's not , nor I don't know if you guys watch ncis , ncis , but it cracks me up because I'm pretty sure everybody doesn't come down to the mortuary and sit around and chit chat the dead body , like the other night I was watching it .
There's like four dead bodies sitting there and they're all just chit chatting about you know the crime scene . That was weird , way too comfortable , like I know that's not what happens . So your goals this year is to hey , keith , how are you ? Happy thursday , welcome . So your idea , cynthia , right now is you're taking your gres one in april .
In april , did that book send you help ? It's helping . I have to take credit as much as possible because when you become very successful and famous and whatever , I want to make sure that you remember and everyone knows that it was all me buying you one little book . It's all I'm saying .
¶ Death Industry and Coffins Discussion
Brian just said in high school I was in woodshop and I wanted to be a casket maker . Big money , really . Wow , hi brian , how you doing , how do y'all ? Oh , wow , that's . You know what ? I don't think we take into account all the jobs that are involved in death . Death , all about the joy , all about the joy . Hey , oh , that's ed .
This is ed , who works at a funeral place came at the perfect time . It's keith , though , right .
Keith is the real name , yeah .
You know what ? I've reached out to you too many times , ed , and you have not responded . This is my cousin , cynthia , who wants to be in the death industry . I don't know what to say yet . If you could please connect with her and help her . She's been wanting to do this for like 20 years and this is our , okay , keith , cynthia , cynthia , keith .
We know him as ed Ed , right , yeah , so hi , I always forget that his name is Keith . But yeah , it's so funny to have this conversation . So you take your GREs in april and if you pass , it's all because of me . If you fail , I had no do it . You know what I mean . Like , that's how that's gonna go .
Hmm , can be yeah , what , what , what I can't we never thought that those cask is a very detailed like art pieces . Yeah , they really are . That I do remember , unfortunately , because I've gone to too many funerals . But yeah , you take it for granted . You take it for granted what's involved in that whole entire process .
Yeah , so if you pass the GREs , then you go into school in August .
Well , hopefully I have to send that in with my application . If I get accepted then I'll go into school in the fall .
OK , brian said I did a report about the mortuary business and learned a lot . In some parts of Africa , when the person has passed away , their coffin is their occupation .
Oh , I don't think I understand .
So I think it's made into that right , Like they make the coffin in kind of design .
It represents what they did in life the coffin that design .
See . That just made me more sad . I think Egyptians do that too . I want my coffin to be something other than like she did . Organizational management , please make kind of answer a performer , please . I don't care , please , please , what were you saying , cynthia ? I'm sorry . What area is she currently ? What mortuary school are you playing to attend ?
She's in Boston and I don't think she's going to mortuary school . Cynthia , why don't you talk to Keith ?
So I'm applying to be a medical .
This is so weird . Ed , if you want to come up , you can come up . Rick , can you send him the link ? I don't think I'm friends with him on Facebook .
I probably am , I think .
He must be friends with one of us . Yeah , he got to be . If Ed would like to come up , that would be great , but you're not going to a mortuary school , you're going to For forensic anthropology , so hopefully I'll get into BU Medical OK . Well , if he wants to come up , that's great . Either way , I will try to connect you again , because I've tried .
That would be a great connection .
And then , if you don't decide to go to school , for whatever reason because I know it's not as easy as like you pass a test , you go whatever you know it's all money to and blah , blah , blah , whatever You're trying to , just you're just going to try to change your job trajectory into the field that you want to go in , just getting your foot in the door ,
no matter what .
Yeah , yeah , just basically getting out where I am now getting out of there .
Yeah . So my whole plan is I'm going to win the lottery this weekend . It's just going to happen . You're going to put that out there . The energy I'm going on , my vacation is OK . I'm going to come back and I'll be like and I'm done . I'm going to do it . That's my plan . We'll see if it works this time . Oh , let me see .
Brian said coffins are beautiful works of art . I have design . You have designs for your coffin . Wow , I can come up for a few minutes heading home . Oh great , were you able to send him the link ? Oh , you can meet Ed . I didn't call him Ed , didn't we call him ?
We used to call him Ed , but his real name's Keith , so Brian thinks ahead . He got his coffin playing . Wow , I didn't think about that .
Little Brian , you have to share . We want to see it . Yeah Well , do we really want to see it ?
No , we don't . I don't want to see people's coffins . I'm just getting comfortable with the idea of my cousin working in the death industry . Ok , that's not the right way to say that . What is the right way to say it ? Not the death industry , that's not right . Forensic anthropology yeah , thingamajigie yeah , it's just forensics , forensics , forensics , right .
Burial or cremation , cynthia , which one are you going to do ?
Honestly , I haven't decided yet . I'm not sure , rick .
I used to be burial , burial period , but now I'm like I don't know if I carry the weight , because I'm going to be here anymore . Do whatever you want .
I'm cremation . I'm just too claustrophobic to be in a coffin . That's your biggest sense . I know I'd rather be .
Oh my gosh , She'd rather be burned in a box .
That reminds me of a Ricky Smiley skit he did where he played the old lady , because he always does that . And she said me and my husband want to come down , we want to look at caskets for when it's time for him to go , and we just want to know what we could do . First , we want to fit him for one . You want to climb in it .
So he just want to make sure he's going to be comfortable . There's nothing , and you know , in case he gets hung , we want to put some little debbies in there and put a radio in there in case he gets bored . What are you doing . It was really funny .
Oh , I did not see this . Oh , my God .
And he's talking to a real person at a funeral home , Like they don't know . It's a joke , oh my God .
That's a lame joke . You know what I'm like crying . It's moving in context .
Oh my God , See , I was just so think I was going to be buried , like with my mom . But then I'm like , even though this may sound horrible , I don't think I want to be buried anymore , because I feel like nobody would come visit me , because honestly and again it sounds bad I don't visit my mom , I don't visit my grandma .
Well , they're not really there , are they ? They're not there .
Right , exactly , so you know , I think I might be cremated Well you know where I want my ashes spread right ?
Yes , everybody who's come to California is part of the tour . No exact spot . It's so sad . You know . What's even worse is like my God , children are all like . Oh my God , we know . Poor Juliana , I think , was like every time we walk by it is like I got , since she was three , like it's overlooking the ocean .
She'll leave you to fully have to be very careful because it's against the law to do it , which makes no sense to me . But whatever , you guys can just do it what they're going to do , make you pick it up . Hello , you mean so dark . What do you girls do for a living ? Oh , I'm going to tell you in a second , but let me bring up .
Let me bring him up . How are you ?
I was the best day of my life . How are you ?
I'm doing good . Cynthia meet Ed . Ed meets Cynthia . Thank you for coming up .
Hello , hello , hello . How are you guys ? What's up ?
Good how are you ?
You know what ? I never called you Ed , I called you Mr Edward .
Yeah either one . Hello Rick , how you doing brother Good , how are you ? Oh , it was the best day of my life . Good seeing you . Hello , cynthia , nice to meet you .
Nice to meet you .
Can you tell her a little bit about what you do and share with everyone ?
Well , I've been a death care professor for 35 years and I own a company that worked with funerals and cemeteries and crematories throughout the United States . I also do international shipping , where we ship bodies around the world , so you guys could connect and you could maybe give her some advice .
Would that be cool ? I'd really appreciate that . I know you want it
¶ Death Care and Forensic Differences
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Oh yeah , but the difference is that she is going to be working in the hospital , which is outside of the funeral profession itself . But what happened is a lot of hospitals actually have their own places when people pass and we go and do removals from hospitals nursing home .
So the advice I can give her , it depends on if she wants to work in the coroner's office in Boston or somewhere else . We have contacts there . We also have some funeral homes in Boston . If she wants to , when she goes through schooling that she may want to do a residency where she can go and do some work and work with some funeral directors .
Already we can do some of those things to get her some exposure . But while she's in school the school may also have those kind of co-ops . Also .
Some of those schools have programs , like here in California , ucla have a program where people can go through and work with funeral homes and work with people that's doing that reconstructive surgery when people have accidents and stuff like that . So there's all different kind of things from in bombing , cremation , just depending on what people choose .
But your path is not funeral homes , your path is medical right .
Yeah , so you go into school for forensic anthropology .
Okay , yeah , so that's the difference of the field . Most of our funeral embalmers and funeral directors are licensed embalmers and they actually work with the remains of people that passed away . They're not really doing forensics in reference to the law , so it's just being yeah , yeah , I still feel like this is a really good connection .
Yes , but how are you ? I think , wait , it's death care . See , I wasn't saying the right word . I love how you just taught me that death care yeah .
Yeah , it's called the death care , it's called the death care profession . That's what it is . So when people pass away , we celebrate their life , we don't mourn their death . That's what death care is . And we help families have the talk of the lifetime , because a lot of people never sit down and have the conversation .
So we deal with end of life matters because end of life matters . That's what we do every single day .
I love that . How are you doing ? I know today is the best day of your life because you are the embodiment of positivity and joy , but how have you been doing ? Since the last time we saw you , we've been doing great .
We have a new grandchild , Aliyah .
Love .
Aliyah Love , our daughter and her husband . February 5th , 9.15 pm at 8, . 8 pound , 11 ounces , 20 inches , brand new baby girl and the name is Aliyah .
What's her name ? Aliyah Love .
Aliyah love . That's a good name .
That's a good name , okay .
So I love it , just like mother . Like like our other granddaughter , her name is Kiera Kiera Faye . She's number two in the United States in kit cars . She drives 60 miles an hour at eight years old , but she wants to be a formula one driver . That's probably . That's probably where . That's probably where most of my wife has decided to Invest her money . Wow .
Okay , so , at eight years old , racing cars and Wow , okay , that is amazing .
So it uh . Since that time , our son-in-law and our daughter also passed a California barbs and they just had their thing . And my son , who has been a mechanical engineer , actually works in the ports of Long Beach as a Logistic manager making sure that things are being taken . Her and his wife is also a Short what we call short haul .
She hauls Different products here locally from all over Southern California all the way up to Fresno , sacramento and back all . It's all day trips . You can go for five hours one way and five hours back .
So , wow , so you are having the best life ever . Wow , I'm so happy for you .
Well it's . I credit my wife because she is the one who is the CEO of our family . I car to the chief encouragement officer . She gives us all together and she encourages all to be the best we can be , and I'm just happy that she chose me , that's all . I'm very proud of her .
Oh , that's beautiful . Hmm , wow , I'm just so glad we got to see you and that you came up , and I'm glad you got to meet Cynthia . I'll exchange you guys emails again so maybe you guys can connect if that's okay of course , but you said you're trying to contact me .
I don't know where you try to contact me at .
You have , yes , your emails . You know what ? I also have your phone number , but I didn't bother you with your phone number . But I can give her your phone number . Yeah , is that okay ?
Yeah , you should have that . Yeah , of course you should have texted me , though , because I think the email that I give on social media is Is my AOL account , so I don't check that often because you , you know , I Just go in here and I don't have that on my phone as noted .
Okay , I didn't want to be rude and and do the text thing , because the last time I asked if we could do the email . But I will , I will give her , I will exchange text messages with the two of you and I'm just I'm very grateful and I will owe you one .
Yeah , you know me if I have an opportunity to Give her access to certain things . Like I said , the school that she's probably . Are you going to Boston ? What school you gonna be going to attend ? Well , I'm applying to BU medical . Oh , be you , okay , boston University . Okay , so you should . Uh , yeah , the school will have a lot of programs .
Make sure you get a hold of a counselor . Uh , just ask him if you could work within the hospitals . A lot of the hospital . Well , she works in the hospital right now , do you know the seated administrator ? the seated administrator because all hospitals have a decedent step .
I don't know .
Yes , so you should go . So you should go and introduce yourself to the decedent Administrator , and that person will have a lot of context , because they're the one who actually control the remains of when they go and how they're facilitated to the different mortuaries within Boston .
Okay , so , and that that just gives you some more insight and also thought of your hospital . Has a social worker that work in the death care space ?
Okay , I love that . See , that makes it better death care space . I knew I wasn't off . I kept calling it the death industry . That was wrong .
Death care yeah , we don't , we don't have any .
I had heard it from you before , but I wasn't . I wasn't making it . I heard it from someone . It might have to be you . Who else have I spoken to about the subject ? Nobody .
Yeah , I think I'm the only one . I think I'm the only one you ever interviewed .
We should do another interview . I mean , it's kind of like we're doing it now , but I would love to do another formal interview with you , maybe on the in the private lounge . But we'll talk about that later . We'll talk about that later .
Yeah , yeah , definitely .
Right , but wasn't the thought process and I can be wrong , since it wasn't the thought process that you wanted to move into , at least being part of that . Even though they're two different industries , this would be closer . Yeah , being around . I don't know how to say it correctly . I'm not . I don't need to speak for you , go ahead that's care .
No , it's death care profession . It's okay , but but based on what you said , Cynthia , I just want to make sure you're going because you want to be a forensic Correct the scientists correct in death care . That's . That's a difference . Yeah , so we're we .
When we do in the death care space , we're dealing more with just the embalming , one-line Adam dressing and casketing , which is completely different . Some of them are doing autopsy . Some of them do what we call reconstructive surgery .
If people want to view their loved one after an accident and they went through a windshield or something like that , or they had a lot of glass in their face that can go and reconstruct it . There's all different kind of things . Burn victims who got burned and they still want to have a viewing . Those are the kind of things we do outside of Just .
The forensic partner has said forensics deals with more of the crime right , my god , this is so not how I thought this was gonna go . Oh , we cover all subjects . We have a question from somebody , from Wolfie well , it's Doug , but I call him Wolfie . Quite often , after loved ones death , there can be all kinds of family drama .
I wonder , edward , what's the wildest thing you've seen in your industry ?
Obviously , you know , family have a lot of dynamics , but we have a lot of famous people here in California . So the wildest thing is that John Wayne's Grave went unmarked for nine years because it was in probate that long .
Wow , I didn't know that . Where's he buried ?
Pacific View Memorial Park in Newport
¶ Planning for End of Life Responsibilities
Beach , California . Yeah , wow Huh but that shows you that a lot of people unfortunately two out of every three American dies without a will or he trusts and they leave their family with a bill , not a will . So when you do that , you have a lot of people coming out of the will work .
So it's very important that you get your trust or will together so that people know explicitly how you want things handled . At the same time , make sure you get all your arrangements done with the local funeral home or local cemetery or local crematory in advance .
That means it's outside of your traditional insurance , because most people don't realize that traditional insurance was never designed to bury you . It was designed to replace the income of the person that passed away right . But , but , but . People use it to lay their loved ones to rest , and then the surviving person does not have that money to maintain .
Right , right . I've also always said this because it's one of the reasons why I ended up in the situation . It is because there was no plan . Right , because no one expects to ever pass away , and that's what happened to my mom , and so I've always had a will .
Even if you have no money or you don't own anything , I I review my will and everything Around my birthday in January , so I've always been a big proponent of that . Chris said God , even with the will , it takes so much time .
Yeah , that's the executive that's called so we have three different things . You have when death occurs , which we call the arrangement conference , that we have after care . That's the grief part .
And then we have after reach , after reaches , the 17 things that must be done after death occurs 17 legal things to remove a decedent's name , or we call the honoree off of all legal procedures , that's for the executor or the next of kin . That's the part that's pretty not . I could take up to a year to get all that stuff .
Wow .
Yeah , yeah . Well , I mean even people like a wheat , the Franklin and Prince no , no , none of them had .
None of them had arrangements . But you know the difference . The sad part about it is most of them didn't have a will , even though they have publicists that could have done that .
But , at the same time , most people , like you said , they're not thinking about the fact that one day they're gonna pass away and one thing that's happened to all of us we're gonna pass away .
Yes , we're all gonna . At some point People will be just said I'm getting ready to retire , turning 66 tomorrow , but before that my goal is to get my estate stuff all taken care of , including a will and setting powers of attorney exactly .
Good , but make sure whatever type of arranges he want , that he does not Eliminate that because you got to make sure you make . If you want to be cemetery arrangements or you want to be cremated or you want to have a service , make sure you do that because most people don't realize they will . Entrust is read after your lead to rest right not before .
Right , oh , that's so good information . That's right . We've talked about this before , but I forget how people don't know this stuff .
Yeah , it's unfamiliar . It's one of the most unfamiliar topics in America because most people , only in their lifetime , may make one or two arrangers or somebody . They either make it for themselves or someone else who passed , and most of the time they're making those arrangements is when someone has passed away in their doing in the middle of a crisis .
In 99% of time , they don't remember most of the stuff because they're just trying to facilitate 72 hours of getting somebody that's right , and you're emotional , you're sad , you're it's .
It's so much harder to deal with things . Yeah .
We call it stranger danger . That's what we call it in the death care profession stranger danger .
You love this , this industry , huh .
Well , I love it because it's what I've done for 35 years . It's what I do to make a living . It's not who I am , so obviously it's just something I do to make a living . I retired from this someday , but I will not retire from life , that's right .
You just bring so much joy . You're just such a positive person and I've I mean , I've always known that when I first met you . I just think I love kind of the energy you know . I mean it's kind of what we try to do , it all about the joy .
This is not the subject I thought we're gonna talk about , but I love it because it's still on a high note and happiness and joy and it's all like You're talking about something we should be doing .
That has to do with something that makes us all very sad to think about and nobody Wants to talk about it and I'm feeling good about it , Like that's the energy you bring .
Is that the beauty of responsibility ? I think responsibility should be joyful . It shouldn't be something negative . I think when people are responsible is what we supposed to be doing . I think people have a difficulty of looking at responsibilities and not realizing that when you make a choice for the better and it benefits you , it's a good thing .
I don't think anybody should be disappointed when you make a good choice , that's all .
So good .
Wow , would you say . This is fair to say that if you really love your loved ones , you will do everything you can to make sure this is all taken care of ahead of time so that when you do pass , all they got to do is just the grief part and not so much paperwork and stuff .
Correct , correct . My wife and I have already done it . We have Crips and stuff , but we don't want to leave this to our children or our grandchildren . It's not their responsibility . We do believe that every child should inherit something from their parents , but one thing a child should never inherit is the responsibility of laying their parents to rest .
And yet , most of the time , that's what ends up happening .
Yep . 67% of the time a child or the surviving spouse is laying the person to rest and they don't even know what the person wanted because they never had the talk of a lifetime Right .
God , I feel like I have to go look at my paperwork again . I just did it in January . I got to look at it again and just make sure . But I just got insurance to go on my trip and I had to put a beneficiary , whatever , and it's just . It's all these things that you do . You know what I mean ?
And it's true , you have to be responsible and I didn't think about it that way and we're this kind of . I love this line that you said and I'm going to hack it , but you're going to have to tell me . You said being responsible is being what did you say positive ? What did you say ?
No , being responsible is the benefit . You choose to be responsible . There's nothing wrong with the benefit of choosing to do what's right . Yeah , you know I tend to think that people look at responsibility as a negative . That's right . No , responsibility is a good thing , you know . When you protect yourself , it's a really good thing Right .
You know so most people today . They don't have that conversation , but I always tell them , being responsible , there's nothing wrong with it . We have enough air responsibility in the world already , we don't need anymore .
That's right .
Yeah .
Oh , all these good things . See , I always forget this stuff about you , right , right down .
You got to write it down you got good quotes .
There's less than all of it , man , it's also good . So we're at the hour mark , so I'm going to . I'm going to .
uh , it went so fast , I stay a little longer . But Rick and Carmen and Cynthia , it's very nice meeting you and uh , carmen , you give her any information . I anything I could try to do . Uh , give you access when you get to school and you get accepted or whatever . I appreciate it . Uh , you know . Uh , yeah , no problem .
Uh , just remember , uh , what you do to make a living is not who you are , but always bring integrity to the job .
Yes , Thank you so much . I appreciate you . Thank you so much .
Oh , no problem , I appreciate you , Rick brother .
You too , you too .
Very good to see you , man , always , always , always . We're right now in a big fight , so continue fight Uh . No , I've just talked about the world .
Oh wait wait wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait wait wait , rick .
Rick understands when I say the spiritual war .
Hello the world , yeah , yeah .
A lot , of , a lot of , a lot of uh things happening right now , uh , especially all around the world . My wife and I have been traveling . Actually , we get ready to go to Sydney , australia , nice , and that's because that's because they just opened up the country after 36 months , so kind of great .
Um , everyone , thank you so much for joining . All about the join . We'll see you next week for sure . I'm so grateful that everyone stopped by . We'll definitely see you next week and , as always , thank you , bye , everyone .