My Way

it is a full moon, well sort of. She showed me a picture and she says she's not herself either. A few of you have texted me today saying the same thing. I just dragging my ass today. I didn't do politics the bitch again. Don't get mad at me. I had a lot to do today. We did relationships. I had to drive to Woodland Hill to give my fucking landlord the rent check. I hate that I'm gonna

drive to give him this check. He won't accept zell or a wire, so it's just like, come on, man, it's a you know, forty five minutes drive back and fluffs to pain in the ass. But just excuse me for being a little draggy. I didn't even feel like cooking tonight, so you know that that's not like me. I run into the kitchen to cook. I made a little chicken with peppers and onions sorocco, had a little bit of a little bowl for myself, but you know, not enough that I want to eat too much more.

And Kyote is still here. Didn't feed it, but it's making the rounds around the block like it owns the place. It's unbelievable. I don't know what's gonna happen to this thing. It must be it's gotta be eaten somewhere, must be killing cats and dogs somewhere. This is crazy. But what are you gonna do? What can you do? Know what I did today? I took the time to begin to watch the p Diddy documentary on Netflix that just just began,

just dropped today. And if you don't, I mean, look, we all know what's been going on with Diddy in his personal life and his prison sentence, et cetera. And we've seen pictures of him looking like Grady from Sanford and some with the gray hair of the gray beard that's what prison I'll do to you. Man, You don't get to get all the good stuff that you got when you were the positive sixty seventy eighty one hundred, two hundred million dollars into your bank account when he

was rising to the top. But there are never before seen videos in this in this documentary that are pretty alarming. I mean, you could see him on the phone with a lawyer, on his phone with a lawyer saying, we're losing, We're losing. We got to get better, we got to get stronger. We just going bananas. And then there's videos of him when he was younger, as he was rising up the ranks at Bad Boy Entertainment, screaming in the office about I gotta get shipped done. If I fucking

want it done, let's get done, scream a maniac. And of course there's all the stories about who got punched in the face, who got smacked in the head, even his mother. He even smacked his mother, Janice at some point. But a lot of these guys that are talking on the doc I've never heard say anything before. And it's really interesting. I got one more episode to go, I'll watch it before bed. But you know, this kid who I never liked, although I did like his music when

he started to really hit his stride. I remember being at Robert Evans's house the same day that I tell this story that Nicholson and Baty and Evans came to the door at my guest room because I had just written an email to Carra because you know, we not together so to speak, or we weren't gonna be together soon. And I didn't think it was gonna be a breakup. But Evan said, she dropped your kids, she dropped you. Trust me. I was dropped by Lana Turner and Ava

Gardner before I was twenty two. She dropped you. And Jack had the cocaine on his nose and Warm was holding a bowl of grapes. It was like I've said, the three Wise Men just at my door. And then we watched pulp fiction in the projection room, which he had a special copy of. But that same day I'm in the room and I put on I guess MTV of VH one, but All about the Benjamins came on, and man, when that video came out on him and Mace,

what you want to do? Wanted to be ballers shot called as the video was shot so great and so different, and the beat was tremendous, The song was great. You need You know, there's something that there's something very special about people who know how to make music. There's a knack for it. This is there's a certain talent that they can just hear a beat and know immediately that's the hit song. Well, that's gonna be your song that makes you forever money. Or like Jimmy Iveen told, uh,

what's your name? Uh? Gwen? Uh, what's your name? Gwen? You know what the fuck I mean? Gwen Stefani when she had a couple of songs for him and he liked him, he said, give me six more. She said, what he goes, you need at least six more songs when get in the studio and finishing. And she did, of course, and she became a huge star. But they have this knack you know. Uh, it's like that with

writers too. People if people in business have a knack for what's gonna make money, what's not gonna make money, and they can do it in in a split second. And when I showed Evans the video and Jack and Lauren were there too, and they was like, oh, this this is good this is really good. This is good, you know, And that means it affected my ears, their ears, and countless other people younger than me. And then it's just something. You know it when you hear it or

read it or see it instantly. But excuse me, I'm looking at his He had such a determination to move up the ranks, and not to draw any kind of comparison between him and I, there is none. I mean, he ascended to tremendous heights that a few people can

dream of. But I remember when I was divorced and living with Chico and Johnny Diaz and his son in our house, my house on the island, and I just I couldn't get shit rolland I was still working it for newsdays sports, and I was able to keep the house at I worked at a publishing company writing sports, high school sports and college sports at night, so I was making a living, but I knew I needed to do better, and I knew I should be writing in New York City for the Daily News or the Post

or something, and I couldn't get it done. And I just remember being in the kitchen that night telling those two guys, I'm going to sell this house. I got to get to Manhattan. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get where. I'm not gonna go to Ohio or South Carolina and work on a newspaper for twenty six thousand dollars of starting salary. I'm not doing it. I'm New York that don't want me, and they didn't doubt me, and I laid everything out, and I've told you this

stuff before. I want to live in the city. I want to live in the village. I want to be in movies. I want to I want to write books. I want to write a column. I mean, I was adamant about it. And that's the only part of the documentary that reminds reminds me of him, or reminds him of me, because there's something about that grit and determination and hustle that I don't think I would have had it if my mom and dad were still alive. I think I would have cruised a little bit slower through

life and not hit the pedal to the metal. Was hard, but I did. I got rid of everything. I did find that place in Manhattan, and we did live in the village, and I did all the things I said I was gonna do, including befriending Mickey Rourke, which happened completely by accident, but I manifested it, not to mention working with stallone and countless other things. How it's done, you name it, but that's the way did he was when he was younger, and you know, he grew up

without a father. His father was a hustler, a drug dealer out of Harlem who had brain's blown out on a shooting in Central Park West, and his mother raised him. His mother had odd jobs, including working at an after hours and serving the fella's drinks and you know, audishing out drugs to local people who wanted to get high late at night, and who knows what else she had

to do to support, you know, a kid. I don't know, but it when you grew up without a parent or two parents, or at a certain age you lose them, it could either ruin you or push you to do great things. And I think in our circumstances, of course him more than me, it motivated us and moved us to get shit done. And as sad as that is, it's also kind of glamorous to a young boy to to not have your dad or your mom not us not glamorous but there's something in there that just makes

you move. And he watched you know, and again another comparison, he grew up watching blaxploitation movies like Superfly and The Mac and Shaft, and you know, I grew up on Main Streets and The Godfather, and you know, same kind of shit. Mine was Italian gangster shit. His was blank black gangster shit. And in those movies, I think we both saw a way to become known or I don't want to say powerful in my case, but certainly in

his case. I mean, when he's on the phone with a girl facetiming some girlfriend, his last girlfriend, telling her he's going to go depositing two hundred million in the bank and he's smoking a joint in the back of a limousine, it's like, okay, he clearly made it, Jesus Christ. But as they say, like we read an Animal Farm, the only part of Animal Farm, I remember, power corrupts, but absolute power corrupts absolutely, And you know he took

that power and did bad things with it. And you know it's it was a driving force in his body and mind. Pick it up and move and in your mind you become unstoppable. But in his case, he just everything became about money and sex and power and greed. And you know, he grew up with a mother who said if you if somebody hits you, you better hit him harder. My father would tell me, if you don't throw the first punchry better throw the second or third.

And I'm a little boy going to school. My father's words would echo in my ears, and I would try to be as tough as my father. I wasn't as a young kid. I was kind of timid. You know, I got sick. I got sick when I was a young kid. Toms Tom selected me and I had this shit that happened to my teeth with this medicine called deck Lamisin, which was outlawed, but it turned my teeth like dark. It was bad. They were baby teeth. But you know, the point is, says, I don't care how

old you are. You always hear your parents' words long after they'd gone. And I'm sure he kept hearing his mother talk about if someone punches you, punch them harder. And I'm sure he thought about his dad, who was a hustler, and that's why his friends were hustles. And he hung around with people like that, and you know, kids are sometimes shaped by pain as much as there's

shape by love. Same thing with comedians. There's not many comics that are funny who had a wonderful upbringing and a sweet life, who were born wealthy or well born into a wealthy family. You don't see that too often. Most kids who were grow up to be comics who kind of pour you know, three to a bedroom, two to a bed, mom worked two or three jobs dad. You know, it's just one of those things. You find humor and eventually you find power from it and it

moves you. But this documentary really lays out the possibility that it could have been Diddy that laid out the plans to have Tupac and the Notorious Big murdered so he could have sent to the top spot. And you know, I have my theories and who pulled the trigger, etc. There's all sorts of theories out there. Who killed Tupac, who shot Biggie? But did He's fingerprints are on both of those things for sure. The East Coast West Coast

rivalry and rap was kind of manufactured. And you know, I was there for it at the Source Awards when it really kicked off and I thought guns were going to be drawn. They probably were, but no one shot, but people were packing. But yeah, you look at this documentary and his fingerprints are on it. And I remember when me and Joey, I took Joey to see did he do the tour he did after Biggie died that

hole I'll be Missing you bullshit. That song based on Prince's song Every Breath You Take, and it just didn't ring true to me. I felt like he's doing this for himself. I don't think he misses Biggie that much. I think this is all for his sake, for his pockets. It just it didn't seem real to me. And again, that's that thing I have that many other people have, that just a knack for now. I smell shit. I smell shit just like Jesse Smolett, who's still saying to

this day he was jumped. I mean, that's just a crazy bastard to still repeat this story on TV. And I think he has a special on Netflix. I don't even want to watch it or Amazon. I won't watch it. But I can't look at someone who lies like that. It's crazy. But you should check the documentary out and sheds a lot of new light, and you really get a chance to see just how beautiful Cassie is and was, and god, what he did to her in that hallway

with a towel around his waist. You know, it's one thing, and it's an awful thing to hit a woman, But if you want to, if it means you have to leave the hotel room in a towel around your waist to do it, you're fucking crazy. You're crazy, and clearly he is. And I still think he's not going to serve his full time in prison. I think he's gonna get out than maybe another year or so year in two months, that's what I think. I think there are

backroom deals going on. I think Biddy's always been somebody who's worked with the Feds and drop names on people, and I think those favors will be returned in the coming year. We'll see. But yeah, it's worth a watch.

And I got to talk about Amy Schumer again because now Amy Schumer is coming out saying that well, she's saying that nothing's wrong with her marriage, but really, if you're paying attention, there was something she said back in April of twenty twenty two on the Ellen Degenerate show, and she was basically talking about how lackluster a sex

life she had with her husband, Chris Fisher. And now they resurfaced this interview, and you know, there was a lot of awkward silence in the room in the audience because she said, you know, when you're married, it's hard to have sex when you're married. Who the fuck ever said that? Okay, because like that's your family, you know what I mean. Not many people knew what you meant. She goes, like, that's my emergency contact. I guess you thought that was a funny joke. I'm not gonna just

have sex with them. That's disgusting. And you can't really talk dirty anymore if you're married, because he knows me too well. I can't be like, I'm gonna do this to you. And he would say, no, you're not. Your back hurts. You're not gonna do that to me. You know, we're not gonna have sex that way. It just look like a very sad way to talk about a marriage.

And that was a few years ago. And of course she said we did a lot of role playing, because well, she said role playing, I always picked the same role. I always go Okay, I'm gonna be in a coma, and then she'd lay down and just be unresponsive. Well, who the hell wants to have sex with that that's even true? But of course, yes, the other day I mentioned they had to schedule sex, and you know, all we have were kids. We have to seki. No, you know,

we had sex with our kids in the bed. If there's a will as a way, you got to be quieter. You know. One time Roxy was in the bed with us. She was like two, and she woke up in the middle of it and she put her hand in my face and said, no, Daddy, No. She knew something was going on that was a little different, but she couldn't know what really was happening, but she just knew this is not typical. Maybe I was wrestling mommy, I don't know, but yeah, to do to talk about we have birthday

sex on birthdays and adversary. Come on, nobody survives marriages like that, or if you do, you just kind of you're playing out the string. And she said, there's never like a vibe where it just happens. Do people do that? Oh my god? Just asking that question or to tell you everything you need to know, about this marriage but obviously divorced. Speculation is swirling around them. Not only she slimmed down and I hate to say it looking good.

I hate to say it, but she does. But who the fuck takes pictures of themselves in a yellow dress on their staircase like she did. I'm sure they weren't professionally shot, but they might as well have been. But did her husband shoot those pictures? I don't know. But she's all splayed out on the step. Could you imagine all mother's doing this? Hey han, hey han, asking your father take a picture of me on the stairwell. I want I want to wear this yellow dress and look

good for it. It's so, it's such a different world. We grew up with such different better people. I'm driving back for the landlord today and I'm at a red light and in front of me he's a guy on a bike. I didn't know it was. A guy had a long pony table with about five different rubber bands in it. It went down to halfway down his back, and he had a little faggy bike helmet on. I'll never get overseeing a man with a bike helmet. I just I can't. I know it's soon you should do it.

But come on, I'd rather not ride a bike and put a helmet on and elbow pads. What am I playing? Football? Guy? It's a bike ride. But all of a sudden, he just puts his fingers in his ears. I'm like, what the fuck's he doing? Because I had the music on it, so I loaded music. There was an ambulance coming, and the sound of the ambulance was too loud for this man's ears. He had to plug them up. These are

the men that are out there now. These are the men that possibly take pictures of their wife on the stairwell for Instagram likes and hits. But she's I don't care what she says. By the way, she wasn't wearing her wedding ring in the pictures. And you would think, if your husband has taken the picture, or your husband's gonna see it, that'd be the first thing I say, which right, where's your rent? But a guy like him is gonna say that because he's a pussy. I'm not

gonna put his foot down. Shares all the money. I don't even know what the hell he does. But she's the money and she makes a good living. But she's very skinny now, and she's trying to tell people no, no, even though I deleted Chris from Instagram, you know, and I got this thin. I got this thin because I was very ill with this disease she had that made her face chubby. And she said that's been fixed through medication and her undemetriosis is better. Blah blah blah, you

know the rest. And I tried thozempic, but that's not why I did it to get thin. Bullshit. Why can't they just cop to it? Who would be mad if they cop to it? Look, whatever you're suffering from in life and being overweight and out of shape and unhealthy is kind of just as bad as walking around with an illness if you don't treat it. So is there's a magic pill or a dejection to take Who's gonna tell you? Don't take it? Take it? Get better, feel better,

look better. Life is short, man, So she's trying to convince everybody that we're fine. She put up a new post of her son, which this is weird. Her son is giving a tour of his room and his toys, and she wrote a long thing on her Instagram post saying how happy they are and this is why I did this, and this is why I lost weight, and this don't believe a fucking word of it. They were all hypocrite lawyers in Hollywood, all of them, most of them just like Ariana Grande. You know, this chick is

looks so puny and anorexic. It's like when we were kids. Remember there used to be a fund for people in Biafra. I don't even know what that is. There's still there's no more Biafra. Right What part of Africa was Biafra? I don't know. I don't know, but there was Like you'd see commercials as kids with these little black kids would flies on their face and drinking dirty water and people will give me money to me, that's the kind

of body she has, Arianna. And she's a beautiful girl, multi talented, and I think the people there's a conspiracy out there that the people who work on Wicked, something really weird happened to her. At Cynthia Arriva. They look completely different than they did before they made Wicked. The Two Wickeds, I hate to say the second movie is doing well, but it is, which shocks me. But Aria is getting mad at people don't talk to me about

my weight. I can look how I want to look. No, honey, no, And that's why you're not going to be with that ginger boy too much longer. That's about to end to all these people. It's so easy to go with the under in Hollywood marriages. You know, they say NFL running backs career is an average of three to four years. Maybe I think every NFL player the average is like four years. So that's why when they get that pay the big money, you go, well, look at it's got

to last many many years. Because they don't. They don't. They break down, Well, they get injured very bad. Then they got to leave the league. Well, show biz doesn't run you down. There's always a big deal, a new hit song, a new record, a new movie, a TV show. Arianna is going to work for the next forty fifty years. But don't fucking tell me. And getting back to men, Look,

I gotta say this. I know Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey are getting married, and you know, they're big and and she's using her big mansion was it Rhode Island, you know, and they're putting she's putting a million dollars into renovations to make the backyard and the house. You know, beautiful landscaping and god knows how many roses and flowers that are gonna be. It's gonna beautiful, don't get me wrong. But this whole thing about her, her friend Ed Shearing,

there's such close friends Ed Shearing. I don't want to hear she is to Ed Sheeran anymore. I don't. And by the way, everything I said about the Kansas City Chief's getting worse because of the Travis and tell Us of being together. I was completely right. They're now six and six, probably not gonna make the playoffs. Mahomes is playing like dirt. Kelsey's not Kelsey. I mean, this is his last year, But I was right. It's a slow, steady breakdown and I think his head's not in the game.

And it's hard to win that many years in a row to begin with. But this whole New Taylor Swift thing, Boy, the NFL is gonna hate this when he retires and she's no longer read football stadiums watching him play. They could have gotten a sing of the fucking Super Bowl. I wish you would have said yes instead of bad Bunny. In fact, Bad Buddy turned up in that movie I

saw the other night. Can't stand when that happens. I can't stand when he just put somebody in a movie nowadays because they have a big presence on social media. Not that they've never acted before, but you know they've got twenty five million followers. Put him in a movie. I can't stand it. But I don't. You know. Look, if I'm Travis Kelcey, I have to lower the boom and enough with the friendship with Ed Shearing? Can we can we can we tone that down? Okay? You know

you don't need to do this. Women have to understand this. When when you meet a man that loves you hard, you got to get rid of your little fag email friends. You have to do it. No man is cool with that. Oh we just we go shopping now, don't don't. Oh he helped me pick out a dress and I'll pick I'll help you pick a dress out of Just go on to your girlfriends. Don't take your little queer friend around. Not that Ed Shearer is gay, but it's the same

kind of thing. You're a woman, you know what you like. Go buy a dress, you know, and by the way, when your world famous, the dresses come to you but you got to stop with that, having these very feminine male friends, like the guys who ride bikes with helmets and elbow pants and put their fingers in their fucking ears because an ambulance is coming by Christ. You cannot out for male friends either. Basically, when you're married, you can't have male friends straight or faye, you can't. It's over.

You could be friendly, but there will not be any friendship dinners or drinks. So that kind of bullshit now that's out. And you could bet once they're married, you're not gonna hear stories about Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift much. I don't believe it. And if you do, that means Travis Kelcey is a little light in the feet too, because I would never permit that. Tell me I'm wrong.

What happened to me? You know, talking about Paul Anchor today on Relationships as a Bitch and the fact that he was interviewed by page six and I heard I'd always heard that Frank Sinatra was hung well because his wife Ava Gardner had mentioned that. I mean, when I Earl says that in print, boy, does that make a man feel like a million bucks? Ava Gardner at one point said Frank was skinny, but he had a nineteen pound penis, and you know, I mean, I know it

wasn't nineteen pounds, but it's great. It's a great story because Paul Anka said that. Well, first of all, the point of the story was that they asked him how he wrote My Way that became Frank Sinatra's signature song. He was a twenty four year old kid in France. He was already established as a singer and a performer.

But he heard the French version of this song, or at least the melody of this song, and he bought the rights to it, and then he went home and wrote the lyrics and he presented it to Sinatra twenty four years old. Sinatra's career was on the downswing. He was going to retire. I mean, Frank was in bad shape. My Way propelled his career another twenty five thirty years, because you know, rock and roll was in, and the Beatles and Elvis and the Rolling Stones and the Cruders

were not what they used to be. But it just goes to show how, like I said the other day, that kid who wrote the song the moody blues song nineteen years old to write knights in white Satin. That's a special kind of person. That's the kind of person I was talking about at the top of the show. You know a hit when you hear it. Paul Ankor heard something in that French song which I can't pronounce, and knew, I'm gonna put lyrics this and I'm gonna

give the Sinatra. And when Sinatra got it, he sang it in the studio and he put the phone to the speaker so Anka could hear it. He said, listen to this kid, and Paul Anker heard his record, Frank Sinatra's recording of his song that he wrote, and he cried. And another guy that I always forget his last name, Libaiman, the great producer who who did Ocean's eleven and Karate Kid, the terrific guy, the guy who ended up living with his wife and his girlfriend in the same fucking house

in Palm Springs. He somehow managed to do it. But terrific guy. He got a great book that I read a couple of times. But he was also a young guy who had gumption that, like I again, I'll go to the top of the show, what motivated him to do what he did, Like Puffy did, or to a lesser degree what I did. He just knew that he could help Sinatra, and he got in his ear and Frank was down and out drinking all day, you know,

just miserable. And the kid on the spot came up with this idea that look, oh no, no, no, we're going to do the put on a concert. Let me manage you. We're gonna do it in my the square garden inside a boxing ring where all the great champions were there, and you're gonna sing this and that, and they got Howard Cosella to announce it. Frank Sinatra took pictures for Life magazine. I'm not sorry, not Frank's. That was for

a different fight. Frank Satra was singing that night, but all the biggest movie stars in the world were at this we're at this show, and you know, just young kids. But basically getting back to Frank Sinatra's penis, he uh. Paul Ankas said they would take saunas together a lot when they became friends and worked together, and he said he can never make really eye contact with Frank because of what he saw down below when his towel would open up, and yeah, that's that's that's somehow of the story.

And it reminds me of the great Milton Burrell, who was always rumored to have or not rumored everybody. Even Milton Berle himself told me the one time I sat down with him at Ago and he told me, you're my favorite TV host. I almost shit because when mister Television tells you you're my favorite TV host, you you know it's a rap. Let me, that's it called a rap. I did it. But he sent me a headshot and he made a reference to the headshot being as big

as his penis. But there was back in the day whenever he went out, a lot of guys would want to challenge him. Guys get loaded at bars or restaurants. They think they have a bigger penis than Milton, and a lot of guys would come up to him and challenge him. And it got to a point where Milton's friends would say, hey, Milton, just take out enough to beat him. Let him go home not too unhappy with himself. And that's what he would do, I think, But that

was what was said. Men and they're fascination with penises. It's never going to go away. It's never going to go away. Somebody brought this to my attention today and I want to do more investigation, but I really think it's true. Not somebody but John Monteforte on Patriot, one of my patrons, sent me something and it really, I'm telling you, it makes so much sense. It said men did greater things when it was harder to see boobs.

How wonderfully on I don't know who said it, I don't know where it was written, but how perfect is that? Think about what was accomplished all those years and it was so tough to see a naked woman when all you could do is maybe you get a Playboy magazine or some other smutty magazine in a store where you have to kind of put it in a brown bag and hide it from the wife of the kids and put it out of your mattress. And now everything's that your favorite tips, you can see whatever you want doing

who knows what, who knows where? Who knows when it's gotten to the point where it's changed men and it's changed women. Case in point, you just go on Instagram and depending on your algorithm, My god, they're all out. They're showing their wares, beckoning men on underneath their name is their Venmo information. You know we're us send them money. Were their only fans link. It's it's harder to work, it's harder to concentrate because most men, a lot of

men have sex on the mind. Not Amy Schumer's husband, that's for sure. But Frank did and Ava Gardner did, and under it with this. I always loved it after he after they broke up, because she said we had the most amazing sex, but the men of the sex was although we'd have the biggest fights ever. As soon as one of us got up to use the bathroom, a fight would start and there were ten rounders. Both were very fiery, hard drinkers too. Ava could drink as well.

But there was a restaurant, I think it was Chasen's that had a big picture of Frank hanging up, and every time time she went there, she always stopped at the picture and rubbed it and said, my guy, not sweet, chokes me up because of the fucking moon. God, I'm a mass I'm sorry, I don't know. I'll get over.

It can't be a full moon forever, right anyho. Gang a show a little bit on the short side, but that's the way today is going to be tomorrow the back of the horse and fulfill my duties to give you a pia B and an FIAB and maybe the next day we'll do it. Everything is a bitch with Mike, but stick around, don't go anywhere, and by all means,

go to aj beens a dot substat dot com. I published a story called the four A M Girl, which is about basically the women who come for booty calls, not nowadays, but back when when I was younger, and I think a lot of men and some women out there can understand exactly what I'm talking about. So there we go back to penises again in sex. What can I tell you? I guess I'm sad and horny. I

don't know. You tell me that's it, gang, I love you is thanks for being patient on paa B. You'll get it and I'll probably make it a long one because you deserve it. Until then, I'm aj Ben. So that was your daily Unfiltered podcast for December third, twenty twenty five. We'll talk again tomorrow.