Professional tailor

were so good. They were so good. Everybody was just talking about all the weight they've lost. Yep, and uh, hey, congrats. I'm just gonna fucking fatten up. How many cookies? How many cookies did you make in the betch I take we We have a small oven, so with a small tray, so we were limited to nine cookies. I froze the rest of the batter um. I had five of them in Carla had four, and I think she was under

the mistaken impression there was an even amount. So I was like, do you want to split the last one? She's like, no, no, it's yours. It's your it's your fourth one, and I knew that I I tricked her into an extra man and with no regrets, no regrets, no thank you for sharing all of that. And now let's checking with Chris Alvarado for his wedding planning hot tips. Mr C Tip, huh, let's see things to avoid. Let's start there, things to avoid to avoid. We can come

back to you, we can go back. Is this one of those where do I begin? Everything's going so smoothly, everybody? What, Yeah, it's just going smoothly. Everything's working out. It's never heard that. My only tip would be find somebody you really love. You know what I mean. It's a great tip. Thank you. Yeah, don't go into it with the kind of love thing. Yeah yeah, yeah, it's about committing. You gotta feel better than Hey, there's Caroline Carter is capaid super fan. As

you understand it. What is the truth about Santa Claus? Well, according to what I know, which I think is the most scientifically up to date information, I think it's this old pervert that slips down your damn chimneys and leaves his greasy little hands on your presence. He's real and he's hot, hot PERV hot per party of one can't get enough. Look out it's James Heeney, Bobby Jean heen Have you ever done a production of a Christmas Carol?

And if not, who would you like to portray in one that I'm staying if you're getting paid by the line, I want to be of an iSER screw Are you seeing check? Please? Yes? Evan James, I've never got somebody more on branded than you are. I mean, you never disappoint you are you are consistent to put the coffee down before I spill out myself. One of these days we're going to learn that that the jokes on us.

He's been talking all these up on purpose. And last but no more squatty potty for you if you think him least, it's Joey Greer Boner donor please explain why you're all ba humbug this year. Well, I'm actually clouded up from the Evan Niser. All right, let's do it. That's a bonus. That's a bonus if Joey's clouded up, let's let's celebrate that. All of our scene suggestions are gathered from your listener emails or from our lovely patron

V I p ease. How what's that? You'd like to become a patron's part of the show and enjoy exclusive content like I don't know, standalone bonus scenes that were made just for you, or the video of what we're doing right now. Well, just head on over to patreon dot com slash Alchemy this. If you'd like to submit a scene suggestion by email, please right to the damn podcast at Alchemy this email at gmail dot com. That's Alchemy this email at gmail dot com. Because everybody was

clouded up. Scene one from listener Chase, who wrote, Hey, Alchemists, It's Chase Bennett from Kentucky. I've been a listener since the beginning this week. My town was hit by a devastating tornado. The morning after. There was no power, no internet, no gas station beside my house anymore, so I had to stay in being stuck inside, I wanted to listen to something. No Internet, I had to look to what

was already on my phone. The only thing I had was Alchemy this from two thousand nineteen, and what's the first scene? Everyone stuck was stuck in a target because of a storm. Yikes. I took this as a sign to write you. I love each and every one of y'all. My scene suggestion is professional Taylor love Chase. Now, before we start that one, I went to Red Cross and made a donation on behalf of Alchemy. This uh so inspired by Chases. Uh missive, so thank you for that Chase.

Uh personal No, professional Taylor, professional tailor. You know what I'm saying. I need to get I need to get the pants hemmed, they need to be shorter. See you look at me? What do you see? Do you see my hype? Yeah? Okay, so when I buy pants, they're always gonna need to be short. But hold on, I don't know. Put these shoes of those shoes, yeah, put them on, They're gonna add a couple of inches. Okay, wow wow, look at that. No, I don't need to

him them now right. I mean, if I have these shoes, what about all the other shoes that I'm so sorry. I know I'm not a tailor. I'm just in line. But you've just extended what's underneath his pants. It doesn't actually doesn't change his his his pant legs. Thank you, thank you for that. I'll wait quietly behind No, no, thank you. What is your name? Jerry? I was gonna say, Jim, Uh, pretty close. Let's thank Gary. Jim sir cheery in Jerry, Jerry, I'm sticking with Jim. Sir. Can I take the shoes

off and we have the pants to my bottom? I don't like that, m I'm just going with Jim. Jim suggested. Also, have you been drinking? Just a none of my business. But I'm about coffee and water. I'm so sorry. I'm not I'm not a professional tailor. What are you? What are you professional? I just do office work, secretarial stuff, secretary, organizational. Yeah, I organized and alphabetize it, put into numbers. Jerry, you're late again, bud Well, I'll tell you what. It's uh

time I'm gonna be late. It's the last time I'm going to be late because I'm putting in my two weeks. Notice. Look, I think you gotta leave now. I was gonna give the standard two weeks. I think you're good now. I kind of I kind of was counting Bob Garry. You guys think Jerry shoul leave now or you wanted to stick around. Um, he's a he's a piece of sh it. Well, it's just that I've got a new business plan. But I. We don't want to. We don't want to hear that.

I just finished what I was doing before lunch. Sorry, were you waving me away? I was waving away. I don't give a guy. Damn. What they're saying I need is six hundred thousand units today? Did you just bump into me? Oh my god, look at your suit, sir, Jesus Christ. Put that box down with all those weird things inside for a second. Let me look at that suit. Oh my god, that's a good suit. Do you have a job. I am in between job. Shut the funk up. I want to hire you right now. How does six

figures sound like a hundred thousand dollars? Just how many figures is it? That doesn't quite make it to a million? I'm talking six figures. Let me pull them out right here. This is one figure. Get this figure here, check this out and all so I can pay you three dollars a year. That's more than I've ever been paid in my life. Well, listen, I need to yes, know right now? Do you want to work for me? Yes? Yes, fantastic. They put this little pin on you right there, a

little It's okay, sir? What do you mean you just hired this guy off the street. We just I just fired him. I need six hundred thousand units. And now, what were you saying? He we just fired him? Who's I fired him and we supported him from the other room. I was chasing a fly out of my office and I shoot, So let me get this, Let me get this this correct, Ralph. You can't fire him yourself. You have to have other people do it. I just I needed some support. Yeah, some supports. You know, you do

need some support in tailoring. I just hired a man with the most fantastics you would I've ever seen. Actually, all three You're fine, so you can get good suits. And hey, how you doing, miss time stand from stands exterminating You said there was a fly that was bothering you. Yeah, there's just one fly. It's kind of awkward that we're in my office now since I was the one fly and you called us to come in and I can't get it killed. I can't kill it, okay, I want

to fly dead. And the irony here is that I was fired from my job, so I'm not technically supposed to be in my office right now. But that's how badly I want to kill this little fly. So if I tell you that we only do catch and release, was there a problem? Yeah, there's a problem because also on your website you have a fly hanging by a noose and graphic. So I to mean that if you would kill the flies not release them. Yeah, well, you know, listen at all, relative man, I don't think you understand.

Exterminator is a loose word. We don't really kill anything. You understand, Um, do you get that? I do understand. I actually don't understand. I'm sorry. Exterminator means let me take out my dictionary here. Exterminator to a company that kills things till they're dead. Carry carry, we gotta, we gotta go. I just need to kill this fly. I will leave a little bit. Tell you were right to fire those bozos, because if they promise that a fly will be hung by its neck until dead, then they

should deliver on that. And that's what we do. We execute. We we don't. We don't just exterminate. Exit. Yeah. I saw you have the lethal injection and you have the firing by um like a squad. I like that too, which one day one we're gonna do any or all. I think I would prefer the firing by a group because I think I'm sorry, but my fly, that's right, my client, I'm not gonna be had shot at until there is a trial by his peers. All right, We're gonna have this done correctly through the law. This is

not cruel and unusual punished. I think he is to be executed by a squad of his peers. Flies with guns are going, Oh hey, Jerry, I am and you can see I'm interviewing from my old job. Well, uh, you can sit down and try. But I kind of have a preconceived idea of you from my previous experience working under you, and I get that that seems fair. I just if you'll notice the suit. It's a nice um and with that came an attitude change that doesn't

surprise me. Okay, so this is good. I mean you probably know right as soon as you got a new suit, good things started happening to you. Right. Well, honestly, the suit itself was pretty good, but I had to take some scissors to it. The finishing touches to a suit that really makes it customized. You know, did I ever tell you the story of the first pair of pants I tailored? Is this part of the interview. No, you're probably not going to get the job, but I'd kind

of like to tell the story. No, thank you, well never so is this your restume? Yeah? It only has this company up. Yea, this is this is the only job I've ever worked at. And you're not getting very good references from us. From Bob and Carry are also in the in the waiting room. I help you treat them a little, they'll be treated better, but they're still going to get the job. When I was, when I was on the up and up, I was about to start my own business, and instead you crushed my dreams

out and I was crying down? How did I crushed? In between? I gave two weeks because I care. No, we got to see Bob suit. It's fucking insane. I don't even deserve this job. And Carrie, I mean you'll see you know what, after careful consideration, I think he left. Can you send it Bob or Karen? Jerry Jerry check it out? Triple breasted, triple breasted. Oh that is not what I thought you meant when he said triple breasted.

Then that has seen one just rolled her eyes. She did that was you're enjoy the crossing and rolling, had an audience full of people and the sound of them rolling their eyes perform. I just I just had a tux tailored and the gentleman was doing the hymn part and I said, how long have you been? Have you been doing this? And he looked at me with this like forever gays and he said, I've been doing this since I was a fifteen years role. Oh god, I mean this man was so old this and I felt

like I was in the presence of an actual master. Yeah. Not not your local dry cleaners. I'm talking about Uh, you know, he gets it. Yeah, there's no way to have sucked for sixty eight years at that. That would be something serious. Ripley's scene, too, comes from Patron v I P. Larry Stewart, who wrote, Hey, Kevin slash Cole, that's fair. I hope all has been well, James. As far as the whole Larry Lawrence situation, in your defense, my name is not that common as common Anglo names go,

not like your Mike's, your Chris's, your Kevin's. So I get why you wouldn't be aware of the Larry Lawrence connection. Now he's letting you off the hook. And I'm calling bullshit. Oh come on, Kevin, No, you're right, James, I'm sorry. Anyway, my suggestion this time around is Her Majesty's Royal Marines. Hope I can make it out to l A to see you guys live if you are back doing that. Best wishes Larry Stewart if you hear this in time, will be at the West Side Comedy Theater some of

us on Sunday, Anuary six, at eight pm. If you're hearing this after the fact, man, did you miss one hell of a show Her Majesty's Royal Marine. Al Right, everyone knows standing attention please this. Yes, now, as each of you know, you've all brant in from your different sectors for very specific mission, you've already had attention attention. Yes, I asked the questions. I guess Oh yeah, you you slipped a new bit of a French checks sent there for a moment, and I'm just curious, are you in

fact the leader we were told to me? Interesting, you've actually passed your first test. I am not on English, cut on, I am a Frinch knows this that this mission calls for unification of our People's follow up question, if I may understand where her Majesty's Royal Marines. Right, yes, right, So being led by a quote unquote frog seems odd to me. Now, well, if if I if I heard correctly you decline, what is the very tail end of that speech you met? You were about to segue into

a German accent? Yeah, I noticed that too, but noticed that she sounds like she might be a much bit Australian. I don't know who I can trust here anymore? Right you You should comment on people's accents, that's for sure. Wasn't going to say anything, but you sound Australian, your majesty. Um, it's happened, it's happened. Who is this? Who is this amating side my chamber? It is someone from the someone is coming. It works for you. We remember you hired

him last year. His name is Roger right, Roger, Roger Steele, Roger Steel, He's Roger Stone on the US Marines. Yes, yeah, he wouldn't be able to get here if he wasn't hired. He has all the proper documents, et cetera. Why here's the steel? Yesmagest high degrees And you didn't know, yes you did. I had a fly infestation that I wanted in educated. Indeed, oh, your majesty, that was actually Roger Stone.

This is Roger Steele's working to the military. Roger Stone is the disgrace lawyer, attorney or something who then got into the extermination business. Roger Steele is working for your Stone Stone manifort in Black. I've come. I've come to report that this experiment is um. This military experiment is is crumbling. They're questioning each other's accents, They're getting no actual work done. It's like a farce in there, and

it's very European. I'll take your word for that, Mr Steele. Yes, I have a ball tonight and I don't have a date. I have to decline. Mr Steele, do you understand that this is her majesty the Queen. She never is the first one to ask someone on a date. And well, yes, of course, Roger Steal on my hand, how where you want a chicken smoke? I would love to have them just over kind of here where normally a choir would be standing. Let's just have some some chickens there, and

we've got thirty seven. I know the order was for thirty eight, but one of them didn't didn't make the triple the way. If you know what I'm saying, you mean to say he died, Well, he pissed me off, So what did you do? She threw him out the window. I snuffed his lights and I believe it is one of the terms. Why didn't you just gonna say you killed him? I'm not gonna You're not gonna get in trouble. I just just say you murdered your chicken? Are you?

Are you wired? Yes? I worked for the Queen. I'm always wearing a while, yes, yes, so she likes to hear about this kind of stuff though she's kind of a sick freak. So go ahead, Well that was your woods not anyways, if I could get these chickens to where they're supposed to be, because I've I've got a local production of Christmas Colle and I'm playing but nice. So I'm very excited to get to and you're getting paid by the line for that. When are you? I

heard in cookies? So I'm very How wonderful salad? Do you enjoy it? Mrs Steele? Yeah? I love? What is? This is just a fly? You managed it? I will, I will get rid of this fly for you. I just want to let you know, this is not my job necessarily what I thought you stand in that's road, your stone fact. Why don't we bring in your your brigade, your your royal marines to get rid of these flies? What do you say? What do I say? They come

now clean? I'm here to at your service. I'm not sure what I'm here for, some sort of maybe flying station or something like that. We're here to take care of you. He must be from my commonwealth. Well let's see. All right, now here's in charge of this and now I'm going to make sure that you've destroyed all the flies inside this castle. How would you refer to us again, your majesty, I'm asleep in my chamber healing. I keep a diary and I just want to make sure I

got that. I'm not sure how to spell it, but thanks a whimpy kid. Yes, you have a job, get to it. But we shoot at the fly in here. You're sucking marines. I don't know. I just feel like there's a lot of people here and there's what you'd call collateral damage, So then maybe don't do that. Okay, how about some hand to hand combat? Yeah, all right, here we go, Sterling whoever gets their hands on that fly so smart. Wow. Imagine see this is a beautiful bedroom.

This is my healing chamber. Ah, what looks like a wet socophagus is actually embryotic. Notod I sit inside and heals myself. Very nice. We'll thank you for a lovely evening. Have you seen Stargate? You've never seen starg I've actually I've never heard of that title. I'm being honest. The head a show. It was on for many star Gates. Yeah, there's so many s g one. You know you were summoned to me, your majesty, Oh Stargate. No, no, no, not not yet actually star Gate? Why are you here? Yes?

Can you? Can you please put me in the sarcophagus. I need to I could leave. No, no, Steel, you need to see this. You have not been dismissed, sir. You don't know when it's time for you to leave. Here we go, mom your back while I'm here and placing you delicately in the stock off. It's warmer then it looks steel. I want to give you something before you leave. Kind of just tired. I just think hid in the hay, hid in the hay. Here it is a codex given to me by my father's father's father's

father's wise father's codex. Not familiar, you will be. You need to decipher it. The Queen of all flies, her location is there. I must rest, I must rest the stargate. What do I do with this? Well, the Queen did ask you to decipher the codex so I would get on that. His code is coach short for codex. I'm sorry, all right, all right, and you've been dismissed in case

you didn't get the hint. Okay, thank you, students. If I could have your attention, please less rustling of iPads and computers and on the board, define the difference between code and cos I'm the American exchange student in America. Yes, Sam's shield. What have you got for us today? I think the difference is just the ex professor. The X was what Captain America offered up? Would anyone else like to come in? Um? Great answering that question? What's up?

What the fun? What are you doing here? What do you mean what I'm doing here? Around? She said? Cambridge, that Cambridge on scholarship. I don't know if you fucking know what's going on here, man, but I'm the token American around here always. Okay, Oh sorry, I'm American, hot American Exchange students. I'm not talking to you hot American Exchange. How what's your name again? What's your name? Clip? Clip? Yeah? Clip? How could I forget that? Um? So, there's like a

student ball. Listen, I'll go. I'll be there. Oh I'm sorry you blended in with a locker. I didn't even notice you. Ship um clip, I was wondering if you want to go to the bowl Student Bowl with me this week. I guess I got a lot of starting to do, plus I got football, got a lot of starting. You mean soccer? And what's starting? You said you're a little starting to do studying. Oh I don't understand your accents, so thick. Um. Yeah, you know what. I guess I

should have some time for recreation. Yeah, let's do it. Should I pick you up at four? Oh? No, the ball starts at seven. We don't get out of classes until four thirty, So how about like six? Perfect? Totally? Oh my god, I gotta get a suit. Hey American guy, do you know where I can get a suit? Yeah? This, Yeah, there's actually a really great Taylor down the street. Awesome thank you so much. Man, I'm so glad I get to talk to another America. You did the ship out

of me in that class. I guess we're like I guess we're like best friends. Then. Yeah, don't worry. You're in the good hands because I have been a tailor for a sixty eight years. Oh wow, okay, cool, it's my first suit. I don't really know what I should for a South. Yeah, I am a seventy years old. Oh you're doing I was a two years old when the first I put a kids together, my first South. Oh you're like a savant. I am a savant. Let's just see how where do you dress? Uh? Where I dress?

Let's see what the side of you dress on? What side of my dresses on? Let's see what the side of your dresses on? What side is my dresses on? Let's see what side? Okay, both both sides. There must to be a biafra. Cant it cool? Like a snake's tongue? Yes, exactly? Okay, what what the I'm not gonna go to go see it. I'm not gonna go steal you want. I'm not gonna go see it. Alright, Steel, I need you to sit down oh wait wait, I'm I'm gonna get my steps in.

No sit down, steal, You're in trouble. You were supposed to go to Cambridge and blend in, but you're bringing bowie knife out in class. Scare another American real students? Are you not the Marine Corps corpole that we thought you were? I am not, sir, you got a beard? Why to clean up? Try to look young for class? I am not. I'm not what you thought I was, sir, terribly started to interrupt a stargate here the queen is still waiting on that code X translation. If you I

figured it out? Yes, um, it's a It was like a before and after thing, like like on Willow Fortune, Like on Willow Fortune, Ye, like Teflon don Quixote. That's what it was. We're not gonna top Teflon don Quixote. No, no, there's no driving past that. Scene three comes from listener James, who wrote high y'all a scene suggestion. Saturday Night Live tries expanding its appeal by starting a second show in a different city. PS. It has been fun to hear

those old episodes again on the replay. Still I miss Kevin. I grateful for Cole. I hope you all have a happy, most wonderful pot of the year, and I'm looking forward to the marvelous Mrs Masal season four. Thanks James. Uh So, who's who's coming in next down? Sure, it's all the people that are not good enough to be on like our main show, so we're thinking of making like a worse one. So these are just kind of bad people. And it's in what's the city, New Jersey? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, Greg,

Do you know what's going on at all? No? I don't. I'm playing catch You're you're the show runner for this, You're yeah, you know. Here's the thing. I was a writer's assistant on this side, and I've just been given the helm of this fucking rickety machine, and uh yeah, I need some, need some everybody. My name is Dan. Dan. I'm so sorry. Dan. We will we will get you when we need you. Okay, this is this is the third time you've barged into this room. Okay, so super excited.

We'll get you. Let me need you. And it's it's three original characters, two impressions. That's right, Dan, Thank you, And by the way, we are one minute away from seeing you one minute. I like Dan already. I think you just hired seriously already. Y that's what I like. He's done it so many times. Well, let's hire somebody who wants to fun. I get him from Dan. Hi. Guys, Hi, I'm Dan, Um, I'm from Utah, and I'm now going to give you my three original characters and my two impressions.

First character, is anybody gonna eat this? Second character? Oh, man, don't mind if I do. And my third character, I ain't going Uh, my first impression, don't tell us who it is, just doing that's part of the fun for us. And the penguins kept walking in the snow. Oh, I think it's the penguin from Batman. And my second um my second impression. Um, somebody stop me, Dan, I'd like it. Shoot you straight to Lauren's office. In the next couple of weeks. You've made it through the first, second, and

third round. I love your energy most of what you did, so we'll be in touch. Hey, is anybody gonna eat this? Well that he's like pretty much the whole list. We don't got anybody. Hey, do you want to watch SNL? I don't know. It just hasn't been what it used to be. I want something fresh, Well what about newer? Yeah it airs at the same time. Yeah, it's a productive It's all the same people except worse. Okay, now, now the popcorn And there's live on car Pecock five

from Newark Opera adjacent building. It's Saturday Night Live starring Dan Mercer, Dan Mercer, Dan Mercer starring Dan Mercer. Like Dan Mercer is give me the breakout of it's not. It's a mixture of Hey, Kiano, it's pete listen, give me a call when you can. I've got an opening screating my calls. I'm here, hey man, So there's an offer for you to host Saturday Night Live. Oh wow?

Is it because the matre coming out? Uh? That's right, all right either Okay, so there's a little caveat, but I will say we're super excited here at the agency about this for you. And you start rehearsals on Monday. I think there's a table read pretty much very light rehearsal, and then you're there for the week with the show, of course live Saturday. What fun are you? What are you doing? I'm Kyoto Koo and I'm here for Saturday Night. What are you knocking. I'm Kyotto Reefs. You might not

recognize me because I'm not wearing my dark sunglasses. What are you talking? You want to buy cocus on from the matrix? I'm kinda look, buddy, what do you need? What's what do you what do you fucking want? What are you trying to do? I'm like hosting Saturday Live this week? Oh ship, you want to funk my beck? Come here? Okay, alright, follow me, just so you know. There's got no heat in this room. All right, Oh, but it's kind of chilly. It's winter talk. Yeah, it

is a good eye Jesus fucking hi. Oh sorry, we got in the same time. Do you need him first? Okay, okay, Um, so I'm with the costume department. Um. So it's like a sketch show. There's a lot of different sketches, a lot of different characters. So you'll just be wearing exactly what you're wearing right now for everything because we don't have any department. Usually it works. Okay, Hey, nice to meet you, Dan. This is the table reading. This is

like where's everybody else? The writers are on their way. I just want to tell you, like, it's going to be a blast, and they came up with some really cool things for you. I think you're gonna like it. Oh, here they come. Now, all the writer's gotten an accident. They were car poining and the car just exploded. That's okay, that's okay, that's okay. I have some ideas. Great, do you trust me? Of course, Let's just go out there. Let's just go what like, do you trust me? Are

we not? We're not gonna mourn are We're not gonna mourn them at all? We don't have time. It's I never even met them four minutes and four days till places. I gotta be honest, this isn't what I expected saying out live to be. Like, well, I mean the famous Laurd Michaels quotees like the show doesn't go on because it's eleven thirty of the show goes on because it's in Newark, and it's Mercer Mercer and Reeves is hosting

this week and is an incredible Alex Winter. So like the ladies and gentlemen, give it up for your host, Kiano. That doesn't look like Kiano Reeves, No, it doesn't. This is some guy doing an impressive counter reef. Maybe he just got much older, you know, because I'm doing the matrix billets. I think that's actually Dan Mercer. Is that No, I'm Coronals. He said his name was Corono, because his name was coron This is insane. How can we have known? I don't know, I don't know. I hope we should

have mourned. This is the curse. All right, everybody, thanks for meeting us, Thanks everybody for meeting here. Yeah, so we're gonna go with these numbers. We gotta go over Newark SNL versus. Dan. I know that you just got promoted here in NBC, and I just want to let you know that we as a team, I think we can speak for when we said we are so happy and proud to be under your tutel. Definitely awesome. Sorry, I'm late. I was at the memorial service for the

twenty writers who died. Okay, Well you know it doesn't look good when he started media off late. But that's okay. So here we go. Here are the numbers. Looks like we are doing better than SNL. We're doing better than SNL. Yeah, more people are tuning in. Um. Some of the reports here say it's for the train wreck factor. I don't really know what that means. Train wreck factor. I think it's the writers. I think they're mourning the writers. Right, it was more of a van wreck. But yeah, I

don't I don't know. It wasn't hit by a train. The van wasn't hit. I think it exploded the car. The van just exploded, as far as I recall, Yeah, gotcha, gotcha. Wait, excuse me, this is a closed meeting. Oh sho, it's Pete Davidson. Hey, hey, hey, what's going on? What what do you This is a Yeah, you just stopped by to let everybody know that I'm banging somebody else super famous and hut pretty cool. Yeah. I just gonna keep swinging above my weight and uh until you know I

got rejected by any of these people. Well that's going to be any minute now you Uh yeah, it's kind of private. Hillary Clinton, she's so famous, Pete, Pete, can I ask you something? I know you kind of tend to go, like you said, like punch above your weight? Have you ever considered punching down your weight? Like an executive for NBC's Saturday Night New Work Live, Clear, what do I just got? Was officially yesterday? I'm single, just breathe.

You're going to speak sex with every intern. Wow, you've been married, so what a little unethical? At least I got to getting fired. Okay, your peer, I don't have the power to fire you. Besides, ever, I don't like quit. Wait what hey, Claire, Claire, I know that was weird in there that everybody he quit and everybody got mad. But Keana is back. Are you sure it's Keanu for you? Okay? And I just want to make sure I'm not surprised by that because I'm ugly, but I'm confident and men

are attracted to that. Um, are you sure it's Keanu? Because we had the wrong one on our show right right then? So it's there or whatever. I'm just not sure. Okay, Well anyway, Sorry, what does he want? I should let you? You want to talk to you in the back of that limousine over there? Okay. I hope he doesn't want me to suck his dick, because I'll do it. I mean, if I'm meeting him in the back of his blacked out window limousine, I think we know where this is going.

I've been in new work long enough to know how show biz works. Okay, Okay, Yeah, I just want to say, I can't do this. I got to be married to you and I can't get divorced. No, Honey, Matt, sign that we had We had this separation like a year ago. We both signed the papers a while ago. Signed I signed it under duress. I don't know what to tell you. It's officially. Yeah, I think it's Toronto, Claire. Why don't you get in my limit and leave this dead beat?

Oh you're back with that guy? Are you fucking kidding? We are divorced in the eyes of God and the law. We are not together. We're separated, fully divorced officially. Okay, all right, okay, all right, jesus Hi, you want me in the back here with you? Good in the car. I apologize about the pants. I'm getting my pants, Taylor. I know what's happening here. I'm I'm no spring chicken. This is not my first time trying to cram a sausage into a two small bun if you know what

I mean. Excuse me. I'm so Mr Kerry, would you like the tea? It's c oh wrong, Amusine, I thought this is Jim Carreys. I'm sorry, you just find my way. Excuse me. Miss, that's how embarrassing, So Stargate, I just want to say we're very happy to have you as our second ever host. I thinks are pretty smooth around here. Totally why I'm here, but imagesty, it did request it, and I must on my queen. We're super excited it. I was thinking, I'm a kind of a puzzle guy.

Are you a puzzle guy? By a chance? U? Jigsaw cross? What I was thinking more of like, uh, Wheel of Fortune style? Alright, yeah, before and after? Don't tell me you have a before and after already cooked up? No? No, no, no, um no no are you are you going to pip me to come up with Dan Dan? Dan so started interrupted. Um, I just want you to know that, um, the fund for the writer's has gone through, and uh, everyone's really excited about that. So we're gonna be celebrating that later

on if you're free. Um, I didn't really hear you, guess I was looking at my phone looking up Before and After a Wheel of Fortune? That is our show. That's sort of honesty is how I'd like to end every one of our episodes. Thank you, also very damn much. Let's snank our cast um for for giving you way more than you asked for and or dessert. Let's start with Mr Chris Overado. Chris um tell us about Comedy Fixed,

still happening, still new episodes have a pause. Yeah, we kind of like talked a lot for a very long time and now we're just taking a break. I'm very hot right now either written, I'm like sweating to death. Okay, for the record, I couldn't help it. Couldn't help it again.

I know, we think we said this earlier. We don't know when this airs, unfortunately, but hopefully they can catch us at Sketch Fest in San Francisco that's January nine, and or back here in Santa Monica, California, January believe it is. Yeah, I'm excited to start seeing the people, start seeing the people. Yeah, we're very excited about these live shows. And if anyone gets us in time and would like to go, please do. We love seeing you there and it's just exciting as hell for us to

get back on a live stage. So thank you for this, Caroline Cotter. Yeah, did we celebrate new work enough for your likes? Um? Yeah, I think even more than I ever could have thought possible. Sure, and thank you for being here and happy holiday. Yeah, happy holidays. Thanks for having me, um anything you'd like to Yeah, only because you look so like your soul was just lost there. You gotta follow me on Instagram at Cotter poop By.

Have two podcasts, unfortunately, one's Cotter Core one Stinkers Stinkers Stinkers, where we bring guests on to talk about the worst ideas they've ever had, um and it stinks like shit. I love the hell out of that. I can't wait to be invited to be a guest. Yeah, well we'll see. Just you go, you got sometimes you gotta go after That's all. That was a lesson to those out there listening and watch Greig Kowski. Okay, I got two before and after that. If Will Fortune producers are listening, they

can take or leave them. Union Jack in the Box, Chicken Ala, King Kong are really good. I feel like you had those in the chamber before we started. Noe. Is that something like high Rise and Shine? Yeah, Oh that's a good one. That's a good one. That's either easy once you get in a rhythm. Yeah, I don't you would want to work on the rhythm of that. Speaking of rhythm, yeah, I probably shouldn't say it as a question. And thank you Joey Gray for being here.

Thank you. Speaking of podcasts outside the sphere of alchemy, this which you shouldn't do, but if you have to, dip out. I was recently a guest on Comedy Bang Bang Check get out. Yeah, crazy character is really fun, So give it a listen. You can't wait, I can't wait. Thank you for that. This is a small little podcast. I feel like we should help support that podcast. You know you lift it up. Yeah, give them a chance. I'd of comedy Bang Bang. I'm sure that makes sense

to somebody. James Zeeni Hi, I am just so happy to be here today. Check our game front at game front dot com and on YouTube. Sweet let's thank our engineering producers to the stars, Mr Babe to find folks that I heart media. I'm your host, Kevin Pollack. Reminding you to please be kind to each other is the easiest damn choice. Happy holidays, Uh should you be listening at this time of year? Thank you very much for listening at all. Until next time, and a football of