¶ Career Aspirations and Reminiscing TV Shows
Hi everyone , welcome to All About the Joy . It's me and Cynthia . We're expecting other people , but we're just early . What's up , girl ? How you doing ? I'm good . Yeah , well , I mean , you sent me . Are we not talking about the text that you sent me yesterday ? Oh , we can talk about it .
Okay . Well , what happened ? Why don't you share ? I'm still waiting to hear . So the department that I interviewed with pathology got in contact with my boss and my boss told me that they did and she was very happy . And you know she would hate to see me go , but she knows that's what I want to do , so she was very happy .
So , for people who are just tuning in for the first time , my cousin Cynthia has always wanted to work in the death field . No , I'm just kidding . Okay , I know , I just say it that way , but she wants to be Bones . I mean , she wants to be Forensic Anthropology . Okay , I always want to do it for Hollywood , because people don't know what that means .
Okay , other people know what it means , but I don't . But you want to ?
be Bones From means , but I don't . But you want to be running from bones from the show bones .
Hi Melanie , how are you ? Yeah , we're early .
We just figured we'd come on and start chit chatting , since we were already in the room , because it happens so much that we'll be talking about stuff and then , like it gets really good and then I have to be like we have to go live and then we have to drop the subject , so so anyway , so you've always wanted to be in that field .
You do work in the medical field right now , but it's been really hard to get your foot in the door into becoming a forensic , pathologist , anthropologist , anthropologist oh my God , see , okay , I've done this for years now and I still can't get it right , cause it's like a block in my head cause it's working on dead people .
I'm just saying but so you decided now to go within . Is this ? This is in the hospital that you work at , yes , yes , and it is a stepping stone towards my goal Because you know it will be dealing with , you know , slides and things like that .
I'll be working closely with one of the doctors who actually deals with sarcomas , with like there's 100 different types of cancers that are out there , so he gets a lot of like samples and things like that they get looking under the microscope , so it'll be very interesting . I'm crossing my fingers .
I get it , but you know it looks good . No , I'm really . I told you this in the text . I was so proud of you because , no matter what goes on in your life , one of the things I like about you is that you persevere , no matter what . Like that really is a test of you know who we are . Right , I always say that it's like you can give up .
Like I had to give up dancing . I didn't have a choice , I it wasn't going to happen anymore . You know what I mean and I didn't know that I could . Like it wasn't really about dancing , it was about performing , and it took me a long time to make that . Like Quincy yes , Like Quincy . Exactly , Melanie . Right , Cynthia did you watch the ? show .
I told her about the show .
I didn't watch the show , but I know what you're talking about .
Yeah , I sent her because I was flipping through TV land or whatever it was whatever one of these old 70s shows are and I started watching Quincy because I remember it from back in the day and I sent it to you . I sent you the . It's so good though . Yeah , yeah . Yeah , that's what you want to do .
Anyway , he was cool , jack Klugman , that was his name , and I think he was part of some other big-time sitcom from back in the day that everyone you didn't . You tell me that I can't remember . Yeah , yeah , the Odd Couple . You told me that . Oh yes , yes , yes From the Odd Couple Right .
See , I love that you always persevere , that you always find a way through , even when you're disappointed about stuff and whatever .
So are you talking to me ?
Melanie , you didn't know I was old enough to know it Me Girl , girl , I'm in my 50s . When the boys are on and they're talking about like cartoons and stuff , or like I didn't watch I Love Lucy , Like I got really hammered for that right .
I love , I Love Lucy , Like I got really hammered for that right . Oh my God , I love .
I Love Lucy . No , but I don't remember those shows . I don't remember those kinds of shows .
Well , Cynthia is really young . I mean , cynthia is how old are you ?
45 . And I'm in my 50s . Yeah , but yeah , no , I think I saw , I think I knew Quincy , because there were reruns . I don't think I watched it when it was on on because I don't remember . I don't know .
I mean a lot of those shows came out like really like before we were born .
In the 70s or something . I think , it was on in the 70s maybe .
Or like the Honeymooners , and I Love Lucy .
No Honeymooners , and I Love Lucy . I have no idea .
Definitely for reruns when we were watching them .
I don't feel bad about those because I know those were before my time , but I remember Jack Klugman I don't know if it's because of , maybe , my mom , I don't know , I don't . My mom was , you know , I was so young when my mom died .
But there are so like Johnny Carson , melanie , I remember Johnny Carson for sure , you know like , because my mom used to watch Johnny Carson at night and she would always say I could stay up and watch it right after the school in the morning , like there was , you know , like I can stay up as late as I wanted to , but I was going to school and I learned
that lesson .
That was a treat .
yeah , yeah , but I learned that lesson quick , because I would just watch the monologue and just go to bed because you know , but it was more about spending time with her . So , yeah , yeah , I wish I was young , I could remember stuff what you talking about in this field . And as much as I've tried to help her , I've failed . Not for lack of trying .
You didn't fail . No people who said they wanted to help or could help have blown us off , is all I'm going to say and I don't forget to share I don't mind it If it wasn't meant to be .
It wasn't meant to be . Yeah , it is Johnny .
Carson . Here's the thing the person who is in charge in Florida you know who I emailed . I helped her at UVM . I was the person that walked her through . So I'm kind of pissed about that , because that's a really good connection and all she needed to do was email me back . So I'm a little bit pissed about that . Hey , look it , I'm not perfect .
I hold grudges , bitch I do . I don't give a shit If you tell me you're going to do something and then you don't do it . I have issues . You know what I mean . So , but yeah , Okay , Since nobody else is here , let's talk about 911 .
Cause I almost text you again today . Okay , wait , I just watched the episode from last week . I just watched that , okay .
Wait , I think I've almost seen everything now . Okay , so I want to just . When are we going to hear about the interviews ? Hopefully next week , and then when would you start ? Okay , I won't go ahead too much , I won't go ahead , yeah .
Well , I did tell them during the interview that I'm going on vacation and I do want to give my boss , you know at least a few weeks notice , so that way you know she can hear , doesn't your boss know ?
Because your boss is like oh yeah , but she knows , because she's the one giving you the recommendations .
No , no , yeah , no , she knows , but you know , I just want to make sure , because there are certain things that I do that other people don't do , so I want to make sure that they all are trained in that we already in the visualization of .
We've already got the job and we just want to give her time . We're putting that out there in the universe . So hey , rick , how you doing .
Good , good . How are you I ?
like the hat .
Gracias , gracias .
I don't like the hat Hi Ana how are you ? Oh yeah , so I did invite a few people on Facebook , so I'm hoping they all come on . Oh , that's so cool .
Is it Ana ? I know , ana right , ana , ana , okay , wait .
Rick , what is this hat ? It's just a hat . I didn't know it was a big deal , it looks like a maze .
It looks like a maze right , cool , I like it .
What is it ? Said in I don't think it says anything . I just saw it and I liked it and I bought it .
I think you need an All About the Joy hat . I'm just saying I know that's so my fault . It's so my fault . Now , rick , we were about to just talk for a minute about this show 9-11 , because it's not 9-11 , 9-1-1 , because I didn't think you boys were going to come on for a minute . I know that Tony said he's going to come on later .
He's on a very important phone call with his family , so I was like it's okay , like I invite people again . It's kind of like everyone emails me back , like everyone emails me back and I'm just like the reason why blind CCU is . So you can come or not , I appreciate the heads up , but but I expect you guys to be on . You know what I mean .
So , okay , just a quick thing on nine , nine , one
¶ TV Show Addiction and Relationship Dynamics
one . So , cynthia , today I watched what you called the Boston episode .
Oh , yeah , I know , I was like really .
This is how they perceived Boston . Put it up on the website . I just didn't get to do that today . I did it at like 4.30 this morning and then I went to work . Oh , that's a lie . I did it at 4.30 this morning and then I met with my lawyer and then I went to work .
So I was at work at eight o'clock , but I did those two things before and I just got home like a half an hour ago . I got home at like 5.30 . And this is not wine , this is water .
Red cup wine cup .
No , I have to work tomorrow , so I never drink . It is actually water . Okay , 9-1-1 , really quickly . For those of you who don't know , Cynthia forced me to watch the show . I encouraged her . Yeah , actually , I was like , I'll watch one or two episodes and I got hooked . I got hooked because Angela Bassett is in it . The 411 on 9-1-1 . Exactly so .
I've been watching it and I've been addicted to it , and the thing that was interesting about it is because I wasn't paying for Hulu , which is who has it on . They have all of the episodes . I could only watch it as it was being recorded on YouTube TV . So it as it was being recorded on YouTube TV , so I was watching it out of order basically .
So I was watching like one episode on episode , you know , on season six , another episode on season three or whatever , and it was really interesting because I was , you know , I was understanding the characters . But then I went and got Hulu right .
Cynthia hooked me up and I got the Hulu , and so I've started watching it from beginning to end , and now some of the people that I love .
I'm like I am so annoyed with this character . I told you you'll have love and hate relationships throughout , but you'll end up loving them all .
Okay , but the boston episode seriously , jennifer love you and I just want to smack upside the head like stop whining . Okay , on the one hand , they're talking about her postpartum depression and I thought that was really good that they went deep into what it means for a woman to be in this position where they want to commit suicide .
They don't think they're good enough for their baby . I mean , I don't know anything about this because I've never been pregnant , I've never had children , so it was really interesting on that part . But what's annoying to me is that she is continuously crying , not just in that episode but before , when I wasn't seeing it in order .
She cries like and it's a whimpering thing that drives me insane so she's great for that , because she's always been like a crier in like every movie she's been and stuff . So she was really great for that I didn't know that .
I , I what . What's her claim to fame ?
I don't know , let's see .
I mean , I know the name , yeah I guess she's well known I mean in some show or something but I'm just saying this was my first time watching her and I really I'm like I'm going to shoot myself , okay . And then the last thing I'm going to say is I love Edmundo . Eddie , mm-hmm , mm-hmm , I love Eddie .
I didn't think I loved Eddie and they're all dead now and so he's going through the tough one . That's a tough process that he's going through . So it's a really great show . Ricky , you should watch it . I'm telling you , if you watch it , you're going to get hooked , and I think I'm almost done .
I I'm telling you if you watch it , you're going to get hooked , and I think I'm almost done . I think I have like two more episodes and I'm done seeing all of them . So it'll probably be tonight . But yeah , and you cry every episode because they save someone or somebody dies . They're trying to save .
And there's always something in each episode that somebody can relate to . That's a good thing about it too . You know , they have the alcoholpartum .
Cynthia's talking about all the bad stuff I'm thinking about . You see the difference . I'm all about the joy , you're all about the negativity Relate to . They also can relate to good relationships , well yes , but I'm getting to that .
Okay , I don't know I was getting to that . With all the bad stuff , there's always a good ending to it .
It's the firehouse , it's fire men and women and , uh , they it's their lives and the camaraderie and the family bond between them is intense and you realize how intense that relationship is because they lose a couple of them for a bit and they bring in new fire people and you're like , yeah , no , that's not gonna work . That's the story .
You're like , no , that's not going to work .
That's the stuff . The chemistry's off . No , no , they don't understand how this works .
It's really a good show . Okay , rick , what's up with you baby ?
Just living the dream .
The dream or the nightmare .
Oh yeah , Dream of being a caregiver .
Yeah , how's everything going ? I don't mean to be laughing , I just thought that was a funny line . But how is did she go to bed ?
Yeah , yeah , she's in bed . She's good , we're all set , she's asleep . Thank you , jesus .
Yeah , okay .
But are you having a tougher time or is it getting easier ? It depends on the work . Was crazy busy today , but , um , yeah , but she wasn't bad today . She was pretty good , okay , good . So I know rick can't wait for one question on what I , what I wrote . Oh wait , hold on a second , I'll be right back . I forgot I printed everything out . I forgot .
So , rick , so I I always do . I try to do like a little thing of what we're going to talk about and I send it to everyone who's going to be on the show and uh , we don't ever really go down the entire list , which is kind of the fun part of the show .
But Rick responds to this , which he never does , and he's like oh , which Marvel character would I marry ? Interesting , seriously , that's like at the bottom of the list .
I wanted to talk about relationships today and really about being single and being married and because something funny kind of happened today where I realized like I am so glad I'm single and I mean I would love to be in a full on relationship too , but I think it is also a mix of maturity .
So I'll just tell a little quick story this morning someone I'm gonna try to say it without saying people's names , but a woman friend of mine , not a friend , somebody I work with but said that her boyfriend she knows her boyfriend is cheating on her .
Now I try not to play therapist at work or whatever , but you know I was half asleep and I'd done so much already . So I was like go ahead , I'm drinking my coffee , go ahead , talk , you know . So she said , and I know who . So much already . So I was like go ahead , I'm drinking my coffee , go ahead , talk , you know .
So she said , and I know who her boyfriend is , I know who he is , he is fine , he is gorgeous . Like there's no doubt it's a good looking man . You know what I mean . And so she said she just knows that he's cheating on her . And I said , well , just dump them then . Like I don't , I don't , I don't know what to say , if you know it to be true .
And she looked at me like and I said you know , is it possible that you are upset because he is good looking ? And when he walks in the room he takes it over ? Everyone looks at him . Like you're not the only one who thinks he's fine , everybody thinks he's good looking .
Like did you think dating him was going to change all of us Be like , oh yeah , no , he's not that good looking , I'm not going to look . You know what I mean . He hasn't changed . Like who he is is who he is . He's a good looking man , whatever . It's not that you think he's cheating on you , it's that you don't trust him . Why are you defending him ?
I'm like I am not defending him , I'm and I walked away laughing like I am so glad I am single because I can't deal with that . They just started dating , like maybe six months ago or something . You know what I mean . So it's still kind of new .
So she thinks he is or she knows he is .
I think she's just jealous because he's . I know them both separately because they both work in the same industry . I'm just going to put it that way . Okay , so Is he flirty with people ? Is he being who he always is ?
He's very friendly , which could be taken as flirty .
Right , yeah , okay , edmundo on 911 . Is he flirting or is he just being himself ? He's a good looking man , he's just I'm just saying like he's really good looking , he walks in the room . Is he flirting ? Really good looking , he walks in the room . Is he flirting ? I mean , it depends , I'm trying to think of for Rick .
Another good example for Rick I've got to think of a Marvel character or Star Trek . I just watched Star .
Trek just now .
I'm trying Star Trek . Nobody on Star Trek is really my flavor to date . Patrick Stewart is a very good looking man and he's charming , or whatever like back in the day . Is he flirting with people or is he just being who he is when he walks in the door ? Do you ?
know what I mean . Like right , like Rick said , he's being friendly , but so some people can come off flirty and probably to her , if he's not cheating on her and he's just being who he is , she's probably just insecure and not not trustworthy like I don't know your internet is going in and out .
I know you were worried about that earlier , but we can hear you .
But I , you know , I'm just letting you know she's okay for me yeah , she .
Well , it just went in and out a little bit . Um , I think it'll be fine , but yeah , I'm just looking at these . They don't do the bars anymore , so that's oh . No , yeah , so they have changed everything , but I guess they haven't changed it for rick yet .
So well , I did the thing right I did try to hear the button try the new thing and I figured it out . It's not as different as I thought it was . So , yeah , I'm dealing with it .
But um , it doesn't show the green , you know , like if somebody's internet is out or something yeah , yeah , yeah but go ahead , rick without sounding arrogant , because I don't think I'm superior looking , but this is more something I want when I was .
This is more when I was rick , I feel like that's what I'm supposed to say . You are hot .
I appreciate
¶ Misinterpreting Friendliness and Flirting
it . When I was younger , I found that sometimes because I try to be friendly , very friendly , hi , and some people took it the wrong way and I'm like what ?
no , I'm just being nice you know okay , but but then I'm going to push back on that and say , uh , then you need to be able to read that sign and yeah , I've had that too . Right like , and I always tell people this I'm oblivious I , I have boobs and I yeah , we've all I saying boobs .
When you're growing up and you're athletic or whatever , it's a thing I remember being like I could read the sign clearly and I would change things . You know what I mean , because I never wanted anyone meant to misunderstand that , misunderstand anything I was doing .
So , yeah , you can be friendly and whatever and be who you are , but if you're not noticing that , you're flirting , you know . I mean , we all like our ego stroked a bit . Right , there's nothing wrong with that . There's nothing wrong with wanting to be liked and being thought of as whatever you know my .
My issue , though , was the uh the hat did like you did like you detector .
And my brain doesn't really work , which is why , when I was on remember that I was telling you about on periscope days they would say they would have to give me a clue , a code word when somebody was flirting with me , because I was too stupid to realize , and they'd say pink poodle , pink poodle . And I'm like it's stupid , or is it ?
I guess , yeah , I don't know if I believe that . Now that I know I I believe that you believe that I do .
I'm just telling you what they were telling me that . I'm like , wait , what ? What are you talking about ? I feel so oblivious . And then I read back I'm like , okay , yeah , I guess I could kind of see that .
But I think it's just because you know the way you are . You're friendly with people . You just feel like they're just being friendly If someone's actually flirting , and like if you were actually flirting with someone and you see them flirting back , then you would get it , but you just feel it as them being friendly , like you are .
Yeah .
But I think there's also a little bit of nuance , and I wasn't there in Periscope days , so I'm not trying to judge you or whatever . Here's the thing . I had the conversation with the guy afterwards . Ok , he's kind of sick of the whole thing and I was like good looking guy , I'm so easy , yeah , I'm like dumper , I'm like equal opportunity .
But I think sometimes we don't realize that subconsciously , and this is natural . There's nothing wrong with wanting to be liked , it's human . There's nothing wrong with liking compliments or liking people thinking we're pretty or smart or sexy or whatever . That's part of the human deal . But this weird idea that somehow we're bad because we might like that or whatever .
And I think sometimes what happens is maybe we don't see it because we don't want to , because we do like it , we do like to see that . I've always walked around a little bit paranoid as a kid . We can always talk about why , but I think it's pretty obvious .
I always thought if I wore something a certain way or showed something a certain way or whatever , I could get hurt because somehow all men just want one thing . I'm not saying that's true , I'm saying as I grew up in the way that I did , that's what I always had in the back of my head . That's a lot of Christian Catholic guilt . You know what I Like ?
I remember we got in trouble when we were at Blessed Sacrament and in school because I went to grammar school at Blessed Sacrament , we wore shorts under our skirts and we were told we were sinners because we like to do cartwheels , and you know what I mean . Like we weren't ladylike . We were always really told that .
You know , showing anything , even wearing shorts under our skirts so that we could play like kids , was a bad thing , you know . So I was . I've always been the opposite . I'm hyper aware of what men see or what I think they might be seeing , even if it's not true . I'm the complete opposite .
You know what I mean , because I don't want to go down that route , you know . But this guy , I actually think he's . It's not that he's oblivious , I think he's just . I imagine if you walk into a room and Rob Lowe is standing there , we're all going to be like oh my God , hi . Not because he's Rob Lowe , but because he's a good looking man .
You know what I mean . And he's pretty and he's got the smile and the charm . I wouldn't think he's just automatically flirting . Yeah , and I don't think that's what this guy's doing . But I think she thinks we're all now going to be like oh yeah , he's not good looking . Yeah , she's totally flirting .
I think she sounds like she's insecure with herself .
Insecure with herself . I think she thinks she also and this is another clue , ladies , men too , people who are single If you think you don't deserve to be with somebody who asked you out , you've already set yourself up for a bad relationship
¶ Navigating Criticism and Compliments in Hollywood
. You know what I mean . I think she thinks she caught a good one . She actually said that in some way shape or form .
He's not a fish , yeah .
Oh my God , I caught a good one . Well , they always say there's plenty of fish in the sea . That's right . Yeah .
But that's a disaster waiting to happen . If she can't get over that , that's not going to work ?
I mean , they've only been dating . What six months you said ?
Yeah .
I don't know what happened , but I was no help because I told them both to dump each other . You're talking to the wrong person . I'm going to tell you to , just because you don't trust each other . Yeah .
And it's too soon in the relationship to have some type of issue like that .
I know right , Six months is the beginning .
It's the mud part . It's like one said . My husband says you know , the first year is probation period . You get to know the person , you get to know their ins and outs , their quirks , all this .
And that you know saying like we'll be walking down the street or whatever we're talking to a friend , they'll be like , oh , hi , honey , hi , sweetie , you know it's whatever . And I'll be like , oh , you know , stay beautiful to somebody else and else . And I'll just kind of laugh because that's just him , he's just being friendly . That's Juan .
Juan is so like that . You know what I mean .
That's him , juan told me I was beautiful like five times or something . Carmen , you're just so beautiful . I think I yelled at him once like all right , I got it enough , Thank you . Thank you , it was just annoying , but it's the way he is . He's very like , he's very lovable . Is he in the room ?
No , no , he doesn't give him compliments where he can hear me , but he's like a teddy bear , he's just a lovable guy and so . But that's also what he generates , right , he generates just kindness and love . So it's adorable , but , yeah , he's very funny . Yeah , carmen , you're so there . I was like got it , got it .
Thanks , Juan . As you can see , karma takes compliments very well .
I take them well the first time . I don't like the weird gushiness that freaks me out a bit . I will admit this I don't take criticism very well and I don't take compliments very well . The reason why I don't is because if I believe any of them , it fucks up my brain , right .
So I was taught this a long time ago as a performer don't read any of the reviews . Don't get all excited when people are giving you a standing ovation . Don't get all excited when people are asking you for your autograph .
Don't get it all up in your head because the minute you get one bad review , it's going to sit in your heart forever and it's the best piece of advice . So it's not because I have like someone trying to say , carmen , you might have self-esteem issues . I need a new therapist , is what I'm thinking .
But I was like it's not self-esteem , it's I just know better . You don't need to take I , not other people . But yes , I do not take compliments or criticism because I don't want to put too much value on them in any way , shape or form .
Now , if it's like you or somebody I care about , like Andrea or Mia or you know what I mean Like if it's somebody that I know who is giving me actual advice , like Billy or Alden or something that's different , that's different , I will take that criticism , I will take the compliment and I will hold on to it .
Well , now that we're here no , I'm just kidding , I'm just kidding , go ahead .
Rick , say your piece , baby .
No , I'm kidding , I'm kidding , no but it's true .
But you know what I mean .
Like those people's criticisms I will value because I know they're coming from a place of making me a better person worked at my first job , mcdonald's and they said um , it takes 10 good reviews to counteract one bad review that's a good one , that's true so they're like try your best to never get a bad review , because you're gonna have to get 10 more good
ones for the people to counteract that bad one you know what . I think that's really true . Actually it does that . That's kind of the way it is , if you , if you allow that to embed in your soul . So I advise people .
I know it's hard to do , but I think I think when you grow up as a performer , you start and you get rejection over and over and over again . Or , like actors , you start to learn like you know what , whatever you know .
I mean , I remember going out to an audition when I first came to la and one of the criticisms I've got this more than once , but I'm not black enough , so , like they have . So so they'll , they'll put a breakdown which is a description of whatever the show is right .
And they'll put a breakdown which is a description of whatever the show is right , and they'll tell you the character is a police officer , she's Black , african-american , this age , blah , blah , blah . Whatever Comes from a wealthy Athena .
I'm 911 .
I know I'm like 911 . She is so good in that show , though I don't like her wigs , though that's my only problem . Why are they putting her in bad wigs ? Anyway , that's a whole other issue , because every time she has a new wig on , I'm like it's Angela Bassett . She could get her own wigs . I don't know , I don't anyway .
Besides that , though , but here's my point , that's what a breakdown is . So your agent will send you out , and you'll go out to this audition , and there'll be all these women who look exactly like you , in the same type of whatever . And I've gotten the criticism , which is you're not black enough . What am I supposed to do with that ?
You know , like I can't make myself blacker . And and like what do you mean ? Because , clearly , what do they mean by that ? Like you need me to talk ghetto or something . Like you're the one with the stereotype because I'm black enough . You know what I mean . So , but again , I'm not dissing the industry , but this , this is the fight .
And then the same thing will happen , like if I go in for a role for a Latina this has happened several times I'll go in , go into the audition . They're like oh yeah , so we were looking more for , like a Jennifer Lopez , you're actually not Latina . What ?
Really Wow .
Right , because they're looking for , like Jennifer Lopez , selma Hayek , they're looking for Caucasian Latino people . They're looking for people that they , in their heads , have decided are Latino , not realizing there's a whole spectrum of African Latina . You know what I mean . Like just a whole spectrum of people .
I always say this and , cynthia , you know Ileana de la Vega . Ileana de la Vega is from Cuba , right ? Her family is from Cuba and she is blonde and green-eyed .
And then my other friend from college , carol Jaime , she's also Cuban and she is dark , dark skin , like dark , dark skin , okay , and she looks African-American , and that is the beauty of the Latino culture . So when Hollywood asks for a character that's Latino , they're actually asking for just one type of person . I mean that's changing , but you know what I mean .
It's a slow thing , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , whatever . Look at us .
We're both Honduran and I'm I would be white , right , and I would not .
Be well , I don't think we're . Our parents are from Honduras , yeah , or they were , or well , not our parents , my mom and your mom , right ? Yeah , cause , you know , even though we're cousins , we're not really cousins , but we don't need to go down that road because we are cousins .
But , yes , our moms are both Honduras , right , and we both are different colored skin , right , yeah , so , whatever . And then there's Rick from Portugal .
Whatever I've had people say to me like , oh , you're Portuguese , you're not white .
I'm like , okay , I don't know what to say you know , I asked him the other day what their ethnicity was . He's a beautiful young man . Where was I ? Oh , I know where I was .
I went and bought sneakers after work and he was working at Roadrunners and he was talking to me or whatever , and he's just such a pretty looking guy with blue eyes or whatever , but I could hear a Spanish thing in his voice and I was like where are you from ? And he's like what did he say ? I think he said Escondido and I was like California .
He's like no Mexico . I escondido and I was like California , like , and he's like no Mexico . I'm like oh , my god , you're Mexican , it was just . And he's like yeah , it was so cool to like , because most people who are here who are from Mexico are more my color . You know what I mean . Uh , so it's just really interesting to to talk to someone like him .
And oh , oh , I know I was saying this . And then I said , well , where do you get the blue eyes from ? He's like well , my well , my dad is from . Oh , no , he said my dad is from here . He's white . I'm like okay , but white isn't like . Where is he from ? And he's like you know LA ?
I'm like , come on , I was like you just told me your mother's from Escondido , whatever , mexico . So , and then he's , but your father is not just white , that's a skin color . So there's a skin color . And then there's an ethnicity , so he's like yeah , I think he's like Irish or something , but I don't even know if he knows .
They don't care .
I think it's , because , well , that's a whole other conversation . Let's get back to who you would date in the Marvel universe . Wait , wait . Before we go down that road , let me ask you this question what are the pros to being married ? So we've all been married . Cynthia is still married , poor you . No , I'm just kidding . What are the pros to being married ?
And then what are the cons ? I'm just curious what you guys might say .
I mean the pros you have somebody to share your life with , share memories with , kind of be a witness to your life you know ?
oh , I like that answer be a witness to your life yeah , and you know , god forbid something happens to you .
You got someone there who can take care of you , or I got that . I ain't married .
I hear you . I'm just , I'm just messing with you , I'm just being the cons
¶ Marriage and Personal Space
.
You don't have your own space anymore oh , right , right , that would be hard oh even though I love when he's around , I do like sometimes you know he goes out for a walk or something and I have the whole house in my house myself for like an hour and it's just like oh , I think the best way to do it is if you could .
Again , none of us could afford it , but again , you know you have the west wing , I have the east . Have the East wing once in a while in the middle Cause I don't think I could ever . People like , as you get older , you can't share your life . I'm like I have always been this person .
I'll always say my best relationship was the one where he never lived in my state and we saw each other every other week and I was in my , my 30s . Then I was like best relationship because I never had to see him every week .
Okay , so that's the con is you don't have time to yourself yeah , and your house doesn't stay clean for more than like a day that's a man thing though .
Huh yeah , that's a man thing not me , because I got this one that's not your wife , that's your mama who's in the issue , dude , I'm just saying we're talking about relationships .
No , but I'm just trying to defend the men , because you made it sound like all men are pigs .
You cannot defend the men with your mother who has an illness . That's bad .
I'm just saying , all men are not pigs .
No , no , not all . Men are not pigs .
No , no , not all men are pigs , yeah I know a few implication that I think you're being overly defensive for something that you don't believe in . Hey , chris oh yeah he just said I'm serving a 37 years to life marriage sentence .
Oh that's horrible baby and you wouldn't change it , chris okay , rick , what are your ?
you used to be married . What did you ? Like about it . What do you ?
miss about it . Well , same thing . Cynthia says you got somebody to go home to somebody to talk to . You could talk to literally anything you want to . You could talk to them because that's what it's supposed to be . That's your life partner . You shouldn't have any secrets . If you want a good marriage , my partner shouldn't have any like secrets .
You know , if you want a good marriage , um , my opinion , my opinion if that's your real life partner , then there shouldn't be any secrets , um , and just somebody to always be there , and you don't have to be lonely , and you don't have to be lonely at night either , if you know what I mean .
Um , but yeah , don't look at me like that . I mean , could you expand ? I'm just sorry , sorry , you walked right into that one . Do you know what I mean ? Like you kind of walked right in that's real life .
I'm just saying .
You know I was married . I don't miss it at all . I didn't like hey Audrey . How are you ? So , Audrey is Cynthia's sister and my cousin . That's so funny . How you doing ? She should come up on the show . Sometimes she won't come up , right , she should . She should , audrey , you should come up on the show . What is this middle name ?
Is that really her middle name ? Is she just being ?
sassy .
I meant to ask her that she's had that up there for like 10 years and I've never asked Marriage pros someone who kills bugs , marriage cons .
Wait , what does the rest say ? They might kill you I don't know .
Wait , let me see if I can see the rest of his wording . I can't see it .
Yeah , just say , might dot , dot dot .
Yeah , they might kill bugs . Okay , chris , I need to see the rest of that .
I can't see it on the chat for some reason . Well , cons . If you want to talk about cons , I think the biggest one is- .
Wait , cons , for what Marriage ?
Yes , you don't have the freedom to do whatever you want anymore .
Hmm , being married .
Mm-hmm .
But been my thing . Never , never , never , so okay . So for me , I've never . I don't know , it's not I . I don't think I ever liked being married or wanted to be married . It wasn't my thing . I eloped , which everyone was not surprised by at all . So for me , I don't miss being married at all .
Yeah , did you do it because you thought this is what's expected and this is what I'm supposed to do .
Oh , no , no , absolutely not . Okay , I don't know . I'm sure Cynthia would be like yeah , no , I don't , carmen doesn't do anything . I would actually do the opposite . If somebody expected me to do something , I'd do the opposite . No , no , I thought I was in love and we kind of did it , but it was just uh , I got irritated very quickly .
Uh , yeah , I need more space and I , I love to be alone . Uh , yeah , I need more space and I , I love to be alone . Uh , I know people know me to be . I think everyone is an extrovert and an introvert but , like I don't feel lonely ever , like I love being alone .
I love like the like if I could be alone and not deal with work , that would be my blessing , like because sometimes when I'm by myself too much , I'll keep thinking about work and not my own stuff . So for me it would be great and that's because I think I feel responsible for work .
You know , but somehow the stuff I want to do , like putting up the website and fixing the you know , the merch or whatever , that to me feels like oh , that's just , I got to put that on the side hobby . So if I didn't have to work and I could just be alone and focus on the stuff , that would be like my blessing . I would love that .
Yeah , in the same way I've even thought like what if I go to jail and they throw me in solitary ? Like to me ? I'm like , ooh , I'm so scared of solitary . Like , go ahead , put me in solitary .
I don't know Well . I think solitary , without like TV and books or something might be a very different thing Like not being out of my house might be a different , we might be talking about a different thing , but I do know what you mean .
I think the only reason why I can be such an extrovert and like I love people and I enjoy being on stage and I love you know , doing , talking and speaking or whatever is because I love so much my quiet , peaceful time . I don't now do I love the companionship of a man . Of course I do . I do and do .
I want that consistently on a regular basis as I get older . I'm okay with the phone call Like hey , you want to hang out next week ? I don't know if I want someone 24 seven . It's a lot of work . It is a lot of work . It's a lot of work .
And here's the thing I was talking billy yesterday on the phone and billy's like my brother from another mother and it's so easy to talk to him . It's so simple . It's just . We just have a flow . There's no drama . You know , I mean the same thing with alden . It's like , and so these people are like family to me .
So I think the perfect thing is and I think this is probably what everyone wants is you want someone who's like your best friend because , then yeah , to be your partner , whatever , because then they get you , you get them and that is probably what the component that's missing .
Now I could never have intimacy with Alden or Billy because they're just not my people . You know what I mean . Like I love them , but they are family now they're best friends , you know . It's like , you know , andre was saying last week I love her but I would never want to be with her .
But it's that weird thing where it's like I think for me it's not that I've given up , but the bar is so high , it has to be someone who is that kind of friend and I think that takes a long time to figure out .
Yeah , I think the friendship is probably the most important part .
And people skip over that . Yeah , that's the friendship is probably the most important part , and people skip over that .
Yeah , that's crazy to me . That's crazy to me .
Well , I don't think they realize it .
Yeah , that's why people that get married so quick , within like months of knowing each other , I'm like you're out of your mind .
Although some of those people , it works .
Sometimes , but I think more times than not .
Let me tell you I have a friend . Her and her husband met . They got married , I think after six months . They have been together for , I want to say , almost 20 years now . They have six children .
It worked for them .
Yeah , it's amazing . I think that's kind of cool .
Yeah , I think that's kind of cool . All right , what about being single , cynthia ? How long has it been since you've been single ?
Well , let's see me and Juan have been together 26 years . Wow . The last time I was single , I was what ? 17 , 18 years old .
Oh yeah , that's sad . I mean good , Wow , Wow , Right . So you wow , that's okay . So you were 17 , 18 and then you got married . I mean you were with , you got married after that , but you , yeah , we've been together since I was 19 . Yeah , oh , wow .
I mean , I'm happy for you , but I mean , I did date a lot before him , so I mean you could not have dated that much .
I'm so sorry , date a lot before him . So I mean you could not have dated that much . I'm so sorry , like I'm so sorry . I dated a lot and before I was 18 and much more after that . But wow , that's no . I mean that's cool , are you happy ? No , I'm just kidding like a therapy session juan are we happy no , they'll ask me is , are we ?
Okay , so you can't really answer the question about pros and cons of being single , but you can imagine it I mean it's kind of the same thing .
I mean , if I was single , I'd probably again have quiet time , but I think I'd , I think I'd probably be bored , to be honest well , you wouldn't even be bored , because I'm sorry to bring this back to when your man went away for two weeks to be by his mother's side . Two months he was gone Okay , two months , whatever Two months and you were freaking out .
I mean , audrey said sometimes I'm glad I'm single , don't have to deal with anyone , answer to anyone but my kid . Yeah , that's true . Don't have to deal with anyone , answer to anyone but my kid yeah , that's true .
I think for me , the moments where I'm really grateful that I'm single I mean , besides , like the fiasco today with those two , which was funny uh , I'll get up at three in the morning or something , and I'll be like I just want to eat something and I know this is a stupid thing like , and I'll get up , I'll be like you know , I just feel like having some
scrambled eggs . It'll be something stupid , like like some random thing . Or I just want to get up , I'm going to read a book . I'm going to go sit in the living room and read a book at three in the morning , like not answering to anyone for that or not feeling guilty about it or not .
I don't ever want to give that up , and you'd have to , because you have to be considerate of somebody else . You know , if I'm going to be in a relationship , it has to be with somebody rich , because that's that's the only way it's going to work .
No less than a mansion .
Right , I need my space , baby , I need my space . That is so funny yeah .
Where's y'all's bedroom ? I'll show you where my bedroom is . Well , we can .
We could have our own bedrooms and we could have one in the middle of some I don't know . He could come over to my space or whatever , I don't know . I just I , yeah , I've never been okay with those couples who like fart in front of each other and all that , like all that nonsense . I'm not into it , I'll never been into it .
Let me see Audrey said at the same time I'm still looking for my prince .
Haven't found him yet . I wouldn't say Juan's a prince , but you know .
Wow , he's a king . He's a king . Oh , because he's a king .
You went the same .
I had to rescue Juan . There I got to rescue him .
Juan is so cool . I like Juan . I think I think the pros I actually was going to have him .
I was actually going to have him pop in into this conversation , but he's dealing with the baby right now .
Oh yeah , I would have been interesting to hear his point of view , but I don't want you guys fighting either , though so I'm glad he's not coming on . No , pros are pretty easy for being single , but I think the cons are a little bit more complicated .
Like a big con for me is like if I travel and Cynthia knows , like if I travel , I have to let everybody know where I'm going .
They all get my itinerary , there's a schedule , they have all the emergency numbers , because my biggest fear is like I'm traveling out of the country or I'm traveling somewhere by myself , whether it's for work or whatever and then something happens to me and nobody knows about it . Like that would devastate me .
And it's not just because I'd be like nobody cares , it's like I wouldn't want people to find out that I passed away like that or something . You know what I mean and nobody know where I am . That freaks me out all the time . So I think that's one of the cons for me is you don't have that person .
Who's your , you know who's like oh , why didn't carmen come home at six o'clock , right ? Yeah , you know , like that does bother , it scares me because I always think to myself like I wouldn't want people to find out or like , like if I was dead here for four days , and then people feel bad about that .
Yeah , you better cry and shit and be like in sorrow for like three months . Like , yeah , I want like huge memorials everywhere , all over the world , you know , with all friends from everywhere . I want dedication pages on my Facebook and website . You know we have it all set up .
I'm just saying I want lots of tears and celebration , but more tears of missing people . All right , let's move on to something more fun
¶ Beliefs on Soulmates and Relationships
. Do you believe that everyone is supposed to be with someone ? No , I don't think so . You don't believe that there's somebody for somebody or somebody for everyone .
Well , it kind of brings me back to that whole soulmate thing . So I feel like there is someone for everyone , okay , but they don't necessarily have to be a partner . Your soulmate doesn't necessarily have to be your partner , it doesn't have to be your wife or your husband . It could be a best friend .
So , like you know , like you and Andrea are best friends , you guys know everything about each other .
I wouldn't say Andrea and I are soulmates , no , no , no , but I'm saying an example .
an example , okay . You know someone who always had your back .
I think soulmates is more about a romantic thing , right .
Some people . I mean , that's what most people would think about it .
Okay , I'm listening to what you're saying , so I don't get the Andrea part . What's your definition of soulmate ?
I guess Just someone who is your other half , but I don't think it necessarily has to be a partner .
To me . I take it as someone that you are destined to be with , and I don't believe that at all .
Interesting Okay .
Destined to be with romantically . Right , and a lot of Christians , because you know me . They're like , oh yeah , God has the perfect one for you . And I'm like , yeah , and so why did you get divorced ? I guess that wasn't your soulmate . You made a mistake .
Oopsie oopsie ? no , I don't believe so I , I probably think a little bit differently . I mean , I think , the way rick does about it being somebody you're destined to be with romantically or whatever although I know what you're saying , cynthia like I mean , I don't think everybody has to be married . That's what I'm gonna say .
I'm not saying and and I always look at , look at it this way , and people think I'm crazy , but not crazy . But they're like , why do you have to bring it like that ? But like , my mom died alone , right , she clearly had different children with different men , and I say that because that's just factual and I think she lived a very full life .
She died very , very young , but none of the men that she had children with were in her life when she passed away . I mean , again , I was 11 , but it's not like we talked about it , but just from my understanding .
And I always think to myself , if my mom couldn't be with somebody her soulmate or whatever , why do I have some expectation that I'm supposed to be ? Like she was a good person , she you know what I mean Like she did all the right things .
She helped so many people blah , blah , helped so many people , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , and it's like , so I I think that's why , for me , I don't know if I believe everyone has to have , um , a soulmate , you know , but I do believe what Cynthia is saying , which is like we all have somebody who loves us , who are our friends and family and
who are I . You know , I'm not gonna say ride or die , because that was a whole other conversation we all had , because I think that's just a weird terminology , but yeah , there's no doubt I have very many people and I feel blessed that I have people who have my back , no matter what .
I worked hard for those relationships , but I am blessed because I do have them , although you know it's never been tested , so we'll see . No , I'm just kidding .
Andrea actually it was .
You know , there's no doubt . Andrea was here during my surgery and other stuff , so there's no doubt about it . But , and Mia too , and yeah , and Cynthia has been there for me too .
¶ Discussion on Marvel Characters and Loki
Cynthia , are you in that world now ? Are you in my world of important people ? I don't know how could you even question that . You have my will . Who did I send my will to when I had my surgery ? Did I send it to you ? I did I read it ? I still have it .
Yeah , I always redo my will , like every year , but when I have a thing like I'm going into surgery , I redo my will and all my information . So how could you even ask that ? But yeah , so , yeah , it's interesting . I don't know what I see in the future , but I do like my relationship status at the moment , which is just very simple .
I am single , but I have many friends who happen to be male as well . That's all I'm going to say .
I just like the fact that , because , okay , I guess maybe I felt this way in the past , but I don't have to report to anybody . You know what I'm saying . Know , say like , where were you , but you know what time it is , what were you doing , wait ?
a minute . I have to laugh at like am I in your will , carmen ? Will I inherit billions ?
I don't know where the millions are coming from .
Sure , hey , rick . I'm sorry , I just had to laugh at that .
Yeah , no , I mean , yeah , that's pretty much it To report to someone right . Yeah , because I did feel like you know like okay , why are you questioning me ? Like do you not trust me ? Like why are you all ? You know my business , whatever .
It's kind of like what I was saying the morning and I , you know , I have scrambled eggs at three in the morning for whatever reason , and I just sit on my couch with my legs folded in a bowl like not you know , just eating and whatever , and it's like I don't have to answer anybody .
I think if I was with somebody it would be like that Like why are you doing this ? What's wrong with you ? Are you depressed ? Are you there'd be like a 15 thing questionnaire worried , like why are you getting up at three in the morning and having eggs ? That makes no sense , you know , and I don't , yeah , I don't . I love not having that .
I love not having that . But the good side about it is is I do love the idea . There is no doubt when I wake up in the morning and there's a man next to me and I haven't kicked him out yet , I love that . I love that morning . You know what I mean . Like you're with somebody and he's holding you , and you know what I mean . Like I love that part .
There's no doubt about it .
Funny story and hopefully I just won't get back to her that I said this but I'm not saying no names , but anyway , so one day we're live streaming . Yeah , one day I drove home from work I was really tired , it was a horrible day and there's like a back entrance to the basement because that's where we lived .
We still live in their parents house and I literally parked my car . I went straight to bed . I didn't go upstairs to say hi to nobody , I was just dead tired . So tired , call the hospitals , call the police . Where is he ? Because I'm such a creature of habit and schedule like everything is where is he ? Where is he ? Oh my , is he ?
Oh my God , where is he ? Where is he ? First of all , the car is in the freaking driveway .
Because you didn't go upstairs to say hi or something .
Second of all , did you bother to look downstairs , just in case I might be there , instead of calling 10 hospitals to see if I was dead .
No , but aren't you ? Isn't that lovely that they were . They were worried about you .
In a psycho way , I guess .
Trying to put a good spin on it . I don't know they care too much , so much that they didn't look for him actually in the house or even look out the window for the car .
That's what killed me more . You couldn't just look out the window .
Here's the car .
There it is .
Is this your ex-wife ?
It's somebody .
It's his ex-wife . Okay , we're going to move on to other questions . Okay , we've talked about celebrity crushes before , but which Marvel character would you want to date and or marry ? And you cannot have any cartoons or animations , rick , it has to be Marvel movies . And look , I think Cynthia's the one who's depressed with that rule .
Yeah , but it's the same characters in both .
anyway , generally , no , it's not , I don't want to hear anything about that stupid X-Men 97 . That sucked . It was amazing .
They're not getting great reviews .
Whatever , go ahead , rick . I'm going to write a bad one . No , I won't .
That's tough because it's like most people have powers and stuff , not everybody .
There's got to be somebody you're attracted to in the Marvel movie . Don't make it about powers .
It has to be . Could we include live action TV shows , not cartoons ?
I'm just saying . I don't want to hear about X-Men 97 .
To be funny and that sounds weird .
I was thinking about She-Hulk Really .
I'm always going to be protected . I ain't got to worry about nobody .
She's a lawyer , right , she's the lawyer .
Yeah , she can protect me from the law and protect me from the bad guys .
And what about her brother , her ?
brother , you mean her cousin .
Oh , is that who he is ? A cousin , a cousin , yeah , oh , that's right , the cousin .
That's how she became She-Hulk , because she got a blood transfusion from him .
Yeah , I watched two of those episodes and then I was done .
I never even watched it .
Oh good . It was good , but I didn't get into it . It did not get good reviews , so She-Hulk is the one for you .
That is so good .
Cynthia , I like Hawkeye . Oh , we love Hawkeye .
Yeah , hawkeye is Jeremy Renner .
So yeah , he's cool . He's cool . That's going Cynthia . Can you guess who mine would be ? Thor , it's so easy . It's so easy . I love Thor . I love fat Thor . I love Thor as his mother , I love Thor who loves his brother , brother , even though his brother's an ass .
But not really because now we know who loki really is you know what I mean , like after watching the amazing , amazing storyline . So now , like that changes my whole idea of him , like everything , uh , because he's holding up all the timelines , basically right . So now we realize this is just one version of him , right ? Cynthia has no idea what I'm talking about .
No , I haven't seen it yet .
Oh my God , you need to know for real .
You know what ?
Okay , all right .
I know .
I sat down and watched X-Men 97 , but I haven't watched Loki yet . No , no , no , I don't care about .
X-Men . X-men 97 is irrelevant to me , if you ever figured it out . I watched 9-1-1 and then you and I talked about you watching . You went and watched the Western wing the other day and we talked you can go see the . Oh , rick watched the American president . He loved it .
He loved it , you liked it , you liked it , it was enjoyable , it was very romantic and adorable , whatever . But instead of all that , forget that you need to watch the latest Loki series on Disney right , it's Disney Plus . It's so one of the best that were made . One of the best .
Seriously .
So well done . That was great . And when you watch that you really it changed . For me it did . I don't know about Rick , but it changed everything I thought about Loki .
Now , like even when I watch some of the old movies , you know , whatever the original Avengers or whatever and like I watched the other , the Thor , because I own them , I actually bought them I it changed my whole idea of who Loki is when he is in the first Thor movie .
Yeah , yeah , he's not just evil , evil . No , he's not . No , yeah , no .
Now you , it's just , it changes it . I mean , maybe we're making too big of a deal , but it was so good .
It was one of the best things they did . I think everybody says that Loki was one of the best TV shows that Marvel has ever done . Pretty much everybody says that .
Yeah , and unlike X-Men 97 , you don't have to watch all the backstory in order to enjoy it La la , la , la , la , la , la , la , la , la la . You don't . You can just watch this series . It'll be good . Yeah , you would enjoy
¶ Opinions on Cartoons and Marriage
it . So much .
I've seen a lot of people on YouTube say that they never watched the old cartoon , but they love this new one .
I saw a lot of people who hated it too .
I'm sure , I'm sure .
No , it's interesting . I have a lot of Black friends who didn't like X-Men 97 .
I thought that was fascinating , interesting .
When I say a lot , I mean three . It's not like I know 75 people who watch X-Men , 97 who are all black . But uh , there were three men . They were like it was whatever , but they didn't watch it . They didn't watch , they didn't know what they were watching . I think you have to be into cartoons too . I do . I think that is a big part of it .
I can't relate or connect to a cartoon in the same Like I . That's why I was being funny with you but I had to say you cannot pick a cartoon as your love interest , because I know you would . I'd be like no , I think you have to like cartoons . I don't think there's any cartoon that I'm not connected to .
I think it's the graphics too , because this generation is so used to seeing all the computerized and all the anime and stuff like that that when you see the X-Men 97 , it's drawn out , it's drawn cartoon , so it looks like the original . It's not like this high-tech computerized animation .
I don't like any animation , but sure .
I've definitely seen some animation like movies that are just absolutely like oh my gosh , this was so good .
I loved , like , like what's the movie with ? With , uh , the fish , what is it , dory little mermaid ?
or finding nemo .
Finding nemo was fantastic . I mean , that was you know , but that's you know . And the lion king is one of my favorite . If you want to talk about animation , you know what I mean . And and god , if I don't know if it's still on broadway , but seeing it on broadway was amazing too , but that's a whole different ballgame .
But but it's not that I don't like any animation . I'm saying I can't connect to it , like I don't ever need to see frozen or nemo or any of these like I saw them once I was like , oh , those are great , you know . And then I'm done . What's the one with ? Um , uh , tom hanks , he's the toy . And Toy Story , toy Story , right , right , right .
I think those are fine , but I never need to see them again , like ever . They don't do anything for me . But I can watch Marvel movies over and over and over again . I can watch romantic comedies or political movies or whatever over and over again , no problem , and find new reasons to enjoy them or whatever .
Interestingly and you know I'm a Marvel person 100 , but I would give dc this they . They make better movies , cartoon movies , than so far marvel has , although marvel's catching up .
But the dc movies are like wow , way , way better quality so far cartoons the cartoons yeah , yeah , I can't help you with that because I haven't seen those either . Sorry , yeah , I can't help you . Hey , jesse , hi , jesse . Oh , my god , I thought that was a middle finger .
I can't help you with that , because I haven't seen those either .
Sorry , yeah , I can't help you . Hey Jesse , hi Jesse . Oh my God , I thought that was a middle finger . I was like that's not nice , jesse . I was like that is not cool . Okay , so let's see , I think we're done . Does it matter to be officially married or is it just a piece of paper ?
That's deep yeah , I'm so glad that I spend time sending you guys the list of stuff , because then you're prepared to well , I mean that that one's kind of a tough one .
I mean it's like , yes , it is just a piece of paper , um , but I think in the long run legally , you know , especially if there's any type of business partnership between the couple , you know , it's probably a little better than if they weren't married , but then again that could be like a prenup type of thing , if one had money and the other didn't , or vice
versa . You know things like that .
One thing that's fascinated me , though , is because I've heard this a bunch of times people were together for years , never got married , and then decided you know what , let's just get married , and then they break up .
I was going to say sometimes getting married makes it worse . If I've known relationships like that where they're fine , then they get married and it changes everything .
It's so weird ? I don't get that . That baffles me .
I mean , I think , like when you think of couples who've been together for a long time , like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell and I forget who the other ones are , but like , I guess , oprah and Stegman or whatever , whatever the people are who haven't been married- you know , I say whatever works for each other is you know whatever it is , but but there are tax
benefits to being married . So to me it's like maybe you don't have the big wedding and you don't tell people , but there might be business . You know tax reasons why you might do it on the down low . You know what I mean . I shouldn't say on the down low , cause that confuses people . But look at Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn .
They made it work without a paper . Yeah , they also have a lot of reasons , but there's usually children involved too . And then it becomes this kind of thing of you want to protect each other , blah , blah , blah . And then it's like oh , but you don't trust me , oh , my God . And then we've just started fighting about a relationship .
That was fine before the conversation of getting married started , you know . But it's fascinating , interesting , fascinating , interesting conversation .
Indeed , indeed . Indeed , I do believe in the institution of marriage . I just I do believe in that .
I have to say that you do so much that you got divorced . I'm confused what ?
I never said I wanted a divorce . Let's make that clear right up front those words never came out of my mouth .
He got really alive in that .
I never , ever , ever . I got a phone call at home hey , we're getting divorced . Yeah , okay , you're not feeling well , no , no , I'm serious . Yeah , okay , yeah , you didn't see it coming . The sheriff's coming to your house on Friday and he's going to bring you the papers . I've changed the locks on the doors . My cousin will bring you all your stuff .
I'm like what ?
it coming at all told you I'm oblivious . Nope , nope , wow over the phone I believe marriage is a man-made institution and it's been warped into a very commercialized , very . You know , it's kind of like valentine's day . Like you know , valentine's day is now all about marketing . I hate , hate Valentine's day . Prove your love or whatever .
You know , I think a true marriage has nothing to do with a piece of paper at all . But you know , again , I mean it just wow , I can't believe . You didn't see it coming . You didn't even have any good friends around you who were like Rick man , I think it's over . Nobody told you .
¶ Marriage Regrets and Co-Parenting
Do you think now you should have gotten married to begin with ? Do Do you think now you should have gotten married to begin with ? Do you regret getting married ? I mean , I know you have your son , so let's forget about it for a moment .
Yeah , I mean , that's the thing that keeps me sane is that we have an amazing son . You know , despite all the heartache , and it still shocks me today to think about it , because we were like best , best friends for years , you and your wife .
For years yeah , did she ever explain to you why ?
We'll talk after .
Yes we will . Okay , everyone , I got to hear the tea . Thank you everyone for stopping by . We really appreciate you coming onto the show , as always . Cynthia , thank you for being here , rick Costa as well , and remember everyone . It is always all about the joy . Good night , everyone , bye . Thanks for stopping by . All About the Joy .
Be better and stay beautiful folks . Have a sweet day .