Common Decency, Definitions of Joy and Yes, a Talk About Mothers

Yay , Hi everyone . Welcome to All About the Joy Internacional . Almost Cynthia is in the house and she's where .

I am at the airport on my way to Italy .

Well we're going to Switzerland first .

Oh , are you going to Switzerland first ?

Yeah , we have to stop in Switzerland . How did ?

I miss that . Oh , you have to stop in Switzerland . And a layover , yeah , a layover , because it's not your personal jet . You decided to fly commercial this time . Just want to have fun in the commercial world of flying so you have a layover what I said to see how the regulars do it . Not like us emoji people . Let me see if I can close this up .

And you're out .

Wow , you're going to have so much fun . I would like a large T-shirt , especially from Greece , because you're going to be in Greece , which I think is the best part . I don't want like a cheesy T-shirt , though . I'm just saying Okay , hot men , give them my number freely . You know my type . Find out what's in their bank account .

Say hi to everybody hi , everybody yeah why does he think I'm ?

a big drinker . Now You're alive . Now Say hi to everybody , Hi everybody . Why does he think I'm a big drinker ? He thinks everybody's a big drinker Because he doesn't drink . I think it's funny because he has a perception of me of being like a drinker I'm a floozy , but I'm not a big drinker . That's where his confusion must be . That must be what it is .

Just to be in the sun and at the beach .

Yeah , see , I have that all the time here . That wouldn't be my thing . I do too , but Come on , I got to get a little dig in there . I'm jealous not of the cruise part .

just leave earlier .

They left a little earlier . Yeah , so they're on their way .

And I think it's going to be a good trip . I'm feeling very positive of traveling with family Because I know that's always a problem .

Hold on one second .

Hi , rick , she's listening .

Are you ?

listening to them . I'm listening Okay . So Rick Cynthia's , at the airport , how you doing Good ?

good , how are you ?

And she is waiting for her flight , which is going to be in now . Yeah , they're starting to board , oh . Do you want to be now 13 minutes ? Yeah , they're starting to board , oh do you want ? To say goodbye to Rick , then . Adios , hey look , it have a beautiful trip . Please text me once in a while and send me a picture or whatever .

Yes , I will text you once we land , so you know that we're all there .

No , no , that I'm not worried about . I'm worried about when you're all there and Emily . So take a breath . I love you . Bye , tell Juan . I said bye . Have a good trip . Bye , juan .

Bye .

Juan Bye . Okay bye , bye , cool , hang on , I got you , I got you . She's so cute . How are you Rick ? Good , cool , you might have to . Oh , hang on , I got you , I got you . She's so cute . How are you Rick ?

Good , good . What was funny today was I had to call a particular company to see if they had something in stock and she goes oh , you know what ? I'm actually going to refer you to somebody else because I'm on a plane right now . I was like , oh sorry .

That's what's going on today . So , how are you doing today ?

Doing good , doing good . We had a little mini celebration before the bigger one on Sunday .

Yeah , Okay , wait First . We have to talk about something first . We've got to talk about something because that's on my list . That's on my list , but here's what happened . So yesterday or last night at some point , when I came home from work , I saw that you had posted something that said happy birthday to your mom . It was really sweet , and of course I .

No , I was still up , oh my .

God , I don't know how you do that , but anyway you text me back and you said no , her birthday's on the 13th , because for me it was already the 13th because I'm on East Coast . Oh , that's right , but you posted it earlier , wait .

But it was after midnight . I purposely waited until after midnight .

Oh , but that's after 9 o'clock my time , right ? Oh , that's why . Okay , so I totally panicked and I was shook by it . Here's the thing , that's still cool . So 12th and 13th , and then billy my brother from another mother .

Was it a pleasure or business for Andrea ?

Oh no , her kids know it's pleasure , and Andrea is going back to Germany . She lived in Germany for a while and so she's going back there to revisit some places and she's excited to bring her daughters there , and so that's cool . Yeah , so it's a big travel time for people in the summer . I forget that .

Yeah , that's true . Yeah , True true .

When you were not having to take care of your mom , did you travel a lot more . You're not a traveling person . Nah , okay , is there a reason why ? Or you don't want ?

to talk about it .

Money's a big thing , but yeah . Plus , if I want to go somewhere , I don't really want to go alone and I'm like who do I have to go with ? Not really nobody . Mom doesn't even have a passport , and that's a whole story and a half to get into why .

I feel like Canada doesn't count . No , I'm just kidding . I think we've all been there one way or another . Yeah , I love Canada , I do . I didn't mean to say that .

I used to think like why do I have to show you a passport ? You're practically us anyway , Exactly .

Like . That's the whole thing I'm like , but that's why I called it Dear Mama . There's a rap song . For those of you who don't know , I know if Tony was here he would be like oh duh , but it's a Dear Mama by Tupac Shakur , the late and great Tupac Shakur . It's one of my favorite rap songs , but it's more the storytelling . But he's talking to his mother .

So , speaking of that song , I remember I think it was last year when I finally saw the video to that song . I was like oh that's really nice . Oh , it was you to say okay , that's why oh my goodness . Yeah , but I think of that other . Who's the guy that died ? The one that sings mama ? Who sings that Mustache ? Who sings that Mustache ?

I can't figure that one out . I don't know what the song is you're singing .

He sang it in concert , like his last concert . Even he sang it to his mom as she watched Sing it . That's all I remember . She's like mama . He has a thick mustache . He died . Freddie Mercury Is that what you're talking about .

It's killing me , okay . Somebody in the audience I'm like because I , okay , anyways , it's freddie mercury , but it's so funny because he's died like a long time ago . Yeah , and freddie mercury is one of my favorites prince . Anyway , we don't have to go down that whole road . You know what it just hurt me when you just sang that song . I don't know why .

I just thought , since he wrote so many songs , that maybe he had one for his mom maybe I don't know .

I know this is sacrilege to all fans of Prince . I don't know every single song of every single artist I love and I know this song you were talking about . Can't think of the name of it . The thing is , it's like happy birthday . Everybody should know this song you were talking about . Can't think of the name of it . The thing is , it's like happy birthday .

Oh , that's not the same song , I think so .

Okay , now you're going to make me look it up . I don't know . Now I'm getting confused because the part you sang is not the . It's a beautiful part of it , but it's not the whole song . Yeah , I'm going to be condemned by Queen fans , prince fans right now . Thank you , I just want to say thank you so much .

Because I think I remember he did like a huge concert and it was televised and he said his mama was watching him sing that song and I was like oh Well , maybe yeah .

He said his mama was watching him sing that song and I was like , oh Well , maybe yeah . Yeah , yeah , and I don't know if he wrote the song for her .

I don't , no , I don't know .

I don't know everything . I know it's a shocker . I know it's a shocker , I don't know .

The heart just stopped .

Everything Right . I know what I know Favorite moment of your mom . Okay , I'm going to go first because you're going to deflect . You're like you don't know much trouble I just had today with my mom .

No , it was not a bad day .

No . So look at again . My mom died when I was really little . I don't remember much and that's what sometimes I focus on , that I wish I remembered . I don't remember what she looks like . I have some pictures , but they're not really of when I was a kid , it's like before she had me , or so .

Kids . Today they're taken for granted . Everybody got pictures of everything today because we got the phones and everything , so they take it for granted . We didn't have that when we were little .

Now in my house .

My mom took a bajillion pictures of everything , so we got tons oh my God Books and books full of pictures .

Yeah , but here's the thing Are they Polaroids or whatever ?

they were back then . A lot of them are . A lot of them are .

So I remember and this isn't my mom , but I remember vaguely as a kid that we collective , we didn't have cameras , like they were expensive back then to have a Polaroid I can't even say that word very well , but Polaroid and it would come out so you'd have a camera for all the kids who were listening and it would be bulky , it would be big , it'd be like

And now , no , you had to pose and the button was like a slider on the bottom and it was awkward , I'm like , because how do you not shake the camera and do it at the same ?

time and you would go whatever , and then it would come out right then and there and that was cool and it would be all white and then it would fade into the picture . It would take I don't know like a minute or two and if .

Yeah , yeah , my mom , she was crazy with that . And then she had the little square bulbs that you had to put on top and they got . Yeah , yeah , they got hot too . If you touched it , you were getting burnt after that thing , oh my god , rick , I forgot about that .

So on our phones it automatically changes the light or you can , whatever , but you had to buy and you'd screw it on , yeah yeah , you had four times .

It was a square that's right .

Oh , each flash was a picture , and then you had to . You used all four and then you use another one . Yeah , we didn't have that on a regular basis , I'm sure of it now . That's or you would have a camera , not thearoid , and then you would take all the pictures that you were allowed the film .

Yeah , yeah , yeah , it's true . Photo Mat , I think , was the place we had here here , was like a little booth . It wasn't even like an had here here was like a little booth . It wasn't even like an official building , it was like a little booth and I'm like you sit in this little thing , where do you do all the work ? I must send it off , obviously .

I remember we would go into the grocery store Maybe there was a little annex or something but we'd be in the grocery store and you could leave them . And then we would not , we , but you could leave them . And then we would not , we , but you could pick it up the next time you came shopping or something .

Yeah .

So they did it for free and remember they came in those white envelopes .

Oh my gosh , we still have some . I'm sure we have some here , I'm sure .

That's so cool . So you would go and you would pick up your pictures a week later and you'd be excited and you open it up . And the worst feeling was when you would open it up and it would be like blurry , yeah , and then there would be like two great pictures or something . But when it all came out great , it was awesome .

But yeah , oh , my god , I hadn't thought about that in forever yeah , I remember we had like one that was like a rectangular like this and I had the bulb thing . It's just like a little button on top . Then we had like one like this . We actually did have a flash weddings .

I see those a lot still at weddings because they put them on every table at the reception and then people . So there has to . You're right . There's still these places that do that . You're right , there has to be and the um .

Oh yeah , that's another thing too yes , that's right , mel Melanie Now we got Photoshop to get rid of that mess . Yeah , or whatever .

And it automatically does it too . It can fix it too , yeah .

Definitely .

What were you saying about the flat ones ? I forgot .

I interrupted you .

It's all good , that's right , but what are some good memories you remember with your mom ? If you don't , it's okay .

One . Remember with your mom . If you don't , it's okay . One thing was her cooking . Cooking , she could cook , oh , she could cook . Past tense she could cook , oh , yes , she could . My god , kodak box camera oh , I remember those two .

They were like disposable ones you used to say remember , there's a podcast . So melanie just said my dad had a kodak , kodak I box camera , I know , because it's been so long . No , the only reason why I say that is because , part of again , I'm always going to complain about editing until I have an editor .

Yeah , but I remember they had disposables and you literally took the pictures and then you turn the entire camera in for the development of the pictures , the whole thing .

I think they still do that at weddings that's the only place I've seen it Because they want every table at the reception to have a camera and not just use their phone . So they ask you to take pictures and then you give it back to the bride's cousin or whatever's happening , and they get them developed .

And that reminds me of something else . I don't want to get off the mama thing , but that reminds me of something else . I don't want to get off the mama thing , but that reminds me of that post I sent you about the controversial guy that did the favor of taking pictures and they wouldn't feed him . Did you read that thing ?

I sent you . Oh yeah , I did see that . I don't know If we're going to talk about it and we can , I don't mind at all .

Yeah , I know .

We can talk about the mom stuff first . But yeah

So the video post was . It was like an Instagram or TikTok post and it was about a guy . A photographer took a bunch of pictures at a wedding and then he wanted a plate of food , a favor , and take the pictures , and he paid him for $250 , which otherwise that is ridiculously cheap and so he took all the pictures and then he's starving here .

So here's the problem I have with all of this . Number one is just , the comments went back and forth before I make my statement on it . So people were saying he was paid , he's a professional , he shouldn't expect to have food .

The thing that's different is that was his friend and he told his friend no , you can't eat . I'm like what . First of all , I'm doing you a favor , giving you a stupid cheap price , and you can't let me have some food for real . And then so one of the comments was like what if it was something super expensive ? And they just had shoestring budget .

Yeah , it was not expensive . Here's the thing that would actually be worse to me . Why are you paying me only $250 if you , you know I spent so much more on you know what I mean ? Like that would be weird .

Yeah , but I feel like give the man some food . That's your friend , my God .

But even if it wasn't his friend , I just think there's a weird I've been saying this for a long time a weird idea of what manners are , what common sense is , what courtesy is To me . If somebody's hey , can I grab a plate , they shouldn't even be asked , he shouldn't even have to ask .

Yeah , because I would have been even thinking about him like hey , are you hungry , You've been doing a lot of work , blah , blah , blah . I would have been like even thinking about him like hey , are you hungry , Like you've been doing a lot of work .

I would have asked before he had to ask , I would offer . I have never been to a wedding . I've never worked at a wedding , so I guess that's different . But I have never been to an event anywhere where there's food that I didn't feel like I could eat something . I don't know what professionals go through , but that's happy .

We still didn't say the punchline of what happened .

Oh , no , tell me .

How he got petty . He deleted all the pictures . We forgot that part . He deleted them all . I'm like bro , what that's yikes . I understand you're mad , but ooh , that's somebody's one time in a lifetime memory .

Yeah , that you just deleted . Okay , but that's your friend and you just dissed me , probably embarrassed me . That's a friend , come on . Yeah , you know what I'm petty . When I need to be petty I am . I will admit it right now , especially when it's something stupid like this . That's just and I know it's mean .

Maybe in a few years he might give it back . Who knows ? But I have no problem with his reaction . Yeah , yeah , if it wasn't a friend I would have been like but that's your friend , what are you doing ? I know , still , you should have gave him food either way , but that's your friend . You can't give your friends some food , seriously .

I'm okay with it , charlie , I'm going to be petty . So I don't know . I just think it's a weird situation all around . I don't understand why . First of all , I would say to him never , ever , do a favor for a friend . If you're going to do a favor for a friend , just say you know what I'm good , don't pay me . I'll just do this as a .

Or a Portuguese one either .

My God , yeah , or a decent human being , one , clearly . So , rick , why don't you share a favorite moment with your mom ? Or you don't have to if you don't want to , you don't want to no , I'm just trying to go back and think .

One thing that we used to do as a family all the time was go to the beach a lot in the summertime and the weekends , and that was always fun . But my mom , she wasn't swimming , she like put her feet in the water and that's it . And my dad would try never , she never went swimming she didn't swim , no , no , and and it was .

I think the food makes everything . Do you remember High ? Was it High ? Look at Charlie . Can you do this , dude ? Can you do this with your phone ?

What .

Can you do this with your phone ? There you go , beautiful man , how you doing .

Hey , what's up , guys , hey ?

How are you ? I'm good .

You know your hand is covering the camera .

You got to hold your doobie with the other hand and hold the camera . I got this over here , I know but we can't see you there you go , oh , okay . Don't drop the doobie just got to do with your other hand the whole world could use a good fight .

All the depressant right now so how was your wedding ?

were you cheap ?

I told you remember , I told you , I told ryan , I came and I told him I said hey , I'm gonna get married , I want you to stand in for me . And he says yeah where we where we gonna get . I said we'll do it on the beach in Santa Monica , just me , you , nat and folks . And he looked at me and went what are you nuts ?

Now you've got to drop the tea . What the hell is that ? I wouldn't believe it .

No , it was insane . It was like actors , gangsters . It was like I looked up over the beach I was like holy shit , look who's here ? Did he just get out ? I'm looking , you're so bad . No , it was nice . It was like 100 people on the beach and they had this thing . What are they called ? The hopa the thing ?

I don't know what the thing is . What is that you ?

know the thing that you get married underneath .

That was on the beach Like a canopy .

Roses all over it , oh yeah .

Canopy Roses all over it Some kind of archway dealio . Yeah , yeah .

No , and it was really cool , and the dolphins showed up and they were jumping around . Yeah , I saw dolphins the other day actually that's when I realized that dolphins don't need to be trained to do those flippages and stuff . They do that .

All the time they're hanging out and playing . Okay . When did you get married ? What month was it ? Let's see , that was oh shit okay , never mind , we'll edit this out so your wife doesn't hear it .

I forget what month it was , but I know it's 16 and a half years ago , yeah has it been that long ? I went to Ryan's service recently . They had it at the DGA . I come walking in and everybody has it been that long . I went to Ryan's service recently . They had it at the DGA .

It's been 16 years .

Yeah , isn't that crazy 16 years .

Yeah , that's really weird . How old is your son again In .

LA Like 50 .

Yeah , no , that's a good one 25 or something . How old is the boy , as you call him , the ?

boy , he's 16 now , ryan . Yeah , that's right , that's right , he's like this he's like this big .

Yeah , I don't want people to get confused , but his son's name is after his godfather , ryan O'Neal , so that's his son's name .

I said don't know what it's going to be . If it's a boy it's ryan , and if it's a girl it's ryan . I guess I get the picture . Hey , for all his madness and all his weirdness , my boy , he was a good guy , he was original . I've never met anyone else like him . When he was at his best he could put me in tears , man , he could just make me crack up .

You're still mourning about him . You're still mourning .

Yeah , it was a rough couple of years because I lost my cousin , who was like my big brother . I told you how I found him . I was watching television after I came back from college and all of a sudden there's an ad for Big Brothers of Queens . And there he is . Wow , cousin Charles . You know what ? You didn't tell me that .

now Is he in Los Angeles now , you met him .

I think you saw him walking around . He was like 6'5" big and handsome .

Oh my God , that's right .

Yeah , yeah , and all the ladies in the gym Charles is your cousin , Is he ? I go ? No , no , take him to dinner . I do remember him . I treat him like a manservant . I said he's game . A manservant , he's game , Don't worry about it .

It's so weird because I'm having so many flashbacks of things I haven't thought about in a long time .

He was one of the funniest people . He was always with me . He was with me when I used to get in trouble ?

Why are you saying was what happened ?

No , he passed away this past year .

That's right . You were sick , that's right .

My dad croaked and that was just . I never got to get right with him . I never saw the guy for 40 years . But I never saw the guy for 40 years . But we started talking on the phone again . Hey , what am I going to do ? Hey , charles , you want a clock ball ? You want a candy bar ? I'm going to go get some smokes .

You guys didn't , you couldn't talk , and that was it . Yeah .

It was still uncomfortable .

It was still uncomfortable . Oh , I was 12 , or ?

13 . Yeah , I'm coming . I'll be there next week . You're sitting in the window as a little kid . You got your mom over your shoulder , what do ? You love him so much for I'm the one that stayed . Love me . That's fucking insane yeah .

Yeah , you did talk a lot about some stuff , but I didn't put it all in the podcast .

We're smashing it in here , some kind of way .

No , I'm glad I don't always put in .

Let's get back to the guy who wouldn't give up the pictures because he couldn't get no chow at the wedding . Go ahead , maybe .

He said he deleted them .

he says supposedly oh , that's just awful . You know what I'm a big fan of . I like what Michelle Obama said you go low , I go high . You want to treat me like a fucking hump because you got no class . It says more about them than it says about the guy . That's true .

I'm okay with his reaction . That was his friend and I don't think he actually deleted the pictures .

He might have just said it and walked away , I think just send the whole family in horror to think that all of you for what ? For the month or half he's gonna go sulk . I'm just like okay , charlie , be a man his friend

His friend wouldn't give him a plate of fucking food .

No , I get it . I get it . But that would have been the moment I went . What you don't want me chowing with the fucking the swells with the guests . I would have pulled out the disc , I would have stuck it in the fucking potato salad and I would have said smell you later . Or that high class wedding .

You know what I'm okay with . I'm okay .

You gotta be old time .

No , but Charlie , you're focusing on the wrong thing . His friend , look , if you did that to me , okay , let's say I'm doing something for you , I'm shooting pictures . I don't shoot pictures at all .

Let's say I'm doing something for you , yeah , but I would never do that .

I know you wouldn't , but if you're friends I would never think you wouldn't right .

I give you my plate here .

That's what I'm trying to say . So that's what he thought , too we're friends , now get this .

You brought this up . I just remembered something . I was shooting Gentleman Bandit in Santa Monica . The guy who owned the bank gave us the bank to shoot him . He came over to me . He was like Charlie , when did anybody ever say to you here's the keys to the ?

bank To the bank .

We're having dinner at the dinner break and all of a sudden I hear that there's a problem . There's these homeless guys that buy craft service and blah , blah , blah . And I went what the fuck , what's going on ? And it was my birthday that day . So I walked back to them and I go what the fuck's going on ?

I don't like working on a full stomach . Anyhow , there's also a whole crew of food there .

It's not like there's not enough , but please , they're gonna throw half of it away .

Right , right , that's what I'm saying and people get , so all like pearls clutching , whatever I'm just saying your food and I'll tell you where to put it . I'm just going back to the initial conversation okay I'm friends with you , I am doing something for you for less than my normal amount of money because you and I are friends , which is basically nothing .

Oh , that's right out of wedding crashes or some shit .

Exactly .

It's really hysterical .

I'm throwing it down and walking out the house .

I can see the woman off to the side going . We're not feeding the help . With the cigarette with the giant ash on it with all the jewels . Yeah exactly , this is a charity deal . Yeah For sure . Tell that person . Whoever somebody in the vicinity Came up with that bullshit idea Of not letting homeboy get a plate , I don't know for whatever weird Freak show .

I think it wasn't the friend .

It's not the friend he's covering for somebody , a mother-in-law or somebody . I would go with whoever's paying for the child For the wedding . That's who I would go with . Who's ?

he Exactly . Okay wait , you just dropped your phone . What happened , dude Charlie ?

you dropped the phone . I'm still here . Where is it ? Did I do it right ? I don't think so .

Wow , we could have planned this . Wait , what's wrong ? Did you fall ?

We lost the video of Charlie , by the way . Podcaster people .

Yeah , his video is out .

But you can still hear me , yeah .

But it's all black .

I don't know what I'm looking for here . Come on , this is like some newfangled BS . I'm just a country . Come on , this is like some newfangled BS . I'm just a country bumpkin .

Right , you could also log off and come back up , but it's okay because we're going to wrap up soon anyway . Why don't you ?

guys wrap up and talk about some niceness , don't ?

jump off . I want to see your face again .

I don't know how to do it . I don't know what I'm doing here . Wait , that's oh , he's gone , he's gone .

He just logged off by accident . Maybe he'll come back

sorry everyone with your little ears might hurt .

Oh my god , I swore I just I could listen to him forever , like he's so funny to me and he's such a good storyteller . Yeah , I'll text him if he doesn't come back on and just make sure he's fine but it sounded like he dropped the phone yeah , yeah , because it sounded a little bit far away all of a sudden .

It was just a picture .

Yeah , right here oh , it was a picture , and then somebody was doing a .

Oh , it wasn't a video , it was a article or something hungry photographer deletes all photos and leaves after being denied food at wedding wow , that okay .

For some reason I thought it was a video on tiktok , but it was a story . It was .

Yeah , I don't know I'm okay with what the guy did one person and I guess in brazil they were like in my country that's unheard of . You would never do such a thing to somebody whatever I would totally be .

It's not about the situation , it's about you're supposedly my friend . That's that's where I would be like , oh , done out , you know mean , okay , you still didn't share .

I said we're going to the beach with my mom . It was fun . We would cook out there . My dad liked to go search for clams and crabs even little baby ones . He loves seafood . I was not a huge fan , but he loved doing that .

I'm allergic .

in case anyone doesn't know , In case you ever go out to dinner no seafood place , no seafood , unless you want to see me have a Epilepsy .

I do have my EpiPen always and notifications , but anyway , so cool . I don't remember going to the beach as a kid . I'm sure we did , but I don't really remember it bums me out or whatever . Okay , did you hear about the Transformer movie Thingamajiggy ?

you haven't heard of it .

Yeah , no , I thought , because it was animated you and Tony and all of you boys would be and it got great reviews . It premiered . I don't think it's out yet . I think it's coming out in July for some reason .

I'm really surprised . No , I didn't hear about that .

No the only thing that I heard .

You don't follow my beautiful man . That's all I don't know . If I do , no , I think I do , because I saw a picture of him . He was with his family and there was like a display with a Thor's hammer at it and he joked and said I could have called that to me if I wanted to .

Okay , so clearly you do not pay attention to his stream every single day . Because if you're a true fan of the beautiful Mr Chris Hemsworth Not that I'm saying I am , no , clearly I am but yeah , so I didn't even know they were doing this , but it's animation , it's not my thing , but everyone is giving it great reviews and stuff .

I liked it , but I wasn't a huge fan . I think Tony probably was more than I was .

Okay , it'll be interesting if we talk to Tony again . I don't mean to do it If I said if Tony no , so that's totally cool .

Yeah , Optimus Prime . Whoever that actor is , he has like that amazing voice . Sounds so cool .

Yeah , but I think I don't know what , because I don't really care about Transformers at all Transformers at all . I love Chris Hemsworth and Scarlett Johansson and Lawrence Fishburne for sure . I could take or leave Jon Hamm on any day . I know people are going to freak out about that , but I don't really care .

This , unfortunately , is not a good thing , but a guy that used to watch a lot of his videos YouTube he had three million followers one billion views on his . Like the car accident , his car rolled and rolled . Because of the injuries , he ended up dying and I was like I just watched this dude three days ago .

Why don't you tell people what his name is ?

So he was known as Comicstorian , but his real name was Ben Potter . In tons of videos he would retell the comic book stories , but not just . He would animate it , do different voices and everything and be all animated and it was fun to listen to him and he's gone Like what it was in 40 , only 40 years old .

So it's like such it was shocked me , like right before bed is when I heard it I was like I'm gonna go to sleep now I didn't know who he was , but because I follow a lot of youtubers , when I especially when I worked on a different podcast as a producer , we had to know all the top people , whatever I thought that was sad .

I'm like seemed like he had a wife that adored people .

I would prefer sorry to be in a car accident and yeah , you know what I'm saying yeah , his best friend who also does the same thing .

I'd actually watch this other guy a lot more because I don't know he's got this really cool sounding voice . But he did a video and I said comics explained is the name of the channel . Now his actual name is escaping me .

Oh , that's cool .

But he did a video and I'm like , oh , I'm going to need tissues . And yeah , I was . He was crying , I was crying . I was like , oh man , this is so sad .

I'm just okay promoting people that . That's why I asked yeah . So he did a video about his friend .

Yeah and yeah , and he said they started about the same time and their birthdays were within a few days of each other . Something like that . So he was like it was like we were meant to be friends and , yeah , it was tough yeah that's a downer , rick .

I don't know how to make that joyful , but thank you for sharing . No , I'm just kidding .

Joyful part is live life today to the fullest , because you never know .

Or just live life to the fullest . Because what's the other choice ?

I'm just saying People don't live forever . You don't know that ?

Yeah , I know , and again , I'm not arguing with you , I'm just saying this is what I mean by living in a place of joy or from a place of joy . It's like that saying is great , but it comes from a place of fear . Oh , I don't want to die , so I better live in joy . It is counterintuitive in a way .

Oh , yeah , a hundred percent .

And you have joy within you . It's not something you have to find , you just got to train yourself to use it . And I always say that happiness is external . Right , and I didn't come up with that , I don't know who did , but I grabbed onto it and I get a piece of chocolate cake and I'm extremely happy when I eat it because I love chocolate cake .

Yeah .

And what's that noise ?

Motorcycle somewhere .

Oh my God , Are our speakers and mics that deep ?

That's a good microphone , damn . That's like why not live in joy ? Why not ?

But that's what I just said . I think it's hard because people enjoy misery and accidents and yuckiness more , and I don't know why . That's a natural thing that all humans do . If there's an accident on the street , everybody slows down . No one's jumping out to help or whatever , but everyone's oh my , what's happening .

I used to hear remember when we used to have newspapers . They're probably still out there somewhere .

When they used to put them on your front door .

Exactly somewhere , but put them on your front door . Exactly . And somebody would say we make a newspaper which us just all good news , cause I said cause it'll never survive .

And I'm sure people have tried it and it hasn't . It didn't survive and that's why we don't have it . And I don't know what that's about . I don't think that's a flaw in who we are as humans , but there's got to be . I'm sure there's some sociological experiment or whatever that they've done to figure out why that is , cause it seems to be everyone .

I mean Like I'm going to walk around and have everybody's mortgage .

That's my job to start with . It's not . But how am I going to know that ?

My brain's always been that way where if I don't really need that information , it just discards it and I forget it . I just don't need it . Why am I going to cram all this stuff ? No for what . I don't need to know that . I already got enough issues with regular stuff . I got to remember , let alone all and all this other stuff , Nah .

And it's not necessary , you can look it up , because my question is if it's such an emergency , how come you don't motherfucking know your own mortgage that you pay everyone ? You know what I mean ? It's just a weird thing , but that's also taking in like toxicity . Like I'm not going to get upset that he asked that and I told him I don't got it .

Yeah , they always say we are a product of what we've been through . That's true . It molds us and makes us who we are today . If things were different , we'd be a different person , literally .

Okay , going back to our moms and stuff , I was thinking about this not to bring it down , but it's actually . I was trying to find a way to move through it . It's when I asked you about the birthday thing , when I was freaking out , I thought about this . I'm like I wonder what I would be like if my mother had lived . You know what I mean .

Or another monkey wrench .

What if your dad was in the picture ? I don't think I'd be a better person . I think if , after my mom died and after a few years of getting back on track , I found out who my father was , that might've been a more horrible thing , cause I don't think I could have ever dealt with that very well . I wasn't mature enough . You know what I mean .

Yeah , the core of you is you are who you are .

Environment changes things yeah .

They say by the age of three .

Your personality's set already by age at least three so if you're a bitch today , you've been a bitch since you were three , okay exactly I don't know , I know nothing of these things . I and I wonder is that really true ? Who's they like scientists ?

I've heard many people . Is that really true ? Who's they Like scientists ?

I've heard many people say that Really yeah , but can you change ?

Would an environment have a lot to do with that If you consciously try to , yeah , and that's why I've always said all right parenting , if you just let everything go , everything go , let them do whatever they want , just go crazy . And then when they're a little bit older , then you said , oh , now I'm going to start to discipline , it's too late .

That's because a lot of parents today I've been saying this for a long time they want to be friends , because whatever trauma they went through with their parents , they want to change it somehow . And it's from a good place , it's not from a bad place . But people need structure . I know people hate to say that no , no , I'm freestyling .

There's a gospel singer , vicki Winans , pretty famous in the gospel world , and she said all these parents make me sick . I'm just going to talk to them . I'm just going to talk to them . She goes yeah , you're going to be talking to them through a jail cell , but you're going to be doing it .

Is that what she said ? It's the linens , right , they are . That's true , though , but you'll get . I'm not questioning parenting because I don't want to hear anyone tell me you're not a parent , so you don't know . You know what .

Because I remember before I had a kid and I'm like I'm so empathetic , I could understand , blah , blah , blah , I get it , I get it , I get it . Then , when you have the kid and everybody always tells you before , you don't get until you have a kid , no , I understand , I could get it , I get it . Nah , you really don't .

Well , I'm not trying to say I understand from the point of view of a parent . I would never claim that . But when I look at parenting , I can tell which person sucks as a parent and which one , and let me tell you , I always bring this up too . It's also with pet parents , people who have dogs . I have this thing . It's the same thing .

I don't even get that .

I don't even get that Because they remember what it was like . Okay . So this is my perspective when you're a little kid growing up the way I did growing up , and I was safe from this , but I watched it .

some white people thing ? What is that time out ? What is that ? No , I'm serious , because my father you just look at him , weird that's a problem . Bam , you got him swacked . Ooh , yeah , yeah .

I think in my neighborhood there was people who got hit a lot and , anyways , I think I was traumatized by knowing so many people who did get hit . Any last words before we end for the week ? Wait , let me just tell you . I now announce that I'm going to go where , we're going to close up and we get more followers . People like to wait .

I don't know what the deal is . As long as they don't forget to like , share and subscribe .

Excuse me , it's so sneaky . I love it .

I love it , wait did you get the hat yet don't say what the hat is I'm talking about no , it says friday .

Wow , that's pretty bad too . It takes a long time yeah , I wonder why . I don't know it's okay , we'll figure it out , but I'm hoping by july stay tuned to find out what that means stay tuned figure out what we're talking about . Okay , everyone , thank you so much . It was so lovely to have you all here today . It was fun to have Charlie .

That's a song . Is that a song ? It sounds like a song , I don't know she's so sweet . I can't think of what it is .

Because we're not good enough , we don't know . But yes , I'm going to say goodbye . Thank you everyone . Remember to like , share and subscribe or hate us . It's great too , yeah , but remember , it's all about the joy and we'll see you next week . Bye everyone , see ya . Thanks for stopping by . All About the Joy . Be better and stay beautiful folks .