Gap potatoes

so I'm curious, what about you? Epitomizes the state that you're from, Chris Elarado, Why are you so California? Because I grew up in the hood. I grew up in a crazy part, not a not a fantastic part of Los Angeles, surrounded by even cromier cities, So I think I think that's my flavor. I think when I moved to Chicago, people were like, dang, dude, you're not like the surfer type California. And I was like, because I'm because I'm I'm a gangster. So I'm really embarrassed by

that answer. By the way, type in the surfer type of California. That's absolutely true, a duel thank you and thank you. I think it's the last thing. I guess if I can kind of like settle it, like kind of like solidify this for me, if like it's like an ice cube song comes on, like something with like west Side, Like I really feel that kind of like that kind of like so cal l a bumping music that's really like it's in my d n A. So I hope that kind of set that kind of cleared

that up a little bit. Yes, thank you. You're a territorial where you were from? Jackie Gonzalez do ruthy uh? What about you? Epitomizes Florida, you know, Florida, Florida woman, Florida so ashamed at this point. Um, but if you've been to Miami, you know it's very different from Florida, though it shares some of its heinous traits, of course, some of its conservative traits. However, it is a different land.

So I would say, what about me, epitobizes my Miami is probably I would just say my body, like moving my body, I would say, like moving my body while I talk, but also like dancing and like my you know what I mean. I also feel like in public I have no shame in terms of dancing and singing, like being loud and like tell what you know. And that's very Miami in terms of like, yeah, like if I'm with my friends or in a grocery store and a song comes on that we like like we're gonna

start dancing, and that's it feels very Miami. Okay, but not so much Pensacola or Jacksonville or Water not the Florida in me. I do like a lizard. Um, what is going on? Okay, we'll get we'll go with your first answer. Your first answer, I like a lizard. I'm not scared. I like like a lizard a tool sing. Uh what about you? Is so Texas? Oh? Thanks? When Jackie said lizard, I did think she meant eating lizards and not just she likes lizards, so that she clarified

that sort of What about Texas? So, uh, they're they're growing up in Texas. There was a lot of state pride. Uh um, we say the biggest state in the continuous US, so to to geographically maybe that very clear that in the forty eight connected states we are the biggest, not worried about Alaska in this count Um, you know everything really there is a concern. So I always used to take a lot of pride in that, Uh, we have shirts to say, y'all can go to Hell. I'm going

to Texas. This is sponsored Don't Mess with Texas. One of the best marketing campaigns that ever existed. Um, just a lot of state pride. And I always like that, even though some of it was for for silly things. Um, how does that exemplify itself Texas stuff in my day

to day? Um? Yeah. I also liked when I when I moved to New York and I realized the pace was much faster, I did like I always miss the Texas pace, which is just like, hey, how you doing when you're at the seven eleven or whatever and slow down? Need a lizard? I got a friend, I got a friend in Miami. Alright, well are you in a hurry? Bell, Just sit down, have a lizard. Let's head on over to uh, to the state that borders more states than

any other. Tennessee's I think tied with Missouri. I think gags. What about you like to point out that that that quote, uh, y'all can go to hell? I'm going to Texas, said by a famous Tennessee and David Crockett. And I think I think the thing that makes me most Tennessee and in in mentioning famous people from our from my state, uh, in mentioning David Crockett, I think that for me, it is a combination of two of my heroes growing up, one from right near where I'm from and one from

the other end of the state. And those two people would of course be Elvis Presley and Dolly Parton. It is I like to think of myself as the combination of Elvis Presley and Dolly Parton. I'd like to hope that that is what I exude. Uh is a is a combination of those two. Um, that's what makes well, yeah, what about what about you? Can we turn this? I know you're the one hosting and asking, can we turn this around to you, Craig and ask about virgin It Well,

Virginia is for lovers, said, enough said. I'm also from very suburban Virginia, meaning there are no rap songs that immediately make me be like oh yeah, this is like yeah, yeah, about a half hour drive down. Uh. By the way, if you're from the east coast. You just say the interstate, you don't put the in front of it. So that's a California thing. It's also in the South it's it's uh yeah, yeah, same in in Florida, whether you count

that as the South where I'm from the Caribbeant. Well, we can talk about regional differences all day, and I'm sure our Australian and German listeners are really enjoying this as well, but it's time to move on to another

episode of our Give Me This. All of our scene suggestions are gathered from listeners emails or from our Patreon v I p s to become a Patreon supporter of the show and enjoy exclusive content like standalone bonus scenes, video of our recording sessions, and at the highest level of support Alcimediac, you'll have a chance to join one of our recording sessions. Just head on over to patreon dot com slash alcheve me this. If you'd like to submit a scene suggestion via email, please write to the

podcast on our new email address. I'll give me this email at gmail dot com. That's Texas Seene one Today comes from Big Mike Car Battery Possible pseudonym. That's a great name, whether it's a pity or fake name. Big Mike car Battery is the is the submitter. Uh. They say five Guys gets its potatoes from Idaho ten months out of the year. The other two months are filled with gap potatoes, which comes from watching Din or Oregon. So the suggestion is gap potatoes. And excuse me, do

you have this sweater in a light blue? And also can I get this potato in a small? Yes? Of course. Let me let me look in the back for for the see if we have that particular potato and small, if not the ones on either side of it, you can there's not that much difference in the potatoes. You want me to bring out one of each and a small for you to just check them out? Yeah, I want to each in a small and the blue. I just think that color. No, I know you're I know

you mentioned it. I didn't forget that part. I'm just I'm just saying I didn't forget that part. I'll be right back. He's being weird with me, right. He shouldn't talk to you like that. No one should talk to you like that. He's acting like we didn't go to fucking high school together. Was he a loser? I but he was a loser in high school. I mean he wasn't like, wouldn't like popular, But I wouldn't call him

a loser to him. But Okay, UH found it. I found Here's here is the baby blue that you wanted. Thank you so much? Yeah, sure, thing, it's perfect. Do you do you remember her because you're acting like you she went to high school with you. Yeah, no, I know. She's a doctor. Everybody remembers, sir. She gave the best valedictorian speech our school ever had. We all remember her, we remember, we remember after that when she went off and served in Congress for two years, we all remember

all of this. She's the youngest, she's the highest woman. Yes, she's the state of Delaware, the highest performing member of our school in Delaware. Yeah, so of course I remember her. Now. Can I get back to the stock room please? Wow, Well, thank you, Hoyt. I just wanted to acknowledge the help that you've given us. Um and wait wait hey yeah look likeez yeah. Sorry, I'm just boy's night. Get the darts, let's go. Yeah. Sorry, it was a crazy thing happened

at work today. It was just it was. Yeah, it was, well, this this this like the most perfect person from our school, like you know, this untouchable person from our school. Like she she came into the into the into the mall, and she came to you know, she came to the gap for potatoes and I I wasn't wearing my name tag and she knew my name. It's really weird. Like that's that's a good thing, right, it's awesome. I mean, honestly, it's it's a pretty unusual name. I guess that's true.

It's just kind of threw me off. Sorry, Sorry, I know it's it's my frame alp. Yeah, it's wait, I said, darts arts wake up. Sorry, it's it's guys nights. It's it's frame and listen, guys night, guys night. Did she make you feel I just want to get I just want to clarify. Did she make you feel special or did you feel man? No, she made me like I was kind of a dick to her. And then and then she made me feel special just by that one little move of remembering my name. And I mean I

realized it's yeah, it was weird. It was she probably wants to come on you say that about everyone that anyone has ever mentioned a conversation. You always think they want to do two pictures too. Pictures there you are enjoy, gentlemen, Thank you so much. That person right there now, don't say it she wants to do We even order to. Yes, I don't mean to be like judgmental or rude or anything, but like, yeah, she gets hurt. She buys Gap potatoes. Not like no disrespect like I know, like a job's

a job. No, I mean it sounds like disrespect, Like I just mean, like, yeah, I used to get my my potest from Gap in like high school, like when I was like poor college did he moved on to Abercrombie potatoes, Yeah, and then that became very problematic. So then I moved on to because they peel their potatoes. All their potatoes are just out there without all right. So I'm just saying, at the at the very least, I'm a Jay Crew potato guy. It just sounds like

it's always about brands for you though. Man, It's just it's it's potatoes. It's yeah, you know. Anyway, Sorry, I haven't got so thrown off by all of this, guys. I'm gonna hold on hold on. I'm gonna I'm gonna speak for all the all the fellows here, Fellows are you thinking when I'm thinking? We pile in my car and we drive over to this girl's house and let White profess his love to her. We just what Oh, no one was thinking that. No, man, this is an

existential moment. I don't know what I mean. Okay, bab I want to show you everything that I got because some of it's for me, but some of it's for you too. So I got these jeans and I know that they're like not the super huggiest on my ask because that's not what's in right now. And you prefer it to be a little tighter. But trust me, I'll only wear it with the tiniest little crop top. Keep it tiny, keep it tight on top, keep it loose

and flowing on the bottom. Got this little blue sweater so cute, Oh my gosh, really looks good with my eyes. And for you, I got these small potatoes. Are these new potatoes? Yeah? I got them from the gap. I don't know. It's just like I thought it would be like kind of fun to like, there's some finger finger links in there too. Yeah, I can get some of those. If that's like you're into um whatever these are there,

that's a finger link. Okay, So I got these these little potatoes for us us, you know, for you, and if you want, I can try him on. Well hawait just dropped off all the fellows. It's uh yeah off. Look, you can go in your house play call of duty, drink yourself to sleep, or you go tell that tell that woman. Wait, how you feeling? I don't know. I had thought about her in so long, and I mean she was valedictorian of the school. Plus she's she's married to that that that that the mob guy, you know,

the mob guy from the paper. Oh my god, the mob guy. Yeah, yeah, I don't like like Torino or I don't even remember what his name was, but it was called I just remember him being the mob guy. Look I help you, um um babe, another guy from the Master love with you, another guy for you. I have to go. I'm so sorry, I'm gonna go. You see rena serenader. I mean, look, this was a bad idea. I didn't even think that this is how this do. People usually serenade you like some people do to love

actually cute card thing. I didn't I don't like whatever makes you feel the best, and now like, yeah, I'll go in the other room. I guess some mob stuff to take care of. Okay, I'm this is, this is I don't. I feel like I just have to kind of improvise something dramatic, now attention. I love dramatic. All right? Um, can I get a suggestion? Hey? Oh, every time we have the mom meeting at your house, there's always so many interruptions. Can we just do it down at our club?

Can we just do it at the club? H look, Don Ron, uh my, I get the nicest house, right, I mean, it's done. That is no doubt you have a nice house. You have a four bedroom, three bad three thousand square feet. I get it. I just want to clarify something. Were you calling him Don Ron or were you saying Don and Ron? I thought I was. I was talking to Don Ron, not to Ron. Oh. When I'm talking to you Ron, you'll know it. No,

of course, of course, of course I'm sorry Don Ron Ron. Yeah, Ron, Unfortunately are not made yet, so you can't be referred to as Don. That is the rules. Can we talk about that for a second. Sure, Actually, we wanted to talk to you about that. I feel like I feel like I'm never gonna be made. Uh that's where you're getting made when you least expected. Okay, see that sounds like I'm gonna get whacked when I at least expected. I don't know. We got this trophy for right here?

Look at this best rod? All right, it's nice. R whoa no offense done right? No nose? Hey? What what? What do you? What are you doing? I know it's like I know, it's like I just I couldn't sleep yet. How did it go? How did it go? Terribly? It went terribly. I stood there for forty five minutes and did a dramatic improv set in front of me. I said, I need to improvise. I didn't. No, there's not I mean, it's dramatic improv is. It's it's a style and people

do it. But I wasn't expecting to do it. I said, improvise, And suddenly I'm up there like like I'm doing a show, and and it did not go well. I don't know at one. That's here's what I want to say. I want to say, when you do in dramatic improv you don't get the laughs that you typically would in your normally improv, so you don't know she she might have been captivated engage. Let me ask you this. What was she wearing something like tie the top and flowing the

bottom or what? Well, yeah, it was she was wearing the Model three or four jeans, which we actually just put on sale. Uh and then she had that blue Uh. Sorry, I don't mean to bring work into this, but I'm just trying to get some sleep. Man, I'm just trying to get some sleep after a really for Fox say yeah, come on in. I mean, okay, baby, he's gone. Did you did you win you back? No? You know, no one can ever win from you. Also ended up doing like improv, but it wasn't funny, so I didn't really

know what he was doing, right, impro was funny? Yeah, I was just like when he said improv, I was like, okay, cool, I'm ready to laugh. I'm expecting to laugh and I'm ready to laugh. And then he wasn't laughing, and I was like, what the fuck is going on? I like

him provay, Hey are you sleeping? Yeah? Hell, I mean I was because I was thinking I was thinking, like they are like other ways an audience can show that they're interested, right, and like dramatic improvisation is something that is like some of the most beautiful art that happens on this planet. You know. Can we talk about this in the morning, Yes, of course, of course. Maybe. I love when you improv Yeah, I'm funny. You're so funny.

You're always You're always improvising. You're always eating banana and saying you're eating an apple, and I'm always laughing and laughing Um. John Ron told me after whack Ron what I had to tell somebody like. I feel terrible about it. I'm so sorry. How can I thinks he's gonna get made down whack him instead? Oh my gosh, she's going to be made into to eat the fishes. What. Yeah, he's gonna he's gonna be made to eat the fishes. Sorry, no, no,

that's how I'm to kill him. Hey fellas, Hey, hey, oh, meeting at a warehouse. I liked it. What did this? Oh? Go snacks? Here? Gold fish? You let gold fish? Right, have a couple of here. Do you got an I ain't got any water or something? No, no keeping fish? Oh no, oh no, fellas, come on, what did you what did you put that trophy? We gave you. We need it back. I'll never tell you jumping. We don't need a back we got. I'm joking at that. I'm joking at that little water. I can't give you water,

all right, don Torino. I will assume you will take care of the buddy. Yeah, Can I get a suggestion of a place to put the body? Look? What kind of look? You're a valedictorian, So you're smart enough to know that when this light is on you, you're sitting at this table, and there's a mirror right there that we want answers. We want answers about you, your husband and everything you know. Did your husband happen to give away any secrets to you before the untimely murder of Ron?

I'm also smart enough to know that I have a right to a lawyer, and I don't need to say a goddamn thing until she gets here. Fine, you want your lawyer here. We can sit here and wait all day. I'm gonna put my feet up, I'm gonna give myself a snack, and I'm just gonna glare at you from across this table because I know you know something. I know you know something. Hello, are you know? Brockovich? Ch crap, Aaron Brock, you talked to me from now on as my client had anything to drink. I don't know. I

didn't breathalyze her. Oh, just like a water single of water. Why don't you, detective? Do you mind just going and get in that right and turn off the recording device? Please? God, I can't help but to say yes to everything she asks, unless you want me to have your badge up my ass, I would suggest you do everything that's our first see see too Today is from Jeanette. Hello, wonderful alchemists. You keep me sane or at least giggling while I wrestle

with complicated geometry. I thank you for that. I don't know if that's Janette's job or just just something she does as a hobby. Uh. This is from Jeanette to Jackie. It delights me extra every time you're on the show. I'm a former concert master, and I love Craig's to piction of an unassuming bassoonist in the New National Anthem episode. I have no memory of that, so hoping for more musical magic, my suggestion is overly full orchestra gratitude and love.

Jeanette in Seattle maestro, there is a third oboe player. And I'm just I, um, I'm not a problem starter, um, but I just want to know why there's so many chairs. It sounds a little bit like you're a problem starter, maestro. Maestro, Maestro, I love you. I've loved you from your days in Tennessee. Two here and no disrespective man. Yes, I started out in the Tennessee is it in a very small and now it is my my goal to have the biggest

orchestriving of the world. So if I want the three Oh bowls, and then I get to three Oh bowls, okay, and you a third chair right now? I don't know why I was complaining. Geez, all right, thank you, mis Hey, how's it going. You knew you need to the correct you're talking to me, I couldn't you he's talking to Okay, enough with the sample, Okay, Okay, I'm not gonna look over the score for today as you guys have a your little conversation. Okay, I'm sorry you were saying. I

was saying, you're obviously third chair obow. Yeah. I don't know if you noticed, but this orchestra is overly so we're looking at cut back what I just asked the maestro about and he said that he's not gonna do it. I don't know if you've talked to him. Yeah, he's not gonna do it. He's not gonna do it. Are you going to handle this on the inside? This is a beautiful instrument you have. I just wanted to one

more time make an announcement to everyone. If you know anyone who plays an instrument, just let him know about this. Like the more the marrier, honestly, like, uh, you know, any anything, and it doesn't have to be an orchestral instrument. You know, we've got a lot of islands. We've got a few viola's, you know. I know guy, Yeah, yeah, you know a guy. You know, a guy who can get get me into an orchestra. I mean you play the the what's the desider zi phone? It's my own invention,

sweethearts to this homeless man. Don't do like that, don't no, it's it's okay. Nobody wants to talk to me and my Zida phone. I guess I'll be making man. I'm here. I'm here, crossing this street every day to go get you milk and cookies and bring that home for you, and so I know his talent. He's very good. For one second, for one second, listen to this man. Do you have a do you have a favorite song I can play on? And don't even like that? Sure, let me put let me, let me put my Zida phone on.

Climbing here and it's incredible. Let me just get the rope here, twist around and inside down. All right, here we go in. Don't do me like that. Don't do me like that. And I just want to give you a hundred dollar tip. Keep it up. Oh thanks, Mr. Don't do me like that. He must be like that. Okay, one more time from the top. We're going to do a two hundred and fifty piece instrument version of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers and don't do me like that. Okay,

But it's it's a missing it's a missing something. Yes, excuse me. Um, I'm here, I'm I'm on the trumpets and I've got the chorus down, but I can't think of how the song starts. It goes. I was talking with a friend of mine, said a woman had a heart his pride told her that he loved him. So turn him, let him go, and you say you're better watch your step or you're gonna get hurt yourself. Someone'll tell you a lie, cut you down to size, and

then you're singing the Corse like forever. I feel like Stephanie. It doesn't know site reading. It's all on the site of music or in front of it is all on the side. Was like, but I want the big orchestra, so I don't care whether people can my sure, my sure, somebody willed in this metal and tubes sticking out, there's a person living in it. Oh, I know, I just I didn't mean to interrupt your your orchestra, but I I heard you were looking for new new people and instruments.

To add, I'd like to offer up the services of Mazda phone is zidaphone. Yeah, yeah, I've only heard of it after myself because I made it up. Well, we were trying a very very difficult to Pete. I don't know if you overheard it. It's a Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers that don't don't do like that. Yeah, of course I know that, you know. Yeah, I was just doing it for a nice folks out out on the street out there. I was playing it for him. They like like my version, my show my show. I'm sorry,

but isn't this orchestra clearly over? You know your your oboist is right? I should just go if I do? No, oh, no, go ahead. It sounded like you're about to give me you want to hear this ida phone? Alright, well hold on, let me get it ready. Climbing here, get this, pull this strap over here. Oh, this one's down these downstairs. I gotta go downstairs and get this one. It's a multilevel. Put get the three more. Just there's gotta be one of these hammers is a little off. Let me fix that.

I just got to oil this one spot here And okay, I think I'm ready. Just when don't you just hit that big button on the outside. Don't do it like that. Don't know a straight straight to the car. It's okay, I don't know the verse. Uh. These are primost seats to the orchestra. I'm talking dead center orchestra seating. And do I get a little bit of discount because I actually discovered one of the orchestra players. Let me put that in coupon code. We don't need a discount, we

need discount paper. Right now. They have them, let us have them. We just turned rich. Everybody turns down the discount, we can't then give it, sir, not a problem, a problem, cash or cash? Okay, great, it's really changed since he got rich. Changed. I just got rip week. Can I ask what was the miracle the success for you? Of course, I'm an inventor. I invented something you use every day and don't even know that something dollars for all thousand

dollar bills one to three, four six perfect. Put that in the two very expensive scene and we will just email you the team nues. Just check your phone that's probably there right now. We use this. We don't bring our phones. This new app we just got last week, which emails tickets to you directly. Can we get a printed version? This time version? Remail it to myself and then I'll print it out. All right? What wait? I can hear it's starting to send it to my Yeah,

and I don't use that anymore. This is taking a long time. Oh it's warning me that I sent it to two separate email addresses. But I'm gonna say, okay, not a problem, just one more minute, okay. I just want to let you know how a special you all are to me, and except you I don't know you, but but come on in, welcome, join us, um and we have a children's choir. We have a fifty piece children's choir which is going to be joining us tonight. And uh what else we got? We got a banjo? Now,

like it's like why not? Hey? Sorry, I'm like, can I play my mouth art for you the orchestra? Yeah? Sure thing, come on in? Do you know adult to do me like that? Sure? Everybody knows. Don't do me like that? Don't don't you want? Don't you that is? That is exactly the song. Yeah. Now I want you to know because the tickets are like prohibitively expensive, so you know, uh, it's a it's a very elitist crowd. And yes, maestro, yes, first chair, Obo, what is this?

What is this all about? What? What are you doing? What is going on with you that you need to fill every single space on the stage and theater with other people? What do you? How do you? What void are you trying to fill? Maestro? I can't hear anything from in here. Fire him mastro and move all the Obo's open chair. First of all, I love the music, and uh, I think a music shouldn't be shared with as a many people as possible. But but to be

honest with you, I am missing a little something. I went to to high school with a girl and I developed a crush on her and I can't get her out of my mind. Been there? And is she coming to the show tonight? I hope? So I sent her a ticket to every show I do and she never shows up. But I would love to take all of you to serenade her outside of her house. Oh that makes a lot of sense my show. Yeah, look, can

I help you? Yes? Um, this is a this is awkward, but I have a brought looks like, huh, it's true fool to be an orchestra. No, no, it's She's not overly fool. It's it's actually just the right amount song. And babe, there's another guy's love with you is here? Oh my god, are you kidding me? Okay, hold on, hold on, le put on my potato. All right, I'm gonna be the other room with with Don Ron, Don john and Don Johnson. He's not the mob, but he's

a Don Threno. Another interruption. I really should have this meeting somewhere else. Don Johnson is getting annoyed, and Don john obviously. Look, Don Johnson, I loved your Miami vice and now you, uh, you're created knives out kind of entering your character actor phase. Thanks. I just don't we don't need an IMDb for Don Johnson any Thanks. I'm just hoping I have somebody to play opposite against because I've been doing a lot of solo improv for these guys and somebody who gets it don't do me. I

hope it worked. I holp it worse than my true What do you think? Is there another one? I guess we could do a refuge one, two, three four in that scene number two see three Todays from listener. Mo just mo, hey everyone, anyways, the nice yeah mo is all business. Hey everyone, anyways, here's my scene suggestion. Benjamin

Franklin tries to get finders Keepers into the Constitution, Thanks alchemists. Mo, Hey everybody, Hey, let's just focus here, all right, this is I don't want to spend the night in Philadelphia like everybody else. All right, the ship town with the ship people in. Let's just hammer this thing out. We've been hammering this thing out for days days. It's down, John, sit down, John, don't tell me to sit down. Thomas, I will stand if I want to stand. We've been

hammering this out for days. Ah you just oh, Franklin, Franklin wants to talk. Here he comes, just here, he comes. Ben? Yes, Ben, Hello, okay Ben, it would help if you would. I mean, I'm not saying anything said some light yes, yes, shed like Ben. Okay, Wait, well we all look up to you. We have such respect for you. Where is this document headed? I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking. I feel like I

must invent one more thing to make it complete. Yes, yes, okay, I think we need to sign into officiality finders keepers, finders Keepers? What does sign? What is finders Keepers? Then if you lost your gourd? Well the other day, I was in the marsh, just experimenting, and there was a little bit of a pantaloon, just a piece of it was just floated on up and I picked it up and I said, well, this is an interesting cloth, and I'm going to look at this later. But then, hey,

there's my pantaloons. This is just a piece of pantaloons. Well, let's mind. Now it's in my hands. Was missing a little piece. I can see that, and it would easily be sewn back on by someone with a nimble thumb and thimberland thread. But here I am holding it in my hands, making it mine. But Franklin, what possible reason would you have to hold on to a piece of another man's pantaloo? How did he lose that piece of pantal It was more about feeling like it was mine

in the moments. Which marsh was it? Oh, the boggy marsh? Oh, I know the boggy marsh. Yes, just outside the city exactly. And that's what I like to do a lot of my experimenting. But Dr Franklin, please, this this, this notion of if something is in your hand it suddenly belongs to you, feels fundamentally un American. That's the thing. It's not about the hand, it's about finding it. And if you have found it, you have the right to keep it because that means it was lost and the person

who lost it, Ben, that's my wife. We do all my wife. If you you've lost her, you didn't I went to work. Well, listen, this is your If she's running around looking for new fun, is that not? I guess I have to go with Mr Frankelin and Elijah I guess I have to. That happened in the marsh too, and I didn't appreciate her attitude about it. I wanted her to want to come with me, you know. She is more of about obligatory. But either way, it proves the point of finders keepers. You know, I don't want to.

I'm a medical doctor. I would just be careful with all these stories you have of regaling women. You know, just you know what I mean, what do you mean, I'm I'm a doctor as well. Doctors? All right, we don't need to It's not like the mafia or anything, Ben Ben, So are you're saying from the smallest thing like a piece of pen I liked what you just said about the mafia. Let's call me Doc Ben. Anyone who's a doctor should get the doc no doc for doctor,

doctor Doc Ben? Alright, doc five? Well look, Doc Ben. If we enshrine this principle of finders keepers into our constitution, there's has to be some principle that that adheres to the losers in both instances. Always one example, what about Theo's guy was more of a cry and the other one was more of a weep, you know, but both both having to do with tears and emotions, and I've got it. Finders keepers, losers cry Thomas, as always, you're very close. But I said, right there, you sit down, Tomas,

stop telling me what to do. I have one finders, keepers, not finders, not getters. So it's very clear it's nothing to do with the crying at all. Got it. The gentlemen, gentlemen, these please please no, no go ahead, no go ahead, Please sit down. Why is everyone always telling me to sit down? Here's my finders keepers, loser, sobbers, loser, sobbers. Gentlemen.

It is the mere notion that if you find something it is yours, that we should fundamentally have a problem with the pithy saying that we attached to it should make no influence whatsoever. I disagree. Listen, we came here, right, we came here, and people already here. I guess what it's ours now? Mm? Also also furthermore pithy sayings is what this new country is found in on? Yeah, well, it hasn't been founded yet, and if we don't get asked this, it won't be founded. Where are we now

held Alphia in the summer? What? Okay? So literal, so literal jokay, okay, you may sit down, Thomas, you understanding, May I remind us all of a pithy I'm sitting down. I'm gonna remind us all because remark you do stop it now. I just say I told him to sit down, and he sat down. That means he listens to me. This pithy quip has been a cornerstone to the building of this of this of this land nation. No uh, no cuts, no butts, no coconuts, coconuts, no cuts, no butts,

no coconuts. That's true, You've done it. I mean I can't disagree with that, and I think we should add finders, keepers, losers, weepers. No, I think the cuts one should be in the in the in the constitution. So yeah, the cuts one, no cuts, that one one should be in the constitution. Yes, yes, no coconuts. Ben say that again, finders keepers, losers, weepers. M hmm, like something argue when you get to keep it? Is it not really what this country's kind all about?

We found the Great State of Virginia. Elexander, did you bring your dog to the God's sake? Go great? It is a mad house in here. The Great State of Virginia. Virginia. Virginia's for lovers, Virginia's for lovers. Where I am from is built on three great principles, Gas Grass. As we all know, in Virginia, no one rides for free, that's right. So if we can get that into the constitution somehow, let's just put all of our all of the nothing but pithy sayings. We've got to create a document. We

are so close. We've created two branches of government we've created uh, and I still maintain we need a third. We've we've created a system for for for liberty and a system for for trial by jury and all of these things. But we're going to to tell this all apart just for some some tiny pithy sayings. Is that what's adding to it? John? John? Part of me? If you just move your foot over, I I found the pocket watch that well, that's my pocket watch that must

have fallen out. No, no, it's his now and you have to you have to cry. It's in the constitution. Weep. Oh, welcome back, Mr Jefferson. Your room is ready than you. Um. Would you like some accompaniment tonight? Uh? Yes I would. We're talking music, right of course, Yes, yes, of course we have. That's our I think that's how any instrument. Actually, I'm not gonna that's a lot of instruments. Yes, yes,

your choice. We have the largest accompaniment section. Okay, can we uh get some wine up through the dumb waiter that I invented here? Hey hey, hey hey, oh no, I got wine for you, the one you invented. I thought I told you fired that dumb waiter, but I brought you wine. No smour please please, yeah, we'll take man, Sam, just go outside. Okay, so we'll see this store. Yes, yes, thank you. Okay, any instrument you'd like, we'll have it sent up. Your wine will come through the dumb water,

your accompaniment will come up the stairs. I'm so excited about this constitution that we how's it going with how's it going in there? Good, good, good stuff being said. Yes, yes, we're opening with no shirt, no shoes, no service. Do you need um my, My wife has a lot of good ideas. Do you want some women to combine like chip in and women? Well? Ah, yeah, I guess it was silly, silly. Just well, we'll send you. I'll pick an instrument and send it up to you. Very good

and very good sent some red. Okay, Duc, Ben, let me get this straight. Now. This might be a little convolute because I'm just trying to wrap my mind around how brilliant you are. You're saying you round electricity in the sky and the rain was God crying. That's right, that's what I yes. So I was holding a key, right, and then light and it was raining. God was crying.

God was God was weeping, weeping. He was weeping. And then a lightning bolt hit the key and I said, wow, that's powerful, strong, and I felt it in my body and I felt an electric situation at a search go through me, and I thought, I can capitalize on this. So even even even God is not exempt from from the finders, keepers, losers, weepers. Well, listen, he lost the ball. So it came to me. Now the electricity is mine and he's weeping. Very well, very well. I will leave

you to bed um. Thank you, benneh. I saw you with that Duc, man, you saw you with that girl last night? Man? What's up? What's up? What's up? You do? You You got that, didn't you? Didn't you? You got that? Didn't you? You know? I actually didn't Ben? Throw the darts? Please Okay, Oh my gosh, just give me a moment. It's hard for me to multitask. Good God, you get laid all the time, aren't you. Duck man? I mean

I get laid. I wouldn't say all the time. So I was in my bed and this bozo comes in and talk to me about finds keepers and really debate it with me. So dumb waiter. No, gosh, it wasn't the dumb waiter. He got fired. And be, my favorite thing about you is that you sleep with all these women because you are a playboy. And then your wife is just home built in that house and having multiple strokes. Hell, yeah, that's my favorite thing about each that's ours. I just

watched a documentary, Yes, Mark, Yes, did you watch that? Mark? Not yet? No, I gotta look. It's two of my favorite things. It's a show tune Smith and ken Burns so much fun, folks. And uh, I hope you learned a little bit about American history. And uh, let's let's check in with our alchemists one more time. Mark Agley already. Always nice to have somebody who actually knows American history here.

I'm a big fan. And uh and I it's you are all such a delight and I I thank you for letting me sit at the cool kids table and play. So thank you. And Mark Agliarity, of course, the original drunk history storyteller from the very first drunk History episode that was that was online that you did. Uh uh

Hamilton's bird Duel was the story right, It's still available online. Yeah. Uh. And then and then it began a juggernaut that you you spent a hell of a lot more time with than I did, but you were you were always our favorite drunk storyteller. And uh it. Mark always would lie down on the floor, that's his go to I get drunk. I would always wind up on the floor. Uh. Chris Albarado, what do you know about American history? Um? Not much, not much. Were like I just said, Um, I watched

that Ben Franklin documentary, really enjoyed it. I think I said this tell you guys in in private maybe, but you know I did submit my own my own self produced drunk history tape once. Um this is true. My yeah. Mark, what my manager was like A I was like, oh, I can get it to their table, like I can get it to the to the desk, Like go ahead, and just make one yourself. So I did one. I got really hammered by myself. What a friend? Who issue? What you mean? I told a story about Bob Dylan

or something like that. So An, it's very very similar mark you and a very very similar beginnings. Craig, wonderful job hosting. I love you so much. Amen, this this was a blast, Jackie Gonzalez do Ruthy, what what story would you tell on drunk History if it came back from cancelation? You know, I do? I am. History is a very bad subject for me. It's not my strong suit at all. Um. Dates are really bad for me. Numbers are really bad. So um, what story I remember?

You know what? You you look it up first. It's not something that you innately know. And are you telling them how it works? You know you you look it up either your research. I would, I would, Um, I would tell the story of the challenger exploding. And I don't know why that is, like what came to my mind. That's what came to my mind. And I'm really sorry to everyone and myself that that's my mind. It would

be a hilarious episode. Sure you do. You do get a researcher who can give you information as well, so of like and you're you're allowed to to do your own research. That's well history that that phrase, that phrase has become bloated a tool thing. What what what's your best subject? Uh? Math? I love math. We Yeah, I was always ahead in the math class. Is always trying to take the higher math and every level of my growing up education experience. So but I like I like

them all. I did research for like a nonprofit organization, So whenever I hear do your own research, I'm like, no, no, you don't know how to do it. It's a lot of f and work to do proper research and turn into report. Uh yeah. In Texas history, like u S history, we got we had Texas history start in the sixth grade, I think through the rest of us. Yeah, whoa, yeah, there's a lot of it. Texas Rangers. Maybe I would probably not love the more revisionist take that we had

on drunk history on the Alamo. Uh. That that's a loaded, loaded story for for Texas. I think all the missions in their history is gonna slowly turn or not totally turned, but it's going to be seen from the other side of it. And that's yeah, that's a fair Point. Thank you, Alchemist. Then thank you to our engineering producer Doug Babe and all the fine folks at I heart Media dot com. Please write to us at UPO me this email at gmail dot com until next time