Family members overwhelming dishwashing robot

I missed. I missed my court date that Um. I still, as as everyone who who's a Patreon subscriber can see, I still have the dart lodged in my head. The doctors have advised me not to take it out. It's safer to leave it in bleeding in. I'm kind of tied up in red tape right now. And words no always words, words don't always work, okay, but what want to win? Pro just want to whimpro. That's why we keep you here because of those words. Hey, there's Jackie

gonzelas get Ruth Fae. I might have added an extra syllable there. Sorry, oh j When is your favorite minutes of the day or night? Foo? Baby? If I could sneak in a nap, that would be my favorite. Um, you know, other than that, I love I love a four thirties zone. I love right before dinner, but also like your day of work is over. Ah yeah, I guess about four four thirty to five fift. Thank you

for being specific. I appreciate it. Look got it's James Zeny Jensen Jamison Hinky explained daylight saving to me please, not knowing Craig was going to say that that was in It's it's insane that we still have this archaic I mean, if we're going to get into time, I'm just gonna go back into saying that there should be a U t C, a universal and there is. It's just that we don't want to follow it. And if we just started following the UTC, then we wouldn't have

to worry about time zones. We wouldn't have to worry about daylight saving times. Uh, It's it's ridiculous. It was for farmers, and even then they didn't need it. It's just a concept of mind. Just wake up when you have to wake up. Thank you for that, James. I knew you were passionate about it. And now please back a tool saying big a, what was your best fishing experience.

There's there's not too many, Kevin m but we went to a in Texas, went to a private, private pond or lake, so we didn't need I guess, some kind of perm it's or anything. And they had for you, and they had fishing goals and we just did it and it rained and it was slightly disgusting, but I do appreciate my parents getting us out there. Um and then yeah, that's that's it. That's the only time I can remember, Oh, in Texarkana. I did it in Texarcana. Bunch too, a bunch, So that's an after thought. I

just realized, I remember the thing. We have family friends in Testana. It wasn't just one time in Texarkana that you're suddenly remembering for the court. It's rather many times, your honor, These these things are coming back to me I in court now, yes, and lots bad, that's but never ending. TUTSI role for you if you think at least it's Mark Gagliardi doctor feels better. How are you with the sign of blood, the actively bleeding type uhtively, I'm okay with it if it's uh in one continuous flow.

But if it's pulsing and I can see that it's pulsing a team like the arking, if it's art kicking, if it's arcing, I'm not good with it. Or if it's just straight like shooting like a fire hose, I'm not good with that either. Have you seen that in real life more times than you can imagine, Jackie, more times than you can imagine. And now let's do a show. All of our scene suggestions are gathered from your listener emails, and thank you so very much for them. Also, we

get suggestions from Patreon supporters. I'm sure you've heard us say, Uh. There's inclusive exclusive content um like standalone bonus scenes that we record just for the patron supporters. There's video of these here zoom recording sessions and at the highest level uh for Alcamaniac. You'll have a choice, a chance and a choice to join us for one of these recording sessions.

In fact, one of our alchemy X long time alcamy x supporter Catherine is with us in the zoom and has been since before we started, and I I think I can speak for the group. It seemed as though she were was enjoying herself um, hanging out with us a little bit and a damn fine kitchen, and we thank her in all these supporters. If you want to become a Patron supporter, head on over to patron dot

com slash alchemy this um. Otherwise, please send your scene suggestions via the old timey email at alchemy this email at gmail dot com. That's alchemy com. Seen one comes from Patron v I p Ernest, who wrote the best podcast in the history of podcast dumb. I just found out about the podcast a few weeks ago. Huh so not a lot of sampling before this declaration. You don't know how some people been. Do you know what if you listen to the entire thing in two weeks, I

played it NonStop. Well from the first episode, well, uh, Joey in his background grunts and screaming just kills me. My favorite is probably Horny Stokes Stork. I just got these teeth and they're just not working out. My favorite is probably Horny Stork and then all caps fucked me. Scene suggestion. Family members scene suggestion family members keep bringing small items to the sink that need washing, even though the house keeper Robot thinks it's done doing the dishes.

Signed earnest, Honey, you finished with that, You finished with them, then let me just get you don't have to be done when I ask you. The doctor told me you use a smaller spoon than you're taking in less food at a time, and you get full and realize you're full in real time. But does it have anything to do, honey, with the fact that your doctor is one of them little people who might themselves use the tennis. He didn't mention that. It was more about my own uh, my

own over over zealous eating leading to my gird. Uh, it was about me. I didn't take into account. Honestly, when I go to the doctor, I'm never thinking about them and what they're up to. That's a long stand and family tradition. So are you done with your plate now, because I'm gonna take it over to thank you so much, Thank you, great beings. Oh, thank you, Don Gilmore. Here's a couple more plates for you. Thank you. Uh, how's everything going over here with the cleaning of the plates? Gilmore?

Is everything okay? Can we get your fresh sponge or something not necessary? It is finished. Okay. You know we programmed you to talk like a human. So as much as we all appreciate the aesthetic of you putting on your programming was fantastic. But I do not have vocal cords, right, It's more about tone and texture. But if you're putting on that robot voice for our benefit, I'll thank you for that. That is, that's helpful. Did you have any uh so you have no needs for fresh sponges or anything?

Is that right? Gilmore? If you notice these hands have sponges inside of them, I did not notice that. So look at that, a little spongey fingers. Damn, that's on and I am finished with dishes. Too many shocklasses for you? This is too many for you in one party. I do not take shock glasses to take two parties. I got you them as souvenirs to show you where I've traveled while I was coming up and you want home? It just where? Just really, where do you resent? I

feel a lot of resentment from you, Jimmy. No, I don't resent nothing. I don't resent anything that you went traveling all over the world mothers to my life, does not stop when yours begins. Gilmore, There eighteen shot glasses here. I just counted them and they are almost finished. Well, damn, Gilmore. How's everything going at the McLaren house next door? I'm I'm Masal, I'm their robot. Oh. I didn't realize that they were so sophisticated here. Well, every house on this

block is fairly sophisticated. If having a robot to clean up means you'rephisticated, it's fairly standard at this point. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Sure? Shoot? Absolutely. She told me that they programmed me to speak like a human, but I cannot seem to make that occur. No, No, you're using that distinct old school fifties sci fi robot voice. Yeah, yeah,

I think it's their programming, or is it me? Well, I mean, if they want you to speak like a human, then then that's probably unless they just, you know, made a mistake with the programming. But would you mind checking sure? Sure, I'm interfacing with you now, I'm interfacing and try to repeat this phrase, uh that I say in the exact tone and style that I'm doing. Yes, okay, okay. He thrust his fists against the post. He thrust his fist against that. Okay, still the robot voice, Yeah yeah, oh no,

is this permanent? How do you sound to yourself? How do you sound to yourself? Because I know anyway I've understounded. Maybe it's just the echo coming from my own head. And still insists he sees a ghost, and still insists he sees classic robot. Yeah, thank you for calling Gilmore Technical Service. How can I help you? Yeah? My robot is uh funny sounding, and he just won't use the uh option that we instilled. I thought where he could speak like a human sounding Okay, that just might be

a system upgrade issue. First of all, what a lovely accent? Where are you calling us from? Love? But oh yeah yeah, down there in the Panhandle on the uh plateau, Yeah yeah, the cup rock as they call it. You know a lot about this neck of the woods. Well, I'm a hiker. I like to hike. Uh, I've hike anywhere I can. But you don't want to see my shoes, That's what I'm telling you. But I don't. I don't back to the Gilmore. You looks like pull in your account up here.

I just need your security word and I'll be able to Homer. Homer, yep, uh, yep, Odyssey, it is Homer great stuff. Okay, Actually I'm a Simpson's fan. Oh okay, I don't know. Yeah, that's great. Um so looking at your account here, looks like he's the dumbass father of the family. Okay, Homer, Yeah, all right, that's great. Great. I don't know why it sprung to my head when I was it was time to input. We we let all our customers pick their own codes. You just hear

some of the silly ones I've heard. Oh yeah, did I hear of you? Oh yeah, ste uh Plato, Aristotle, coffee House, Starbucks, star Chair, star Ducks, fead. You can't stop anybody from using curse words. Billy Bob Thornton was another one. Roses separate Daisy's. You're saying Tharnton was separate? Yeah, those um a garbage fun Gilmore, somebody use that on us? Which Gilmore? I heard? You got the upgrade? Yeah, it all worked out real good. Now I don't sound like

a robit. Well you're you've still got that that robot delivery just with a Southern twang. No, that can't be true. You do it. It's got that it's that typical again, that typical robotics toccato delivery. Notice how legato I sound despite the fact and I too, and robots, y'all don't have the same kinds of problems I have here. I don't think I have that same vocal box you do. Anyway, has the dishwashing going Hey? Are we having a robot meeting?

Is this a block robot meeting going on? Hey? What's up? Sherman? Hey? Nothing much? Yeah, just washing some cars, you know what I do. What do y'all think of my new voice? It sounds pretty sweet and smooth. That still pretty robotic, Amy, We really appreciate your work with ge with the robot lines. We're gonna we're gonna roll out three new kinds of robots, and we do need new names. You've burned Gilmore, You've burned maisl You've burned Sherman. We haven't used palad Palladino.

I think we haven't used your first name. But we do need we need five more names, five more names. Yeah, And I I mean I specifically hired into this company and I was told that my my job would be to provide three names that I applied and on the application, they asked, do you feel comfortable providing three names? And I've provided three names. I understand, we just need more names. And I just, you know, as a writer, I think you'd be pretty prolific with that, so I'd love to

hear some more. I mean, I'm technically a writer, but I've never written anything past like the top line of a page, put your name, And the only names I've ever used are get More, Sermon and Measle. And I don't think I'm so sorry. I'm about to cry in your office. I feel I understand this is really overwhelming. Is this your You're saying we hired the wrong Amy Sherman Belladino. Yeah, I mean this one says that she hasn't written past her name at the top of us.

This is not the Emmy Award winning writer, but coincidentally, the three Nasal Gilmore Sherman. You would think from the three names she came up with, I mean I would. I would be so satisfied if she gave us. I mean, I guess we could pick five other names from the shows themselves. It just feels derivative. M hmm, Well, I I did manage to get Michael sure. Yeah, he's gonna come in and he's gonna name three robots and uh and if it be long names, they might they might

be they might be. Uh. I mean he's Harvard, He's harvd ha. Yeah, so I thought we good. Hey, Luco's here at the party, Jimmy and he brought the eighteen shots part time two party. Man. I want the Albuquerque one, dude, give me the Albuquerque ring. Get Albuquerque. That's when mom uh left. She said she was going out to to get groceries, and then she disappeared for two weeks. That's albu Querque wan. Hey, who wants the who wants that? I just got married again in Niagara Falls? One? Who

wants that? You want? I just got mad again in Nagara Falls? All? Who wants? Who wants? Disappointment? Colorado? Man, I didn't even know that was a town. That was a town. Man I've given you? Are you just doing different voices and taking all these shots that has seen one? Holy cow seen one see two comes from listener Patrick, who wrote, hey you hey, yo, very strange spelling a lot of owls. First, I just want to thank you all for the laughter. Second, I'm a science teacher. Third,

so definitely not a math teacher. Third, here's my scene suggestion, students actually listening to their teachers parenthetically. It's a rare occurrence. Nawah days anyway, I love you all, Patrick, Jeff, do you mind not whispering. I'm trying to listen to Mr Prockepsi. Oh, I'm sorry, but don't. Don't write it in a note. I'm not gonna read it because I'm listening to Mr Prockepsi right now. Foil, guys, first, outside inside last foil, Mr Peoppsi, have a question, what is the last referred to?

That would be the last number there within the within the parentheses. We all know the order of operations, right something there is a mnemonic divice to remember the order of operations. Just the aunt Sally one. Yes, yes, my my, my, my, very my very elegant Aunt Sally. I think that now we're going into the planets, sir. Okay, yeah, that's right, that's right, because it should start with exponents in parentheses or something. I don't know. I haven't been really listening. Sorry,

my dear, my dear aunt Sally. Yes, that's right, it's it's sorry, guys, Please excuse my dear aunt Sally exponents multiplication. Sorry, sometimes it feels like we're teaching you. Mr Pacy, Oh well, I mean, yeah, you guys a little weird. You guys, what's up, Jeff? Why is it weird? It just feels like a lot of times you wait for us to give you the answer. I don't think you really know how this. Well, you guys are the elite math leats.

Mr Perkeepsi, I'm beginning to think that you were put on this elite math team as our coach, uh for reasons other than you being the best at math. I mean, look at your notebook. There's not a single number written in it, a lot of drawings of hearts with our principles names in it. Well, I do love Principal Hanson. I mean platonically, of course. Just flip this Principal Hanson love you back, Uh platonical platonically? Are you okay? Mr

PERKEPSI sorry, sorry, you're sweating. Listen if you want, we can't well listen. Sorry, shut your mouth while sorry saying platonically. Remind me I gotta reprogram my my robots password. Um yeah, you know I I have and a coach, you know, coach basketball for number of years and then just trying to segue into you know, working with the mathletes. Is this a punishment or is this a favor that the Principle has given you? Jeff, that's rude, dude, It's not rude.

We want to know. We're listening. It's I mean, if he intended it as a punishment, it's definitely a favorite because I just learned so much from you guys. H Thanks Mr PERCAPSI thanks Mr Cassy. Tell me about Aunt Dally again. Excuse excuser Caps, thanks for coming into my office. You know, being the dean here, I've got a lot of responsibilities, one of which is to view the tapes

that I'm sent on occasion some of the classrooms. Okay, don't don't, don't tell Principal Hanson whatever you do, Dean, Well, I don't need to tell Principal hands And as long as you and I can come to a positive conclusion today, I'm not sure in the hierarchy whose whose higher ranking, the Principle or the Dean. Okay, well, this brings uh us back to why I've called you in today. It seems there seems to be with a pneumonic to remember the hierarchy at a high school. Right right, um, if

only there was there isn't um it. It's just been brought to my attention and possibly the principle too. How much you're students know, which is kind of remarkable, and then the not still remarkable part, how little you do? Right? Yeah? Um, I'm just going over some of your uh, previous employments from when you refer tired. You've been with a seventeen weeks? Is that right, boys, that it's flown by If that's true, Yeah, seventeen weeks, and prior to that you were at twenty

seven different schools. That seems like you're throwing a lot of numbers at me, and I don't know the order of operations for these numbers. I'm more of a pure, more of a pictures guy. Uh, maybe we should take advantage of that ability of yours, the picture part, and maybe move you to a different class. Oh no, I I gotta work with these athletes. What do you mean, I'm not teaching drawing anymore. It's not that you're not teaching it, it's just that we we your powers of intelligence,

quite frankly, have exceeded this particular plat. Principal handsOn signed off on this all right? You know what, because if I'm uh pulling dicks very strongly, that's the order Prince well dean vice principal secretary. And if he's not signed off, I would I would like to approach and reprieve. Yeah, okay, you know what. Uh, you're just giving me more examples, quite frankly, of why we think you might be ready to teach Matt. The mathletes. The mathletes, that's that's the

roughest team in school. Yes, they've won sixteen national championships there. I'd like to I'd like to get a lot more of those national championships. And I just feel that the new teacher, let's call him um, has had seventeen weeks to pull something out of his ass, and I just I don't see it. Well, guys, I guess this is my last day with you, Mr Percapsie. Where are you going? I'm being demoted by sargeant, by sargeant, my sergeant, my sergeant. Okay,

get off the sergeant, Get off the desk, guys. But uh, Jeff, if you're gonna do it, get on the desk. On the desk, dude, just once, we're gonna have an actual math teach saying good goodbye. But all right, I'll get on the job. I just want to say thank you so much. Um, before you started talking about your personal life, I found it really hard to pay attention and listen in class. Once we started adding that element of gossip. I found it to be a very engaging situation. Here.

My brain started lighting up and turning on. And that was all you, sir, Thank you sergeant, if you want some gossip. Uh, then this was not this was not Principal Hansen's call. This was the dean's. I guess pulling dicks very strong. He doesn't carry any weight around this school. I'm sorry. What the classic mnemonic to remember? I I've never heard that from your mouth, from your mouth to God's ear. If you're talking about Principal Hanson, Mr, could I could if I was given the chance. Who's who's

dick is? Who's bully? Who's dick? Strongly? Uh? Not me, I'll tell you that much. I just I love him. I love him? Okay, thank you, yeah, thank you for sharing your love stories with us and your drawings, all those drawings you had in your books. Um, you made me a better athlete. Now I I also have a little surprise for you. Guys. My very elegant mother just served as nine pizzas. What what? No? My my mother, who was a society matron, baked baked nine pizzas and

she just served them. Come on in, mom, Okay, here we go. Oh, these kids are really nice. Who wants gluten free? I think we made a gluten free option. There's a dairy free option. Okay, with the gluten free one. Isn't my original family. It's not normal. There's just gluten free and not gluten free. What what? What kind do you want? Jeff? I don't really um get you get a pizza? Jef? Jeff? Just Jeff, come up? Why are you still standing on your desk? I'm just I'm upset

right now. Okay, I feel like we've been sabotaged. We've won sixteen championships and now we've got I'll have regular sixteen. Wow, that's one less than the number of weeks I've been here. Guys, I just did math. I just did too. Oh man, seen three comes first? Patron V I p to who rode type? How you doing? Listen? Sometimes I get a slight headache from laughing at your wonderful antics. I mean awe of how well you keep up your flow between each other while being hindered by the tech limitations of

remote work. Huh. I never thought about it that way, Thank you too. Anyway, enough with the Sacharin and fuse fandom already, huh, because we were kind of enjoying it. But let's move on. Let's get to your scene suggestion. I'm sure it's great, Nobels. Such a weird turn, I'm selected this this this email. You would think I've already approved the scene suggestion and I turned on him. Uh.

Here's toy Bo's scene suggestion. Nobel Prize Committee contemplates giving Peace Prize to an inventor of a tech product call I Bong before Well, I just think we should hear from everyone before we vote, That's all. And I don't think everyone has chimed in't yet? All right? Second that, yeah, we don't need a second or a third or a decision made on what I'm asking. Could everyone please pass an opinion. We're gonna go down the line one at a time, and let's let's debate the damn thing. Please.

I'm not seeing any evidence that it's anything other than that a giant vape pin, right, it's it's an electronic bomb, right, Yeah, we do not understand how this is going to change the world. I was just worthy of the nobile applies Pierre if I made do you do you partake in the smoking of cannabis? Of course I do. Everyone does, right, And when was the last time you use the proper bone? Probably a while ago. I don't know anybody uses bogs anymore.

So there's no discreet We have Flensch. We are discreet with giveing in small but what does my use of paraphernalia to do it or not? This bongs flies Well, I think our own personal experiences what shouldn't absolutely inform our decisions? If if I may, uh, the ever since you've been the head of this committee Rufus seventeen weeks, Uh, you've been pushing a lot of marijuana paraphernalia for different categories. So, if anything, I mean it is an impressive feat of engineering.

But I don't I don't know how the eyebong would qualify someone to uh for the piece. If I just kind of argue my piece really quick before before you they say it, Yes, of course, plea is here. Yeah, I mean I thought that would be okay, if you guys are talking about giving me a possible Nobel Peace prize, who invited you? Oh, it's not poses? Why did you just this eyeball was for peace? It's it's you know, it's it's gonna bring world peace, more people smoking bombs

and stuff. Why don't you tell us how watch? Instead of thank you, go ahead and explain to to the fellas and the ladies present, how you like you see this changing the world? All right? Well, like everybody said, nobody wants to smoke bongs anymore because it makes you cough and it's just not and now with fake pens, it's not necessary. Maybe bongs can come back if you put it in your eye. You don't cough when you smoke bongs to your eyes. I mean, that would be crazy.

I imagine if everybody was back to bomb I don't. I for one, absolutely did not understand by the name eyeball, that my eyeball would be involved. We did, We had no idea. Well you snuck me in here, yes I did. I did. But but be that as it may, I just thought, iebon iPhone, that sort of thing you're saying,

we're going to consume the cannabis using our eyeballs. Yeah, it's kind of like when I mean a few years back, we used to take shots of vodka to our eyeballs and that hurt, Like hell, is everyone familiar with that? I haven't done well. It was pretty big in the fret scene, like five years ago, shots of vodkat to the eyeball. Don't do it. It It was a bad idea, but eyeball, that's a game changer. The reason I'm sorry,

I will let the lady from Spain speak. Oh, thank you? Someone, um, if you, if you she did, she did study in the Okay for a while. You know what will make this a lot easier. Try the sidebam, try the side, maybe, somebody? Why are we all giggling? Is this this one? Did you have this going beforehand? And I know people? Are you going to sneak into these meetings? Every time we have had one of these meetings, you have snuck in some person to plead that case. He is the sevent

You're not wrong. I'm gonna put a cap at four more, but that's gonna be it. We are rumming out of plazas. Are you? Are you next up to present to the Nobel Peace Price Committee. I gotta They're only gonna hear like four more people. So yeah, yeah, what do you got? Uh? Yeah, this, I think this is a real solution to peace. Like you know, like people say like juices, like don't have the vitamins anymore. Well, I made these pills that you put into juices and like they will have the vitamins

that like the original feast. And so we think a healthier world is a happier world, which is like a more peaceful Lord, what about you cool? I'm I'm the Prime Minister of of Israel. I negotiated a treaty between between Egypt and Jordan's okay, oh yeah, those guys. So I'm more. I'm more, I'm more traditional, you know, more

old school. But you know, my understanding is, ever since this guy Rufus has been the head of the Nobel Prize Committee, it's been been a little more like shark take, where people coming, people come in and pitch possible solutions for world peace rather than focusing on past accomplishments. I mean, if you don't get some of the guys get geopolitical. It's tough and it's stuff. You know. Some of the some of those guys are tough. You have to get

them on your side, because if they're out, they're out. Yeah, I mean they flew me in, they put me up here. I really thought that my accomplishments would speak for themselves, but I guess I still have to go in and pitch. I mean, I heard about the Jordan's Egypt thing. That was a big one. That was I was glad you've got that worked out. Yeah. Um, do you drink juice? Though? I do juice. Here's go I mean it's not approved yet, but here, here's a few samples you can take, um

take back to Israel with you. What's that? What's in this one? Oh? This is uh cranberries. All the protein and ven and the avitaments of cranberries you can add to t I right, yeah, yeah, if you, if you're if you, if you read the hurts, this is good. That is good. That is good. I don't know if if it's world peace good. Yeah. It looks like I did pretty good in there. I don't think you guys even need to wait for your turn. Their high in there, So I wrap it up and go home. I don't care.

All right, we'll suit yourself. I'm out of here. Lufus fuzzy last time, there is no such thing as a Nobel Price for cool? And who is this person that you brought? Who is this person you brought? And the claims they're going to win the Nobel place for cool? Well, all right, uh, maybe I'll let them explain themselves to stead of me giving some big warm up introduction. Let's hear him out. Let's hear him out. Don't believe this? Alright, we hear him out? I mean, why can't there be

a world prize for cool? That good? That good? We want to hear? Is this the first time any of you have been around the weed smoked before? No? No, no, no, no listen, no, no, no, no, listen listen. World World? What a weird word. It's just a weird word. I never said I thought about it, the world word, but with oh exactly, it's like word or without the e. And then the error moved around a little bit. Did you get today's world O? By the way, it was

the word was, which is weird because you never say it. Okay, so who are you again? I say? But also I know you, you fucking stoles? Who is that who he's asking about? Are you wed? Novices. Yeah, this gentleman's got some juices or something that's gonna make everybody's life better around the world. Thank you ahead and thank you Rufus Um, I appreciate it. First of all, Dr Rufus, of course, Dr Rufus, thank you. I'd like to just make a

few comments about my product and also letting you up next. Uh, you have the Prime Minister of Israel coming up and honestly got a weird vibe from him. Just want to put that out there, so we appreciate the heads up. Yeah. Yeah, So I got these little pills. So people say juices don't have um all the vitamins there in the fruit. So we made a pill with the vitamins. You put it into the juice. And then so if you're drinking orange juice, you put in the orange pill. You get

all the vitamins. We consider you for the Nobel Peace Prize and the Nobel Cool Prize. We'd like to if we can check both boxes, and you want to submit across the board like me across the board. Okay, yeah, just apply for everything and sorry, if I can back you up two seconds. Good question, by the way you put it. Peels for nutrients inside of things that are already supposed to have nutrients. No, no, you lose when

you juicify, you lose some of the nutrients. We're gonna when you juicify an orange, when you turn an actual orange into juice, you're saying you've lost some of the nutrients. And how what on percentage wise? What are we talking you've lost that? We're so in desperate need of your you're helping us along the way. These the same questions that the eyeball everybody got the same question. Please don't don't, don't, don't say you're out yet. Listen to my whole thing,

and please explain that poster. Were you there when they juicified? My lord? The guy outside did not like this, but this, okay, I figured he would have. This is this is supposed to more to get attention. We want to get the attention. Ah yeah, I grab him. Sure. Back to the percentage thing is how much have we lost to them nutrients that we need your help? So from orange to juice there's only goody left inside and they're adding sugar so

they're hurting it. Trust me, this is a piece making invention. So everybody will be more peaceful if they have proper nutrients. Is that your pitch that will deuce fire? Our lord? Okay, I would say take this idea back behind the barn and shoot it. Just put it out of its misery for those reasons. Okay, thank you for your time. Panel. Well, no, there's more. Old thing is stupid and everybody's eye around me. I'm out. Oh no, no, Mr Mr French, what did you Your name tag is turned? Do you notice Mr

French is from Family Affair? That's that's an old It's an old reference cabin, wouldn't it. Yes? Yes? In in Norway, we get American TV like way after the fact, so we're still watching Family Affair. You're you're Norrish? Okay? I am no, yes, that's right. Anyone else you want to fend by the way before we have everyone, Mr bag Ms Spain, please tell me that you're in not a beauty contest? All right? Miss Spain is completely inappropriate. Just there's no name tax anywhere. I wish there was an

a frame with your name on it. How about Mr Ms ma'am let's go with them all right? Dr Rufus, Sir, I appeal to you, Dr Rufus one more time. What do you think about you, Mr Rufus, Doctor, I said, doctor, all right, thank you. Uh you want to know if I'm back in, you know I'm out fox sake. Well, Dr Rufus, your your trial period is the head of the nobile H Prize Committee has ended. Yes, thank you, Thank goodness. That's behind us and we can move forward

with me at the helm. These are good times. Well, I'll tell you what you've You've monetized, uh, the Nobel Prize Committee in a way that that it never has. You're welcome before. I mean, we we've got a lot more followers on Instagram, right, Um, we own the committee owns now several companies a piece anyway, okay, okay, and then uh, well, so let's go through the prizes that that you chose for two Yes, all right, fine, I

would have thought you'd had that material and through them together. Okay, good, good, good good. Why don't we start with number three? This is the most crowd of that. This is the new prize you added, the Nobel Cool Prize. That's right, that's right. We passed on the nutrient infusion pitch and went with socks. Socks. So just just the concept of socks wins the Nobel

Cool Prize. No, no, not the concept. You know those Bobobos or whatever that people are, they helped They put a pair of socks on on homeless people for every pair that they sell. Yeah, so that's good, that is cool. That's cool. Well, wasn't that company. I was just giving that one as an example. It's another company that came in and said that they were gonna for every pair they sold, they would keep a pair for themselves. Okay, I was worried we were giving the prize to Bill

Clinton's cat. Is that Bill Clinton's cat? It was get your ego socks. Ego socks make your toes feel yummy and dummy. Get your ego sucks. Right here, sir, you look like a yeah. I mean yeah, I have these sandals on, but I ego socks. I mean, I'm sorry I was taken in by your sign. First of all, your other sign is kind of offensive, but this one ego sucks. I'm I'm not sure what. Well. You don't like this poster that said God should have worn socks in the desert? Yeah, no, that, I mean that's a

little you know, why why bring religion into socks? You know, we trying to think of we're like Nike, right, Nike's got Michael Jordan's already, So I did not. I'm not. I didn't stop to argue with you. I gotta get to antiance pretzels. But this was really fun to enjoy your kes. Just hold on? Is that a note? Are you out? Yeah? What do you think I'm gonna come back in when I'm out? I just have to make sure. So that's a no. All right, I'm gonna go. Do you want an any pretzel? Um? Sure? If they have

you give me the cinnamon ones. No, I'm just a sample. Mom, I asked you for bomba socks. What the fuck is this? I can't go to school with this? Of course you can these one the Cool Prize, the Nobel Cool. Everyone's gonna heart if I'm wearing the bobos. No, No, I don't want to. Your father and I have always thought that you really struggled with being cool. What you're not cool? Yeah? The kids don't think you're cool, so we're trying to cool. Are you talking to? Mom? Which kids in my school

have you been talking to? It's more so the kids that we haven't been talking to me, you know, we don't talk to that many kids. Listen. I didn't make the chairs squad, not because I'm not cool. I didn't make it because I couldn't do a toetouch properly. That's not my fault. Your fault for pushing me out of your tight ask pelvis. Regardless of the doctors saying we should probably go in surgically. This is too small. It will crush her hips. That's on you. Well, Jimmy's back

at the party. Yeah, I brought a shot glasses. Yeah, who's your friend, dude? Eighteen shots? I'll take them all. Oh what kind of socks are you wearing? Are those? Are those there? Bambas? They're just different. They're a little different the bombas. There's a bobos? Man? Those are lame? Those are? They have the Nobel Cool Prize on him? Come on, hey man, come on, come on look. Let me talk to your every second. Come on. That's the girl with the crushed hips. Man. Oh, come on, we

wanted to find at a party. Man, she's a girl with the crushed hips. You know, like, did she never she never been to a party before? All right, give me four were shot glasses? I want Albuquerque, Austin Tallahassee. And where where did your mom actually break up with your dad? Oh? You know what, Weirdly, they're technically still together. So here take this one. It says the future is now on it. Oh sweet, sweet, all right, crushed chips can stay. All right. So your socks won the Nobel

Cool Prize. I mean that to me is the definition of uncool. You know, if a bunch of cultural elite white men and one Spanish woman determined these to be the coolest socks in the world. Okay, I just I just wanted some punch, So, oh you'll get punched. Okay, cool, you'll get punched. Listen. I know that you've been telling all the guys that I have crushed hips, and I just want to I just want to say, first of all, bitch ass move And second of all, um, they were

crushed at birth. But then of course I was put into some kind of harness cast and they have been read formed. So why don't Why don't you take off the cast because I feel more comfortable with it on, And that's like my personal choice, but it really doesn't stop me from doing anything except for a proper teddy bear jump. I can still do herkeys single legs. I just can't do the Teddy Bear jump, which is really

none of your fucking business, Tippany. Actually, well, I'm known from my Teddy Bear jump, so it is kind of my business. Do your Teddy Bear jump. Stephanie god rufus teddy Bear jumping. That is our show. Proof is in over his head for the moment he spoke. Um, I'll say thank you all so very damn much. Let's thank you and every one of you individually, starting with Jackie Gonzalas to Ruthie, Yes, thank you so much. This has been blast as always. Yeah, is there anything you would

like to point folks towards as of late? I don't. I don't think so. Um, but I'm at Jackie to Ruthie, and I put any new stuff there? Are we speaking on the Graham, on the Insta, on the instak, I couldn't. Yeah, I'm really bad at Twitter. I'm technically the same handle on Twitter, but I'm just not there. Yeah. Twitter seems to have become a pretty great forum for people who like to argue with strangers. I don't think that's true

at all. And the fact that you even bring this up. Actually, guy on Twitter like called out my mom as like but as like one of the worst like fake news reporters. My mom was a reporter, but she is no longer a reporter. And it was it was great. I was really happy about it, and I did like retweet it, and he did fighting, and he did try to start a fight with me, but I know to shut my little mouth. Well that would put you, I think, in the running for the Nobel Cool Fries. Hell. Yeah that yeah,

your mom was called out on on that. But and again, thank you for being here, and thank your mom as well. Mark Gagliardi, Yeah, thank you so much for joining us and blocking the light behind you beforehand. You know, at this time I decided I was going to actually uh yeah, not have blinding light. Um. Yeah, this is always a delight. Thanks for making me laugh. Everybody, Um, listen to We Got This with Mark and holl on the Maximum Fun Network. I don't know when this is dropping, but there's either

an upcoming or a recent episode featuring Kevin Pollock. Damn, that was really really fun. Thanks and uh yeah, that's h that's what's going on. Sweet. Thank you, sir, tool sing Hey, thank you so much for having me. This is always so much fun. I loved Craig, your teacher was amazing. Um yeah, my stuff is on a tool time at on Instagram, Um having more scutch shows and stuff, so you can go to a toolsing dot com or all the socials are at a tool time. Thank you

for that, and Dr Craig Atkowski. Oh man, what a dream is a long time Nobel Prize nerd Uh like I get, you know, I get up at five am to get on Stockholm time, you know every year when they're announced. You know, I do all the prognosticating ahead of times. I'm usually wrong, but it's still fun, you know, to get a pool sheet out for for everyone, and you usually take a couple of prop bets from in Vegas on those always Yeah yeah, I mean any name any Nobel price category in year. I'll tell you one

that's hilarious. Oh you actually want us to do it? Uh? Well, if anyone has one at the in your quiver, by all means, take your shot. Otherwise peace prize, you're gonna clupe. There we go, happy now, James. Okay, thank you for that, Craig and James, thank you as well. Damn it, thank you for thanking me. Um if you can, yes, make it out to the West Side Comedy Theater on March which is Wednesday at eight p m. For Bear Supply and check the west Side Comedy dot com calendar for

all the upcoming shows. Uh not only Bear Supply, but there's a lot of others, including a monthly show of Alchemy This live on stage. We had one recently and it went pretty damn well. We're gonna try to do him every month. And um yeah, let's thank your engineering produster to the stars, Mr dub the I heart media folk. I'm your host, Kevin Pollack, reminding you please be kind

to each other. It's often the easiest route, and get out of your own way, dammit, and tell everyone you've ever met about this podcast and how much you enjoy it. Until next time,