The Last Waltz, featuring Our Founding Members.

pretty sweet. General, I'm not I'm not very bitter about anything. Okay, I've never seen sour occasionally, but I'm rarely, rarely bitter. Um. I think you guys have to have thick skin in this biz. Bitter this, but occasionally and rarely bitter. That's not only a great forecast, but a good name for your book. And sometimes salty sometimes, I'll be I right, you some salty language today, so I like it are accordingly. Oh my, there's Vanessa raglan Venete. Hi, my, oh my,

how are you? And what the hell? Oh? What the hell? Indeed? I am mommy, yeah, yeah, yeah, good state. It's a great place to be and I love the mouth feel of my life mouth life at another great book title. I'm so uh sweet to be with these faces at this time. It is so I'm having very weird um yeah, deja vu of like, oh, this is the rhythm and these are the thing. This isn't it feels really? I'm yeah, I'm a happy person to be with these people. Yea.

Was it two eighteen or nineteen that we started James Well, two thousand eight teens when I believe it started releasing, but we started well, it was two thousand and eight teen when we started recording too, but that we started recording in like February two thousand. Yeah, I feel like March October was the Yeah, two eighteen. Oh my god,

it seems like a world ago. Hey, there's Chris Alvarado, Mike Pal Chris thoughts going into today, given our three plus year run coming to a logical end, same same, same, same, same, bitter sweet. I was pouring my coffee this morning and I was I was thinking, like, huh, this is a this is a bummer, but it's like it's a good bummer. Yeah. We we want, we want this, and there's plenty opportunity for us to perform together in other capacities or as alchemy this we ever want to do a festival somewhere

and that type of stuff. That makes me happy. But you know, we do have a standing standing invitation to Sketch Fest as a as a group, so we could technically do that San Francisco Scotch Fest. Thank you. Um, just fucking just like just like Vanessa said, happy, happy to be here with this, with this group of just fucking murderers and lovers. Oh now look out there's James Z and sweet James, how are you feeling. I am like the longest box of hash brows you could fit in.

I mean you probably have to crack that in half and put it on two different shelves in the freezer because it's long and they're frozen so they're hard to vs threw up. For Joey, I just get such a like an intestinal feeling from those words. That's how they sell it at Costo. Yeah, feel like contest packaging. Thank you James. And uh last, but I promise you he will stop drinking his own power jars if you think him least. It's Joey Greer chim chump tell us in

four thousand words or less. What all you've seen? What all you've seen since last time you were with us? Yeah? What all you've seen since last time you were with us? Well you've seen? Yeah, well you've seen. First off, I don't like coming in with a constraint. No one else had that kind of qualifier. Four thousand words or less. Number two. All right, if I'm gonna be able to say something, I should be able to use all the words I know, and as many of them as I

need be. Okay, that's a fact. Now everyone's talking about how they're feeling. Let me tell how I'm feeling. I feel like shit. I'm sick, all right, I'm sick as hell. This is the last episode. Alright, I'm disgusted. I got body aches, I got chills, a fever, I gotta running, a sore throat, I can't. I haven't pooped in like two days. What what else? It's coming out the top, there's nothing coming out at the bottom. Nothing. It's all steam. All my urine's coming out of my hand like steam, steaming,

steve steering. I don't know how to pronounce it, but it's a medical term, and it's just like just releasing from the top. So that's that's how I'm a feeling. That's where I meant mentally, physically, spiritually, I am transcendent. I do think I am part of the three Angels. I am a Harold too to God's thrown and uh, I will see you all in times. Okay, that's good. That means you believe in us, right, Yeah, of course that's very cool. There will be there will be a

baptism of fire. Well hold up, Uh, I'll take this opportunity for all the scene suggestions over these last many years from all of our listener emails and our patron v I P S. We thank you all. James has sent a lovely note to all the Patron subscribers letting them know how much we appreciate their love. Um. He did a great job with that letter, So thank you James and his own his own upcoming project, which I thought was really cool. James, Yeah, I thought, yeah, you

want to, you want to. I don't know if it was a plug as much as it was. He offered everyone to just move their subscription. Yeah, never stop hustling, never stop girl, But thank you all. You were ultimately the reason we kept gathering to do this as much as we love to see each other, we were driven by the notion that someone was out there listening. So I didn't. I thought you meant James, and I was like,

we had to keep James by the way. As soon as I started to talk about possibly giving into the notion that this was coming to an end, everyone asks James, gonna be okay, there's nothing to stuff that anyway. You are loved the most. It is clear. It is crystal clear, and that is my point. But aside from James, yes, thank you all listeners, and thank you for telling everyone you've ever known, and all the great reviews that James love to read someone and so forth. A big thank

you to you. Our last three scenes were selected by me. They were, uh, I'm gonna say randomly. I was trying to get precious with it, and I thought, thankfully, there are too many to choose from, so there's no reason to be precious. Let's just move forward, shall we. This first one comes from patron v I p Andy Montoya, who wrote scene suggestions see no preamble, no life story,

just scene suggestions. Now I'm gonna start criticizing. I think that's a compliment when clear and to the points the thing. Yeah mm hmm. Scene suggestion a writer attempts to write a romance novel. Thanks and take care, Andy Montoya, order up. And this is the old point man like because it's like not even like at the beginning of It's like when you think of the world as the world, man, it's like it's always something that's like, it's always bigger

than it is. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, because it's coming to it's going across. This is pornography. I I hear what you're saying. You're saying, my napkin draw into pornography. Well, can I I'm so sorry, I'm sorry to interrupt. Um, Can I see the napkins? See my porno? This is for work? Okay, ms. I know we're having lunch, but I'm stuck and I need something and I heard there's napkins pornography. Can give me one second. I love you. I love you so much. Okay, Hi,

So can I see the napkins. My name is Denise and my partner's name is Dennis. Dennis. I'm not going to leave you out of this, and it is funny Denise and Dennis. Um, I mean what you're working with. This is some John just made up right now, took it out. Well, I'm as literary agent. High, I'm I'm Jerry. Uh. But what we asked for was a romance novel. And what he's giving me a napkins that you tell me what they look like? Part of me? This is my I'm also my partner's literary agent. And she is a

famous romance novelist. This is too weird. This is but babe, tell him, tell him what your nome to plume is. Raba Beenah, sorry you're looking at her. This is beef, holy ship, It's beef and the flesh. I'm so sorry this I would have wore a different suit. This is not the one I would have chose for today. A collaboration between these two artists. Dennis Dennis never stopped working. I like you, Tennis, I like you, Jerry. Hi. Sorry to keep you waiting. Who had the cod guilty? Okay?

And who had the scrod on Dennis guilty? I don't like saying guilty. She always makes me say guilty, like we did something wrong. Oh well, we're about you, so I like to confess ahead of time? And did you want to a Ford top for the four of you, because oh my god, yes, yes, yes, yeah, Jerry, what if Jerry, what if you and I went over there and talk some business and let we let the artists do an artists do. I like what you're putting out there,

all right, So I'm gonna go over there with my scrid. Dylan, did you give out that scrawd yes, well that's our last scrat. They ordered a scrid. I was telling you to see it. I got some big wi coming in here to god, menu review of it. Okay, the scrub, the scra goddamn sing song with a menu. Well, I can't take scrawed off the menu. If somebody tells me that they want scrawed, I can't say we're out of scrawed when we're not out of Yeah. Yeah, welcome to the fish market. I'm gotta help you. We got we

got daily fish, daily catches. What what do you need? Hurry talk to me. What do you need? Um? Scrodrod? Who the hell are you? Excuse me? Scrod Hey, you want some scrite? Dude, just want some scrite? Okay, look look, look I know I this is select. This is a life fish. I only give it to my to my personal cut to any scribe. What then, is it with scrab today? I heard you say you have daily fishes? Yeah, and then I was wondering if you have any scried

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm closed today. I'm closed today. Hell is happening? What are you gonna do with all those fish bodies? I'm gonna take them somewhere where they're going to be used and maybe, you know what helpful? I think the fish bodies can be very helpful for me. Well, what are we gonna do with all these fish bodies in the children's hospital? That's not I'm I'm donating to you guys. Okay, I don't know. I'm the I'm the good guy. Here. Does anyone have any gills? What? Does

anyone have any gills? Yes, we actually do right here. What do you what do you need? Oh my god, I think this is crazy, but I think it might work. We have a kid whose lungs are overflowing. But I think if I could get some gills in there, we could make this work. Lungs you're filling with fluid. If we get the kills there, he can breathe the fluid. That's my idea. And I know I don't know if

it's okay. Hey, everybody, Tommy's back from his little hospital visit, but he's back in class and wanted to ask him a few words he was feeling, and um, you know, you know what what what he's looking forward to for the rest of the school year, Tommy welcome. Can I ask Tommy why he looks weird? Um, I'm amphibious? Now, what what does that mean? Explain? I'm equally comfortable on land and in sea. You have a penis and a vagina? Good what I do? But that I do? But that's

not That's not germane to this conversation. It has nothing to do with being amphibious. How are you bringing Germaine into this Germaine sit down? Sit down? You don't want to start something with Germaine, Amphibian. This is bullshit, Dennis. I just feel like, let's just swap for a while. I've been working with my client for so long and I feel like I could do something special with from from from with with with Denise. Sorry, I'm just so excited.

I'm so excited. I don't know if I'm terribly sorry to interrupt. I need to rescind that Scrod I haven't even had a bite of it yet. Good, good, good. I can replace it with any other fish, literally, any any other fish, all right, starfish. I don't know if it's actually a fish. I think that's more of a colloquialism most of the scientific. Yeah, the one with the five points that looks like a star. I'll take that, thank you. Now. I don't pretty well. It takes a

lot of cuts. I would never I would have never what part of that was gutsie? Do you? I don't. I think he's right. It might not be a fish, but I think he got him on a technicality. Jerry, Jerry, how are we gonna work together? So you gotta use my prize starfish? And that's what we're doing, my prize pet starfish. How am I supposed to go that? I can't serve starfish? I got you. I got your scrad Todd, I got your scrawd Todd. Any fish, any fish? Why don't you see the fish that we have? I don't

know what's the first thing he came out of my mouth? Okay, but yeah, he wants a starfish. Uh, he wants abraised abraise starfish. Okay, you're not gonna serve me. Are you sorry? So that's okay? I love you. I love you too. Sist seriously, Dot Jerry, what I'm saying? Where do they go? Where do they they? Probably one went to the bathroom and thought, as will make use of time both one at the same time. Yeah, I mean it would make sense. You don't want to sit by yourself at a table

that makes sense? Oh? Here it comes here it lightly braised starfish with star fruit. Thank you? Can I get to ranch on the side. Don't want to dip it and suck on the I'm sorry. The chef is kind of a stickler for you know. It only comes the way it comes. No, I just want to suck on the spokes dipped in ranch, You know what I mean. It's kind of like a cr to choke essential. It's not a lot of me, but you just suck it.

Chef Todd prides himself on the way he cooks the spokes, so it should be enough with its own juices to whet your chef Todd, Let me see the spokes. Let me see, let me see, let me see. Oh those look delicate? Yes, yes, slightly better, very nice? Nice. Okay, Now you take a back to you spoke. Let me see what do you think it needs more salt, doesn't he? Yes? Thank you, thank you, thank you for and your artistry and your honesty. Thank you. No your Hey, guys, where

were you jeering at? We're just talking about our collaboration. Let me fix you real quick. Okay, what I got some ideas? I got some ideas. It's beautiful ahead. This is a cause for celebration. You know what I mean. You don't have to use the holes you were given as a concept as a concept. Can we get can we get a sea horse cocktail? Please? I'll check with the chef. Doesn't see your horse just hanging over it?

Just what we have on the scene. One scene too comes from listener email from Nicole, who wrote, Hello Alchemists. Every time I listened to your episodes, I tell myself, oh my god, I'd love to hear them do x Y or Z so I can piss myself at work again? Yes again, thanks. Every time I finished an episode, I forget or I'm too pleasantly toasted legally of course, to right you guys, or I think to myself, I'm not

a patron subscriber. I have no right to suggest something self esteem issues much so today I said to myself, stopping a pussy and email them. Damn it. Anyway, I have a list of ideas, but here is just one. A teenage boy is given advice from a sketchy man in an Apple's apple Bee's Thanks Apple Apple, Applebee's Restaurants, Applebee's, thanks for the embarrassing workplace story that I will last. That will last until I leave. Nicole from Maryland. Okay,

so that those are the specials? Uh, do you need a minute or two? Or do you want to order? I mean I'm fine, just waiting for an Anthony Uncle Ralph. Do you want to doing order? Or I mean I can come back. I'm pretty committed to getting something for the two from the two for twenty on you. So if we can't, if we can't decide on something to go other than I don't know if we're actually gonna get it on trade. We might just get appetizers. I'm gonna give you a couple of minutes and come back,

Thank you, thank you. To drink while I'm gone. Yeah, another ultimate margharita. Okay, okay, tomorrow huggies Okay, hey, come on, pull yourself together like these are the options, just two for twenty, just any of these. When you sent me that weird what's app to meet you here? I agreed reluctantly. Okay, but here I am so sorry. I have an internet phone on way now right, so it's what's app or nothing? All right? We're family, so thank you for I feel

like we've been family for a long time. To be honest, the rest of the family thinks that you are still living in the woods, so yeah, we don't. Don't. Don't fucking say anything about this. I'm in the woods and off the grid. I want to look like, is that a gun in your belt? I mean, yeah, I live in the woods. Like, just because I'm out of Apple piece doesn't mean I don't live in the woods. Okay, So what's this about? What do you is somebody to tell me? Uh, well, really are you? We got a

new service. It's gonna be shott you today. His name is Dylan, so just like take him around the ropes, all right. I've worked at several restaurants, so I know the routine, but I just don't know the specific routines. Have you worked on Apple based before? I've worked at a chili's, I've worked at a Ruby Tuesdays. I've worked at a Bennigan's. You know, I find that the shortest answer is the right answer, which is no, you haven't worked that in Apple. Okay, so we do think a

little different. I worked at TJ Fridays as well. Okay, so you still have not worked on is gonna show you around? You see what we do around here? All right? So this is your home, what you treated as your home. Okay, welcome, welcome home. Is it Bianca or Bianca? And it Spianca like he said it and like everyone says that name. Um, that's the first question though. I mean, you know it's not. It's not. Okay, and with me already he sucks with people,

Just so you know, welcome home. This is your fucking annoying brother. I'm gonna call you Bianca. Oh go ahead, I'm gonna call you coming upon Jesus. I don't know what it means. So I wanted to I wanted to ask you a favor and also give you some life advice. Uh, it's you want to ask you for a favor and then you want to give me a life advice. It's honestly, the favor you're doing for me is the favor you're

doing for yourself In the end. It's lonely in the woods, all right, there's nobody to talk to, but it's changed my life for the better. You get your ultimate Margarita's Bhi, Guys, I'm feeling I'm shadowing Bianca and coming apot today. My name is Bianca, and I'm just gonna be keeping an eye on him. Let me know if he does anything bad or wrong. He's never worked at an Applebee's before I heard you guys are having a little trouble figuring

out your two for twenty. Can I help you? Yes, yes, please, yes, please. So the thing is, I like something kind of spicy, but he's more of like a vegetable guy, is there? What about the chicken sticken, chicken, that's not that's not even here. Sorry, wait that sounds that's not an option. It's so good, I mean it's it's it's slimed in a sticky sauce. Oh my god, and that's a kick to it. So I think that's the kicking stick chicken

like that that's not here. Just to reiterate what I've been saying so you out loud, is that is not an option here, um, and so you'll have to look at our menu to see our option. Can I speak to your boss? Please? Are you talking to me? Yes? Please? Oh, I'm not I'm not her boss. It's my first day. Okay, who did you think he was my boss? Well, he's wearing a full suit, a three piece suit. I assume that's how I work. He's dressing for the job he wants, not the idiot he is. I am. I am a

floor manager. I've been working here for three years. I'll just I'm gonna bring you some free apps and and also I know this is your second margarita, but can I see an I d Thank you so much. We're ever looking forwards it for those apps. Don't be uncool, don't Yeah, we were told this Applebee's was cool. You're cool Applebee's. Thank you? All right? So a favorite and advice. I need you to come out to with me and

love with me. Out there. It's lonely. No no, no, don't say no. Don't say no. It's lonely up her, but with another person will be great. But I need to first gather some things from your house. No, no, I'm in a serious relationship. I'm about to propose to my girlfriend. Oh well, thank god I caught you. She's not She's not good for you. She's gonna try to control you. You've never met her, Yeah, but I've met a lot of I was engaged once. Now you probably

don't know this, but you almost had an aunt. What. Yeah, thank god I moved on to the woods. Wait, my mother's brother almost had I don't even give a shit about that, you know what I mean, because it's just for me. It's all. It's all about this mood smoke, you know. Yeah, yeah, and it's just good. When the fuck is my goddamn boyfriend, like sixty minutes ago, a bitch, Let borrow my truck, Let borrow all my extra wood, borrow all my extra nails, should everything else. I haven't

seen him at days? What's that? Of course? I wanted to say, are you gonna be yes? My ass is so itch. It's okay. It comes with you know you you have ass play. It's gonna get itched. Yeah. The only thing she was good for was the gathering that I did before I left her. We were six months maybe it was six weeks. We were close to getting married. Thank god I got away and without her, I was finally able to quit smoking. Hi. Hi, So have we decided on the two for twenty? What you guys are

gonna share? Because the one thing that he said is we don't starve here. We wanted those free apps first, really to help us decide, okay, foods? I thought, I love that be right back. I was pretty smooth you getting those free apps. That's the kind of thing we need out in the woods. What the hell is three apps? One app? One apps? There's an Yeah, I think at least two you implied at least two apps. No, at least two. We're doing six apps. We're doing six hats

we're gonna do. This is crazy. I know we're full Apple. That is too cool. What's app? Oh? My god? At Benegin's we called them starters. Uh, this isn't began. What's app? I have this app short a shortened form of the word appetiser, which is a small what like a snake? Us, Mr Apataw, thank you so much for meding us here. Um, we are a huge fan of your work, right, thanks, So, we were thinking a comedy just a second, let me read this text, Tolma, you were thinking of comedy, Yeah,

a comedy um, you know, set in a place. Let's not set it yet. What's it about? People? Uh? Yeah, you know what I mean? Because it's such a it's such a it's such a relatable topic, right, yeah, well people would relate to other people. Sure, sure, yes, see you look at that. We were so excited. Let me ask a different questions since I got nowhere with what's it about? Um? Why do you need to tell this story? Well? My wife is, um, a romance novelist. You might not

recognize her in person because she's a writer. Um, but we were thinking of adapting I know who wife? Thank you. I was going to try Denise and that would have been my mistake. Thank you? All right, you want can we get two more waters? Please? Do we get two more waters? Ms? Barbarina? So what when? Uh? When does this story take place? Mm hmm, Well it takes place in a void and it and it avoid is filled with body you know, you know, why don't we do this?

Why don't why don't me? And Dannis is there? Right? Yeah? All right? Why don't mean? You? And what were the two creatives? Honey, it'll be fine, it'll be fine. A booth for two with this Applebie's so you're saying, hi, top, what do you want? Excuse me? Can you bring over a small bat of warm cream? So? What what do you do? What do you like to put on your skin? What do I like to put on my skin? Sure? Hi, guys, I'm Dylan. I'm shadowing. Uh. Some have some complimentary asked

poppers from the asp ASP poppers. Sorry, I really gotta hit both of those peas to make that clear. These are asp ASP poppers. You've had Alipino poppers. These are these are poppers with asph the poisonous snake. Chop up, chop up one snake into little bites, and we deep fry those bites, uh in breading with cream cheese. Look, Uncle Patrick, I don't know. This sounds like a weird idea. Um, don't look right now, but I think that's jut Apatow even in the woods. You know who that is. I didn't.

I went to the woods not ten years ago, but like five years ago, so you would be able to recognize what he looks like. It's shut at over there. Listen. The device you've been given me all day has been a little sketchy, you know. Come on, come on, it's not it's it's from the heart. You're telling me to leave my girlfriend. And do you live with you? You have your own noution the woods. You don't have to

share a place to me. I built my place. Yours might be started small to start, but like, give us some time, a couple of years, you'll have a Bianca's looking at you. Oh yeah, I'm sorry, I got all over me by guys. Thanks for your patients. I have your complimentary appter here for you. Oh dude, that's nice, but that's only one we were told apps. Okay, they didn't know if you're gonna be nice or just literalist jerks, but will be no biondo Where do you do you

live in the in the area? Why? I mean I don't. I don't live far from you from here. We've noticed you've been checking me out, and you don't have to worry about it. You got worry about I've been checking you out too, And if you live in the area, then it's not far from the woods, you know. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I don't think I was. I don't think I was checking you out. Um, And if I gave that impression, I really do sincerely want to apologize. It's that you seem to have some sort

of weeping lesions that are really cleaning your shirt. And I was concerned, honestly about the booth um and I was just trying to see if they are getting on the pas. But it's poisonal. It's pis before you leave, Before you leave? Is that? Is that Robina and Ja Throbbina and and I think they're it's about to get hot and heavy in here. She comes in here every it's in a while, and then her I think it's her clock. I don't know her that she comes in with they go he goes to a different table and

then stuff goes down. But this is a cool Applebee's, So just be cool and don't don't talk about it. Okay, okay, okay, thank you. Did you guys want the ces lime chicken that's your two for twenty? Is that similar to the chicken chicken? I think it is. Yeah, it's analogous to that. Okay. And if you decided which of our forty cheesecakes you'd like for dessert? Uh wow, we didn't even think about the Do we have to choose? Now? You? Do? You do? They take to prepare so yeah, I'll don't take New

York style, right, I'll take the Scott the Scott cheese cake. Okay, I'll do that to the Scott cheesecake. Did you write that on the menu? I did. We don't have Scott cheesecaket in Sharpiet the most special we should have Scott cheesecake. And that is in too our very last scene. Suggestion comes from our most prominent patron alchomaniac, Nicholas Mackauer to

Joey and Vanessa. We actually invited a couple of Alchemniacs into the zoom for a little chat beforehand, and then they could hang in the zoom on on mute but watch and and so on, and we finally got to meet this long time fans supporter. I feel like from day one this guy was writing in and he was delightful and charming. Um and uh. I just wanted to

give a special shout out to him. Yeah, he really was a hero, I would say of Alchemy list, thank you, Nicholas, And he wrote, Chris, sorry to bring this up, but ever since your marriage vows every day has been considerably worse than the last on a global scale. I mean, technically that's true ship has fallen apart, Chris, since you said yes all over the world. Yeah, yeah, I don't know why he'd felt the need to draw a connection.

You aren't the anti Christ, right, totally cool if you were just asking for anyhow a scene to remember, suspecting your husband is in fact bills above. I want James for this. Fuck it, Nick, m hmm, thank you so much for for for for all the gifts and all that. I think my folks should be getting in sometime next week. But when they do, you know, popping it down. I'd love to get dinner with everyone again. Um. And of course you know, Marie, thank you so much for the wine,

and that's no problem I'm making myself. She does in fact, yeah, you haven't seen toilet wine and teas, saying her, I haven't drank it till you drank it, and standing. Thank you so much again for the meal. It's been fantastic. So we will. I'll hit you up next week or whatever, my folks to It feels like you're short of wrapping up. I didn't realize that was time for that. Uh are we to go? Is that what's happening? This is I'm leaving? Oh you're leaving because we could go, we could go

with right, Yeah, I don't think so. No, no, no, we're leaving. Okay, it's just that the party's pretty much so for in what way is this party over? Marty? You see how much it's left in the jug? Marty? Did you call her a bitch? Yeah? I don't know. I guess I was feeling triggered by when she said that bitchy country thing it was. And here we're going to get out of here, Okay, you know you could just go. You don't have to keep announcing it. And also where to come with us? That's why I gotta

keep doing that. That's why worried. We are you scared? Just it seems more as less with the toilet wine. I feel like maybe we should have stopped one cup. Should we walk you to your cars? I mean, how bad are you feeling? We just took one car. Here, we're good, We'll carry him. Let's carry him to their car. Hop on, No, I'm not getting on his back. Hop on so hot? Oh my god, it's been just pushed into flames. What in the hell it's going on here? That was sucking? Weird? You want me to fill up?

A cantego with some wine for you. No, no, no, no, no no no. I haven't let leaving and leave me. Hold down, hold down, you ain't leaving. Uh, tell me what your seventh seal of worry is about the future. Oh, I would hate to see myself spontaneously combust like what if my husband? Well, you don't have to manifest it right to me. You could just keep that to yourself. I don't just please let me go, Please let me leave. We have rabbits at home, rabbit count nobody nobody said

anything about rabbits. You mean like bunnies. Yeah, let's go to your place and see the funny. Please don't go to my place. We'll carry you hop on. Damn, this is getting easier every day. You ain't it. Uh, let's head on over of this apple base here. See what happens. Okay, I want some pots stickers, right. I just want to

let you know this establishment is closed. Are you open it? Yeah? Well, I mean it's you can see it's open quote unquote, but I am personally boycotting it, so I would appreciate the support in Oh, you don't work here, Well, well I did you did? You did work here? And they don't. They don't treat us well. And you know, plus in

what way do they they not treat you well? Just curious people are generally shitty in there, right, and I'm boycotting it, and I appreciate the support if you two with boycotting your boy scout there was could you feed us? I didn't see that coming. I mean she was hoping to get some pots stickers, So I just wanted some pots stickers. But you're telling that if everybody's boy scouting this, yeah, does that mean we have to build a camp fires?

There's or there's certain knots involved and we should know about what's your story? What? What's your story? What? Who's asking me? I mean we're just we're getting to know each other here. I'm a discussing employee who's boycotting this established me and and and you get a local patrons of this establishment. We live in the area. So when we are hungry and we did not want to cooking in our kitchen and we venture out the grocery store, we'll come here and sometimes we did. Hello Fresh, they

bring it right to the door. You know, when you can cook it up in your town? Are you talking? You gotta get the hell out of your buddy. Get off. You gotta get the hell out of here. Okay, off me, I'll no, no, no, that's all right. It's I don't worry to worry. Please come in. Uh. He's a local cook, so he just gets cooked. Uh every restaurant that he gets cooked. You're saying, he's not a cut from out of town. No, he's a local car that local cut. Come on it, come on it. Can I get you

a free drink? Maybe a free advertiser? I'm so sorry for the convenience. Can we start with the table, of course? Yeah? Both low top the top, It is both for lower like some I know, I've been out in the woods for a long time, but I know him when I see him. Look over your left shoulder. See the horns and that guy those a little tiny horns on his head. You're saying that. You're saying that guy's a is a is a devil or a demon of some kind. You see it, You see it too, you see it too? Yeah? Yeah,

any who, thanks, I'm lost. I'm lost in these woods. I'm certainly distressed by the by the horns. But I don't know if you law so I feel like you found something in the woods, would be you should stay. You should stay and hang up for a while. I've got an extra room in the police that built and you can keep this. You can keep this painting at me? Who this is? Uh? This is experimental. Well, honestly, that was my first attempt at doing the Devil. It didn't turn out good. I like, I want to keep the

real one with me. Well, there's kind of a ramshackle place there. You've got room for me, well for now, but if you stay with me, you're gonna have to build your own place. And I'm expecting my nephew to come out here soon. I think eventually it's gonna it's gonna give the bug the bug bite to come on out. It's not the little a bug bite, but it's gonna start nipping out him. Well, I could be handy in a pinch, I'll tell you that much. Well, that's good.

I'm glad you found me, Marvin. This is really wonderful. I mean, my husband were just taking a stroll through the woods. I couldn't help am not as you're beautiful, hotty. He don't don't let them in. We were just don't give him permission, vampires could come on in and say, howdy, neighbor. Oh are we neighbors? Did you live out here in these woods? We're local, local, local, not loco. Say local. I said local. Well, it's kind of difficult to understand

what you're saying, sir. Maybe if we came in we could hear you better. I've been advised not to invite you guys in for fear of possibly being vampires. Vampires they ain't real because of my husband's school powers. Yeah, I'm just I'm just Jewish. That's why those are there. Our score, pappas. Those things that they're deep fried with cream cheese, those are good, asked papas as. Papa Lewis Um. I don't know how to say this, but your uncle Um was found completely drained of all fluid in his

home in the woods. And I'm still going all right, we're still broken up. I know, You're just I'm still unpacking, you see, my bags are packed. I know, but I just found this out about your uncle, and I know more stuff. Well, it just feels to me like what's happening is my girlfriend is upset that I'm leaving her because I'm moving to the woods. And now she's making up a lot. Yeah, well your uncle was found drained

of all fluids because he gets damp. Heard you're gonna go out there and get You're gonna get sucked off in a bad way. You like that? You off fine? You know, I didn't want to say this, but yeah, oh really, right on my way out, you listen to me go to the woods. I'm gonna I'm gonna miss you when i'm out there. Okay, And what are you doing?

We were about to get we were about to get proposed, do you I'm gonna miss you when I'm out there, Baby, Marty, I don't understand why you won't publish a story on all these this this local rash of fluid drainings. Well, it's rather simple. We've had this story in here before, so it's not fresh exactly. It's a pattern of deaths that are affecting this entire community. My story local cuc drained of all fluids. I'm sorry, it just feels tired.

You know, from like two years two years ago, the beginning of the pandemic, everybody was drained, you know, the fluids they're going and how is this my my conserstus, Well, you haven't reported any mass shooting since Columbine. Yes, a B. When the story is covered, you don't want to repeat it. I watched the point, We've we've we've read it, we've seen it, we published it, and now people want to move on. All right, baby, I'm glad he chose to come come with me. I think we're gonna find a

really nice community out here in the woods. Baby, it's just your uncle. I don't know. I get the feeling more people will be there. You know, how did you get that feeling? Look around? Your looking your uncle was strained of all. What the hell? What are you? I'm a lady. Hell, I'm just a lady. I'm a lady, and you're welcome to the woods. We're glad to have you come on. This is what I'm talking about. Isn't this your uncle's place? Are you two kids? An item?

What they call all in the paper. I'm not a child. I'm twenty four. Okay, you're aggressive too, are you and Adam? Are you hitched? Yes? Yes we are. Well we're kind of like we're kind of in the well. We'll see. Okay, say I've been their sister. You know what you have to do? Looking for. You gotta first survey here. So I let me give a piece of advice to the young, beautiful, fleshy woman. Listen when them when the fella says he's not sure, he's dragging his feet, do you know what

you gotta do, your sister. No, you gotta take his feet. You gotta you aint him up on top of your shoulders, and you gotta gobbling with you, gobbling with you. Take your feet on top of my shoulders and then go with you, gobble him with you, so you it's a goblin with me. Thank you everyone who's gathered here as we watch our dear friend Marvin mceugh take his last breath. We're live streaming this right Okay, how do we know when it's the last one. I'll let you know. He'll

he'll let us know. Um. He requested all of you, specifically, all the characters he's meant in his life to be in this room with him today. People, people would say, People people comment, I think I like to make doubt she's real. College you ought to be dealt with. Did you want to say something? I just so I feel like it was inappropriate to invite me. I only had him at my hotel one time, and honestly I didn't enjoy his company. Do you remember what room he was?

I think it was fourteen twelve or something. There's no way to find out. You can't do even a search without specifics, basically a ship this time. You know he's a bad guy. Yeah, he's not a bad guy. Remember remember when he was on that TV show with that kid. It's like a reality show. Yeah, what was that? I don't know, he doesn't remember, squat. This might be the last. This might be the last one. No, damn. I was just about to hey you too, the Australians back there.

Your way through, but your way through. I know you had some interactions with Mr MQ. I'm going to say something. Go ahead, yeah, I I mean I think we did. Not Hans are preceen if we did. But regardless, I want to be here if it's someone's final death breath and uh just happy to be here. Right. It feels like it could be a good times so that maybe he'll go up or maybe he'll go under a sorry no are and are are? It's not to be invoted. We you know, eats said, but it's all sorry maybe

not said. I don't really nice, so good to see so many old friends and uh and have so many stream Oh shame, it's got a lot of viewers. I think we gotta keep it going till that less. I think someone's stuck on an elevator. Hold on, what's what's yeah? Yeah? Yeah, yeah yeah, marm, marm. Yeah. Well we're gonna keep this dream going. What do you want to say? I was gonna say this place used to be a brothel years ago, but no, there haven't been this many pimps since since then.

Uh but uh oh, so so many callbacks, I mean memories. Uh but yes, Uh, I'm I've lived a good, good life. I'm a hundred and twenty two years old and I've I've done so many things, lived so many lives. What was the third thing you did? What it was? Booked my pants? Right, we're not gonna end on that. I was just backing. I was the machine the hell out of me. I'm sorry, you're a little you're a little pitchy.

You might want to work on that. I guess you here. Yeah, to be rude, But is there a reason to believe that ms mcugh is dying? That's a valid question. That was the only information I had. Yeah, and and technically we're all dying. But Marvin, how do you feel? I feel fine because you look like a hundred damned dollars. I'll tell you what. Well, that's good to hear. Yeah, what happens when I pinched sprinkle up? Wrinkle up and green? That's wrinkled up and it's a joke. I'm a character.

Oh she's a card, real cut up. But how what happens when I pinched this tube? Well? Nothing, nothing, nothing, I'm hard to kill, you know, that's just one of my two Sorry my back. I don't think he's dying. I think anyone watching the stream. Yeah, but they're all really upset now that there's no death. People did tune in for death. You're not wrong. I mean one of us could volunteer. I suppose volunteer. Yeah, yeah, we need

someone on camera. I think, oh, well, listen, we could also wait for one of them nurse people to come in and just snuff them out as a group. As a group, I mean it's for the fans, right, Yeah, I wouldn't listen to the guy with the horns. That's anti semitic, right there, Marvin Well, I I didn't mean to be. I'm I'm Jewish myself. Are you do you? Guys? Put the camera on the elevator. That guy's head is caught in that. Don't hold the door, let it go.

Hold Look it looks like he's holding some pumper nickel. Oh that is our show. Oh man, Well we tried, we tried to move. Oh manly apologies. No, that was that was perfection as we stumbled down memory lane only to be uh cuckled. Ah what a damn hell wonderful gathering. And man, oh man, we uh will say so long for now. At some point. I don't know if it's goodbye forever, but we will be allowed legally to gather again at some point should we choose to, but we will.

We'll say goodbye to the to the fans of this particular podcast for now. Joey, how long do you expect for? How much longer do you expect to live? Um? A couple of thousands? Okay, all right? And uh, have you had one COVID test since you've been ill? No, I've had three, had so I've had three and then today was, uh, you're you're positive, which is so crazy because I had I was sick as you can hear, and then I took the test. So this is just a little COVID advice.

Two years in. It might be sick taking a test that I'm negative, but it's gonna take a couple of days before it like pops up as possy. Uh huh. And these are the hometown Will you find the home test to be a little rinky dink? Even the alleged good ones? Did you go somewhere and have people swap you from the outdoor? No? No, I did the Uh, I did the rinky think ones. I went to the I got the CBS, not the uh not the abbot

to buy the next ones with those orange ones? Uh huh, that's the one I have, all right, James settled down, James, James. Uh yeah, Jamie was testing positive and then she got

an antigen test because apparently can test positive also. I mean, you're only a couple of days into this, but you can you can test positive for allegedly months, So the antigen tests will tell you if you're in fact contagious, right right, Because it's all we've learned so much, haven't we go When this podcast started, we were so stupid. We didn't even know about antigen tests or PCRs and look at all this growth we've had. I feel good

about that growth as well. We're still stupid technically, but we do know a lot more about viruses and how to fight them or get them, get them and survived them. Uh well, Joey, much love to your family for looking after you. I also have another podcast, yes please if people want to come hear me scream some more. It's called you Know What I Would Do. It's me and my comedy partner Mike Castle, and we just talk about different random things, from the fall of Rome to the

met Gala to the naming of the hot Dog. We talk about what that is to us, all the information we know, and then we would say, well we would do if we were in charge of that situation, and folks define that wherever podcasts are available exactly and you can find it at you know, underscore pod on Instagram. Somebody had much, somebody had the other one. So that's too much. We're gonna do? What are gonna do? What's the name of the podcast again? Do you know what

I would do? That's correct? And thank you? I feel better, thank you. Uh yeah, I hope you're able to poop some God, I hope I can eat something too. Let's not rush that. You're right, start with a cracker. And also, let me say this has been a blast four years right now. I mean this has been really fun. We've met so many great people, insane scenes. Vanessa, you're a thousand percent right, like it is unhinged to the max.

It's been so much fun. And especially during like covid on like it was a nice retreat, you know, it was a good, fun kind of home base to come back to and performing. Yeah, in the real scary thick of it. It really became a weekly touchsnowe for for me. I don't know about the rest of you, but yeah, something I really look forward to, almost as much as today.

But yeah, it was once we stopped having to look at each other, I think the show really picked up person to look into the camera of the computer or device or look at each other in the boxes. That was always the difficult transition for me, what do we look at? But yeah, thank you for that, Joey, And thanks, um, thanks, thanks, thanks Vanessa. Uh the theaters coming up on five year anniversary, eiter, Um, so many extraordinary shows. Is it's still Donny C. Typewriter

dot com. That's the place that is on the internet for the calendar mm hm and you can see things. And because of the pandemic, we started doing live streams and so now we're doing some hybrid shows still, which are really fun as a way to keep things out in the world. Um, and we might be doing classes and stuff soon. But yeah, this, uh, this whole journey has been so special, and the timing of alchemy this I wish I had had more bandwidth for everything. But

my life is mostly the theater and then the children. Um, and it's a good life. But this is such a fun part of it. And I thank you guys for inviting me back to this episode. I'm almost gonna cry. But it means a lot to um to be with everybody because this is like such a good safe playground and I am so appreciative and it felt good to actually improvise after all these years. I imagine, yes it did, yeah, I mean it was. It was a bit of a departure you, um so wow, just terrific and thank you

yeah yeah yeah uh. Craigkowski coming around the horn, you are headed into booking more shows that James was so close to getting. Is that what I'm sensing? Uh, Well, the Continuing Adventures Marvin mqugh will continue on the Chemistry that podcast. Oh what about The History of the World Part two? That's a television series you did? When does that drop? Yeah? You know, I've got a few things like in the books that I have no idea when

they're gonna air. Like I've got got a guest spot on the History of the World the part two The mel Brooks Show. I have heard no word about when that premieres, but that's gonna be on Hulu on Hulu. Yeah, And I'm about to shoot a a bit part in a movie that's a drama, and you're gonna see way more of me than you would like to. Oh. But yeah, so I'm kind of moving away from the comedy, moving more into the nude drama. So you're in the new season in Bridgetain that the people have spoken and that's

what they want to see. Holding over Miami, got it? Yeah, but this I mean to have the original cast back today was like such a such a treat and like to to just play with everyone and like it's so joyous and and fun and I thank you for the uh for keeping it alive and for for creating it, and like what a what a great opportunity for us all to uh to have a blast and to to get closer as as friends and as collaborators. So I

love to you all. Oh nice, so nice. Yeah, well you were such a corner stone Craig that um, you know, Vanessa had a contrant in the theater and the children, Joey had nineteen plates to spend, and we somehow pressed on with some amazing guest alchemists. But as soon as Craig said I think I'm a step away, Chris and I started texting each other's thing. Well that's it. Well, that's it. Cornerstone is checking out. We gotta go. So thank you for being that cornerstone, Craig, Chris Buddyo pal Um,

thank you. You know you. I feel like you've been an emotional heart and uh of the whole thing and in a sense of family. Uh. Also, you were guest hosting a couple of times that I think you enjoyed. Yeah, based on some stats I saw hosts. Yeah we should should we talk about the Yeah. Also just thanks man, I'm this is the dream team. I remember when we had lunch Kevin and you talked about this idea so many years ago, and U and I just I just was like, yeah, this is it. This is the team.

Every one of you guys like this is incredible, and it's been incredible. I don't think I ever found my footing in the Zoom situation. Though it's a little hard for me, a little a little difficult for me, but happy to have a place to come every week. Um, and you know, we're all still doing a bunch of shows everywhere and we'll continue to do them for the rest of our lives. So you know, that's that's fun. And you know, I'm kind of building my own, uh

my own improv training empire. I just sold out my first six week class, so you know, I'm trying my own stuff here. I don't have it landed on a branding name, but right now we're dealing with the Chris Verona Improv Workshops. If that's something you ever want to give it a shot. I do in person workshops, I'm having classes, and I still do online stuff. If that's I just want to say that out loud so it lives here. Yeah, I'm really I'm really proud of the

work we're doing there though it's not that funny. Frankly, it's a little more dramatic. But anywhere, that's that, That's what I've got going on. I just I'm not I'm gonna see you guys forever and see you guys on TV and on stage. But yes, let's mention here real quickly. Uh. A gentleman named Jason Sura name, Yeah, but it's yes, fine morse surname which would be interesting last name right. Um. He showed us an email. I'm gonna read this real quick,

he said, Hello, funny people. I hope you don't mind, but I logged every appearance of every Alchemy this across every episode y'all have made and put together this dashboard and here's a link here. Um, it's a really interesting idea. But what from what we can gather from the small amount and we've we've looked at it. It's just a way, it's a hub of way of locating every episode with

every player and every combination you can think of. So if you want to see, if you want to hear a show with Vanessa hosted by Cole, I think you can find these. There's an algorithm there in place. I don't know too much about it, but check it out at public dot tableau dot com, slash views, slash alchemy this al comic tricksy. I think, I think if you go to public dot tableau dot com, I'm sure you can search alchemy this and find this really incredible, incredible,

uh database of everything we've ever done. So thank you to to Jason for his contribution. Yeah, that's kind of extraordinary and just a scoche creepy, but I love every square inch of it. Um. Yeah, James, I want to reiterate that that that database is amazing. We have just gotten it, so it's kind of exciting and it's kind

of mysterious still. If can't mind it there, it's on the Alchemy This pod, the Alchemy pod on Reddit, so there's a link to it there, and I'm also going to make sure that that's on the Alchemy This Patreon page, which is going to So far, everybody that I've written to has said that they're okay with it being free,

which was kind of a caveat. So all of the Alchemy This Patreon stuff, the minis and the the live shows and the green room stuff is gonna be for free for anybody on the Patreon, So any of you, everyone listening can sign up to that. Anybody they can sign up. It's gonna be free. Whatever the free tier is, you take that, and I'm going to make sure that

that's living there. If for some reason they're gonna make me take it down or I don't know what's gonna happen in the future, but as of now, it's free and as far as I can, as long as I can control it, it's gonna be free. Um. I don't see any reason we get taken down, and I'll have the links to the YouTube channel things with all of the zooms uh. And I've had so much fun doing the show. I love doing and honestly, zoom Improv doesn't bother me as long as it's with people that I'm

connected with. I struggle with it also with people that I haven't worked with in the past. But I plan on starting another podcast which almost identical borderline thievery of the format, and it's going to be called Original Understudies, um, and kind of the idea of like, maybe this isn't the cast you expected, but these understudies, well they're pretty original, and it's gonna be at Original Understudies dot com and yeah,

so I would love it. My hope is is that it might not be something that you can do all the time, but maybe once in the blue moon, if I could get any of the Alchemists to join, that would be will blow my fucking mind, is what it would do. Thank you for that, James, And uh godspeed? And are you going to be okay? James? I mean I was. I was never gonna be okay. I think you guys took me from a from a pretty like I thry even this kind of world, so that it is.

It is heartbreaking, honestly, but at the same time, I'm excited to see what comes next. I feel like always when one thing seems to close, I have been so lucky that there's a dozen doors that open in front of me. Fantastic When well said for a change, I uh um, well, yeah, so this was a ridiculous notion I had that I shared with Chris that day at lunch.

I'd been to the West Side Comedy Theater enough times to see some brilliantly uh gifted improvisers who were fearless and fast and mostly funny, So I thought, um, what would happen right if we didn't allow people to move around while improvising and sit at a table in front of microphones. It was really stupid, uh as as that process goes, but um, everyone kind of thrived in the room and then yes, the pandemic allowed forced us to pivot. So yeah, it really became or has been through this

journey an extraordinary experience in every which way. And to know whenever I had to step aside because of this, that or the other thing, that uh, not only Cole Stratton will thank him, but also members here in the Zoom, Kristen James and Craig uh could step in as as guest hosts, which empowered James to realize, oh I can fucking do this and watch him, watch him sore um as I know all of you will continue to do. And thank you for each of you for taking the journey.

Um and and yeah, just on a completely selfish level that allowed me to to realize this nutty idea. And uh so yeah and thanks to all the listeners and viewers and Doug Bam and I Radio and yeah, Sophie was one of our producers early on. She was great. Balls were on the ceiling all the time, the dogs, balls, dog Anderson Cooper right, glass ceiling between us and the second floor, and her dog and it's testicles did, in fact walk over our heads several times. Thank you for

that memory, James I had somehow let it go. Uh. Never again, that's what we say, never again, never again. Um yeah. God clearly don't want to say goodbyes, so we'll say so long for now to each and every one of you. And until next time we meet, be well, uh joey poop, and and thank you.