Gangster's Paradise

of in a malaise. I gotta be honest with you. I don't know. I'm not gonna make a habit of it, but something if you saw me, I haven't shaved in about a week and a half, I look beastly. I did look in the mirror today, which I rarely do, and I was like, Jesus Christ, AJ cleaning yourself up. My god, I'll get there. I'll do it. But you know, we always talk about death coming in threes. We lost

Katherine O'Hara. Great, what a funny actress. She was such a fan of us on SCTV back in the day with Eugene Levy and John Candy and all those other folks. And then on the studio with Seth Rogen Great and Shit's Creak with Eugene lef What a great show that was to get in a lot of years. Just amazing. Loved her, loved her. She just her face alone would make me laugh without even saying anything. I would just laugh looking at her face. So we lose her, I

would imagine we're losing Savannah Guthrie's mother. That doesn't seem good. I think unless something broke just now, taken from her house, taken from being asleep, it's not good. I'm sure she's dead. That's two. And then it got the great Chuck Negron, one of the co founders of the rock band Three Dog Knight eighty three years old, lived a long life, was sick for many years. He also has one of the best memoirs to ever read about how crazy his life was with drugs and alcohol and women. It's an

amazing read. But yeah, he died in studio City, Shitsville, right around the corner from me. Heart failure in the months leading up to his death chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Jesus Christ, there's so much shit out there that people suffer from. I can't take it. But I remember being in the sixth grade in chorus, or some people called the glee club. But yeah, I went off. I sang in chorus and the song we sang for our parents at the auditorium was joy to the World. I mean as a kid to say.

five girls and a boy. So there was plenty of things to do and play, and a lot of times we just sat in their van. They had this like camper van. They were going road trips and we would sit in the van and make believe we're on a road trip. We were young, ten eleven years old, and and then the flashlight tag and and kickball, and we did everything together. And I remember when that song came out, Mama told me not to come. We couldn't get to

the radio quick enough to turn it on. Those lyrics, want some whiskey in your water, sugar in your tea? What's all these crazy questions you're asking me?

often because they cared about me. Hey, man, you got you got a second shot. Motherfucker, go home, man, go home, bitch. I wanted to be here with these dangss. Motherfucker, I want to be here now. No man got to fuck home. Man, go be with your wife. Nigga. Good guys. I can't say bad things about them. They did bad things, but then again, so have I. Well, we're gonna do judge everybody right now. But if you did bad things, that's just life. Things happened. Dobi and mouse my two after

hours buddies. They're both gone. And I remember a mouse Trap was on Sweet Sir and Third Street, and uh, if there was a yellow light on, that meant it was open, and you had to go around the corner and go through the gate and he would let you in, or he'd stand outside of the street with his dodger jacket on, his blue satin dodger jacket and his ball cap. He was like six six. Mouse Trap he played college basketball,

and uh, I would get in there first. I made it my I made it my point to get there first every night, two o'clock on the on the button, and I just had to run to the jukebox and play all that great all those great songs I learned from Soul Train. No American bandstand not when you're unhappy. When you're unhappy today, the things I've happened, we're to drop shot the fuck up. I want soul trade. That was the ship sitting in front of my TV eating Dorito's.

Remember Dorito The first flavor with Dorito's was taco flavor. They kind of brought it back recently. Dorito's and a big jug of Deer Park spring water. Why I don't know, but I remember I'd eat so many Doritos I get. The bottle had like my mouth prints on it of Dorrito juice or Doriedo dust. It was my water. No one else drank it, but man, I couldn't get enough of that shit. The dance, the dancing, and it's a great time, What a great time to be alive. But yeah,

maybe this is the third one. I don't know. Chuck, Katherine O'Hara and Savannah Guthrie's bomb. Huh. Anyhow, let's talk a little bit about this whole thing with Jeffrey Epstein. I can't believe there was three million more paint. I mean, I can't believe there's this much junk on this guy. And now we see an email where he's talking to the one of the New York Giants owners, Steve Tish, about a woman and Tish is asking him does the girls describe as a Tahitian named Emily? And Steve Tish

is wondering is she a working girl all right? Or is she just fun? And there's some pretty interview. There's some emails that don't look good. Is my president in New York City? That's what he sent to Epstein. Can I get my surprise to take me to lunch tomorrow? We had a brief association where we exchange emails about adult women, Tis said, and in addition we discussed movies, philanthropy, and investments. I did not take him up on any

of his invitations and never went to his island. As we all know now, he was a terrible person, and some of I deeply regret associating with these guys. Don't regret it. They don't regret it. They had a fucking ball with this guy. This guy supplied them with girls. Don't let me say the P word. He gave them girls. And you know, I'm sure Tish was married and looked down upon to cheat, and it's this is bad, This

is really bad. Tish offered Epstein two tickets to his suite for a New York Giants game and also an invitation to his Caribbean island. He says he didn't go. I think we can check those check those notes, but uh, this is this is not a good thing. NFL owners are subject to you Personal Conduct Policy, and it states that an owner and club or league management have traditionally been held to a higher standard and will be subject

to more significant discipline when violations of the Personal Content Policy. Car. I think we all signed those agreements when we get jobs. We just don't realize what we're signing. But yeah, there's moral codes that you have to adhere to. But I gotta tell you, we're supposed to trust at the end of is gonna do a better job investigating Jeffrey Epstein? Really, I mean it's been a decade. It's been a decade, and the FBI hasn't charged a single client. You get

the point, nothing's gonna happen. There's too many powerful people involved. If one Domino falls, the other five hundred Domino's got a fall. Well, the next five thousand Domino's got a fall. It's you're never gonna hear about it. And don't talk to me about Trump. At Emstein, he didn't like the fucking guy for a minute. Yeah, he was at mar A Lago. They got along, and then Trump just turned the blind eye to him because he didn't like the way he was acting to the women in mar Alago.

And I'm sick of people say, Oh Trump what. I hope he sues Trevor Noah from the Grammys for saying that Trump needs to go to Greenland because he can't go to Jeffrey IF's Island anymore. I hope he sues that bastard can't stand Trevor Noah, can't stand the Grammys. Snooty fucks, snooty fucks who think they're better than us, and they're not. They're not justin be his goddamn underwear.

What the hell you know? Back in the day, in the eighties and early nineties, it's talking about Michael Jackson, Tina Turner, Lionel, Ritchie, Aerosmith, so many great bands and people who made their mark on the world. Now, what the fuck are we getting? Bad? Bunny and these I can't stand Chapel rowing in the stupid dress. It's not the same. I don't want to watch these shows anymore. I don't want to watch they used to be classy. Even the oscars have turned into shit. I don't like it.

But it doesn't sound good, and morally it's ugly either way. But legally one version is not good and the other is undoubtedly well, it's gonna be life changingly bad. You know. Look, if it's adult women and it's not prostitution, then okay, a little shady but legal. Even if it is prostitution with adult women, chances are that the statue of limitations has run out. And even if it hasn't, no one's

going to go after him. You know, guys or John's, as we say, rarely get charged except if they're caught in the act. And we know from Bill Belichick's defenders and Robert Kraft's continued place and respected society, plenty of plenty of people are willing to look past pervy old men looking to get some p okay. It doesn't go away. I don't care if you're eighty, you still want to taste. It's one thing to look forward to. Although I hope the lady's not eighty. That would be a weird taste.

But you know what I'm saying, it's good to know you still want it, and I don't. I just look. If it involves miners, then the guy's toast period. I get it. He can defend himself, but he's done. He's ruined, and the statue of limitations may not have run out for that. Even if it has run out, he's done. Tish's ruined. This is not a sympathetic, sympathetic figure. The Tissues are a real, big, prominent family, and he'd have

to be taken down and removed from everything. He's got family members who also work within the Giants organization who take charge. I see this guy stepping down. You know, life as he knows is kind of over now for him. And then we go to Jeffrey Epstein, who apparently had a kid fifteen years ago. This big bombshell email from Andrew Boughton's Windsor ex wife Sarah Ferguson never liked her, never liked her, but she congratulated him on the note

that she's sent on September twenty first, twenty eleven. This is after he was already convicted of sex with an underage girl, so she's still writing him. And he's a complete perf pedophile, we know. But yeah, those people in England, they they're pretty wild. The royal family's wild.

not the kid's fault who his father is. And it's highly doubtful that Epstein's sickness is an inheritable trait. I hope not. But let's be honest. The only bad thing that gets passed down on with sexally abusing kids is the person who gets abused as a child does it to kids when they become an adult. I think it's like ninety It's been studied for a long time. It's one reason why small town's gonna have such a high

percentage of kids getting molested. Isn't that disgusting? All sorts of shit going on today, Gang, I gotta catch up Kim Kardashians now with Lewis Hamilton, the f one driver. Man, they're having a ball Paris Hotel room disappeared for the night. I don't know what Kanye is doing. I know Kanye last week decided to apologize about all the Jewish stuff and the Nazi memorabilia. But look, I think his wife,

Bianca is way more beautiful than Kim. I think Bianca is one of the tippy top girls of all time. She just has it for me. That's gotta feel good for him. But by the same token, Oh, by the way, let me just say this, speaking of I watched a porno the other day. I don't know. Look, I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't like I don't need to see like I like seeing porno where the man and the woman obviously love each other, there's some kind of romance. I don't just need to see straight banging.

I don't know that does nothing for me. Show me that kissing, show me that she's talking to him, he's talking to her. That turns me on. So I'm watching this girl. Oh, let me let me step on this one. I press play as a beautiful girl and she's starting to make out slow with her man, and I'm like, oh, this is gonna be good. Let me get ready for this one. And then the camera pans down and she's got a prick. It was a transgender And now I go, well, now I gotta watch what they do because I've already

I've already committed to this. I thought she was a beautiful girl. And now what happens? What do they do? They touched Dix. I'm sorry to be so crass. They touch them together, and then the guy goes down on her. I couldn't why immediately got out of there, and I hope that nobody noticed me there. Whatever turns you on, But Jesus Christ, why do you want to be a pretty girl and have a package down there. What's the point of that. Some people have turned down by that shit.

Ye I'm not one of them. I like a good porn, but not that shit. But it is interesting to see, I gotta be honest. It is something that I go. Let me just see what they're up to, you know what I mean. Yeah, I enjoy that sometimes, not transsexual stuff, but I enjoy a porn now and then to see what people are doing. I just I like when two people look to be in love and get down together. That's a turn on to me. But let me change courses here. This morning I met Rosalie up the top

of the stairs. We're sitting in the living room talking and these are the kind of moments I just cherished so much. Where she's having coffee, I'm sitting down on the couch, the dogs are there. We're just shooting the shit about life. And I asked her questions about her family, and you think you know everything about your family, but you don't. And thank God, she's there to be the person that knows all of it because she lived it

seventeen years older than myself. She saw it all. And we're talking about I said, Grandma Pipanella, my mother's mother. Pipanella is Josephine and Italian. That's my middle name. I'm named after her, my mother. I was in my mother's belly when she died. I never met Grandma Pipanella. I understand she was a great woman and my father loved her to death. And she used to make wine and

impostla for the local mafiosa. She served al Capone because Capone was a Brooklyn boy before a Chicago boy, and he would walk around on these underground tunnels to my grandma's apartment in Brooklyn, in Bensonhurst, and the things that people did to stay alive. She told me about this guy that grandma took him named Benny. I said, who the fuck is that? Benny? Was a border she was,

he was old man and Grandma took him in. He had a he had a room to himself, and you know, okay, and then that was the big story about Well, it's the big story of our life. This this man money who began to come around when my grandfather fell off a building. He was a brick layer, fell off a building, hit his head was never the same. He got like childish played hide and seek with the kids. We call it don de lee in Italian, little Don Deli in

the fucking head. You know, Grandpa just disappeared. But I would look at pictures of him, go, this can't be our grandfather. He looks like Norman Rockwell. Who is this guy? Who's this white haired old man? This is not our grandfather. And sure enough, there's this story in our family that comes around in a few years about Grandma taking in a border named a man named Manino, who was very Italian,

very dark Sicilian, maybe possibly part black. And uh, you know, grandma came here from Italy and my supposed grandfather's grandfather's brothers were in the mob, and when she landed in Ellis Island, she was immediately given to my grandfather to be married. She had no say in the matter. None. It's almost it's like it's like Iran, like these these

girls have they just get married off. It's terrible. And the guy said, if you don't marry him, we're gonna go back to Sicily and tell everybody you're a big bhutana in America, you're a big tramp. And that's like the worst thing to not to have your town in Italy think that you're a terrible woman. So she married him, was never happy, and this money comes along as a border. I said, ro Grandpa was there, She goes, yeah, he was there, but he didn't leave his room a lot.

And I'm sure grandma and my nee were having sex because Grandpa wasn't having sex. I say grandpa, but my supposed grandpa was not having sex with her anymore. But yet two more kids appeared, my mother and my uncle NICKI, who were darker complexion than the other sisters and brothers. That's when me, rose Lee and some other Roators come from, and we all kind of look alike. And I don't really know the truth of it. My mother didn't want to talk about it. Her sister and Anna was like, no,

we're not talking about that. They wouldn't denounce their mother, just in the sense that she probably had sex with him. And then at some point he left and went back to Italy. My grandfather, supposed grandfather Nick got angry that two more little kids running around the house and he ain't he's not having sex with Grandma, so he snapped out of it. I Nan left and we just had a great talk about I told her, I said, remember that, I said, I listened to Sam with the Bolo Gravado's podcast.

Hadn't listened for a while. It used to be great. His stories were amazing. I said. He was always talking about this gangster John Poppa. I said, isn't that the guy that Daddy threw the milk bottle at She says, yeah, a long time ago. I must have been an infant in Brooklyn, and this guy, John Popper was a tough guy, young guy. He's walking down the street. He's saying awful things to people. Back then, people had their windows open.

It wasn't a lot of air conditioning back then. In fact, air conditioning was a tub with a big block of ice and you blew a fan behind it to get cool. So the windows were open. You could hear people in the street. You could hear, you know, the high school guys singing under the board walk all that. I mean, I didn't hear that, but that's what they were doing

back then. So he here's this guy, Oh you spicks and jews and kikes and this and that and and words, get the fuck out of Brooklyn, Get out of Benson nurse, real nasty. My father didn't like that. He went got a bottle of milk from the refrigerato, went to the roof of the building and threw the bottle of milk at the kid. It crashed above his head on the brick wall of the school, and he said, you want to fucking come see me? Come see me? And then

my father, Rosie said. Daddy sat down in a chair with the door open and a rifle in his hand, ready to shoot that kid, And thank god, he ran up the wrong staircase. I said, oh my god, this is a great story. This is great shit. I forgot that stuff. Sometimes I forget how my father was just a different kind of man. He just he captivated rooms. But then again, if I can keep it in the family, Rosalie had a different father than I did. He was not the same with her as he was with me.

Huh could have been. He was away in World War Two for five years and didn't see it till she was eighteen months old. She grew more attached to my uncle Lowry, his brother. It took time for her to warm up to him. He was a strange man. She didn't know it was a father. She was a baby, and who knows between World War two and being an undercover cop. That's very stressful shit. And she told me his story. I just cannot believe that he well, I mean,

I thought he'd never hit us. He hit me once because I didn't understand the words she was saying in Italian. I didn't. I didn't understand it, and I acted like, what are you saying? I don't know the hell you're saying? That bang right across the face, that he hugged me and kissed me. But my sister Loring got smacked. I said, what tell me this story? Oh you know, she was talking bed to mommy and Uncle Sally said, don't talk to your mother that way. Or maybe Jack did, and

my father heard about it. He smacked Lorne face for talking down down to my mother. But the story with Rosalie is atrocious. He came home from work one day from being undercover cop, and I don't know what was up his ass, but she said he went into her room and ripped up her stuffed animals and broke all of her records over his d I said, you gotta be kidding me, Daddy. Yes, aj, you had a different father than I did. And that's why when he was dying. She didn't seem as upset as I was, and it

bothered me. But why aren't you upset daddy's dying. You act like it's not a big deal. And she had kids and her husband. You know, there's more pressing things in life. You're losing a parent, but you have your own family, and she just we didn't talk for a while while he was dying, and it came to a head. We were arguing in my backyard and a horrible thought. I can't even imagine I did this, but he got physical. I took Rosie and put her over my I threw

it to the floor. It was awful on the tile floor. Oh my god. But I don't know what hell he was going through. I just I've always said row. He didn't live the life he wanted to live. He wanted to be a lawyer. There was no more money, Grandma said, there's no more money. His two brothers became doctors and teachers, and by the time he came along, he was an accident. No more money. In fact, the word is Grandma didn't want him. She can believe that she was not prepared

to have another son that late in life. And I think he carried that with him for many, many years. And I remember when I was telling Rosie about these stories that I remember, and it was one time he went he used to about fishing with my uncle Sal. They both used to like to drink on the boat, first fish, first, white cap first, everything a shot, a shot, a shot. And they get back home and they're both drunk. You could see it. And my mother's like, oh, did

you finish all the scotch? Or is there anything left? And he picked her up and placed her on the stove. It wasn't on. The stove wasn't on, but I remember going, oh, my god, that's not good. What's daddy doing? And then she climbed down from the stove. But another time he was said none as recliner with his big bottle of doers watching a movie. I'm over here, and Mary's across the room. My mother's next to him, and he starts to pour another scotch and she says, okay, another scotch?

How many are you gonna have tonight? And he took the bottle and dumped it upside down and said not anymore and her and it. Mary said, who's going to clean up? The boltes are I'm not touching it. Then he trudged upstairs to bed. There's somebody as if different sides to men. It's released quite something. You think you know someone and something else is uncovered, and it's kind of scary. It's not what you expect to hear about your dad. But still in all, we had great times.

We loved him very much. We had wonderful holidays, and he was a good band. Made us laugh all the time. Always pinched my mother's ass and pinched her breast, tell her he loves her so much, Cold her five times a day from work, never went to a bar, never went to a restaurant, always came home. You know, but you don't know what's in a man's head. That's the kind of show I was talking about last week about

the things that men carry. I'm not saying women don't carry things, but men carry I think a lot more of burdensome things in their mind because they're less apt to talk to their buddies about it. How you doing, man, I'm good, I'm fine, I'm good, I'm good. Instead of just saying I'm having a fucking rough go of it. Man, we don't do that. We lie. Everything's good. Bro, I'm good. It's go good, but it's not all good. And at some point that has to manifest itself in some kind

of action. And those are the things that came out. Yeah, man sitting in the chair with a rifle with the door open, rate and shoot this kid in the chest. What sick fuck? And I'll tell you this story one more time in case you forgot it. He comes home from work where night he'd have his big meal at ten thirty, eleven o'clock, his big meal. Right, he's sitting at the table, no shirt on. My mother's watching to meet. I'm sitting across room. I'm starting to fall asleep. It's late.

He says, you don't look good. What happened? Is there a problem today? What happened? No? No, tell me tell your father what happened? Well? I was wanted to play tackle football across the street in the school yard, and Jimmy Peager, Jimmy Peeker told me I couldn't play. My father put down his forking knife, took the napkin off his chest and leaned back in the chair and said, now I'm fucking pissed off. What did he tell you? I said, he just couldn't play. That is I think

his father's in the mafia or something. I heard that. Well, here's what you're gonna do. What's that? There's a brick outside on the four yer. Put a brick in your book, big and when you go to play football tomorrow and he says you can't do it, smash him on the head with the fucking brick. If you don't do it, I'll do it. You better do it. Stand up for yourself. I couldn't believe it. I packed that brick. I went to the school yard. Jimmy's diagramming plays in the dirt

with his finger. I'm over his shoulder. What are you doing? You can't play? Bang with the brick? Bang? What you just do? Oh my god, Jimmy, I'm playing and I played. Never had a problem with Jimmy peg again. That's the kind of justice that was handed out back then. It's over now. There's too many ring cameras, there's too many lawyers. There's too many lawyers and people who just want to get you arrested and press charges. And I loved just being able to take care of matters on our own terms.

Busted up a guy's car with stickball bats. It just was. It was a good street, just so they got the fucking message. You can't do that. Now you go to jail. Can't do it anyhow. Gang a little all over the place today, but I wanted to just clue you and on some of the family talk I had. I also want to say before I finished this show that the great Catherine Stewart is not doing well. She's been in the hospital for several days with a bad flu, pneumonia and sepsist and she's texted me a few times that

that the text aren't great. She's down and out, she doesn't feel right, she thinks she might be going and not to cry again, but just keep bring your thoughts. Her husband John is let me know what's happening to her, but keep bring your thoughts. She's been working from day one. I don't know a more generous person in my life, Catherine Steward. So let's just all hit on knees tonight, say a prayer for her, and hopefully good duels will appear in a few days. But that's it. No more

crime Christ. I've cried myself to sleep. I'm done. I gotta I gotta stamp out of this, but thanks for hanging around. Guys. This is our aj Benzi, your daily unfiltered podcast for Fame as a Bitch. February fourth, twenty twenty six. Hit your knees tonight, Okay, lovies,