Feels Like The First Time

Everything is crazy. Everything is wild, my life, my personal life, business, you name it. But forget all that shit. How is it not? How is it not impossible? I have to talk about today's inauguration. Today being Monday, it's Monday evening. I'm watching Ohio State beat Notre Dame, which I didn't bet it, but I had Ohio State. I'm fucking six and one the last few weeks. I'm on fire. Doesn't matter.

I didn't put any money up, so who cares either way. Look, I laid in bed, walk up at five point fifteen, and I'm just waiting, waiting for all the festivities to begin. Don't worry. This will not be a politics show. Maybe two or three more minutes, then the next thirty five

will be all whatever the fuck. But look, I've been on the phone texting back and forth with the Great Zeeva Palmer and of course the Great Catherine Stewart, the three of us talking about the inauguration and what's been happening. And it all began when, right before things got underway, Joe Biden decided to pardon all these assholes that I'll get into later. But let me just tell you something.

When I finally got from the bedroom to the living room, turned the big TV on, laid on the couch, had a cup of coffee, and my first thing I see is Melania walking out, walking out of a car, the plane, in the car, whatever she was in. But I just saw her that beautiful navy blue coat and the hat. Now I know some people want to go, oh that hat. She looked like the Hamburglar, get out of here. She

looked classy and gorgeous. If Jackie Oh wore that, it would be a poster, it'd be a frame picture around America. She's got class and she showed it. If you don't like her husband, you can't take it out on her. Clearly, the woman knows how to dress and how to look so perfectly put together for a specific day. And I cannot say the same for Kamala Harris, who was walking around with a bunch of zippers on our top today like she was in the nineteen eighties, listening to the

flock of seagulls. What are you doing, Kamala? Who gives a shit? I'll tell you what really pissed me off. It's a beautiful time, beautiful ceremony. It's a tradition in American politics, you root for the president of the United States, whether you're blue or red. Last night I was talking to a longtime buddy of ours. Actually he was Jack's friend since college. Ramsey, the Great Ramsey, Daddy love him.

That's the guy. We used to go to his house for Thanksgiving and play touch football before the turkey was served, me Jack, Joey, Jackie Chico against him and his two sons, Jordan and Evan, a couple of friends, and we'd have such great games before the turkey was served. Ramsey is a staunch liberal, and we were talking last night about life and things, and that his wife died He's been with another woman for several years now, Louise, wonderful woman,

and he's eighty years old. He's happy. And we were talking about how important it is not to be alone, to just know you've got someone next to you. I'm not talking about sex and all that kind of fun stuff, but just to know when you leave work, or you're in your car, or you're boarding a plane or whatever you're doing, you know you can call someone and say, hey, i'll be down, I'll be here in twenty minutes, and then you know, can you put this in a microwave

you want to start the cooking. Whatever it is, it's a great feeling. It connects you to the people in your life who keep you breathing, who keep your heart pumping, because if you stay lonely too long, as me and Ramsey spoke last night, we'd do a number on you. Man. And you know, Ramsey is a guy. Not to make this about him, but you know he was married to the great Barbara Dabby for many years. I mean, the amount of fun we had with them, I can't even

describe it. Forty years of great times and you know she died years back, and you know, you're in your sixties and suddenly you're alone. And he's very lucky to have found someone. And yes, he's a liberal, and so is this woman, and that's okay. And we both talked about shit last night and he was giving me shit. I was giving him shit. But we both agreed. Listen, I'm rooting for the president. I mean, I could have ripped Biden three different assholes, but I didn't want to

do that. I said, Rammer, Look, man, we got a root for the guy, right. He goes absolutely absolutely aged. We got a root from I got a picture of him and Jack wearing bandanas and do rags on their head on the front lawn of my house in nineteen sixty seven. I was five years old and Ramsey has my two hands and Jack has my two feet and they're swinging me around like a rag doll. That's how

far we go back. And while this was happening, several years later, Jackie was born, then Barbara and Ramsey had Jordan, who we call Jojo, who now is a big executive at Macy's. He's the guy behind the fireworks display and that Macy's Thanksgiving parade. We've had such a ball with these people. What fun, I reminded him, because Ramsey forgets. Remember I took that black girl to your house for Thanksgiving?

I don't know, twenty something years ago, twenty five years I don't know ahe I said, you don't remember a black girl in your Jewish household on Thanksgiving? Oh I remember? Now, rememb're laughing, I said, yeah, she a few years ago she threw her little three year old son out the window of a condo or actually a Manhattan hotel. Then she jumped. Three seconds later. They both died because it was a custody battle over her son. This is a girl I dated, Stephanie Adams. I mean, you just don't

know what people are like. But I'm just trying to illustrate how much fun and how many miles we've had together. Anyhow, I like Milania's hat. That's that for a segue. I liked her hat. I like how beautiful she looks. And you have to remember, as I told the great Catherine Steward and ZeVA Palmer today, you have to remember back in nineteen ninety five, I remember being out at nightclubs and lounges and tippy top restaurants and seeing Milania now

out canows now silent k however you pronounce it. The beautiful Milania was a model out and about and men were after her. I wasn't I had a girlfriend, and when I didn't, she you know, looked to be like the kind of girl I would never even have a chance with. But she was out there at the lounges at Cosla Feme, at twenty one Club, beautiful Nino's Restaurant, beautiful places, and as wow, that's you. Who's that? Oh

that's Millennia. She's hot. Yeah. And then Trump latches on to my ex girlfriend Kara, and that whole thing happened, and after him and Kara split, blah blah blah, he

gets Milania, and what a crazy ride has been. But I told Ziva and the Great Catherine Stewart, you know how weird it is for me to see this inauguration day, to see the festivity and the pageantry, and think about where I was with these people so many years ago, threatening his life on Howard Stern and and him suing me for twenty million dollars, and just so many crazy things happen. Then thank god, we buried the hatchet and I've been able to speak to him before he ran,

and even after he won the first time. Haven't spoken to him since, but I'm working on that. I want to get back in touch with him and his people, and that would be great stuff for the podcast and just great stuff for me period. But look at she looked beautiful. He looked great. Jd Van's his wife and the kids. That made me so happy to see children. It was a beautiful moment. The whole day was beautiful. Even Kamala's husband was mouthing the words to carry underwood,

singing acappella. Kamala wouldn't do it. Kamala, how what the fuck you pronounce it? I'll never care again, as if I ever did. Joe Biden was mouthing the words, even Jill was, but not Kamala. She kept her trap shut. And I know many of you are watching things on social media, particularly Instagram, and seeing what artificial intelligence has been doing with these videos. Oh my god, I don't know how in the next several years, decade, two decades,

what's gonna happen. You can place any man or woman with any other man and a woman any place in the world and make your partner believe you're cheating or you rob something, stole something, beat someone, up, shot someone. Ai is incredible. You've seen the videos of Kama looking like a prostitute and Trump playing the electric guitar. Oh, it's amazing, and it's also scary. You know what else is scary? People have to jump by Malania's off And of course I get it. She's too big for that.

People ask me, you think she'll get magazine covers now? She doesn't give a shit. Magazines are a dying medium. You think Donald Trump is second go around in the White House, You think he is clamoring for a vanity fair cover. She doesn't give a shit. She got the world by the short hairs man, and she earned it.

And not only that. I gotta hear Gail King. Gail King decides to say on TV Today that she looked over the crowd that this inauguration, and even though it was MLK Day, she really didn't see that many people of color in the crowd. Do you really what I mean? I didn't see any midgets, I didn't see many Asians. I didn't see a whole lot of people from India. I didn't see a lot of Native Americans. What else

do you want to say? I didn't see many down syndrome people either, But Gail King, there were black people in the audience, for Christ's sake, look harder. What a bunch of bullshit, Hey, Gail, I didn't see many people of color. And Oprah's bedroom eedis who shut your useless pie hole up? What is it about these people who

work on these TV shows? They think because they are paid extravagant salaries, and even though their ratings are in the toilet, they actually believe what they say will carry weight and move people to think the way they think. And I can say this from experience when I was you know, had my years on top and was around all the famous people and had TV shows and movies and books and having fun with every big name you can imagine. Yeah, there were times I thought I was

more important than I was. But then, luckily for me, I had some friends who kept me in check. Okay, not just friends, Joey Jackie, my cousin, Mario, Tony FEddi, Chico, Gay, Kevin. They would tell me, oh, whoa sold down? What are you doing? He be can't nah stop. They had me in check as best as they could. But for starters, there are plenty of people of color at the festivities and whether or not you saw as many as you want, as if that matters you watch you ball breaker, Gail King.

Trump will do more for people of color than Biden and even Obama ever did. Excuse me, Obama to the opposite of bringing people together. He separated whites and blacks. Ugh, don't get me started. And by the way, don't forget Trump. Trump almost doubled his support among black voters compared with twenty twenty. And you're supposed to be an esteemed newswoman, Gail King, in addition to being Oprah's scissor sister. Why wouldn't you know that? Fact? The fuck is with these

quote unquote newspeople journalists? And Gail's got a long track record of working in the news. She's not just Oprah's friend. Gail's been at it for a long time. What is with these people deciding to skip over the fact that more blacks voted for Trump than ever before. What an embarrassment? And like I said, Gail King is an award winning journalist.

Whatever the fuck award she won, who cares? But she's an award winning journalist and co host of CBS Mornings She's also editor at large of Oprah Daily, which I know all of you can't get your hands on quick enough. Who even cares what Oprah says anymore? I still open up the New York Posts and this articles. Here's what Oprah says. So the must has for this Christmas season? The fuck? No one cares what you must have? This

seventeen hundred dollars chair. No, I don't need it. Gil's also the editor at Lodge of Oprah Daly, and she hosts Gail King in the House, which I'm sure many of you watch or listen to. Wast not not watch, you listen to it. It's a live weekly radio show on Sirius XM, Gail King and the Houseboy and CBS wonders why their ratings are in the toilet, and other

networks wonder why people have stopped watching their bullshit lies. Actually, two nights ago, I forget what I was watching, but it ended and suddenly Hollywood Squares came on the new version. And that black guy I think he's on CBS with with Gail. He's another one with the tight pants, the short pants, the tight suits. You know, I just I can't take it. He's the host, and there's Whitney Cummings, who let me tell you, Whitney Cummings to comic. I

think is so pretty. I think she's beautiful. She's got this baby. Now we've talked about this. We don't know who the dad is. She may have went to a Spurm Bank. Very cute little boy. I always heart her pictures or her videos of her child. I wish they'm nothing but a wonderful life. I think Whitney is, like I said, beautiful, funny. She's actually being red pilled a bit.

A lot of people are in Hollywood these days. She has this boyfriend, this old skateboarder who I haven't seen their videos since the fires began, which is good news because she doesn't belong with that square. I'm sorry to be so personal. I actually get man. When people are like or dating people I don't like, it makes me pissed off. Oh let me just say, by the way, let me take this opportunity to say I made an error on yesterday's show by saying that Snoop Dogg DJ

did mar A Lago. I'm sorry he didn't DJ mar Loco. He DJ'ed in Washington, DC, very close to the White House, obviously DJing a Trump victory party hosted by some crypto king who I could care less about because I don't give a fuck about crypto, never touch it, learn about it, care about it. But in my opinion, that still means he worked and made money in supporting Donald Trump's endeavor. So there's that. Sorry, I got the geography wrong, but he's still decided to get a check from Trump, and

there's a lot of rappers like that. Nelly had to face down an argument from people on social media saying why are you doing it. He's like, hey, man, I'm just supporting the president of the unit. I'm supporting the office. You know, Kamala didn't give me any money. Obama didn't give me anybody to sing. You see what they're doing now. And there's other guys, young rappers like not Bad Bunny or these other assholes you hear about, but younger guys

that many of us don't know what. They're very popular, they make a lot of money, and then telling people straight up. One guy was showing the amount of money he had in his hand that quote unquote Trump paid him, which is not really accurate, but he was paid to singing or dance to do whatever the hell he does. So you've got a lot of people of color who are feeling very different than when Gail King wants you to think. But I didn't think I could hate Joe

Biden more. I didn't want to go out. I didn't want to hate him as he went out. Let me put it that way. I wanted to feel sympathy for the guy. We're all gonna be there at some point, unless we die young, before we get to that bitter, not bitter, that that unfortunate edge of dementia Parkinson's whatever the fuck he's got. Man, I got people in my life who are suffering from that. My wife's mother is dementia Parkinson's what she's doing to keep her not only

her mom, but her mom's her husband gonna stepdad. It's awful. They're both in their eighties and they're just not themselves. And I swear to God, Biden sounds less intelligent than they do. And he's running the country, or he was running the country. Thank god, we crossed that line. And as I told ZeVA and Catherine Stewart, I feel like we've all been a fox in a foxhol for four years and now we went through a war together, and

we're tight. We're so tight no one can separate us because we were down here in the trenches supporting Trump, shouting Trump and just bull just not taking the bullshit that he went through, and we stood by him, and here we are, and that's why today was a great day. But I didn't think I could hate Joe Biden more.

And then what he did in the last fifteen or twenty minutes of his presidency, the fact that he pardoned that for Gayzy, doctor Fauci, the evil one who was responsible for the death of millions, and the incompetent General Mark Millie, who was the worst asshole who's ever pinned medals to his chest. And then Biden goes ahead and pardons his family members. Hold it, wait a minute, excuse me, Well, what do you what? Ajay, you do the same thing. Look, let me tell you something. Like I said a couple

of weeks ago. As mad as I was that he pardoned his crackhead son Hunter, I understood it, and I said, you know what, I do the same for my son, no matter how fucked up he was, because I'm a father and I would die for my kids. But why is Biden pardoning his other family members. Yeah, he issued preemptive pardons for several family members because he had concerns that they'll be targeted by baselic and politically motivatal investigations.

Oh you mean, like what your Department of Justice and FBI did to Donald Trump for many, many years, that kind of politically motivated investigations, those baseless, politically motivatal investigations, You old asshole. See how dangerous he can be. At the very end, he was so infirmed and demented. We thought, listen, he's gonna stumble away. No, in the end, he got

real fucking nasty. Joe knows faratu. At the end his final batch of pardons, his brother James Biden, James's wife Sarah Jones Biden, his younger sister Valerie Biden Owens, her husband John Owens, his brother Francis brought Francis Biden. What the fuck did they do? The issuance of these pardons should not be mistaken as an acknowledgment that they engaged in any wrongdoing, nor should acceptance be misconstrued as an admission of guilt for any offense. He said, who would

do that? Unless you know that they could possibly be dragged into the illicit and illegal bullshit that the most corrupt president ever was involved in. Listen, guys, if I was, if I was ever president and stepping down, if I suddenly out of the blue, pardon my sister Rosalie and Jack and Joey and Julia and the two nieces, what the hell would you think? What do you think that means? It means they either know what kind of illegal shit went down, or they prospered from the illegal shit that

went down. Probably both. Well, wake up, all right, let's move on. I went a little longer with politics, and I thought, but guys, it's fucking inauguration. They give me a break. I need to talk about a young woman who is really out of sorts. I want you guys to really think about this. And it's hard. It's hard to feel sorry for her or have any kind of empathy.

I always confuse empathy and sympathy, but basically, I mean, it's just hard to not feel bad for her, you know, because all she did was try to grab her dream and make her mark on the world. And listen, we all have different ideas about what that exactly means to

all of us. I mean when did all of you, know, when did all of you recognize that moment in time when you just felt you finally understood what you needed to do to be seen, to be heard, to be known, and I don't know, maybe catch a little bit of fame. Maybe fly a little close to the sun. Why not send your wings. It's okay, it's okay wanting a dose of fame. It's no different than a little kid telling you he wants to be Superman when he grows up, or Spider Man. That's the thing that a lot of

little boys think, even young men to tell you. There was a time when, many years ago when when my nephew Jackie was younger kid so into Spider Man it was crazy. We'd come out of a restaurant or something, and he'd say he would take his you know, his palms and turn him upside down and like shoot invisible webs and he goes. He would say, hell, what would you do if you was Spider Man? Would you fly to that building and that building? And me and Joy would go, what the fuck are you talking about? But

he was so interested in that world. You know, I don't know, jack I'd fly to that building and swing over that building and go to the bridge and you know, slide down. I don't know, but that's where his mind was. Jackie, you know, always loved superhero movies and TV shows. That's why he made me watch the c W when I lived with him, and that's why as he got older, he loved professional wrestling during a time when we all thought he was look us in his mind, jack and

I and Joey Rose. What was he doing up there screaming while these fake wrestling matches went on. This is in the eighties. I would say he was way ahead of the curve. Joey was way ahead of the UFC curve and eventually began to work there and became Dana White's right hand man. You know, we a lot of us in my family were ahead of the curve on things that Joey was the first to tell me. You gotta listen to podcasts. Joe Rogan. Fuck Joe Rogan. He's not funny. No what bro his podcast is great. I'm

not gonna listen to that shit. What do I do every day? If I wake up at three thirty in the morning, and I do I just go to my phone and start playing Rogan or two bears, one cave or your mother's house or your sister's asked, whatever the podcasts are called. I listened to them in one ear pod as I go to sleep and drift in and out of sleep because I love to hear people talk and stories because I'm a storyteller, so I love that shit. But it was great. Jackie was so into wrestling back then.

You know, back then, Rosie had twelve thirteen, fourteen Yorkies. They were all related. Gypsy was the matriarch, and this was the third Gypsy at this point. There were two Gypsies before and the third Gypsy, I believe, if I'm not mistaken. There were so many dogs that were related that it was insane. The names jeter A, rod, Bella, Bochi, Cheeko, there was so many. And Jackie would take these dogs and do wrestling moves with them at the dining room

table as we're finishing dinner. He'd take Chico or Gucci we called the Gucci num Numb and he would make Gucci Numb Numb stand up the whole time on the table eating dinner with her little hands up, and he said, don't you don't you dare put your legs down? Don't you dare He would say it so often her nickname became dare you, and she came to dare you and he would do you have no idea? I mean sharpshooters, atomic drops, four figure leg drop, you name it, Jackie did it? Let me put a pin in that for

a moment. God bless my nephew. Jackie was so into pro wrestling that it was an absolute addiction. Now. I was introduced to professional wrestling in like nineteen seventy six. I was in ninth grade and a girl named Debbie prisco you may have heard of her in the past, came up to my locker and gave me a note and kept walking. This is me, pimply face. You know, I don't even know corduroy pants, whatever the fuck I was wearing. He decides she likes me, and she had

makeup and her hair was done right. Debbie was in eighth grade. She was thirteen and I was fourteen, but she was a little bit more advanced, and she wanted me to come over her house. No one ever did that to me. Her sister was Donna Priscoe, who was in my grade. And Donna was beautiful too, like, this is weird and I'm in class, And I said to Donna, your sister gave me a note to come over your house on sale. And she goes, then do it? Okay.

Both of them wore makeup. No other girls were wearing makeup. Now, Donna and Debbie's dad died and they all lived in a split ranch house on Keith Lane. Why do I still remember the address? Nine twenty three Keith Lane on

the right side. So, Debbie's mom was a big fan of professional wrestling, and she was also okay with allowing her thirteen year old daughter to take her new fourteen year old boyfriend downstairs into the finished basin, complete with paddling and a TV in the wall, black and white, and be alone with him. Meanwhile, Mommy Prisco, who also had her father in law living with her, He kept himself busy at the local supermarket, making sure the shopping

carts were always placed nice in their slots. He was an old guy, sixty seven sixty eight seventy. We called them pops the whole neighborhood, numerous pops. Anyhow, while Debbie and I were downstairs, we'd be making out. I knew how to make out, and upstairs, Missus Prisco would be in her daughter's bedroom where they had the bunk beds. Debbie and Donna slept on bunk beds, and the youngest daughter, Doreen, slept on a single bed. Three daughters in one room.

Missus Prisko would watch professional wrestling in that bedroom on the black and white TV. I'm talking Chief j Strongbow, Bobo Brazil, Andre the Giant, Superstar, Billy Graham, Bruno, San Martino, You have no idea Killer Kowalski, Ivan Putski, and they were Polish, so Putski and Kowalski she loved. And she would smoke cigarettes and watch the watch these wrestling matches and scream and get so excited when there was a guy being pinned or running across the ring hitting the ropes.

It was insane. And Debbie and I downstairs. Could he hear her and Doreen and Donna screaming and cheering? And Debbie, here she is, She's thirteen years old, This ballsy chick who came up to me at my locker and stuffed the note in my hand, and it had her name and number on it. And I'll never get how cute and beautiful she looked. Debbie and Donna, her sister, just two sisters who were way ahead of every other girl

when it came to makeup and hairstyling. They both went to school with lots of makeup ball mainly eyeliner, blue eyeshadow, ruse, red lips, that you name it. They also had great figures. They would wearing tight chinos and tight T shirts. They knew exactly what they were doing, and I'll never forget. Debbie wore a perfume called Sweet Honesty. Do any of you women remember Sweet Honesty? It came out before Ralph Floranz tuxedo. Remember that? Oh yeah, it's a great smell,

not a long sound. Crazy, But if I smell that now, it would take me right back to that moment. And man, I could hear and smell that basement right now. That's how strong the sense of smell is when it comes to thinking about your past. I mean, years ago, some asshole above me is vacuuming our wooden floor. Sorry if you hear this, but years ago, I'm talking twenty thirty years ago. I put my nose into an empty beer bottle. I smelled it. It was a Miller, a Miller beer bottle,

Miller beer. And I'm telling you, it shocked me right back to being in high school, hanging out with my buddies, running around the library fields at night. It was a big field right next to our library, hence library fields. And everybody went in and we had a six pack and some pretzel nuggets, and who was making out? Who had a joint? Now? And then? It was a wild time, and that's how we got our rocks off. But not

for nothing. Their little sister, Doreen must have been nine or ten years old, and sometimes she'd start to descend the stairs thirteen steps into the basement. I'll never forget it, and she would go down those steps just to see us, or maybe she went down there because her mom told her to. I'll ever know. But she was cute. She was a little inquisitive kid, and I distinctly remember all these years later, Guys, it's almost it's almost fifty years

it's forty eight. But I mean, I can't even even understand that that this vivid memory is almost fifty years ago. Whenever we hear Doreen's little socked feet walking down the stairs, Debbie and I had to quickly not look so disheveled and hot, you know. I mean, Debbie was what you'd call a real go get her when I first met her and went to her house the initial time. We're watching TV black and white, like I said, and the Elvis Presley movie Blue Hawaii was on, and Debbie said, oh,

how much she loved Elvis Presley's face. She actually told me I reminded her of him. No one ever told me shit like that, so I was out of my mind. So she takes my hand at some point and shoves it under her sweater. Just took my hand without even talking and put it under her sweater, which was white. And I remember the material was called bout Clay. Oh yeah, bo u c a lei bou clay sweater. How's that? Anyhow, Dorene comes down and says, Mom wants to make us

root beer floats. Do you guys want some? And Debbie has her hand under my overalls and she says, well, be right up. Doreen pissed off. Debbie was pissed at we got interrupted. I was nervous as fuck. She was pissed off, and she was so pissed that our time together was getting against Ruther. She goes upstairs in a bad mood. It's a very small kitchen. Mom and her father in law pops her up there, and her mom is mixing us vanilla ice cream and Roo beer of

soda in tall glasses with big spoons. And I figured, you know, just be nice, just that sweet and innocent. But Debbie sucks down her ice cream float and says, Okay, we're gonna finish the movie, and Durie and Donna don't bother us. That's what she told her sisters and her mom. Right there, she just laid out the law. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was a virgin, mind you, so was she and I had been dating Debbie for

several weeks. She was one of those girls that every guy from ninth to twelfth grade talked about and galked about because she was very advanced in her body and her face and the makeup. Like I said, And on top of that, every day I have my lifelong friend Kenny asking me every day at school if Debbie and I had done the deed. But Kenny, and you know I call him Marv, would grab me after homeroom and take me aside into a cubby hole and say, what's going on with Debbie? Did you guys do it? Did

you put the wood to her yet? Did you put the wood to her yet? It's a weird expression, but back in seventy six, seventy seven, that's the way that question was posed by your friends. Did you put the wood to her? It's a lot of pressure, gang, It's a lot of pressure to be fourteen and the guy who had a young, hot girlfriend and have to hear all your boys peppy you with so many sex questions because our hormones were raging. That was like winning the lottery.

Back to that day at my loco, when Deby gave me the note, I might as well have won super Lotto. Back at Debbie's house, we finished our root beer floats, go back downstairs, and when her mom was done watching professional wrestling, it got real quiet, and that's when Debbie, who was in complete control, decided it was time for her to take my hands and I raced them on

all the good parts of her body. She did it all, and after a while, with both of us sweating in this dark basement, she asked me, do you want to do it? Have you ever done it? I said, no, have you no? But I want to do you want to? Yeah? I couldn't believe it. Do I want to do it? What fourteen year old boy doesn't want to do it? But I was scared, shit, man, I mean I told Rosa that picked me up by ten o'clock it's like nine forty. I'm like, oh my god. I was scared

of mother or sisters would come downstairs. But she told me relax, relax. Can you imagine a thirteen year old girl doing this telling me relax? And she asked me if I had a rubber this is no. I didn't expect anything would happen. She goes, are you mad that's gonna happen? I said no, I just didn't come here with any protection. I mean I barely knew what condoms were back then. I mean, my sister Loraine and Frankie

lived with us in the guests room downstairs. And I remember Frankie had red Trojan condoms and his on his night table draw because I used to spy, you know, look into his draw and see and I'm like, oh wow, that's a condom. But I didn't I didn't take any. So I'm fucking fourteen. And she gave it a few minutes. Then she goes, it's fine. I'm not worried. If you're not,

I mean, if you're not worried, I'm fine. I'm sitting there with Blue Hawaii on as Debbie lowers my overalls and pulls them down to my knees and straddles me. And by the way, this was her first time too, as I said, And I'm looking at the TV that's in plant in the wall, and the steps, the thirteen steps are right there. This could all go bad and within seconds, and she's awkwardly trying to position our young inexperienced sells into having sex for the very first time.

I'm looking over a left shoulder as Elvis Presley sings like a river flows surely to the sea, darling. So it goes, some things were meant to be Come on, come on, as you can imagine, because all of you remember your first time. I couldn't believe what the hell was happening, what kind of good fortune was granted me? In mind you, I still had to keep my eyes and ears on when and if someone would open the basement door and decide to walk downstairs. But nobody did.

The house was so quiet. I really believe that her mother knew what was going on, and maybe it was okay with it. I don't know anyhow the deed was done. Then I'm not gonna lie and tell you how great I was or how many orgasms she had. When you're fourteen and she's thirteen. Long comes to an end in six minutes maybe tops. And when the movie ended, I

called Rosalie to pick me up. You know what happens, Your whole life changes in the middle of an Elvis Presley song in the dark in a finished basement, watching a black and white TV after you've finished roop beer floats with your girlfriend and her family. Next day at school, of course, as is the case in junior high school, you got your buddies who come up to you and we're talking to Marvin, did you put the wood to her? And I didn't want to say. I was thrilled, but

I was also confused. You know, I didn't I didn't know if it was a secret or the kind of shit you could tell one friend and then, unfortunately, maybe watched that story spread across the whole school. That's not cool, But when you're fourteen, you're bursting to tell people news like that. Like I said, it's like winning the lottery. There was no other boy at fourteen doing what I just did. So I told them how could I not?

It's what kids do. So I was thinking of Debbie and my first time because of that girl on social media who I began this story with, who agreed to sleep with one hundred, Well, she tried to sleep with a thousand guys in a day. I say that girl when I should really say that Putana. I mean, this is a sex worker named Lily Phillips who slept with one hundred and one men in one day, and she's

now revealing that she's got a big concern. Obviously, she's an only fans chick who's making a small fortune, and she went and slept with one hundred and one guys in fourteen hours. You do the math. I can't, but I will tell you this. I did some research. We hear all these stories about these girls making millions of dollars and only fans. One girl made forty three million in a year. We find out what the taxes takeaway and with only fans take away, this chick. I mean,

I'm not saying it's a bad deal. She ends up a fourteen million, still a windfall, but at eight forty three. Basically, most girls, most people, and only fans are raking at about three hundred dollars a month. Okay, whether you're cooking food or doing archery, whatever you're doing, or giving guys head, it's not a lot of dough and it's a lot

of work. So this chick, after she sleeps with one hundred and one men, one more than she planned to, she broke down in tears because this documentary filmmaker Josh Peters asked her a battle after it, and she said, it's not for the wheat girls. If I'm honest, it was hard. I don't know if i'd recommend it. It's cartiloc being a prostitute in a sense, in the sense of it's just a different feeling. I didn't know how to explain it here. Let me explain it. You a whore,

or as my father would say, a whoa. And suddenly the story of Debbie Prisco slamming me against my locker, giving me a note, and in taking me by the hand and telling me what to do to her after we drank our root beer floats and stopped hearing her mom's cheering for Ivan Putski doesn't sound so bad, does it? That actually sounds almost sweet, as sweet as the Sweet Honesty perfume she wore that I smelled on my overalls

for the next ten days. I'm aj Benza. That was your daily Unfiltered podcast for January twenty first, twenty twenty five. We'll talk to this tomorrow