Tag. You"re It.

the guy. He's coming to get me at six. I got a night flight. I got the good seat, you know, I got extra room, the whole thing. And hopefully this spirit flight will go on fine, because what I need right now is calm, because I don't have that right now. I uh, just check the bank account, right I went on the the app to be of a app, and I'm like, let me check what the fuck is going on? And one of my accounts is minus twenty one hundred dollars in ninety nine. So I called the wife, what's

going on? What happened? What do you mean? You tell me what the fuck we paid? I gave you money to pay the rent? Why is it? What happened? Oh? I don't want to hear this from you? Why you know I knew you'd do this? You know I do what Three days ago? I gave you the money for rent? And why is it now minus twenty one nine? What happened? And you have no idea? Guys? I just get I get the argument. I don't want to argue with you. I don't think you're in your right mind. It's the

whole thing. It's everything I ever heard, and I go bananas, and I'm trying to stay calm. I'm like, Lola, listen, there's a real that you have to call the bank and figure out what the fuck happened?

you could stay there whenever the fuck you want. I'm gonna be in Vegas for you know, nine ten days in mid May. Don't worry about it. I'm doing all I can to be the good guy. Like, what do you need? You need to be? You need money, I'll take care of everything. Don't worry. And I get shipped on, I get yelled at shit on, talk down to it. I don't know, fellas, I don't know what the fuck to tell you. I don't know. I know this is another fireside chat show. It really is. It's one of

those shows. Pull up a fucking chair. We're gonna talk about things. But you know what, what did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? Here's the money, Peter Rent got it done? Why we minus twenty more? I don't know when I did nothing? Well, well, I don't know why. I don't want to be yelled at you know what, you want to be strangled because that's the next option, strangulation. Fucking unbelievable. It's only money, right, Who cares? It's only money, hippy? I O kye. I mean, I'm leaving in a I

don't know what, four hours, five hours. I don't want to go, like I told you yesterday, but I gotta go. I gotta get the fuck out of here with the real id situation. I'm read. You know I'm reading, uh, Julia Roberts. You know I'm not going to get into too much of the the the puffy thing and the uh, the whole big met galla bullshit. I mean, god, damn Sydney Sweety looked amazing. There's some girls who look wonderful.

Pam Anderson the worst, the worst. She's gotta stop being this person with the bowl hair cut and no makeup. She looks like my acid reverse. It doesn't work enough enough with people saying she's naturally beautiful. No, no, she's not. You know what, She's not with anybody, No man finds her naturally beautiful. Excuse me. She used to be the hottest thing on two feet, and now what happened? No one's around her, So stop with the naturally beautiful horseshit,

Julia Robins, this is why we hate Hollywood. You ready. Julia Robits talked about you know, getting older and why she looks older and uh, you know, and wants to keep looking young like we all do. And she said, I'm aging with dignity, humor and serenity. What does that mean? You're aging with humor. I don't resort to lifting or boat dogs that I know by Hollywood standards. I'm asking, I'm risking my career if they don't want to give me a role because I look old. It means I

produce the project that I choose who I want. The important thing is not to take this job too serious. Wow, I know lots of moms struggling to make ends meet. Oh bullshit, No you don't. You don't have any You have no friends who are worried about paycheck to paycheck. Bullshit artists, those are the serious problems. Those the women. I admire your ass. You don't know anybody like that.

These women are beautiful and good even when everything is hard. Honestly, I have other fears, and she goes our fear for my children that I cannot protect them from anyone who wants to take advantage of them. What the fuck does that even mean? Who's trying to take advantage of Julia Roberts's children? What does that even mean? It's more important for me to be well and make my family live well. I'm blessed, first of all. Whenever you say that to me,

I'm going, don't ever tell me you're blessed. I can't hear it. I'm blessed, and I appreciate all that I have. I'm thankful for my husband and kids every day for this reason. For me, the most important moments of the day are never the ones I spend on set, but the ones I have at breakfast because we talk about everything. Bullshit, it's a magical moment. It's a lie. It's a lie. How beautiful is to be planted in the earth and live to the fullest without the frivolity of market? Do

you understand the Everything she's saying is horseshit. It's horseshit. I don't know how many guys, how many people out there watched Julia Roberts speaking about how difficult things are and how much she understands us I mean, I mean guys, she gets us. Let's give her a break. The fuck. I can't stand these people. I can't and I don't even know why they think it's okay to make these statements like I feel. I I want to tell them if I was their publicist, don't no, no, don't no,

don't don't say nothing. What do you mean? No? No, no, it's gonna look bad. Don't say anything about your age, your job, your money. You're a fucking multi millionaire, you live on big ranches. You can't talk to people this way, you think? So? Yeah, I know, so, Oh my god, pull up a chair. Show I was listening to, Uh, who was it? It was? Uh? Was it the SmartLess podcast? When they had Christina Applegate and uh the chick from

the Sopranos Meadow Soprano. It was just it was it was tough to listen to because they both have MS and they're talking about their ms, and you know, it's, uh, man, it's awful. Was it was it? Am I crazy? Was it not SmartLess? Hal It? No? That was Pam Abdy and Michael DeLuca, which I'll get to. It was I don't know. Some other show I listened to, Who the hell does Colin O'Brien. It was Coleman and Colnor is

the best. And he sat those girls talked to him about what they went, what they go through and what they feel and oh man, it's horrifying to think what they go through. It really is. You know. There was a time when I used to hang out with Ed O'Neill and oh he was let me tell you, some cheap motherfucker. Ed O'Neil. He didn't get. We used to go to Matos in Westwood, California, and he would we go with three four guys, you know, and get the

pot roast on Wednesdays. That was the big thing Wednesdays, pot well love and he would like, okay when the bill came, well, I only had a coffee and a don't it like you, Ed, are you kidding me? You just signed a deal for one hundred and fifty million dollars but you what, Oh, no, no no problem. Here here is here's fifty dollars like. I couldn't believe he would be that way, and I love He was a

great conversationalist. He talked about loving to be in Canada because he said that the best hookers were in Toronto. He loved the hookers in Toronto. And he also mess Uh made a statement that he was with Christina Applegate

when she was young. He told me that, I know it's it's weird to think it's weird to look at you go really, you know, that's but you know he was at least he said he was so Christina Applegan it's on Colin o'bien with the I keep calling a metal soprano because that's you know, that's who she is in my head, and they both have the ms, and you know, it's just terrible how Christina, who has such a great show, called dead to me on Netflix, and how it just began with her feet, her toes being numb,

you know. Then her feet werenowned, then her ankles and her shins, and she didn't know what to do. She wouldn't tell anybody though, because she was nervous. Same thing happened to Meto soprano Jamie Lynn Sigler. I just keep calling it netto but yeah, Jamie Lynn, same thing, and she admitted it to somebody on set in the third season, I believe of sopranos, and they said, don't don't tell anybody, don't you got to keep this quiet. You know, that's the fear, like, oh my god, I'm not horrible. I

They're not gonna want me back because I'm sick. Yeah, that's fucking Hollywood. So she kept quiet, but she felt the same symptoms. Numb toes, numb feet, couldn't stand. You know, she needed a day or two to work, and you know, she made up an excuse of why she was feeling the way. Same thing with Christina, but Christina's people knew

that she was dealing with that horrible illness. And you gotta go watch Dead to Me because Christina Applegate does her best work ever in the face of this awful illness. I'm telling you, man, it's a great show. She's so funny, and she she just took it on the chin and said, I can I can get through this. I'll work through this.

Love people like that. You know, when I was a kid and we played flashlight tag around the neighborhood, the culdest Axe and all the neighbors would be fine with us hiding in the yard and you know, laying in their bushes. They didn't care. We had a good neighborhood. And I was like fourteen fifteen, You know just I'd already had sex with my girlfriend Debbie. But you know, Horney,

it's crazy. My hormones are raging. So now it's flashlight deck and it's nighttime and we're going out to different areas. What bushes were hiding behind and where we're gonna And I would hide with my neighbor, Yvonne Risito was. I liked her sister, Debbie risitol Better, who had my birthday June second. Who that's the person who said to me, I want to lose my virginity to you, you know, when she was eighteen, but before that it was Yvonne.

She was my age. We had the same classes. We you know, we had the same teachers, and you know, when you're young, fourteen, fifteen, you're just trying to get what you can get while you can get it. And I remember I would say to Yvonne, let's go to this person's house and hide behind these bushes and no one's gonna find us. And I did such a stupid thing. But I mean, I'm just you know, guys are dumb. We don't know what the fuck to do with kids.

And I remember like putting my knuckle in her back, you know, like, and she would arch her back and her breasts would come up, and then I would grab them and start to make out with her. It's I mean, I know it's stupid, but it worked. And we would make out of the bushes, you know, we would just do this thing. And and if I developed MS, like not too long after that horrible you know, she come over to the house to the pool with Rosalie and Jack,

and you know she couldn't walk right. Just you know what I always tell you guys, and I'm gonna tell you till today I die. You don't You don't even know. Things happen so fast. Life just oh my god, these fucking people. Things happen and you have nothing to do. You have nothing to say, right, Oh you have MS? Okay, well what does that mean. It means you're in a ticking clock. You know, I'm gonna see doctors and you're going to know all these different things. That makes life

really terrible and miserable for you. It's awful. But I here's what I used to do. What I when I found that out she had MS. I don't even know if this is I don't whatever the fuck me? My buddy Ronnie and Freddie. We used to go to a Good Samaritan hospital which was around the corner, and back in the day, there were young girls called candy stripers. Right. They would they would wheel their carts with books, magazines

and candy into each room. And you know, the person in the room was, oh, I like a candy, I like a magazine. And you know that's how they okay, you know, and they and they were always cute, the candy stripers. And me, Ronnie and Freddie, we were we love the candy strippers. But we loved to hang out a Good Samaritan hospital so stupid we used to eat in the cafeteria and I remember, I swear to God, I remember why we did it. I felt like, I

don't know, I'm drinking a milkshake in this cafeteria. Let's see all these men, mostly men, come down with their scrubs on, and you know, they were heroes. They were doctors, but they came. They were just heroes to me, and I just felt like, Wow, this is the best place to be. You know, these guys they'll never you'll you'll always be good when you when you go to a hospital because these guys have it down. Pat they'll rescue you.

You're not gonna die. I developed such a I just loved doctors and scrubs and I would sit there and just to me, they felt like heroes, like, yeah, they're doctors. And then we do do We did stupid shit. We used to steal money from the candy strappers. It was awful. We would go up and down the elevators with people who you know, we they didn't know us, and we Oh my god, we were so stupid, the three of us. But I remember thinking about those guys with the scrubs

on and going, these are the real heroes, man. They keep people alive, you know, they save people. Yeah. It uh, it made a difference in my head. And you know I'm thinking of Yvonne right now and earlier today. Well, first of all, I can't even tell you you have no I mean, I'm flying into such a fight with the wife. I don't want to deal with it. I told you about the money. I don't want to deal with it, but I'm flying into it. Earlier this afternoon, excuse me, I'm talking to an X of mine and

she doesn't want me to. I said, I won't say your name because she married she's got kids, so I'll call her Denise, but her name's not Denise. I said, Denise, you know what, it should have been you. It really should have been you. And she's like, oh, don't fucking tell me that. Now it's twenty five years later, you know, she's given me shit. She's Italian, I says, now, I know, but it should have been you. I just didn't know. I was just too crazy. I was too wild, but

it should have been you. And we were going over what she used to do and how we met. I just got me and the first wife divorced, and I'm living alone. And I would stop at seven eleven before I would go to my first job, which I didn't like, but you know, it was a publishing company and whatever, and and she looked so sexy, like she didn't even know how sexy she was. She didn't know it. She had a big red like shirt of seven to eleven shirt. But beneath that shirt, man, oh my goodness, she was

you know, she was beautiful. She didn't know she was eighteen. I'm thirty one, and I'm going, God, damn it, I gotta you know this is and you know, every few days go in and get coffee. And finally I'm like, you know, we you know, you want to get want to get together, you want to have coffee? What you know, what do you want to do? And we talked about she was in college and she had a paper to write about the movie Do the Right Thing. And I said, all right, let's well watch it. I'll write you to

paper for your college class. You'll do that, Yeah, I'll do it. And I did it. And you know, her and I had literally a fifteen year affair, like she was me. And even when she was married, she would be at our house, at Rosalie's house, you know, eating dinner with us, washing dishes, playing with the kids. Like she it didn't even matter that she was married. She was like my wife. It was so crazy because she

wasn't happy. And then she got married to the next guy, and you know, then things didn't happen, you know, because she was happier. And I was like, okay, you know, you got a guy now, I get it, no problem. And they live in a wonderful home and you know, she's she's one. But you know, we talked today about things and I don't know, guys, do you ever think you know how many of you out there think, fuck, I missed it. I missed it. That was the That was the one. God damn it, that was the one.

Do you do that? Do you do that? I do it? I do it? And that was the one. We'll call her a daish but that's not her name, but yeah, you know, and we laughed together. She's like, I can't talk about this now on this and that, And I said, well, what's what would be the problem if we got together? I can't even think about that. My daughter is my best friend. Are you crazy? No? No, no, I know. And then she goes, well, in three years she'll be gone, you know, and call it maybe then, And I'm like,

oh see, there's still a chance. There's still a chance. Why do I live like that? What's wrong with me? Really? Like? What is wrong with me that I still have these kind of stupid aspirations? Or you know, can you imagine I got Andrea that I'm you know, I love her. The wife is a pain in my ass. Try to make it work. The other one, Denise, quote unquote, I say these things too. Who lives like this? It's not easy, It's not easy. I saw a picture of Adama Cole

Smith's daughter, Danielle what's her name, Daniellen, Daniellen burkehead. She looks great. She's eighteen years old. She was at some function with her father, Larry Burkett, who I can't believe even got involved with Adam the Cole Smith. But that daughter is beautiful and she wore the same dress her mother wore years ago. And I remember when I was covering Anna Cole Spell doing gossip and I got to meet Anna Nicole and oh my, you have no idea. When Anna Cole Smith showed up in person. It was

like you never saw something so beautiful. She was beyond beautiful, just the most gorgeous face, the structure, her bone, structure, her breast, her body, she was everything. And we had the same doctor eventually, and he told me an awful story. He said, you know, you know how she died? I said, well, yeah, you know, she taking drugs. Says no, what really would happen when she had an abscess and her rectum? I

said what He said, Yeah, she wouldn't. They wouldn't treat this abscess because she was in bed all the time and she had this abscess in her rectum and that poison that's what killed her. Could you imagine this. She was one of the most beautiful women of all time. And I remember meeting her and just being like, oh my god, there's nobody like this. Crazy. It's pull up a chair Tuesday, Wednesday, whatever the fuck. I know, I gotta leave soon. I hate this. I gotta pack, I

gotta I don't like it. You know, I told you yesterday I don't like doing this, So excuse me for this show being a little off. Blah blah blah. But it is what it is. I just I hate it. I hate I hate it. I do like the fact that Donald Trump wants to open up Alcatraz. I love it. I love that he wants to do that. You know, many many, many years ago, my great uncle Happy may Own got the electric chair in Alcatraz. I think it was nineteen forty eight. Because there's some murders. He committed it,

et cetera, working for Murder Incorporated. But that always made me feel cool, like, hey, my great uncle got the chair, he got the chair at Alcatraz. And now Trump it wants to open it up, and I think it's great. Let's do it. There's there's too many assholes out there. Let's open this shit up. We need more mental hospitals, we need more jails. We got to get these people round it up. I understand it. I get it. Oh, guys, you know it's uh. Your emails have been so nice

to me. But I'm gonna I'm gonna stop this show at twenty eight minutes because they gotta get ready. I gotta pack, I gotta do all this shit, and we'll get back to the Diddy Gritty tomorrow once I'm back in Shitsville and me and Mike do our everything is a bitch, and then I'll do my fame as a bitch and we'll be back to normal, and you'll get your politics as a bitch as well. But yeah, I just wanted to bring you a show before I split. I don't know. I don't. I hate. I hate when

I have to fly. I don't like I don't I don't trust airplanes anymore. I don't like the way they I don't like that planes turn upside down the whole I don't like the whole thing. It's all scary to me. And I'm on pins and needles now and the flight is down till nine dirty, I'm already nervous. So that's it for today. It's a short show. Don't worry about it. I got the whole week to make you happy, and I will despite the fact that my wife is making

me fucking crazy and whatever. There's all always shit around me that makes me crazy. But I'll get through it. But this is why you listen, because I give you the real shit. You know. I don't pop on and act like everything's great. Everything is also hey, every good. I can't. I can't be that guy. I have to give you what's going on. And it ain't great. It's just not great. Things aren't great. Minus twenty one ninety nine night. What the fuck is that about? All Right?

I gotta go. I love you. It's this is it. This is your Daily Unfiltered Podcast. May seven, twenty twenty five. Let's just reconnoiter big word, reconnoid tomorrow where we'll be back to business. Fair enough, okay, love you so talk to you then.