All right . Welcome to the Alchemy Podcast, I have here Enchante Gallardo, and she is an American freediving record holder, 85 meters on one breath in...
Free Immersion...
Free immersion. And today we're gonna talk about something that most people have a hard time opening up about, and it is, we're gonna talk about relationships, selfishness and freediving and being a mother. And at the same time, a professional athlete. Welcome Enchante.
Thank you for having me, Luca,
Is it possible? Is it doable? Can we have these kind of relationships and still travel and still connect with people? Because part of this connection is being part of this community is being vulnerable, is being, being giving to it.
Yeah, I mean, I think part of, or being part of the community is about connection and connecting with different people, not just through travel, but also through the sport and this shared passion that we have or shared interest. And I think it, like that's one of the, for me is one of the most beautiful aspects of the sport in general. And, part of the reason why I love traveling and competing and training is meeting different people from different parts of the world.
And it's interesting because you meet different people and , you know, you're raised in different cultures. So there in a way are different perspectives on society and life. But at the same time, like we're like down to the root of it, we're all very similar and, you know it's something really, really cool. I just, and everyone in the community it's like pretty supportive as well, you know, like of each other. Like I think regardless of what level you are as an athlete.
Yeah. I've seen in competitions, it's like, you know, no matter how deep someone's diving, someone's always quick or nice enough to offer or give advice. To help them and being very supportive. So these are the friendships that you built .
Yeah, absolutely.
This strong friendships, strong connections because of the very nature of the sport itself. Um, there's not many sports where you have this incredibly quick and rapid connection with people because it has to be based on trust. It has to be based on , um, just knowing someone's there for you. Υ ou develop strong friendships but then there's also emotions.
Oh yeah.
Right. And there's also that other side of it, and we know some freedivers, we won't name them that have incredible, almost amazing biological biochemical changes during a dive where it's like, it's almost orgasmic. The dive for them is just like, wow, it's a whole other level. So they have more, they're maybe they're using it to express different emotions as well, too. So maybe they have a different connection with people when they dive as well too.
Well, I mean, if you think about freediving as a sport, or in general, especially during competition, it's such a like extreme emotional sport, like the emotions that you experience within a short period of time go from complete opposite extremes. Like, for example, let's say your training and you're preparing for a dive. You have like this maybe anxiety you're trying to relax, but you're also nervous.
And if you don't make the dive that you wanted to do or something happens, then, you know, these feelings of either anger or sadness. But then when you do make this dive that you've been training so hard for, especially during competition. And it's like, holy shit, like, oh my God, it's like this natural freaking high .
Yeah.
That it's exhilarating. And it's insane. And the array of emotions that you experience is, is kind of crazy. It's a very, very emotional sport. If you really, really think about it.
Massively. Massively emotional sport .
Yeah. So it makes sense that like the people that you're with, you're almost going on this journey with them and everyone is on their own individual journey. And you're kind of still sharing these emotions, but in a different way. And you have to in a way connect with these people, because for example, freediving unlike a lot of other sports is very dependent on the people that you're diving with or that you're, that you're around.
Yeah.
Because your life is basically dependent on the person that you're diving with.
It is , it is . And in many circumstances, exactly. That's exactly that.
So there is this kind of bond that you form with that person, whether you've never dove with them before, you just met them the day before, but it's like, okay, I'm trusting you with my life.
Yeah. And you see that with students when you teach too, like at the end of the lesson, like, you feel like there's a friendship and you're like, no, but there's still business here, you know?
Yeah. Well, I mean, it's interesting cuz there is business, but then there's also this trust, you know? That you're almost forced to trust somebody.
You're almost forced to trust. Absolutely.
And it's quite beautiful. It can also be really scary. And I think, think you can also see it in the way that people dive with each other and the energies can change depending on who you're diving with as well.
So that's, that's also something really interesting, you know, with some people you feel really relaxed and really comfortable and then some people you're kind of, you don't know how maybe you don't, you've never dove with them before, so you don't know how they are as a diver or their capabilities as a safety. So that also determines whether or not you wanna push yourself or not. You know?
Yes, absolutely. What fascinates me is this balance between a clear and obvious selfishness that requires you to be a high performing athlete. You have to put on the tunnel vision, you have to put on the horse blinders at a certain point versus this giving and altruism that you have in the community. That to me is something that I'm still figuring out in terms of, of balancing, not just as an athlete, but also maybe as a man and as a lover.
How do I balance these selfish emotions, which will drive me to success? How do I balance these conflicting issues. That selfishness versus that you gotta connect with people. You gotta let go, you gotta be vulnerable. How do you feel about that?
I think that's actually a really good topic. I feel for myself that I've developed a pretty good ability to, I wouldn't say detach myself, but in a way from those emotions and in terms of my dives. Um, and sometimes even in my daily life because if you have, and it , it can become somewhat convoluted, especially when you're talking about emotions and like your personal life. And because there are times where that does affect your diving. There's absolutely no doubt.
Um, but for me, I think I have a, for the most part, a pretty good ability to separate those emotions and do what I need to do, you know, like focus on my dive.
Um, and I've seen it lately in the past couple months is feeling certain emotions in my personal life and my relationships and almost feeling, you know, going through periods where I even feel really sad and bothered and then having to do this dive that I've been training for the past couple weeks or couple months and I have to separate myself from that in order to have a successful dive.
It's almost psychopathic, if you think about the behavior is crazy. It can be categorized as a sociopathic behavior. It's fascinating.
It is, it's interesting to be able to detach yourself and, but it's, I don't even know how to explain it. I don't know if it's a therapeutic thing, because like, when you have the ability to do that, and then you do have these successes, despite that it almost makes you feel not like invincible, but it makes you feel like, wow, like, holy shit, like I can do anything that I put my mind to. You know, and the mind is so powerful and it's , uh, I don't know .
It's interesting to analyze like all these different emotions that you feel and the things that like the goals that you set and everything else and being able to separate that. Um, I know a lot of people who I've actually had some conversations with people recently who have a difficult time with that, you know, they, they're not able to separate those two things as easily and their emotions and, or their connections with the person that they're diving with really affects their dives.
And they won't even, they don't w anna spend the time to maybe try to dive with a new partner because during their training, because they don't feel as comfortable. For me, if I'm, if I training for something and I have something that I need to accomplish, like a dive that I'm working for, i t doesn't matter who I'm diving with. If I feel like they can safety me, then that's what matters to me. Because I have this goal in mind and this is what I came here to accomplish and I came here to s et.
And I have to be able to separate that if I wanna be successful for myself, you know.
So that detachment that's, let's call it selfish detachment. And I say that from the perspective of an outsider, when we know it's a much deeper issue than that, but that detachment is necessary. Which I find super interesting cause I've even heard recently, people tell me, uh, 1 20 plus meter freedivers tell me, I approach some dives as if I'm ready to die. I don't want to d ie by all means.
I have no intention, but I approach it with the mentality that if this is the way it's going to go, I'm okay. I'm ready for it. And that allows you to detach in a way that gives you a focus that I can't even begin to imagine. There's no way I'm even close to that, you know? But when you hear somebody with such a success, say that it's, uh, it's amazing it's wow.
I would call that basically , uh, surrendering to the experience.
Surrendering to the experience.
Or surrendering to this present moment of your dive, for example. And it's also like separating, it's like separating business from pleasure. Kind of.
Yeah. I could see that. Yeah. But this is very admirable. This is very deep. This is being able to walk into a, go do a no limits dive, a very deep one and say, you know what, if I don't come back, it is okay. To detach from friends, family love, experience, life. That is, that runs deep.
Okay. And how do you feel about that? Like in your diving?
I feel like I want to train towards that. Not in a way that it detaches me from life and the other things of life, but actually in a way that will maybe train me to appreciate more.
Do you feel like you're more attached to your emotions when you're diving? Does that, like, would you say that your emotions in your daily life affect your dives? Or are you able to detach from that? If you know that there's something you have to do.
I'd say , I'd say I'm definitely still training that I'm definitely still training that , um, this connection for reconnection let's call it that. Okay . It's not easy, but, but when I hear other people that have had many, many more years of experience and much, much deeper than myself, like I , I admire it that really, I find it amazing. Cuz I've basically read the same things about people going to the mountains. You go to the mountain, you go to the mountain. Maybe you might not come back.
You have to be ready for that.
Yeah. It's it's basically accepting your fate. Like this is, if something happens, this is what's meant to happen. And kind of just letting go. And I think when you're able, and I wouldn't say like, it's a detachment completely from reality, but like you were saying, I think in a way it can allow you to actually have a deeper connection to everything else in your daily life, you know?
Absolutely.
Like when you are able to come back to that and appreciate things more, especially having had these experiences and coming back from it, it's like this successful experience. Like you went down to 120 meters, you came back and so life is just, you appreciate the fact that you're alive.
You appreciate the air and the surface and everything that you left for just a few minutes. So I find that fascinating and that alone is a topic we could talk about for hours, but I'm interested in asking you as a mother, how you feel about that. Cause it's easy for me, I think, to say that as a man with no children, b ut when you have children in this world, it's much different, right? You have that biological necessity t o survive for them.
Absolutely. I feel it's, it's kind of crazy, like putting myself in those situations, but I would also say that I feel that I'm conservative enough, that nothing crazy would ever happen. But at the same time, you don't really know.
You don't really know.
You don't really know and that's, that's true. But I also have that belief, like if something happens, then it happens. That's just part of life.
Back to the topic of selfishness, then on this, have you had people say, "oh, Enchante, you're being so selfish towards your kids, taking these unnecessary risks. What are you trying to accomplish? What are you trying to achieve"? Putting you in your place l"ike, you know you're a mom, therefore this should be your role". Ever had that?
I don't think I've had anyone say that to me directly. A lot of the times it's actually quite the opposite. People think that it's really cool that I'm still doing something that I love despite having children. And I think in a way it shows people that, that having kids doesn't mean that you can't still do what you love.
Achieve amazing things.
But I would say that that is something that I've questioned myself and has potentially been an insecurity is, you know, caring about what other people think and thinking, oh, maybe they're judging me because, oh, why is she going off to competitions? Like she should be at home, like with her kids. And I love my kids and I miss them so much. And they're amazing and hilarious. Uh , but you know my family, my mom, their dad have been super supportive through all of this.
And I wouldn't be able to do this without their support. I know when I'm away, they're in a good place, they're safe, they're happy. Um, and that's really important to me because, you know, if I didn't have that support, of course I wouldn't be doing this. So I feel really fortunate and really blessed in that aspect. Um, and yeah, I wanna get it , get to the point. I wanna bring them with me on these trips.
Yes, of course.
Yeah. I think it's been a little difficult , uh, before them being like younger and also sometimes they're in school and also being a single mother has been, you know, it hasn't been easy as well.
Single mother in the United States of America on top of it, luckily you have an amazing community in Hawaii.
Yeah.
And the culture in Hawaii is completely different.
Oh yeah.
Plus you have a background. I think you're Latino?
Uh , no, actually I'm born and raised in Hawaii.
Born and raised in Hawaii? I always thought Gallardo...
So yeah, cuz I'm half Filipino. So a lot of Filipinos have Spanish...
Ah, cool. But again, Filipinos, I lived in the Philippines such strong family sense without generalizing or making a stereotype. I'm just saying that I think from the people I've met in Hawaii and the different multiethnic backgrounds, I feel like there's a strong community sense and family sense in Hawaii compared to maybe other parts of the States.
Yeah.
Is that fair to say?
I would say like, yeah, absolutely. Cuz I used to live in Puerto Rico , um, Hawaii as well. They have a very big sense of family and support from the family. And that's one of my favorite things about Hawaii and Latino culture is they're so loving, they're affectionate and also very supportive of each other.
Yeah, I lived in the Philippines and I saw that comparatively to Canada, for example, Canada's more of a North American hustle Boston like in the US, but then you have other places in the world where you get more of that community sense that family... So yeah, that's the topic I find really, really interesting.
Yeah, I think that has been somewhat of a struggle because I have faced moments where I've even questioned myself and I'm like, am I being too selfish in doing that? And sometimes I don't know, and you know, I ask o ther people because it can be an emotional topic. Like, you know, should I be a better mother, you know? And I'm always striving to do that.
And you know, I think just on, in my daily life, I'm constantly striving, not just this journey of life, just to be a better person for me, for other people, for my kids, my family. U m, and how can I do that? How can I improve myself constantly?
Yeah.
And you know, I think a lot of the times we beat ourselves up and you know, people are always gonna say things and it's kind of pushing through that regardless of what people say or, you know, the opinions that people formulate about you. I kind of just like separating from that and knowing what you're knowing and trusting in yourself. And what you're doing and that you're doing the best that you can in life.
And you are, you're crushing it. National records.
Yeah, exactly. And I think, you know, it's okay to make mistakes in life, it's natural. It's human and a big thing is also forgiving ourselves.
Self love, yes. Learning to love ourselves. Like we were chatting about with Gus. Oh man that's a hard one.
That's a very, big topic. And I think something that most people struggle with. And self love . You know, I think everyone goes through these feelings of in insecurity. You look at someone who looks like they have their, all their together and you and people kind of admire them. But then when you really get to know someone, anybody, everybody, everybody is going through something.
I'm one of those people. On the outside it looks like I've my s**t together. But I'm running around like chicken most of the time, literally, someone told me that the other day I'm like "spot on good description of me, well done".
Yeah. So I think a lot of people can resonate with that. And it's kind of nice to express those things and be vulnerable and let other people know that it's okay to be vulnerable and that we don't always have our s**t together and that's okay.
Especially freedivers.
It's okay not to always have your s**t together, but that's the importance and the point of the sense of community. And supporting each other. It's like, you go through moments where you have like these extreme highs and everything's great . And then, you know, it's almost like a calm down and you're , uh, sometimes I experience this after competitions, like after the competitions I will get in these molds where I almost feel like really kind of down and low because...
Even after accomplishing something? Even after succeeding?
Yeah. Because your level of dopamine is like so high and it's just like, okay, now what?
What now?
Yeah.
And again, I think it's great. Because back to the selfishness, you have that selfishness, which will help you get there and succeed and you need it. But at the same time, it's, it's almost like the economy cuz it's, you're actually doing a very unselfish thing for your children. Going back to your children. Like you're being the best role model you can be for them.
You know, like, I don't think there's many other children in the classroom with your kids at their school that can say like, "what does your mom do"? "Oh, my mom holds her breath and goes down to almost 300 feet on one breath and is a national record holder". Right? That's really, really powerful because again, on the outside, people might be like, ah , what are you doing? Or maybe some, some aspects of society like, wow, you should be a mother.
You should, this is your role in society, which isn't the case for you, which is really, really lucky. But I know is the fact for many other women in freediving and this other moms in freediving too.
I love seeing other moms in freediving, it's super inspiring.
It's very inspiring.
Like I'm constantly inspired by people every day you know.
I want to have kids in the future and I want to be with someone who also enjoys traveling and having kids and not having to take those stereotypical roles i n society, but continue to do our passion so I think that's incredibly empowering. It's a huge, uh, m otivation to want to be a father an d a better father myself. Be better, a better man myself. And um , uh, I think it's awesome. It's just, it' s so cool that you can actually be a parent, be a mother and accomplish amazing things.
And then your kids look up to you. You're a sup erhero to them.
Yeah absolutely. I mean, I agree with what you said, but again, it also still comes with its daily struggles as small , so , but yeah, it's definitely interesting. And I think if anything, I'm glad to be able to be a part of, one of those people. If I can inspire people like yourself , um, to be able to know that they can still have that family, that like, and have kids and, and travel and do the things that they love.
I'll be extremely honest. Like when I visualize myself in the future and I visualize myself being a father with a cabin in the woods, I visualize myself settling down. Right? It's almost a natural thing.
I think that's something that we've been taught.
We've been taught. Yeah .
As kids like, okay, you go to college and get a job, you get married and you have kids and you settle down in this house and you have to create this, this picturesque life, you know, or follow this bullet point or this linear path basically. But I don't think life is like that.
No, it isn't. And I've met three amazing women, including you recently. And they're all mothers and they're all national record holders. And I think we know what we're talking about. And they are doing the exact opposite. They're traveling, they travel with their kids sometimes they bring 'em to the competitions and they kick ass incompetitions. A nd you look like you're there like doing your yoga and trying to meditate.
And they're there taking care of their children, g iving t hem a kiss, and then they go do the record and you're like, wow, I gotta up my game.
That's amazing.
Like how you can connect and disconnect like that is incredible.
But I think that's so admirable because it shows how strong women are in general.
Oh yeah.
And to be able to have that and then be able to not like kind of disconnect or detach from that. And yeah, like you said, kick ass, and get record , get national records, do these badass dives and then come right back into it and have you know, that affection with their family.
Yeah, and go back into that role right away.
Yeah. I definitely admire mothers who dive and are able to do that because it's not easy balancing training , um, being an athlete along with being a mother. It takes, it takes a lot of energy. So I think that showed for me, it just shows how strong and like powerful women are.
Yes, absolutely.
I mean not to be a sexist .
No, no , no . If anything, I grew up in a house with women, so I had a strong influence with women and that is probably one of the greatest gifts I e ver will have in my life. I really, I really pity when I see men that clearly didn't have sisters or mothers. I really, really pity them because they're gonna have a life that's not as good, just frankly p ut, y ou k now w hat I mean? So if you don't have that influence of a strong woman in your life, work on it, you know, go see, get help fix it.
Cause it's just, you're g onna not live a good life.
I mean, how would you find that? Like how would you recommend that? Or what advice , how would someone find that who doesn't have that?
Ah , that's a great question. Well, beyond my knowledge.
Uh , you mean as a man?
Yeah. As a man.
I mean, as a man, you know, I've met people that had traumatic experiences growing up, difficult family environments, uh, lack of women a nd role models and maybe only influence of men, and the wrong kind of men, and you see the kind of men they become. Maybe obviously connect with the right person, start a family and hopefully have daughters, maybe?
Hopefully have daughters, yeah!
Maybe that's the only way you can become empathetic again?
I don't think it works like that!
No it doesn't, that's the thing. I'm sure there's other much smarter people that have , uh, a roadmap for these people.
Maybe you could just find powerful or friends who are strong, powerful women .
Absolutely.
So it kind of goes with surrounding yourself with those kind of people.
Surround yourself with the right people and the right community. Yeah. 100%. That's an important one. For a lot that's not the easiest thing, but find a community that inspires you and go with it, follow it .
Yeah. That's like one of the things about the freediving community that I've found is really nice. And also what drew me to it. Because I feel like it almost made me not almost, but it made me wanna be a better person. I found, I surrounded myself with better people. And therefore my life became like, everything around me just became better. Like my home life, my family life, my relationships with people. And that's something really cool to see.
And the difference of the people that you surround yourself with, you know. Especially when you're surrounding yourself by other athletes and people who are motivated, it motivates you. I think it's also , that's a really important aspect of it.
It's a good point for me. It's motivated me to be honest and more upfront wth relationships. Um, because you meet, like you said, you meet people, you travel and you have connections. Some are friends, but some are deep or more intimate connections, but maybe the reality is you cannot have that relationship with that person at that time. We're travelers, we're nomads, we're a global community. So at least being able to talk about it beforehand, like, what is this connection we have?
Let's acknowledge our reality? How can we be friends? We also maybe intimate lovers, but acknowledge the fact that you're gonna go one way and I'm gonna go the other, maybe we'll see each other at the next competition or in six months and somewhere else. Um, that has been a challenge for me. But I find that the honesty and the communication has really changed.
Challenging in what way?
Well, cause sometimes you reserve, you think, well, should I let this person into my life? And then, and then we're gonna , uh, we're gonna go, I'm gonna go one way and you go the other way and then I'm gonna feel hurt. That's part of the process. You are gonna get hurt. If you let someone in, someone close and then you have some space, there is gonna be some.
I think that's a, that can be a tough subject in itself. Because I mean, I can relate, especially when you do, a lot of freedivers live a very nomadic life. And you don't know when you're gonna see this person again. I mean, maybe you'll see them at the next competition or somewhere else in the world training. And it's when you meet somebody that you connect with, it's natural to want to open up to that connection.
But also knowing that the time is limited, I think people are afraid to become vulnerable to that.
Yes, exactly. You you hit it on the nail.
Yeah. And I mean, that's definitely something that I've struggled with as well. And I think , uh, maybe a lot of other people might struggle with it, is having these awesome connections with people. And for me, I think it's, I kind of like feeling vulnerable in a way. You know?
Me too.
And I know that a lot of the times things aren't, you know, permanent, but it doesn't matter because I think if you, like, for example, if you have a, whether it's a relationship with someone or a friendship, if you enjoy spending time with that person, you never know what's gonna happen in life anyways. So why not take that time to enjoy that moment to its fullest?
Yeah, absolutely.
Like what's the point in reserving yourself? Like to avoid being hurt when you're probably gonna feel hurt. No matter what, I mean, that's just part of life and it's okay to feel hurt, but why not take advantage of this, this moment, this feeling that you have, because it's not necessarily always common to have, you don't have deep connections, which is to anyone.
No, exactly. Yeah .
So when you do find that, why are you gonna withhold, reserve that, you know?
And we don't, freedivers don't, and then throw a bunch of stress and biochemical changes that we can't explain. And then we realize where we're a whole global community of sex tours , basically what I'm getting to, you know what I mean? Like let's call it for what it is! And this is what fascinates me about this sport.
So I think it's, maybe other people might have a different opinion, but I mean, if you, you know, sometimes people have relationships and , knowing that it's gonna come to an end and then maybe they'll see them somewhere else in the world and resume that, that connection and that relationship. I mean, what do you feel about that?
I think that if in this community you connect with someone so much you'll definitely make it happen. You will definitely make it happen somehow. And you'll figure out a way. But I have struggled with that myself. I have struggled with letting myself go, letting myself be vulnerable, just like you said to somebody, because then my brain, the analytical part of the brain starts being like, "well, you know , maybe you might not see each other. Oh , what about the COVID thing?
It's gonna restrict travel? Oh , she's from this country or from, from this country might not be able to", you know what I mean? You turn that part of the brain off and then just go with the feeling and go with the vulnerability, go with the emotions. And like you said, enjoy the present moment. Enjoy the time you can spend with somebody, whether it's a friendship relationship or an intimate relationship revolved around freediving.
Oh yeah. Any kind of relationship. I mean, I've definitely developed some really deep friendships from traveling and through the sport a nd some of the deepest relationships or f riendships that I've had, you know. So it's really cool. And I think, especially in the freediving community, a lot of people have somewhat similar ideals, so you can kind of relate and resonate with each other.
And then you have some people who are trying to figure it out an d a nd almost opening up to that, that vulnerability or toying with the idea in their mind and trying to understand. And it's also interesting, especially the fee ling, like having all these emotions, it's also being able to feel them, kind of be aware of what you 're feeling. And then also you can step outside of that and kind of look at it from a different per per spective, like objectively.
Then I think that can be applied to basically anything in life and, and even with freediving, in terms of not letting certain emotions overcome you, it's like realizing that they're there. Saying, okay, i feel sad, I feel angry, I feel happy. I feel like, you know, elated, but also not. Or like, especially if you're feeling angry or sad about something, you feel it, it's okay to feel sad. Feel that be angry, be sad, cry if you need to.
Connect with the feeling.
And then step outside of yourself and kind of think, okay, why am I feeling this emotion? What's the point of feeling this emotion? And feel it and just kind of like, let it go. And I think it helps to overcome a lot of things and kind of like detach , like separate, not detach, but like separate those kinds of things. And then you can kind of think in a more logical sense, but also emotionally, you know?
So we went into so many different things. I love it. We talked about like selfishness and freediving, how do you balance it out, we talked about relationships and I really appreciate your point of view on being an athlete, being a record holder, being a mother and balancing these different things. And I think a lot of people can take away some big messages from that, you know, because it's not easy and you're doing it. And you're doing it successfully and you're doing it with the right intent.
You're doing it acknowledging it's a team effort. If it wasn't for my community a nd my family, I maybe wouldn't be able to do this and I'm the best role model for my kids. And I can't wait to travel with them and bring ' em on competitions, and have them see me do this thing. That's different than most mothers do. I t's cool. You know w hat I mean? It's like listen to any mother that's in any sport at the top of their game, it's interesting. There's a lot of Ted talks on that.
U m, very famous climbers, very famous triathletes... How they balance these different things in life, but how they actually make it work. It gives people different perspective.
Yeah, I think that's the key in all of this is trying to find the right balance. And I don't think it's just with mothers, but I think any, anybody, no matter what they're doing, trying to find the right balance of basically creating this homeostatic life. And I think it's, it's a constant constant journey and the, because our lives are constantly changing, we're evolving and we have to constantly reevaluate that and find out what works for us.
It's interesting and it's fun and it's interesting talking to different people and learning from other people and their experiences as well, and like you as well, because we're all on our own journey.
Yeah , absolutely. And let's say let's, let's end it with, what advice would you give to someone who's falling in love with the game, wants to go for it, either is really intending on having children or already has children, but doesn't want to give up this, this journey they're on. Doesn't want to give this, give up this discovery that they've made maybe at a later point in their life , they're already a mother let's say, or a father and they want to pursue this.
What advice would you give them in terms of like, "man, you can do both, you can be both just like you gotta have certain things dialed in".
I think that if, if you have kids or if you don't have kids and that's something that you want, I would say, well, i'm a firm believer in, if there's something that you wanna do, you can do it. And if it's something that you really wanna do, regardless of what obstacles you face , you'll find a way. And I think community, friendship is really important. And having a really good support system, because if you don't have a support system, then it's not gonna work.
Financially, socially.
Yeah . But also trusting and believing in yourself, I think are really, really important. And I think anything can be done with kids or wanting to have kids in the future. It's gonna be different for everybody. Cuz everybody's situations, life situations are very different. But like I said, if it's something that you really want to do, you'll find a way. And it's kind of cool and interesting because maybe sometimes people might feel alone, especially mothers.
And especially single mothers which is the most difficult place to be in sometimes. But it's kind of amazing when you start to meet people and develop that community, how many people are super supportive and will come, will be there to like help you and especially in the freediving community and because you have other mothers who compete, they also understand like what you're going through, other mothers or fathers, I mean, who are doing crazy things. I mean, look at Alexey.
True .
He has kids as well. Um , but yeah, I think that there's always a way, so I think if somebody wants to do something, they should follow that. And just take the right steps that you need to do to make that happen and figure it , figure it out.
No, absolutely honestly, we know many people in this community and uh , without having to name names, we know that there's definitely some , um, close friends in this community that are single mothers and they are struggling with this, you know, they're struggling with raising a child on their own but at the same time, continuing this , this career, continuing this path. And uh, this is , you know, it's really powerful advice.
It's very motivational for these people that like, no, you don't have to give up, you just need to have the right things in place, have the right community, have the right support systems and u h, a nd you c an do it of course. And it's very empowering and it's, t hat's very beautiful, you know. And as a man, I can't begin to put myself in your shoes, but I can help you pass on the message.
Well, thanks. Yeah, my pleasure. Thank you. It was awesome talking to you about all these things , um, really getting in there, deep.
Yeah, I know, right? That's what I love about it.
Pun intended!
Yeah, exactly. Just get in there right away. You know, a lot of podcasts, they're just like, oh , blah, blah, blah, blah , blah. I knew you were a very interesting person. I didn't know much about you. I knew that you'd done some pretty cool stuff. And I think , uh, this, this topic is just, it's just something that we need to talk more about. And I don't hear it being talked about often. I don't know why. Um , maybe I'm just not in tune.
Maybe I'm not listening maybe , but , um, I think it's relationships acknowledging, um, our own selfishness in freediving and also being a mother in freediving a nd being a professional athlete and being a mother. I's a really, really interesting, uh, really interesting themes.
Yeah. I think people, sometimes it's hard for people to talk about really personal things. Again, it goes back to the whole idea of vulnerability, you know, not everybody wants to put themselves in a vulnerable position. Maybe it's , um, being afraid of what other people are gonna say or think, and, or maybe they might feel judged for exposing that, you know?
But I think it's good to be able to talk about it and, and be real about who we are and the things that we do and that we're all on our own journey, you know? And I think by talking about it, that's also another way allows us to be able to support one another.
Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. And , I know for me, like it's not something I think about all the time, but from time to time, I'll think about, "oh, what's next, what do I want in my life? Do I want kids , how am I gonna balance this or this freediving thing"? And then , " uh , oh , I'm not sure. Uh , there's all these doubts". And then I see someone like you , uh, and, and you're like, "no chill, it's good. It's doable. It's that simple". The message can be that short and simple.
You can do it.
"Just relax. It's it's not as complicated as you think it is. I'm doing it". And then that's like, oh , relieves the stress. Okay, cool. That option. I'm not saying I want necessarily to have kids right now, and I'm not saying like, I know what I'll be doing in the next five years, but the fact that that option is now less stressful. The fact that I could see someone in this community and is like, "Hey, chill out. It's there's not that much of a difference. Okay . You can continue and have kids.
Um, it's okay. It's doable. It's doable. It's doable. It's feasible". That for someone like me and I know other people as well, it's like , it takes the stress off, like, wow, I have those options. I can continue to be single and not have a family, which is also fine. Or if I wanna be a father and have a family, I can go down that path too. And I can continue doing the things I love in life.
Absolutely.
I don't have to restrict myself. So I think it's those mental restrictions that we create, like, because of the social constructs and when someone like you comes along and is like, "yo , um, American national record holder, and been going to the vertical blue , been traveling, going to cash world championships, and I'm a mother of two kids and I make it work. How tough is your situation"? You know what I mean? I think it gives perspective. So thank you for that Enchante.
Thank you!
Awesome. The alchemy podcast is supported and sponsored by alchemy. They are always on the forefront of researching and developing new products. Uh, their latest product, the alchemy neck weight is one I'm a huge fan of, and many other free divers are also really enjoying its use. So a big shout out to alchemy and thank you for supporting this podcast.