Lego manufacturing plant

I'm very check forward, check advanced. Uh. I think we're we're getting close to the uh, the robots, close to the robots. The singularity was the word that robot times. I think. Um, So, like, what do I got? What do I got that I didn't say in the room. I literally have a microwave that I bought when I arrived in Los Angeles in two thousand two, so that mic wave and I are celebrating about celebrat twenty years together and it works fine. Did I make some popcorn

in it last night? Did it pop up? Fine? Yes? So yeah, find the stuff you love and stick with it. Don't don't get sucked up by these corporations that want you to get the latest thing, because the next thing, you know you microwaves still works great. Couldn't agree more. Oh my, there's Jackie eaganzollers to Ruth. Hey, Jackie, how many times a week are you wondering about your next scoop of ice cream? Oh? I mean a lot. It's honestly something that I think about all the time, very

often as an avid ice cream lover. Someone who grew up having two mugs a day. Look out now mugs. I like him. Mus No, no, wait, wait, we're gonna have to drill down. I'm afraid. Every day after school I would have two mug fools and I'd fill it up to the mug to the top, two mugfuls of ice cream of eats double fudge brownie, which is over here. If I may, uh this U this mug you speak of that? For the record, not only none of us, but none of our listeners have ever being used as

a vehicle for ice cream. Um a delivery system? Are we talking about a coffee mug? We're talking about coffee. It's a coffee mug. And I don't know why, but because I think it was my choice. I think I was just like, this is what I wanted, like the handle, I'm not touching something cold. It also to me maybe really kid, I was a reallyant kid, and I think I was also like, this is the perfect serving size,

because a bowl I'm going to go too crazy. But then in reality, when I fill up a mug, now I'm like, dude, this is half a pint, like so much fishing a mug. Yeah, I think about it all the time, I said, corrected, I'm now visioning Jamie putting her ice cream in a mug constantly. It's a little tiny mug, and it's for the same reason, and so I don't shovel out too much. Well, you know what is like, this isn't messed People are gonna think this

is messed up, and it's not messed up. I also put it in a mug because I liked to microwave my ice cream, not to a complete melt that I needed it to be a little bit melty, half melt, And so that's another big reason I'm putting it in this mug. You know what came with the apartment, No clue it could. It's ageless. That's right. Sure, damn is backed by popular demand. Here now, Gary Anthony Williams, Hello America. I say America because I'm sitting right in the crotch

of Canada right now and to run. And if I may have a bone to pick with j Jackie d which big fan, big fan of her work and her eating. But MUD's the problem with it for me would be they have a corner in there, like if it was in a bowl of the same size, there's no corner to lose some ice cream in and we're not losing any ice cream in my friend, I'd like to check out some of your mugs sometimes, I literally like to

check out the inner rim of your mug. Just now at the end we got the multi parts and now we have a cup which is perfect to just lur. There's always look, Kevin. You know, I'm a big fan of viscosity and everything viscosity related. The viscosity of that ice cream is not even melted. And by the way, microwave, perfect move with that ice cream. But that you're going to have a little residue trapped in there that unless you get your little hand down in there, Yeah, you're nothing.

I'm fine with it's the term mug corner that I'm struggling. Where's the corner in the that cylinder going down into that flat part. Now, once you're down in there, you gotta you got a ninety degree angle in there. Yeah, you do, you go. You're never gonna have how many seconds? How many seconds in the microwave? You all are melting your ice cream a tool fifteen seconds? But I do. I lay out the pint outside on the counter for a good twenty minutes, though you're doing with rock hard

ice cream. So you just want a milkshake. You don't want ice cream? No, no no, I want some textures. He wants milkshake at that, like you want to get a bowl of ice cream and hit the popcorn button. And I have put it in by mistake, for like way too as a child, for like way too long. I think it was like twenty seconds or twenty five seconds, is my thing. And then one time too many zeros, and two minutes later and I'm not even I'm like doing other things. And then all of a sudden, my

my ice here was boiling. Yeah, good lord, uh look out, it's Mark Gagliardi time. Hey Malorcas g Yeah, a camping experience that comes to mind. It's time for you to tell us about. Uh. Did I tell the bear story ever on this show? I'm gonna say no, okay, please, okay.

I went camping at this great spot just north of Los Angeles, near Redlands, and Uh, we knew that there was a bear nearby because we saw the bear standing on top of the big dumpster uh like over at the campsite, trying to get inside it a tight five, but he was doing a type five on the dumpster. Uh. Drop the mic at the end into the dumpster. Uh. And then that's why he yeah, and that's why he was like, oh my, Mike. But we all knew that the bear was there, so we all decided we were

all going to stay in one tent. Uh. That night there was a bunch of a bunch of prints together, but we all, like the seven of us, all piled into one tent. We're all sleeping on the floor, and then we hear the We hear the bear outside just devouring one of our friends cars, uh, trying to get in because they had left an open pineapple like that had been cut up just in the trunk, like not sealed in anything. They left. Yeah, they might as well

have filled the trunk with honey. Um. So then once we heard the bear leave, we uh there was another group. It was a friend of ours parents who were there as well, who had an airstream. Uh, and we thought we're going to all just pile in the airstream. So once we you head the bear and you got it, we grabbed. Yeah, we grabbed the pineapple. I'm running with a pit bull in my arms. Uh, because we didn't

trust the pit bull to creep quietly over into the airstream. H. So to my friend's parents, I'm sure it was a freaky site that at about three o'clock in the morning, seven adult humans and two dogs just came barreling into their airstream telling them stories of of a bear that had destroyed a car. And we saw in the morning

the damage that the bear had actually done. Uh. He pulled off the antenna, and I can only assume that it was a crazy smart bear who pulled off the antenna and then was using it to try to slim Jim the lock. Jack did you think he was picking his teeth like pineapple? Can? I also say, by the way, in Jackie's defense, I do have a mug specific four ice cream in my kid you is a coffee mug that I only use rice are you? Are you denying that you don't get a little bit of rim in there?

I do. Here's the thing about this mug. There's there's a little it's a little bit raised on the bottom, so I don't have that ninety degree angle in the rim. I have a little bit of curve. It's a little it's bowlish in the bottom. I have some mugs that are bullish as well. Yeah, so really they're bowls with handles you guys talk, which is also called the cup and last, but too much bread, not enough steak, if you think of least, it's a tool, sing sizeable, silly.

Why are we still bothering with the penny? That's a good question. I think the we've they've done the economic kind of research on it, and we should get rid of it. I've been to other countries where they just round up around down. I love that. I'd like to get rid of all coins. Um, no coins, what's I don't need? You know, some countries have like a five euro. I don't know if that's a coin, but something I guess if I'm saying that is the but those those

are you're gonna lose those. That's losing a lot, you lose a dime. Hey, it's okay, you'll get over it. But I don't want a lot of dollar coins. But let's get rid of everything quarters and all the stuff. Or make the parking meters give me my change back when I'm leaving. How about that? Yeah? Sorry, I like that a lot of parking issues. We got to the parking issues. That's all I cared about. Let's do a

damn show. All of our scene suggestions, of course, gathered from your listener emails or from our patron v i p S, which you can become and support the show in your own individual damn way, and by the way, you look receive exclusive content like standalone bonus scenes that we create just for you, video recording of this very zoom session we're recording in on a weekly basis, and

so many more. Head on over to patroon dot com slash alchemy this, or if you'd like to submit your scene suggestion via email, please right to the podcast that our email addressed Alchemy. This email a gen dot com seen one comes from patron v I P Haven, who wrote, Hey, folks, scene lego manufacturing plant ps bone to pick? Why so reluctant? Why so reluctant to do the whoops wrong kind of Indian scene? Craig, you had no issue playing a native dude in episode three. You did great. You even got

sick from foreign diseases. Your beautiful facial structure could surely get you a role as a chief or a tribal dignitary of some sort. I'm also hoping that a tool was going to be there for the episode. Huge gamble on my part, assuming he is Indian? Am I right? Maybe we can get Adam Beach or Graham Green on the show someday to do the scene. Oh this is getting awkward. Well, I'm glad we got that sorted out.

Stay friends, love all of you. Haven. So I chose this one because I wanted everyone to know this about Haven uh and and and Haven's uh stance or attempt to be funny. I wasn't quite clear. It's it just butts up against the dark side pun intended. Uh a tool? Do you a tool? Do you carried away? And how do you feel about all of that? I am Indian, so that's that part. I will confirm that I try not to go public with that information, but that's come out.

I don't know what scene we're talking about, but so yeah, like an Indian, Well back to our scene suggestion, Lego manufacturing plant. Johnson, may I speak with you please? I'm sorry you're talking about Darius Johnson or Camar Johnathan. Which do you want to talk to or I'm Kamar If you'm Darius, I need to speak with you Kamal. All right, But first of all, you were clear that I was

calling you Johnson. No is that not, sir? I have not listened since I was high at Okay, but today today I promised my wife on penalty of death, that I would listen to everything that happens today. Now when you made the promise to to the Mrs penalty of death, on penalty of death and the stakes were in fact your your potential demise at whose hand? Where was this potential death mine? Oh? That she she would and she she showed me exactly how she would do it. She

would form a bludgeon and device. I'll of legos that I sneak home in my pockets every night and lud and then I'm gonna take my knife and I'm gonna take one of the legos and i'm gonna make it into a little shift, and i'd like to write down everything you say, so you're gonna shive me. Okay, I'm not gonna shive you. I'm gonna take that little shift and i'm gonna take out your little pupils. I'm gonna go around the areas and I'm hoping that that's going

to make a lot of blood. And if it doesn't make enough blood to bleed you out like a little pig, I'm gonna tie you up like a big old pig. Maybe I have something to tell you that oball does not really bleed, so you don't have to do a lot more damage than that. Okay, then I'm gonna have to tie you up. I'm gonna have to tie you do I'm right hard. That's gonna be hard because I refuse to do anything without using legos. I'm gonna have to figure out how to tie up with legos and

keep you up there without them popping out. And I'm gonna take I don't know, I'm gonna get you from from groin, uh huh, from growing to lloyd, from growing to neck. I'm gonna enist to give you a big old slash from tint to Nate. You're gonna cract me from taint Tonate. Tint to Nate going to cut you like that in all your insides or kizzards. Hi, Nate, Yes,

thank you for coming in on such short notice. I just had a few questions about what I've been hearing around the office that you have a couple of different monikers, and I wanted to go over one of them, Nate King. I don't know how I feel about that. Uh, tain't to Nate. I don't know what that means. And what's that that's a sexual reference? Taint to Nate is a sexual reference, right, And that's why I've asked you to come to HR today. Um So why are you having

people call you tain't to Nate? They know what I do on the weekends. I don't they know, Okay, I won't tell me. If they did, someone start calling you this. We got Joel dancing on the green stage, we got Paul on the orange stage, and we got taped tonad up on a gold stage. Remember, ladies, if you don't tip taint Tonate won't strip a damnit Nate. What are you doing, Nate, What are you doing street? Look, I'm

not taking anything off until I see a couple of bills. Alright, alright, ladies, ladies, ladies. If you don't put out the coin, you won't see taint tonight's growing. Let's get going here, all right, you guys. This isn't bad. This is so bad that I know it. But this is bad. It's definitely some dollars at him is going to literally kill me if he knew that I was here looking at Okay, ladies, ladies, enough chattering. If you don't put out the dollars, taint ton Eate

can't pays feet for his kids scholars ship. Let's get it out there. Excuse me? Are you Darius Johnson? I am Wow. Nobody ever asks for Darius Johnson. Really, they all just want Kamal Johnson. You're not appreciated at the Lego manufacturing plant at which you work. No, I'm underappreciated. I would say, I'm whatever is under under I'm sub underappreciated, Darius. I represent Block Ohs. We're the fourth largest plastic building block company. I don't know if I should be talking

to you. I I just need to get to my car. Please, I'm just having a friendly conversation here, Dad, I just need can I just set these groceries down? I just need to get to my guys working on these days. We Look, if I tell you will you will you listen to me? Look, we're just figure we want to figure out how to get blockos into uh. I mean, we don't have the rights to Batman, but we want to build like a like a batmobile. How do you

how do you do? Look? The only way to build the batmobile is with the plans, and the plans are under lock and key in the boss's office, and no one can get to those plans except Darius Johnson. Darius Johnson has never done anything so wild in his whole life. Mrs Mrs Kamar Johnson, but you please approach the judge and let's sit on the stand now. According to the autopsy report, your husband Kamar had his eyes surgically removed and replaced with legos. Is that correct objection, your honor?

There lego bricks? Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't I didn't know the correct terminology. I'm sorry. May I rephrase the question, you're ontron. According to the autopsy report, your eyes had is your husband had goddamnit, your honor. I am just flustered. I'm flustered beyond belief. Can I take just a five minute whiskey break? Please? Five minutes? Scene two comes from listener Ophelia, who wrote simple scene suggestion Powerpuff Girls. Ophelia, Gee, oh my god, I'm so excited. Do you think we're

going to meet all of them today? I mean, I've got my book out her. Bubbles has a head cold, so Bubbles might not be here, but certainly the others would be. I wouldn't care if Bubble's had a head coat. I would still want to meet. My god, I'm so nervous. What what? What do we do we speak to them? Do we say something? Do we just stand there and cog? I've written down everything that I want to say to them on my left hand. Do you want to practice? Of course I do. Okay that Mojo Jojo huh he's

a crazy He's a crazy monkey? Oh god, I don't know. Do you really want to refer to any of them as monkeys? Well? No, Mojo Jojo wasn't what was a was an evil character? And what Holy sh it, Tina, you don't know shit about power Puffer. You don't know shit about power puffka you you told me that you story. I don't know what everyone does for a living within the power Puff universe. Today, today is the day I'm glad I had my right hand this written down in

case it's happening. I'm gonna read it straight to you. Today is the day that you and I are no longer friends. Oh my god, you lied to me on the most important nail when you just tended you knew about Powerpuff Girls. You don't even know Mojo Jojo. I have my favorites. No, I didn't protend nor lie about Okay, I lied. Here's the thing. I want to be popular at school, and everyone gives a shit about these Powerpuff Girls. I don't so yeah, I'm acting. I don't care, So

help me when I meet them? What do I say? What do I do? You got one chance to redeem yourself. Tell me you need to go into the bathroom and put on the mayor's costume. The male was the main character in the Powerpuff Girl. Oh my gosh it is. It's been so many years and I've been dying to run into you in the hollway. I can't believe this is the first time Dexter. I'm such a fan of your laboratory. Buttercup. It's me Buttercup. Yeah, of course of horis from The Power Play Girls. Yeah, you're ah. You

guys are great. You guys look everyone on the network, we're all. We just love we love what you what you gals? Do you know? You're really good for girls? It's really great where you're doing a weird way to see that. No, it's great, it's great. It's great. I'm sure girls love your show. I think a lot of people love our show. Gosh. Wow. Sometimes you don't meet

your heroes. No, no, I'm meeting one of mine right now. Well, heroins like girls can't be heroes, but they can be heroines like the drug which if you come to my lab, you gotta see what we're working on in there. Hey, do you want one of these cigarettes? Oh? I don't smoke. I need to fly. Oh okay, suit yourself, you can fly. That is wild. I don't know that the Power Play Girls flu it's puff um and you know what. I'm good?

All right? Hey, I heard you met Dexter earlier. Nexter's the sexiest asshole who happens to make drugs in his laboratory. They had no idea. I should have warned you. I thought that. I mean, to be honest, I've had a crush on him, to be honest. So it's a bad boy, of course. I I love a red head. I love I love that we're both like similar heighth ish And if you really want to get close to Dexter, I have one s of guestion to you. Take this costume.

It's the mayor's costume. Go on in the rest room, put on the mayor's costume, and go talk to him man to man. Once you woo him man to man, you'll be able to woo him woman. I just like sir. There's a we got a pretty long line outside waiting to meet the Power Profect girls. So whenever you are ready, we will open the doors. I'm ready. I'm ready to open the doors. Okay, I didn't. I don't know why you. I mean, I know we're building excitement, but they're they're

getting rowdy. I think Evan saw a friendship breakup outside, so it's getting bad. Um, so I'm gonna open it up. Um, just half the girls ready? Could you give me just a second before you do. I want to just sneak into the bathroom. Are you taking a whiskey break? No? No, man, no, no, I can't do that anymore. I'm gonna change it. I have gout. Now I'm gonna change into my Maya's costume. Oh is that really necessary? Because the girls are here,

so we don't We don't need anything extra. But by the time the girls are in here, then you know what I mean. It's not your show, it's their show. Just let him have this moment. You know, we run the Spencer Gifts. You know, we don't have to be part of the show. All right, you're right, you absolutely right let him in. I'll stay dressed as myself. No, no, no, Now you seem angry. You see, I'm I'm legitimately pisteof put that lego brick knife down, okay o taking glasses off?

Please please give me my glasses back? Those are those are Warby Parker's. Please give me those back. Oh that's a lot less blood than I thought. Yeah, they have all don't really. Oh man, I didn't expect that if everyone here would because playing as the mayor, I've already seen three more besides us. I feel stupid now, I thought it was gonna be so unique coming to a power Puff Girls event as the mayor. This is bullshit. I don't see no Powerpuff Girls around here. I just

see mayor. This is bullshit. I'm taking town of mayors. You can know who's running the thing if it's a whole town of mayors. Look mayor, mayor, mayor girl dressed as a mayor. Potentially a power Puff old dressed as a mayor for some reason. Mayor mayor guy from Spencer Gifts dressed as a mayor for some reason. I don't know what's going on that has seen too C three comes from Patron v I P. Bifster, who rode high y'all if you could like a podcast too much, I

think I'd be getting dangerously close anyway. Scene suggestion workers are returning to the offices and realizing that some of them have changed. They've changed a lot, the workers, not the offices. Oh Bifster, Yeah, I know. People are going back to work. Uh. It's weird because we've been working on Zoom for it feels like two years, and I don't know what to expect. I mean, have I forgotten how to interact with people that we're also this whole

cancer and cancel culture have happened. Honey, you have cancer cancer me, honey, it's okay, it's kids, it's okay, it's ok that has cancer. Dad does not have cancer. He just misspokes. Just honey, you don't have cancer. He said canceled culture. When he's saying he's going to work, is he really going to go die from cancer and we're not going to see him again? You have always been our our darkest child, haven't you were not? He's not going to die from cancer instead of work? What does

cancer culture? Is that? Where everybody? I just want to make it clear this office is not going to indulge in cancer culture. Uh. If you have cancer, we don't want to know about it. So I have cancer, Okay. Now now that's all I'm gonna see when I look at you. Okay, Now you're to find by having cancer, that's cancer culture. Uh. Now if you're if you're getting chemo or other treatment, you have to leave. That's great. Take as much time as you need. I definitely I

want people to get better. You know, I just don't want to know about it. But I'm sick of cancer culture. Terry. I called you into the office because you mentioned in the meeting how that you have cancer and we have to we have to write you up. Oh boy, hurry up, doc. I don't have not doc. I'm sorry. And I see everyone is the doctor now, either a doctor or mayor. That's all I see. You're probably looking at my PhD on the wall that is in English Studies from Vasser.

That's a college in the northeast. Of course I know Vasser. Well, I got cancer there. Oh so sorry, sorry to hear that. Well, I got my little arts degree and then I actually went to Masters to give my masters a tough before I returned to vast Or for my pH d. Well, we're getting beside the point. Let me write you up on this piece of paper. All right, This will go into permanent file. It won't be two permanents, all right.

I really don't have that. We want you to get better, We want you to get all the help you need, but I just can't talk about it all the time. All right, all right, okay, seem angry. No, No, I'm not angry at all. It's just the cancer talking. I also want to make it clear if you have a June twenty one through July twenty second, birthday. We're not going to be celebrating those birthdays. That's cancer culture. Come on, Leo's aries, Gemini's. You're fine about just for that month.

We're not gonna say, yes, I not only do I have cancer, but I'm also a cancer. Now does that somehow cancel me out of there? Cancers them out? Uh? Carry Uh. Well, I've got some some bad news and some worst news for you. Please give me, give me the absolute worst. Well, the absolute worst is you don't have long. The second absolute worst is I'm not allowed tell you how long you have because this hospital just instituted a no cancer culture policy. We're not allowed to

talk about cancer in here anymore. So I'm just gonna hand you this blank sheet of paper. I'm going to assume you know what to do because I can no longer tell you what sort of steps you can take. Also, i'd like to wish you a happy birthday, but I'm not thank you on birthday. Wish you know my father always said, live every day is it's as if it's your last fifteen minutes of life. I think I'm I think I'm going to start doing that now. I think you ought to. I think you ought to spend it

like it's the last twelve minutes of your life. So whatever you've whatever you've got to do. And no, I'm not I'm not. I'm not wink talking wink about cancer. Wink. But doctor, there's anything you'd need to get done as wealth as a men with cancer. Three times in a row, I'm just saying, you may have I I winking cancer, what you may have eye winking cancer. You winked at me three times in a row. It's oh god, oh god, this is this is devastating news. Cancer is very contagious, doctor,

everyone knows it. I didn't realize it was that quickly. Airborne contagious, airborne. You have air gina. I know. I. I bought the tickets. We're gonna have to resell them, okay. I it's so stupid that the Comedy Central con is on a weekday I work. I can't get out of work at you needs someone to buy the tickets. I don't und I just yeah, I'm gonna have to sell my ticket. You can still go. I just like I can't get out of Wait a second, I mean I

could just gosh, I could stay have cancer. Right, They'll let me just take off time, you know, to get better. But that that's like, that's bad, that's fat, It's really bad in a big it's almost a guarantee that I'm not gonna get it in an airborne like on a plane situation. Yeah, you know what comes fuck up those stupid idea stud idea, Well, there are no stupid ideas, as it turns out, between us. You can say anything, some of which I won't be paying attention to, but

have the freedom. You know, Gina, You're so honest with me, and that's why. Sorry to interrupt you, guys. I just heard on the on the news the con this weekend. They said it's going to be the biggest thing ever, the biggest thing. Excited, ice cream mugs. You guys gotta find a way to go. You guys gotta find a way to go. We have tickets and are you okay? Uh yeah, everybody sold my car. Now. I'm just like a Paul Revere on Hocus. I gotta go by Hey.

I love the idea of bringing back the town crier, by the way, you know, and I loved the shoe he seems. Welcome to the Comedy Central Cancel Cancer Culture Conference. I am Craig Koski, Matt Craig Kowski, that Craig Kakowski. And of course this is the Comedy Central Cancel Cancer Culture Conference. Uh we have uh what is it on a weekday? Yeah? Some of us usually have to go to work on week days. Well, look you're all here right. You must have got out somehow faked cancer. And I'm

on my lunch break. I'm dressed as the mayor, the mayor of what? Uh? I was a character in power puff I don't know if you watch Powerpuff Girls. No, okay, it's a character. Now I feel silly. O can't I can't hear you. I can't hear you, Sandra, Sandra coming to my office? Yes you good? Yeah? Sure, I mean I've had better days fed worst. Listen, I heard that people are dressing up as me and as someone who is trying to get a second term. Is this a good thing? This is a bad thing. It's like it's

hard for me to gauge. Are they mocking me? Or are they You're concerned as if you're being mocked. Well I need to know, like, am I am I the town joke or am I the town hero? Is this a way to flatter me? Or is this a way to well, I heard from the town crier that you're being mocked in certain circles. Not all people are wearing your face at a at a con. There's a con nearby. Apprently it's and it's comedy, so that's probably making fun of you and to some degree. Oh god, we're gonna

have to put out a pole. We're gonna have to see where my numbers are at, because I'm getting really nervous. Also, do I have to dance? Why are we putting out a pole? Yeah? I need you to dance because we need to raise money for my next You know you are the fundraiser for my Yeah, I mean it's worked before. Well, it's the mayor's fundraiser. Everybody over there on the green stage today we have Sandra right next to Nate the Taint. Change his name slightly, but not that much. Over on

the orange stage, don't forget slipping your dollar bills. Everybody slipping your dollars, not your coins. Coins hurt dollars. Don't wat them up, throw them. They won't feel it till it hits their pockets. Do you like that? You like it? Nothing comes off until I see a little cash. You're really working it day. Oh yeah, you see these shoulders move See my hips and shoulders moved together and saying some movement. Which is I say? Bravo, thank you, thank you.

Usually it's just you standing next to the pole. Not sure which is which. Because I've lost some weight, I was thinking immobile. But sure, you're you're cute. You're cute. Well, thank you, I guess yeah, you're you're special, are you? That dollar bill does not go there? Mr? Okay, I'm sorry, we should I stick it. I'm just looking for someplace to stick it in my butt far far sorry about that. Hold on just one second, alright, waded up and river. Alright,

gather around, employees, gather around. First of all, I want you to know that I'm I'm okay, I'm okay. You may wondering why I'm having this meeting laying down in a bed hooked up to machines. I've decided to live every day like it's the last fifteen minutes of Yeah, that's a good idea. That's a good idea. Is it, in fact the last fifteen minutes of your last? No? Again, I am fine. I expect to live many more days, but I am going to live every days like it's

the last fifteen minutes. So I'm on heavy medication right now. I'm feeling delirious. But you're not about to die. I'm not about to die. I'm just living every day as if it's my last fifteen I always assume that welcome to uh, poop like nobody's watching. Uh. This seminar today will be teaching you how to live your best life.

And I like to start all of these by having anyone volunteer any version of poop like no one's watching, so that the rest of the group gets a good idea of what it means to live forward, move, being forward and not standing still. I have to admit that I was a bit confused by the title of the seminaro, no one's watching, Right, But I'm confused by that when when when no one's watching me? Poop? Yeah, I help me? Are you having trouble, yeah, watching when nobody watches me? Right?

You probably heard the term dance like no one's watching. Yes, I have right, live every fifteen minutes like it's your last day of every day, like it's the last fifteen minutes. Yes, I have Yeah, Well, poop like no one's watching you? Really get to hunker down and live your best life. That's what it's about and living your best life, Mr Squats, I have a question. I'm also confused by this title poop like no One's watching. I was under the assumption for most of my life that no one was watching.

Yet this title applies that there's been someone watching this whole time. When someone watching me poop this whole time? Would you like to see some video? No? But yes, but no? Question two part uh firs first person in the second world? Why is he dressed like the current mayor of the city? And second question isn't this conference usually hosted by Craig Kakowski? Uh, he's wearing the mayor's outfit because he's proud and he's loud, and Greg Atkowski

is not here in protest. So happy to field any other questions before we well, let me first of all address the I thought, every day I'm pooping without anyone watching? Is someone watching? It's a little confusing the title. I guess I just hate to dance like no one's watching. It's just so trite to me. So I thought, you know, if you really want to live life to the fullest, what is the one private place that you're still a little self conscious baby. Before you go do this conference today.

If you want to see these titties, you need to You need to make this conference and something special for me. Okay, I know how you wanted to name this conference Live your Best Life. Yes I did. If you want to see these titties, the right and the left titty, change the name of this conference. Stuff poop like no one's watching. Done.

Oh wow, Lorraine. And you're telling me that that that's working well for you to to give him, you know, the ultimatum of your titties, of something positive, of a reward, because and then I will break it down to kill him. I was telling you, I was gonna you can, you can, you can. You can use a threat of violence if

you won't to. But if you break it down for him, first of all, you give them titties as a whole, and then you say, if you want to see the right and left titty, because if he's thinking of it is just one bosom, he may not go for it. He might not go for it. That's really something Laurie talk talk. You know, I like this a lot. I've heard about pooping nobody's watching. But titti's talk. It sounds like you should be doing your own conference. Lay are

you are you? Are you titty kid? Me? Um? Madam Mary. Look, you raised a lot of money with the fundraiser, and I understand the sex cells. But um, if you want to see these titties, vote for me is not doing well on those billboards. Some of them have been painted over. Okay, let's change it. Then, let's change it to if you want to see the left and the right. Madam Mary, I'm not certain that that's it's I'm not certain it's

the one bosom theory that is the problem. Breast mayor's offer. Yeah, this is the President of the United States of America. Is the mayor in Yes, hold on one second on speaker phone, boy, I want you to hear this too, Yes, yes, sir, okay, um, it's the President of the United States hitting me. President Cracklin is on the phone. President Cracklin is on the phone. He wants he wants me on speaker phone. Mr President, you are on speaker phone with the mayor. This is

President James Cracklin here. I saw your ad, your your campaigns about showing your your titties. I want you to know that you have the full force, understanding and support of the White House behind behind your campaign. Thank you so much. And by force do you mean the armed forces can armed forces? I can also threaten violence. You can do whatever you want. Now I feel like I really got it. Look who's back in town? Are you the president? Now? Huh? You're the president? Can you believe it?

I can't believe. And did you think that I was ever going to stop coming to this strip club? You're wrong? Hey, this is the first time. Well, Jimmy Crack came once when he was president, but uh, but what two presidents now and the one who started titty talk? I mean, this is huge for all our dancers. Hey, dancers, is a real meeting, real meeting, not zoom do the do the remix of pussy talk? You know that song pussy Talk, but with titty talk to the remix of my personal

remake your personal remiket. Well, let's just get I just want the dancers to meet you because you're such an inspiration to them. We I I show my titties like no one's watching. That's that's really that's a motto here and it came from your speeches and uh, this is not a zoom. I need all dancers out here. I'm sorry. I just haven't been in person in the office. Oh my god, the president. Yes it is. I'm sorry, sir. This is Mike the bouncer. The other dancers can't come

out right now. They all have cancer. Mike cancers here they got they got dancer cancer. You need to you know how we feel about that. Here, go see HR and discuss it with them. You're gonna be written up, okay, Marke, I'm going to see HR, not h HRS. Oh lord. She runs the office services department. She doesn't handle human resource. Sorry, Mr President, I didn't mean you to see all this. Uh, but thanks for coming. And if you want to get on stage, feel free. Wow, Madam President, we recommend that

you do not get on stage. Okay. My security is telling me. Wow, I can't believe Darius that that lego was really going here. This is like a miniature strip, you know. Do you know what I had to go through to get these plans? Oh? Wow? And you just napp in that piece over there. There's a pull, there's a green stage, and then an orange stage, and there's a pull right here, and then it comes with four figurines and four mayor outfits. You can interchange the outfits

on them. Okay, Blocos hasn't hadn't we haven't figured. Hold on a second, you're getting a phone call. Hello, black Os, this is Ramal. I have laced the legos that my coworker browed over with plastic exposures. You have approximately fifteen minutest. Let me put you on speaker and repeat that. Sorry show, Oh my, oh, buddies, Let's thank all of our alchemists for their absurd and glorious contributions today, starting with, of course, Mr Gary Anthony Williams. Gary, you're in Toronto? Can you

tell us why are you legally allowed? Is there an n d A involved? Which I just joined all of the Toronto sporting teams I'm up here with whose line is it anyway? During their live tours? Yeah, and just reconnecting. I haven't been in Canada since they put the plastic sea through strip and their money and it's beautiful. It's beautiful. You can see right through their money now. Yeah. My favorite thing, of course is when you call someone in Kennon,

they answered the phone this way. Sorry, hello, they answered, I haven't called anybody here. Yeah, try my best to captain proofs. And thank you very much for being here today. Thank you brother. Yeah, uh, let's go around the horn to Jackie Gonzalas to Ruthie Jackie too. Yeah, yeah, sorry, we needed the horn to get to you. Um, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. What a good time. Well hell yes we're should folks

find you and you're wares. I met Jackie Doruthe on Instagram and I've decided to just live, just live my life there and I'm not on email. I'm on an email for forty eight hours, so I'm I can't work living like it's the last two days. Yeah, you can really poop like no one's watching exactly. Not even Google, not even Google. I mean I can google things, but it's no longer to my personal preferences. I'm no longer getting the news stories that I want that are like

cater made to what I usually google. It's a really interesting, it's a really interesting to live this way. Good luck. Please report back how it goes. Thank you, thank you all right? Sure a tool sing thank you for having me. Uh, this is not a plug, but I just I own an Alchemy this mug, but it does have the ninety degree angle and I would like a mug that doesn't now that I know that these exist, So just putting it out there to the R and D team at

Alchemy this but thanks for having me lovely time. Appreciate all of that input as always. Mark Gagliardi. Yeah, thanks for having me. This was really fun. I love seeing you guys, I love playing with you. Uh. Got some cool news yesterday. We have an air date finally for season two of Blood and Treasure July seventeen. Paramount plus first episodes drop and then every Sunday after that, so check it out starting this summer July Disneyland's birthday. Huh.

WHOA right? Pretty cool. Yeah, I don't know if the well. I appreciate that that was lined up specifically by the competitor, Paramount Greg Atkowski. Great to see you're still surfing and you'd like to let your board dry off behind you. That's why I always drive my board right here in the office. May all your bulls be muggish, may all your mugs be bullish and uh. A quick Google search shows me that Lego does have a power Puff Girl set. A word on whether Mojo Jojo is included and should be.

Oh man, that's right. Thank you for bringing that home. Let's thank our producer and engineer to the stars, Mr doug Bane. Fine folks that I hurt media. Thank each and every damn one of you. We appreciate you more than you know. Please tell everyone you've ever met so we can appreciate them. To be kind to each other, human beings. Until next time, no